Date: Thu, 20 Apr 2006 15:06:26 -0700 (PDT) From: rimpigfl Subject: RIDE THE WHIRLWIND DISCLAIMER: This story is not true. The feelings are. DEDICATION: To Dawn, Bob in Illinois and in Memory of Buddy. RIDE THE WHIRLWIND by RimPig 2006 When I was eleven, my Mom got married - for the first time. She had gotten pregnant with me when she was seventeen and a senior in High School. To put it bluntly, Mom had no idea who my father was. It would seem that Mom had been a 'Wild Child', into 'partying' and generally driving her own parents around the bend. So much so, that when she turned up pregnant with me, they basically threw her out and disowned her. After all, they had three other, older daughters who were all "Perfect" - at least to my Mom's parents. The fact that their youngest daughter was willful and disobedient just didn't fit into their idea of a "picture perfect" family. This all I learned later. At any rate, Mom, when she found out she was pregnant and homeless, suddenly did a complete 'about-face' and became extremely responsible. It seems the idea that she had me growing inside her really changed her. She went to live with some friends who were kind enough to take her in. She went back to school and graduated and then moved on to Technical School to gain a way to earn a living for herself and me. The technical training took two years and, during that time, Mom worked at any job she could find to put a roof over our heads and food in our stomachs. She never talked about it, but I got the feeling that sometimes there was no food for her, that she sacrificed her own needs for me. She eventually finished Technical School and graduated with the highest grades in the class. There was nothing unusual in that. Mom was really smart. What was unusual was the technical training she had excelled in - motorcycle repair. It seemed that there was still, buried inside her somewhere, some remnants of that 'wild child' she had been before she became a mother. She loved motorcycles. She owned a classic 1990 Harley-Davidson FIST 1340 Heritage softail which she'd found wrecked in a junkyard and completely restored to it's 'cherry' condition. I loved to ride on it with her. Mom was a good motorcycle rider but, like most motorcycle riders, she loved speed. When she cut loose the engine on that thing, it was like riding a whirlwind! Mom went to work at a Harley-Davidson dealer and quickly worked her way up to head mechanic. In the mean time, she saved every penny and within four years of graduating from Technical School, Mom opened her own motorcycle shop, which she named after her favorite movie - "Blazing Saddles". I spent many happy hours in that shop, watching Mom work and, when she added more mechanics, spending time with the guys who worked there as well. It was in the shop that Mom met the guy she would eventually marry. His name was Mike and he was a Marine, on leave and home for a month. Mike owned a classic Harley ElectraGlide that he had stored at his parents house. Since it had been stored for over a year, Mike had drained the fluids from it and now needed it checked over to see that it was okay for riding. I think he was a little shocked at first when he found out that Mom was the owner of the bike shop as well as the head mechanic. However, what probably endeared him to Mom right off the bat was that he asked her if she would do the work herself since he wanted the best. It was hard for some guys to see that a woman could be the best when it came to being a mechanic. I know that Mike asked her to go out with him for dinner that first night because she had another little surprise for him. She had agreed to meet him at the restaurant and he was waiting for her when she pulled up on her Heritage softail. However, what I don't think he was prepared for was the sight of me, her ten year old son riding on the back. Looking back now, I'm sure that Mike envisioned that evening as a very different sort of date than he ended up with but he took it well. We all had dinner and then took a ride up to Pleasant Point, a park that had a bluff that overlooked the whole valley where the town was situated. Mike even let me ride on his bike on the way there while Mom followed on hers. They didn't do anything that night but talk...and talk...and talk. I was soon very bored but I could see that Mom was really enjoying herself so I managed to keep myself busy throwing rocks over the wall at the edge of the bluff, seeing how far I could get them to fall before they hit the ground. One thing I did overhear was some concern on Mom's part about Mike's age. It seems that he was two years younger than Mom at twenty-four. For some reason I couldn't understand at the time, this seemed to be a big deal to Mom. I know that Mike worked very hard at convincing her that two years really wasn't any difference at all - which was exactly the way I felt but didn't say anything. That was the start of it. For the next month, while Mike was on leave, they spent every night together - thankfully without me. This is not to say that I didn't see anything of Mike. It seems that besides loving motorcycles, Mike and I had something else in common - loving to fish. This was not something that I shared with Mom who basically saw fishing as a boring, useless activity but since our little cottage had a pond out back where I would spend hours with a bamboo pole and line, she just came to accept it. Mike, on the other hand, was an avid fisherman. He got Mom's permission to take me to a nearby lake for the day one Saturday. I was surprised when Mike showed up in a pickup truck with a small boat on a trailer behind it. Since our only vehicle was the Harley, I figured that was true of Mike as well but he explained to me he needed the truck to pull the boat. We spent the day fishing on the lake, one of the happiest days I could remember for a long time. Perhaps, at this point, I should describe Mike. He was a really big guy - six foot four inches with lots of muscles from exercise and working out, a narrow waist and thick, sturdy, muscular legs. His hair was a dark red and curly. He had intensely blue eyes and a smile that sent chills through me and gave me goose-bumps. I had liked him almost from the first minute I'd met him and he seemed to like me a lot. It really hurt a lot when the day finally came that he had to return to the Marine Corps. I know it hurt Mom, too. She walked around distracted and grumpy for days after he'd left. In fact, she'd just about gotten back to normal when, two weeks later, Mike rode back to the cycle shop. It was a Saturday and Mom was completely taken aback when she saw him. I guess she really loved him, too because right in front of all her mechanics, she threw her arms around him and they were locked in one of those sloppy, grown-up kisses that you see in movies. It kind of shocked me because I never figured that Mom would do that kind of thing. Mike had come with what, for us, was wonderful news. His Marine Corps enlistment was up and he had gotten out. Now he only had one thing on his mind - getting Mom to marry him. It took her a day or two to finally give in and say "Yes" but she had both Mike and me working on her. I knew that Mike made her very happy but, more importantly, he made me very happy! I know that sounds selfish but if you'd ever been a boy who grew up without a father, you'd understand. Mike was everything I had ever dreamed of in a father and then some. There was one strange thing, though. He would never let me call him "Dad". He was always Mike. He explained that since we were only fourteen years apart in age, he couldn't have been my father. In fact, it would have been more than likely that he would have been an older brother to me. That made sense to me somehow so, even though I really thought about him as my Dad, I always called him Mike. Their wedding was a pretty big one filled with a lot of motorcycles! Most of Mom's customers, including several biker groups, as well as her whole staff turned out for the wedding. Mike's parents came but only stayed for the ceremony and didn't act happy at all about the wedding. I found out later that they felt that Mom wasn't good enough for their only son. This caused a real rift between Mike and his parents that lasted for quite a few years. The bride and groom, of course, took off for their honeymoon on their Harley's. With one addition. That's right, Mike and Mom both insisted that I go with them. We rode several town over where they had booked a suite for the weekend in a rather large hotel. The suite had two bedrooms, one for them and one just for me. Because it was summer, I spent all day swimming in the hotel pool and generally had breakfast and lunch with Mike and Mom. Dinner they had by themselves while I got to order room service and pay-per-view movies to watch. All in all, it was a pretty great weekend for me. I'm sure it was even better for them. At Mom's insistence, Mike came into the cycle shop business, taking over keeping the books and dealing with customers, leaving Mom to do the one thing she truly enjoyed, fix motorcycles. I don't know if most couples could live and work together without there being some kind of friction between them but I can honestly say that Mom and Mike never had a fight over anything. They were way too much in love for that! At the same time, they still managed to have time for me. Mike still took me fishing though now, sometimes it was for a whole weekend where we'd pitch a tent and camp out - just the two of us. I remember the first time this happened. He and Mom had been married maybe a month when Mike suggested the trip. I was thrilled and Mom said that it was important for her 'men' to spend time together, getting to really know each other. Now, since I didn't have a father and Mom wasn't into this kind of thing, I had never been camping in my life. I really had only a vague idea of what it was all about. I knew you slept in a tent but that was about it. By this time, Mike had already bought me real fishing gear - a good rod and reel along with a tackle box full of lures and other things. Mike and I took his truck, along with his boat and headed off early on Friday morning. We didn't go to the lake we usually went to but a different one that was farther away. This was a lake that was on land that was owned by a friend of Mike's who let him camp out there whenever he wanted. Mike pitched the tent and then made a fire pit with rocks. I helped to unload the truck which had food and a cooler with Cokes for me and beer for Mike. By the time we got everything set up, it was time for lunch. Mike made sandwiches and we ate them sitting on the small beach area by the shore of the lake. When we were done eating, it was really hot so Mike suggested that rather than fishing, we take a swim in the lake. "But I can't." I said, sadly. "Why not? Don't you know how to swim, Todd?" Mike asked me. "Oh, yeah! I know how to swim. I just didn't bring a bathing suit with me." I explained. "Oh! Is that all!" Mike chuckled. "Well, I didn't bring a bathing suit either. I've never worn one in this lake." "What do you wear?" I asked, confused. "Well, do you know what skinny-dipping is?" he asked. "No." "That's swimming with nothing on at all. That's how I swim here." he smiled. "But...but...won't people see us naked?!" I exclaimed. "You see any people but us around?" "No...." I said, hesitantly. "And there won't be. Remember this is private property. Nobody's allowed on it. Remember there was that gate we had to open to get in?" "Yeah." I said. "And remember I locked it again once we were in?" Mike asked. "Yeah." "Well, unless somebody has a key, they aren't getting in so there's nothing to worry about. After all, it's just us 'guys' here. We ain't got nothin' we need to hide from each other." he grinned. I wasn't so sure about that. Nobody had seen me naked since my Mom had when I was a baby. But I wasn't about to be 'not one of the guys', so I stripped out of my clothes, all the time watching Mike strip out of his. I have to admit that I was very curious about what Mike looked like naked. I think at that point it was just normal, boyhood curiosity about what men looked like all grown up. Well! Mike was DEFINITELY grown up! I had never in my life imagined anything as big as Mike's cock hanging limp between his legs. Of course, I'd never seen another cock other than my own at that point so anything bigger than my tiny little two inches was going to seem huge. However, I later figured out that Mike wasn't just huge to my young eyes - Mike was really quite huge! Quite a lot bigger than is the norm for adult males. Actually, he was not far from the norm for adolescent horses! I think Mike saw me staring at him and I guess he figured that I was curious because he slowed down and waited for me to finish taking my clothes off while standing in such a way that I could get a really good look at him. We finally dove into the cool, clear water of the lake and spent a couple of hours, horsing around, splashing and dunking each other. Mike showed me how to dive off his shoulders and then let me do it about twenty times. He was not only big, but really, really strong! I especially noticed this when he took to picking me up and tossing me into the water. He could really make me fly through the air! And I wasn't all that small. I was, at that time, five foot tall and weighed about one hundred and twenty pounds. I had my Mom's blond hair and green eyes and I had already lost all of my 'baby fat'. It was obvious, however, that I had not hit puberty. We spent the afternoon swimming and then hiking around the lake. When evening came, Mike built a fire and cooked dinner for us. He'd brought cans of beef stew and chili and canned fruit for dessert. It had been a tiring day and before long, Mike put out the fire and we went into the tent. It was a dome tent so there was some room to move around in, but not much. Mike, of course, because of his height, couldn't stand up in it but I could. Mike spread out two sleeping bags and got undressed and slid into one. I was shocked that he was naked. I had never slept without clothes and had no idea that anyone did. I wasn't, however, about to admit that so I got naked as well and slid into the sleeping bag, just like I slept raw every night of my life. Mike said goodnight and we went to sleep. At least, for a while. I don't know when it was, but I was suddenly awakened out of a sound sleep by noises outside the tent. It sounded like some kind of wild animal getting ready to attack us! I hated myself for it, but I was so scared, I screamed just like a fucking little girl! This woke Mike up who leaped out of his sleeping bag, grabbing me in his arms and asking what was wrong. I told him about the noise outside and he went out to investigate. He came back in a few minutes and told me to come outside the tent with him. I hesitantly emerged from the tent. Mike pointed to the truck and then shined a flashlight on it. Suddenly I saw several pairs of bright eyes shining in the night. It took me a moment to recognize them for what they were - racoons! The racoons had been trying to steal food from the truck but the only thing that they could get to were canned goods which didn't attract them at all. At the sight of Mike's flashlight, the racoons began running away from our camp and back into the woods. Mike and I went back into the tent where Mike took the two sleeping bags and zipped them together making one big one. He then slipped back in and held the bag open for me. I slid into the bag and realized that we were both laying there beside each other naked. I was a little uncomfortable with this at first but, when Mike turned out the light, he reached over, putting his arm around me and pulling me to him. It was the single, most incredible feeling I'd ever had in my life - to be held in his warm, strong, muscular arms against his large, strong body! All of a sudden I had the one thing that had always been missing from my life but I didn't know it - the affectionate, protective touch of another male! It was a good thing that Mike had already settled down to sleep because I was utterly speechless at the feelings that I was experiencing! One thing I noticed was that my cock boned steel hard! It had been doing that a lot lately. I didn't know what to do about it. I just usually let it go away, which it eventually did but it was taking longer and longer for that to happen. With Mike's arm around me and his smooth, muscular body against the back of me, I somehow knew that this woodie wasn't going away that night! I also noticed something else - Mike's scent. I could smell the scent of his body - the warm, pungent scent of a male. Something I'd never smelled before and something that I totally loved the minute I noticed it! It was totally intoxicating to me. In fact, it make my little cock even stiffer, if that was possible! Yeah, I knew what was going on with my cock was called: hardons, stiffies, woodies, boners or, the more formal, erections. What I didn't know is what they were all about. What they were for. I really wanted to ask someone but there was no one to ask. The only one I felt close to was my Mom and there was no way in hell I was going to discuss my dick getting stiff with her! Now, I had Mike but I was too embarrassed to ask him about it. Little did I know that the answer was coming very, very soon. It was the next morning in fact. I awoke with my little cock as hard as it had been when I finally got to sleep the night before only that wasn't what woke me up. What woke me up was the pain of something hard but spongy sticking me in the back. I turned slowly, not wanting to wake Mike who still had his arm around me. I could hear his soft, slow breathing telling me he was still deeply asleep. I looked down to where the pressure against my back was coming from and nearly gasped in shock! It was Mike's cock - as hard as mine! But longer and fatter than I ever expected a cock to be! It was, to my young eyes, massive! In fact, even later, when I had grown a cock nearly as big, it still seemed massive to me. I didn't know what to do. There was something about seeing Mike's hard cock and feeling it pressed against my body that sent exciting jolts of feelings through my body which I couldn't explain and had never felt before. I was totally fascinated by Mike's cock but I had no idea why. It was only later in my life that these feelings began to make sense to me. I didn't know what to do but, for some reason, I didn't want to break the connection of his cock against my body nor be without his warm, muscular arm around me so I quietly just lay my head in the crook of his shoulder and closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep. Luckily, Mike woke up a few minutes later. I was still laying there with my head in the crook of his shoulder and his arm was still around me and his hardon was still pressed against me, just above mine. Mike seemed to notice all this and looked at me sheepishly as he pulled his body back so that his hardon was no longer pressing against me. "Hey, buddy, I'm sorry about that! But it's just something that normally happens to guys in the morning. I notice you've got one, too." he smiled. "Yeah...." I said, desperately wanting to ask him about it but embarrassed at the same time. Finally I very quietly said, "I don't know what it's for, though." Mike looked at me strangely. "Hasn't anybody told you?" he asked. "Well...no. I didn't have any guy to ask and I sure didn't want to ask Mom!" I explained. "Oh, I see. Well, if you want, I'll tell you what it's all about." he said. I looked at him with deep gratitude. "Oh! Would you? Please!" I begged. "Sure, buddy. But first I gotta go piss and get rid of this thing. How about you?" he asked. I realized that I did indeed need to piss - desperately! We left the tent and walked naked a few yards into the woods where we both let go of our streams. That was one thing I loved about camping - just pissing without having to aim or anything. Just let go! It felt really free to be able to do that. I did notice that Mike's stream was a lot thicker and harder than mine. It arched into the air higher and went further than mine but, then again, I realized he was a grown male and I was still a boy. We went back to camp and Mike lit a fire and made coffee on the rekindled fire. He then brought out some breakfast bars and we sat around the fire, still naked, eating. When we finished, Mike looked at me. "Okay. I guess the first thing I need to do is ask you what you already know. Do you know what your penis is called when it gets hard?" he asked. I told him all the words I knew for it and he grinned. "Well, I think you've got that pretty well covered. So, do you know anything about sex?" he asked. "No." I answered. "Just that it's something that grown-ups do." "Well, that's not exactly true. You see, people, especially guys, really start having sex when they're about your age - they just don't understand that it's sex that they're having." Mike said. I looked at him in confusion. How could somebody have sex and not know it, I wondered. "Let me explain. Usually the first kind of sex that any guy has is called 'masturbation' or 'jacking-off'. Have you ever heard of that?" he asked. "I've heard guys at school talk about 'jacking' but I have no idea what they're talking about. I just knew it was something dirty by the way they were talking." "Well, there's nothing dirty about it. It's the most normal and natural thing in the world. All guys do it almost all their lives. They don't like to admit that, but it's true." Mike said. "Do you do it?" I asked and Mike blushed. "See! I told you guys don't like admitting it but, yeah. I do it. Though not so much anymore." he smiled. "Why not?" I asked. "We'll get to that, okay?" he said. "Okay." "Now, jacking of is when you take your hand and stroke your cock gently while it's hard. This makes feelings happen in your body. Really intense feelings. You finally 'climax' or 'orgasm' or, as most guys call it 'cum'." Mike explained. "Why do they call it that?" I asked. "Well, you see, when a guy 'cums' he actually shoots 'cum' or 'semen' out of his cock. It's white, milky stuff that makes babies." he said. "It does?!" I exclaimed. He spent about the next two hours, explaining the male and female physiography to me as well as where babies came from and how guys got women pregnant. He told me that I was probably too young yet to shoot cum but that I would be able to 'get off' anyway which would feel really good and would get rid of the hardons that kept me awake at night. That was, however, until I inadvertently asked a question which really caused some consternation in Mike. "But how do you jack-off? Could you show me?" I asked. Mike looked at me with his mouth hanging open in shock while he got very red in the face. "Damn! I was afraid you were going to ask that. Don't you have some friends who could show you?" he asked. That's when I got very silent and looked away from him. The fact was, I didn't have any friends. I was actually very shy and avoided other kids. I just sort of drifted through school, getting average grades, staying out of trouble and, basically, being as invisible as I could be. I don't know why, but I seemed to always know that there was something 'different' about me from other boys and I knew that, above all, I never wanted them to find this out because being 'different' was about the worst thing you could be! The problem was, I had no idea what this 'difference' was and wouldn't for several years yet. "Todd, what's the matter?" I felt Mike's huge hand gently touching my shoulder and his voice was gentle and sympathetic. "No. I don't have any friends." I said. "I've never had any friends. And please don't ask me why because I don't know. I just don't." "Okay. I understand." Mike said quietly. "So will you show me?" I asked again, looking at him. "Yeah, buddy. I will. But you gotta promise me something." Mike said, his voice very serious. "Okay, what?" I asked. "You gotta promise not to ever tell anyone that I did this. Especially not your Mom. This is...well, it's a 'guy' thing and women just don't understand." Mike said. "You mean like how Mom can't understand fishing?" I asked. "Yeah! Just like that." Mike smiled. "I guess the best way to teach you is to just show you and you do what I do." With this, Mike took hold of his cock and began stroking it gently. It quickly got hard and I got hard just watching him. I reached down and started stroking my cock just like he was doing. I was still amazed at the size of his compared with mine, however. I only had somewhere between four and five inches when I was hard and, from what I could tell, Mike had at least twice that in length and was probably at least five or six times thicker than mine was. But Mike's next statement really shocked me. "Nice cock you got there, buddy." he said, evidently watching me as I stroked it. I looked at him strangely. He couldn't possibly mean that! I was way smaller than him! "It's not anywhere near as big as yours is." I said. "But I'm grown. You're only eleven. My cock was about that big when I was your age. Maybe a little bigger but I already had hair around my cock then." he smiled. "Oh! So I'm not so small?" I asked, the relief showing in my voice. "No, buddy. You're good sized for your age. Trust me, you'll grow. You'll get hair around your cock and you'll start shooting cum soon enough." Mike continued to stroke his cock and I suddenly noticed that there was some kind of clear liquid coming out of his piss-slit. At first I thought it was piss but it seemed to be thicker than piss as it slowly slid down the head of his cock. "Mike, what's that?" I said, nodding towards his cockhead. "Oh, that's called 'pre-cum'. It's like this liquid the body makes to lubricate your cock so that when you fuck it's not dry. It makes your dick slide in and out of the woman easier." he explained. "Oh. I won't make that either?" "Not for a couple of years yet, probably. But you don't need it for a long time yet so don't worry about it." he said. We continued jacking on our cocks and I was getting feelings that I'd never felt before. They were getting so intense I could barely stand them! Finally, I felt like I was going to piss uncontrollably and stopped. "What's the matter?" Mike asked, stopping as well. His voice somewhat strangled, as if stopping was a great effort for him. "I was going to piss!" I said. "No, buddy. You were gonna cum. That's what it feels like when you first do it. Keep going, you won't piss." he grinned. "Are you sure?" I asked, not wanting to be embarrassed, pissing uncontrollably like a baby. "I promise, buddy! Have I ever broken a promise to you?" he asked. "No." I said. That was one of the things I loved most about Mike. I could trust him completely. He never told me lies and never broke promises to me. I started jacking on my cock again and Mike did as well. I was just getting back to the place where I could feel like I was going to piss when, all of a sudden, it was like an explosion in my cock and balls! The pleasure ripped through my body and I just about passed out from it! At the same time, Mike started grunting loudly and I looked over at him just in time to see all this white stuff come shooting out of his cock and all over his chest and belly. This must be the cum that he had been talking about. I noticed that there was a starchy smell to it that I could sense just sitting across from him. Then I looked down at my cock and noticed that there were two drops of clear liquid on my bare pubic mound and my piss-slit had a small drop of clear liquid on the tip. Mike looked down as well and began chuckling. "Well, it looks like you came after all!" he grinned at me. "Really?!" I exclaimed. "That's cum on you, there." he said, pointing to the two drops on my pubic mound and the one on my cockhead. "Well, most likely pre-cum, anyway. So, what did you think?" "Oh, geez! It was the best thing I ever felt in my whole life!" I exclaimed. "Yeah. That's why guys do it all the time. Especially when they're young. Later on you'll have sex and you'll find out that is even better. But, for now, this is still pretty good." he said, grinning at me. I looked into his beautiful blue eyes and said the only thing I could think of saying at that point. "Thank you." "Hey! No problem , buddy." he said, reaching out and ruffling my hair. "Now let's jump in the lake and wash off." We spent the day fishing, swimming and cooked dinner that night over the open fire. This time, it was fish we'd caught ourselves that Mike had cleaned, showing me how to do it as he worked. I suddenly realized that there were so many things, so many 'guy' things, that Mike had to teach me. I was so grateful that my Mom had married him! That night, Mike went to make up the sleeping bags and looked over at me. "How do you want to do this, buddy. You want them separate or do you want me to zip them together again?" he asked. I looked at him and quietly answered, "Together." Mike smiled back and did exactly that. I think he understood that I was an eleven year old boy who'd never had any kind of male affection in my life and I truly needed this from him. And he was more than willing to give it to me. There were many more fishing trips and over the next three years I did a lot of growing. I grew hair around my cock and my cock got a lot bigger, just as Mike had told me it would. I also started shooting cum when I jacked off. I gained height to where I was almost five foot, ten inches tall. It was just after my fourteenth birthday, however, that several things happened that would change my life forever. The first two were a 'private' traumas for me. I finally figured out what it was about me that was different from other boys. It was the fact that I wasn't the least bit interested in girls which all the other guys seemed to be going nuts over. Worse, I quickly figured out that not only wasn't I interested in girls but it was other guys that I was going totally nuts over. I grown up hearing the words 'gay' and 'fag'. I just never realized that those words pertained to me. At the same time, I figured out that I had some very strong feelings - both sexual and emotional - for one 'guy' in particular. That guy was Mike. At first I just tried to dismiss my feelings for him as being those for a father or brother. But I wasn't very good at kidding myself. I knew what I was feeling. I just decided that what I needed to do was bury those feelings as deep as I possibly could and never, ever let him find out. While it wasn't the easiest thing in the world to do, I was determined that I would never let him know how I really felt about him - no matter what. The third thing was by far the most devastating but you wouldn't have guessed that when it started because it seemed like nothing at the time. Mom, who was never sick a day that I could remember, started complaining about headaches. This went on for several weeks until one day, she couldn't even get out of bed, her head ached so badly. It was then that Mike, over her objections, put her in his truck and drove her to the emergency room. I didn't know about any of this until I got home and found a note from Mike telling me that he'd taken Mom to the hospital to have her headaches checked out. I was worried but figured that everything would be all right. However, when it kept getting later and later and still they hadn't come home, I started to get really worried. It was well after dark when I heard Mike's pick-up pull in the driveway. Mike came in, looking very worried and depressed. He took one look at me and walked over and put his arms around me, hugging me close to him. It had been a while since he'd hugged me and, while I loved the feeling and the scent of him, him doing this scared me more than anything. I pulled back out of his arms and looked him in the eyes. "Mike! What's wrong? What is it? Is Mom okay?" I practically screamed at him. "Come on, buddy. Let's sit down. I really need a beer." he said, leading the way to the kitchen. Mike went to the refrigerator and took out two beers. I was quite startled when he opened them both and lifted one to his lips and drank and then put the other one down in front of me! He finally sat down and just looked at me. I picked up the beer bottle and took a small drink from it. I didn't think it tasted very good but I wasn't about to show that, considering that this was kind of like a 'right of passage' into manhood. But what I was waiting on was Mike to tell me what was going on. "Buddy, I don't know how to say this so I'm just going to give it to you straight the way the doctors gave it to me. Your Mom has a tumor in her brain. They aren't quite sure right now what they're going to do about it because it's in a place where they can't operate and cut it out. They're thinking of either radiation or chemo-therapy. Maybe both." Mike said. "Is...is she going to die?" I asked quietly, almost not able to get the words out. "Buddy, I wish I knew. I kept asking the doctors the same thing but nobody would give me a straight answer. They all kept talking about percentages and shit like that." he said and then he lowered his head. I didn't notice for a few moments I was so lost in my own shock, but when I looked over at Mike, his shoulders were shaking and there were tears dropping onto the kitchen table. I didn't know what to do so I did the only thing I could think of. I got up, went around the table and put my arms around him. At this, he rose up, turned and grabbed me in his arms, putting his face against my chest and held onto me like I was a life raft in a stormy sea. I wrapped my arms around him and basically did the same thing while we both shed silent tears. We stayed like that a good long time. Then Mike pulled out of my arms and looked at me. "I should make dinner or something but I just don't feel like it." he said. "Don't worry about it. I'm not hungry." I said. "I'm just gonna go to bed." he said and headed up to his and Mom's bedroom. I turned off the lights and followed him upstairs. I went to my room and stripped down. Ever since that first fishing trip, I'd slept naked just like Mike. Mom never said anything but I guess she figured that it was his influence and, since she wanted me to have a male influence in my life, she must have decided that not having to buy me pajamas anymore wasn't such a bad thing after all. I turned out the light and lay down on my bed but I couldn't sleep. I couldn't even rest. I knew what I wanted at that point but I was somewhat scared to ask for it. After all, I was fourteen years old and fourteen year olds weren't supposed to need to sleep with 'mommy and daddy'. But I was hurting so bad, so scared of what was going to happen to Mom that I didn't care. I got up and walked into Mike and Mom's bedroom. I could see him laying there, his arm thrown over his forehead but his eyes wide open. Mike looked at me. "Can't sleep either?" Mike asked. "No. Can I...well...can I..." I tried to get it out but it wasn't coming. Luckily, Mike knew immediately what I was trying to ask. He lifted the covers and nodded his head towards the bed. I quickly walked over and slid under the covers with him. He reached out and put his arms around me, pulling me to him. I lay my head on his chest and put my arm across his body. We lay there, in each other's arms, holding onto each other, not saying a word. Somewhere in the night, I finally fell asleep as, I'm sure, Mike did, too. When I woke up in the morning, however, I was alone in his and Mom's bed. I could hear noise downstairs however and the smell of coffee brewing in the kitchen. I went to the bathroom and pissed and then went to my room and pulled on a pair of jeans and walked downstairs. I found Mike sitting in the kitchen, drinking coffee and just staring off into space. I looked up at the clock on the wall and noticed that it was already a quarter past eight. I was already fifteen minutes late to school and I hadn't even showered yet. "Uhh...Mike, can you give me a ride to school? I'm late." I said quietly. Mike looked up at me for the first time. "You're not going to school. I already called them. I figured you couldn't keep your mind on things any better than I could so you might as well go to the hospital with me. We need to see your Mom and we need to talk with the doctors. Some of the testing is due back today so we should know something about how they intend to proceed." Mike said. I could see from the circles under his eyes that he hadn't gotten much sleep last night. I walked over and put my hand on his shoulder. He surprised me by turning and putting both his arms around my waist, pulling me to him, resting his head against my stomach. I reached down and gently stroked his hair. 'God! How I love this man!' I thought to myself. I knew I would do anything to help take the pain he was feeling away but there was nothing I could do but be there for him - just as he was trying to be there for me. I realized that over the last three years, Mike had become not only my Dad and the older brother I never had but my closest friend as well. I just prayed that he never found out how I really felt about him. When we got to the hospital, we went first to see Mom. It was a shocking sight to see her in a hospital bed, tubes running out of her arms and the sight and sound of machines which kept track of her vital signs all around the bed. She looked very pale and drawn but she smiled when she saw us walk into her room. She and Mike talked quietly for a few moments. Mom was concerned about me not being in school. Mike gave her the same explanation he'd given me, that I wouldn't pay any attention to what was going on in school while she was laying in the hospital anyway so it was best for me to be there. But he added something that somewhat shocked me. "Besides, babe, I need him. He's helping me hold things together rather than coming apart at the seams." he admitted. At these words, Mom smiled at me and reached out her hand for me. I grasp her hand, noting that her grip which was usually so strong was half of what it usually was. "My little man! You've always been my rock, do you know that, Todd? I relied on you more than I should have but there was no one else. I'm so glad that you and Mike are caring for each other. I know because you're males, you won't ever say it to each other, but I know that you love Mike almost as much as I do and I know he loves you." she said. At these words, I almost lost it. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes but I was bound and determined not to fall apart. I think it was then that I made the decision that, no matter what happened, I would not fall apart. I would be there for Mike. Little did I know what that was going to mean. The doctors finally decided that the tumor was not only inoperative but trying to reach it by radiation would destroy too much brain tissue, most likely making Mom a vegetable, if she even survived it. What they decided to do was to begin an aggressive regimen of chemo-therapy. What it turned into was almost two years of living hell. Along the way there were small improvements that quickly turned into bigger setbacks. Finally, the tumor was just too strong and began to spread throughout her body. Almost two years to the day that they diagnosed the tumor, Mom slipped into a coma that she never recovered from. She went quietly three days later. Mom's funeral was probably the most unusual that the town had ever seen. Over five miles of motorcycles made up the cortege accompanying the hearse to the cemetery as over a thousand bikers from all over the area came to pay tribute to Mom. There was no limousine because Mike and I rode Harley's with them. Mike rode his and I rode Mom's. I had turned sixteen by that time and Mike immediately had taken me to get my driver's license which included a motorcycle license. Mike, of course, had taught me to ride. In fact, he'd started when I was fifteen. The morning of the funeral, Mike informed me that Mom's bike was now mine. I should point out that six months before Mom's death, Mike, despite his insistence that I not call him "Dad", did become my father. He officially adopted me and changed my last name from Wilson (Mom's maiden name) to Kelly (Mike's last name). This was because we all knew that Mom was not going to survive and so, to make sure that Mike had all parental rights for me once she was gone, they pushed through adoption for me. Now Mike and I were officially father and son. Unfortunately, there were three groups of people who did not attend Mom's funeral. Neither her parents, her sisters or Mike's parents were there. Mike and I talked about this later and decided that, as far as we were concerned, there was nothing that these people could ever do to make up for this slight. As far as we were concerned, we were the only family we had or needed from then on. The months after Mom's death were hard on both of us but I realized it was harder on Mike than on me. I had lost my Mom but I still had Mike. Mike, on the other hand, had lost his wife and lover while still having responsibility for her child. Of course, by this point, I wasn't much of a child anymore. I had grown to six feet tall and had been working out with Mike for two years as a means of stress relief while we were going through the dark days of Mom's illness. I now had the same kind of muscle development that Mike had. I was also helping out at the cycle shop where Mike was running things and I was helping out with the motorcycle repairs. I had already decided to go to Trade School after High School and become a motorcycle mechanic just like Mom had. But there was one area of my life that still was a mess. I still hadn't really come to terms with my attraction to guys or my love for Mike. While I had been getting looks from girls at school, that wasn't what I wanted. If there were looks from guys, I wasn't aware of it. Of course, I don't know what I'd have done if there had been because I wasn't interested in any of the guys at school. I was only interested in Mike. I was in love with him and nothing had changed that since I was fourteen. But something was happening to Mike. He wasn't the guy that had married Mom. Since her death, he'd been withdrawn and I could see the sadness in his eyes whenever I looked at him. It seemed like, when it came to living, all he was doing was going through the motions. I don't know what would have happened if he hadn't had me to take care of. As it was, Mike's life now consisted of running the cycle shop and working out with me. On the weekends, he spent most of the day drinking. There were no fishing trips, bike riding, nothing. Finally, after getting up to take a piss one night, I realized that he was crying himself to sleep every night, laying in the bed that he and Mom and shared. That was the night that things began to change. I pushed open the door to the bedroom and climbed into bed next to him. I reached out my arms and pulled him to me, putting his head on my chest and gently stroked his hair while he continued to cry. Finally he cried himself to sleep and I held him the rest of the night. From that night on, I moved out of my room and slept with him every night. Among the things I also did was to get rid of all of Mom's clothes and personal effects. I also repainted the room and did what I could to change it so that Mike wouldn't be constantly reminded of her. How I figured out to do these things was simple. I had read every book that our high school library had on recovery from grief. The great thing was, it all seemed to work. Within a couple of months, Mike actually came to me and suggested that we go camping at his friend's lake again. It was a wonderful weekend. We talked a lot. Some of it was about Mom but a lot of it was about us. Mike even brought up teaching me to jack-off all those years before. I was somewhat embarrassed by the memory of watching Mike jack his huge cock while I pulled on what I considered my little one. "I remember telling you that your cock would grow and I notice that it has." Mike grinned. He could see that from the fact that we were sitting on the beach of the lake naked after swimming. He'd also probably noticed my morning hardons when we woke up together in the mornings. I had noticed that while Mike still had them, I didn't know if he'd done anything about them since Mom died. I kind of got the feeling that he had abstained from any sex since her death because I noticed that as we talked, his cock began to lengthen and harden. My cock answered by getting hard as well. "Well, it looks like we both need to jack-off." Mike said, quietly, looking directly at my hardon. "Damn, you did grow, didn't you!" I blushed red at this. "Just like you said I would." I said. "How big is it now?" Mike asked. "Last I measured, it was eight and a half inches." I said proudly. "Yeah and quite thick now, too." Mike remarked. "Uhh...do you think we could...well..." I sputtered. "Yeah, I guess we could. After all, it's not like we haven't done it before." Mike smiled. "Besides, I haven't done anything in a while." That confirmed for me what I had thought. Without any further discussion, Mike began to stroke his hard cock. I quickly joined him and noticed that we were both watching each other, staring at each other's cock as we jacked off. It didn't take long, I guess because it had been so long for Mike and I was so turned on watching him, for us to spew our cum on our chests and abs. Where the first time we'd done this, I was able to produce only two little drops of pre-cum, now I produced a good amount of thick, white cum. Mike, on the other hand, just about covered his chest and abs with a huge amount of cum. Indeed, I would almost bet that he hadn't jacked off since Mom had taken ill. "Damn!" Mike said, looking at the amount of cum that covered his chest and abs and mine as well, "I guess we both needed that!" "Yeah. I guess we did." I said quietly. I know I needed it. I also know that I wanted a lot more. I wanted to not just look at his huge cock, I wanted to touch it. I wanted to put it in my mouth and taste it. Indeed, I wanted to lean over now and lick all of his hot, white cum from his body. I wanted to taste every inch of his body. I wanted to feel him make love to me. I wanted to feel his cock reaming out my ass as he pounded it into me. That was a relatively new thought for me. I had begun to discover the joys of my own ass over the last couple of months. My usual place to jack off, since I was sleeping with Mike and didn't have the privacy of my own bed, was in the shower, usually after we got home from the shop. While I was taking care of business one afternoon, I happened to move my hand down from where it was caressing my balls to slip under them and into my ass-crack. My fingers brushed up against my hole and the feelings that they caused were definitely intense. Because my fingers were soapy, one of them easily slid into my hole. That felt even better! In fact, it felt so good, my finger had no more slid all the way into my ass than I was shooting one of the hottest and biggest loads I'd ever shot. Over the next few weeks, I'd expanded the number of fingers I could ream myself out with until I had four of them in my hole. Then I began to search for longer things to reach up inside where my fingers couldn't reach. I discovered a number of items right in the bathroom that worked well for a while. But I kept trying to find bigger and longer. I guess I was unconsciously picturing Mike's cock sliding into my hole, "cornholing" me as some of the guys I'd overheard at school called it. I had recently made the momentous discovery of the possibility of produce. Cucumbers to be exact. I was wandering around the grocery store one day, picking up some snacks and things when I happened to wander into the produce aisle. I picked up some oranges, apples and seedless grapes. However, I happened to pass by a display of cucumbers of all sizes. Some long and thin, some short and thick, some both long and thick. I suddenly put two and two together and ended up buying several of them which I couldn't wait to try out! I had been able to comfortably accommodate the first two I had purchased. However, where the third one was concerned, I had tremendously over-estimated my capacity. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't relax enough to get the sucker in my ass! I realized that it was damned near identical to the thickness of Mike's cock which, now that I was sleeping with him, I was extremely familiar with in it's erect state from seeing him in the morning, his morning wood leading the way as he headed for the bathroom to piss. I was back at the grocery store the next day, buying more cucumbers but being very selective this time in getting sizes that were just enough smaller than Mike that I could eventually work my ass muscles into relaxing enough to finally take him. Of course, this was all just fantasy for me. I truly had no hope of Mike ever making love to me. After all, there were two things standing in the way of that. One was that Mike was gradually getting over Mom's death but it was still slow going on that front. The other was that, as far as I knew, Mike was not into guys. Oh, jacking off with a buddy maybe. He'd mentioned doing that when he'd taught me to jack off. But actually fall in love with another guy? No, I didn't think so. Not to mention the fact that, even if he was capable of loving another guy, it most likely wouldn't be the 'kid' he'd raised since I was eleven! It would probably be someone his own age. I kept telling myself this stuff, over and over again, trying to get myself to stop hoping and give up any idea of my feelings for Mike ever being returned in anywhere near the way I hoped. But I found out the hard way that it's a hell of a lot easier to change your mind than your heart. Your fuckin' heart just won't listen to reason - not no way, not no how! The rest of that weekend went okay. Each night when Mike would make up the sleeping bags, he'd zip them together without even asking. He knew I was going to sleep with him. I have to think that somehow he looked forward to it. Certainly, ever since that first night that I slipped into his bed and held him in my arms while he cried, not one word had been spoken between us about it. I just showed up in his bed the next night and every night thereafter. And every night, we fell asleep with Mike's arm around me and spooned up to my back. That weekend also started a pattern with us. Once or twice a month, we'd take off for the lake and do some fishing, swimming and somewhere along the line, jack off together. Again, it was nothing that we talked about. It's just something we did. We never touched each other, just looked - looked very intensely. When I started back to school in the fall, I was given the opportunity to move into a "Vocational Track". This meant that I went to my regular high school for the morning and then to the Technical School for the afternoon. This meant that I got to enter the motorcycle mechanics program a year early. Now I did more at the garage than just help the other mechanics. Some of the simpler repairs were turned over to me. I was proud to be pulling my own weight around there finally. After all, I felt like I owed it to everybody since I was, technically, half owner of the shop. In Mom's will, she left the shop and our house equally to Mike and me with the stipulation that my portion of the shop's profits were held in trust by Mike until I turned eighteen, which would happen a short time. There was also a life insurance policy which listed both me and Mike as beneficiaries, again with Mike as trustee for my portion until I was eighteen. From what Mike told me about the money, when I turned eighteen, I was going to be a rather wealthy eighteen year old. But it didn't matter to me. What the fuck good was money when the one thing you wanted more than anything else in the world couldn't be bought? It was early spring of my senior year and I was just about to turn eighteen when Mike sat me down at the kitchen table one night after we came home from the shop. I could see that he was really excited about something which made me truly happy because I hadn't seen Mike like this since before Mom got sick. "I got a phone call just before we left the shop. It was from my old friend Rich out in California." Mike said. Rich was a guy that Mike had grown up with who's family was very rich. They had moved to California about the time that Mike had joined the Marine Corps. It was Rich's family's land that the lake where we fished and camped out was on. "Rich has agreed to sell me the land where the lake is. It's the last piece of land his family owned here and they had thought of developing it some day. But Rich got them to give it to him so that it could be kept from being developed. That it would remain wild. Or, at least mostly so. I plan to put a small cabin on it so we don't have to sleep in a tent anymore and we can go there year round if we want to. What do you say to that?!" Mike exclaimed. "I say that's great news, Mike! How big a cabin were you planning on?" I asked. "Nothin' huge. I figure we just need the basics. I got plans for one if you want to see it?" he asked, looking like a kid who just asked you if you wanted to see the new model airplane he'd just built. "Sure! Yeah, I'd like to see 'em." I said. Mike almost ran out of the kitchen and was back in a minute with pictures of a log cabin along with a floor plan for it. "See, the main floor has a bathroom, kitchen and great room with a fire place. Above it is a loft that's half the size of the main floor. Plenty big enough for a king-sized bed." Mike enthused. Looking at the floor plan, I realized that the cabin didn't even have the fiction that Mike and I weren't sleeping together the way the house did. I still had 'my room' and, if you didn't look closely, you'd never know I didn't sleep there anymore. The cabin, however, only had the loft for sleeping and, it was significant that Mike was talking about a king sized bed because that's exactly what we slept in together every night. This created more confusion in me. I couldn't understand what was going on inside Mike's head. He never asked me NOT to sleep with him but he'd never asked me TO sleep with him, either. In fact, he'd never talked about it at all, one way or the other. Now, from these plans, it looked like Mike considered it just a natural part of their lives. Or maybe not. Maybe he just figured it was just like camping out where we shared a sleeping bag. I just didn't know. "That's great!" I said, enthusiastically. I'd wondered how long he'd had these plans? Did he have them from before Mom died or after? Had he thought of taking her there or was it just for me and him? I just didn't know and I just didn't know how to bring it up and talk about it with him. I guess I was just as bad as he was about talking about things but I knew it was because I was afraid to. I was afraid to draw attention to the situation for fear that he'd tell me he didn't want me sleeping with him. That was an idea I couldn't deal with! Sleeping with him every night, feeling the strength of his arms around me holding me close to his warm body, smelling his scent surround me - God help me! - it's what I lived for! I had to know something! "Uhh...how long have you had these plans?" I asked as calmly as I could. "About a month. Rich had called and said that his family were on the verge of making some decisions about the property and he thought they might finally be willing to get rid of it. I know I was jumping the gun, but I've wanted that place for so long. I mean, every memory I have of it is good" he said and then he added quietly, "especially the one's with you there." At this, I looked up at him, right into his eyes, in shock. For just a moment, I thought I saw something in them that sent a wave of hope through me. It was a look of deep, intense love but then he quickly looked away before I could be sure. This left me even more confused than ever but, at least I had some hope. The plans were just for him and me. They had nothing to do with Mom. Then I felt incredibly guilty! Here I was, jealous of my own mother! How fuckin' low could I go? But I couldn't help myself. Mom had the one thing I wanted more than anything in the world - Mike's love. Oh, I knew Mike loved me, that he cared about me, but it wasn't that kind of love that I wanted. I wanted the kind of love they'd shared as lovers and mates. And for that, I sent my plea to Mom for forgiveness. I just hoped that somehow on the 'other side' she'd understand how I felt. Mike had me go to the lawyer's office the day that he closed on the lake property. I didn't realize it but he was having the deed put into both our names so that, no matter what happened, one of us would always have it. It was during that meeting with the lawyer that I realized that everything - the house, the business, the lake, everything! - was in both our names, almost like we were married or something. What a strange thought! The contractors broke ground on the cabin within a few days and Mike was assured by them that it would be ready by the end of June at the latest. That would make it ready just in time for my birthday at the beginning of July. July fourth, to be exact. Yeah, I'm a "Yankee Doodle Dandy" as the old song by Irving Berlin says, "A real live nephew of my Uncle Sam, born on the Fourth of July!". Before that, I would graduate from High School. Of course, that wouldn't change a whole lot as I still had another year to go in Trade School before I received my certification as a mechanic but I would be able to switch and go to school at night so that I could work in the shop full-time. Unfortunately, right before graduation was another 'ritual' of High School, one I had been planning on avoiding. One that would have gone by without any effort on my part but, unfortunately, Mike brought it up one night. "Hey, buddy, when's your prom?" Mike asked, one night as we were sitting in the living room watching something mindless on TV. "Uhh...I don't know. A couple of weeks, I guess." I mumbled. "So aren't you going?" he asked. "Uhh...hadn't planned on it." I said, trying to act like I was actually watching the shit on TV in an effort to avoid this whole subject. "Is that because you don't have a date?" Mike asked and I could tell he wasn't just going to let this go. "That's part of it but most of it is I just don't want to go. I'm not interested in shit like that." I said, sounding defensive even to my own ears. "As far as I know, you've never had a date." Mike said, quietly. "Uhh...no." What else was I going to say? It was true and he knew it. What I didn't want to say was that I had no interest in every having one - at least not the kind of 'date' he was talking about. I was afraid that Mike would go on with this whole line of questioning but just as suddenly as he'd brought it up, to my great relief, he dropped it. In fact, looking back on it, it was more like he was trying to confirm what he already knew rather than gather any new information. But why he wanted to do this, I had no idea at the time. Graduation came and went. Mike was there to watch me get my diploma and I think it was in both our minds that it was a day that Mom would have been proud of but, like so much else in our lives, nothing was said. I threw myself into working at the shop and tried not to think about things. I was still sleeping in Mike's arms every night and that was the only thing I cared about at that point. It was about the end of June when Mike got up one Saturday morning and asked me if I wanted to take a ride. I said sure, thinking he meant in the truck but, when we went out to the garage, he got on his Harley. I, got on mine, the one that had been Mom's, and we headed out. I had no idea where we were going but it didn't much matter. It was a glorious day, the sun was shining and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. After a while, I realized where Mike was headed - up to the lake. When we got there, he opened the gate and we rode on to the lake. It seemed strange at first. We'd never ridden our bikes here. We'd always brought the truck because of the boat and the camping stuff. It was also strange because when we got to the lake, everything had changed! There was the cabin, just as Mike had shown me in the drawings. It looked like it was finished but, when we dismounted, Mike told me that it wasn't finished yet, but almost. He unlocked the front door and then stood back to let me go inside first. It was small but it was really nice inside. There was a big room with wood floors that took up most of the space on the ground floor. There was a kitchen off to the left and a door next to it that I remembered from the drawings which must be the bathroom. Against the back wall was a staircase leading up to what must be the loft. The side wall had a huge stone fireplace with built in bookcases on each side of it. All in all, it was quite a nice place. "Uhh...they still need to deliver the furniture. That's coming this week. The electric's already been connected and the pump for the well is running so there's running water. All they have to do is put the cabinets and the appliances in the kitchen and it's done. They've promised that we'll be able to spend the weekend here next weekend. I thought maybe you'd like to, seeing how it's your birthday." Mike said. "That is, if you don't have other plans." I turned and looked at him funny. What other plans could I possibly have? I never had other plans. There was nothing I rather do than spend my birthday here with him. But I couldn't very well say that. "No. No other plans. That sounds great." I said. "Why don't you head up the stairs and take a look at the loft." he suggested. I did and found myself staring through almost a wall of glass at the lake below. The view was incredible. I didn't realize that there was going to be such a large window in the loft, taking up almost the entire back wall. The loft really wasn't anything but a large open space. It had a railing on one end that looked over the main room of the cabin. The ceiling of the loft was peaked like the roof but it had skylights on both sides of the peak. I also noticed another door to the side which, when I opened it revealed a closet. All in all, a very nice place. I came down the steps and looked around for Mike. He wasn't in the cabin so I went outside but he wasn't in front. I went back into the cabin and noticed a door at the back of the kitchen which led to the lake. I stepped outside and saw that the lake, too, had changed. Now, instead of just the small beach beside the water, there was now a boardwalk from the cabin down to the lake which turned into a dock which stuck out into the lake for about twenty or twenty-five feet. Mike was sitting at the end of the dock, his boots off and his feet dangling in the water. I walked out to the end of the dock and sat down cross-legged beside him. "It's a really nice place." I said. He looked at me and smiled. Even after all these years, that smile still gave me goose-bumps. Especially since it had been a while since I'd seen it. "Yeah. It is. I think we're gonna be happy here. Have some really good times." Mike said. "We've always had good times here." I said quietly. "Yeah, we have, haven't we? You have no idea how hard it was to talk your Mom into letting me bring you up here the first time, though! You thought I wanted to kidnap you or something!" he chuckled. "You never told me that!" I said. "Never was any reason to. She was just scared. She'd never been without you since you were born. In those days, you were all she thought of. I think she was afraid that you'd end up loving me more than her because I was able to do things with you that she didn't." he said. I didn't know what to say to this. What Mike didn't know is that it was true. God forgive me, I did end up loving him more but not because of the things that we did together. We just sat there on the dock for a while, each of us looking out at the lake, lost in our own thoughts. I wanted to reach out and touch him but didn't have the courage. We weren't in bed and neither one of us was crying so all of the excuses for touching were missing. I didn't realize then that you don't need an 'excuse' but I thought then that's how the 'rules' were. So we didn't. We just finally got back on our bikes and rode home. I could hardly make it through that week, I was so excited about going up to the lake and staying at the cabin. Friday finally came, however and Mike decided that we would leave right after work. We stopped at the grocery store and picked up all the stuff we would need and then headed off for the lake. When we got there, it was after dark but there was a light on the doorpost beside the front door to the cabin that was on. Mike explained that it was on a light-sensor switch. It came on at dark and went off at dawn. We unpacked the truck and Mike opened the cabin. He reached onto the wall and threw a switch and I was completely taken aback by what I saw. When we had been up the previous weekend, it was an empty shell of a building. Now, it had furniture, rugs, lamps, everything! It was all very masculine. The long couch and two comfortable chairs beside it were of a deep, rich, dark red leather. There was a large braided rug on the floor and dark wood tables holding lamps on each side of the sofa and a matching coffee table in front. There was a taller, longer table behind the couch and, over in the corner was a small dining room table with two arm chairs. The kitchen had gleaming brushed aluminum appliances with dark wood cabinets. I opened the bathroom door to find a very large shower, big enough for two or three good-sized men. I went upstairs and there was a king-sized bed with a bookcase headboard in dark wood along with two night stands with a small brass lamp on each table. The bed was already made with what looked like an antique quilt covering it. Coming downstairs, I found Mike waiting for me. "Do you like it?" he asked. "I love it!" I enthused, grinning at him. "Good! So, are you hungry?" he asked. "So hungry I could eat a whole cow!" I assured him. "Well, we don't have the whole cow but we've got porterhouse steaks. Will that do?" he asked. "Yeah, that will do fine." I grinned. Mike fixed dinner for us and, by the time we cleaned up from it, we were both ready for bed. We climbed the stairs to the loft and got into the bed. Mike, just like at home, slid his arms around me and pulled me against him, spooning to me. I drifted off to sleep feeling his arms around me and smelling his scent, content to be held like that. Well...mostly content. At least I thought so. There was a full moon that night and it came streaming through the window above the bed. I don't know if that's what woke me up or not but I found myself wide awake sometime in the middle of the night. I have no idea what time it was because there were no clock in the loft. I quietly slipped out of Mike's arms and made my way silently downstairs. Naked, I walked out the back door of the cabin and down the boardwalk to the dock on the lake. I sat down at the end of it, dangling my feet in the water and looking at the bright reflection of the moon on the water of the lake. There was something bothering me. Something that had been bothering me for a long time but it was becoming harder and harder to ignore. Here I was, eighteen years old. Tomorrow...well... probably now, since it was after midnight...and I'd never had sex. Never even been kissed properly. I knew I was in love with Mike, but it was becoming pretty obvious that he wasn't in love with me. I couldn't blame him. After all, he was straight. But I knew that I was just never going to find the love that I wanted staying around here. Maybe what I should do was get on my bike and just take off. Head out to California and the big towns of LA or San Francisco. Try to find other guys who I might be able to find love with. Or at least, someone who would kiss me and make love to me. I guess some of it was horniness, but it went WAY beyond horniness. I wanted to know what it was like to have a man be in love with me. I wanted to know what it was like to have the kind of love affair that Mom and Mike had. To be so close that you're almost like one person. I wanted to belong to somebody and know that he belonged to me. I was so lost in my own misery that I didn't hear Mike as he made his way down the dock towards me. Didn't even know he was there until I heard his voice behind me. "Couldn't sleep?" he asked. I didn't look back, just kept staring at the lake. "No." I said. He sat down beside me. He was naked as well and I could smell his scent as he reached over and put his arm across my shoulders. "What's the matter?" he asked. "Nothing." I quickly responded. Too quickly. "Todd, there's a lot of things you do really well but lying isn't one of them. Now, what's wrong." he asked. "I don't want to talk about it. You wouldn't understand anyway." I said, bitterly. "Try me. There's a lot of things I understand that you aren't even aware of." he said quietly. "I want to go away. I want to get out of here and go someplace else." I said. "That's rather sudden isn't it? What brought this on?" he asked. "I just want to go someplace where...well...where..." I couldn't finish. "Where I'm not?" he asked, his voice quiet but I could still hear the hurt in it. I didn't answer. After all, I didn't want to hurt him but, at the same time, I couldn't deny it. After a while he spoke again. "I see...I can't say that I blame you, Todd, but there's some things that I don't think you quite understand. Things that I've wanted to tell you but I couldn't." he said. "Whaa..what kind of things?" I asked. "First of all, I want to tell you that I loved your mother very much. I loved her for her strength and her determination. I see a lot of those things in you, as well. But I also want you to know that your mother isn't the only person I've been in love with in my life. There was someone before her. His name was Collin." Mike said. I looked at him in shock! I couldn't be hearing right! Mike just admitted to being in love with a guy?! "Collin and I grew up together. I don't know when we became lovers exactly. We were both young. Probably around thirteen or fourteen when we finally admitted to each other how we felt about each other. We had enlisted in the Marines together. We were about to leave for bootcamp the next day when we went out partying with our friends from high school. None of them ever knew about us. They just figured we were really good friends. Anyway, Collin got drunk. I should never have let him behind the wheel of a car but it was his car and I was drunker than he was. I don't know what happened. I woke up in the hospital and Collin was dead." he said, sadly. "Oh, Jesus! Mike, I'm so sorry!" I said. "Yeah, well, I got a delay to enter bootcamp but finally went. After all, there was nothing for me on the outside. I never intended to leave the Marine Corps. Then I came home on leave and I met your mother. I never thought that I could love a woman. Shocked the shit out of me! And the fact that she had you just made it twice as wonderful. I truly did love her, but I loved you as well. I wasn't lying when I told you that I was like your 'big brother' because, at first, I did feel like you were my younger brother. And I loved you very, very much. I hope you knew that." he asked. "Yeah. I did. And I loved you, so much!" I said. I was glad that it was dark out on that dock. I was hoping that Mike couldn't see the tears that were leaking from my eyes. "And that's all I really thought is was. But then I started to notice that you began to change. The way you felt about me changed. You don't have to admit it, but I knew it. I knew you were falling in love with me. I didn't know what to think about that or what to do about it. I just figured it was a crush and you'd get over it. I should have known better. Then your Mom got sick and the bottom just fell out of my world. And when she died, there you were. You remind me so much of her, you have her smile and her hair and eyes. But you remind me a lot of Collin, too. Especially in the way that you never make demands, you're just always there for me. And, God help me, somewhere along the line the worst thing of all happened. I fell in love with you." he said. At first I didn't know what to say! He fell in love with me?! "Why the fuck is that the worst thing of all?! What the fuck is the matter with me?!" I almost screamed at him, tears now streaming from my eyes. Mike's arms pulled me to him until my face was all but crushed against his chest. "There's nothing the fuck wrong with you! Don't you see! It's me! I've got no right to fall in love with you! I'm too old for you. You need to find someone your own age to fall in love with. Someone that isn't old enough to be your father." he said, and I could tell he was crying, too. "THAT'S BULLSHIT!" I screamed, pulling out of his arms. "You're the one who told me you weren't old enough to be my father! That's why you didn't want me to call you 'Dad'! I don't want someone my own age! I want you! I've always wanted you! When do you think I fell in love with you? When I was fourteen, sixteen? Huh?! Well, I've got news for you! I fell in love with you the day I met you! And I NEVER stopped loving you! I've slept in your arms almost every night since Mom died, praying that you'd make love to me! Praying that you'd figure out how much I loved you!" And with that, I got up and ran back into the cabin. I ran up the stairs to the loft where I quickly dressed. I came back downstairs to find him waiting for me. "Where are you going?" he asked. "I don't know. Away from here!" I shouted. I tried to rush past him but he grabbed me and held on. I was eighteen but he was still bigger and stronger than I was. "Please! Todd! Don't go! I've fucked this up so badly! I love you! It's not that I CAN'T live without you if you really want to go, but I don't WANT to live without you! I don't know why you fell in love with me but I'm so very fucking lucky you did." he pleaded with me. "Then why the fuck didn't you do something?! Why didn't you tell me that you were in love with me?! Why didn't you make love to me?!" I growled through clenched teeth. "That's exactly what I was going to do tonight! Don't you see, I couldn't do it before now!" he insisted. "Why the fuck not?!" I demanded. "Because, you just turned eighteen about an hour ago! Before that, it was illegal! More than that, I was afraid I'd ruin your life. I didn't want my loving you to hurt you. I figured once you were old enough to know what you were doing, then you could make a decision about what you wanted. It wasn't fair to ask a sixteen year old to do that." he said and then he buried his face on my shoulder. I could feel his arms around me loosen and I wondered what was happening until I felt him shaking. I knew then why he'd hidden his face. He was crying - something he hadn't done since that night almost two years before when I started sleeping with him after Mom died. The anger drained out of me and I reached out, putting my arms around him. "Oh, God! I love you so much and you're such a fucking idiot! You wouldn't have hurt me. You'd have made me the happiest sixteen year old in the entire world." I murmured into his ear. "You'd just lost your Mom. I didn't know if you really were in love with me or you just needed me because I was all you had left." his muffled voice came from my shoulder. "You were all I had left. You just happened to be all that I ever wanted, too. So you were really going to tell me tonight?" I asked softly. "Yes." he said. "Was that all you were going to do? Tell me?" I asked. It took him a moment to answer. He raised his head and looked me in the eyes. "No. That wasn't all that I was going to do. I was going to show you how much I loved you, if that's what you wanted." he said. For the first time, I could finally see the overwhelming amount of love he had for me coming from his eyes. My breath caught in my throat at the sight of it. "Uhh...like you said...I've been eighteen for more than an hour now. We don't have to wait until tonight..." I murmured. His face broke into that grin - that grin that still, after all these years, still gave me goose- bumps. He didn't say anything. Instead, his mouth gently brushed against mine. At least the first time. When I moaned at that, his mouth came down on mine, practically devouring me! Before I knew it, we were locked in a deep, passionate kiss. The first 'real' kiss of my life! I found his tongue invading my mouth, tasting me, practically counting my teeth! Then it withdrew and mine followed it until I was tasting him. It was like nothing I'd ever experienced. I became almost faint from the feelings screaming through my body. He pulled back, taking his mouth from mine and I looked up at him in confusion. "I think that we'd be a lot more comfortable up in the loft." he said, smiling at me. "Oh, hell yeah!" I exclaimed. Grabbing his hand, I began practically dragging him up the stairs. I had my virginity to lose and I wasn't about to wait another minute to get rid of it! More importantly, my fondest dream was coming true! I was going to make love with Mike. The only man I ever even thought of making love with. Since Mike was already naked, he began to undress me. I could have done it more quickly but, luckily, I decided that maybe there was more to this undressing than just getting my clothes off. And I was so right! When Mike went to pull my t-shirt over my head, I raised my arms. He pulled it off and threw it in the corner but his other hand held one of my arms over my head. I couldn't imagine what he was doing until his pressed his face into my armpit. Then I heard him taking deep breaths and moaning. "Fuck! You smell so good!" he said, pulling his face out of my underarm and grinning at me. I looked at him in complete shock! I had no idea that he liked my scent! "What? You thought you were the only one?" he chuckled. "You knew?!"I asked, flabbergasted. "What? That you liked the way I smell? Of course I did! You're a lot of things, Todd, but subtle isn't one of them!" he laughed. "The first time I hugged you, I thought you had asthma or something you were breathing so hard! I quickly figured out what it was you liked. Didn't you notice that I never wore deodorant or cologne around you?" "No. I just never thought of it!" I said, amazement showing in my voice. "So I guess you never figured out that when we slept together, my nose was always pressed to the back of your neck so that I could smell your scent." he grinned. I blushed. "No. I was too busy loving the fact that your scent always surrounded me." I said quietly. At this, he leaned down and kissed me, very gently and then pulled back and looked me in the eyes. "I want to make something perfectly clear. I love you. What I want to do is make love to you. But what happens is totally up to you. Nothing is going to happen that you don't want to happen. If something is going on that you don't feel comfortable about, I want you to say so. Got me?" he asked, and I could tell he was deadly serious. "Yes, I've got you. But I love you and I've been waiting for a long time for you to make love to me. There is nothing that is going to happen that I don't want. In fact, I want it all! I want you to make love to me. I want you every way that's possible." I said, just as seriously. "Well, we may have to delay some things. You've never had sex before, have you?" he asked. "No. You know that." I replied. "Well, there's one thing that happens between males that I think you may have to wait a while for. I don't want to cause you any pain and it can be very painful. Especially your first time." he said. "Oh, you mean 'cornholing'?" I grinned. "Uhh...yeah. Though I don't think I've heard it called that since the Marine Corps!" he said. "You don't have to worry about that. I can take you." I smiled. He looked at me incredulously. "Todd, it isn't as easy as you obviously think it is!" he insisted. "I know that. Why do you think I've been practicing?" I chuckled. "Practicing? With who?!" he asked, his face getting a look on it like whoever it had been was going to wish they'd never been born! "Not 'who'. What." I said. "What?" he asked surprised. "Did you know that there are cucumbers that are even bigger than you are?" I grinned cockily at him. His eyes grew the size of saucers in shock and then he broke out laughing. "I saw them in the crisper and wondered why they disappeared but never showed up in anything! And here I thought you were eating them as snacks!" he laughed. "No. I don't even like cucumbers to eat! But their great for training your muscles to loosen up!" I grinned. "You were pretty sure of yourself, weren't you?" he asked. "No. Not at all. I just wanted to be ready just in case." I said, and then admitted quietly. "Besides...well...I really liked the feelings that they gave me." He grinned at this and took me into his arms again. "You did, did you?" he asked. "Uhh-huh." "Well, let me tell you, the real thing is a hundred times better." he murmured quietly in my ear and then used the tip of his tongue to lick it out. I groaned at this and my cock, which had been hard for what seemed like forever, was making a real mess of pre-cum in my jeans. But that didn't matter for long because Mike quickly had me out of them and naked on the bed. As I lay back, I expected him to join me but, instead, he just stood there looking down at me. I looked up at him questioningly. He just smiled. "You have no idea how incredibly beautiful you are, do you?" he said softly. I blushed at this. "I could say the same thing to you, you know." I replied. He looked at me in surprise, bordering on shock. "It's been a very long time since anyone's said anything like that to me." "You should have just asked me. I would have told you." He got onto the bed, getting over me on his hands and knees, looking down at me. I reached up and put my hands on both sides of his face and then rose up and kissed him. Hard! Then I lay back down and slid my hands down to his shoulders. He leaned down and I thought he was then going to kiss me but he didn't. Instead, he put his mouth on the side of my neck and began to suck and lick at it. I groaned and arched my back at the feelings. I thought he was going to give me a 'hickey', kind of like 'marking his territory' but he quickly moved down my body, using his tongue to paint it with his saliva as he went. His first stop was to move over to one of my nipples and gently suck and lick at it. I almost screamed at the feeling, it was so intense! How the fuck had I missed 'those' while I explored my body while jacking off? Well, basically, because like most guys, I never explored anything above my groin! Down to my balls and my ass but never 'up'! I was moaning and groaning as he went back and forth between both of my nipples, sucking and nipping at them with his teeth. Not hard but with enough firmness to take me right to the edge between pain and pleasure. It was this that made me realize that Mike was not just beautiful but a very skilled and talented lover! I only hoped that I would be able to satisfy him! He kept moving down my body, running his tongue across my stomach, following the ridges and rills of my abs before putting his tongue in my navel and swabbing it out. I actually giggled at that as it tickled! He looked up from what he was doing and grinned at me before putting his head down again and heading 'south' again. I thought he was going to take my cock into his mouth but he by-passed it, moving further down and using his body to spread my legs apart. He lay fully prone on the bed, with his face in my balls. I could hear him taking deep breaths of my scent there in between moans. He obviously did like my scent because I hadn't had a shower since the previous morning so I knew my balls were very sweaty and ripe. But the scent alone obviously wasn't enough for him because, before I knew it, I felt his wet, slightly rough tongue swipe against the wrinkled skin of my nut-sack! Now it was my turn to groan at the exquisite feeling! He licked all over my hairless sack and then moved down again to taste the back of my sack along with that patch of skin between the balls and the ass I later learned was called the perineum. As his tongue licked against it, I felt his hands slide under my knees. I briefly wondered what he was up to but the feelings that were coming from what his tongue was doing didn't give me time to even speculate. The next thing I knew, he had pushed my legs up and back so that my knees were almost resting on my chest and I was practically bent double. That wasn't a problem but it left my entire ass crack open and staring into his face! It was a most embarrassing view for me as I was sure that no one had seen me like this since Mom changed my diapers as a baby! However, Mike was not about to 'change my diapers' but what he was doing, at first I wasn't quite sure. Then I heard him inhaling loudly and realized that his nose was buried in my ass-crack and he was snorting the scent of my ass! I wasn't very comfortable with this because I was worried about...well...you can guess what I was worried about, but I soon had other things to occupy my thoughts because I suddenly felt something wet and slightly rough moving slowly up my crack and across my very sensitive hole! My mind went totally blank for a few moments as I was only aware of the feelings that Mike was generating in me. Then I came back to myself and my mind was off and running, trying to figure out just what in the fuck he was doing to me! It felt like he was licking my ass! But I was sure that couldn't possibly be what he was doing! Nobody did THAT! Did they? I rose up on my elbows and looked down at him between my legs but I could only see from his eyes up. The rest of his face was below my balls. "Mike! What the fuck are you doing?!" He looked up with a grin on his face. "I'm eating your ass. Like it?" he grinned. "Mike, you're kidding, right?!" "Does this feel like I'm kidding?" he chuckled and then his face moved back down and I again felt the wondrously sensuous feeling of his tongue licking my hole! I was lost! I was putty in his hands. From that point on, he could do anything he wanted to me! I lay there moaning, allowing him to feast on my butt and, without even realizing it, I began to slowly relax my opening until I could feel him actually sliding his tongue up inside me! It was at that moment, I swore eternal gratitude to Cucumis sativus, the lowly cucumber! Mike continued to slide his tongue into my butt, moving it quickly in and out, like a small, wet cock fucking me. When he had done this for a while, he rose up to where he was sitting cross- legged between my legs, which he had placed back on the bed, and looked down at me. "I didn't expect to get this far this fast. I guess you really did 'practice'. Just lay there, I have to go downstairs and get something. I'll be right back." And saying this, he hopped of the bed and went flying down the stairs from the loft. I heard him rummaging through the boxes we'd brought in from the truck and then I heard him hurrying back up the stairs. I saw a plastic squeeze bottle in his hand filled with some kind of clear liquid. He got back on the bed grumbling to himself, "If you'd just waited until tonight, I would have had this up here!" I chuckled a him and he gave me a sheepish grin. He then sat back down on the bed between my legs and flipped open the top of the bottle. "I need you to hold your legs back the way I was doing." he said. I immediately complied, opening my ass-crack to him again. He poured some of the liquid onto his fingers and began applying it to my ass. It was obviously lube and, as he proceeded to anoint my hole with it, he began to slip his fingers inside as well. I think he was a bit surprised at how quickly my hole stretched open for him and how many fingers he was able to get inside me. As soon as he had two all the way in, he began hunting for that wonderful internal joy-spot called the prostate! I'd discovered it when I began shoving different items in my hole. I also discovered that cucumbers, sliding in and out of your ass over it could produce orgasm almost without jacking off! When he'd successfully gotten three and finally four of his fingers inside me, smoothly sliding on a glaze of lube, he began to anoint his own cock, slathering it generously with the liquid. He then rose and moved over me so that my legs now were no longer held back by my hands but supported across his shoulders as he planted his arms straight down, his hands resting on the bed beside my shoulders. "Take a deep breath and let it out." he said as I felt the blunt end of his cock rubbing against the opening to my body. I did as he said and as soon as I began to exhale, I felt his hips thrust forward and his cock press into my opening. There was only a moment of resistence and then his cock slid smoothly inside me until I felt something tickling the lips of my hole. It suddenly realized that it was his pubic hair and he was buried balls deep in my ass! "Oh, fuck!" he groaned as my ass-chute wrapped itself around his cock. "Yeah! Fuck me!" I moaned, the feeling of fullness inside me so familiar and welcome - and yet so different! No, his cock didn't feel like a cucumber. It felt like nothing I'd ever felt inside me before. It felt BETTER than anything that had ever been inside me! I looked up into his eyes and I saw him staring down at me, hunger and lust radiating from them. I realized that every time I'd ever been 'fucked', no matter what I'd shoved up my ass, I was always in control. This time, I had NO control! I suddenly understood the meaning of the word 'submit' because that's what I had done. I was submissive to this man and to his cock. It was only the fact that I loved him beyond words and knew that he loved me kept me from totally freaking out at that moment. I think he must have seen the fear in my eyes as these thoughts ran through my head because his gaze suddenly softened and he smiled gently down at me. "Don't be afraid. I'm not going to hurt you. Trust me, you're going to love this." he said softly and then he grinned down at me. "As well prepared as you are for it, there's nothing you need to do but relax and enjoy it. Hey! I'm the one who's going to be doing all the work here!" I didn't answer. I couldn't. My emotions were so overwhelmed by the realization that Mike was finally inside me! We were what I wanted, one person. Instead, I reached up and gently stroked his cheek. God! How I loved this man! The feelings of loving him were so intense, I thought my chest would explode any moment! But then he started. Just slowly at first. Slowly drawing his cock out about an inch or two and then, just as slowly, gliding back inside me. He kept this up, never speeding up until he had almost his entire cock pulled out of my hole before slowly, exquisitely slowly, shoving it back deep inside me. I groaned loudly, the pleasure was so exquisite! The feeling of his long, thick cock sliding deep inside me felt nothing like using a cucumber! I never realized the feel of the power of a man fucking me would be so different - and so intense! However, I had no idea of Mike's true power until I looked up at him and begged... "Please! Fuck me! Fuck me HARD!" At that, his hips began slapping hard and fast against my ass, making loud slapping noises as he growled deeply. I could only lay there and moan mindlessly. Never had I ever felt anything like this! It made my own efforts at fucking myself like the difference between a bicycle and a Harley! I couldn't believe what was happening to my body. I was holding onto his arms to keep from being shoved off his cock so I wasn't jacking on my cock. He wasn't touching it either. In fact, nothing was touching my cock and yet I knew that within a few moment I was going to blow my load without any other stimulation than Mike's cock ramming in and out of my ass! "I'M GONNA CUM!" I shouted out. "YEAH! CUM FOR ME! CUM FOR ME, TODD!" Mike growled back as he slammed his cock harder and faster into my hole. I looked down between my legs and just watched in amazement as my cock rose up off my abs and began spewing shots of cum over and over and over again! I'd never cum this much or this hard in my life! Some of the shots actually went over my head and most of it fell across my face, including my open mouth, my neck and my chest! When I finally stopped cumming, there was cum covering me! But my cumming didn't finish things. Mike was still pounding my hole as he hadn't cum. I don't know how I knew what to do but I clamped down hard with the muscles in my ass around his cock. I heard him scream out and then I felt his cock begin to jerk in my ass. "FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!" Mike screamed out as he filled me with his cum. Mike's body jerked along with his cock until finally, he collapsed over me, his cock still buried in my ass. I held him in my arms as he tried to get his breath back. He was sweaty, as I was, and the scent of him, and of our sex, was strong. I thrilled at it. We lay there for a long time, neither of us saying a word. I think we were both overwhelmed by the intensity of what had just happened. I know I was. I could feel Mike's huge cock still buried in me and still hard with no signs of softening. I couldn't believe it but I actually started hoping he'd start moving and fuck me again. Even though I'd just gotten off, shot the biggest load I'd ever shot in my life, I was still hungry for him. I had years to make up for, years of lonely frustration wanting him and I wasn't about to stop at just one fuck! I began clenching the muscles inside my ass just as I'd done when I wanted him to cum. I heard him groan. "Fuck! Todd! Don't do that!" I chuckled softly. He rose up and looked down at me. "You fucking little horndog! I just got done fucking you not ten minutes ago! Don't tell me you want it again!" I just grinned at him impishly. "Well, if you want it that often, you better buy yourself some more cucumbers because I gotta have time to recover!" he growled, slowly sliding his cock from my butt and rolling off me to collapse on the bed beside me on his back. I moved over and curled up to him, my head on his chest. He put his arm around me, holding me to him. I could smell his scent as I could feel his sweaty chest against my cheek. I could also hear the thumping of his heart with my ear pressed against his chest. I think I was the happiest I'd ever been in my life at that moment. "Thank you." I said softly. "There's no need to thank me. I wanted you as much as you wanted me." he said. "No, I didn't mean the sex, though that was wonderful. Thank you for loving me enough to finally tell me. Thank you for always being there for me. Thank you for stopping me from making a huge mistake by leaving." He turned on his side and looked at me. "Todd, you don't need to thank me for any of that. Falling in love with you was the easiest thing that ever happened to me. Loving you, I'll admit, was probably the most difficult thing I've ever done in my life but love oftentimes isn't very easy." he said. "What do you mean?" I asked, confused. "I mean that loving you meant not giving into all of my natural desires to want to make love to you. Knowing that's what you wanted me to do just made it a hundred times harder. I'm sorry that you don't understand why I had to do what I did, but I knew I couldn't live with myself if I did anything else." "No. I think I do understand. I think you were wrong but that was because you didn't trust me enough to talk to me about it. I wanted to talk to you but I knew you wouldn't. You never said anything. And I was scared to bring it up for fear that you'd reject me." I said. "You can't really mean that! Why would I reject you?!" he asked, clearly shocked at what I was saying. "I had no idea if you would or not. That's what was so scary about it. I knew you let me sleep with you but I had no idea why. I had no idea if you really wanted that or you were just doing it because you thought that I needed it. I was afraid to bring it up for fear that you'd stop sleeping with me and that's all I had of you." I said. He just lay there, looking at me. He didn't say anything for the longest time and I couldn't read the look on his face. "You're right. I should have talked to you. I should have at least tried to find out what you were feeling and let you know what I was feeling. I guess I'm not too comfortable with talking about feelings." he admitted. I started chuckling. "What?" he asked. "Mom would have said, 'Typical male!'. I guess I'm the same way." We lay there, him holding me and gently stroking me, occasionally kissing my forehead. There was one more thing I needed to talk about but it was the scariest of all. "Mike..." I finally asked hesitantly. "Yeah?" "How do you think Mom would have felt about...well...about us? I've felt really guilty because I was so jealous of her for having you." "Was this before she died?" he asked. "No. I never felt that way when she was alive. I don't know why. I just accepted the fact that you two loved each other. Of course, I wasn't very old then. Maybe I would have been eventually." "I really have no idea. I would like to think that she'd be happy that we both found love - even if it was with each other. Do you remember the night she died?" he asked. "Some of it." I said. "Do you remember one of the last things she said was she told me to take care of you and then she told you to take care of me?" "Yeah. I remember that." "Well, maybe it's not the way she envisioned it, but we are doing that. We are taking care of each other." he smiled down at me. "And we're going to keep on doing that?" I had to ask. I had to be sure. "As long as you want to." he smiled. "Oh, I'd say at least another fifty years or so!" I grinned. And saying this, I rose up and kissed him. He was wrong. He didn't need any time to recover. THE END OF RIDE THE WHIRLWIND If you liked the story, please write me at rimpigfl@yahoo.com This is, by my count, my 71st story on the Nifty website. If you'd like a complete listing of them, write me and I'll be glad to send it to you. I NO LONGER HAVE A NOTIFY LIST!!! Instead, there is now a Yahoo Group that you can join where you will find links to all of my stories and the illustrations to BUDDY SYSTEM and to DANGEROUS MARINE. I will ONLY Notify people who are members of the group about my new stories. To join the group, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Rim_Pigs_Stories/ I also have a "blog" called THE PIG TROUGH where I do more serious writing about life and everything in it. You can reach it at http://www.livejournal.com/users/rimpig/ As always, I ask if you liked the story to make a contribution to Nifty to keep the site running and free! Thank you. RimPig