Date: Thu, 22 Feb 2024 16:59:40 +0000 (UTC) From: Harry Broom Subject: Return to Barcelona 23 gay/ adult youth This is fiction and for adults. Don't read it if it is illegal to read it where you live. Please donate generously to Nifty to keep the stories coming. Return to Barcelona 23 Klaus in Hamburg I'm Klaus Hoffman, I have been reading for PhD in rock art in Johannesburg and returned to Germany to contact my family. For those of you who don't know, I grew up as a Jehovah's Witness and was cut off from my family when I came out as gay. I got off the train at Hamburg Central Station. It had been a while since I'd been in Germany, things looked very familiar, but the station seemed cleaner than ever, and it was good to experience German efficiency again. I pulled my bag along and had a carrier bag in my other hand with gifts for my grandmother. I was stopped by Jehovah's Witnesses in the arrival hall. I recognised one young man. "Jurgen how are you?" He hesitated for a moment. "Hullo Klaus. I haven't seen you in years. What are you up to?" I briefly told him about my studies in Barcelona and that I was now studying in Johannesburg. Jurgen had remained with the witnesses and had studied accounting. He was very handsome, blond, and slightly taller than me. I had a flashback to one of the Jehovah's Witness Church conferences where we slept over. There was separate accommodation for adults and for the children. I stayed in the boys' dormitory. I was thirteen and there were only four boys in a large room. I climbed into bed wearing undies and a T-shirt. Jurgen switched the lights off and we spoke in the dark. After about half an hour the room grew silent. Jurgen was 15 at the time. He sneaked over and climbed into my bed. I was a little startled, but he put his finger on my lips and whispered that I should keep quiet. Next thing I felt his hand in my underwear, and he gripped my dick and started to masturbate me. I was immediately hard. He then took my hand and moved it to his hard penis. My heart was beating like mad, and I was trembling because of the thrill. This was something I had fantasized about a lot. We masturbated each other until we ejaculated, and then Jurgen kissed me on the mouth and then snuck off to his bed. It was a long time ago and I always remember that night fondly. I asked Jurgen if he still saw my family and he said he did. I told him that I was hoping to see them and that I would be staying with my grandmother. We exchanged numbers and agreed to meet again. He looked me in the eye and shook my hand, I felt like hugging him, but I knew that this would not go down well with the other witnesses. I took a taxi to my Oma's apartment. It was great to see her again. She hadn't changed, her blue eyes were sharp and alert, and she warmly embraced me. She had a bedsitter on her enclosed balcony where I put my bag down. She had made a pot of tea, and we sat catching up on my life and hers. I showed her photographs of my friends and some of the places where I had been. She told me that my parents and siblings were totally involved in the work of the Jehovah's Witnesses and that she very seldomly saw them. She agreed to arrange for me to meet my mother. Later that evening I got a message from Jurgen. He was living in apartment with two other witnesses and wanted to know if I wanted to come over on the weekend when his flatmates would be away. The next day I met my mother at my Oma's apartment. I think she was glad to see me, but it was an awkward moment as I didn't know if I should hug her or what. She gave me a light kiss on the cheek and said that she was happy to see me. She had aged and was completely grey. We sat on the couch and told her about my studies. She told me about my father and siblings, my father was a leader in the Witnesses now and my siters were both studying. I asked he whether I could me them, and she said that it wasn't a good idea. The more I spoke to her the angrier I got, my mother was totally brainwashed, and her heart appeared to have been washed as well. I glanced at my grandmother who rolled her eyes. I never forgot that when my family found out I was gay they quickly shunned me and did it in the name of love. This included most of my family. They reasoned that the expulsion would encourage me to return to the congregation, but I never magically became straight or put on a meeting suit again. As my mother spoke, I realised that I was still shunned and that there would be no reconciliation. The Church was more powerful than her love for me. At the end of the afternoon, she shook my hand and said goodbye. I met Jurgen the next day at his modest apartment. It was sparsely furnished, very clean and had no pictures on the walls. The open plan kitchen was spotless, and you would never guess that three young men inhabited this environment. Jurgen and I sat opposite each other. I told him about my studies and about the relationships I had with other men. I told him about Adam and Tom, and our shared living arrangement. He was totally engaged and asked many probing questions. Jurgen told me about two ex-Witness friends of his died because of substance use connected to their shunning. The first funeral was Eric's, who drank himself to death. He'd been a DJ, so I and his other unbeliever friends gathered in a nightclub to celebrate his life, the one the Witnesses had robbed him of. They poured their grief into speeches on the dancefloor. The Witnesses call all non-members worldly and paint them as uncaring, hateful and selfish, but it's a shame that Eric's worldly family held a memorial while his own family didn't. A few months later, Witnesses presided over Jurgen's friend Han's funeral, which meant that no one spoke about who he really was – just platitudes about the coming new system. Jurgen saw himself as gay and was deeply closeted and didn't want anyone to find out. The guys he lived with never suspected that he was gay. "I envy you Klaus. You have followed your dream and lived freely. I wish I had the courage to break free from this world, but I'm too embroiled. And I don't think I will be able to survive the shunning." "I wasn't easy Jurgen, especially not having contact with my family. Reversing the effects of my childhood indoctrination is ongoing for me. My studies have helped to broaden my worldview, and the friends I have made along the way helped me overcome the deep loneliness. There's no religious apocalypse to get in my way anymore, and I feel in control of my future. But don't get me wrong this is still not an easy journey for me. My mind was very fucked up by religion." Jurgen began to sob. I got up and went to sit next to him on the couch and put my arm around his shoulder. He told me how lonely he was, and how conflicted he was. I hugged him and suggested that we go out for a bite to eat. We continued our conversation in a restaurant where he was more relaxed. I ordered a beer for him, and he reluctantly drank it. He asked me to stay the night and I texted my grandmother to tell her that I wouldn't be home. Jurgen kissed me as soon as I closed the apartment door and we stripped and climbed into the shower where we kissed under the strong jet of water. Jurgen was sporting a serious boner when we dried ourselves after showering. He turned away from me and changed into his sleep shorts which made it even more obvious. My cock responded and I was hard too. "Jurgen, can I help you out with that boner" I asked, trying to break the ice. "That would be great," he said and moved closer to me. I removed his sleep shorts and began to suck his beautiful seven-inch dick. He rested his hands on my head and groaned with pleasure. His dick tasted slightly different from the others I had sucked recently. I reached my hands around and squeezed his butt cheeks. He asked me to fuck him. I used some Vaseline to lube my cock and his hole. He liked lying on his stomach, and I massaged his hole. I penetrated his hole easily and I moved in and out. He knew how to use his arse muscles and it felt good on my dick. He squirmed with pleasure when my dick hit his prostate. I came quickly, and he came quickly too. We lay on the bed for a while kissing, and he snuggled into my body and asked if he could sleep with me for the night. We were up early and shared the shower to save water. Jurgen appreciated our time together, but he wasn't ready to leave the Witnesses. I suggested he call me on WhatsApp if he needed to talk things through. We enjoyed scrambled eggs on toast and I hugged him and left. It was Sunday morning and he suited up for a service at the local Kingdom Hall. He would join friends in the afternoon and hand our pamphlets in the park. After spending four more days with my grandmother, I booked a ticket to return to Johannesburg. Even though my grandmother was fit and in good health, she wasn't young, and I wondered if I would ever get to see her again. My research relied heavily on Daniel Allen Cox's brilliant new book a memoir-in-essays "I Felt the End Before It Came."