Date: Wed, 11 Feb 2015 20:12:21 +0000 (UTC) From: Jamie W Subject: Seal of Confession Seal of Confession "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned." "How long has it been since your last confession?" "Fuck if I know." The St. Vincent School for Boys was keeping with the times,or so its headmaster liked to believe. The school that had long been knowncity-wide for an enduring (and excessive) devotion to the dustiest oftraditions was now flinging its doors open wide to the twenty-first century. Fewer catechism classes, more modern literature courses; coat and tie now required only four days a week; the annual school play could finally be something otherthan Shakespeare, maybe even a musical. There was even talk of issuing laptopsto students, but the headmaster drew the line at this. He did, however, signoff on the idea of holding confession outside of church, in various spotsacross the school's many acres of lush grounds. It seemed to him a perfect wayto revive interest the one of the Church's most vital sacraments. Studentswould happily flock back to penance, he thought. And just in case they didn't,he made it mandatory. So it was that Andrew Wilcox and Father Simon Harton foundthemselves on opposite ends of an old wooden bench resting atop a small grassy hill. Spread out below them, the junior varsity baseball team stretched andchattered away under the warming sun of an early spring afternoon. "Excuse me?" "Sorry, Father, I just figured..." "Figured what?" "Figured this was, you know, more casual that the usual dealin church." "It's the same sacrament as always, Andrew. Please." "Got it. Sorry." "It's alright. Continue." "Right...I forget what comes next." "Hmm?" "I forget the prayer or whatever." "There's no prayer yet. Have you made an examination of yourconscience?" "A what? Oh, you mean the stuff I've done. Oh, I get it. SoI just go right into it, then?" "Yes. Please." Andy paused for a moment and furrowed his brow as if in deepthought but also smirking almost imperceptibly. "What do you want to know?" "Hm?" "What kinda stuff do you want to know? Like, all stuff orjust the really bad stuff?" "All your sins, Andrew. Don't play dumb. I know you've donethis before." "We'd be here all fucking day." "Language!" "Sorry. But it's true." Father Simon sighed. "Start with what weighs heaviest in your mind." "Like, what makes me guilty?" "Not necessarily guilty." Andrew paused a moment and turned his gaze away from FatherSimon. Out on the practice fields the boys we were up off the grass and doinglunges and knee-highs across the outfield. He turned back towards his confessorand the smirk disappeared from his face. His unblinking blue eyes bore intoFather Simon. "I'm disordered and unnatural." "Excuse me?" "Disordered and unnatural. Or so I've been told." "I, I—" "Do you know Zach Atwood, Father? Of course you do. Thereare only a hundred fucking guys in a class at this place. And even if therewere five thousand guys in a class you'd know him, right?" "Well, I'm not—" "Because he's smart and athletic and hot as fuck. Because eventhe straightest guy at this school stares an extra second at his blonde hair,full lips, and goddamn perfect smile. He's beautiful, right? Everybody can'thelp but be totally captivated." "Let's not—" "Even in the locker room too. He's got a big dick, Father,but maybe you already knew that. You coach soccer; I've seen you patrolling thelocker room after practice like they make you do. Don't tell me you haven'tseen his dick. He doesn't hide it, and he shouldn't. And fuck, his ass! I thinkI have a nice bubble butt, but his ass is insane." "Really, Andrew I don't think we—" "He was the first one, Father. I don't think I could havehad better luck. We were close back then, in freshman year. I'd go to his houseand stay the whole weekend." "Please, you don't need to—" "It's hard to remember how one thing leads to this or that.I think we were probably looking at porn. Probably girls. No, definitely girls.And, you know, he's hard or something, and then I am, and finally one of usgets the balls to whip it out and jerk off. That's how it goes. "But that's only part of it, right? I mean, we did that fora few weekends, but it was bound to escalate. Especially because I was hardlylooking at the porn. I was just staring at his throbbing dick and jerking off.I think he knew it right away. He must have. Either way, after a few weeks Igrabbed at his dick and jerked it myself. I remember I came almost right away,all over his desk. He came right after. "Weekend after that I was ready. I grabbed his dick andjerked. I didn't cum right away but after a few pumps of his shaft I couldn'tcontain myself. I got my mouth right on his dick. I still remember hearing himgasp. His body tensed up for a moment but then sank back into his desk chair.He didn't quite moan, it was more like cooing. Meanwhile I was gagging on hisdick. He lasted about three minutes. I didn't get any warning, just a mouthful ofwarm cum. "I had realized by that point I was the one leading himalong. When I realized it I felt guilty, but only for a moment. Because I alsorealized it was pretty easy to lead him along. The next weekend we didn't wastetime sitting at his desk clicking through porn sites. I got him in his bed andrelaxed. He came once, we jumped in his pool, he came again, we watched amovie, he came again, we feel asleep side-by-side, naked. "Sometime in the spring of freshman year, I think, hefinally sucked me off. It was the best feeling, for a few reasons. One was thathe gave great head. But the other was that he was turning me into a mentalcase. Giving head and never getting it in return was making me feel weird.Think about starting out like that. Never getting reciprocation or whatever. Ithought it might be a looks thing, like he was hotter. But I had a body thatstacked up with him, no question. Anyway, when he finally put his pretty lipson my dick, without my asking for it too, I felt great. "I was so excited that I gave it all up a few weeks later.We were showering off together, washing the cum from our chests, and I backedmy ass onto him. I remember how he jumped back, almost right out of the shower.I did it again and he got the idea and started to get hard. "It was painful as fuck but I think Zach made it easier. Iwanted it so bad from him. It took a month or so, but soon enough I could takehis dick, no problem. He liked to pound me doggy-style for a while, then flipme over and cum inside me while he jerked my cock. He was obsessed with theidea of putting loads inside me. Whenever we had time he'd have me hold hisload until he could fill me two or three more times. "Right at the end of freshman year somebody called Zack afaggot. I forget who and I forget why. It definitely wasn't because whoever itwas knew anything about us. I knew that, and I'm pretty sure Zach did too, butZach still freaked out. All of sudden that was it, we were done hanging out. Icalled him every few days for the first month of the summer and then gave up. "It was hard to take. I hadn't realized how obsessed I'dbecome. I got by thanks to Facebook. He was working at the lake as a lifeguardthat summer and every few days a picture of him, shirtless and tan, popped up onmy Newsfeed. I'd jerk dozens of times to the pictures, hoping he'd call. "I ran into him by accident in July. He showed up at afriend's pool party unexpectedly. We spent half the night ignoring each other,then finally he came up to say hi. "We drove to his house almost in silence. He led my by thehand to his bedroom and stripped all the clothes off me himself. He pinned meto the bed, kissed me all over my body, sucked on my cock, and then climbed onmy dick. I remember seeing him wince as he lowered his ass onto my dick, but hekept going. He rode me; I flipped him and pounded him; I came in him. Then, ahour later, we did the whole thing again." Andy paused and looked away from Father Simon. "But that was it. No calls, no emails, nothing after that.He enjoyed himself, I could tell, but something happened. Two weeks later I sawit, or her. Mary Donnelly. She and Zach were kissing on my Newsfeed, like theyhave been ever since. That was it for me and Zach Atwood." Silence hung over the bench for a moment. "Nothing, Father?" "I'm sorry?" "It's a mortal sin, right? Disordered and unnatural, right?" "Andrew, listen. I'm not here to—" "Did you ever, you know, mess around as a kid? With a guy?" "This isn't about me. We're here to—" "You wouldn't tell me if you did. I get it. You can't,right? You'd be fucked. Not in the good way. Lock-him-up-in-prison kindafucked. Which sucks. People should be honest about this stuff." "Yes." "So then tell me this: you think Zach Atwood is hot?" "What?" "You're what, like late twenties? You still jerk off, right?To boys or girls." "Andrew this is totally inappropriate. I'm sorry that—" "I'm not looking for pity. This isn't a fucking sob story.Look at me, Father, do I look like somebody who's spent the last three yearspining over the first boy he fucked? Not a chance. It took a little while, butI got over him. I mean I still jerk off to pictures of him sometime and gethard when I see him in the locker room, but it's no big deal. Zach Atwood isn'tthe reason I'm telling you this. "A few weeks into sophomore year I figured out Grindr andthe other apps. You know those, Father?" "I don't think so." "Hook-up apps. You can figure out who's close and tradepictures and chat. It absolutely changed my life. Sounds funny, but it's true. "Like, did you know there are about two dozen gay guys inthis school, all of them hungry as fuck for my dick? Hand to God, Father. Andthere are tons at St. Benedict's, and Valley Prep, and The Benton School. Sure,they're not all hot, but the point is they're out there, and horny as fuck. "Guess how many I've fucked, Father. Just guess." "I don't want to do that." "C'mon." "Andrew, this sort of pride is the worst thing that—" "I don't know. I don't fucking know. That's the goddamntruth. It's not hundreds or anything crazy like that, but definitely dozens. Iguess I hadn't realized what I had going for me. Ben Rawles, the junior, hepractically begs for cock every day. If I pull out my phone he's probablyalready messaged me twice today. He gives great head that's for sure. And MaxCantor, remember him? Graduated last year. Fuck fuck fuck he had a tight ass.Total bottom, as they say. We'd fuck for an hour at a time. If I came in him hewouldn't let me stop. I'd squirm and moan but he'd sit on top of me and trap meunder him. "Then there's this guy at Prep. He's a swimmer too. Hestarted messaging me before the season started last year. The pictures he sentlooked hot as hell, but I'd never met him before and he'd always blow me off atthe last minute so I figured he was a fake. First meet of the season there heis on the starting block next to me. Tall, cute, ripped as fuck with abs andpecs that had me hard. And his bulge, Jesus! The bulge in his speedo wasabsurd. I nearly missed the starting gun. Don't get me wrong, I still beat him,but not by much. "His name's Colin. We've been fucking on and off since then.His parents have a huge pool down by the lake and they're never around. Lastsummer we'd sit out in our speedos, tanning all day, fucking all night. Heloved to get fucked, and by lots of guys. He'd call over a few other guys everyother night or so and we'd gangbang him. He fucking loved it, couldn't getenough cock. Colin would call over this classmate of his from Prep who had amassive dick. This guy and I would double-fuck Colin. We got our timing downpretty good and could almost cum in him at the exact same time." "Stop! Please, this is—" "Didn't you play sports, Father? I thought you said yourowed crew, right? And basketball, wasn't it?" "Yes I played sports but—" "Didn't it turn you on, being around guys who were, youknow, in their prime? Fit as hell, ripped, hot bodies." "That isn't my memory of—" "I bet you were, maybe just a little. I bet you were." "Please stop all of this, Andrew. It's not—" "I haven't even gotten to the best parts, Father." "I don't want to hear—" "They weren't all nice Catholic boys, of course. See, Idon't really prefer older guys but I've gone for quite a few. I went down by theuniversity after a while and turned on my phone. God damn there were a lot ofcollege boys to choose from. Sigma Nu is where it's at, though, Father, in caseyou were curious. Those boys are hot. That's basically the swim frat at theuniversity so it was pretty easy to convince my mom to let me stay overnightfor a few weekends. I just told her I was there to watch the swim meet and hangout with the team, which was perfectly true. "Those Sigma Nu boys destroyed my ass. Absolutely wreckedit. It was just about five or six of them, but we were at it for close to twohours. One of them, Tom, had a dick the size of my forearm, swear to God. Andhe just could not stop cumming. At least four times he shot inside me. And hewas so fucking loud. All of them were. Drenched in cum. I mean, it sounds likean exaggeration, but that's the fucking truth. "And I've gone older than that. There's a guy downtown I seeevery now and then. He's an Argentinian guy who moved up here to work infinance. He calls me `amor' and wants to make me his kept boy. I laugh in hisface and he laughs back. He used to swim for the Argentinian national team andhe's absolutely obsessed with speedos. I'll stay at his condo for the weekendand that's all he'll let me wear. We'll cook breakfast, watch movies, wrestlearound—all in speedos. Then we'll lay out by his rooftop pool, in speedos ofcourse, and finish the day back in his bed with him peeling off my speedo.He'll fuck me tenderly all night and kiss at my neck when he fills my ass withcum. He's trying to figure out a way to take me down to Argentina for a weekwhen I graduate next month. I think the poor guy is gonna lose it when I leavefor college. Hopefully he—" "ENOUGH!" Every member of the junior varsity baseball team suddenly turnedto look up the hill and note for the first time that they had two spectatorswatching them practice. Andy looked across the bench at Father Simon, hisbreath heaving and the veins on his neck pulsing. Andy couldn't help but smile.He turned to the team below and waved. The team, confused, carried onpracticing ground balls. Andy turned to Father Simon, who appeared to be carefullychoosing his next words. "I do not intend to listen to a remorseless litany of sinsand I will not let you carry on with this vile bravado that thrives off theoffense of God and all that—" "Mr. Dawson." Father Simon was wound up and ready to unload, and so he wascaught unprepared by Andy's words." "Excuse me?" "I get that you're pissed, but at least let me get finish. Ineed to tell you about Mr. Dawson." "Our Mr. Dawson?" Father Simon's stomach dropped. "Yeah, our good ole Mr. Dawson." "God." "Don't act too surprised." "Excuse me?" "I said, `Don't act so fucking surprised.'" Andy's words were suddenly harsh, and Father Simon recoiledimperceptibly. "Few weeks after his started this year I was on Grindr inclass and there it was: a faceless, photoless block fifteen feet away. Ifigured somebody in my class had just come out. I scanned the room. Nobody tobe found. Joey was in there with me but he had a photo on his profile and hewasn't on his phone anyway. What's more we were in the science wing, muchfarther than fifteen feet away from the rest of the school. I spent the betterpart of class trying to figure out who it could be. I started to panic becauseI realized it could be some straight guy in my class setting a trap, trying tofigure out who was gay. I immediately turned off my phone. "I'll never forget what I saw when I filed out of class.There, in the classroom next to us, was Mr. Dawson, all alone and setting up anexperiment for his class during the next period. I looked in his door as Ipassed by and he looked out. He eyes flashed wide and I knew it then and there.And, of course, he knew it too since I had my face on my profile picture." Andy paused a moment and for once Father Simon didn'tattempt to interrupt; he sat looking at Andy and waiting desperately for hisnext words. "I didn't say a thing or do a thing at first. I didn't seethe profile the next time I checked my phone. I figured he'd blocked me forsure. In a way I wanted to tell someone but I finally opted not to. I hadenough other boys to distract me. Plus, I knew that eventually the issue wouldcome up again. After all Dawson had been hired to coach the swim team. "We started practices in late October and I could tell rightaway Dawson was still freaked out. He was trying to be chummy and one of theguys, but he'd never joke around with me. He kept his distant and when he hadto address me he kept it super formal. "Jack Robbins finally broke the ice. He was joking withDawson as we were wrapping up practice, saying the Dawson was a dried up formerathlete who didn't have it in him anymore. It was, of course, a total jokesince Dawson is, what, twenty five? He was Princeton's top swimmer just twoyears ago. Anyway Jack challenges him to a race. If Dawson loses we get out ofpractice early. If Jack loses he has to wash Dawson's truck. Dawson agrees butJack chickens out and says I have to take his spot since I'm fastest. I try toget out of it because I can see on Dawson's face he's getting uncomfortable.But the team is chanting my name so I have to do it. "I'll don't think I'll ever forget the sight of Dawsoncoming out of the coach's office in his Princeton speedo. His body is fuckingamazing, muscles everywhere. I've seen and slept with some hot guys by now, buthe is incredible. Plus he's got that blonde hair, those blue eyes, and thatdeep raspy voice. I'd looked up photos from him at Princeton and jerked off tothem before then, but he looked even better in the flesh. He walked out andeverybody was cat-calling him. Guys were slapping his ass and rubbing his abs.Jack was taunting him about the full bulge in his speedo. I wanted to join inbut knew that one touch would have me hard in a second, so I stayed on thestarting block. "It was a tie. An absolute fucking tie. Jack and Dawsonargued for ten minutes but there was no way around it. Finally Dawson decidedit was late and that we both won, so he sent us home from practice early. Neveronce during the whole deliberation did he dare look me in the eye. "While everybody took off for home I went into the janitor'scloset and found a sponge and bucket. Dawson came out to the parking lot aboutan hour later and there I was, soaping up his truck. I remember the shockedlook on his face. He stopped in his tracks about twenty feet from me. You couldtell he had no idea what to do or say. I finally said that since we decidedthat we both won I owed him a washed truck. He didn't reply. He looked aroundthe parking lot, which was completely empty since it was early evening. Then,with a few long strides, he bounded up to me and put his lips on mine. "I was fucking stunned. Mostly because he was kissing me,but also because his body had wrapped around me with so much force. My back washard up against his truck, his arms were crushing my torso, his hands held myhead tight, and his tongue was plunging down my throat. He was in total control.He finally stopped kissing me and pulled me by the hand back inside the gym. "We fucked right there on the pool deck. I don't know why,but we did. He slammed my ass doggy-style until he came. Then, when I was aboutto get up and head for the showers, he laid down on the deck, ass up, and toldme to fuck his ass. I jumped right on his and slipped my cock in that ass. Itwas tight as fuck! I was in total heaven. And he kept begging for it, harderand harder. I remember how our wet bodies were slapping together and how thesound rang out across the pool deck and up and down the empty bleachers. I wasdripping sweat and pumping hard when I finally busted inside him. Then Iremember I rolled right off him and into the pool. I was totally exhausted." A pair of birds chirped in a tree limb over the bench andAndy stopped speaking to listen to their birdsong. A breeze came up the hilland the fringes of Father Simon's black robes flapped back and forth. "This is a most grave accusation." "It's not an accusation." Andy's eyes found Father Simon's and locked onto them.Father Simon swallowed hard. "Be that as it may, one cannot just—" "Maybe I should finish first, Father, before we get to anyconclusions. You see, that was the start of something perfect." "Perfect?" "Oh yeah. Absolutely. Dawson thinks he's some delicateartist type, you know that? Like I think he's only teaching so he can keepwriting too. He's gonna be the next Hemingway or whatever if he has his way.Anyway, I don't know if that's gonna amount to anything but I do know that thedelicate artist has a secluded little cabin he lives in up by the river. I callit his van down by the river but he doesn't think that's very funny. "Anyway it's a perfect place for us. I'm there almost everyother night after practice. We talk, we drink, we cook dinner, but mostly wefuck. When he gets hammered he's calls me his muse. When I get hammered I makehim get on his Princeton speedo and we race across the river. When we're bothhammered we talk and talk and talk. About everything. About the other boys I'mfucking, about all the boys he fucked in college. He gives me advice, I tellhim he's washed up, we laugh. "But, like I said, mostly we fuck. I don't think I'll everfind a guy who can give it as good as him. He's that perfect combination ofrough and tenderness. He'll slam my ass, drive his dick in like he's digging tothe center of me, but then he'll know just when to slow down and soothinglystroke my hole slowly. And when he cums he fucking shouts like a wild demon. Ilove it. Then he'll put his lips to my hole and lick up whatever leftover cumhe can find. "That's hot enough, but he loves my dick too. Some nights hejust lays ass-up in bed and tells me to take him however I want him, as long asI want him. My record now is five times in one night. He tried hard to milk asixth load from me by squeezing his ass cheeks over my tired shaft but I wasjust too tired. So he wrapped me up in his arms and we went to bed." "My God." Father Simon's mouth was open and he was staring at Andy. Hewas dumbstruck. "And that's how good things have been for a while. I haven'ttold anyone, of course, because I don't want to get anyone in trouble." "I see." That was all Father Simon could manage to say. "But there's a problem." "A problem?" Father Simon couldn't tell where Andy was going with this. "A few weeks ago Dawson and I thought it'd be fun to fuck atthe pool again. We waited until the gym cleared out, about two hours afterpractice ended, and went for it. It ended up being a perfect night. We swamaround, wrestled in the pool, and then fucked for a solid hour. There wassomething about doing it out in the open was so exciting. Two days after thatwe did it again. And then a few days after that. We've been doing it two orthree times a week now. "Then there was two Thursdays ago. Dawson had just cum on myback and we were in the pool splashing the cum off me when we heard a noisefrom the press box that overlooks the pool. We looked up but the lights wereoff in there. We both freaked out and ran for the locker room. Dawson finally creptup the back steps to the press box to see if anyone was there. It was empty. "We had a huge argument as we tried to figure out who itcould have been and what might happen as a result. Dawson considered getting inhis truck and making a run for it that night he was so scared. I slowly calmedhim down. I admitted to him that I had told Ben Rawles about the two of us andthat we had taken to fucking by the pool. He was livid. He raised a fist that Ithought was headed for me but instead he slammed it into a tile wall. "We wrapped up his bleeding hand and I soothed him bytelling him I would go speak to Ben that night and convince him to keep hismouth shut. Ben is a reasonable guy and I told Dawson as much. Plus, Ben wasway deep in the closet and his parents would flip if he was outed. Slowly heagreed that we were probably safe. "The next day at school went fine. No one had a thing tosay, including Ben. Dawson made up some lame excuse for his hand. Everybodyjoked that he'd been in a bar fight. Nobody even thought to connect his handwith the broken tile on the locker room wall. "There's only been one problem: Dawson refuses to see meanymore. He won't answer my texts, my calls, my emails. Well actually he textedonce to say we shouldn't see each other anymore. Of course I see him atpractice but it's back to what is was before: he barely looks at me. "Listen, I know this sounds silly, but I was falling forhim. Yes, I've never been one-hundred percent faithful to him, but he hasn'tbeen that with me and we were both okay with it. And, yeah, I'm eighteen andmaybe too young to be so serious about a guy, but whatever, I liked him. A lot.It's shitty for him to do this. I want to be able to talk to him, to see him,to be near him. Forget the sex, that's not even the main thing. I just want himback." Andy spat out his last words with increasing speed. Then hestopped suddenly and was quiet, with a distraught look spread across his face. Father Simon looked over to him carefully, assessing Andy's downcasteyes and deep breaths. Finally he reached a hand out to Andy's shoulder. "This is a lot for one person, one heart, one spirit tobear. You have been living so much of your life in secret, away from yourfamily and friends and those you love." Andy sniffed and kept his eyes to the ground. "I think you know what is right and what is wrong, and Ithink you know that in living this secret life you've often wandered astray.But that is understandable, of course, because you believe you have been withoutguidance." Andy turned his head to look and Father Simon, and thenlooked back down into his lap. "But don't forget: the Lord always walks with you. The worstthing you can do is not to disrespect others, to fornicate, to have theserelations with other men, it is to turn away from the One who would be with youalways. Because he is always there and he always offers his hand and hisguidance and the fullness of his love. You must recognize that." Father Simon paused, hoping the silence would bring to bearthe message of his words. "Now, Andrew, these confessions cannot be absolved solely bymeans of prayer. We need to talk now about the things you must do if you seekto achieve the full forgiveness of—" "I'm not here for forgiveness, Father." "Excuse me?" Andy's head cocked upwards and he turned to look out overthe practice fields. "I said I'm not here for forgiveness." "Well...well. Maybe that will come later. I think I do knowwhy you are here, though." "Why's that?" "The Seal of Confession." "What?" "The Seal of Confession. I am bound to never divulge whatyou have shared with me today. Even under threat of imprisonment, torture, ordeath. I can't repeat a word you've said. Tell me, have you told anyone elsethe story you've told me today?" "No." "Half of it?" "No." "So I thought. Andrew, you needed this. You have kept toomuch in your head. To go through such chaotic experiences without sharing themis, frankly dangerous. In confession you have a place to share the truth andhave it held in complete secrecy." "Even the part about my teacher fucking me." Father Simon winced at those words. "Yes, even that. All you have said is protected by thesacred Seal." "Ok. Double protection then, I guess." "Excuse me?" "Double protection." "I don't follow." "I said `double protection.' I know you're not going to saya thing, Father, but it's got nothing to do with the Seal of Confession." Andy reached into the inside pocket of his navy sport-coatand pulled out a rosary. Made from beads of polished olive wood, the rosary'sloop was closed by a silver piece the size of a thumbnail with an image of St.Simon. Father Simon's eyes flashed wide and his heart thumped inhis chest. "Found it in the press box. I stayed behind after Dawsonwent home and poked around looking for clues. The story about Ben Rawles wastotal horse-shit. I didn't tell that bitch a thing, I just needed a lie to calmDawson down. And it worked. But, of course, that left it up to me to figure outwho the hell was up there. "It was pretty easy once I found the rosary. Everybody knowsthe Abbot gives you one with your namesake on it when you join the monastery.So I knew it was you, but what I didn't understand was why you didn't sayanything." Father Simon held a fold of his black robes in his left handand nervously rolled the fabric back and forth. "So, I waited a few days. Maybe you were talking toheadmaster, and maybe the case had made its way to the police. You really didhave me afraid for a while there." Father Simon rubbed the fabric faster and faster, thefriction making his fingers warm. "But still, nothing happened, so after a week I got curiousand I decided you should lose something." "Excuse me?" Andy reached into his inside pocket again. "Here it is." Father Simon's face went pale as he saw Andy holding theantiquated flip phone that the Abbot had issued to him. He hadn't been able tofind it for a week. "You guys must be the only ones still using these oldthings." Andy flipped the phone open and closed as Father Simon'seyes locked on the phone. "Of course, they're not all bad. I noticed yours even has acamera. And, I also noticed, that camera has enough megapixels to get a good image from about fifty feet away. It's also, surprisingly, able to snap sneaky candids in a steamy locker room. In fact you've managed to capture the dick of almost everybody on the varsity soccer team. You're a pretty damn sly photographer." "What..." "What was that, Father?" "What...what do you want?" Father Simon's voice was weak. All the blood looked to havefled from his pale face. Andy stopped to think for a moment. "You're lucky you're pretty." "Excuse me?" "You're pretty, Father Simon. You walk and talk like a priest, but at the end of the day you're a horny twenty-seven year-old. Here's the deal. I don't want anything. I've got your silence with the Seal of Confession and the Seal of the Goddamn Samsung Flip-Phone. You've got my silence thanks to what you've heard today and the same Seal of the Same Goddamn Flip-Phone. I'm not here to blackmail, I'm not here to make a deal. I'm a nice guy, believe it or not." Father Simon's brow furrowed and he finally was able to look Andy in the eye again. "Then what is all this about?" "I'm going to see Mr. Dawson tonight, to explain exactly what's going on. I really do care about him and I want him back in my life. So I figure I need to lay the truth out for him. No more bullshit about Ben Rawles and all that. I'm going to come clean. I'd appreciate it very much if you'd come with me to his cabin tonight. I'm not going to force you. I'm just asking very politely." Father Simon thought quietly for a moment. "I'll go." "Good, good. I figured you would." Andy stood up. "Let's see if I remember this...My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart. In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good I have sinned against you, whom I should love above all things. I firmly intend, with yourhelp, to sin no more, and to avoid whatever leads me to sin. Our Savior Jesus Christ suffered and died for us. In his name, my God, have mercy. Amen." "That was perfect." "Was it?" "If only you meant it." "Now's the part where you absolve my sins." "I wish I could." "You can't?" "You said it yourself: you did not come here with a contrite heart." "Who's your confessor, Father?" "My confessor?" "Yeah, whom do you tell your sins to?" "The Abbot." "Does he here anything so near the truth as you've heard today?" Father Simon sat silently. "I didn't think so. Well, seeing as how I more of your sins than anyone else let me say this: In the matter of your tawdry flip-phone photogallery, Father, ego te absolve a peccatis tuis in nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sacti." Andy made the sign of the cross in the air before Father Simon. "You think that counts for anything, Father?" "I doubt it." Father Simon had his head in his hands. "I dunno, I think it might. One of the disordered and unnatural absolving another one of the disordered and unnatural. I think thetwo might cancel out." Andy started walking off down the hill. Halfway down thehill he turned back. "Father, I'll be leaving at seven from the senior parkinglot. Please be on time. Oh, and I wasn't kidding when I said you're pretty, so please wear something nice under your robes." Father Simon's head lifted and he looked down at Andy's smiling face. "When Dawson and I entertain visitors, things can getinteresting."