Date: Tue, 16 Nov 2021 05:53:46 +0000 From: Wes Leigh Subject: Misunderstood, Chapter 3 (Gay Adult/Youth) MISUNDERSTOOD By Wes Leigh This is a work of fiction intended solely for the entertainment of my readers; any resemblance to any real people or places is purely coincidental. This story is the property of the author and is protected by copyright laws. The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. If you enjoy this story, please support the Nifty archives today with a thoughtful donation by visiting https://donate.nifty.org/. Chapter Three Three hundred and sixty miles to the east, at the University of Tulsa, Gray Langston was breaking down in tears. Sitting on a bench late at night, staring through watery eyes at the lights on University Club Tower, he was glad to see that the campus grounds were mostly empty. He didn't want any distractions, any friends or roommates or teachers interfering as he struggled to accept the decision he knew he now had to make. There really wasn't any other option, because everything was totally screwed up now. Sure, it was his own fault, but that just made it worse. If there was someone else he could yell at, it might make him feel better. But he had only himself to blame, and how do you scream at yourself, "You screwed up royally, you idiot!" without sounding like a crazy man? He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. Opening up his email app, he logged into his account and scrolled through his draft emails until he found the letter he had started weeks earlier, back when he'd first begun to worry about how things at school were spiraling out of control. He'd never sent the letter, chickening out every time he started to do so, but he knew he could delay it no more. He wiped his sleeve across his eyes so he could see better and began reading the letter. He shook his head. That was an incredibly stupid way to start the letter. It sounded too much like a suicide note! He erased the first few sentences and started again. That was better. Gray took a deep breath and read the rest of the letter. Gray sighed and closed his eyes. How proud would his parents be when they got this letter? He opened his eyes and read the rest. Gray paused and added a couple of sentences to the end of the paragraph. There. That was better. He continued reading. He blew out his breath and held his finger over the send button. With a shaking hand, he pressed down and committed his fate to the electronic ether. Then he snorted. Stop being so damned melodramatic, he admonished himself silently. You're not the first idiot to drop out of school. He stood up and slung his backpack over his shoulder. Might as well head for the dorm and call it a night. He had a lot of packing to do in the morning. *** As late as it was, most students were asleep, getting a few hours rest before heading to class the next day. As Gray walked in the quiet stillness of the night, he found himself actually looking forward to the next day, something he hadn't felt for weeks now. No more classes. No more stressing out. It was a huge relief to know the decision had been made and he was finally done with it. As he walked up the sidewalk in front of the dorm, his phone buzzed. He glanced at the screen and grimaced. Swiping the screen with his finger, he answered the call and held the phone to his ear. "Hi, Mom." "Gray, sweetheart. Your dad is with me, and we have you on speaker." "Hello, son." "Hi, Dad." "Gray," his mother continued, "I was doing some late-night emailing when your message came in. I've read it, and your dad and I would like to talk to you, if you have a minute." Gray swallowed hard. He did NOT want to have this conversation right now. He'd hoped his parents wouldn't see the email until later, but he knew he'd have to face them eventually. Might as well bite the bullet and get it over with. "Ummm, yeah, I ... uhhhh ... guess you were a little surprised to get that?" His mother's voice broke as she said, "Gray, sweetheart, there is one thing your father and I want to say. One thing we want you to hear, loud and clear. Gray, we love you, and we are NOT disappointed in you in the least! Right, Richard?" His dad jumped in. "Right, Carol. Gray, little buddy, we will always be proud of you, no matter what you choose to do in life. We love you. And I'm really sorry if we pushed you too hard--" Gray interrupted his dad, "No, Dad, that's not it at all. This is my fault." "It's nobody's fault, sweetheart," his mother threw out. "So let's not go there, okay? No blaming anyone. No apologies needed. Instead, just know that we love you and we will support you in whatever you decide to do." "That's right," his dad interjected. "Son, if you need to come home, do it." Gray felt the tears dripping down his cheeks again, but they were warm tears of happiness now. "Thanks, guys. You don't know how much this means to me." His mother asked, "Are you coming home right away?" "Might as well," Gray said with a shrug. "I need to let the university know I'm withdrawing. That shouldn't take long. Then pack my things. It should take me a few hours at most. I'll let you know when I'm headed home." "Okay, sweetheart. I guess that means we'll see you tomorrow afternoon?" "Probably." "I'll have your father grill some steaks. And I'll bake a cobbler for dessert." Gray laughed and choked back a sob. "Thank you, Mom. Dad. Love you both." "We love you, sweetheart." "Love you, little buddy. See you tomorrow." "See you, Dad. Bye." "Goodbye, sweetheart." Gray disconnected the call and slid his phone back into his pocket with an exaggerated sigh of relief. The call was just what he needed, and he finally felt hopeful about where his life was headed. *** Tony was already asleep when Gray opened the dorm door and peeked inside. Light from a nearby streetlamp illuminated the room slightly, allowing Gray to see that Tony's blanket had slipped off his naked shoulder and upper back. Gray stared at Tony's smooth skin and once again regretted that the two of them had never tried being more than roommates. There had been plenty of hints from Tony. Taking extra time getting dressed after showers. Showing off his slightly plumped up cock. Having a casual conversation about school while slowly pulling his fashionable boxer briefs up his muscular thighs. Adjusting his package inside the underwear until he was satisfied with how it all fell in place. Yes, Tony was a flirt. And then there was the fact that the amazingly sexy Tony Russo had never shown an interest in any girl whatsoever. With his dark Mediterranean looks, he could have had his pick of girlfriends, but Gray had never seen Tony date the entire time they'd been roommates. There had never been a handkerchief tied to the door handle warning Gray to stay out and come back later (which seemed to happen all the time to their suitemate, who had the misfortune to room with a dumb jock who considered himself God's gift to the female student body). Tony never did that. Tony also didn't talk about women, not as sex objects certainly, and not even as objects of interest in any way. He just didn't care about females. And that made Gray suspect Tony was gay. That would have been fine with Gray, because he was gay too, but there was a problem. Every time Tony flirted with him, Gray panicked. His stomach cramped and he felt himself shaking from nerves. He always found something else to do. A class assignment to work on. A textbook to read. Or he ran into the bathroom and locked the door behind him. Pretending to have diarrhea was less embarrassing than popping a boner in front of his roommate. And so, the two of them never got past the point of flashing a quick bit of flesh after a shower before sliding underwear into place. Now that Gray had decided to drop out of school, there wouldn't be a chance to see if anything more might develop between them. Gray tossed his jacket on his chair and sat on the bed. Toeing his shoes off, he unbuttoned his shirt at the same time and slid his arms out. Standing up, he unbuckled his pants and dropped them to the floor. He picked up his clothes, folded the shirt and pants neatly, and placed them carefully on his desk. Tiptoeing across the room, Gray looked down at Tony, admiring his long, dark eyelashes. Tony's eyes were closed, and he was breathing slow and deep. Gray stretched out his hand, stopping inches away from Tony's shoulder. He wanted to touch him. To feel his warm, soft skin. As he leaned forward, his hand started shaking. He stopped a fraction of an inch away and pulled back. Turning quickly, embarrassed now, he hurried into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. Leaning back against the cold surface, he took a deep breath and tried to slow his frantic heart. One more failure to add to his list. *** The hot, steaming shower helped. Standing with the water cascading down onto his neck and back, he rotated his shoulders, enjoying the way the tension seemed to flow out of his muscles and down the drain. With his eyes closed, he tried to forget about school and Tony and all the other things he couldn't manage. Instead, he allowed the water to pound on the back of his head and neck, gently massaging the stress out of his body. He flipped open a bottle of body wash and squeezed a generous amount into his hand. Rubbing it slowly around his chest and stomach, he worked his way lower into his dark, tangled pubes, then lower still onto his circumcised cock. The feeling of his hand sliding along the soft tube of flesh kicked off the inevitable swelling that he didn't want to have to deal with at the moment. No matter how much it relaxed him physically, he didn't want the mental anguish that always came along with masturbation. No, it wasn't going to happen this time. He was simply going to shower and wash up and that was it. He squeezed more body wash into his palm and rubbed it onto his cock, grimacing when the darn thing stiffened up, throbbing and hard. He soaped up his balls next, hoping his cock would get the message and go down. It didn't, instead growing even harder. He tried to resist the temptation, but failed. As if on autopilot, he tilted the bottle of body wash and squirted more into his hand, applying it to his cock, rubbing the slippery gel all along the now steel-hard shaft. The tingling sensations began. With his eyes shut tight, he started stroking his cock. He told his hand to stop, that he shouldn't be doing this, that it was wrong, but it felt so incredible he had to keep going until finally his balls pulled up against his body and his cock throbbed and squirted all over the shower wall. Just like every time in the past, Gray knew when he stepped into the shower it would happen again. He felt horrible, ashamed. Why couldn't he resist doing this? He carefully milked the last few drops from his cock and washed off the shower wall. Turning to face the water, he rinsed away the soap and the shameful, sticky fluid, carefully avoiding looking at his still swollen cock. Leaning forward, he wet his hair, scrubbed his scalp with shampoo, and hurriedly finished his shower. Afterward, Gray dried off, doing his best to dab the towel on his genitals without touching them more than he had too. He pulled up his underwear as quickly as possible, covering the parts of his body that gave him such excitement mixed with embarrassment. He knew why he was ashamed. Thinking back to what happened years ago on that day in his bedroom with his best friend Aaron, he felt his face turning bright red. He didn't want to think about it. He hated the memory of that day and what happened afterward, almost as much as he hated what he'd just done in the shower. He looked in the mirror. His gray eyes stared back at him, begging him for forgiveness. He sighed. Those eyes would have to find forgiveness somewhere else. He couldn't grant it. Not now. Not after doing what he'd done in the shower. Not when he thought about what he was and how he'd disappointed his parents in so many ways. A hopelessly-closeted gay boy flunking out of college, running home to mom and dad. He sighed, gathered up the damp towel, and flipped off the light. *** His parents lived in a small town just about an hour from Tulsa, so the drive home gave him more time to reflect on where he was in life. He'd been so certain about where he was headed. He'd planned to attend law school first, pass the bar, then attend medical school and intern at the Children's Hospital at Saint Francis. He wanted to learn the in's and out's of treating childhood diseases. His mom often complained about the lack of support for research, so he'd planned to use his law degree to fight for better funding. So much for those dreams. He wondered what he'd do now. He couldn't wrap his mind around the idea of starting school again, even after a break. Every time he thought about either legal or medical classes, his brain froze and the panic rose up again. The only classes he found himself recalling fondly were the computer science courses he'd been dabbling in. That was something he truly enjoyed. If only he'd had the balls to tell his parents he didn't want to be a lawyer or a doctor, he could have avoided all this drama. He could have majored in computer science and done his own thing. Now, at twenty-one years of age, he wasn't sure what he wanted to do anymore. Glancing into the rear-view mirror, he asked himself what was next. The guy looking back didn't have an answer. The face he saw was decently good looking. His dark hair was fashionably cut, but his lips were a little too full, in his opinion, and his nose a little too long. His best feature was his eyes. They were steel gray most of the time. Sometimes (in the moonlight or underneath a streetlamp) they appeared almost silver in color. His skin was fair and unblemished, so he could see why the girls thought he was cute. Not handsome, but cute. Too bad he wasn't interested in girls. Too busy with school and not really attracted to the female of the species, he hadn't bothered trying to have a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend, either, for that matter. His cell phone buzzed, distracting him. It was mounted in its cradle, so he was able to see the caller's name without taking his attention off the road. Jessica Dominguez. Ah, that was just great. He sighed and answered the call on speaker. "What do you want, bitch?" he mumbled. "I've got your bitch right here," Jessica's voice replied with a snarl. "And she's gonna chase your skinny ass all the way back home and tear you a new one." Shaking his head, but starting to smile, Gray replied, "I don't need an ass-kicking right now, Jess. I feel bad enough as it is." "Oh? But apparently not bad enough to tell your best friend you're leaving school?" "Jess ... please, don't make this worse." "Fine. Turn the car around and come back to Tulsa. You can apologize in person, kneeling in front of me, and kissing my hand." Gray chuckled and said, "I'm halfway home. I'm not turning around and coming back." "Then I'll come there, but you're groveling at my feet and giving me a pedicure when you're done." "I'm not giving you a pedicure." "Oh, you are. And my toenails are nasty." "You're nasty, you skank." "Skank? Oh, man, I'm so gonna kick your ass when I see you. When you comin' back to school?" Gray paused and swallowed hard. "I don't think I am, Jess." "Why? What happened?" "I broke down. Burned out." "It was too much for you, wasn't it?" "Yeah," Gray admitted. "You could tell?" "Oh, yeah. I could see it coming, even if you couldn't. I'm just glad you finally realized what was going on." "So you're not mad?" Jessica snorted. "Of course, I'm mad. You left without saying goodbye, see you later, kiss my ass, or anything." "I sent you an email." "I didn't want your damned email, Gray. I wanted to hug your neck and try to get in your pants one more time." Gray laughed and shook his head. "You know that wasn't going to happen." "A girl can dream. What about Tony? Did you let him get in your pants before you ran away?" "Jess! That's none of your business!" "Oh my God, Gray. What am I gonna do with you? What's the point of being gay if you don't enjoy a hot young thing like Tony when he sleeps six feet away every night?" "I don't even know if Tony's gay." Jessica screamed into the phone. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME? He may look like an Italian stallion, but he ain't interested in mounting the fillies!" Gray turned bright red. "Jess! Shut your mouth!" "It's true, and you know it. He was definitely interested in you. You didn't like him?" "Jessica Dominguez!" "Grayson Alexander Langston! As your best--and possibly only--friend, it is my solemn duty to take your virginity, even if I have to do it by hooking you up with a stud like Tony." "Okay, I'm hanging up on you now." "Fine. I'll just drive up to your parents' house next weekend. I'll find you a boyfriend in Hicksville, Oklahoma. That's where y'all live, right?" "I'll never send you the address." "I've got your momma's phone number. She'll tell me where y'all live." "Goodbye, Jess." "Bye, Gray. I'm still pissed." "I'm sorry, Jess." "I'll forgive you. This time." "Thanks, Jess. You're the best." "Of course, I am." "Jess ..." His voice cracked. "Yes, Gray?" "Give me a few days, and I'll be ready to talk." "Okay." "Please come see me. I need you. Okay?" "I will. Be ready to do my toenails." "Not happening." Jessica laughed. "Bye, Sweet Gums." "Bye, Jess." *** Gray's mother met him in the driveway. She opened the car door and pulled him out and into her arms, hugging him gently. Then she kissed him on the cheek, pulled back, and whispered, "Welcome home, kid. Your dad's in the back yard. Burning our supper." Gray chuckled. "Let's go see what he's got cooking. I can unload the car later." They walked into the house, hugging each other from the side, arms around each other's waist. When they walked onto the back porch, the smell of sizzling steaks made Gray's mouth water. "Richard," his mom called out, "look what I found in the driveway." His dad looked up and waved his tongs at them. "Carol, why didn't you just turn on the garden hose and run him off like you do the neighbor's cat? Can't you see I'm busy here? Attending to important affairs of fine cuisine." He set the tongs down and turned to face Gray. "Come here, brat." Gray bashfully ducked his head and walked up to his dad, who took him in his arms and gathered him in a tight hug. His mother joined them, wrapping her arms around them both. Nobody talked. Nothing but hugs and love. It was good to be home. *** The food, of course, had been excellent, and the conversation light-hearted. No mention of school or dropping out. No attempt to address the future. It was if they all intended to avoid any topic that might ruin his first evening back home. Avoiding difficult subjects was a finely honed art in the Langston household. Now that his parents had gone to bed, Gray had time to think. He stretched out on his bed, leaned back against the headboard, and looked around his old bedroom. The same dark gray curtains with blue stars hung in front of the window. Nearby was his old desk, still showing the nicks in one leg from when he was eight years old and testing out a pocketknife he got for his birthday--until his mom caught him! Above the desk was the bookshelf where he displayed the model cars he'd made when he was nine. That was a hobby that lasted only a year before he moved on to other interests, mainly swimming with friends at the local natatorium. And remembering that brought back painful memories he quickly pushed aside. It was so strange to be back. An odd combination of comfort and familiarity, but from a new point of view as an adult who had experienced so much since leaving the family home. In some ways, he felt like he was still a boy, living under the care and guidance of his parents. He'd been on his own, making his own decisions, acting like an adult. And yet ... he was back again. In the same room. Thinking about his childhood. Wondering about his future. Gray rolled onto his side and hugged his pillow. This was the very same position he'd been in years ago, after spending the morning at the natatorium with Aaron. He wondered where Aaron was now. What was Aaron doing? Was he attending college too, or had he gone on that trip around the world he always dreamed about? Aaron James. His best friend since kindergarten. His inseparable buddy. They had been so close, their parents often joked about them being twins. Not a day went by that they weren't hanging out together, creating chaos, and receiving similar punishments. Not a weekend passed that they weren't sleeping over, either at Gray's house or Aaron's. They even bathed together, thinking nothing of it, just enjoying being boys. Until ... Gray sat up and shook his head. Why couldn't he forget about that day? Why torture himself over it? It was long past and had nothing to do with who he was now! *** It was a typical summer day for Gray and his best bud Aaron. Aaron arrived just after lunch, and they spent the afternoon riding bikes, throwing rocks into the river, then chasing each other through the water sprinkler in the back yard. After devouring hamburgers and potato chips, they watched movies and played video games until late into the night. The next morning, they slept in so long that Gray's mother finally threatened to throw ice cold water on their heads. They laughed and tossed off the blankets, running into the bathroom with underwear poking out from morning stiffies. Neither one was the least bit embarrassed. Boners happened all the time, after all, for ten-year-old boys. They quickly showered together, giggling and poking each other and even slapping each other on the butt and cock. Then they dressed in swim trunks and tee shirts, grabbed a Pop-Tart in each hand, and ran out the door heading for the natatorium. Swimming that day was like any other day. A bit of roughhousing until the high school lifeguard threatened to kick them out, then working on their form as they swam laps, waiting for the lifeguard to look the other direction before dunking each other. When they were worn out and hungry, they climbed out of the pool and headed for the showers. They always kept their trunks on while showering. Not from shyness, but simply for convenience. They were going to be wearing the wet trunks home, after all. While in the shower, they joked around, making fun of the doofus lifeguard. But then, something happened that had never happened before. Their laughter was interrupted by a man walking into the shower. He was in his thirties, a little overweight, with a hairy chest and stomach, and a furry back. Aaron snickered. Gray rolled his eyes and turned toward the wall so he wouldn't have to see the ugly, hairy guy. Aaron poked Gray in the arm and nodded his head, indicating that Gray should look behind him. He turned and saw the hairy man standing under a nearby shower, now naked. He held his swimsuit under the shower spray, rinsing it out. His cock was jutting out in front of him, not quite boned up, but poking straight out. It was thick and long, a lot bigger than theirs. Aaron bit his lip, trying not to laugh. Gray couldn't believe the guy was just standing there, for everyone to see. There wasn't anyone else in the shower. Just the three of them. But still, what was the guy thinking? The two boys turned away and snorted, suppressing their laughter. What a weirdo! Gray glanced back over his shoulder, trying to keep from being too obvious. What he saw shocked him. The guy now had a full-blown erection! It was standing straight up and pointing toward the ceiling. It was really long now and super thick! He was rubbing it with soap, making it glisten. Gray looked at Aaron and nodded back at the man. Aaron glanced over quickly and looked back at Gray, his eyes wide with surprise. The boys grinned at each other, then busted out in laughter. They turned off the water and ran out of the shower, jostling each other as they rushed back to the locker where they'd stashed their shoes and tee shirts. Dressing as quickly as they could, they left the natatorium, walking back to Gray's house shaking their heads in amazement at what they'd just seen. Aaron was the first to break the silence. "Damn, it was big!" Gray nodded in agreement. "Biggest one I ever saw." Aaron shrugged. "Bigger'n my cousin Matthew. And he's sixteen. That thing must have been twice as long as ours." "Maybe longer," Gray noted. "Three times bigger?" Aaron laughed, smirking. Gray shook his head. "Probably not. But it was long!" "And thick!" "Yeah." The boys walked along, each deep in thought, until Gray asked, "So you've seen your cousin naked?" Aaron nodded. "Yeah. Every time we spend the night at their place in Wichita, Matthew lets me look at it. And he let's me do other stuff." "Other stuff? Like what?" "I really shouldn't say. He made me promise to keep it a secret," Aaron explained. Gray didn't reply. A promise was a promise. You couldn't ask a guy to break a promise. Aaron turned to look at Gray and said, "But you're my best friend, and we share everything. Matthew probably wouldn't mind if I told you, but you gotta promise not to tell anyone else. Okay?" He stopped Gray and turned him so they faced one another. Holding up his hand with his pinkie pointing up, Aaron asked, "Pinkie swear?" Gray curled his pinkie around Aaron's and said, "I promise not to tell anyone else what my best friend Aaron James is about to tell me. Pinkie swear!" Aaron smiled and threw his arm across Gray's shoulder. As they headed for Gray's house, Aaron filled him in on the fun things Matthew had shown him you could do with a boner. Things like rubbing it with lotion until it got really hard and felt all tingly. If you rubbed it long enough, once you were as old as Matthew, spermies would shoot out the end. Those were the things that made a baby if they got up inside a girl, although Aaron was a little unsure about just how that happened. Back at Gray's house, they stripped off their swim trunks and jumped onto his bed, naked and giggling. Their giggling stopped when they noticed that each of them had popped a boner. They studied the hard little rods, thinking about the hairy guy in the shower and Aaron's cousin Matthew with his spermies shooting out, and without saying a word, they each reached over and began rubbing on the hard shafts, making them begin to tingle in a delightful way. They were breathing hard and rubbing faster when the bedroom door opened and Gray's dad walked in. The boys froze in place, too shocked to release the boners they had been stroking. Gray's dad looked at them, saw what they were doing, and rushed out of the room, pulling the door closed behind him. *** Remembering that day made Gray's heart pound and brought a thin layer of sweat to his brow. It was stupid, really. A grown man traumatized by a memory from years ago! Yet he couldn't help how it made him feel. Just thinking back to the summer afternoon when he was ten reminded him of the complete and total shame he felt that day--to be exposed that way in front of his dad! He had expected to be punished by his parents, so he and Aaron had quickly dressed and walked into the living room, where his mother and father were quietly talking. They'd stopped and looked up when the boys came in, but didn't say a word. They did tell Aaron it was time for him to go home, which he'd hurried to do, relieved to be getting out of the house. Gray's parents were quiet that evening, but they didn't lecture him or punish him. As far as he knew, they never said a word to Aaron's parents either, which was a huge relief to both boys, and they even agreed to let Aaron spend the night a few days later. The boys eventually decided that the boner-rubbing incident was not going to come up again, but the damage had been done. They were too traumatized to ever repeat anything remotely sexual. They even stopped taking showers together. They remained friends, but they were mortally afraid to do anything more. Now, over a decade later, Gray looked around his childhood bedroom and realized regretfully that he carried scars from that day that had never fully healed. Maybe that was why he tried so hard to please his parents and everyone else, even to the point of driving himself into the ground. He'd disappointed his parents when he was ten, and from that point on, he'd made it his goal to never disappoint them ever again, only to find himself doing it once more. When would he learn? He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. The irony of it all was that those scars hadn't affected Gray alone. His parents probably loved him enough to accept that he was gay, but he just couldn't come out to them. And they carefully avoided discussing his lack of a girlfriend or boyfriend. It simply wasn't a topic they discussed as a family. And then there was poor Tony. He'd been hinting for months that he was willing to take things further, but Gray was mortally afraid of showing even the smallest hint of interest. He'd worked too hard over the years building a wall around his life to let anyone see who he really was. Even Jess was affected. She was his best friend. She loved him dearly and had stuck by his side without fail. She even knew his darkest, most shameful secret--that he was gay--and yet they were constantly bumping heads because she was certain he was only hurting himself by keeping it a secret. He knew he was frustrating her to tears, but the scars told him to stay hidden as long as possible. With a deep sigh, he fell on his side and allowed himself a few self-indulgent moments. Why was he allowing events that happened so long ago to hold him captive today? Would he ever let it go and move on? With no more university classes to keep him busy, Gray knew he would have plenty of time to torture himself. He sighed, punched his pillow and stuffed it under his head. He wondered what kind of jobs were available at the moment. For college dropouts. Gay, closeted, college dropouts. The end of MISUNDERSTOOD, Chapter Three