Max’s Freudian Slip #39

by craigpwriter888@tutanota.com & J

Author’s notes: 

As usual, thanks for the support and comments and if you are appreciating the story, be sure to donate to nifty!

Chapter 39

“You’re not going to believe this…” is not exactly the message I like to receive from Stacy.  I read it as I left my afternoon meeting Tuesday.  It must be parental paranoia, because I immediately assumed the worst. 

“What now?”  I asked, concerned Max was continuing to be hassled. 

Fortunately, it wasn’t what I presumed at all. 

“Bach is gone!”  She happily replied, adding a smiling emoji.

It took me a second to realize she was talking about the assistant principal at Olympia who was an absolute witch after the SNO debacle, and not randomly referring to the famous composer.

“Can I call?”  She asked.

Her voice was filled with glee when I answered.  “She’s been ‘reassigned’,” Stacy explained.  “Some job at the head office.  Her replacement called me himself.  Dr.  Brennan.  Seems nice.” 

“He called you?”  I asked.  “What for?”

“Yep.  He wanted to assure me the new regime takes all matters of harassment seriously.  He didn’t say it, but I have the impression he didn’t approve of how Mrs. Bach handled things.”

“Interesting.  I’m sure they aren’t calling every parent.”

“Correct.  He mentioned personally contacting those who have had concerns about how their child was treated.  Which tells me we weren’t the first to complain about that nasty woman, but her blatantly homophobic and unfair treatment of Max must have finally given them enough reason to remove her,” Stacy posited.  “It sure felt nice to get a positive call from the school for a change.”

Indeed.  As stressful for Stacy as the recent correspondence from Olympia has been, it’s gratifying to hear the contentment in her voice.  We were all appalled by how Mrs. Bach acted.  Frankly, it was jarring — in progressive Minneapolis of all places — to witness such virulent homophobia from a school administrator in 2019.

But, is it just a coincidence?  Could Stacy be right, that Bach’s antics toward Max did her in?  Considering we threatened to go to the media, or at least the superintendent and school board and consult with an attorney, maybe they finally realized what a shit storm she was causing and the potential liability was just too high.  It still seems like a stretch to assume her treatment of Max was the catalyst, considering how difficult it can be to dislodge a union-protected public employee, but I guess it doesn’t matter.  That she is gone is all that does.

***

That evening, Bob called from the airport.  He was flying out sooner than planned and wouldn’t be home until late Friday. 

“Just checking in.  Cam has you on speed dial if he needs anything while I’m gone.”

“I’ll be here,” I replied.  I hadn’t forgotten.  Had Jeanine stayed away, I’d be getting some quality boy time the next three days.  She has impeccable timing.  “Any news on the Chad front?”

“No, nothing.  My guys think we might need to take a different angle.”

“Yeah?  How?”

“They want to know if Max would be willing to send him a message, to reinitiate contact.  I told them that wasn’t a good idea, but we’re hoping it can still work if they pretend to be him.  He’s not biting on any of the fake profiles set up to entice him.”

“Maybe he’s running scared and trying to be more careful.”  That seems unlikely, but you never know. 

“Based on how he leered at Max at the pizza place, I very much doubt that.  He may just be busy.  Hard to say,” Bob stated.  “Max doesn’t have to actually communicate with Chad, but we might need his help making sure it’s believable.  His input — you know, to make sure they don’t say something that tips him off.  If Chad’s savvy, and I think he is, he might ask questions that only Max can answer.”

I let out a sigh.  I really don’t want Max involved.  It isn’t healthy for him.  Thankfully, that sounds minimal.  “Well, let's hope we aren’t in a position where we need to approach Max with that idea.”

“Agreed, it would be a last resort and only if he’s willing,” Bob agreed.  “Anyway, I better go.  My flight is about to board.  Thanks again for keeping an eye on Cam.”

***

It didn’t take long to hear from Cam.  He texted me as he was leaving school on Wednesday.  “May I come over?  Please?”

“Sure.  Everything okay?”  I answered immediately.  I wonder what his mom said or did.

“Yes.  Mom is out shopping with her girlfriends,” Cam responded.  “I just want to hang out.  That cool?”

It was more than cool.  It’s always nice when a boy just wants to chill with you.  The timing was actually perfect.  Stacy called a couple hours ago, wondering if I could pick up Max from a friend’s house and take him to dinner.  A work disaster erupted and she will be working late.

So, happily, and unexpectedly, I will be having boy time times two.

***

Cam was waiting outside when I pulled up, before bouncing excitedly to my car.  I informed him that Max would be joining us for dinner, which induced elation.

“How are things with your mom?”  I asked as I turned onto the main drag.

Suddenly, his entire demeanor changed.

“Okay, I guess.  She’s been fine.  But Daddy just left, and she’s already ditching me for her lady friends.  I thought she’d actually want to spend time with me or something.  She did say something about taking me shopping, but I’m not going to be bought off, and when I told her that she didn’t say anything else.”

He sounds almost dejected, and very spiteful.

“Well, it could be worse.  At least there haven’t been lectures about going to Hell,” I pointed out, trying to focus on the positive.

“No, nothing like that,” he admitted.  He stared blankly into the distance.

“I know it has to be awkward, her coming back all of a sudden and acting like nothing happened.  It sounds like she’s trying, though,” I suggested.

Cam shot me a glare and shook his head.  “You sound just like Max.  And I know your hearts are in the right place, but I really don’t think she gets credit for not telling me I’m Hell bound.  That’s the bare fucking minimum for a mother, not some great accomplishment!”  Cam raged.  “And let’s not forget she told me that exact thing several times before she ran off.  She made it clear what she thinks of me and where she stands on my ‘sinful lifestyle’.”

I gave his leg a gentle squeeze as the car grew silent.  I wanted to continue this conversation, but it would be better at home.  Cam needs a hug, and I want to comfort him before delving any further. 

He followed me into the house.  Once I kicked off my shoes, I turned and wrapped my arms around him.  He sank into my chest.  I squeezed him tight and gently rubbed his back.  “Everything will work out,” I assured him. 

After holding him for a few moments, I suggested we sit.  “I totally understand about your mother,” I stated as we sat on the loveseat.  “I would never tell you how to feel.  Just encourage you to try and keep an open mind.”

Cam rolled his eyes.  “Since she does?  She looks down on everyone and hides behind religion, and sure doesn’t act like Jesus.  She’s the least open-minded person ever.”

I nodded.  “That’s true.  She’s always been judgmental and snide toward people she looks down on, which seems like most of humanity.  But, she is still your mother.  If she’s trying —“

“‘Trying’?  Really?  She abandoned me for weeks, then struts in like she never left or said those horrible things!  And the worst part is, Daddy is playing along.”

I wasn’t sure what to say.  What Cam’s saying isn’t wrong, and his reaction is only human, but it’s still going to eat at him.  Even if he can’t forgive, he has to find some way to make peace.  If not for her, for himself and his own happiness.

“I’m sure that’s frustrating and annoying, and I get why that might cause you to question if your father is really on your side like he says he is,” I began, “but if you think about it, you know he is.”

Cam looked up at me, his eyes welled with tears.

“Yeah, I guess.”  His voice was so soft, I could barely hear him. 

“We’ve talked about it.  He feels really guilty about having to travel right now.  Whether it’s obvious or not, he wasn’t thrilled with the timing of her return, either, and he has doubts, too.  But your dad is a good man who is trying to keep the peace and role-model handling things gracefully — for you.”

Cam sniffled.  A tear rolled down his cheek.

“Things were going so well.  Daddy and I are closer than ever, things weren’t tense or awkward at all, and I was just getting used to her not being around or even part of my life.  I figured it was her loss but probably for the best, you know?”

“I do.  And now her coming back dredges up how she made you feel.”

“Yeah!  But it’s more than that,” Cam hinted.

“Oh?”

“It’s like…  I’m mad at her, and disappointed with how she is.  You know, closed-minded and extra and phony and stuff,” he explained.  “At the same time, I know she’s still my mom and I’m supposed to be happy she’s back, and I feel guilty that I’m not.  But also confused because part of me wants to be excited.”

Now I’m confused.  “What do you mean?”  I asked.

Cam sighed.  “It isn’t like I don’t wish she was different.  I don’t fantasize about it like I used to, and I know we won’t ever be super close, but I want things to be better.  Daddy says I should always pray for her, but it’s gotten hard.”

I rubbed his arm.  “So, wouldn’t her coming home and behaving herself be a good thing?  Maybe even an answered prayer?”  I may not be very religious myself, but I know their faith is important to the Rices.  If it provides Cam solace, I don’t see any harm in that. 

His gaze shifted to the floor.  “You’d think.  But I just…  can’t.”

“You ‘can’t’ what?”  I’m genuinely perplexed.

He paused, looked up at me, then down again. 

“I can’t get my hopes up or let my guard down,” Cam said sadly, now full-on crying and almost gasping for breath.  The floodgates have opened.  “I won’t be able to handle it when she rejects me again.  I want a mom who loves and accepts the real me, who wants me to be happy, and I don’t think she does.  I’m not sure she can.”

Cam’s words, profound and precocious, were piercing and wrenched my stomach.  They lingered as he sobbed, and I’m unsure how to assuage his angst.  It’s almost eerie, the quiet of the house being punctured by his emotional turmoil.  Seeing him like this is heartbreaking. 

It’s always been obvious things with his mother are strained, but until this moment I never fully grasped how affected Cam truly is.  He always acts like he doesn’t care what she thinks, but he clearly does.  I suppose that’s only human.  Her rejection cut deeper than perhaps anyone realizes.  Despite their closeness, I’m not certain even Bob understands the depth of his fragility.  If he does, he’s never even alluded to it, despite all the times we’ve talked. 

It occurred to me Cam’s baggage with his mother isn’t dissimilar to Max’s daddy issues.

I wiped his tears as best I could, pulling him closer.  “I’m sorry.  That must be really hard, to constantly worry that if you forgive her and try to let her in, she’ll eventually say something that brutalizes your soul.”

Cam nodded and continued to cry, albeit not as hard.

“It’s understandable why you’re so cautious, but even you’ve acknowledged she’s been okay so far.  If her intent is positive, and she’s keeping her mouth shut, she is making an effort and showing growth.  That’s all you can realistically expect at this point, considering where she started,” I stated cautiously.  “Do you want some advice or just to vent?”

His crying slowed.  He adjusted positions and put his head in my lap, with his face looking up at me.  He looked helpless and sad.  It reminded me of the times I’ve consoled Max. 

“I’ll listen to whatever you have to say.  It’s not like it’s going to make me feel any worse.”

I gently stroked his hair.  “Well, you basically have two choices.  You can either interpret her behavior optimistically, grant her the benefit of the doubt, and proceed forward — or you can be pessimistic, drown in cynicism, and let your anxiety rule,” I declared.  “I get the appeal of bracing yourself for the other shoe to drop, but even if you’re proven right, wallowing in that space is just going to make you miserable.  Holding on to your bitterness and resentment punishes you just as much as it does her.”

Cam closed his eyes as he exhaled deeply.  “I know you’re right, it’s just so hard.  She hasn’t done anything to earn it and never even said sorry,” he explained.  “I don’t know how I’m supposed to forgive someone who thinks I should suffer eternal damnation.”

I thought.  Being devout, what Cam needs to hear may be different from how I’d approach Max or Noah.  

“Because you’re a good person,” I stated.  “Besides, I’m not sure she really believes that.  She’s Baptist, right?  I know you’re more religious than I am, so please correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t Protestants believe that faith in Christ alone secures salvation?  You’re a baptized and believing Christian.  I’m not sure how she can square that attitude with her own faith.”

“She always seems to find a way,” he snorted.  “Even if she doesn’t believe it, the fact that she said it to her kid is messed up.  Like she was trying to bully or manipulate me into changing, as if I ever could.”

“Yes, it is.  She clearly has her own issues, and it isn’t fair for her to project them onto you,” I agreed.  “But as bizarre as it is, since she thinks homosexuality is wrong and harmful, she probably thinks she’s helping.”

“Yeah, well, she isn’t.”  He was tensing up again.  I started rubbing his temples and forehead.  It seemed to work, as he closed his eyes and relaxed again. 

“I know.  And I’m not making excuses for her, but I am worried about how this is eating at you,” I shared.  I decided to take another stab at the religious angle, since that seems key.  “Even if you can’t honor her like the Commandment instructs, you can try to turn the other cheek.”

Cam’s eyes shot open.  He didn’t say anything, but sat up.  Something resonated.

“Even though she hasn’t apologized, you can still take the high road.  It shouldn’t fall on the 13-year-old, but perhaps the healthiest thing is to forgive her — not because she asked for it, but in spite of her failure to do so.  It isn’t to absolve her, but for your own sense of peace,” I suggested.  “Maybe even say as much, that you’re trying to forgive her for everything, how you want to have a positive relationship and let go of the hurt, and are praying for her.”

“Do you really think that will help?”  For the first time, his tone sounds hopeful.

“I am absolutely confident you’ll feel better if you get everything off your chest and give her the opportunity to be the mother you deserve.” I stated.  I didn’t say it, but I also believed it might guilt her into better behavior.  “Show your hand, be vulnerable, and put the ball in her court.  It puts on display your maturity and extending her grace might just give your relationship the fresh start it needs.  At the very least, you’ll know you tried.”

“And what if she reacts badly?”

I sighed.  “I wish I could tell you that won’t happen.  It’s a risk, but she does seem to be trying to turn over a new leaf.  I don’t know whether she’ll accept your olive branch, and only you can decide whether to take the leap of faith and make the overture,” I said, patting his leg.  “What I can say — unequivocally — is that no matter what happens, you have so many people who love and care about you.”

Cam leaned into me.  “Thanks Craig.  I feel better than I did,” he shared.  “I’m still not sure if I’m ready, but I’ll think about it.”

I put my arm around him.  “I’m not trying to pressure you.  I just want you to feel better and break the feedback loop of anger.”

“I know,” he replied, squeezing me back.  “Hey Craig, can I have a snack?”

I laughed.  It’s funny how quickly moods can change.  If they aren’t marinating in existential dread or horniness, boys are ruled by their stomachs. 

“Of course.  I know how hungry kids are after a long day at school,” I said, ruffling his hair.

***

As we moved into the kitchen, it occurred to me I could just invite Cam to raid the pantry or refrigerator.  He knows where everything is, having just stayed with us.

But with the surge of paternalism toward him I was feeling, I couldn’t resist the urge to play dad and take care of him.

“How does a sandwich sound?”  I asked.

“Sure.  But you don’t have to make it for me,” he responded.  Cam, always with gracious manners.

“I know, but I want to.  I don’t get to spoil you very often.”

He smiled and sat at the island.

“Whole wheat, romaine, a little tomato,” I suggested.  “But what kind of meat and cheese?”

“Do you have ham and provolone?”

“Yes, Craig’s Deli is fully stocked,” I joked, pulling them from the fridge.  “Mayo or mustard?”

“A little of both, please.”

“Best of both worlds.  Dijon or yellow?”

“Surprise me.”

Cam told me about his day while I put on the finishing touches.  While he was eating, we heard the sound of a dribbling basketball.  I glanced out the window and spotted a shirtless Noah shooting baskets.  I don’t ever tire of that view.  “Damn, that neighbor of mine is always disturbing my peace and quiet,” I commented with obvious sarcasm.

“Noah?”  Cam asked, perking up.  I nodded.  “When I finish, can I go play with him?”

Just a few minutes ago we were having a heart to heart and relating to each other as peers, almost equals.  Sure, he was upset and in need of comfort, but he was exploring adult, abstract concepts and articulating his feelings.  Now he’s asking permission to ‘play’ outside with a friend, like a young child. 

I think that’s part of what I find so enamoring about this age, when you see flashes of both the boy and man.  It just charms me in a way I can’t quite explain.  I wonder what Cam was like as a little guy.  I'm kind of sad I didn’t know him then. 

“Absolutely.  Just don’t make yourself sick.”

***

I walked outside to see the boys talking and laughing.  “Craig, can Noah come with us to dinner?”  Cam yelled across the yard.  I gave them a thumbs up.  Heck, boy time multiplied by three is my kind of night.  Nice.  “We’ll be back in a few.  Noah wants to change.”

***

For whatever reason, Max went over to his new friend, Seb’s, house after school.  Seb used to go to a Widmer with Cam, but transferred after being mercilessly bullied.  Apparently, when it came to light he was being molested by a popular teacher, his peers either didn’t believe it or blamed him.  Anyway, Max mentions Seb a fair amount, so I’m eager to finally meet him.

When I put his address in the GPS, I noticed Seb’s house is just a few blocks away.  I knew the street name sounded familiar.  We could walk there if we wanted, but since we’re on our way to dinner, that wouldn’t make sense. 

I made the boys kill a few more minutes so we wouldn’t arrive early.  5:30 is the time I confirmed with Max.  He’ll be excited to see Cam and Noah are in tow. 

“Max will be surprised to see us,” Noah mentioned on the ride over.  “Seb must have kept him busy, because neither of us have heard from him all afternoon.”

“But he’ll be disappointed he missed out on earlier,” Cam quipped, giggling.  Noah gave Cam’s seat a hard kick from behind, clearly unhappy Cam was telling secrets.  I don’t think Noah’s garmuc will be needed tonight.  I couldn’t help but grin, but didn’t address the innuendo.

“I’m sure he’ll be pleasantly surprised you’re both along,” I quickly added, trying to ease any tension.  “But how about we don’t abuse the shit out of my car?”

I glanced in the rear-view mirror and noticed Noah blushing.  He looked exasperated.  “Sorry Craig.  Sometimes Cam thinks he’s funnier than he is and needs to keep his trap shut.”

Cam, always quick on his feet, didn’t miss a beat.  “It’s hard to keep my mouth closed when your —”

“That’s enough,” I interrupted.  Normally I wouldn’t intervene, and I enjoy their banter, but for some reason Noah seems sensitive.  It confuses me as to why he’s embarrassed, because he’s talked with me before about the relief Max and Cam provide him.  For whatever reason, alluding to his participation in mixed company has him on edge.

“Sorry, Noah,” Cam replied.  Of course, his smart ass couldn’t just leave it at that.  “I’ll make it up to you later, I promise.”

“Cameron Brendan!”  I growled sternly, in conjunction with a withering look.  Cam is clever, but he’s pushing it too far.

That got Cam's attention, because he grimaced.  I’m not sure if it was my tone or deploying his full and middle name, but he immediately shifted to contrition. 

“Er, sorry sir.  I’ll stop now.  My bad.”

It was only about twenty seconds, but no one said anything until we arrived, at which point my phone buzzed.

“Can we say hi to Seb, too?”  Cam asked.  I think he was trying to change the subject, realizing he had angered Noah and irritated me.  “I haven’t seen him since the dance, when we were getting hauled off to the office.”

“Sure,” I said unbuckling my seatbelt.  I figured they would.  I’m curious about Seb, and it would be rude for them to stay behind. 

As they exited the car, Cam offered Noah a fist bump, which was readily accepted.  That’s as good a peace offering an eighth grader can give.

***

The buzz was a text from Bob, checking to see if Cam was okay.  He saw he was in my neighborhood — Life360 or whatever they use to track their kid’s location.  I quickly assured him everything was fine.  Noah and Cam had already gone to the door.  I may not get many chances to meet Seb.

I made it to the step as the door opened.  I caught it just before it closed and stepped inside.  I quietly watched the scene unfold.

Noah and Cam immediately gave Seb a fist bump.  “Hey little genius,” Cam added.  “It’s good to see you.  What’s up?”  Seb is a diminutive boy.  Short and skinny, with round glasses.  I know it’s stereotyping, but you just know he’s smart as a whip based on his appearance alone.  He has a cute face, but is still much more of a boy than either Cam or Max, who are still pretty boyish-looking themselves.  He looks downright childish with Noah towering over him.  In fact, he kind of reminds me of a scrawnier version of Spencer.

Seb was clearly delighted by Cam and Noah’s unexpected appearance.  He was grinning from ear to ear and almost bounced as he walked.  “Not much.  Just the usual.”

“I didn’t know you lived so close,” Noah said.  “Our bus goes right past your house on the way to school.  I can’t believe I’ve never seen you on it.”

“I guess I didn’t ever think to ask where you guys live,” Seb replied.  “And you haven’t seen me on the bus because Mom drives me.  I’m hoping she’ll start letting me ride some,” he added, glancing back at who I presume is his mother.  She’s petite, like her son, and looked put together.  She had on a casual dress and her hair was neat.  I recall Max telling me Seb’s parents are overprotective, which I guess after what he went through over the summer is understandable, but she didn’t look like the overbearing type.

“You can totally sit by me, if you want,” Noah offered graciously.  “I’ll make sure no one gives you a hard time.”  Seb smiled, and glanced again at his mother.  Noah continued.  “I guess that gives us something to talk about at lunch tomorrow.  You will be back, right?  It’s been boring without our favorite sevvie.  Everyone’s been wondering where you are.  Ashley was just saying today she missed your jokes.”  Noah playfully nudged Seb with his elbow. 

“More friends?”  Seb’s dad finally spoke, his tone uncertain.  He resembled his son:  medium height, thin, dark hair, and glasses.  It’s easy to see where Seb gets his looks. 

“Honey, why don’t you introduce us?”  Seb’s mom suggested nervously.  Both of his parents appeared almost shell-shocked.  Are they really so surprised their son actually has friends? 

Cam did what Cam does best:  impress the hell out of grown-ups.  “Sir,” he began, stepping up to Seb’s father and quickly offering his hand.  “I’m Cameron Rice, but everyone calls me Cam.  Seb was in my algebra class last year — at Widmer.  He helped me out quite a bit.  He’s practically a savant.”  You could sense a hint of pride in Seb’s father’s face.

“And this is Noah Reed,” Seb interjected.  “He’s one of my lunch friends from Olympia.”

“Nice to meet you both,” Noah offered, before turning toward his younger classmate.  “You’re not just my lunch friend.  We’re friend friends,” he added as an aside to Seb, but loud enough for everyone to still hear.

“And how do you all know each other?”  Seb’s father asked, pointing between all of us.  I wouldn’t say his tone was accusatory, but it came across harsher than maybe he intended.  I’m sure Cam attending a different school has him confused, and perhaps nervous considering how his son was treated there.  I’m sure his immediate concern is the Widmer drama following Seb to public school.

“Cam and I do gymnastics together, sir,” Max offered.  “Ever since he moved here from Texas, anyway.”  I’m glad Max chose to leave out they’re also boyfriends.  There’s zero reason to think Seb’s parents are homophobic, but such an early revelation may have caused suspicion (or at least pause) about their motivations.

“Yeah, I moved to Minnesota almost two years ago,” Cam explained.  “I’m originally from outside of Houston, but my dad got a promotion so we came north.”

“Noah and I have been best friends since pre-school,” Max added.  “Our moms went to college together.”

“They’ve all been good friends to me,” Seb announced excitedly.  “Max is in geometry with me and Jamie, and we eat lunch with Noah and some of the other guys.  Plus Ashley.  She’s Noah’s girlfriend.”  Seb’s voice was loud and proud, which I admit I didn’t expect based on all I heard and his bookwormish appearance. 

Seb’s parents continued to look on.  Their jaws hung, almost in disbelief.  Was Seb that big of an outcast at Widmer?  Did he spend all his free time gaming on his computer?  They clearly weren’t used to seeing him around peers. 

“Well, we met Jamie of course, but I never realized your circle was so large.  And these boys — they seem so...”  His mother commented, unable to finish her thought.

Oh, so that’s it.  Not only does Seb have friends, but they don’t fit the mold they have in mind for their son’s companions: older, athletic, and in their minds — normal and probably even popular.

I decided it was time to make an assist.  “And what good group for your son to have discovered,” I announced.  “They’re all fantastic lads, Mister and Misses —”

“Marks,” Seb’s dad announced, stepping towards me, his hand outstretched.  “Kevin Marks.  This is my better half, Julie.”

“Nice to meet you.  Craig Peters,” I said, returning his squeeze.  “Noah lives next door to me.  I’ve known him since he was still in diapers.  Max too, though we’ve been spending more time together recently.  We met Cam through Max, and now all three boys are inseparable,” I explained.  “They really are great kids, all of them.  I can assure you they are the best of influences.”

I realized I might have laid it on a little thick.  What I said is mostly true, but they aren’t exactly carnally innocent, and most parents frown on sexual activity at their age. 

“Well, I’ll be,” Mrs. Marks muttered, mostly to herself.

“See mom,” Seb spoke up.  “I told you the kids at Olympia are nice.  Public school has been so much better than Widmer.”

I can tell what Seb has told them needs reinforcement.  His parents still seem unable to accept what they’re witnessing.  Jesus, did their awkward son have no real friends? 

“All three of them talk about Seb regularly — all good, of course,” I stated.  “I’m happy we’ve finally met and now I can put a face to the name I hear so often.”  I extended my hand to Seb, who shook it firmly.

Max gave me a pleading look.  I acknowledged him with my eyes.  He nodded towards Seb. 

Cam must have read his mind and spoke before I could.  “Hey Craig, is it okay if Seb comes with us to dinner?”

“Of course,” I replied, before turning to face the Marks.  “We’re just going to grab some Thai food.  If it’s okay with you, I’m glad to have him.”

“Can I?  Please?”  Seb was practically begging.  His mom looked baffled, still in disbelief.

“Of course you can,” Kevin answered.  “Your mother and I can have a nice, quiet dinner to ourselves and I’ll have leftovers for lunch.”

“Yes!”  Seb declared, running to put on his shoes.

“I’ll get my purse,” Mrs. Marks offered.

“Don’t worry dear, I’ve got my wallet,” Mr. Marks said before digging into his pocket.

“No need,” I insisted, waving them off.  “It’s my treat.”

“That’s so nice of you,” Mrs. Marks gushed. 

“I’ll have him home in a couple of hours, probably less.  I know they need to finish homework and get to sleep,” I commented.  “It’s been a while since my daughters were middle schoolers, but I remember how important bedtime still is at their age.  Otherwise, they’re impossible the next morning.”  I glanced at the boys.  “Besides, their parents would kill me if we stayed out too late on a school night.” 

Seb’s parents just nodded.  I think I sold them.  Knowing I’m also a parent, acknowledging I recognize they’re still kids in need of boundaries, and pointing out all three have involved parents was bound to help put them at ease.

***

Seb practically bounded out the door.  He was absolutely giddy with excitement.

“Not that I’m complaining, but what are you guys doing here, anyway?”  Max asked Cam and Noah.

“Craig is giving me a much-needed break from Mother,” Cam replied.  Man, his tone was dripping with annoyance.  Maybe he wasn’t feeling as positive after our talk as I hoped. 

“And I saw Cam next door and just kind of invited myself,” Noah added, laughing.

“Now, Noah.  We understand you have strong desires, but you must know you aren’t going to get lucky again tonight,” Cam teased. 

I was going to pull him aside to read him the riot act for making another crack after I told him to knock it off, but Noah immediately slugged him in the arm — hard enough Cam winced.  I can’t say he doesn’t deserve it. 

“Always the comedian,” Noah said, shaking his head.  “Maybe lay off the jokes a little with other people around?”

“Like they’d care,” Max added.  Interesting.  Max used ‘they’, not just Craig, indicating Seb wouldn’t mind, either.  Last I heard, Seb hadn’t come out or confirmed anything, so his grammar is intriguing.  Or maybe I’m over-analyzing things.

As we were about to pile into the car, Noah called shotgun.  He rode in the back on the way over and is by far the tallest.  Seb is short and might be unnerved sharing the front seat with me (considering we just met), and God knows Max and Cam are going to take an opportunity to canoodle in the back seat.  I know it’s bonus time together, but I sure hope they keep it PG for Seb’s sake.  I really don’t want to have to lecture them again about excessive PDA.

***

“Drive faster Craig, I’m starving!”  Cam bellowed from the back seat as I drove away.  He took the middle, between Seb and Max.

“Really?  I thought your snack at my house would have held you over,” Noah replied, snickering.  My initial thought was confusion.  Why would Cam have eaten again at Noah’s even after I made him a sandwich, and he knew we were going to dinner?  It only took me a moment to realize what they’re actually talking about.

“That little niblet?”  Cam immediately shot back.  I glanced in the mirror to see him grinning.  “Not even.”

“‘Little’?” Noah scoffed, feigning insult.  “You only wish your other snacks were as filling…  or delicious.”  Both boys cracked up.  Apparently, they made peace and decided it was okay to resume teasing.  I’m happy to see Noah initiate this time.  Still, it took me by surprise.  Considering Seb was now added into the mix, Noah was so sensitive on the drive over, and just minutes earlier slapped the shit out of Cam, I didn’t expect him to reinitiate.  Middle school mood swings are bizarre and confounding.

The adolescent psyche is intriguing.  I found myself pondering why Noah was instigating now, when he was so annoyed just minutes earlier.  Is he trying to inform Max they had a little fun without him?  I can’t imagine it was for Seb’s benefit.  Do people who aren’t boy lovers even wonder such things?  Maybe I should ask him point blank when we get a moment alone.

I assume Seb is confused, but Max sure wasn’t.  “If you guys are trying to make me jealous, forget about it.  Seb and I had a GREAT time ourselves,” he commented.  I hope he’s not alluding to anything they might have done, because that would be too much, too soon. 

“Really?”  Cam asked, surprised.  I wonder if he had the same thought. 

“Yeah!”  Seb interjected.  “We rode scooters to the park and hung out and then we played on my computers.”  The double-entendres of the past minute went right over his head. 

Seb’s seriousness squashed the sexual innuendo.  “Don’t worry babe,” I heard Cam say quietly to Max.  “Your snacks are still the best of all.”  I’m not sure Seb understood, but Noah started dry heaving in the front seat.  God, I love these boys.

***

Dinner, amongst four boys, was delightful.  Thai was new to Seb.  Apparently his mother doesn’t care for Asian food in general and tries to avoid spicy dishes.  I can see how that lands Thai off her list. 

Seb’s lack of familiarity reminded me of when I took Max here for the first time on our way to watch Billy Elliot.  Just like Max, he was totally lost as to what he should order.  We started with some chicken satay skewers.  I suggested Seb stick with pad thai, and he chose shrimp over chicken, but we all shared some of our plates, so he got to sample some curry and phad grapow.  You could tell by his reaction that he loved it all.

“I had no idea food could taste this… interesting,” he declared as we finished.  I get the impression most of his meals at home are bland.

Their conversation was interesting.  As I suspected, Seb is astute and has a sharp wit.  He also soaked up the camaraderie and positive peer interactions.  It was nice to see, but also made me sad because it’s obviously novel for him.  He seems like a nice boy, so it’s a shame if he’s never had friends who could see this side of him. 

The topic of Seb taking the bus came up again.  His mom has always driven him, as Widmer didn’t have bus service.  Seb said he’s told her several times that he could ride to Olympia, but she insists on being his chauffeur.

“She tries to make it out like it’s something nice she likes to do for me,” he said.  “But I know it's really because she’s afraid I’ll get picked on.  I heard her and dad talking one night when they thought I was asleep.  Dad says the bus was brutal when he was in school.”

“Maybe high school is worse, but to be honest, our bus is pretty tame,” Noah explained.  “Our driver is pretty chill, so nobody wants to make his life difficult.  Most people just play on their phones or listen to music or even do homework.  Besides, if you sit with me, I guarantee nobody will give you trouble.”

“I guess after punching Brady, nobody messes with Noah!” Seb fawned excitedly.  His voice practically squeaked.  “It was so freaking awesome when you put him on his butt.  I wish that happened to more bullies.”  He’s definitely less masculine than the other boys.  It isn’t like he’s flaming or flouncy, but he does set off my gaydar slightly, whereas Max and Cam never have.

“I’m just not sure my parents will agree.  They are so overprotective after this summer,” Seb continued.  I knew what he was referring to, as did the boys, but I was still surprised he mentioned it so casually.  He has no reason to assume I’m aware of his personal business.

“Why don’t you let ME ask them?” Noah suggested.  “If they are anxious about it, your mom can drive you to my house and you can wait with me at my bus stop.”

“Yeah,” Max chimed in.  “I can help convince them, too.  I’ve ridden Noah’s bus several times.  Nothing ever happens.”

“Really?  That would be great,” Seb replied, grinning as he patted Noah’s arm and leaned into Max.

I’m not sure if it’s because he’s so happy and at ease or what, but I couldn’t help but notice how affectionate he is, with Max in particular.  It isn’t odd for middle schoolers to touch each other and not even realize it, but I had the distinct feeling he’d cuddle right up against Max if he could.  To his credit, Max seems to eat up the attention. 

At one point, I noticed Cam observing their interactions.  I wasn’t sure how he would feel about Seb being so demonstrative with Max, but Cam just smiled.  It’s nice he doesn’t view the poor kid with resentment or jealousy.

It’s interesting how kind and inclusive they all are toward Seb, who assume under normal circumstances isn’t someone they’d typically associate with (if only because he’s in a younger grade and initially presents as a total wallflower).  It’s almost like he’s the little brother none of them have ever had, and they’re determined to keep him safe and happy. 

I just hope — once the novelty wears off — they don’t coalesce around their core friendships and leave him behind.  I know they would never be cruel, but they are busy, and it’s apparent how needy Seb is for social interaction.  It would hurt him deeply if he were to be discarded like a used toy that’s lost its initial luster.  I made a mental note to discuss it with Max.

***

Stacy texted me as we were leaving.  “I have a big favor to ask,” it read.  I told her I would come inside when I dropped Max at home.

Our first stop was Cam’s.  I was a little surprised when Max asked if he could go inside, but of course I agreed.  A minute turned into more like five. 

Noah probed Seb while they were gone.  “So, what did you and Max really do after school?”  He asked.  Max’s quip about him and Seb having ‘fun’ must still be on his mind.  Is he trying to compare notes?

“We just went to the park and talked about…  things,” Seb began.  His pause was interesting, like he almost let something slip but caught himself.  “Max asked to see my room so I showed him my computer setup.  That’s it.  Then you guys showed up.”

I’m not sure what Noah expected.  Even if they had done something sexual, Seb wasn’t going to blurt that out in front of me.  Maybe he lost sight of the fact that not everyone shares those things with adults.  Even with me, it takes a little time for my boy charms to kick in.

Max eventually emerged and looked baffled. 

“Huh,” he said, buckling up.

“‘Huh’ what?” I asked.  “Everything okay?”

“Yeah.  It’s just Mrs. Rice invited me to go shopping with her and Cam this weekend.  She’s trying REALLY hard to get back in Cam’s good graces.”

“Yeah, but is it working?” I asked, recalling my conversation earlier with Cam.

“I’m not sure yet,” he said.  “She was pleasant and friendly, and when he hugged me goodbye she didn’t scoff or try to rush us or anything.” 

“That sounds positive.  Maybe she really is trying to be more accepting,” I suggested.  I sure hope so, for Cam’s sake. 

***

When we arrived at Seb’s house, we all exited the vehicle.  I wasn’t planning on going in to say goodnight, but had a weird calf cramp and wanted to walk it off.

“Thanks for dinner and letting me tag along, Mr. Peters,” Seb said, giving me a hug.  I wasn’t expecting that!  “I can’t remember the last time I had so much fun.”

“Of course.  Any friend of Max, Noah, or Cam’s is always welcome.  If they all approve, you have to be worth getting to know,” I replied, returning his squeeze quickly.  For all I knew, Seb’s parents were watching from inside and his affection toward me, some random man they’ve known for less than two hours, would set off their paranoia.  “You can call me Craig, by the way.”

Noah and Max went inside with him, to plead Seb’s case for allowing him to ride the bus to school, just as they rehearsed at dinner.  I wasn’t convinced their efforts would be effective, since his parents literally just met them, but I also know how persuasive and charming they are.

They quickly returned to confirm operational success.  “I’m really proud of you guys,” I told them.  “You are really going the extra mile to build up Seb.”

“It’s no problem,” Noah affirmed.  “He really is a good guy.  He deserves a boost after his shitty summer.”

“Yeah, what are friends for?”  Max added, as if it were the most natural thing he could do.

They really are damn good boys, and despite whatever Seb’s been through, the silver lining of such a stressful situation is that he’s become friends with Noah and Max.

***

Rather than backtracking, Noah offered to walk the few blocks home so I could talk to Stacy. 

When we walked in, she was pacing around the kitchen.

“What’s new?”  I asked as Max enthusiastically greeted her with a big hug.

“The day from hell at work,” she declared, groaning.  “It just keeps snowballing.”

“I could tell it was bad,” I answered.  “I wasn’t sure you’d be home yet.”

“I’m fried and had to leave it for now.  Tomorrow they want Barb and I to fly to Denver to get things in order.  I can get Max to school, but can you make sure he gets to practice?  I am pretty sure we can catch the late flight back, but if not, Craig — can you and Kim be on standby?  I hate to even ask, and I know Adam and Lisa will take him, but Max always enjoys staying with you.”

“Relax, it’s fine.  We’re always happy to have him,” I declared, ruffling Max’s hair for effect.  He beamed and leaned in for a side hug.  There’s my sweet boy.  “Why don’t I just get Max after school?  We’ll plan on him staying overnight.  That way, you don’t have to stress about it no matter when you get home.”

“Oh Craig, you’re the best,” she said, smiling.  “I was so worried it would be too much.”

“Not at all,” I assured her.  “Max is never a burden.  Besides, Kim and I both like having a kid in the house to dote on.”

“Hey,” Max interjected.  “Why don’t I just get some things now and stay with Craig tonight?  One less thing for you to worry about in the morning.  I can tell you’re stressed.”

“Honey, we don’t want to impose,” Stacy said.  “People need notice before having house guests.”

“Honestly, it’s fine.  Max is family, and his room is already set up since Cam was supposed to stay with us while Bob traveled this week, before his mother came home,” I answered.  “Seriously, Max has an open invitation.  Please don’t think anything of it.”  I was disappointed when Jeanine’s return ruined my boy time with Cam.  Getting Max for a night or two is redemption. 

“Cool.  I can even ride the bus with Noah and Seb too,” he added, clearly excited. 

***

As Max went to his room to pack, Stacy went to her purse and handed me a $100 bill.

“You have to be kidding,” I replied, refusing her offer.

“Hey, I know how much he’s eating these days, and gas adds up.”

I shook my head.  “Not that much, and I'm really not worried about it.”

She continued to hold the cash.  “Then have a date night with Kim this weekend, on me, as a thank you.”

I wasn’t sure she’d take no as an answer, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to accept compensation for spending time with my boy.  Besides, while Stacy has a decent job, she’s still a single parent.  I’m not taking her money.

“I’ll tell you what: at some point when work slows down, we’ll all go out.  Who knows, maybe we can go on a big group date with the boys.  Even Noah has a girl now,” I suggested.  “You can even bring the lumberjack Max tells me you’ve been seeing.”

Stacy snorted but put the bill back in her wallet just as Max came with his backpack over one shoulder and a duffel bag on the other.

“That was quick.  Do you have a go-bag ready or something?”  Stacy joked. 

“No, I’m just not a girl.  I don’t overpack like some people,” Max teased, grinning.

Stacy rolled her eyes.  “Hey, use that smart mouth for good and give me a kiss goodbye.”

Max dropped his bags and ambled toward her.  “Be a good boy for Craig and Kim.  I love you.  Don’t forget to brush your teeth.”  She’s such a mom, but I totally get how she must feel leaving Max.

“Hey!  I’m always well-behaved, and Craig is even stricter than you about hygiene stuff.  He makes me brush for two minutes,” Max explained.  “I love you too.  Don’t act like a Karen on the plane.”

Stacy gave Max a playful swat as he walked away.  That was new.  “You’re turning into such a smartass.  Craig, if you need to whoop his butt, I get it,” she said, laughing. 

Max rolled his eyes and pretended to shield his backside.  “I know better than to give him reason again.  It hurt too much the last time,” he said, laughing.

Oh shit, did Max really just say that out loud?  I thought he wanted to keep things private and agreed not to tell her when that happened a few weeks ago.

Stacy’s smile disappeared and she looked confused.  “What?”

Max and I exchanged looks.  I expected him to be panic-stricken like I was feeling, but he seemed unfazed.

“It only happened once,” Max quickly explained.  “The Monday after the SNO when I was being so rude to you and wouldn’t listen.”

“I’m sorry Stacy,” I said quietly, unable to read her expression.  “I told Max you deserved to know, but he insisted on keeping it between us.  It wasn’t my proudest moment.”

“I was embarrassed and begged him not to tell you,” Max added sheepishly.  “And I deserved it because I was really disrespectful to both of you.  Noah got spanked later that week by his dad, too.  But we both learned our lessons.”

Stacy looked shocked, but not angry.  “Lisa told me about Noah.  There must have been something in the water that week addling eighth grade brains,” she said, smiling.  “I’ve never been able to bring myself to do it, but I’ve always believed it takes a village, so if Craig of all people thought a spanking was warranted, then you must have really lost your mind.”

“Yes ma’am,” Max answered solemnly.  “I was mad about it for about a minute, but…” he added, ending with a heavy sigh.

“What is it, honey?”  Stacy asked, concerned. 

“I dunno…  it’s just, Craig cares more about me than Rick ever did.  He didn’t spank me because he hates me and he wasn’t trying to be mean.  He did it because he loves me and wants me to become a good man — like him.”  

Damn, out of the mouths of babes.  I put my hand on his shoulder, which he patted and pulled down on.

“Well, as far as I’m concerned, you have carte blanche to discipline Max as you see fit.  Frankly, I appreciate any help I can get, and you’ve been such a positive influence on him I’m not about to question your methods,” she began.  “He’s a great kid and almost never gets into trouble, but if he earns a consequence, I trust you to handle it.  If you decide corporal punishment is justified, I’m not going to second guess you.  Please just don’t use a belt or anything like that and let me know so I can reinforce whatever lesson you’re teaching.  A unified front is important.”

Well, that went way better than I ever envisioned.  I nodded.  “Of course.  I really don’t anticipate it will ever happen again,” I replied.  “Will it, Max?”

“No, sir.  I promise,” he responded, looking up at me with adulation.  It felt like a moment to kiss the top of his head, but I decided to defer that impulse because I didn’t want to push my luck with his very understanding mother.  Instead, I looked down into those deep blue pools, smiled, and nodded subtly toward Stacy.  Max got the message and ambled back toward her to give another quick hug. 

“I love you baby,” Stacy said, squeezing him tight.  “Make good choices.”

***

As we walked to the car, I sent Kim a text explaining the situation.  She won’t care Max is staying with us, but deserves better than a house guest showing up with zero warning.

“What was that?”  I asked as we pulled out of the driveway.  “I didn’t think you wanted her to know.”

Max shrugged.  “I dunno, we were joking and it just kind of came out.  I didn’t think she’d care.”

“I’m relieved she didn’t react badly,” I said.  I knew I needed to follow up with her later, without Max being present.  “But that worries me a little bit.  You didn’t think Cam would care about us in Mexico, and he did.  If something about that slipped out…”

Max looked panicked.  “It won’t!”  He said.  “I’m sorry.  I messed up again, didn’t I?”

I patted his leg reassuringly.  “It’s okay.  I’m not upset, and it’s probably better that she knows, I was just surprised you spit it out like that after being so adamant about not telling her,” I answered.  It wasn’t lost on me he was also insistent he’d never change his mind about Mexico.  It still worries me his perspective could shift, or he might impulsively say something offhand.  The thought made me cringe.

“I guess that didn’t work out so well for me,” he said, laughing.  “She gave you standing permission.  I thought I had basically aged out of the whooping window.  Noah did, too, and look where that got him.”

While Max was deflecting with humor, it really wasn’t funny to me.  “I meant what I said: I don’t ever intend to spank you again,” I replied.  It isn’t like I enjoyed doing it.  Frankly, I don’t know how some parents use it as their go-to discipline method.  “But I also expect you to hold up your end of the bargain and never give me reason to, either.  So please don’t, uh, force my hand.  No pun intended.”

“I won’t!  It’s not like I want it to happen again.”

The way he said it made it seem like he was holding something back.  “But?”

Max didn’t respond right away, and seemed unsure whether to share. 

“I dunno.  It’s weird, but I’m kinda glad mom said what she did.  It’s like she accepts you’re my dad, too…  and that makes me happy.”

“That makes me happy, too,” I replied.

“I mean of course I don’t want to get in trouble or let you down, because disappointing you is the worst, but…” Max trailed off, pausing again.  “It’s like, even if you did have to do it again, I would be mad at myself, not you, because I know you’d have to be super pissed to get to that point — which would mean I was being really bad.  If you do punish me, it shows that you love me and view me as your kid.”

My heart swelled and hurt simultaneously.  Poor Max is so confused about fatherly bonds.  It worries me that he associates the punitive with love and affection, even though I understand what he’s saying about feeling accepted and cared for.  He’s stipulating his complete trust in me.  God, Mexico really was a mistake, wasn’t it?  Or, could it be the fleeting romantic component of our relationship solidified our bond into something unique and unbreakable?

I reached across the console and took his hand.  “Bud, you’re like the son I never had.  But don’t think you ever need to act out to be reminded of that.  You’re my boy, and I’ll love you even if you do dumb stuff and get in trouble.  And you will, because that’s part of being human and growing up,” I reiterated.  “Honestly though, you’re usually so well behaved I’m not worried about it.  We’ll deal with it as it comes.”

Max squeezed my hand, but didn’t respond.  There really wasn’t much else to say.

***

Kim smothered Max with affection as soon as we walked in the door.  It’s such a relief that she enjoys Max’s company as much as I do (well, almost as much).  It would be awkward and hard to explain if she were annoyed by his presence.

Max immediately settled into ‘his room’ before returning to scrounge for something sweet.  He found some Oreo ice cream in the freezer, which Kim insisted on scooping for him.  I think having a boy in the house makes her nostalgic for mothering, even if it felt like a chore or indulgent with our girls.  Or perhaps it’s more grandmotherly; she finally has a kid to spoil.  She’d probably smack me if I ever suggested such a thing. 

Max, who has really leaned into good manners since he and Cam got serious, put his bowl directly into the dishwasher.  He announced he was off to brush his teeth and get to bed, stopping briefly to give Kim a goodnight hug.  While embraced, Max gave me a look.  It was brief, but I knew what he wanted. 

“I’ll be up in a few minutes to tuck you in,” I said.  He grinned and bounded up the stairs.

***

Max’s door was ajar, with a glimmer of light shining into the hall.  I lightly tapped on the threshold to announce my presence.  “Ready for bed?”  I asked.  The clock on the nightstand flashed 9:43.

“Yes sir,” Max answered.  He was sitting on the edge of the bed in just his underwear, plugging his phone into the charger before climbing under the covers.  I sat next to him.  “Hug?”  Max asked, raising his arms to me.  I’m digging how huggy he’s been lately, and not just with me.

I noticed for the first time the beginnings of faint armpit hair.  It's short and sparse, and probably not noticeable without my glasses, but definitely there.  My boy is growing up.  It won’t be long before his voice begins to change.  I might cry when I no longer get to hear his sweet, high-pitch.  I know that’s pathetic, but also probably true.

 “I’m glad Mom let me come tonight.”

“Me too.  Now you can ride the bus in the morning.  Did you tell Seb, or are you letting it be a surprise?”

“I haven’t.  I was going to, but forgot.  I did text Noah though, so he will wait for me.  I like the idea of surprising Seb, though.”

“Yeah.  He seems like a nice kid.”

“He’s funny, in a weird, quiet way.  It’s hard to explain, but I just really like being around him, helping him and stuff.”  I definitely understood that sentiment.  I hope, for his sake, he isn’t developing into a bl himself.

“I get it.  I noticed sometimes things go over his head.  He is still pretty naive, I think.”

“Only sometimes.  He’s not THAT clueless,” Max answered.

“Oh?”  I pressed.  How would he know so confidently?  “You two didn’t…”

“No!  Honest, we just talked.  He filled me in about stuff.”

“Anything you want to share?  Or is it a secret?”

Max grinned.  “Craig, it’s kind of stupid at this point to not share things with you.  I like telling you about everything in my life and besides, I trust you.”

Damn, this boy knows just what to say to make me feel good.  “Thanks.  I’m glad.  So, what did he tell you?”

“A lot,” Max responded… coyly?  Is he trying to build suspense and get me to ask, or is he just oblivious to his non-response?

“Well, perhaps it should wait until we have more time,” I suggested, calling his bluff.

“No, it’s fine.  I’ll give you the short version.”

Max proceeded to tell me how elusive and odd Seb acted all week.  I guess Seb had a sleepover with another of Max’s friends, Jamie, who apparently has a crush on him.

“Jamie always seemed straight, but as soon as he met Seb it was like a switch was flipped.  Then after I came out at the SNO, he knew he could tell me.  Not that he was very subtle,” Max laughed.  I vaguely recalled him mentioning that when Seb first appeared at Olympia.

I guess at a sleepover, Seb and Jamie started doing what boys of a certain age do and Seb flipped out and has been avoiding them all week.  Max finally tracked him down at lunch, which is what led to them hanging out after school. 

Seb also confided details about his teacher at Widmer, who was caught touching him.  Apparently, Seb didn’t mind what the teacher was doing, and even started to initiate it himself.  That is, until a janitor walked in on them, which is when everything changed.  The authorities and his parents, especially his father, are pressuring him to testify, but Seb has refused to cooperate.  He doesn’t want to get his teacher in more trouble. 

The parallels to Max and I in Mexico were unmistakable.  Actually, what Max and I did is far more scandalous.  And knowing what the teacher is going through made my hair stand up on end.  It so easily could have been my fate.  Fuck, it still could be. 

“Even says the teacher is his friend and he misses him,” Max said.  “I guess it makes sense; he also told me he’s gay and is attracted to both men and other boys.”

“I see,” I said.  “I suppose you understood his situation, huh?”

“Yes.  I even told him so,” he answered. 

I was alarmed.  He cannot be loose-lipped about us.  “I hope you didn’t say too much,” I replied with concern.

“Don’t worry.  I didn’t mention you.  I told him I had a couple hookups on Grindr — one good, one awful.  But I told him I understood because I wouldn’t want the first guy to get in trouble, because he was, um… nice and we had a lot of fun together,” Max answered.  He reached from under the covers to squeeze my hand.

“Make sure that’s all you share, please.”

“Uh huh.  No one else needs to know,” he answered.  “I just wanted him to understand he isn’t alone or crazy in his feelings.  He’s been really down and lonely, like no one understands.  He even said he thought about hurting himself but felt better after talking than he had in a long time.” 

Poor kid.  Maybe it isn’t the actual romantic dynamic between man and lad that is itself harmful, but the harsh fallout and scandal for the boy if it’s ever discovered.  Could that make it unethical, even if the relationship itself is neutral or positive in its effect?

This seemed like a good opportunity to segue.  “I’m glad we are talking about Seb.”

“Why?”

“I just hope you guys are careful with him.  He seems vulnerable and desperate for social affirmation,” I stated.  “I know he’s funny now, but will the novelty of a seventh grader who looks up to you wear off after a few more weeks?  I worry he won’t handle it well if you guys suddenly decide he isn’t entertaining anymore.”

Max’s face contorted.  “Why would we do that?  Seb’s cool.”

“I’m not saying you would, but sometimes the initial excitement of new relationships wanes.  That’s totally normal, but I think he’ll be especially sensitive to it, especially if he is already depressed,” I cautioned.  “Just tread lightly.  I know you would never be mean intentionally, but you might still do little things that will affect him more than you realize.  It won’t take much rejection, even subtle, to upset him.  He needs friends for the long haul.”  That seemed especially true if Seb was adamant his teacher is his ‘friend.’

“I know, that’s why we all like doing things with him.”  Max sounded almost defensive, like he was incredulous I was suggesting such a possibility.

“Right.  But what about next year?”

“What about it?”

“Where will you, Noah, Cam, and this Jamie you’ve mentioned all be for ninth grade?”

“High school, duh.”  

“And Seb?”

“Ohhhhh,” Max said, the light bulb finally coming on. 

“Right.  He’ll still be at Olympia and suddenly those who made his adjustment bearable will be gone.  Do you know if he’s making friends in his own grade?”

“When I tracked him down in the library during lunch, he said he wasn’t making any friends in his own grade and that was part of why he was avoiding us,” Max shared, shrugging.  “I thought that was just part of his lame excuse, since he lied about geometry being hard for him too, but maybe it’s true.”

“Well, you should ask, and encourage him.  Do you know any other seventh graders?”

“Not well.  There’s Spencer, but he’s only in sixth.  And he might be too much for Seb,” he said laughing.  “He’s a total perv.”

“I see,” I answered.  “I’m glad you guys are filling a void for him.  But I fear all the time he spends with you might be keeping him from making other friends in his own grade.  Just keep that in mind, okay?”

“Sure,” Max agreed.  He paused, like he was holding back.

“What is it?”  I can read Max well enough by now to know when he’s withholding.

“I just had a thought, but it seems arrogant.”  He shook his head slightly.

“I don’t judge,” I encouraged.

“It’s just, at school Mr. Tim has told me I hold a lot of sway and can be a good role model for other gay kids and stuff,” Max explained, shrugging.  “I’ve never thought of myself like that, but he’s brought it up several times.  Mrs. Hickman even commented about it.”

Despite some of the harassment, I can see how Max — with his model looks, athletic body, charisma, and kindness — would be well-regarded at school.  I know he’s far from perfect and has his vulnerabilities and insecurities like anyone else, but to middle schoolers, it probably seems like Max won the lottery.  Minus the whole gay thing of course, but even that isn’t the cross to bear it used to be. 

I nodded.  “And adults recognizing that, even if you’ve been oblivious to it, is making you worry you’ll act full of yourself?”  I asked.  “I’ve never thought you were cocky.  We wouldn’t get along well if you were.”

“No, it isn’t that.  I just had an idea.”

“Such as?”  Why is he dancing around this?

“I wonder, if what Mr. Tim says is true — I think he used the term ‘social currency’ — maybe I should go to the seventh-grade hall and show people in Seb’s grade he has eighth grade friends?  Maybe even one who is, you know, popular.”  He said ‘popular’ like it confounds and embarrasses him.  “When I was his age, I remember how rude and mean so many of the eighth graders were, but the nicer ones were respected.  Maybe it would help him make friends?”

First, it’s adorable Max says ‘when I was his age’ like his seventh-grade experience was more than a few months ago.  Second, it’s utterly charming how genuinely modest and uncomfortable with the idea of his own popularity Max is.  It’s refreshing, to see it hasn’t gone to his head and he wants to use his burgeoning influence to help others.  He really is maturing nicely.  It makes my heart swell to see what a good boy he is — and what a good man he’s becoming. 

“I know most middle schools try to keep the grades segregated, so as long as you wouldn’t get in trouble for loitering where you aren’t supposed to — that’s actually a pretty good idea,” I stipulated.  I was kind of disappointed it hadn’t occurred to me to suggest.  “It might give him a boost of confidence and make people give him a chance.  They’ll wonder why several older kids are his friends.”

Max smiled.  “I bet Noah and Jamie and Ashley would help, too.”

“They probably would, but if you have a whole entourage and make a big production out of it, you’re way more likely to get caught being where you aren’t supposed to,” I cautioned.  “Of course, maybe that would be more effective if you’re trying to make an impression and cause a buzz.”

“I bet Mr. Tim would look the other way if we aren’t annoying about it.  I think he’s been keeping an eye on Seb, too.”

Yes, I’m sure he has.  Tim seems very in tune with boys in need of emotional support.

“Just don’t get detention.  I’d hate to have to ground you,” I teased.  Max rolled his eyes.

“I won’t.  Mr. Tim wants me to be an office aide next semester, like Liam, and they can’t get into any trouble or they can lose their position.”

“I bet you’d be good at that.”

“Yeah it sounds fun, and I like hanging with Mr. Tim.  He’s like my School Craig, except he can’t cuddle with me.”

I grinned.  Max patted the open side of the queen-sized bed, motioning me to move parallel with him.  He immediately leaned his head onto my chest.  I swear to God I could die and not be more content.

Neither of us said anything for a couple of minutes.  Then Max groaned, and I noticed why:  the blanket was tented.  He had curled up against me and now has a boner.  For fuck’s sake, it’s like I’m being toyed with.

“Max…”

“I know!  I’m working on it,” he said, half-laughing but sounding embarrassed.  “I'm always super hard when Cam is around but we didn’t get to do anything other than hold hands and share a quick kiss in your back seat.  Plus, it just sort of comes alive at night in bed, and I didn’t have time to do it this morning or after school like I normally do.”  So Max is still jacking off three times a day.  I guess that doesn’t surprise me. 

I remember those days.  You’re always boned, from about 12-15, regardless of the circumstances.  It can be super fun, but also incredibly annoying and anxiety-inducing when inspiration strikes at an inopportune time.

“I understand, but maybe that’s a sign it’s time to say good night so you can —”

“No!  I mean, of course I will, but later.  I don’t want you to leave yet.  Please?  It’ll go down on its own in another minute or two.”

If I weren’t so worn out having been ‘on’ since this afternoon, his pleading probably would have been activating for me, which would have definitely made my lingering even more questionable.  Fortunately, my body didn’t respond and Max softened.  It’s gratifying that he enjoys and values our snuggle time to the point of deferring an apparently badly-needed orgasm. 

“See, I told you.  It just has a mind of its own and since I kept on underwear, he’s straining to come out,” Max shared, laughing, before a yawn overtook him.  It is telling he didn’t ditch his undies, since I know he sleeps nude.  That tells me he’s internalized my admonitions to be careful and respectful around Kim.

“Looks like you need to get to sleep, bud.”  I kissed the top of his head.

“Not yet.  Stay until I’m asleep.  Please?”  Max pressed his head into my chest harder.  Fuck it.  I’m not going to get to do this many more times, so I wrapped my arm tighter around him. 

Honestly, it surprises me how adamant he still is for physical contact, but I’m not complaining.  His window of willingness is surely waning, so I’ll soak up whatever I can.

***

The next thing I knew, I was groggy and blurry eyed.  Max is lightly snoring, his head still adorning my chest and his breathing shallow.  I carefully wrested my arm from underneath him.  He looks so content.

I glanced at the clock.  12:56.  Jesus! It’s been more than three hours since I came to tuck him in.  Honestly, I could have stayed all night, just watching him, but didn’t want to arouse Kim’s suspicions by sleeping with him.

Instead, I reluctantly extricated myself.  I gently rolled Max to his side before kissing his forehead and turning off the light. 

***

My alarm startled me awake.  It occurred to me, with such an active evening, Max hadn’t showered the night before as he often does, and would need extra time to get ready.  6 AM came way too damn early.  Of course, I forgot to change the coffeemaker’s brew time, so there was no caffeine waiting for me in the kitchen like normal. 

I decided to spoil Max and made him lunch.  In fact, I duplicated the sandwich I made Cam the afternoon before.  I added a couple of pieces of fruit, a cup of Greek yogurt, and some Goldfish to round out the meal.  I also snuck a handwritten note into his lunch bag.  Hopefully it will be a nice day brightener.  Or, at least make him laugh at my corniness:

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Craig is the best

Max thinks so, too 

Make good choices or you’re grounded.  Or worse lol 

I added a smiley face so he would know I wasn’t being serious.  I guess that would technically be an old-school emoticon.

Lunch prepared, I pondered breakfast.  It’s too early to actually cook much, but I can prep.  I decided on burritos.  I set out the salsa, cut up some avocado and red peppers, and browned sausage and bacon.  Add some scrambled eggs and cheddar cheese, and it would be a hearty, warm meal Max can eat at the bus stop if he needs to.

6:32.  I better rouse Max.

I must not have shut his door when I left, or he got up in the night to pee and didn’t latch it.  I flipped the light switch, which turned on the lamp to its dimmest setting.  As soon as I walked in, I caught a whiff of bleachy boy musk.  It didn’t take me long to understand why.

At some point in the night, Max’s urges got the better of him.  He had shucked the covers and was asleep with his underwear pulled down to his knees, his morning wood at full staff and a couple of wadded tissues strewn to his side.  He must have jacked off and immediately lulled back to sleep, unaware of unconcerned with the state he left himself in.  His nipples were hard as a rock, undoubtedly from the exposed skin directly under the ceiling fan.

I resisted the urge to sniff the tissues or watch him.  I gently pulled up his underwear.

“Max, it’s time to wake up.  You need to get ready for school,” I said softly, nudging his shoulder before stroking his hair.  “Come on bud, you have to get moving.”

Max stirred.  “No.  Go away,” he managed to grunt, pulling up the covers and rolling to his side.  I know he wasn’t intending to be disrespectful, and was still basically asleep, but I still decided to mess with him and see how he’d react so I deepened my tone.

“Boy, get your ass up and in that shower, and remember who you’re talking to!”

Max’s eyes shot open.  He looked alarmed at first, but must have noticed my grin, because he smiled and rubbed his eyes.

“Sorry.  I’m not a morning person,” he yawned and stretched but stayed prone.  “Can I get a good morning cuddle?”

“Max, it’s time to wake up.  I’m afraid if we do that, we’ll both fall back asleep.”  It pained me to deny his request, but it wasn’t a good idea with him boned and Kim bound to be around soon.

Max began to groan.  I couldn’t tell if it was genuine disappointment, a bid for sympathy, or to procrastinate, but I wasn’t going to get sucked in. 

“If you’re going to act like a little boy, I’ll treat you like one,” I warned. 

“God Craig, don’t be so cranky,” Max protested, and…  the cheeky bugger shook his ass at me!  “We both know you aren’t going to give me a swat.”

I considered my options.  That was true.  He’s calling my bluff.  “Maybe not, but do I have to carry you to the tub?”

“I dare you to try,” Max replied.  He splayed on the bed, making his body dead weight.  He’s being awfully impish this morning.

“No need,” I responded, immediately tickling him unmercifully.  First his tummy and chest, then right under his armpits and back.  He squealed in delight.  God, I love how his laugh sounds.

“Are you ready to follow directions?”  I asked while continuing my barrage.

It took him a moment, but I finally heard an affirmation and stopped.

“Hug hug hug!”  He sounded like such a little boy.  It’s completely disarming.

I gave him a quick squeeze, which he reciprocated, and whispered in his ear.  “Please dispose of your used tissues at your earliest convenience.”

Max, not missing a beat, gave me shit right back.  “I thought you might want to save those to smell later.  Like you did Noah’s garmuc.”

I blushed.  “I’m in recovery,” I retorted.  “Seriously though, you need to hop in the shower and take care of all this.”  I pointed to the tent under the sheet and his undies.

“Yes sir,” he responded, tossing off the covers and sitting up.  “Thanks for waking me up.  You’re way funner than Mom is.  Of course, she makes me set an alarm and then nags me if I don’t get up for it.”

Max grabbed his tissues, scratched his chest, and pulled down his underwear right in front of me.  I swear, he has to be testing me.  He peaked out the door to make sure Kim wasn’t around and bounced down the hall, his cute butt cheeks jiggling enticingly. 

They really have no idea what they do to us, just by existing.

***

I returned downstairs while Max showered, and began the eggs.  Kim came out about ten minutes later, ready for work.

“Good morning dear,” she said.  “Something smells good.  You must be spoiling Max.”

I gave her a peck on the cheek.  “Guilty.”

“I was going to make French toast, but you beat me to it.”  See, she gets it.

“I was inspired.  He’s taking the bus with Noah and they convinced Seb’s parents to let him ride for the first time this morning, so I wanted him to have something he could eat on the way since he needed to shower this morning.”

Kim smirked.  “Yeah, I noticed.  I ran upstairs to get something from the office and he came streaking down the hall, naked as the day he was born.  Said good morning and everything, and made no attempt to hide himself.  He seemed completely unfazed that I saw him in the buff.”  While I know she doesn’t appreciate that sight as I do, at least she doesn’t sound upset.

“Yeah, Max is pretty confident in his body and doesn’t care about nudity, but I’ve talked to him about being respectful of those around him.  I’ll remind him again,” I said, sighing.  “Stacy talked to me about it, too.  The rule at his house is he has to have on underwear, at the very least, anywhere outside of his own bedroom or bathroom.”

Kim scoffed.  “Oh, I don’t care, so don’t embarrass him.  I have younger brothers.  Greg and Jeremy ran around like that until they were older than him, so it’s nothing I haven’t seen before,” she explained.  “It just surprised me, is all.  Our girls were pretty shy after about 10, and Noah and Jackson both got more modest around 11 or 12.  I can’t believe the things kids do these days.  Max is well into puberty, so he must shave down below.  He looked as smooth as a newborn baby!”

“You should have seen when I woke him up,” I replied, laughing.  “I’ll spare you the details.”

Kim groaned.  “I remember from babysitting.  I think I’ll let you rouse him in the morning.”

“Probably a good call.  And yes, I’ve been informed by my sources that pubes are considered undesirable.  Apparently it’s ‘in’ to be smooth, which is funny because most boys are super excited when they first start growing hair.  It’s not like most kids their age are pruning for anyone else.”  That’s probably true, though not in their case.  Max and Cam obviously do it for each other.  “It sounds like a huge pain to me.” 

“I’ve heard about that trend from your daughters,” she scoffed.  “Sorry, some things a father may not want to know.”

“Right,” I concurred.  “TMI.  But suffice to say it’s not the Disco Era, is it?”

She laughed.  “No.  But I don’t think I’d want you to be bald, either.”

***

Max finally surfaced and gave us both proper good morning hugs.  He was wearing a Timberwolf jersey and Nike shorts, his hair combed through but mussed.  He needs a haircut desperately.  Maybe that’ll be on the docket for this afternoon.

He opened his lunch bag and smiled.

“You made my lunch?”

“Yep.  Breakfast burritos, too.  Here, assemble yours.”

Max beamed.  “Thanks!  You guys are the best.”

“I made enough for you to bring one to Noah and Seb, too.  Although I’m not sure if the driver allows eating on the bus, so they may have to wait.”

“Aww, that’s so thoughtful of you,” Kim replied.  I’m suddenly remembering how turned on she gets when she sees me be all fatherly and take care of the boys.

I glanced out the window and noticed Noah in his driveway.  I slid it open to summon him.

“Noah, come inside for a minute,” I yelled.

He looked perplexed, but complied.  He looked surprised to see Max.  “What are you doing here?”

I invited him to make a burrito while Max explained why he’s lodging at Chez Peters.

While they ate, I jotted a quick note for Max in case he’s given a hard time for riding a different bus, and handed it to him.  Stacy forgot to mention it last night, but texted about it after we left.

A couple minutes later, they gave goodbye or thank you hugs (I’m not sure which), chattering away as they walked to the bus stop down the block.

***

I kissed Kim goodbye and quickly cleaned up the kitchen before heading to shower.  Alone and soaped up, the image of Max’s erection greeting me flooded back.  I tried to banish the image, but it’s too late, I’m already half hard.  God help me, I’m still attracted to Max, and seeing him boned and bare assed has me aroused.  My vow to behave doesn’t mean my attractions have disappeared.

I‘m not proud of it, but what’s a guy to do?  Obviously, I had a quick tug before washing my hair.

Images of his small, smooth, pale globes bouncing out of the room filled my thoughts.  I saw flashes of his slender, bright pink butthole.  God, I want to bathe his crack with my tongue again.  There was just something about how smooth and tight his anus felt on the tip of my tongue.  The coppery flavor made my mouth water.

I pictured his slim erection poking up as he slept.  I remember how natural it felt in my mouth as I gently suckled it.  My senses were heightened.  It was like his thin cum was again coating my throat. 

Man, those imminently suckable and totally hard little nipples were begging for attention this morning.  They’re about dime sized.  I remember how he’d grunt as I flicked and rubbed them.  “Fuck yeah,” he’d almost whisper before pushing my face harder into his chest.

I was suddenly back in Mexico, hearing his moans of pleasure as we made love.  I could smell the sweetness of his scent, taste his flesh, and hear his intoxicating, saccharine voice begging me to forego the condom our final morning.

So I did, and my DNA dripped out of him all the way home. 

The truth is, he loved all of it — and so did I.  That isn’t to say it wasn’t a mistake or that I don’t have regrets, but it was still one of the best weeks of my life and I’d bet money Max feels the same. 

I know I should feel guilty about masturbating to him (and I do), but having done so much more, lurid thoughts now seem tame in comparison.  I’m not trying to justify being pervy, and I know I really should avoid such fantasies and recollections.  Still, considering Max would eagerly give himself back to me at any moment, confining myself to the occasional, fleeting jerkoff seems like a moral victory.

***

Bob called over lunch.  “I hear your boy is staying with you.”  The way he said that, now knowing what he does, struck me. 

“Indeed.  His mom was called away by some work crisis.  She’s in Denver,” I explained.  “That reminds me; I need to check in with her to see how it’s going.”

“Well, I’m sure you won’t mind if she’s stuck there another night or two.  I know you love spending time with Max.  I can’t say I blame you.”  

What is he suggesting?  I’ve been a little paranoid about Bob judging me since divulging the complete truth to him at the cabin.  His tone wasn’t accusatory, rather almost seemed tinged with…  jealousy?

Or, maybe I’m anxious and reading too much into what is probably an off-hand comment with no deeper meaning.  Afterall, Max is fun to be around.

“No, of course not.  I’ll get him to practice tonight.  Do you want me to take Cam, too?”

“If you don’t mind, I’m sure Jeanine would appreciate the help.  I do have another favor to ask, though.”

“Sure,” I replied.

“Assuming you have some time alone with Max, can you bring up Chad and see how he feels about helping set the trap?  It isn’t ideal, but I’m not sure we have another option.  I know it’s sensitive and you’re the best person to broach the topic.”

I sighed.  “I am.  And yes, I’ll ask, but I’m not going to try and convince him of anything.  If he demurs, it’s over.”

“Absolutely.  I get it,” he agreed.  “I need to get to my next meeting.  Cam will text you after school to confirm.”

***

Stacy called about 2:00.  She sounded exhausted and frustrated.  “Things are NOT going as planned.”

“Say no more,” I immediately responded.  “Max is covered.  Focus on getting everything straightened out.”

“Thank you.  I can’t tell you what it means to have backup right now.  I still hope to get back tomorrow night, but flight options are scarce.”

“He’s good here for as long as you need,” I reassured her.  Having Max two more nights sounds wonderful.  “Kim told me this morning she hoped he would stay longer.”  I want to reiterate it isn’t just me who likes having him around, and that it really isn’t an imposition. 

“That’s such a relief.  The director did say he’d love to take us all out for a nice dinner tomorrow as a thank you, once we get things resolved.  I’d hate to miss the chance to network with him, so flying back Saturday morning might work out best for everyone.”

“Truly, it’s fine.  Don’t stress over it,” I reassured her.

***

I checked out of the office shortly before 4:00.  When I neared home, I saw Max with Noah and Seb.  They were sitting on Noah’s driveway, talking.  Noah was spinning a basketball nonchalantly.  It’s been unseasonably warm, so I wasn’t surprised they were shirtless, but I found it interesting Seb was not.

As I approached, Max ran to greet me with a hug. 

“Hi Mr. Peters,” Seb said, waving.

“Hello Sebastian.  I’m happy to see you again,” I offered.  “How was riding the bus today?  You must be thrilled to get a little more freedom.”

“I am.  Honestly, it was kinda boring, but I still liked it,” Seb said, smiling.  “I scootered over as fast as I could after school.  Mom wasn’t sure at first, but didn’t really have a reason to say no since my homework and chores are caught up.” 

“Yeah,” Noah added, laughing.  “You scootered over too quickly.”  Max shot him a glare.

“Huh?”  Seb asked.

“He means you almost got here before we did,” Max added, nervously.  “How fast can you go on that thing, anyway?”  Seb beamed.  He seemed to take athletic Max remarking about his speed as a compliment. 

After what I interpreted as an awkward silence, Max finally announced he needed to go inside to grab a snack and get ready for practice. 

He and Noah exchanged fist bumps with Seb as he saddled up and rode toward the sidewalk.  It’s true that Max does have to go to practice relatively soon, but it wasn’t lost on me how quickly Seb left as soon as I arrived, and that Max seemed to usher him along sooner than necessary.  I’m not sure what that was all about, but I made a mental note to ask Max later. 

***

Cam texted while I was talking with the boys outside, asking when I’d arrive.  It might have seemed presumptuous or entitled if I hadn’t offered to shuttle him earlier.

Max asked for a grilled cheese and an apple before we left, so after changing, I quickly cooked him a sandwich.  I really dig the informal normalcy of just hanging out after a long day, making small talk about his day, simply enjoying each other’s company — like a father should with their son.  Of course, I also make a point to pamper.  I wouldn’t be a short order cook for many people, but I can’t help myself.  I love taking care of him. 

Those insights, of course, make me feel even worse about Mexico (and my fantasies from earlier).  I suppose the occasional wave of guilt is beneficial.  It keeps me from succumbing to temptation again. 

I considered bringing up Chad while he ate, but I didn’t want it to affect his concentration and cause him to get injured at practice.  It will be better as a bedtime discussion.  Instead, I decided to press about Noah.

“Noah seemed disappointed you were interrupted so quickly after getting home,” I stated.

Max laughed.  “Well yeah, he was horny and asked me if we could have another fuck.  I told him we didn’t have time, since I knew Seb was coming.”

“I see,” I responded.  “Probably not the best thing to do right before gymnastics, either.”

“Exactly.  I learned that the hard way with Cam.  It’s no fun leaking out of your ass when you’re on the high bars,” he answered grinning.

Jesus.  What a visual.  I just shook my head incredulously at how open and blunt he is about sex me.

“But I still wanted to help him.  I was like thirty seconds into sucking when Seb rang the doorbell,” he explained.  “We pulled up our shorts and ran to the door to greet him, but we both have blue balls now.”

I knew Max gave Noah the occasional BJ, but this made it sound like they’ve been having full-on sex.  “You said ‘another fuck’?”  I commented.  “I didn’t realize Noah was enjoying so much of his gay best friends.”

Max blushed.  He’s so brutally honest with me, I don’t think it dawned on him he was sharing more than Noah might prefer.

“Yeah, sorta.  Sometimes.  But it isn’t like we don’t also love it.  Sex is fun, especially with someone you trust and care about,” Max stated.  I can’t argue with him there.  “Please don’t tell him I told you any of this.”

“I won’t,” I replied, zipping my lips.  Though I am not sure Noah would care.  He was rather obvious in the car yesterday, wasn’t he?

“Noah begged to come over Saturday after the movie.  He was so horned up after making out with Ashley, he was about to burst.  So, he did, in me.  Twice.  It was awesome.  Like a fantasy finally coming to life.”

I sure understood that, having had it happen myself with Max.  I am aware Noah had reluctantly fucked Cam, but this seemed like a major development.  Maybe it’s telling Max chose not to tell me sooner.  He used to tell me everything, so the fact he hadn’t mentioned something so big until now makes me wonder what else he keeps close to the vest. 

Or, more likely, it wasn’t top of mind for him.  There’s been a lot happening at school the last few days.  I swear his life would make for a solid teen drama.

“Just be careful.  Noah is straight, and you emotionally cling to guys you fool around with and care about.”  It felt weird saying that, but it’s true.  Max enjoys sex, but he also develops feelings, and I don’t want him to needlessly complicate anything with his best friend.

“I know, but it’s Noah.  I crushed on him hard for a while when I was 12, and thought about him fucking me lots of times, but it’s not like I’m going to fall in love with him.”

“Okay.  But stop if you start to get feelings or it gets weird.  Got it?”

“Got it,” he agreed.  “Besides, it’s Cam’s turn anyway.”

For fuck’s sake, do they have a system for taking straight dick?

I suppose Noah’s horniness doesn’t surprise me, although I did wonder whether having a girlfriend would change things.  Ashley doesn’t seem like the type to put out — which I suppose only serves to make him even more desperate.

***

I was a few minutes early picking up Cam, but he was still ready and out the door before I had even put the car in park.  I wasn’t sure if that was a sign he was anxious to get away from his mother, or just him being his usual, punctual self.

“Hi Craig, hey babe,” Cam said as he slid into the back seat, giving Max a peck on the cheek.  “What’s up?”  I think it’s cute how Max will sit in the back seat even before we pick up his boyfriend.

“Not much,” Max answered.  I nodded.

“How did it go with Seb on the bus today?” 

“Fine,” Max answered.  “It was completely uneventful.  I think he expected it to be more exciting, but his mom will probably like to hear it wasn’t.”

“True that,” Cam replied.  “Why are moms always so extra?”

“It sounds like his mom is finally starting to chill.  She let him come over after school.  Five whole blocks away,” Max added sarcastically.  “Man, he was fast.  Noah and I barely got home and he was knocking on the door.”

“Hopefully Noah wasn’t TOO disappointed,” Cam cackled.  “What did you guys do?”

“He’ll get over it.  We just hung out and talked.”

***

It was the first practice I’ve watched in a while.  I’d forgotten how much I enjoy watching fit boys workout shirtless.  Ian and Spencer both seemed older and taller to me.  Ian had a fresh haircut — a sharp looking fade.  I couldn’t help but think how good something similar would look on Max.  But he insists on keeping things long. 

Anyway, I always thought Ian was cute, but he’s really blossomed over the summer.  He will have his pick of girls at school.  I wonder if he still plays with Spencer?  As I recall, he wasn’t really into it, but hormones and horniness tend to take over during puberty.  From the perspective such a condition induces, a hole is a hole.  Just ask Noah. 

After ogling for what was probably too long, I forced myself to get on my phone as a distraction.  As they finished, I tried to think of a way to bring up the situation with Chad tonight, but can’t think of how to do it without causing him undue stress.  I need to talk to him about it, but am concerned he will get upset.  I guess I’ll just have to roll the dice and take the direct approach.

We stopped for a quick bite at Chipotle before we dropped off Cam, who almost seemed dejected when he neared his house. 

“I wish I was staying at Craig’s too,” he muttered jealously as I pulled into their driveway.  I’d never considered having them both stay.  I imagine them sharing a bed would alarm Kim.  Stacy and Jeanine don’t see eye-to-eye on much, but I assume they’d both object to that. 

“You can come over again soon,” I promised.  Perhaps it’s arrogance on my part, but I don’t think the prospect of time with Max was the only impetus to his comment.  We genuinely enjoyed each other when he stayed with us a few weeks ago, and there’s no denying Cam and I have become much closer. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow night at practice,” Max added, rubbing his arm.  “And we're still going shopping on Saturday, right?”

“Yeah.  For sure,” Cam answered, still sounding dejected.  He offered Max a brief kiss, right on the lips, before sliding out the passenger door.  Max let go of his hand as Cam scooted out of the backseat.  Max wiped his mouth.  Their kissing must still be sloppy, which I find adorable for some reason.

***

Max immediately ran upstairs to shower when we got home.  It gave me time to catch Kim up on the day's developments.  I told her that Stacy was staying until Saturday, so we had two more nights of Max.  She was pleased.

Of course, she knows nothing of Chad.  There’s just no way I could ever bring her into the loop on that.  Plus, Max would be angry if I told anyone else.  Needless to say, I didn’t mention Noah taking Max up to his room after school.

“That reminds me, I meant to send this to you earlier,” Kim said as my phone buzzed.  “When you didn’t come to bed last night, I checked on you.  I couldn’t resist taking a picture.  It was too cute.”

She airdropped a picture of a shirtless Max, asleep on my chest.  My arm was around him while he draped his over my stomach, hugging me.  My eyes were closed, having nodded off.  He looked so serene.  Hell, so did I.  Talk about a keepsake.

I smiled but didn’t say anything.  Taken in the wrong context, it could raise alarm bells.  I doubt most boys his age would be caught dead cuddled up against their father — or any man — like that.  But then, maybe it’s more common than anyone realizes, so long as it’s in private. 

“Stacy and the girls at the office all thought it was precious, too,” Kim said, rubbing my chest.  That’s a relief.  “It’s always so sexy when a man shows what a good father he is, especially when he doesn’t know he’s being watched.”  Oh boy.  I kept a straight face.  I can probably hold her off until Max goes home.

Thankfully, and as if on cue, Max resurfaced before she became too amorous.  He was wearing just a pair of shorts, his blonde mop still wet.  Kim seemed nonplussed about him being shirtless, because she gave him a big hug and rubbed his bare back. 

“You smell much better,” she commented, stroking his hair. 

“Thanks,” he answered.  “I feel better, too.  I’m always gross after practice.  I’m just glad they didn’t kick us out of Chipotle.”  Maybe I’m biased, but I didn’t think he or Cam smelled ripe.

“I understand we get you for two more nights.  Lucky us,” she said playfully.

“Lucky me.  I love staying here,” Max responded, smiling.  “Is there anything to snack on?”  It’s amusing to me how he pivots so abruptly.  And apparently, the grilled cheese and steak burrito were insufficient.

“How about some Chips Ahoy?”  Kim offered.  “With some milk.”

“Yes please,” Max answered politely.  I love observing their interactions.  Kim enjoys mothering him, and he’s not complaining.  Max sitting at the table having cookies and milk before bed struck me as endearingly innocent and even little — especially considering that earlier in the day, he was sexually servicing the neighbor boy.  I wonder how differently Kim would look at them if she knew what they get up to. 

He put his plate and glass in the dishwasher and hugged Kim goodnight.  “Are you coming up?”  Max asked eagerly.  Like there was ever any question.  Of course I am.

As I started to stand, Kim couldn't help being a smartass.  “Shouldn’t you put on your jammies first, just in case you fall asleep again?” She asked.  I rolled my eyes but grinned.  I knew she was yanking my chain.  She knows full well that my PJ’s consist of the underwear I have on — and sometimes less.

“You know, that’s actually a pretty good idea,” I retorted.  I mean, if she’s going to encourage me to sleep in the same bed (even if only for a little while), I’m not going to argue.  She smirked as I climbed the stairs to my boy.

***

Max was sitting on the edge of the bed when I entered.  He was holding a piece of paper.  “What’s that?”  I inquired.

“I need to talk to you,” he replied.  His tone is so serious; I hope he isn’t in trouble. 

As I sat next to him, he turned the paper over so I couldn’t see what it was.  I gently wrapped my arm around his shoulder.  If something is wrong, I want him to know he can come to me and I’ll be supportive.  “Did something happen at school or something?”

“Yes and no.  Nothing like that.  It’s about this trip to Europe next summer.  I’m not sure I’ve ever mentioned it.”

“Okay,” I answered.  “What about it?  I told Lisa and Noah I’m willing to chaperone, but it hasn’t come up recently so I thought maybe it was off the table.”

“I found out this week that the cut off to sign up is Wednesday.  I didn’t realize it was so soon,” he explained.  “That is, if they can find enough adults.  You would really do it?”

“Of course,” I answered.  I hadn’t thought about it in a while, but gallivanting around Europe with Noah, Max, and a bunch of other lads almost made my heart skip a beat.

“That’s a relief,” he replied.  I could sense him relaxing.  “Mrs. Reynolds says you need to call her EARLY next week.”

“That’s not a problem.  Do you have her contact information?”

“It’s at the bottom of the form,” Max explained, pointing to an email and phone number.  He paused.  “There’s something else.”  His voice sounds so somber.

“What?”

“This,” he answered, holding up the form and pointing.  “It’s effing expensive!  Like, too expensive.  I had no idea.”  I glanced at the form.  The fees were about what I expected; $3500 for a 10-day trip.  And that’s before you factor in money for snacks, souvenirs, optional experiences, etc.

“Traveling overseas is never cheap,” I answered.  Of course, I realized part of the cost was to pay for all the chaperones.  I didn’t bother to point that out.

“I guess,” he shrugged.  “But I don’t know if Mom will let me.  Gymnastics already costs so much, especially now that we’re supposed to travel more.  I don’t want to stress her out or be ungrateful.  I’m afraid to even ask.”  I felt a surge of warmth toward him.  He’s such a good boy, worried about how this will affect his mother and not wanting to act entitled.

“Why don’t we discuss it together with her?”  Of course, I could do it myself, but learning how to have awkward conversations is part of maturity, and this is a teachable moment. 

“What do you mean?”

“Max, if this is something you really want to do, Kim and I can help cover the cost.  Chaperones go free, right?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I wouldn’t mind chipping in since I’m getting to go myself,” I said.  Honestly, I would do anything for Max, so I’d pay for all of it even if I didn’t get to go, but he doesn’t need to know that.  “Plus, it will be fun.  If we need to cover some of your cost, you can just consider it your Christmas and birthday presents.  Fair?”  

Such a trip is far more expensive than I’d ever spend on gifts, but then I’ve already taken Max to Mexico, so what am I saying?  Honestly, I’m sure I’ll still get him something, anyway — but I’d give him my left nut if he asked.

He practically leaped in my arms, wrapping his arms around me.  “Thank you so much.  If you did that, you’d never need to buy me another Christmas or birthday present ever!”

I hugged him back before gently pushing him away.  “That seems a little extreme.  You know, we like buying you gifts.  Let’s talk to your mom this weekend and we will get it all ironed out.” 

“You really are the best thing to ever happen to me,” he said, almost to himself.  I know that tone and look.  He’s about to start crying. 

“I feel the same about you, kiddo,” I replied softly, ruffling his still-damp hair.  “You’re my boy and always will be.  Right?”

“Right!”  He smiled up at me, beaming.  I kissed his forehead. 

I hated to risk ruining the moment, but now felt like the time. 

“There’s something I need to talk with you about, too.”

“Sure,” he answered happily. 

His mood was so buoyed about the school trip to Europe, I almost felt bad bringing up Chad.  But, I promised Bob I would.

I sighed.  “It’s about Chad.”

“Oh.  What is it?”  He didn’t immediately enter a funk upon hearing his name.  That’s a positive development.

I quickly explained how Bob’s private investigators hoped to lure Chad into a trap.

“Like on that show on TV — To Catch a Perv, or whatever?” Max asked.  I was surprised he knew about that, since it’s been a while since it aired.  But I guess things live on forever through streaming.

“Yeah, exactly.  Only when he’s confronted, they’re just going to scare him into realizing he could be arrested and his life destroyed if he doesn’t behave.”

“Good.  That’s better I think,” he replied.  I considered delving into why he thought that would be a better outcome.  Was it because of what he went through with his own father?  Out of concern for Brett?  Seb’s experience?  Because he doesn’t want to freak out his mom or have to cooperate with an investigation?  Despite my curiosity, I didn’t ask.

“The issue is, so far anyway, he’s not taking any of the bait,” I continued.  “So, they thought if you, or someone pretending to be you, reached out he’d reply.”

“You want me to message him?”  He asked hesitantly.  “I guess that wouldn’t be a big deal.  I wouldn’t actually have to see him, right?”

“No, not at all.  We don’t want you to actually interact with him.  You know you aren’t allowed back on Grindr until you’re 18, right?” I sharpened my tone slightly.  I don’t want him thinking this grants him permission for anything.  I don’t assume he even wants to, but just in case, he needs to understand my expectations haven’t changed.  “But, it would be helpful if we had the screen name or profile pic you used.  They can pretend to be a teenage boy, or even impersonate you, but they want to make sure it’s believable.”

Max nodded.  “Yes sir, I know.  And you saw me delete the app, but I remember the name I used.  I still have the picture I used.  It’s just me shirtless, no face.”  He grabbed his phone and scrolled through his photos, before handing it over to show me.  While Max is ripped, there’s no way a grown man couldn’t tell that was the torso of a boy.  This mfer knew what he was doing.

“There’s one more thing.  Once they engage Chad, they’re concerned he’s going to ask questions that only you will be able to answer.  They need you available just in case, otherwise their cover will be blown immediately.”

“No problem,” he answered.  I’m taken aback by how nonchalantly he’s handling this.

“Are you sure?”  I asked.  “You don’t have to.  I remember how you reacted when we saw that prick at the pizza place.”

“I’ll be fine,” he assured me.  “I’m mostly over it.  Besides, it’s the least I can do…  for Brett and any other guys he might use.  Helping might actually help me get past it even more.”

“I’m glad you feel that way,” I said, patting his leg.  I’m relieved how calmly and maturely he’s handling everything.  “You should probably get to sleep.  It’s getting late.”

“Will you stay with me a little longer?”  Max whined.  He knows the key to my heart. 

“Sure bud,” I said, nestling beside him.  He immediately curled tight against me, and placed my hand on his bare belly.  That’s new behavior.  I mean, it isn’t like I haven’t felt it before, but it’s an interesting sensation.  The warmth of his smooth, soft skin juxtaposed with the rigid firmness of his numerous but still small muscles.  “You need a haircut.  So do I.  We should go tomorrow.”

“Yeah!  I want to keep it longer on top, though.  Is that okay?”

“It’s your hair.  You can do whatever you want, but short and tight is lower maintenance and looks better, in my opinion.”  I was about to mention Ian’s sharp look, but I didn’t want him to think I was looking that closely at his friends (not that he’d be surprised).  Selfishly, I want him to go short but I’m not going to press it.  He’s old enough to decide for himself.

Max ran his hand through his hair.  “It is kind of shaggy.  Starting to annoy my neck, too.  I’m not sure why I didn’t get a cut at the beginning of summer or before school started, like I normally do.  I haven’t had a trim since like spring break.”

“They’re going to have to shear you like a sheep,” I teased.  “You don’t want to look like a damn hippie or bum.”

That threw Max into a fit of laughter.  I didn’t think it was that funny, but he seems so relaxed and content that mirth must come easily.

He thanked me again for chaperoning the trip to Europe and helping pay, if needed.  We talked for a few minutes about the things we would probably see and do in London and Paris.  Then, almost in mid sentence, he was out.  Asleep on my chest.  I really could get used to that. 

I’m so relieved he took the Chad request in stride.  I was more stressed about it than he was.  I wonder if cuddling in my arms and staying under my roof gave him confidence and contentment he may not have had otherwise. 

Despite my proclivities and the inherent drawbacks of those, I know I’m a net positive for this sweet boy.  I still have no idea how I lucked out with him coming into my life.  I’ve never believed in fate, but the confluence of our lives seems almost meant to be.  We scratch an itch for one another, filling a niche we both desperately crave.  I’m not sure either of us even realized to the extent it was missing until after everything fell into place.  It’s almost serendipitous. 

I could have slipped out and joined Kim in bed downstairs, but didn’t.  I pulled the comforter over both of us and moved in a little closer to his still body.  I mean, what if he wakes up in the middle of the night, having a nightmare about Chad?  I should be there for him, just in case… right?

*** End of Chapter 39 ***

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