Max’s Freudian Slip #43

by craigpwriter888@tutanota.com & J

Authors Notes: This long overdue chapter of Craig’s side (which is a bit overdue), mostly catches Craig up to what was already published in Max’s Awakening. As usual, Craig’s experience is different, and there are unique scenes not included in Max’s saga.

Please remember to donate to Nifty!

Chapter 43

I think Max and Cam were apprehensive about meeting Raymond for dinner, but he quickly put them at ease. Sure, he can be an intimidating hard-ass, but also has a charm about him — and, apparently, a total soft spot for kids. It didn’t hurt that he was complimentary about all of the evidence they helped collect on Chad. Of course, after Bob looked annoyed, he reiterated how inappropriate and dangerous it was.

Cam capitalized on the upbeat atmosphere to ask his father about hosting a Halloween party. I have to admit, he played it well and his timing was perfect. Everyone is in a great mood and Bob would look like a jerk-wad by saying no. Raymond even gave Bob a look that inferred he should permit it.

Reluctantly, Bob agreed. It seems early, but now I’m wondering what Cam and Max might choose for costumes. It’ll be our first Halloween together and I have to admit, I’m kind of intrigued by whether they’ll be cute, creepy, or hot. And whether they’ll do something in tandem.

It was nice having Raymond there to disclose how Chad will be donating towards Max’s future education expenses. I could have summarized, but Raymond explained it far better than I could.

Raymond also gave us some insight on why he was so willing to help. He and his wife actually raised a nephew who was disowned by his parents after coming out, his freshman year of high school. Bob was obviously unaware, but it helped illuminate why he’s been so compassionate. Funny, how things like that work out in life. 

When he told us how his nephew and his husband are happily raising two kids, Max and Cam beamed. Are they just happy for this guy or have they actually given thought to having kids of their own some day? That would seem crazy for your typical middle school relationship, but I can’t help but recognize how their relationship is uniquely mature for their age. And it isn’t just because they’re already sexually active — at this point, that’s more effect than cause.

It’s truly wonderful how normal the idea of gay parents raising children has become. I sometimes wonder what life would be like had I taken a more authentic path. In some ways I might be more satisfied, but then, I wouldn’t have either of my daughters and I do care deeply for my wife. Besides, even if I were in a homosexual relationship, it wouldn’t be with who I’d actually prefer, since that would still be illegal. And the sad reality is, even if it were socially permissible, all boys inevitably develop into men and decidedly out of my prime range of physical and emotional attraction.

There was a moment where Cam almost blew his chance to host the Halloween party. After telling us about his nephew and his family, Bob jokingly told Cam not to get any ideas, that they were way too young to start a family.

Cam laughed. “We know, but it’s still fun trying to conceive.”

I think Bob wanted to throw him across the restaurant. He had his hands on Cam’s shoulders and you could see his grip digging in. It’s no secret to Bob what the boys do, but he didn’t appreciate Cam being so boorish in public.

Raymond helped smooth over things by pointing out it was better for them to enjoy each other than to pursue men like Chad.

Once we were bidding farewell in the parking lot, I saw something I never have before: Max chiding Cam for his missteps. Usually, the roles are reversed and it’s Cam pointing out Max’s impulsive lack of decorum. Maybe all of my lectures and displeasure have started to sink in. Or, perhaps he’s just worried about losing their coup of a party. Either way, it made me laugh. There’s something fascinating about how they hold each other accountable and compete about everything. 

***

Stacy messaged Friday morning, wondering whether I’m available this afternoon.

“Why?” I inquired, worried something is amiss.

“Max is going to see his therapist,” she replied. “I was going to talk to her for a few minutes after Max finishes. I thought you might want to tag along and share your perspective. Lord knows you understand what makes him tick better than I do.”

“Sure,” I responded, feeling a bit of anxiety. I’ve never been to a shrink and have no idea what to expect. I guess a part of me is fearful she’ll see right through me. Still, it’s an honor that Stacy wants to include me.

“Oh,” she added just before we disconnected. “Would it be possible for Max to hang with you tonight? I was asked out on a date at the last minute. I feel bad, leaving him and asking you, but I honestly think there’s potential with this guy and our schedules haven’t matched up well recently.”

“Jake?” I asked, trying to recall the name of the guy she dated a few weeks ago.

“James,” she corrected. 

“The lumberjack?”

She chuckled. “He’s not really a lumberjack, but yes, Max insists he looks like one.” She sounds a mix of exasperated and amused by the reference.

“No problem,” I answered. Bonus Max time is always good. “I’ll just take him after the session. We can meet Kim somewhere for dinner.”

“Thanks Craig. You’re the best.”

***

I found Stacy waiting in the office lobby, playing on her phone. “Max has been in with Jan for about 30 minutes already. He should be finished soon.”

“Hopefully coming wasn’t too tortuous.”

“Actually, he seemed really happy today. I’m not sure why,” she answered. Of course, I know exactly why. His anxiety about Chad has dissipated. “I almost wonder if forcing him back was overkill.”

“It won’t hurt,” I answered. “He has been very disrespectful and makes rude, unnecessary comments without thinking. It wouldn’t be bad to work on those things.” The truth is, he needs to learn that isn’t acceptable. Max is probably the love of my life — in a couple different ways. But, he isn’t perfect and even I can see that.

Of course, it also isn’t lost on me helping him develop better control reduces my potential exposure. Is that selfish? 

***

When Max exited Jan’s office, he was clearly surprised to see me. I immediately received a sincere hug. Was I self-conscious that Jan (a gray-haired woman, several years my senior) was watching our display of affection? Yeah, a little. 

Stacy assured him we wouldn’t be long, but still handed him a fiver to go to the DQ in the next parking lot.

“Well, Mr. Peters,” Jan began, extending her hand, “it’s a pleasure to finally meet you. Max has told me so much.” Shit, I hope not too much. I cut the handshake short. I swear my hand is clammy.

“Same,” I managed to reply. “He didn’t fight coming back in large part because he thinks fondly of you.” Which is actually pretty high praise from someone his age.

Stacy and I took our seats on the couch, opposite Jan’s chair. “Max has had an eventful few months,” she began, glancing down at her notes. “A serious boyfriend, a trip to Mexico, coming out at home and school, a break-up, a reunion, getting bullied and sexually harassed at school. Did I miss anything?”

“No,” I laughed nervously. I’d rather she not have mentioned Mexico, but at least she listed everything going on. “Those are the highlights. His life reads like a novel,” I joked. I’m not sure if that’s the right approach to take, but it’s what I went with. Honestly, it’s reminiscent of a bad story on Nifty, but I’m not about to make that reference (not that they’d understand, anyway).

Stacy interjected. “The real ‘highlight’ is you. Jan, Craig’s been a saint. I don’t know where I would be without him.”

That knot in my stomach is growing. My awkward attempt at humor didn’t land and her convenient obsequiousness makes her compliment drown in my shame. 

“Yes, I got that message loud and clear from Max. He clearly adores you, Mr. Peters,” Jan stated plainly. “It’s actually very endearing and encouraging. He mentioned he sometimes refers to you as his dad.”

Stacy smiled. “Yes, sometimes.” 

“You don’t mind?” I wasn’t sure whether that question was directed to me or her, but I answered anyway. 

“‘Mind’? No, not at all. I never expected to grow this close to Max, but the fact is, I think of him as one of my own.” It takes me by surprise sometimes as well. I steadied my breath. “Kim too, my wife. We only had girls, and I don’t think either of us realized how much we were missing, not being boy parents.”

“That’s understandable. Max is coping very well, all in all. He has matured in so many ways since I last saw him in the spring,” she stated, her gaze returning to her notes.

“I agree. Max is a great kid,” I replied. “Well, 99% of the time.”

“Yes, he mentioned he lost his temper and said things that were hurtful. The good news is, he seems to regret his actions. I can tell he’s genuinely contrite,” Jan declared. “Some youth, even those without anger issues, just don’t care. Max is desperate not to disappoint either of you, and that’s huge. Kids his age who have already outgrown that fear usually have a much rougher mid-adolescence and young adulthood.”

“Yeah, he’s just going through some stuff,” I acknowledged. “But he still needs to learn how to control his impulses. He acts before thinking and can be vicious. Someday, it might really get him in trouble — and I’d rather he learn his lesson while he’s still young and the stakes are lower.” I felt that familiar pang of guilt about how pushing that argument also works in my favor.

“Absolutely. He definitely has things to work on, but because he values your relationship, he’s open to trying and is very open and cooperative. That isn’t the case with every child.”

“That’s nice to hear. I instinctively feel that way, but I question it when he’s screaming malicious things — even if it is very intermittent,” Stacy said. “I keep worrying his father might be finally affecting him. Or even worse, that he’s actually becoming him.”

Jan shook her head. “No, Max is fine. He’s a nice, normal boy navigating early to mid-puberty who has also been through incredible stress and trauma. He’s bound to have the occasional manifestation, but that doesn’t mean he has major issues developing,” she reassured Stacy.

I could see the tension leave Stacy’s body. Her breathing is suddenly relaxed.

“Moodiness at his age is completely normal,” Jan continued. “Honestly, it’s to be expected. He’s definitely not a little boy anymore, but he’s also nowhere near being a man. It’s an alienating time of life,” Jan added. “But he also needs consistent, frank expectations and firm discipline if he crosses the line. I think even he’d agree with that, which is always the testament of a good kid.”

We both nodded in agreement.

“Did he mention why he’s grounded?” Stacy asked.

“Said it has happened twice recently, but only explained the first incident, after the dance,” she said. “Mr. Tim and Craig coming down on him really made an impression. He even saw the utility in being spanked.” 

“Yeah, that wasn’t my finest moment,” I admitted. I could have gone without that coming up. 

“I don't usually agree with that approach, but I don’t think one time harmed him, so forgive yourself. He has.”

I could feel my face flush. This woman can read me. Fuck.

“He is a good boy. I’m relieved we all agree,” Stacy said. “I still worry about his dad’s situation affecting him.”

“I agree. He definitely has unresolved issues with his bio father, and he needs to confront those,” Jan opined. “He mentioned the letter he received a few weeks ago, and now his father’s homophobia hurt him. But he also called him a ‘prick’ and ‘asshole,’ so there’s resentment for how he was treated in general.”

Stacy winced. “I have a theory about that. Or a dark thought, anyway.”

“I can tell it’s eating at you. What is it?”

Stacy nervously tried to smooth out the creases in her blouse. “I’ve wondered if part of the reason Rick treated Max so horribly is because he wasn’t a girl,” she began. “If we had a daughter, he’d have had very easy access. Maybe he resents Max. Or even worse, he did treat Max how he did those girls and Max is just too ashamed to ever say anything.”

Damn, that is dark and took a lot out of her. You can tell it’s been bothering her for a long time. 

“Anything is possible, but that seems highly unlikely. Statistically, most chronophiliac offenders are not closely biologically related to their victims. Also, being a caregiver of a child from a very young age is often a protective factor,” Jan explained. “Most people experiencing underage attractions — and especially those who act on them and offend — have a particular type. Age, but also gender, level of physical or emotional development, even specific personality traits. So, it would be rare for him to have ever violated Max in that way.”

I feel called out — and vulnerable. I could have sworn she looked at me when she said that. Everything she said was completely accurate about my own attraction to boys.

“I have to agree. Max is honest and open, sometimes to a fault,” I began, laughing again. “But there’s no way he wouldn’t have said something at this point.”

Jan concurred. “Max has never given any indication of his father abusing him in that way, and to be frank, I don’t think he could have managed to hide it all this time from everyone.”

A chilling thought occurred to me. In some dystopian alternative universe, it isn’t inconceivable Rick (already convicted of forcible pedophilia) abused Max from a young age… and now that he’s gone, Max seeks out similar contact, or at least approval. It would explain his attraction to Chad — and me.

But no, that’s untrue. There’s no way he wouldn’t have told me. I do think he’s genuinely attracted to middle-aged men, but I also worry that’s part of his baggage.

“Yeah, but what about Grindr?” Stacy asked.

Jan pivoted toward her. “‘What about Grindr’?”

“That’s why he’s grounded, this time. He and Cam were exchanging messages with a grown man. Graphic messages, with someone who knew his age.” Stacy cringed. Hard.

“I see. Max was very open, but I could tell there was something he was holding back. I think he intentionally skipped over explaining why he’s currently in trouble.”

“Because he knows he screwed up and is embarrassed,” I interjected. “We already had that conversation, and Cam’s father was just as appalled at their inappropriateness and defiance.” I definitely need to come out strongly on this. “I don’t believe they had any intention of following through with meeting this man, but it was still alarming. And I very specifically told him to stay off of Grindr.”

Jan looked at me. I swear her eyes are boring into mine — like she can tell I’m the lurking, ticking time bomb moral panics warn against. 

“I’m glad you’re willing to have those uncomfortable but necessary conversations with him. His feelings toward his father, burgeoning sexuality, and obvious desire for male attention make him uniquely susceptible to a predator who senses his vulnerabilities and feeds his need for approval and affection.”

I’m trying very hard not to react, but I’m starting to perspire. Jan will surely notice.

“That’s one reason I'm so grateful for Craig. Max won’t talk to me about that stuff, but he listens to you,” Stacy said. “A boy needs a man to guide him, and Rick was not it.”

Jan nodded. “That’s why it’s important for Max to continue to cultivate secure attachments to positive, adult male figures in his life. Mr. Peters,” she said motioning to me, “and this Mr. Tim he brought up several times. He doesn’t consciously realize it, but Max is seeking out something he knows is missing, and we should encourage him to find appropriate outlets. Let him lean into those relationships, even if it seems somewhat juvenile.”

Whew. She’s actually encouraging Max to spend more time with me. She wouldn’t do that if she suspected me of ulterior motives. Which I don’t really have, but still feel guilt for.

“He did wet the bed recently, and has been very huggy again,” Stacy added. “He had kind of stopped that for a while and now it’s like he’s nine or 10 again. Not that I’m complaining. It’s great, but is a change. Or reversion.”

“He didn’t mention the bed wetting either, but that’s normal. Even episodic enuresis is accompanied by a lot of embarrassment and shame at this age.”

Stacy turned to me. “His increased affection started, what, six or seven weeks ago? Not long after you guys got back from Mexico.”

That pit in my stomach exploded. I really don’t want them thinking about his behavior changing being in any way related to Mexico.

“It sounds like that was a watershed experience for him,” Jan said. I winced on the inside, but focused on my breathing. “I suspect his moodiness has been caused, in part, by the stresses of navigating what sounds to be a relatively serious relationship that has developed with Cam.”

Stacy sighed. “I’m not sure how I feel about that. He’s still just a boy, and they’re taking things way too fast,” Stacy said, shifting in her seat uncomfortably. “I don’t care that he’s gay, but I’m not convinced Cam is a good influence. I don’t dislike him, but I definitely have reservations.”

I looked blankly at her. She’s never indicated any misgivings about Cam.

“What do you mean?” Jan asked.

“I’m not sure. He’s nice, well-mannered, and seems to treat Max kindly, but there’s something I just don’t trust. Maybe that’s partially because his mother is such a witch,” Stacy grumbled. “Have you ever watched reruns of that old show, Leave it to Beaver? He reminds me of this character, what’s his name?”

“Eddie Haskell?” Jan suggested.

“Yeah! He’s all nice and polite around adults, but almost too much so. Like it’s phony.”

“So, you worry Cam is manipulating everyone and negatively influencing Max?”

“I wouldn’t go that far; I’m just not convinced anyone is that polite. I worry it’s an act and Max is going to pay the price for following his lead.”

“How so?”

“This Grindr nonsense for one thing. He did it with Cam, and Cam sent a lot of messages himself and even admitted to pressuring Max. I just don’t see him doing that on his own,” Stacy asserted. “They’re still just kids. Their voices haven’t even changed and they’re talking about doing unspeakable things with men. It’s too much.”

I had to interrupt. “This is something Stacy and I don’t quite see eye-to-eye on. Of course, their behavior was inappropriate, and warranted significant consequences, but like I said earlier, having actually reviewed the messages, I’m satisfied they had no intention of actually meeting.” I paused. “And I’ve spent enough time with Cam to confidently say he’s a good seed, with a father who has a finely-tuned bullshit detector. They’re from the south, so sometimes his politeness seems out-of-place here.” 

Stacy laughed. “Yeah, I DO like his dad.”

I looked directly at Stacy. “Trust me on this: Cam is NOT someone you need to worry about. He’s much more like his father than his mother, and it’s not fair to judge Cam based on her ridiculousness. He struggles with her more than anyone,” I replied. “I’m just saying, he’s a nice boy and they genuinely care about one another. I wouldn’t endorse their relationship if I thought he was bad for Max. Frankly, neither would Bob.”

“Having open communication between the parental figures is so important,” Jan declared. It isn’t lost on me she’s lumping me into that role.

“He does seem to make Max happy. And when Max befriended this new boy at school who was molested by his teacher at Widmer, he described how Cam stood up for him when he was being bullied. That shows good character, I guess,” Stacy acknowledged. “But the idea of them being sexually active, it bugs me.” Stacy looks as if something odious is nearby.

Jan looked at me quizzically and quickly scribbled something on her pad. I doubt Max mentioned anything about Seb. For my part, just hearing Stacy say the world ‘molest’ has me grabbing the sides of my chair. I did way more than that.

“Yeah, Max broached that, your disapproval with him being sexually active. Said it caused a fight. He also alluded to, what was it?” Jan asked, trailing off to look through her notepad. “‘Fooling around’ with a boy in Mexico, which is what caused him to temporarily break up with Cam.”

Stacy looked at me confused. I believe this is the first she’s ever heard of Eduardo, Max doing anything specifically sexual, or what caused him and Cam to break up. 

Shit. This is going to suck. 

“Max begged me not to tell you. He was so embarrassed, and it caused our first argument,” I began. “It was a Mexican boy his age. He hung out with him and his brothers in the pool and stuff. One night, security caught them on the beach and homophobically berated them. It was scary for him, in addition to humiliating. Plus, he knew I was pissed.” 

I’m definitely sweating. I hate that Stacy knows I held back something so major. So much for ‘open communication between parental figures’ or whatever Jan rattled off a minute ago.

Honestly, I’m kind of surprised Max went there at all. I’ve underestimated how adept Jan is at drawing things out of him. That doesn't help my anxiety, but I suppose he needed to provide a reason for his and Cam’s break-up. Although, he refused to tell his mother why. 

“God, when I was his age, the idea of touching a penis…” Stacy said, shaking her head. “It’s bad enough he was doing stuff with one person, but two? I’m 38 and he’s having…” She stopped herself. Oh, sweet, naive Stacy, assuming his body count isn’t at least six at this point. Max has had two men and several other boys. 

Jan is unfazed. “It is young, but not unheard of. Males often experience very intense libidos from early in puberty, and familiarity with the body parts involved makes experimentation, even amongst heterosexual boys, hardly uncommon.” Jan paused to scribble something. “Of course, that doesn’t mean you have to be comfortable with or endorse anything. You do, however, need to handle it calmly.”

Stacy didn’t respond, but is definitely hanging on her every word.

“Max is at an age where he has sexually awakened. That’s uncomfortable for every parent to confront, but the reality is… sex begets more sex. Once that’s begun to happen, it isn’t likely to stop. Knowing it’s realistically attainable, and enjoyable, well, he’s going to seek it out. It’s better, if it’s going to happen, that it be with a same-aged peer than an adult he’s desperate for approval from. Like on a dating app.”

“Craig’s made a similar point. It isn’t ideal, but if it’s going to occur, it’s best if it's with another boy rather than a grown man.”

I steady myself. This is so uncomfortable. I never expected the conversation to go here. I wonder if coming was a mistake.

“Pretty much. As you saw from his reaction after the dance, he is very territorial about his relationship with Cam. If he picks up on you resisting something so important to him, it will become a major source of strife between you,” she stated calmly. “Only you can decide whether your maternal ‘reservations’ about Cam are severe enough to warrant interfering. Just be aware of the risks, because it will absolutely come at a cost.”

That seems spot on. I’m glad she’s spelling out the same thing I tried to say, in less eloquent words. Their relationship is legitimate, and whether it works out long-term or not, she will alienate her son if she insists on controlling his sex life or dismisses his very real feelings for Cam.

“Yeah, I get it. Noah’s Mom, my best friend, basically told me the same thing — that boys have one thing on their mind and will play around, and at least this way no one gets pregnant. It’s almost like she expects it,” Stacy shared. 

That’s news. I knew about Jackson doing stuff with a friend when he was younger, and apparently Adam as well in boyhood, but I doubt Lisa knows about Noah, Max, and Cam.

Or, perhaps Adam was honest with her about his own experimentations when Jackson was caught, so she really does expect Noah to do stuff and assumes with such close gay companions that it’s inevitable.

“It would not be unexpected for an openly-gay boy to seek our sexual relief amongst friends, even if it begins with mutual masturbation. In some ways, sexual contact may be best to occur predominantly within the confines of a relationship that is mutually revered.”

Damn, Jan is on a roll and gives no fucks. It is so weird, having a professional — an old lady — say this shit so matter-of-factly. I’m impressed that a woman of her age is so understanding about the sexual urges of teenage boys. She gets it. If Stacy was squirming before, she’s been given no refuge.

“Those are good points. I’m working on wrapping my head around it. I know he’s growing up,” she said with a hint of bitterness.

“And you’re doing a good job, Mom. Don’t forget that. None of this is easy, but rely on your support system and let them help, just as you have with Craig. It gives you a break and provides him with another trusted adult.”

‘Trusted adult.’ What a loaded term.

“Kim and I have talked about taking Max more regularly, like a night or two every week.”

“I’m sure he’d love that, as highly as he spoke of both of you,” Jan agreed. “But if you’re going to do it, commit to a regular schedule. Max needs consistency.”

“That sounds like a great idea, but you’re already taking him tonight for dinner because of my date. You do so much for him, for us; I don’t want to impose.”

I waved her off. “It’s no imposition. Kim enjoys Max as much as I do.” Well, almost. “He’s welcome to sleepover anytime. He’s like the son we never had — and never realized we were missing.” I reiterated my point from earlier. 

“That’s wonderful. And of course, the more time he spends supervised by adults, the less opportunity there is for sexual activity.”

If they only knew. 

Stacy nodded. I can tell she’s on board and characteristically appreciative.

“If you’re going to make it routine, really lean into it. Let him decorate and personalize ‘his’ room,” she suggested, emphasizing ‘his.’ “Empower Max through the process and he’ll internalize things. It’ll build further trust and rapport.”

Jan glanced out the window. “It looks like Max is headed back up. I’ll walk you to the lobby, but before you go, I would like to see Max at least another time or two. I don’t think he’ll need ongoing services, but I would like to work with him on some strategies to better manage his feelings and control that temper,” she prescribed. “I’ve asked him to journal, or at least log every time he gets upset. Reminding him to do this will help him take the exercise seriously, and since school has been so volatile recently, see if Mr. Tim or his guidance counselor can provide him space to reflect during school hours.”

“I’ll contact him Monday. He’s really looked out for Max with everything, so I’m sure he’ll be willing to help.”

“Excellent. The more adults Max has in his corner, the better. As the old adage goes, ‘it’s easier to develop strong children than repair broken men’.”

***

Stacy told me about her date with James, but forgot to inform Max. He thought we were all going to dinner. Even asked if he could ride with me, which I could tell Jan thought was cute.

I worried he might be angry that his mother failed to update him on her plans, but he doesn’t care. I guess he’s just as happy as I am about bonus time together. He even asked to spend the night, which Stacy and I agreed to.

I’m glad he’s so demonstrably eager. I’ve worried Jan will see right through me, but can she really assume anything bad when Max is so enthusiastic? She even referred to me as his “parent” in front of him.

***

“Well, that was awkward,” Max commented as we drove off. “I didn’t know you were coming. I didn’t even know Mom was planning to talk with Jan. Usually it’s just me.”

“Jan just wanted to hear our perspectives on how you’re doing. She thinks a lot of you.”

He’s unconvinced. “It still felt weird, knowing you guys were in there talking about me. I hope you didn’t tell her too much.” It amuses me he’s worried about me sharing too much.

“Mostly about your outbursts and being disrespectful. She did ask why you were grounded this most recent time.”

I could sense him tensing. “Shit! I thought I managed to avoid that.”

“You did, and Jan could tell you didn’t want to talk about it. We left it vague, but she knows you and Cam were playing around on an adult dating app. I assured her it was all pretend. But…”

“‘But’ what?”

I tried to remember how she phrased it. “She pointed out that your sexuality, issues with your father, and desire to connect and gain approval from men makes you… particularly susceptible to predators who would appear genuine and caring.”

It was just as chilling to repeat it as it was hearing it originally from her. I glanced over at Max. I wasn’t sure he was making the connection with how that makes me feel. 

“I guess she wouldn’t be surprised by Chad,” he said, looking down. He looked back at me, intently. “But that isn’t you.” Never mind. He read me clearly.

“Maybe not, but it still gave me pause and turned up my shame and guilt,” I mumbled. “Even if we know it’s different, no one else would ever understand. Not your mom, or Jan, or a jury of my peers.” I tried to focus on the road. “It took all my concentration to maintain composure and not react when she said that.” 

“It’s not like that with you and you know it!” he insisted. He reached over and stroked my arm. “It never was.”

I’m glad he still thinks so. I sure hope that never changes. “Thanks, but it still bothers me.”

He gripped my hand which was resting on the console. “Just stop! You’re the best thing that’s happened to me — and that includes everything we’ve done together. So, stop beating yourself up.” He didn’t say anything, but also didn’t move his hand. “It makes me kinda sad that you feel so badly about some of my favorite memories.”

For fuck’s sake, out of the mouths of babes. I feel like someone just kicked me in the balls, but I also have this overwhelming desire to comfort him. I steadied my breathing to maintain composure.

“I don’t mean to mar anything. You know how I feel, how I felt,” I said. I don’t mind discussing this, and it’s probably past due, but it’s also incredibly uncomfortable. It might be easier if Max would say it was a mistake, or that it wasn’t as great as it seemed. But no, he loved it as much as I did and still thinks of our lovemaking fondly. “Unfortunately, it’s more complicated for me. I have to be aware of optics and how society and literally everyone would react,” I added. “Like I’ve said before: you need a father more than anything, and that’s all there is to it. Those two things can’t mix.”

In a perfect world, it is within the realm of possibility that there could be crossover and no adverse effects or risk, but that just isn’t the reality we exist in.

Max’s anger flared. “That’s not fair! I don’t see why we can’t decide for ourselves to be both, like a little of this and a little of that, and create something special that’s just between us,” he shot back. 

He’s surprisingly worked up about this. Why does he seem so frustrated? We’ve talked about that never happening again so many times. Frankly, I think that heartfelt commitment is a major reason Cam (and probably Bob and Noah) have not destroyed my life or even ostracized me.

I had to pull off the road. The idea that he, apparently, expects something from me that I just can’t give, is upsetting. I would give this boy the world, just about anything… but not that. He knows it isn’t possible or appropriate, and yet, the desire is real and mutual. I have to be vigilant and put his needs before anything else.

Who knew trying to be honorable and have integrity could make you feel completely gutted?

Without warning, Max threw open the door and leaned out. He wretched and heaved. Whatever he ate for a snack is now all over the parking lot. 

It was so sudden and unexpected. “Shit! Max, are you okay?” I let the car roll forward a few feet before jamming the gear into park. I ran to his side, carefully stepping over the mix of pretzel bits and canned cheese. Crouching beside him, I stroked his hair.

“It’s really over, isn’t it?” he blurted.

I have no idea what he means and am focused on his sudden nausea. “‘Over’? What’s over?”

“Us! That.” Oh shit. He’s talking about us being intimate. Did the allusion to it upset him that much?

I'm so confused. “What? We’ve talked about this. Why are you…”

“I guess I thought, or hoped…” he blubbered. Tears are flowing.

I put my arm around him. We’ve had this talk before, but apparently it needs to be reiterated. “Yeah bud, that stuff is over. It has been since we left Mexico. It has to be, because I’m not ever willing to put at risk what we can have — what we already have. This.” I pulled him into me. “You need a dad. And I need a son, more than I ever realized. That’s what we can be — but it’s everything, right?”

He buried his face into my chest. “It just sucks we can’t have it all. Like we did. It’s not fair.”

I’m not sure why, but I actually laughed. Maybe it’s his sweet, heartfelt naïveté? Or the absurd irony of just having survived a session with Max’s therapist, only to have him unload that he still pines for a sexual relationship with me? 

“Me too baby, but that’s not how life works. I love you, and that’s why we can’t,” I said. “It’s not just the age thing, it’s because of how we love each other now. Like a father and son.”

I caressed his back and shoulder while he regained his composure. “You aren’t ever going to change your mind, huh?” he asked.

Did he really not believe me before? I’ve been clear, and consistent. Did he really think he could wait it out and I’d somehow change my mind or be enticed? 

“No. Being your dad is too important. Trust me on this?” I replied, slightly pushing him away to look him in the eye. “Do you feel up to dinner or do you just want to go home? Kim will understand if I tell her you’re sick.”

He wiped his face. “No, I’m okay. Really. I think the DQ queso I ate was old or something.”

“You’re supposed to get ice cream at DQ, you nit,” I teased.

***

As we continued on to meet Kim, Max was still curious as to what his mom and I talked about with Jan. I explained that she suggested it would be good for him to focus on his positive, adult male relationships.

“She thinks we should spend more time together?” he asked, a huge grin spread across his face.

I’m glad he’s happy, but I still sighed. This afternoon has been unsettling all around. “Yes, and please don’t point out the irony of that.”

“I won’t. I love the idea.” He really does. I don’t think anyone would ever believe otherwise.

I need something positive to focus on, rather than ruminating about my past mistakes and their ongoing ripples.

“I know we have our regular Thursday thing, but she suggested you stay over on some sort of regular schedule. I told her you’ve taken over our guest room, but you should add some personal touches and really make it your own.”

“Seriously?” he asked, perking up even more. “You don’t have to do that. You already painted it for me.” His genuine appreciation and humility are intoxicating. He’s so grateful for the little things, it’s as if his father’s treatment of him induces guilt anytime someone does something nice for him. It’s apparent he enjoys it when I spoil him, but I get the sneaking suspicion he’s simultaneously uneasy, too.

If he’s going to spend more time with us, he needs to bond further with Kim. “I was thinking Kim could take you shopping. Maybe grab a poster or new bedding or something,” I suggested. I wouldn’t mind taking my boy shopping, but frankly, she’s better at it. “Do kids still do posters? When I was your age, my walls were covered.”

Max laughed. Gah, I adore his dulcet tone, but fear it’s beginning to deepen. “Not much, but maybe we could find something not so 1970s. Like some cool lights or something.”

“Are lava lamps still ‘cool’?”

The little twerp actually started giggling. “You’re such a… Boomer,” he derided, the little shit. It noticed he chose to use his former insult as a way to now playfully mock me. “They’re okay, but LED light strips are more popular now.”

I reached over to tickle him. “I’m Gen X, smartass. If I were a Boomer, I’d beat your ass for being so insolent.”

***

Kim, predictably, made a complete fuss over Max. They haven’t spent tons of time together, but her affinity for him is authentic. Which makes things so much simpler. I’m not sure what I’d do if they didn’t get along, or worse, if she were jealous or resentful of all the time spent with him.

I may not be in love with my wife, but I do love her. She really is a fine woman. It’s just… she’s a woman.

Max excused himself to the restroom, so I filled her in about Jan thinking Max should stay over more often and personalize “his” room. She lit up and immediately started yammering about ways to decorate. As soon as Max reappeared, she informed him they’re going shopping in the morning. 

“I know a great flea market downtown. We’ll make a morning of it and have a nice lunch.”

***

Max and I ran by his place to grab a change of clothes before heading home.

Once we pulled in, he immediately wanted to go next door to say hello to Noah, which is fine with me. I need to change and relax for a few minutes before we begin the movie. Kim and I sold him at dinner on the Breakfast Club. At least Kim will watch (and enjoy) this one. She’s always had a crush on Emilio Estevez.

When Max returned, Noah was in tow. He claimed his parents told him how good the movie is, but honestly, I think he just wanted to hang out with Max, or at least get out of the house. Not that I mind, of course. Having my two favorite boys together in the same room is a great way to spend Friday night. 

As we settled in for the movie, Max curled up against me. That isn’t exactly a rare occurrence, but Max predominantly cuddles me in private. I’m not sure if it's because of the uncomfortable meeting with Jan and Stacy, or Max and I’s conversation after, but I feel more on edge than I would be if it were just the two of us. Of course, I also live for moments like this, and who knows how much longer we’ll share these platonic moments of intimacy.

Thankfully, no one seemed to care. Although Noah couldn’t resist needling us. 

“Hey Craig, maybe you can scooch to the middle. Then I could snuggle too.” His tone clearly indicated sarcasm, but I couldn’t help but sense a smidge of jealousy. 

Max reacted by glaring and throwing a pillow at him, which sent Noah into a brief fit of laughter. I wasn’t sure how to read it. Maybe Noah wasn’t joking? Is Max actually getting protective? Or, are they just being teenage goofballs? Either way, I love Max pressed against me, and I wouldn’t mind getting sandwiched between them. 

“Boys!” Kim muttered, shaking her head. I kind of wished she would have offered to canoodle with Noah. It would have been funny, to (potentially) call his bluff, but she doesn’t share my sense of humor.

Midway through the movie, Kim decided to ask Max which character he thought was the cutest. I knew he wouldn’t pick Judd Nelson’s thuggish character. Honestly, I think Kim was hoping to find common ground with Max, assuming he would agree with her on Emilio Estevez’s good looks. It is the obvious choice. Personally, I assumed he might see something in Anthony Michael Hall, the innocent and boyish option. I suppose that would be channeling me, not Kim. 

He shocked us all with his blithe response. “Well, honestly, the principal is actually kind of hot. He’s a jerk, but with a better personality, he’d be even more handsome.”

I don’t know if those are his true feelings, or if he thought Kim would agree with him. Noah laughed and rolled his eyes, but I tensed. Jesus, the last thing we need is Max admitting to the world he finds adult men not only attractive, but preferable. 

Kim caught my eye, but responded by pointing out the hottest guy in the movie was, and always will be, the jock Andrew. Mercifully, an interesting scene immediately came on and the topic was dropped.

***

Bob messaged me during the movie, wanting to know when we’re getting together to show the lads the recording of Chad’s dressing down. I was noncommittal; I need to approach Max again. He was leery about the prospects, but perhaps he’s reconsidered.

I waited until Noah went home and Max was ready for bed. We have our best conversations when I tuck him in. 

“We’ve had quite a day, huh?” I said as I pulled the blanket over his bare torso.

“Yeah, sorta. But it went okay I think. I was a little nervous going back to see Jan, but it was okay. I like her.”

“I can see why; she’s a nice lady. I was a little nervous, though,” I admitted.

He seems surprised. “You were? Why?”

“I’ve never seen a therapist before. I guess I assumed they have some ability to read minds or something. Just sitting in her office, I worried she would somehow know what I did to you in Mexico. It was bad enough having to admit to spanking you.”

It’s a little surprising considering his moment in the car earlier, but Max is in a playful, happy mood. He poked me in the side. “Puh lease,” he said emphatically. “You didn’t do anything TO me… WE did stuff together. Plus, I started it, remember — and I liked it. A lot.”

That’s all true, but no one would care about those facts if it ever comes out. “I recall. But anyway, I was worried for nothing since she thinks spending more time together is a good thing. Lucky, huh?”

“Not really, but Mom says I have to perform community service with the elderly if I want to get ungrounded.” It took me a second to realize I’m being insulted again. Max really is in a jovial mood. He delivered it completely deadpan and managed to hold his serious expression for about five seconds before busting out in a fit of giggles.

“You’re going to pay for that,” I answered, my fingers attacking his most ticklish spots.

Our battle was short lived. In perhaps a deep irony to his mockery of my age, I’m too damn old to tickle-fight for very long. I was quickly out of breath and resting on my back. Max leaned his head on my shoulder and patted my tummy.

“I love you bud,” I said as I stroked his hair. He immediately gave me another hug, which I returned. “There is something I need to confirm with you.”

“What?” 

“Bob texted. He wants to know when we’re all going to get together to review the meeting with Chad.” He didn’t say it, but I bet Cam is pestering him incessantly about holding a screening.

“Oh,” he answered, his tone changed. It definitely wasn’t on his radar. 

“I wasn’t sure where you stood. I know you said you didn’t really want to watch, but now that you’ve met Raymond and slept on it, I want to check whether you’ve changed your mind.”

“No sir,” he answered without hesitation. “I really haven’t thought about it, but I still don’t think I want to. At least not with everyone else. Maybe later, just us?”

“Totally up to you, I just want to give Bob an answer. I know Noah and Cam are eager to see me act the fool, but I understand if you’d rather not.” I’m pretty sure he’ll come around, but he should feel empowered and not pressured. 

“Thanks for understanding. Maybe while Kim and I are shopping, you guys could do that.”

I was worried he might bristle at the rest of us meeting without him, but that’s perfect. “What a great idea.”

Max seems happy with the arrangement. He pressed tighter against me and pressed his face further into me. “Can you stay?” He isn’t begging, but he did manage his helpless little boy voice that I’m a complete sucker for.

I turned off the lights and joined him back in bed. 

I stayed long enough for him to doze off (which he promptly did, with his head on my chest), before slipping out. It pains me to do so, and as grateful as I am that Max still wants to be close and sleep with me, I need to get back to Bob and keep up appearances with Kim.

On my way to our bedroom, I suggested Bob bring Cam over around 11:00. Noah will already be coming over for breakfast, so I’ll fill him in then.

***

After brushing my teeth and stripping down to my skivvies, I crawled into bed with Kim, who was reading.

“Got the boy down for the night?”

“Yep, he’s out. Asked me to stay with him until he fell asleep. It took a whole two minutes of him resting his head on my chest. He’s had a busy week.”

Kim smiled and had that look women get when their ovaries are about to explode.

“That’s adorable. And so are you, being so devoted. You’re so good with him,” she said, now twirling my chest hair. Not unlike how Max has been known to do.

“Like his therapist advised, he should be encouraged about his adult male relationships, even if it seems a little childish.”

The truth is, I’ve come to savor those moments. I would have been utterly smitten with Little Max. I cannot even imagine how endearing he was at five, or seven, or nine — or God help me, my favorite age of 11 or 12. There’s just something overwhelmingly electrifying about a boy on the cusp or entering his great change.

“He’s fine. Admittedly, we don’t have tons of experience parenting a boy, but he’s a complete sweetheart and socially adept, so I don’t think he’s emotionally delayed or anything,” she said, waving off any insinuation of juvenility. “Besides, boys mature more slowly than girls, and Max is, what, a little over five foot and maybe a hundred pounds sopping wet? He’s definitely in puberty, but our girls were his size at 10.” She paused. “I’m just saying, it doesn’t surprise me he still craves more reassurance and affection. It’s actually kind of endearing.”

Kim’s a little off. I’m pretty sure Max is probably pushing 115 pounds, maybe even 120. Muscle is heavy, but I understand how she sees him as diminutive.

I nodded. “Stacy is seeing it too, how huggy and stuff he’s become. It’s like he finally feels comfortable seeking out affection, without being judged or derided. I also think he’s trying to make up for lost time, considering his father never provided any emotional warmth.”

“I’ve always said there’s nothing sexier than a man who consoles a child and is an involved father,” she said, caressing my chest. Damn, she’s getting frisky. “And you, Craigory Peters, are a great father.”

I held her hand. “He makes it easy. He’s such a good kid. I don’t think I realized until recently how much I needed to have a son.” That’s mostly true. I always knew I wanted a boy of my own, but considering my attractions, it felt like a mixed blessing only having daughters. Having another shot, and really getting to know Max, has been a gift. 

“Yes, it’s obvious you were missing out on something important, even if you didn’t realize it. You’ve always been close with Jackson and especially Noah, but it’s different with Max. It’s undeniable,” she said sagely. “They have Adam, but Max needs you. You fill voids for each other.”

She’s right, of course. Although considering what we’ve done together, I’m not certain I appreciate that particular turn of phrase. No one can ever know about me filling Max’s void.

“I just don’t want to step on Stacy’s toes. He does have a mother, and she’s involved.”

Kim shook her head. “You aren't. Lisa says she’s super grateful for your involvement and influence, and raves about how soothing your presence is for Max,” she explained. “She’s been overwhelmed navigating boy puberty as a single mom, now compounded with him being gay. It’s reassuring to her that he has you.”

“Yeah, Stacy has said similar things to me, it’s just tricky taking on a more active role when he’s not actually mine. Thankfully, we’ve never butted heads.”

“And you won’t. You’re sensitive and know when to back off,” she reassured me. “And speaking of gay boy puberty, did you hear him during the movie? He had the hots for the asshole principal!”

Thankfully she laughed, but it’s a distressing topic for me.

I faked a chuckle. “Yeah, I guess he is attracted to some grown men as well as other boys. He’s alluded to it before.”

“I just thought his answer was funny. Max was so matter-of-fact about it, like it was patently obvious,” she said through a smirk. “And the look he gave Noah after he suggested you move to the middle cushion so he could cuddle you too, was intense. He shot daggers across the room.” 

“I just saw the pillow fly,” I lied. I noticed his glare, too, but I’m trying to minimize things. “It’s like sibling rivalry all over again.”

“Oh, for sure. Max is definitely possessive of your attention and affection. He wasn’t about to share. It was amusing, and sweet, and a little sad too.”

I know exactly what she means. “Yeah, he definitely has daddy issues. His counselor noted he has a lot of unresolved anger and resentment with Rick. That prick did a real number on him,” I fumed. Ironically, there’s no way I’d have the amazing relationship with Max I enjoy without his father being such a bastard, but God help me if I wouldn’t strangle that motherfucker if I had the chance.

“And despite it all, he’s still a really kind, happy kid. So many go the other way when they face adversity.”

“Max is the most resilient person I’ve ever known. It’s one of his great strengths, even if he doesn’t always realize it amidst the tears.”

Considering everything he’s had thrown at him, it is incredible how well (on the whole) Max navigates things. He’s far from perfect and makes his share of mistakes, but there’s no denying his grit. 

And Kim is right: a lot of people would give up and become bitter or wallow in victimhood if they had to face half the adversity Max has. It really is a privilege to watch him grow.

Kim began to reply, but a yawn came over her instead. After 27 years of marriage, we don’t need words. She gave me a peck on the cheek and rolled over to turn off the light. 

At least I get out of having to service her.

***

I was the first one up, jarred from slumber just after 6:30 by a weird dream. I went to school to pick up Max, only to find out he was in the principal’s office. Except when I opened the door, it wasn’t Mr. Johnson, it was the principal from the movie, who was enthusiastically feeding Max his cock as Max knelt before him. “Quite a talented lad you got here, Mr. Peters,” he said to me with a wink, caressing Max’s small, unblemished, perfect little backside. “You’ve taught him well. He’s so eager and horny.”

I awoke in a sweat. That was bizarre and mildly disturbing — but also erection-inducing. I’m sure it’s just my anxiety from meeting Jan melding with the film into some strange dream, but still.

I quietly slinked to the kitchen and started the coffee.

Kim joined me a little after 8:30. “We better start breakfast,” she commented. “We told Noah to be here at 9:00. I’ll do the bacon if you want to start the waffles.”

***

Noah let himself in right on time. I wasn’t sure he would actually be up and moving so early. We’ve had him over for breakfast a few Fridays lately, but he’s already ready for school. Noah doesn’t get up early on Saturday for anything. It’s a source of pride, that we rate high enough to interrupt his coveted sleep.

“Good morning,” I greeted him near the stairs. I guided him into the office.

He looks concerned. “What’s up? Am I in trouble?” 

“It’s nothing bad. Kim is taking Max shopping, and Bob is bringing Cam over to watch Chad’s meeting. I was hoping you could join us.”

“Hell yeah, I can’t wait! But seriously, Max is skipping?” 

“Yes. He says he’s not ready.”

“Oh, okay. I get it… I guess,” Noah answered, sounding as if he doesn’t understand Max’s thought process at all.

“Just hang around after breakfast, or if you go home, I can text you after they leave. I told Bob 11:00.”

“Got it. Is breakfast ready?” A true teenager; food is never far from his mind. “I’ve been looking forward to this all week.”

***

Max joined us about 15 minutes later. He seemed groggy as Kim offered him bacon to start. Noah was already working on the first batch of waffles. 

He greeted Kim with a hug which I could tell scored points with the Misses. He really does give the best hugs.

“Good morning, kiddo. We made bacon and waffles. How many pieces would you like?” She loves to mother him, and I can tell he digs it too.

“Thanks! Three please.” He’s become so polite, even when still half asleep.

“That’s weak, Max. I’ve already had five,” Noah exclaimed, his mouth half-full of waffle.

Max was surprised to see him. “What are you doing here?” 

“Remember a few weeks ago when they invited me over every Friday for a hot breakfast? They couldn’t do it yesterday, so they gave me a raincheck for today.”

“But only if he could drag his ass out of bed by nine,” I added. “The kitchen closes at 9:30, and you just barely made the cut.” I playfully smacked his butt with the newspaper I was unrolling. Yes, we still subscribe to the paper on weekends. “Hey, where’s my hug, young man? Jan says you’re supposed to emphasize your positive relationships.”

He approached me with a happy grin. As he leaned into me, I threw him over my shoulder and carried him to the refrigerator. “What kind of juice do you want?”

“Um, apple please?” he answered between giggles.

Kim didn’t appreciate our horseplay. “Hey, not in my kitchen. There’s hot grease everywhere!” She reprimanded. “Don’t mind him, Max. He’s just jealous that you prefer my cooking.”

“Think what you want, woman. I’m just glad you’re making yourself useful in the kitchen for a change,” I teased, deciding to mess with her.

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t be a chauvinist in front of the boys.”

“Yes dear,” I replied, hugging her from behind and kissing the top of her head. I figured I better do damage control. “Now boys, you know to treat women with respect. Max, you know the penalty for being rude to your mom,” I added, motioning like I was whooping him. His eyes widened but he’s still smiling. “Noah, don’t be a dumbass with Ashley.”

“Got it. Ashley doesn’t put up with any shit, anyway.”

Kim elbowed Noah as she refilled his OJ. “Watch your language.”

Noah blushed. “Sorry Kim,” he replied sheepishly, but she grinned. 

“I'm just teasing. I should be smacking Craigory for being such a corrupting influence on you two.”

“And Cam,” Max added, joining the fray. “Don’t forget about him. Cam’s manners have gotten so bad with Craigory’s poor example.” The little bugger is grinning ear to ear. I’m never forgiving Kim for exposing them to her ridiculous pet name for me.

“Keep it up, Max,” I reminded him. “I control what chores you have to do.”

Kim continued playing along. “Don’t listen to him. You come to me if he’s being unreasonable.”

“Yeah Craigory,” Max teased, sticking out his tongue. He’s practically cackling. Noah too.

That’s it! These two need a lesson. I scooped up Max and threw him over my shoulder again, marched him to the living room, and slung him onto the couch.

“Noah, come here,” I commanded. “Front and center.”

Noah came jogging. “You just wish you were strong enough to do that to me,” he boasted.

Well, I can’t let that stand. I quickly wrestled him to the ground with ease. “You’re definitely getting strong, but you have a couple years before you can take me, young man!”

Max quickly came to the aid of his friend. “But what about both of us?” he screeched. His voice cracked! First time that’s happened since Mexico. I stood up and swung him back towards the couch. He’s strong, but still so light. Maybe Kim is right and he doesn’t weigh as much as I assumed.

“Throw in Cam, and you might have a fighting chance,” I told them. “Until Bob gets involved. Then you’re all screwed.” Bob could destroy all of us.

“Yeah, that wouldn’t be fair. Bob isn’t old like you, Boomer!” Max is being a cheeky little shit, but in such a lovable way. He even has Noah losing it.

“Hey now,” Kim said, appearing at the threshold. “Craig is younger than me. Barely, but it’s to my great shame.”

I pulled Max’s shirt over his head. With him blinded, I can unleash a massive tickle attack. “Sorry Kim,” Max said as he resisted. “Craig just acts so… old.”

“Okay dear, let them go. This must be what Lisa is talking about when she says she’s ‘drowning in testosterone.’ I don’t know how she does it,” Kim groaned, shaking her head. “Max needs to eat before going shopping.”

“And put on some deodorant. Boy, you reek,” I said. It’s true. There’s definitely a distinct body odor I’ve never really noticed on him before.

Max, trying to re-engage our wrestling, pulled my nose closer to his smelly pits. The scent is not pleasant, but there’s still something primal and exhilarating about it. My senses are heightened. I could take him right here and he’d whimper joyously.

“Stop,” I whispered. I didn’t realize it, but our closeness and body contact has, er, induced a reaction down below. I don’t like that Max is staring right at it.

“Okay, okay. You win. You’re still stronger. For now,” Max admitted. He slung a pillow at my midsection. I grabbed it and conveniently covered my bulge. I really don’t need Noah or Kim seeing that I’m aroused, and thankfully Max came in for an assist.

I quickly excused myself to the restroom. “Max, please clean up the kitchen when you’re finished so Kim can get ready. Be ready to go by 10:30, and please don’t keep her waiting. Understood?”

“Yes sir,” he answered, smiling. I can tell he really enjoyed roughhousing. I can’t believe we’ve never done that before.

***

I locked myself in the master bathroom and rubbed one out. I can’t keep boning up around the boys like this, but dammit, they are just so enticing.

When I returned, Noah was gone and Max was wiping down the counters and still shirtless. The kitchen looks terrific; he’s done a great job on cleaning up. In retrospect, I should have made Noah help, too. Oh well.

I couldn’t resist one more hug while Kim was still in the shower. I approached him from behind and threw my arm over his chest, gently pulling him to me. “Looks good in here. Thank you for cleaning up.”

“No problem. I don’t mind helping,” he answered. He really doesn’t. Actually, I think he genuinely likes helping, especially when it makes him feel like part of my family. “It’s nice having a real breakfast.” 

“Yeah, Kim loves spoiling you both. She wants to be a boy mom bad,” I replied, laughing. “I know the feeling.”

“You wouldn’t be a very good mom, Craig. You’re way too hairy,” he teased. Hey, he likes my fur.

“How’s this for hairy,” I said, rubbing my cheek against his shoulder. I haven’t shaved yet, so my stubble is scratchy.

I was surprised by his reaction. I thought it might tickle, but it did way more than that. 

“You’re making me hard,” he whispered. Shit! That’s not what I was going for. 

“Sorry,” I said, backing away. It’s interesting, Max having the same reaction I often do. Sigh. And I just couldn’t resist glancing down to confirm his erection. 

“Did you see?” he asked excitedly. “I have hairs now in my armpits!” He lifted his arm and pointed out the few hairs of growth. “That's so cool. Noah has had a whole tuft for a while and even Cam has a smattering. Liam too. And they’re all younger than me. I was starting to think it wouldn’t happen.”

Okay, it’s adorable how excited he is. And he’s completely oblivious to what he does to me.

“Yeah bud, you’re growing up,” I replied, sounding sadder than intended. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. He’s been about perfect, and now everything is starting to change. “You aren’t going to shave these like, uh, everything else?”

“Nah. Pubes can get in your teeth and stuff. Pit hair is different.”

I guess he doesn’t realize some men really dig pits. I’ve never understood it, and clearly he’s not considered it. 

“Did you hear your voice crack earlier?” I asked.

“Yeah! That was cool and unexpected.” He tried to induce it again by modulating his pitch deeper, but this time his tone held steady. God he’s cute. Especially when he’s being so innocently… boyish. He doesn’t even realize how he mesmerizes me even by just being himself.

“Okay, goofball. Go get ready,” I said. I waved my hand to clear the air. “I wasn’t lying earlier when I said you stink. You need to shower.”

“Yes, sir,” he answered before running upstairs.

Ugh. A changing voice, armpit hair, BO. There’s no denying: my sweet boy is growing up, and probably only months away from exiting his prime.

Maybe it’ll be easier then?

***

Kim was slow to get ready and I was getting anxious that she and Max might still be here when Bob and Cam pulled up. I fired off a text to Bob telling him not to leave until the coast is clear.

As it turns out, they were gone by 10:35 and I was worried about nothing.

Noah showed up before I even had a chance to message him. “I saw Kim and Max leave,” he announced as he closed the front door. 

I laughed. “You must be excited to see this.”

“You know it! I fucking hate that guy.”

“Good. I think you’ll like it. Come help me make popcorn.”

Noah and I chatted as the kernels popped. “So, I hear we’re going to the hibachi place next week for your birthday. Anything special the birthday boy wants or needs?”

“You don’t have to buy me anything,” he replied. For most people, especially kids, that might just be a polite, throwaway comment. Noah means it. He’s never been big on accumulating a bunch of crap. Even as a little dude, he preferred a fun experience over some new toy, video game, or gift card.

“Do you really think Kim is going to let your birthday slide without getting you something?” I asked. Kim insists on presents for both Noah and Jackson when their birthdays roll around.

“Probably not,” he admitted. “There is one thing I could use some help with.”

“Oh? What?”

“I really want Cam and Max to spend the night. I’m sure Mom can convince Stacy, but I’m not sure if Mr. Rice will let Cam. Do you think you might be able to help?”

I grinned. “I bet I can twist Bob’s arm. You know, he’s not a total ogre.”

“Thanks. It won’t be as fun without both of them,” he replied. “And I’m not saying he’s a bad guy, just that he scares the crap out of me.”

“Uh huh,” I answered sarcastically. “I hope you three can manage to keep it down. I don’t think your mother would survive the shock.” I know from experience Max can get loud.

“Huh? Wh–” he replied, before pausing and immediately blushing. “Craigory!” he admonished. Oh Jesus, now he’s using that stupid name. 

“What? I’m serious. I’m not judging, but I’m well aware of… the things you get up to with your friends.”

Noah sighed and avoided eye contact. “I know. I don’t mean for it to happen so often, but I’m just so, so… you know.”

“I remember. Typical teenager,” I replied. It’s interesting he still feels guilt and anxiety about partaking. Not enough to stop himself, but I can certainly relate to a measure of shame after sex with Max. Still, this is a teachable moment. “It’s fine. But seriously, be respectful.”

“We will.”

“Good. I presume it’s a secret you’d prefer to keep.” He nodded. “How would Ashley feel about the things you do with Max and Cam?”

“I dunno for sure,” he shrugged. “It’s not like we’re anywhere close to doing serious stuff. We’ve only been dating a few weeks, and she’s made it super clear we aren’t doing shit beyond making out.”

“That’s good to hear,” I answered. “It seems like kids start younger all the time.” 

“Ashley isn’t like that. She likes to kiss, but she’s not letting it go beyond that.” I’m happy to notice that he didn’t seem particularly frustrated. I guess it helps if you’re getting off regularly with your friends.

“Then I can save my ‘use protection’ speech for a while yet. Though, that would be a good idea when it’s just you boys, too. It’s never too early to learn to be safe, and the longer you go bare the harder it will be to use protection.” I didn’t say it, but I know what I’m going to get Noah for his birthday: a box of condoms.

I think I’ll pick up a refill for Cam and Max too. Max tells me they don’t use them with each other, but I think they should reconsider — especially if they are expanding their circle. Besides, it’s just better hygiene. They should all be well-stocked if they are planning to fuck. I’ll figure out a way to discreetly pass them out. 

“I know. We covered it in health. It was cringey with ancient Mrs. Albertson teaching it, but we did learn a little.”

I nodded. “So, you don’t think Ashley would be disappointed to learn you’re not exactly a virgin anymore? Girls get really touchy about those kinds of things. Sex is different for them. They often have more emotions mixed up with it than a lot of guys do.”

“I was, um, kind of hoping not to tell her. But, I’m not sure she’d care. She’s joked a couple of times about me giving Max a call if I get too worked up and need some relief. Or that I’d probably have better luck with him than her.” 

“Seriously?” I’m not sure if that’s funny or mean, but I didn’t expect it. Ashley is spunky.

“Yep. The most recent time was the night Chad was at her house. We made out before everyone else arrived. She noticed I got a boner. But then all the crap with her uncle happened, and that killed off any horniness.”

“I can imagine.” Having the creep who sexually assaulted your best friend show you a recording of you jerking off, and then threatening to show your parents if you don’t have sex with them, would have that effect. It didn’t really occur to me until now, but at this point, Noah has more reason to be aggrieved by Chad than Cam.

“She’s talked about what a hot couple Max and Cam are. Plus, she mentioned being turned on by the idea of watching guys go at it.” He rolled his eyes.

“Well, some women do find gay porn erotic. It’s not universal or anything, but it does happen. So, you never know, she might ask to watch sometime,” I joked. “Or Jackson even.” I couldn’t resist tweaking him a little. It just seemed to be in order.

He looks like he swallowed a bug.

“What’s wrong with you? That’s a horrible idea!” Noah protested. He laughed so I know he didn’t take actual offense. “I doubt I could even get it up with an audience, and especially not with Jackson around.”

“You’d probably be surprised, but never do anything you’re uncomfortable with. Besides, being an exhibitionist isn’t a good thing,” I advised, looking straight at him. “You sounded a little bitter about her finding Max and Cam a ‘hot couple’.”

His eyes met mine. He can tell I discovered something he’s trying to avoid.

“What is it?” I asked. “Although, if you don’t want to talk about it, you know you don’t have to.”

He sighed. “It’s just… before Ashley realized Max is gay, she liked him. Even flirted with him at the pool over the summer.”

“I recall.” Max was out of his depth and tried to steer her toward Noah.

“I dunno. Sometimes, it still seems like she’s more attracted to him. She doesn’t flirt with him or anything, but I can tell. And it’s not like I don’t hear it constantly from different girls about how ‘hot’ or ‘sexy as fuck’ Max is and ‘how lucky’ I am to be his best friend,” Noah vented. Based on his sudden change in tone, I half-expected him to go for his shirt collar. “Is it paranoid I’ve wondered if she’s just dating me to be closer to him? And that she’d probably be more willing to do stuff if he were her boyfriend?”

Whoa. If he’s having such a ridiculous thought, he’s more insecure and burdened than I realized. Noah has alluded before about Max’s attractiveness being an obnoxious topic of conversation around him, but I didn’t realize it was an ongoing source of frustration.

“Yes. It is paranoid, because none of that is true. She wouldn’t spend time with you when he’s not around, or text with you constantly, or even freaking make out — if she didn’t like YOU,” I declared. “I get it’s probably annoying hearing that stuff, but he’s not competition or anything to be jealous of.”

It occurs to me, if Max were straight, they would be competing for girls. Honestly, for the sake of their friendship, it’s probably for the best that he’s avowedly homosexual.

“I'm not jealous!” Noah protested, a little too vociferously. “Well, not really anyway.”

“I’m just saying, it’s not abnormal to have those thoughts or to make comparisons. But you don’t have anything to be insecure about.”

Noah looked at me, his face flushed. Bingo. I patted the seat of the stool next to me at the island.

“Bud, we’ve talked about this. You aren’t ugly. You’re lucky I never tried anything with you.”

Shortly after Noah found out about Max and I, he actually asked why I never ‘molested’ him and wondered if it was because he wasn’t attractive enough. His question threw me for a loop, but I’m hoping he’ll relax after my attempt at dark humor.

He smirked. “My dick’s too big for you now, anyway.”

It’s my turn to roll my eyes. Not true. I enjoy Bob’s, and that’s still significantly larger. But… he doesn’t need to know about that.

“See, that’s one thing you have on Max. You’re more developed. Just today, after breakfast, he was all excited about getting his first armpit hair and commented that you’ve had a bunch for months,” I shared. “He’s jealous of you and is insecure about his puberty going slowly in comparison.”

Noah perked up. “Really? He’s always seemed so confident about his body.”

“Oh, he is. But he still compares, just like everyone else. And I don’t think I realized until his comment today that he’s feeling a little behind in that department.” He was so enthusiastic about his armpit hair and voice cracking, and made the comment about worrying it might not ever happen, it’s obvious he’s had concerns. I might need to circle back with him about that. 

Noah nodded. “I guess that’s true. He’s so built and gets laid so often; I’ve never really thought about it. But, he is definitely on the smaller, younger-looking side of eighth grade guys.”

“See? Everyone has stuff going on, even if it doesn't seem like it at first glance,” I said. I think he’s convinced. “I’m a purist and just like salt and butter on my popcorn, but Kim has seasonings if you want to grab them from the pantry.”

***

We had just dumped the popcorn into bowls when the doorbell rang. Noah ran to the door, greeting Cam with a fist bump, followed by a quick bro hug. I’m not sure when they saw each other last, but they’re both excited. It’s heartwarming, and I spied Bob smiling as he watched from the porch.

“We made popcorn,” I announced. “Anyone need a drink?”

“Too early for beer. Maybe after we’re done,” Bob answered.

“Daddy’s had me doing chores all morning. Sorry if I stink,” Cam replied. Compared with Max this morning, he smells like roses. “Do you have any Gatorade?”

I nodded and motioned for Noah to grab him one from the fridge. 

Once he took a swig, Cam’s eyes lit up. “Now, let’s see the show.”

***

Rewatching Chad get his ass handed to him was actually a little anticlimactic.

When the video began, Cam explained to Noah that Raymond was the PI his dad hired. “He’s a total badass.”

“Seriously? That old guy?” Noah asked.

“Just watch,” Bob interjected. “He’s an ex-cop. You wouldn’t want him on your bad side.”

“But he’s really cool too,” Cam added. 

I mostly enjoyed watching the reaction of the boys. When Chad first entered, full of bravado, Noan was put-off. “He’s such a fucking tool!”

You could see their excitement build as Raymond presented Chad with evidence of his adultery and shady business dealings. They were both on the edge of their seats, giving each other high fives. When Chad first got up to leave, and Raymond asked him which he would prefer to be arrested for — child porn, raping a middle schooler, or soliciting a minor — they both stood and let out a cheer.

“No way he leaves,” Cam said.

“Is this where you come in and deck him?” Noah asked. He sounds so eager. 

“Not yet,” I answered. “It’s coming up.” I hit pause. “Sit back down so we can get to the good stuff.”

“This is already good!” Noah exclaimed.

I resumed. When Raymond sternly tells Chad to “SIT THE FUCK DOWN,” the boys could barely contain their laughter.

“Oh yeah,” Cam commented, “this IS getting good.”

They calmed down as Raymond delved into Chad having a clip of Noah jerking off. Cam gently put a supportive hand on Noah’s shoulder. Bob caught my eye and smiled.

As the meeting continued, Chad tried to tell Raymond that Max enjoyed everything they did and was hardly inexperienced. Cam began to fume, gripping the side of the couch. He definitely has a spark of his old man's temper. It was Bob’s turn to rest a calming hand on Cam. “Relax. You know the ending is satisfactory.”

***

When the recording of Max’s statement began, I realized how relieved I am that he isn't here. He did a great job, but also really did bare his soul. He was incredibly raw and vulnerable. I can see how that might be embarrassing to rewatch with an audience, including your best friend and boyfriend.

Even Cam and Noah became sullen as Max began his diatribe. Cam was swaying in his seat. I don’t think either knew Max delivered a victim statement. He did a remarkable job and his words were powerful, but it’s obvious neither expected to see him appear on screen. It’s the first time this entire screening they’ve seemed uncomfortable. 

When Chad uttered the line that sent me into a rage (“What a pathetic little faggot. Boy needs to toughen up!”), both boys gasped. 

“What the actual fuck?” Cam asked.

Noah punched the couch.

A few seconds later they saw my fury as I called him a sadistic piece-of-shit and tossed him from his chair.

Cam and Noah looked at me, stunned. I’m not sure why. They knew I lost it at some point, but I suppose they’ve never seen me so enraged.

“Fuck yeah Craig,” Noah said, flashing me a thumbs up. “That had to have felt good.”

***

At the end of Max’s speech, when he’s becoming increasingly upset and beginning to cry, he seemed even sadder to me. It’s the third time I’ve watched and its impact has only increased. It definitely bothered both of them, but especially Cam. And once again, I’m glad Max isn’t here with us. I’m sure he’d feel mortified, even if he shouldn’t.

Next came my unrehearsed take down of Chad. By now, the lads lost some of their enthusiasm. I think Max’s moment reminded them of the seriousness of the whole matter. While they appreciated my lecture, their thirst for vengeance has waned. Perhaps seeing Chad so defeated has satiated their hunger for revenge. 

They barely commented when they realized Max will be receiving a sizable chunk of money.

Noah was relieved that he wouldn’t have to worry about Chad showing up at Ashley’s again, or at school. Raymond made avoiding both places the first of Chad’s conditions to remain free.

***

“Well, that’s the end of the festivities,” Bob announced as the screen went black. “What did you think?”

“It was perfect. I mean, it accomplished everything we needed, right?” Noah answered.

“I think so,” I said. “And you got to see me lose my cool,” I added, laughing.

“That was the best part. You were a beast,” Cam added. “I’ll be sure to steer clear of Craig the Maniac.”

“I think you’re safe. That’s as close as I’ve come to being in a fight my entire life.”

Noah patted my arm. “I get it. Douche deserved it. I still can’t believe what he said about Max.”

“Yeah, for real,” Cam agreed bitterly.

“Speaking of Max,” I interrupted. “I originally hoped he would watch this with us. I thought he would enjoy it.”

“I’m kind of glad he didn’t,” Cam said.

“Why?” Bob asked.

“I dunno… that video he made. It was great, but it was sad too. I know Max. He would’ve been humiliated watching it with an audience. It would have been awkward for him.” Noah nodded along in agreement.

“I think you’re right,” I agreed. “That was what I was about to say. I think he desperately wants to move on from everything to do with Chad. He knows we're here together, but I don’t think we — any of us — should make a point of bringing it up. If he asks, you can give a basic response, but don’t get into specifics.”

“Okay,” they both agreed in unison. 

“I might suggest he watch the part where you try to kill Chad,” Cam replied, grinning. “But I won’t say anything else.”

“Me either,” Noah answered. “He can watch if he wants. I didn’t at first, but I see now why he doesn’t want to.”

“You two are great friends,” Bob said. “Honestly. Max couldn’t do any better.”

“Thanks Mr. Rice. Can Cam come to my house, just for a little bit?” Noah implored.

Bob looked hesitant. I frowned. “Noah will even get you a beer first,” I offered, motioning him to the kitchen. He’s usually my little gopher when he hangs around, so he knows right where they’re kept.

“Okay then. 30 minutes. We have work to do at home.”

“Thanks Daddy,” Cam said as they bolted for the door.

***

Bob and I nibbled on the popcorn as we enjoyed our beer. 

“They really are great boys, aren’t they?” he asked.

“Yes they are, all three of them. They make mistakes like all kids, but deep down, they have the important things right.”

Bob nodded. 

“FYI, I’ve been enlisted to twist your arm on something.”

Bob’s ears perked. “What?” 

“Noah’s birthday is next week. He wants Max and Cam to sleepover on Friday. I know he’s still grounded, and how firm you are on such things.”

“But you think he’s earned a reprieve?” Bob’s smirking, which seems like a good sign. 

“I do. Noah’s mom is working on Stacy to let Max come — not that it will take much convincing. She knows how important Noah’s friendship is,” I began, deciding to switch tactics. “Plus, Noah did tell an adult when his friends weren’t being safe, despite the potential risks. I’d hate to see his birthday be marred because of that. Sort of sends the wrong message, don’t you think?”

Bob sighed. I’ve got him. “Well, I don’t want to be a tyrant, and you have a point about Noah. And Cam’s behavior and attitude have been exemplary. No whining, no complaining, no talking back. So, I guess it will be okay,” he replied. “But I’m keeping his phone and he’s still grounded otherwise.”

“Good man.” I’ll have to reward him sometime with a blowjob. “I get it. Max hasn’t gotten off restriction yet either. But, I also truly believe they’ve learned their lesson, and isn’t that the whole point of discipline?”

Bob shook his head. “I think living in this blue state amongst you heathens is making me go soft. Thursday I let them rope me into hosting a Halloween party, now I’m letting another night slide.”

“Well, if it's any consolation, if you’d given them a little more than 30 minutes, I might have rewarded your graciousness.” I reached over and gave Bob’s crotch a squeeze. I’m not going to lie; I’d love to have some fun with his cock again. I think I’m finally over the shock of getting caught at the cabin.

Bob groaned. “I would take you up on that, even with only 30 minutes. But I can’t risk Cam catching us again. Soon though.”

Honestly, it’s probably for the best not to risk being walked in on again. And, there’s something that feels shitty about doing it in Kim’s home. It’s not like I feel great about committing adultery, but doing it here seems even lower. I wonder if Bob ever had the same thoughts about us doing stuff at his house? He never seemed bothered.

I turned on the TV and flipped to a college football game. I’m also trying to get a kernel unstuck from my teeth. I hate that. 

“You know, watching this whole thing again, I noticed things I didn’t at the time.”

“Oh?” This could be interesting.

“Yeah. Like the incredulous but satisfied look on Raymond’s face when you barged in and bitch slapped that piece of shit. Or how Chad’s entire demeanor shifts when it dawns on him that we own him.”

I grimaced. “I still can’t believe I did that. But after everything he did to Max, when he said that, I just went somewhere.”

“I get it. Adrenaline kicks in and it’s like you’re a different person,” Bob said. “I’ve worked really hard to control my temper. I never assaulted anyone, but I always got into fights until I was 15 or so. I never wanted that for Cam.”

“He has shades of your temper, but I’ve never seen him be physically aggressive.”

“He was when he was little. We focused diligently on it, and thankfully he outgrew it earlier than I did. Now it’s usually just words, which is only marginally better,” Bob shared. I have been on the receiving end of Cam’s occasional vitriol. He knows how to cut to the quick. It may be one of those things Stacy is worried Max is influenced by, although I don’t think she’s ever seen Cam angry. “I almost got kicked out of school my sophomore year and was even on probation for a little while. That’s when I realized I had to get my shit together or life would be rough.”

Damn. He’s never shared that before. “I had no idea. You’ve never mentioned much about your childhood or adolescence.”

“I’m not proud of who I was then. I know you think I’m too hard on Cam sometimes and focus too much on manners, but it’s because I want better for him. I wasn’t a very good person when I was his age, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to raise an asshole — like I was.”

“You haven’t. Like you said, he has a good heart,” I said, trying to reassure him. “And you certainly aren’t an asshole now. What turned you around?”

“Part of it was just maturity, part of it was I was scared about the path I was on. I was young and stupid and became enamored with a couple older boys who I thought were cool. I followed them around like a lost puppy. Looking back, maybe it was even a crush of sorts, I don’t know,” he explained. “They ended up in juvenile detention for vandalizing cars. I could have very easily been busted along with them. Most weekends I tagged along, but we were out-of-town to visit my grandparents when they were arrested. I remember being pissed at my old man for not letting me stay home, but looking back, it was a blessing.”

“Wow. Close call. I imagine your life might have turned out differently.”

“Definitely. My parents realized how bad they were and kept me away once they were released. It also showed me the fork in the road. They finally got me into counseling, which wasn’t so ubiquitous then.” He wiped his brow. “I decided I had to take responsibility for my actions and grow up.”

I would never have guessed Bob to be a little delinquent. It puts into context how strict and conservative he is now.

“How did you do that?”

“I really leaned into school and church. Focused on grades and always doing a sport. I kept busy with activities and worked really hard. Even got a part-time job. I didn't have time to be a shit, and my loser friends didn’t think I was fun anymore, but I met new ones who had the right priorities,” he described. “Honestly, it’s part of the reason we moved north. I told you the last time Cam had been spanked was when he lied to me and went over to someone's house he wasn’t allowed to be around. Kid was a bad seed.”

He shook his head like he still can’t believe Cam defied him. “I saw him starting to hang out with the wrong crowd, so when the promotion opportunity came, I jumped.” He took the final swig of his beer. “I’m so glad he’s made such nice friends who are genuinely good human beings. I was worried he’d seek out the wrong types here, too.”

Wow. I doubt Max knows that. It’s hard to imagine Cam being involved with anything nefarious. Perhaps Bob was paranoid after his own childhood, or maybe the kid really was that bad. Some are, and it has to start somewhere.

I can’t help but needle him a little. “So, what you’re saying is, moving away from ruby red east Texas into a den of Godless Democrats has been good for your son?”

He laughed. “I think that’s just a coincidence. But I do like the effect Max has on him. He’s calmer, more centered. Focused on someone besides himself.”

I nodded. “I’ve thought the inverse, too. They bring out the best in each other and magnify their positive qualities. Max’s manners have improved. He was never impolite, but Cam has definitely rubbed off on him. Literally and figuratively,” I said, enjoying my own double-entendre.

“God, I can’t even imagine getting as much action as he does. I’m not saying that’s all positive, but it sure helps keep him busy and worn out. Not currently having that outlet is a big reason I’m working him so much while he’s grounded. Idle hands are the devil’s workshop and all,” he said. He looked at his watch. “We’d better get going. It’s almost been a half hour, and I can’t have him thinking I don’t stick to what I say.”

“I’ll walk you over.”

***

Cam and Noah were in his driveway shooting baskets.

“Who’s winning?” I asked.

“Noah. He’s only a ho, I’m a whore,” Cam said as he took a shot.

Bob’s eyes widened. “Excuse me?”

Noah looks concerned. “We’re playing Horse. I only have the H and O. Cam has the R.”

“Funny,” I interjected before turning to face Bob. “Do you think they can finish their round?”

He nodded.

Watching them was fun. There was definitely a little rough housing and trash talk, but in a low key, friendly way. It’s the sort of thing a mom might intervene on, not realizing that’s how males bond and show affection.

After a few minutes, Cam lost. Noah chirped in his ear about dominating someone so athletic.

“It's only because you have so much free time to play alone with your balls.”

Bob put his hand on his shoulder. “Now Cameron, don’t be a sore loser or Noah might uninvite you from his birthday sleepover.”

Cam looked up to him, understanding dawning across his face. “You mean I can?”

“Yes, Craig made a compelling case,” he said, winking at me. He just gave me currency with both Cam and Noah. “So long as you have a good week. But that won’t be a problem, will it?”

Cam started jumping up and down in excitement and hugged his father. He’s being super cute. “No sir! I’ll be good, I promise.”

“I know. But you’re still technically grounded. This is a furlough for a special circumstance,” he stated, making sure Cam understands he hasn’t completed his consequences. “As Craig pointed out, it doesn’t seem fair for Noah to be punished on his birthday because of mistakes… others made.”

“I understand. Thanks Daddy!”

***

Max and Kim arrived home mid-afternoon. As I suspected, Kim went overboard with decorations for his room. But, she’s earned the right to spoil him. I know how good it feels to make him happy. It’s hard to complain about a few trinkets when I paid for him to go all the way to Mexico (and, it looks like, Europe).

For all the stuff they bought for his room, Max was most excited about the birthday present he chose for Noah. It’s a wall decoration made out of old license plates in the shape of a fish. It honestly looks pretty cool, and Max said the vendor gave him a great deal. That’s probably because Kim bought a larger piece (a robot) for Max.

“We need to print some pictures,” Kim announced, holding up a wall piece made of wood and twine meant to display photos. 

“How do you even do that? Do you just print them yourself or what?” Max asked.

It kills me that young people don’t even know how to get actual photographs. “I don’t think I have photo paper, plus that uses a lot of ink and the quality is still crap,” I explained. “We can just upload them to Walgreens and pick them up later.”

“You can do that?” he asked. Good grief, kids these days. I think if you told them about developing film they would think you’re making it up.

***

We took some time going through my phone and his social media to choose some choice shots. Thankfully, there were plenty to choose from. We settled on some of us in Mexico, Max with his mom, some with Max and Noah and Cam. My favorite (at least in terms of unbridled sexiness) is of Max and Cam shirtless in the ranger tower they hiked to over Labor Day. But the best overall was the shot I snapped of Cam and Max embracing on the lake pier at sunset. 

I also insisted on adding one of him sleeping with the gymnast bear Kim bought for him. While I think it’s adorable, I added it mostly for Kim, since the bear was the first thing she ever bought Max. Max didn’t know I took that picture. I didn’t realize I had never shown it to him. I took it the night he had his epic meltdown after running into Chad in public, so maybe that’s why it never came up. I don’t think he loved adding it, but acquiesced.

Max insisted on uploading a selfie from Kim’s phone that they took at lunch. I have to admit, it’s a great photo of them. They both look incredibly content.

While we waited for the pictures to be produced, we hung the rest of the purchases. With the picture holder, robot sculpture, new bedding, and LED lights, the room looks totally different — and much more like a teenage boy’s space and not a generic guest room decorated by 50-somethings.

Of course, Max’s favorite item might be the new $10 digital alarm clock they picked up at Target. The current iteration adorning the nightstand is “as old as you, Craig.” I swear he bought it just as an excuse to give me shit. But he’s not wrong, I think that alarm clock was in my room when I was in high school. Come to think of it, if he knew it was from my own formative years, he might appreciate it more.

The room turned out great. Max was more excited than I expected, considering he thought it was unnecessary to update at all. The lights will even sync to an app on his phone, whenever he gets it back. I didn’t realize there was such a thing.

Seeing him happy is nice, but claiming his room to be even more ‘his’ was satisfying in another way. It serves as confirmation that Max is going to be a permanent fixture in my life.

What more could I ask for?

*** End of Chapter 43 ***

Author’s notes:

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