Date: Thu, 22 Mar 2018 13:29:13 -0400 From: Samuel Lex Subject: Sometimes it Takes Just That - Part I Sometimes it Takes Just That Part I It happened again. I feel that it's constantly happening to me even though I'm trying to avoid them. Feelings. Are we meant to get them constantly broken until they disappear for good or are we going to eventually learn how to control them? I can't be the only one that has to deal with them. If I am can someone please tell me how they stopped dealing with them. At this point, I'd really like to get rid of them. I had gotten out of a long and horrible relationship a few months ago. I had found out that my ex had been cheating on me and when I asked him to leave the other guy he chose not to. So I left him. It was not an easy task but part of me knew the little self-respect I still had at that point needed to still exist. I deleted him from my life and tried to ignore him as best I could when I saw him in the hallway. He, on the other hand, didn't seem to want to let me have that little self-respect. He tried contacting me through mutual friends or when he saw me in the hallways at school he would always come and apologize to me. It was hard, painstakingly hard. We had dated for 3 years and up until my bubble burst, I thought we were in it for the long haul. What kept me going in my resolution though, was the fact that I knew he was still fucking other guys and that had mostly been the last nail in the coffin. Part of me was in pain but another part of me was angry and although I let the pain part take control for a while, after a few months the anger spurt back out. How was it that he could so easily move on from us and just be fucking other randoms without any emotional difficulties. I knew the answer but I wasn't ready to accept it yet so I left it out there in limbo. All of this was going through my mind in the middle of the bar I was presently drinking at with friends from an association I had joined at school. What had me all angered was not only the fact that he was fucking around but it was also the fact that I wasn't. I was in a business school, constantly surrounded by guys in business suits which were very often not bad to look at, and I couldn't even muster an attempt at flirting with any of them. Jake was the perfect example of that. He was the president of the business association. I hadn't really noticed him much in that way before but not having sex for a few months often makes you see things through different lens. He wasn't the type of guy I was usually into but I was horny and guys in business suits often did it for me. Jake had insisted that whoever could come out after the meeting we had had that night should follow him to a pub down the street from our university. Reading week was next week and before everyone started cramming for midterms which were after the break, he thought it would be fun to just relax and have a few pints. After my breakup, I had poured the energy and time I had wasted on my ex into the association. They had become my new circle of friends at university, especially Jake. Putting so much energy into the association meant that I was often speaking with him about things and we had gotten a lot closer. He knew about my ex. We had talked about it at lengths one night while having a few beers. He was straight, or at least that's what I thought since he had never really brought it up. I don't think up to this point our relationship would have been any different even if he had told me he was gay but nonetheless, it would have been interesting to know if he was and had told me. "Hey, Sam! what are your plans for reading week?" I stared at Jake as I came out of my train of thoughts. He gave me his usual businessman smile. He knew I was doing my usual overthinking and probably spiraling further into my thoughts as I tended to do recently. I took a swig of beer. "Sorry, guys I was totally lost in my thoughts. What were you guys talking about?" I asked. "Just wondering what each other's plans were for the week." Jake followed through. "Probably just going to chill in the boondocks at my parents' and study as much as possible. I'm already so done with this semester." I said. Everyone acquiesced. We were mostly all in our final year of Finance and the major had not been easy on us. Doing the degree itself was a task. Trying to do the degree while participating in an association and keeping a 3.3 GPA was just brutal. I think that was one of the few benefits of being single. You had more time to study and a lot less stress. I listened to the others as they described what they were going to do. Some had chosen to risk their grades and head down south for the week while others like Jake were going to stay in the city since their parents lived here. After a few hours, some people started to leave, stating that they had classes early the next day. It was a Wednesday night and understandably not everyone could spare arriving tired to class. I on the other hand only had a class late evening on Thursday so didn't worry too much about the time or the amount of beer I was drinking. I also lived in a neighbourhood that was lucky enough to have a night bus so getting home wasn't an issue neither. The night rolled along until Jake and I were the only two left at the bar. I had caught myself a few times throughout the night staring at him. I or my hormones had not noticed until tonight how confident he looked in a suit. I found it to be quite a turn on, especially tonight for some reason. Jake took the last few gulps from his pint and placed his empty glass next to all the others that were still on the table. "You going to grab another after that one or you're also heading home?" He asked. "I'm down for another one but how are you getting home? If you don't leave now won't you miss the last bus to the West Island?" "I was planning on taking an Uber home if we ended up staying out too late so it's fine." "Well then get that waitress over here cause we are certainly ordering another round. I'm not even buzzed in the slightest." "I'll actually just get them otherwise we'll be waiting here for a while. You want the same one that you've been having?" I nodded yes and watched as he got up and walked to the bar. Jake was so handsome tonight. He had been wearing a navy blazer to the meeting which he had placed on the back of his chair during the night. At the moment he was only wearing a light blue button up with his sleeves rolled up and a navy blue tie. His attire was clashing really well with his blond hair but his blue eyes were intense with the suit on. It was just hitting me in all the right places. As he ordered and waited for the beers, I looked at how well his pants fit him. They were tight around his ass, making it seem plump and firm. I was loving the way he looked tonight and disappointed I hadn't noticed his ass beforehand. I had known for a while now that I was totally an ass guy. When the barman finally brought Jake the beers I looked away and stared at someone else across the bar so that he wouldn't be aware that I was crushing on him. I knew the alcohol I had drank all night was partly to blame for this horniness. I would wake up tomorrow and find the entire night hilarious. As Jake came back to the table with two new pints, I chugged mine down and grabbed the glass he handed my way. "So when are you going back to your parents'?" he asked as he sat down. "Don't know yet. If I go though I probably won't stay too long. I think too much when I'm over there because I get bored really quickly and it's not the best time to start thinking a lot." I said laughingly to ease the awkwardness that I felt. "Yeah, I get that. It's a lot less apparent that things are bothering you though so I guess that's a good sign." "Anything special going on for you or are you spending the week in the West Island?" "I'm probably going to spend more time in the city than at home. My teachers are brutal this Reading Week. I've got so much stuff to do that I'm not sure I'll be doing anything other than studying." The conversation droned on like that till we both finished our beers and got up to put our blazers back on. Jake followed me back home saying it was easier to take an Uber from my neighbourhood because it was right beside the highway. As we waited for the night bus to come we talked about the plans for the activities that the association wanted to do once we were back from Reading Week. Since I thought Jake was straight and new that even with an Uber he wouldn't be back home until an hour later I tried debating if I should just offer him a place to stay for the night. Part of me wanted to, simply to see if we could go any further than friendship, but the other part of me also knew that if he was straight and I ended up hitting on him he might freak and I might ruin everything. In other words, I was down to inviting him over but I needed to keep my dick in my pants. "Jake if you don't have anything too early tomorrow, you can crash on my couch tonight. Since I know you've still got at least another hour of Uber to do." "Yeah, thanks! I think I might actually take your offer cause I was not looking forward to that Uber ride." Fireworks burst in my mind while butterflies decided to start flapping around in my gut. Feelings. Why? I tried acting as if everything was normal on my end even though my horny mind was working in overdrive with all the possibilities that I was hoping would happen but also did not want to take place. It was a good thing that the bus ride was not too long and that I'd be able to get to bed and forget all of these thoughts as quickly as possible. When we got to my place I unlocked the door and walked in. Jake had already been here a few times throughout the year for association related business so he knew where things were. I lived alone in a somewhat large 3 1/2 so even if he hadn't been here before, there wasn't much to visit. Once my shoes were taken off I went directly to my room to grab a hanger for his blazer and didn't expect him to follow me into my room. He handed me his blazer and as I was putting it away he undid his tie, unbuttoned a few of the top buttons to his button up shirt, and rolled up his sleeves. "Got any beers here? Since I'm not heading home I'd be down for one last one." He asked. "Yeah let me just hang my blazer and I'll get us some." I answered. Why had the vibe changed all of a sudden? It was peculiar. I went to my fridge, fished out two beers and was expecting him to have followed me but he was still in my bedroom. He was looking at the books that I had bought over the years in my bookshelf. The fact that he was perusing my bookshelf was problematic in itself. By doing so, he had his back towards me which meant I had a perfect view of his plump ass. I stood in the doorframe just looking at it, imagining me between those two mounds savouring him, pleasuring him. "I never realized you had so many books not related to business. I guess you read a lot?" he asked as he grabbed a book off the shelf and started reading the back cover. "I tend to read to relax from all the business info we're bombarded with." I said. "Yeah, I get that. I used to read so much as well but can't seem to find the time anymore these days." Dammit! I could feel my cock plumping up and since I was wearing business pants it would get obvious quickly. I needed to distract myself but fuck, that ass right there in front of me was hard to not stare at. It was already hard enough keeping myself from putting the beers down and just walking over to touch it. I decided the best option was to break the trance and get him to turn around so I wouldn't have that ass in my line of vision. I didn't want to stop staring but did I have much of a choice? I walked towards him and handed him one of the beers. I noticed he had grabbed "Paris" by Edward Rutherfurd. "You like historical novels?" I asked. "Yeah, I'm actually quite into them. Is this one any good?" He said "Yeah I liked it a lot, but I feel it's because I actually know Paris quite well so it helped out a lot with the visuals. If you prefer shorter ones I highly recommend the Genghis Kang series by Conn Iggulden." He placed the book back on the shelf and grabbed the beer I was offering him. Everything went downhill from there. Jake took a swig and looked at me as I sat down on my bed. "Sam, what's the main reason why you invited me over tonight?"