NONE, MORE THAN I
By M. R. Masterson
Chapter 3
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Sassy Disclaimer
I understand that humans have varying ideals and values when it comes to sexuality. But life the universe, fate, other people, and reality give zero fucks about our sheltered ideals, values, or expectations, this applies to both the real word and fictional worlds.
If you are easily offended, click away, far away, this site is not for you. A man and a teen boy half his age are in love, and form a consensual intimate relationship in this story, if that bothers you, don't read it.
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Chapter 3 - So... What's new?
Jayden was the first to awaken from the intimate little camper nap that afternoon. He was thirsty as hell. They were both soaked in sweat from the muggy camper and the shared body heat.
In the camper, which was basically a pickup bed with a solid roof and canvas walls, it smelled musky, like two sweaty men.
Jayden found himself strangely aroused by the smell, and by his position cuddled up against the man he loved and desired more than anything.
At last... Jaden felt his beloved man's strong arms around him.
` This is heaven, surely this heaven, in what world can this bliss be possible after all we have been through?' he asked.
`I never dreamed he would hold me like this, not since I was a toddler have I felt this secure and loved, why is that withheld from any of us... oh, right, because at a certain age... young boys get boners... guess he will need to get used to that.
David realizes that I needed his affection now, no reluctance, just to make this world bearable, we both needed the security, and depth of concern, which we hold above all else for one another.'
`Now he understands my side of that dynamic and what I need from him as a sexual, emotional being bound to him.'
Whatever discomfort David might have felt physically mentally or emotionally, he was willing ignore for the sake of that moment of pure closeness with someone who loved him.
`Love and be loved, why is there any other rule to life? Oh yeah, some people really are sick perverts, what makes us different?... circumstances I guess, we need this, it isn't just physical, it is a soul-deep bond.'
This was it, David and Jayden, being close, being just genuinely in one another's embrace whether it was right or wrong. they both let out a sigh of contentment.
The fear would always be lurking in the back of their minds; By letting themselves just relish the feeling of being held in the other's arms and letting their self enjoy this intimate moment... that act which gave peace to their souls would be forbidden and hated by those who would never understand our bond. Just being intimate with the person who loved him, they could face dire consequences.
Eventually these thoughts made them both restless.
Jaden thought,
`I know David, I know him well enough to know this is going to take time, and also that I had to face the music for the way I'd acted out my emotions the night before and the weeks before that. I'd done some pretty stupid things while wallowing in my despair and fighting my inner demons.'
This morning had been about Jayden opening up and David showing compassion. The vibe he was getting from David now was different.
He was hurt, and angry. It was time for the 28 year old man to speak his truth in his own usually reasonable and logically un-challengeable way.
Not once had he ever used the words "because I say so" or used the fact that he paid the bills to coerce his legal ward into behaving reasonably.
They talked about things explained both of their perspectives. He had strived to treat Jaden as an equal all along.
Jaden pulled his weight around the house and did small lawn and cleaning jobs for neighbors for money for the unnecessary things he wanted or needed. He saw the check stub, and David made him do the math when it was time to pay bills, and balance the books when they bought groceries. Jaden understood their household finances better than anyone his age.
He also understood how hard David worked for their meager budget. He had been allowed to shadow David at work for a week one summer. He had met people whose bodies had been ruined by the literally back breaking work that nurses and their aides performed.
David started what Jaden knew was going to be a lecture. He wasn't prone to disciplining him much or giving lectures, he never really had to because he knew that making Jayden understand responsibility and reason was more effective than laying down the law, but the boy knew he had crossed a lot of bold lines lately. Jayden reasoned that since he'd been stupid it was time David spoke his mind.
"This is new territory Jaden." David started, "I promise I'm going to try and explore this... new way of us being there for each other and being honest and intimate... but there is something we have to deal with first."
`Uh-oh, here comes the bitter medicine.' Jaden thought.
"You hid things from me," David said looking hurt. "I understand why, but that is still a violation of our mutual trust and honesty." He said making sure Jayden looked hum in the eye.
` No evasive maneuvers, good, he is taking this seriously' David assured himself
`Just face the music dude, you screwed up.' Jaden reasoned with himself.
David continued,
"You abused pills and alcohol to numb yourself so you could handle the drama in your head and heart. I understand the temptation to do that. That is a dangerous Path and a slippery slope.
Jaden, Your biological father had the same tendency and because of it he isn't here for you."
`not that the bastard would have given a damn'
"Jayden, I love you, I'd die for you, you know that.
I want you to think about what it would have done to ME if you had DIED due to your actions last night or if someone tried to take you away from me because you were not okay under my care."
Jaden had a lump in his throat and tears coming to his eyes.
David was going to wrap this up quick and leave him to think about his actions.
"Consequences are a bitch, Jay. I'm not going to ground you or punish you, you aren't a child, you have decided not to be a child for a long time now.
I want you to think long and hard about how you would feel, if the person you love more than life, hurt himself, died, or was ripped out of your life because they didn't trust you enough to be honest about what was tearing them apart."
Think about how well I would be able to handle losing you, or how you would handle losing me.
We have both lost ENOUGH. That is why we lean on each other. We have to take care of ourselves so we are ready to be there for each other.
I love you Jayden but I can't have a repeat of you falling into another depression and harming yourself. That would fucking KILL me. Think about that, if you had screwed up and ended up dead or in a coma, id be destroyed, worse than when Steve left us, worse than when we lost your mother.
You are ALL I have left. I had you to get me through all those other losses. If I lose you, I have nothing, nothing in the world to bother living for.
Next time something hurts so bad you think about doing something dangerous and stupid, you tell me and we deal with it together."
David left Jayden in the camper. This was the only time that that boy had ever had tears in his eyes that David had not held and comforted him. Resisting the urge to comfort him while he sobbed and tears flowed was excruciating, but David was determined to let him confront the truth what he had just laid on him. Feeling alone and imagining his beloved not coming back was perhaps a lesson that he needed right now.
David wasn't harsh by nature, he didn't do things for the sake of punishment or cruelty, but David needed space to clear his head Jayden needed space to think about how his other half felt about the things he had done as a result of not sharing his feelings.
David decided to take a walk around and scrounge for and loose wood lying on the ground.
The local park service appreciated it when downed limbs and other obstacles were scavenged for firewood rather than people bringing in non-local bug infested wood or cutting down trees indiscriminately.
Thinning out the forest a little helped fight fires, but the average person who was just after good firewood left messy branches and remnants behind.
A good camper would help clean up the remnants. Being a natural-born Montanan, and having been taught proper stewardship the land by his family who were some of the original developers of the nearby towns, as well as having native Blackfoot Indian and Inuit heritage, (His grandmother claiming relation to Leif Ericson) David had ties to the land that went deep and he honored the natural paradise.
The local born families could often be heard complaining that the rich yuppie culture that was taking over the prime real estate were destroying the spirit of his home. Montana would soon no longer be the great place that John Denver Sang so passionately about.
Rich politicians from out of state were hatching plans to move to Montana, establish themselves as senators and sell it all off to their friends for their private vacation homes.
They would be poor stewards of the land and rape its natural resources, as well as claiming an unnatural ownership of land that native Montanans believed belonged to no one but was here for us all to enjoy.
As David thought about what politics was doing to his home, and how broadly applied legal statutes would complicate his situation with Jayden, he just wished people would live and let live and stop trying to own or control all that they could.
A mountain man at heart, David could spend his entire life in "no man's land" this Bitterroot Wilderness on the edge of the Idaho border where one of the last true wildernesses stretched westward and north to Glacier National park, south to Yellowstone.
As much as he loved the wilderness, he loved caring for people too. his chosen career suited him, and only being some sort of park ranger would be comparable to his passion for caring for people.
Back at camp, Jayden had cried himself out of tears and thought about everything David had said.
He was thinking about how stupid he had been to think David would reject him in any way, or to think they couldn't get past it. he thought about how destroyed his beloved would be if anything happened to him.
Dave's big heart was his biggest weakness. He was there for whoever needed him, but with Jayden the need went both ways.
The losses they endured and the hardships to make a stable living and keep each other healthy had already spelled it out. They were partners standing together facing all that the world could throw at them.
When David finally returned, having obviously decided that his thoughts and clearing his head were more important at the time than actually finding firewood, as he came back only dragging one nearby downed limb after an hour and forty-five minutes, he sat on a stump by the fire pit and just enjoyed the silence until Jayden was ready to talk.
"Dave, I thought about everything you said. I know, I have been stupid and made some really unhealthy choices, and I scared you. I think I'm done with that now that we have decided to be honest about the way we feel, even when it crosses boundaries we are afraid of.
I understand that discretion is important, and keeping things light and drama free will help us both. I don't ever want to lose you." Jaden said trying to word things as maturely as he could.
"Oh you are fucking stuck with me baby boy." David said wrapping an arm around Jayden as he blushed deep red.
Jayden continued, "I think we should date other people too. That will make appearances better.
I know you still want to Give this Kev guy a chance. I can share you if you can share me.
I am going to see where things go with Zach too. He is the only one other than you who gives a damn about me. If he is considering coming out of the closet to be with me, I will be there for him, id be damn lucky to have a boyfriend half as sweet as him. We both deserve all the love we can get in our lives, Dave.
Just know that my love for you is deeper than anything I can feel for anyone. That is why I WILL take better care of myself. If I don't, I can't expect you to do the same. I want us to be together for a LONG time."
David was surprised by this after all the jealousy Jayden had expressed that morning.
"Where did that come from. I thought you hated me dating." He asked.
"I hated that I couldn't be there for you... that way. Now I can and will, you will never NOT have somebody to love waiting for you. You don't have to look so hard. Stopping you from finding love with someone else isn't right either. Do you really believe in exclusivity to begin with? It just seems to cause drama for other people's relationships. And if we are both dating someone else, no one will be looking into what goes on between us." Jayden reasoned.
"I don't like the thought of starting out relationships with Kevin or Zach by hiding what we really feel for each other... but until we can be sure we can trust them, there is no option otherwise... they might both be too good for us." David laughed. "I know you and Zach are going to be a thing, so long as you show him you will accept his love, he is ready."
"We will have to lie by omission." Jayden reasoned. "They know you and I love each other, and that we are what most shrinks would call "unhealthily co-dependent", according to the psychology books I have been reading." Jaden said.
"You are reading psyche books?" David asked curiously
"You know I am a nerd, and you know how much I spend on audiobooks... Jaden said. "I want to be a counselor someday... help kids like me who don't have a sweet hunky support system at home." He teased. Jaden did work a lot of hours cleaning gardening and mowing lawns for the old ladies in the neighborhood to pay for his addiction to audiobooks.
"Well when you talk like that it is easy to forget you are only almost 14." David said blushing. "I get it, life grows us up fast when we deal with what we have, I am glad you are thinking ahead... I hope you analyze your own self destructive behavior too." he added poking the boy in the ribs playfully.
"Speaking of head games," David asked shrugging, "How do we get past the awkwardness, I mean... you know? You are just under half my age, and people expect me to act like your dad still." David said, a perplexed look in his face.
"We act it out I guess." Jaden said "People know I don't call you dad as it is, that isn't us, my real father was a worthless worm, I wouldn't feel right, even though the paperwork says you are my father, you aren't the jerk who pretty much raped my mother.
You are my Dave, you saved me. You are my best friend, and I love you. We will keep doing the minimum to keep up appearances. But at home, alone, we be ourselves." Jayden said
"I hate lying, and I am bad at it, so you are going to have to carry that performance." David said.
Jayden kneeled on the ground in front of David and wrapped his arms around him, he laid his head on his shoulder and nuzzled and kissed his neck under his ear and down to his chest.
David wasn't sure he was ready for this, but Jayden knew all the places that drove him to pleasure beyond reason. He had watched how Dave reacted to things other men did to him. He was always an observant little shit.
Jaden's hands crept under David's t-shirt feeling the solid toned muscles of his chest and abs.
David was about to voice an objection to slow things down... but his lips became the resting place for Jaden's, and the passion he felt from the boy was not going to be stifled. Jaden flicked his tongue across his lips and tried sneaking past David's teeth as they kissed but that wasn't happening just yet.
Jayden backed off a bit and looked into his eyes. "I have been wanting to kiss you like that for a long time now." He said.
"I know, I'm trying to relax." David said.
"How about we go in the camper and I give you a back massage?" Jaden asked.
"I'm okay with that." David responded, he had a look in his eyes that said he was more than okay with that.
In the camper, Jaden removed David's shirt and asked his man to lay on his stomach.
Jaden removed all of his clothes, and stripped off the rest of Dave's too.
I decided a full body massage would be more fun." Jaden said with an evil grin.
David was too tired to argue, and needed some sort of massage badly.
Jaden straddled his legs and leaned forward massaging his neck and moved down to his shoulders.
"You know, a massage doesn't always leas to sex right?" David joked.
"It does when YOU massage YOUR dates." Jayden teased.
"That is because by the time I have them on the massage table they are already on their way to the bedroom... it's just foreplay." David said. ` My god he is using my own tricks on me.' David thought.
"I just want you to relax, I have caused you enough stress lately, I want to work on taking care of you, my sweet sexy hunk of man." Jaden said.
"Im not complaining, you are actually really good at back rubs... but lay off the sweet talking, you need to save that for someone who needs encouragement, I'm too old for that crap." David said.
"You are still a fucking stud and you know it." Jayden said, kneading his muscles, moving forward and pressing his boner against David's ass. "I enjoy making your muscles relax, having my hands on your body, releasing the tension that you carry home from work. The only difference is, now it can turn into whatever we want it to." He said grinding his boner between against David's ass cheeks.
David was so relaxed he didn't care what happened next. `Whatever, let the boy get it out of his system, he is a horny little bastard.' He thought.
Coated every inch of David's body he could reach in slippery massage oil, he continued to rub his Man's neck, back, and shoulders more vigorously, taking his time to stop and work on the knots and swollen areas as he bucked his hips sliding his dick back and forth between David's ass cheeks.
"Woah cowboy, no penetration, neither of us is ready for that." David warned.
"I wouldn't do that without asking! I just like the feel of your ass cheeks, doesn't it feel good for you?"
"Best—massage—ever!" David said as Jaden slid back and forth between his cheeks while actually managing to find and loosen muscles in his back.
He had taught Jaden massage techniques out of desperation from the knots he got in his back and neck and shoulders from work. That had paid off, for both of them tonight it seemed. David was rock hard, jus cock dripping a little presume into the sheets as the mattress in the old truck bed bounced from the movements of the boy riding his ass.
As Jaden felt himself getting closer to orgasm he laid his whole body molding against his man's back, grabbing onto David's shoulders as he thrust his hips sliding his cock in his sexy crack.
His whole body shuddered and tensed as he let out 4 spurts of his thin creamy looking cum on David's backside.
He massaged his cum into David's ass crack and onto his back and hips.
"After we tenderize the hunk of meat, we glaze it in our special sauce." He joked, doing his best Martha Stewart impression. Laughing at his own sick twisted humor.
"You only get away with that this once because I am too relaxed to be grossed out." David said.
David was normally a little squeamish when it came to cum play, he would swallow it if he REALLY liked a guy, because he thought that was just part of a proper blow job for gay men who were in an intimate place in their relationship.
He would do a lot of raunchy things when he came close to blowing his load. He even fantasized about fucking someone who already had a load in them, but rubbing the stuff all over was too gross even for him under normal circumstances. These were anything but normal circumstances, and they did not have much options for cleanup anyway.
David was just enjoying the experience of being ravaged and his sore tense muscles being loosened with such care and passion, he was enjoying everything too much to care who and what was being used.
Jayden added more massage oil and continued the full body massage, caressing and carefully kneading every muscle in David's lean body.
"I do love you, my little masseur." David said.
"You didn't think I was going to jizz all over you and then forget about finding the job did you?" Jaden asked mocking offense.
"They usually do." David said.
"I just love you more than the other boys you let ride your ass." Jaden said.
"You better." David said.
After a few more minutes, Jaden asked Dave to roll over and let him massage the other side. He kissed and caressed his man from his forehead down to his feet, teasing his nipples and testing boundaries.
He already knew where David was ticklish, but he found that in this state of ecstasy even those areas were relaxed and open to his touching and kissing and nibbling.
He gave his man a foot massage, undoing the damage of hours spent on his feet at work, then he moved up his legs massaging everything.
"My hands are cramping up" he said as he got to David's groin.
"Of course they are." David said smiling as Jaden used his mouth and chin and jaw to massage the areas of his inner thigh and up to his crotch, teasing his balls and crotch before taking them into his mouth and pulling on his loose scrotum gently with his lips and teeth.
"That feels amazing," David said "You can pull harder, it stretches more when you get older, don't be afraid, just be gentle with the jewels." He said.
"Do you shave them all the time, or just when you have a date." Jaden asked.
"Every couple days, otherwise it gets itchy and getting past that stage is irritating. That is also why I wear the form fitting underwear. Keeps `em separated from my legs and cock when things get prickly.
Not fun having a cactus down there, stubble is a bitch. Moisturizer helps, but still... if your boyfriend prefers `em hairy, just do a little grooming to keep it even... if he likes smooth... well, keep it from getting uncomfortable."
"Are guys actually picky about that?" Jaden asked.
"Not usually, unless they love giving blowjobs and playing with them. it shows them you care if you do special things though Usually if they shave theirs, it means they like smooth ones, if they do a lot of manscaping, they aren't looking for Chewbacca. As long as you keep things shaped up and decently groomed no one will really be deterred unless they are looking for a total bear or otter.
My one rule is, if I am dating a redhead... they don't to shave anything but the scrotum. I have a fetish. Kev is a hot little ginger, you will see soon enough."
Talking about his other man got David a particularly hard tug on the skin, which he imagined Jayden thought was unpleasant, but he was so wrong.
Jaden giggled a little as he played with David's stretchy scrotum skin and suctioned the tender nuggets into his mouth, each getting a thorough massage from his eager tongue.
David was moaning in pleasure, he played it up a bit to delay the inevitable moment when Jaden as going to focus on his cock. He was nervous about that.
It was a step that would mean that he was fully letting the young man service hum, and after his orgasm, he knew he would have some guilt any conflicted feelings.
David also knew that that step had to come soon, Jaden had desired and waited for this moment a long time, keeping it all bottled up. He knew he wanted Jaden back to his old self, relieved of his repression.
David wouldn't deny Jayden the opportunity to please him any longer. He knew the boy was in love, and had lusted after him and kept it inside for too long. He would never reject his sweet precious boy or deny him hid heart's desire. He would never pressure gum or coerce him either.
David was willing to deal with his own issues after the fact so long as Jayden knew he would never be denied the expression of his feelings which he so desired.
As Jayden worked his way to the head of his erection, David closed his eyes and let his sense of touch be his world. He wasn't ready to see the boy bobbing up and down on his cock. That was too much for him at this point. He focused on one thought.
"Someone who I LOVE with all that I am is trying to become one with me, taking me inside him, tasting my essence, consuming me, and it feels purely blissful."
That thought, and Jayden's worship of his erection and testicles brought him to orgasm, and his boy sucked in every drop of his male essence, licking and kissing every surface of his genitals.
David then moved jaden back flipping him onto his back and swallowing his thin young 6 inch cock with ease and getting him to his second orgasm in an hour within a couple minutes, swallowing his sweet boy seed before letting his cock retreat from his suckling lips and pulling his boy into his chest in a close embrace.
Jaden found his favorite place in the world again, his head on David's chest as he felt their souls melting into each other, he listened to David's heartbeat slow to a normal pace as he drifted off into a blissful slumber.
After he recovered from his echaustion, he heard david's stomach growl, and they both laughed.
"I had you for lunch... but breakfast feels like it was a century ago."
After they both took a leak on a tree, they started cooking the smoked sausages they had brought for dinner, and they discussed how their new life together would begin, how to keep eachother safe and out of trouble, and how to handle their potemtial boyfriends.
They also discussed their own past ecperiences in sometimes embarrassing and humorous detail, there wasn't much they didn't already know about eachother, but this dialogue was umfiltered and honest in a way they could only be with a true soul mate.
The next afternoon, Sunday at 1pm, David had to go in to work so they would pack up camp in the morning and get home with time for him to freshen up.
Jaden didn't want to return to the real world. He and david went down to the nearby lake after dark and swam, floated, and fooled around, groping and kissing in the dark, then they laid out on the shore and looked up at the stars when they weren't ogling and caressing each other's moonlit bodies or making out.
When they were both too cold to keep from shivering they climbed back up the hill and through the dense trees to their campsite and climbed into their camper bed under the heavy blanket and slept together that night as two men in love.
David thought about how he felt about their situation before sleep overtook him. ` All I can ever do is love this boy, I have never been able to do otherwise, so what, our roles and dynamic changed today, I love him even more, and can express it in new ways... he is my world, and apparently I am his too. I am okay with that, even if the world is not. He is my sweet sexy angel, and I wont see him hurt or repressed again. Never again will he feel the need to hide his feelings from me. I will be his, forever and always, as long as he wants me. None, more than I, can love this boy. We are one.
Jaden had no thought or worry on his mind. He had all he could want and he was clutching it in his arms. He listened to David's heart beat.
`I will be careful, we will always be one, nothing will ever come between us again. None, more than I, will ever be able to love this man the way he deserves to be loved.'
As they held each other, feeling like they couldn't possibly hold on tight enough or be close enough physically to express on the earthly plane the truth of how their souls felt, the two guys had one common thought.
`None can ever love you THIS way, None, more than I.
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NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR;
I feel like I could end this series here, but that would leave the reality of a relationship like theirs sorely under-represented.
This is where the dream ends and real life will enter the world these two are creating between them.
They have pledged themselves to each other, but their world will include some other amazingly sweet and interesting characters.
They will find that their love is not shunned and hated by everyone. They will find that the changes their relationship brings about in them will be noticed and appreciated by everyone who knows them. they make each other the best they can be, and together, there is no challenge they cannot face.
I have other stories I will update before returning to this one, but keep an eye out for Chapter 4 entitled "Our Other Lovers"
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http://m.nifty.org/nifty/gay/young-friends/missing-pieces/1
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