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The Angel of Pie Jesu.
By John T. S. Teller.
Part 58.
Book two: Journey of the Coin.
Gretel.
I shouldn't be watching, but I am. As soon as Aleric went out of the side door I went and peeped from behind the curtains in the big room at the front of the house that we only use for posh occasions. My goodness! That kiss reminds me of when I was young and madly in love with Ralf, but Ralf was more reserved than Gareth, who is giving as good as he gets from my boy. That's one crazy kiss they're sharing! So that's how madly in love they are! No holds barred there! I chuckle and go back to other others who are all in the back room... the living room.
They both come in through the side door and everybody yells at Gareth, congratulating him on his birthday. He's grinning from ear to ear and fending off silly stuff from Kurt and Gottwin, who are both enjoying his embarrassment. Then he does something beautiful. He goes to Hansie, puts his hand under his armpits, lifts him up easily out of his wheelchair, supports him with one arm under the little man's bottom, and gives him a really loving hug. Hans responds, wraps his arm around Gareth's neck, hugs him, then he pulls back his head and grins into Gareth's face, and says "Alles gute zum geburstag, alter mann!"
Gareth howls with laughter and then kisses Hans on the forehead. Again they hug, but now Gareth is rocking Hans in his arms like a baby while the little boy tucks his head onto Gareth's shoulder and presses his face against the side of Gareth's head. Aleric is looking at them with misty eyes. No doubt he's thinking what I am... Gareth has a heart of gold inside him. But I wonder if he really is thinking what I'm really thinking... had Gareth been born of a different disposition then he would have made a wonderful father.
************ ************** ************* ************** *************
Aleric.
I'm watching Gareth and Hansie and a strange thought comes into my mind. One day, when we're older we're going to adopt a child, or maybe two or three. Gareth will make a wonderful father. Then I chuckle inside to myself. But where will that leave me? No way am I going to be a mother! I want to be a father as well! But how will that work? I'll have to talk to Gareth about it. No doubt he'll have some smartarse answer, especially because I'm the one who likes to be fucked. LOL. God... I love him! And that kiss we've just had was fantastic! I can't wait until we go to bed. I'll make him give me another one just like it. But it will taste of Schnapps next time. And if I know Gareth, if I suck on his tongue long enough, I'll be drunk myself. LOL.
************ *************** ************* ************* ***********
Kurt.
I'm looking for signs that the events of the last twenty-four hours have affected Gareth, but he seems fine. I think I know why that is. Last night he outed an inner anger that had been gnawing at his soul ever since he met Aleric. His parents were the last obstacle to him being what he really is, gay, and now he's got the freedom to be himself.
*****************
The world works in mysterious ways. I still can't get over what his father did. What on earth was he thinking?! He should have known that if Gareth discovered he'd been spying on him that there would be a terrible backlash. I wouldn't dream of doing it. I know Gareth loves me, but if I did that to him I absolutely know he would do the same to me as he's done to his father. There's nothing Gareth values higher than loyalty, but cross him big style and that's end of things as far as he's concerned. He's very black and white in that regard, and there are no in-betweens... all or nothing.
Last night. It was awful. I've never seen Gareth so angry, and that's saying something! He was in a violent rage. I think if his father and that Devine had been there he would have throttled them both. As for his mother... I've never heard anyone so full of hatred for the woman who gave birth to them. And then he railed against those fucking racists and bible thumping fucking evangelicals who think the fucking world began four thousand years ago! And then he started on at those fucking idiot psychiatrists who would fill that poor fucking boy so full of fucking guilt that he would probably end up committing fucking suicide by the time they finished with him. He was referring to that boy Cody who he wanted to fuck, and the situation between the boy and his father. I thought I'd try to get him through that bit by pointing out that the boy was not really his son and had been adopted. I should have kept my mouth shut on that one. Gareth stared at me with mad eyes and said "Do you think I would fuck a boy who I adopted? I can't think of a greater betrayal! What would you think of Heindrich if he abused Hansie? Being fucking gay doesn't give anyone the right to betray a child's trust!" Then I got a long, three-parts-drunk lecture on the ethics of bringing up children and how they should come before anything, including one's own happiness.
Then we got onto his grandparents. That's when he really cried. Well, he cried tears of anger previously, but the tears he shed when he was talking about his grandparents were tears of love and grief. I thought I knew Gareth, but I learned a few things last night. That's where he gets his good side from... his caring side. He told me about how, when he went on his mad, four pubertal years and didn't see them, they simply welcomed him back into their lives without a shred of condemnation. His mad eyes stared at me, and he yelled, "That's love! If my grandparents had known I was gay it wouldn't have made the slightest bit of difference to them! They would have accepted it and still loved me and woe betide anyone who ever said anything about their grandson! Not like those fucking parents of mine who think I'm a fucking leper!"
That's when he went to the bedroom he keeps for his parents, and wailing like a banshee, he ripped their clothes to shreds. I didn't try to stop him. I waited and waited, and eventually his anger subsided. Then, the bastard that many people fear collapsed onto his knees and cried into my lap like a little boy. That's when I cried, while I was stroking his beautiful hair and wishing for all the world that he had been my partner. Then I put him to bed. Fully dressed! I wanted to rip all this clothes off but I decided not to. That would have been a betrayal of what we have as great as what his parents did to him. Then I got some large refuse sacks and cleared up the bedroom that was formerly his parent's room.
***************
Goodness knows how Gareth will explain that lot to Aleric. But I know one thing... Gareth won't tell him what really happened. No way will he have the breaking up between him and his parents be placed on Aleric's conscience. He'll tell him it was about money. These things are always about money. But I know the truth. That's why I'm near to tears now when he comes to me after he's put Hans back into his wheelchair and kisses me on the top of the head and winks at me and whispers, "Thanks for clearing up for me. I've thrown the lot in the trash bin where it belongs, along with other things."
************ ************** ************* ************** *************
Gareth.
Nobody has ever had a better 33rd birthday than I'm having. Everybody I really care for is here. Kurt and his mob; Helena and Joseph, and the entire Hahn family. And there isn't a person in this family room that doesn't get on well with everyone else. That's amazing considering the diversity of everyone here. And even more special is that nobody is putting on airs and graces.
Take Aleric and Gottwin for instance. Gottwin, having broken his own, has pinched Aleric's Ipod headphones and when Aleric asks for them back, Gottwin refuses to give them to him. Then they start on one another. I've seen it before... many times. They love each other like crazy, but that doesn't mean they don't fight. Gottwin is kneeling on the big rug. Aleric dives on him and starts to pummel him. In no time they're going at it hammer and tongs, and they're not pulling their punches either. Ralf yells at them to stop, and so does Gretel, but they ignore their parents and the punches and kicks are raining in big style. Eventually, Gottwin rips the earphones from around his neck and throws them across the room. And everything stops. Ten minutes later they've rooted in a drawer together, found another pair of headphones, and both are chuckling like idiots at something that's amusing them. I've long since learned not to get involved with their squabbles, and I know for a fact that when Aleric is naked in bed with me tonight he will be covered in bruises. But that's bodily stuff. It's the spiritual side of identical twins that is never harmed.
Spirits. We've not had a visit from the spirit for a while. It must be about somewhere. But I suppose even spirits have to have time off occasionally. Maybe it's taken a vacation. I hope it's skipped across the Atlantic and dealt with that bastard Devine!
************ ************** ************* ************** *************
Bedri Tabak.
I am deeply puzzled. I have just watched the two films I have of the Angel Aleric and his man and I have seen something that I dismissed as a trick of the light before. Since the night when the Angel Aleric and his man were here I have felt its presence, but having watched both films again, I am almost sure I have seen it. In the first film there is a wispish aura above them, almost indecipherable unless I play the film back frame by frame. But in the second film, after they have ended their fun and games, just when Gareth penetrates his boy, hovering above them is the shape of another being. Could it be the spirit of the tormented man I saw before? Were I not familiar with the spiritual world then I most certainly would dismiss it. But I am familiar with spirituality, and have been since I was a small boy and my master told me of such things... of how spirits have played a part in the greatest love known to mankind... that between a boy and man, which have existed from time immemorial, or at least going back thousands of years to when the ancient Silk Road was thriving from Hangchow to Constantinople... the gateway to The West.
****************
At the age of six my father sold me to a merchant in Constantinople: Muhammad Tabak. It was he who spotted me in the marketplace and bartered seven goats for me, and it was he who gave me my name. When he had purchased me and I had been in his care five years, and not once had he asked anything of me except my company and to accept the education he gave me, he took me to his rooftop and made me wait until the first rays of sunlight were blessing the dark curls on my head, and then he made me be silent. I obeyed him, and then came the most spiritual moment of my life... the silence of that great city was broken by the Güneş Ezan, our dawn call to prayer from the Blue Mosque. I had heard it many times before, but never as I did that morning when the man who gave me my name stood behind me with his hands on my shoulders and kissed my head before we knelt on our seccades as the Muezzin called out the prayer and it was echoed across that great metropolis from every other mosque as they followed his call.
And then, after Ezan was over, he spoke to me words, that at that young age I was incapable of comprehending fully. He waved his hand across the city. "Bedri Tabak, this place, like most others on the earth is filled with humans who are incapable of understanding true love." He took in a great breath. "Just once in many generations Allah blesses two people with a love so great that were it of earthly things, it would move mountains. It has happened in the past. Great leaders have destroyed nations for the love of a beautiful boy. The Infidel Hadrian loved his Antinous so much that he slaughtered many and deified him and built temples in his honour. This is how powerful can be the love of a man for his boy and a boy for his man. But for a love like this to grow to infinite proportions, it also requires the presence of something that is beyond our knowledge... a guiding spirit."
"A guiding spirit, Master?" I asked. "What is a Guiding Spirit?"
He turned me around and looked into my eyes. "You are beautiful, Bedri, and I love you, but there was one before you for whom I would move those mountains, and he for me. Alas, he passed over ten years before I found you in the marketplace. I was hoping I could recreate that love, but it was not to be. And why do you think that was, Bedri?"
I was only eleven years old at the time, but I was wise enough to know the answer, and I said, "Because I am like you Master. I cannot love a man. I am only interested in boys younger than myself."
He nodded sagely. "And that is why I have never defiled you Bedri. We are alike, you and I, and I know that if a man had used me then it would have sickened my spirit. During our time together I have watched you closely and seen how attracted you are to the male child younger than you. We were born to love Allah's most beautiful creatures, the boy child and not the female of our species."
I stared into his eyes. "Tell me of this special love you had before you met me."
My master, although he was a loving man, was also a stern man, and I was surprised when tears rolled down his cheeks. "Erdem Kashani was my lover. He was but twelve years old when he fell in love with me and I with him. Our meeting was of great providence. He had bought himself out of slavery on payment of a gold coin he found on the shores of our Black Sea but was without the means to support himself because he was with sickness. I saw him sitting by the great river and brought him home and fed him and gave him potions to cure his illness. When he was almost well and I was sitting by his bedside he lifted the covers of the bed and invited me in. I refused. I wanted no rewards for caring for the beautiful boy. Then he said something so beautiful that he almost broke my heart... he said, Master, I invite you into my bed not to reward you but to fully complete my recovery because my spirit loves you. And so I joined him in the bed and his passions were unbounded, which told me that he was speaking the truth. We were together for almost twenty years, and then he passed over with a sickness of the lungs. Before he met me he was a maker of bricks, and the dust from those early years when he was a slave to the brick-maker had gathered in his lungs. He died in my arms, choking for breath. And when he went, so did the spirit that had guided us for those almost twenty years. I saw it as plain as I see you now. I was taken aback. The spirit was not of our homeland. It was like those from the north, pale of skin, and its eyes were filled with sorrow, and its face was burned and terribly disfigured."
I hugged my Master because he was so upset at the memory, and he held me tightly and I had tears in my own eyes when I asked him, "But why would it leave you in your greatest time of need, Master?"
He gathered himself and smiled into my eyes. "Who knows what spirits do... or why? But I did see it one more time. I was in a coffee shop and using a nargile. The tobacco was laced well with the stuff of dreams. When I was well into a beautiful trance, I saw It, and I also saw the face of another beautiful boy with dark, curly hair. That is why I bought you. I thought that maybe you were the one who would replace my Erdem. And then I discovered that it was not to be and I realised that I was being used. It was not me the spirit was interested in, it was you. Ask me not why it was interested in you for I know nothing of its intentions, but I suspect your future, one day, will have a purpose in one of these great loves we speak of. There is one other thing. When I saw the spirit of you, above your head was another spirit bathed in flames of a great fire and it had in its hands a staff, and at the head of the staff was a shield, and upon that shield was the sign of The Tural. Make of that what you will, but you will not find those things here. They are of The North." Again he squeezed my shoulders. "Like the muezzin who has stirred your spirit with his call to prayer, and the prophets who provide a pathway to our Holy God, those of us that Allah has truly blessed have been given a purpose in life. Mine was to bring great joy to a boy so beautiful that my heart will be broken until the day I pass over. But for you, Bedri Tabak, there will come a time when you will become involved with a love as great as mine and my lovely boy Erdim. But I do not envy you. The Tural is of the lands where the last great jihad failed at the hands of the infidels who prevented those who follow Allah from taking over the world."
Five years later my master was dead, and after ten more I came to this great city of Berlin. But I was a stupid man back then. I mistook the German Eagle to be the Tural. But Allah does not make mistakes. He is all-wise and all-knowing, but still I am puzzled by the sign of The Tural. But I now know why I am here. I am, in some way, to be part of another great love like that of which my master spoke... the love between Aleric and his man, and my footsteps are light on the thick carpet because of it. I am five and seventy years old and frail, but my quest for true love has not been in vain. Behind the naughty looks Aleric gives me is genuine affection. Allahu Akbar!
************ ************** ************* ************** *************
Gareth.
It's time for dinner. Gretel and Aleric sorted out the table in the dining room while we were all chatting. He's like a woman at times. But I won't tell him that. Well, I won't be serious if I do. Especially now he's asked me if I'd fuck him if he was a girl. I wouldn't hear the end of it. He's not like Kurt. But Kurt isn't domesticated like a woman. If anything, Heindrich is the one who does most of their cooking and cleaning. They're a strange pair, those two. Sort of back to front domestically, but front to back sexually. The thought makes me chuckle inwardly and I stifle it with a large drink from my stein. I'm still on beer yet. The hard stuff will come later. But I've had strict orders. From Aleric! I am not to spoil our birthday night! He requires that I'm at least half-sober when we go to bed. I'm looking forward to it. My anger has not completely subsided yet. I'll take it out on Aleric tonight. I'll give those bigots some shit! I wish I could make a film of our loving and force them to watch it. They might rile at the ideas of homosexuality, but I'll guarantee if you put a penile plethysmograph on the men watching us having sex, especially those fucking Evangelicals... there wouldn't be a male worth his salt that would register negative on the damned thing! Hypocritical bastards!
********************
Everyone takes their place at the extending, antique oak dining table that Gretel bought from a shop in Potsdam. All the best cutlery and dinnerware too. I love the way established families do this sort of thing. She's used a hand embroidered tablecloth that must have been passed down from family to family. It's beautiful. It reminds me of the one Grandma would use for Sunday best. I still have it. It's one of my personal treasures that money can't buy, along with other stuff they had.
********************
My grandparents' house. I had their house cleared when Grandma died, just two months after Granddad died. Everything in the house and their personal possessions was left to me in their will. They left their other assets to Dad, and that's only because I told Granddad that I didn't want their money. I remember Granddad's smile when I said that. He knew that as far as they were concerned, their money was inconsequential to me. All I wanted was connections to the two people I loved most in my life at the time. All their stuff was in storage at the house at Hampstead, but it now sits in the double garage at Llantwit Major. I have plans for it. Gretel will help me. She'll be dead jealous when she sees the old oak Welsh dresser I'll use to decorate one of the rooms there in the style of my grandparent's house. I'm looking forward to the fun we'll have putting it all together. The house at Llantwit Major was sold fully furnished, but I told Dai to clear out the room I've decided to be a re-creation of my grandparent's living room. Dai was surprised and he couldn't stop chuckling when I said I didn't want the stuff in the room, and he's told me that most of it has gone to his two daughters that are married. (The other daughter, Angharad, still lives at home with them now she's left university.) They will enjoy it. It's all quality stuff.
Dai. I can't wait to see his face when he sees the twins. He doesn't know it yet, but he's already seen them... in the window on the chancel in the chapel. I can see his weatherworn face when he does. It's making me chuckle thinking of the expression on his face. And there'll be a Boyo somewhere in his exclamation when he does.
*****************
Ralf orders everyone to be quiet for the pre-dinner prayers. Aleric is next to me. He holds my hand under the table. Ralf coughs... wipes his moustache straight, and says, "Dear God, we thank you for this wonderful food that Schatz has prepared, and now we would all like to wish the Old Man from Wales a very happy birthday. Thank you Lord."
Laughter all round, and tears are falling from my eyes because I'm so amused. The twins and Hansie are almost helpless with laughing, and even Gretel, although Ralf has called her `Schatz', can't stop giggling. What a great start! Just what I needed... and events of the last twenty-four hours are shoved firmly away. This is what I wanted. This is why I wanted to share my birthday with these wonderful people, and I lift my stein and salute Ralf. He grins at me, raises his, and gives me one of his massive winks that make his moustache go really lopsided.
Not fish this time. Starter is small bowls of Schnüüsch - a soup with well seasoned green beans, peas and potatoes. Then the main meal... Mecklenburger Rippenbraten – roast ribs with red cabbage, potatoes and dumplings... one of my favourites that Gretel cooks. After the last twenty-four hours I thought I might not be hungry, but I'm starving. I've eaten nothing since before the phone call to my father. When I've finished my meal, because I've wolfed it down faster than I usually do, Gretel ask if I want more. The sight of two massive Black Forest Gateaux's in the centre of the table makes me shake my head and I say, "No thank you Gretel. I'll leave room for some of those if you don't mind." But Gretel has a surprise for me.
She and the twins clear the table of the dinner things and they bring in sweets for everyone... a choice of Rote Grütze – strawberries and groats, and Schwarzbrotpudding – black bread pudding. I ask for Rote Grütze, but Gretel grins at me and goes back into the kitchen. When she comes out she's holding a covered Pyrex dish with oven-glove covered hands and places it in front of me on the table mat, and then she whips off the tea towel that was covering it and kisses me on the head. "Maybe not as good as your grandmother used to make it, but I've done my best. You said we couldn't spend more than twenty Euros each for a birthday gift for you, so I've done you this. It's hot and has just come out of the oven! Be careful! Happy birthday Old Man!"
I think had she not added that last remark that I might have broken down and cried, but I'm just teary eyed when I thank her for the egg-custard she's made for me and pucker my lips so she can give me a peck. She chuckles and plants a soft kiss on my lips. Then she points at the pudding and asks me to taste it.
The whole room is quiet and in suspense when I take a spoonful, including the brown skin on the top, which was always my favourite part of Grandma's egg-custard pudding because it's sweeter than the rest. I blow on it to cool it down and when I put it in my mouth I roll it around, taking in the taste and the texture, and I really am amazed. I look up at Gretel through narrowed eyes. "Are you sure you made this?"
She chuckles. "With a little help from your grandmother. Blame her if it isn't right. She was with me when I made it."
I shake my head. "No, it's perfect. Just like Grandma used to make it. Now bugger off and let me eat it!"
Everybody knows what my bugger off means, and they all laugh. And they're all laughing more when they all want to taste it but I tell them to "Sod off! This is too precious to waste on you daft buggers." Then Aleric gets to taste it. Then Gottwin. And then little Hansie. Egg-custard was invented for us kids, and not grown-ups.
************ ************** ************* ************** *************
Kurt.
I've long since learned not to be jealous as far as Gareth is concerned, but my heart is breaking while I take in all he is. He truly is the most wonderful person I've ever met on this earth. Well, my little Hans now vies completely for my affections, but that's in a different way. I love Heindrich and he loves me, but our partnership is many things including companionship. I could never be a companion with Gareth. He's too volatile to be that. I'm the only person who can handle him, but that doesn't make him companionable. But there is one person in this room who can be all things to my lovely friend... Aleric.
Their affair is one of the strangest I've ever known. No, not one of the strangest... the strangest! I can get my head around a man of thirty-three loving a fourteen year old boy, but the love Aleric has for Gareth is one of the wonders of the world. In the beginning it was a spontaneous affection, but it has since grown to enormous proportions, so much so that Aleric has become a wild boy. He has become the dominant one... the Commander-in-Chief of what will happen in their lives, and that's because he has taken complete control of Gareth. Gareth has his moments and puts Aleric firmly in his place, but when Aleric's love for Gareth is in full flow, then there's only one boss in this affair. Aleric's love for Gareth can be many things... passionate, gentle, and cruel even, but it can also contain immense anger. At the moment he is a young boy, but when he becomes a man he will become an unstoppable force if anyone should try to come between them... or harm his man in any way. Thank goodness Gareth had the good sense to get rid of Aleric before he dealt with his parents. If Aleric had seen Gareth last night trying to deal with his grief and anger, he would have gone berserk. I just hope he never finds out what has happened. One thing is certain... he won't find out from me.
************ ************** ************* ************** *************
Gareth.
The meal is over and Gretel comes in with my birthday cake. There are laughing eyes everywhere when they're all singing Happy Birthday to me, and proper laughter when I pretend to be unable to blow out all the thirty-three candles that Gretel has managed to fit onto the beautiful iced cake. So I enlist the help of the twins and Hansie, who gets out of his wheelchair and stands by the side of me while I put an arm around his tiny waist to support him. Gottwin is on the other side and Aleric is behind me with his arms locked around my neck and the side of his face pressed against the side of mine. I count, "Eins! Svei! Drei!" and we all blow together. Then we all laugh because we've blown them all out. Gretel gives me a knife to cut the cake, and I'm about to do it when a small hand encloses on mine. It's Aleric's. I look at our two hands. A man's hand and a boy's hand. But they're not just that. They're the hands of two people that fate has thrown together to create a love so powerful that I could never imagine one could exist like it. This boy with one arm locked around my neck, with his face pressed firmly against mine and my hand enclosed in his, is now my whole life, and when we cut the cake, it becomes a metaphor for what we are... united in a love so great that the act of cutting the cake represents what I have just done... sliced away anything that will get in the way of the love we have for one another.
*****************
I gave out strict orders to everyone that if they bought me a birthday gift, it would cost no more than twenty Euros, and I can't wait to see how they've handled that.
Hansie goes first, and when I open the DVD, I can't stop laughing. It's one of the mad games they play on their games consoles. I ask him why I've got it. He grins at me and says, "You can give it to Aleric. He's been wanting it for ages. And we can play it when I have a stayover." I chuckle like mad, give him a big hug and thank him, and he hobbles away grinning like a Cheshire Cat.
Gottwin is next. Another DVD! I'm giggling when I open it and giggling even more when I see it's another game the boys play. He smirks at me. "I've been after it for ages." We punch fists and he goes away sniggering.
Gunther gives me his present. He's got a great sense of humour at times. It's a book. Bugatti Veyron: A Quest For Perfection. By Martin Roach. He grins at me. "You can get me one for my next birthday."
I laugh at him. "And pigs might fly. But thanks."
Ralf gives me his. I grin at him and unwrap the bottle of Peach Schnapps. "Best there is," he says.
I wink at him. "We'll try it later."
Gretel smiles at me. "You've eaten my gift."
I wink at her. "Indeed I have, but you've now got yourself a load more work. I hope that won't be the last one!"
She shakes her head. "Special occasions only."
I give her the thumbs up, and she grins. We're on the same wavelength.
I know what's coming from Helena and Joseph. She buys me one every birthday. It's a blue shirt. I smile at both of them and blow her a kiss. She grins. It happens every year and I wouldn't want it any other way. They haven't broken the rules... they've combined their twenty Euros limit and bought me a shirt that will do fine for knocking about in.
Heindrich gives his gift to Hansie and tells him to bring it to me. It's a bottle of something. Hans helps me tear off the gift paper. It's a bottle of Glenfiddich. I give him the thumbs up.
Kurt is smirking at me. He never fails to surprise me with his eccentric gifts, but I'm not sure I should open the gift-wrapped box he sends Hans to give me. It's about the right size box that a dildo would be packed in. And the right weight! I look at him and give him a puzzled stare. He giggles and says, "The batteries are with it. Long life ones."
Beside me, Aleric is in fits of laughter, so I know he's been part of this charade. I shake my head and rip off a corner of the wrapping. I'm no wiser. The box inside is plain white. If we were back at the apartment and alone I could guarantee that it would be a dildo, but surely he wouldn't give me one to open in front of all the family... would he? I shrug my shoulders and take a chance. God knows what I'll do with my face if the bastard has given me a dildo! Even so, after I've taken off the gift-wrap, I'm very circumspect when I open the end of the white box. But whatever is inside it is wrapped in tissue paper and I won't know what it is until I take it out of the box. So I drop the box below the level of the table and take out whatever is in the box and take off the tissue paper. And then I begin to laugh when I see what it is. I place it on the table and Aleric takes over. He takes off the restrictors and the rattlesnake immediately concertinas to its full length, and then he presses a switch underneath the snake head and the damned thing wriggles and rattles its way across the dining table, and by the time the kids have stopped playing with it and we've all stopped laughing at the stupid thing, my belly is aching with laughter.
Aleric has saved his present until last. He goes out of the dining room and comes back with it behind his back. His beautiful eyes are sparkling green and amber as he stares into my eyes. I've seen the look many times... it's the fascinating one he gives me when he wants to surprise me... usually with something sexy. But I'm completely fooled when he takes his hand from behind his back and gives me a small present that's wrapped like a miniature ship's decanter. I'm really puzzled. I can't think of a liqueur he would buy me. Maybe it's a rare vintage Scotch? He grins and says in English, "Happy birthday, Old Man!"
I take the paper off, and still I'm puzzled. It's a very old dark green glass bottle, and not translucent, so I can't see through it. It is like a ship's decanter, but it's very middle-eastern looking with a tall Arabic stopper that's firmly fastened down with Sellotape. I cock my head to one side and give him a puzzled look. I receive one of his victorious grins. He's beaten me again. I look into his eyes. "What is it?"
He grins. "Something very special. Be careful when you open it. We don't want to waste any!"
I don't miss his emphasis on the we, so I'm very careful when I remove the Sellotape and gently remove the stopper. I know what it is immediately the stopper is off, and that's why I look into his eyes, and ask him, "How much did you pay for this?"
He gives me one of his evil grins. "Nothing... yet. The old man I got it off says I can pay him later."
The only other person at the table who is laughing is Kurt, and I intend the supplier of the gift will remain a mystery to everyone except us three, and probably Gottwin eventually. Well, how could I possibly explain why I have a bottle of perfume from a cur dog with a vibrating tongue?! Some things have to remain a secret forever, otherwise, what's the use of secrets?
************ ************** ************* ************** *************
Aleric.
Gareth is asleep. Mum knows he doesn't like to sleep in the dark, so she bought a rheostat that he uses to turn the bedside light with a blue tinted bulb down when he stays here. I love it when it's like this. I'm snuggled up to him and I can see the profile of his face as he lies on his back. He always lies on his back and he'll wake up lying on his back. I'm one of those people who struggle to stay still when I'm asleep. Gareth often laughs at me. I've fallen out of our bed before now.
It's warm in his room. We've got the summer duvet turned back and it's by our waists. But I like that. I can see all the top half of the man I love. His right arm is under me, but the hand that was fondling my bottom has fallen away. That's how I know when he's really asleep. My bottom is a sort of pacifier to him. I love him doing it. It isn't a sexy thing with him. He loves my bottom. After my eyes he says it's the thing he loves most about me. When we're talking our usual stuff after we've had sex, he strokes and fondles my bottom with his hands and fingers, but his fingers never go right inside my bum cheeks. That's sex stuff when he does that.
We've had sex differently tonight. Face to face stuff and not the usual mad sex we have back at the apartment. But I was unselfish tonight... I sat on him and gave him one of my specials. He loves those, the ones where I use my tummy muscles to work his pinkler off inside me. He's not the only one who loves them. Feeling the man you love inside you and having him give you that full feeling while you're connected is fantastic. But it takes years of practice before you can get to that stage. Counting Herr Biermaier since I was ten years old, I've had four years to hone the skill, so I get as much pleasure as Gareth does when he's inside me. But part of it is psychological. Knowing you're giving the man you love pleasure intensifies your own, especially when you can look into each other's eyes and know the feelings they're experiencing are the same as yours. Sometimes Gareth doesn't need to touch my pinkler for me to get the feelings, and other times, when I'm on about my third climax, he helps out by masturbating me while I work my magic on him. Whatever, we're in harmony most of the time and can usually climax together. We're becoming old hands at it. I won 5-2 tonight. I always win, and I always like to make the last one an oral one while I'm lying on my back and he's between my legs and loving me down there while I wrap my legs around his neck and slam his head against me while I'm holding his hair.
It's been a great day. I've really enjoyed it. Not a single thing went wrong. Gareth loves the birthday gift of Bedri's perfume that I gave him, but he wouldn't use any tonight. He said he'd feel embarrassed if mum smelled it in the morning. He says he's going to use it at the apartment and in the new house in Wales. Mum says she wants some now as well, so I'm going to have to ask Bedri to get me some more. Kurt got me the one I gave to Gareth. Kurt was laughing when he gave it to me. He said Bedri was like a dog with two tails when he knew I wanted some. He did it up great in that lovely bottle he put it in. It's like a magic potion. LOL. I should have asked Kurt to ask Bedri for that lollipop thing he put up my bum. I still haven't got over what he did with it. But I think it would be useless with Gareth. He wouldn't know how to work it like Bedri does.
Bedri. I must go back to him before I get too old. I'm getting bum fluff on my top lip, as Gareth calls it, and Kurt says Bedri goes off boys when they get too old. I'll go back just to experience that lollipop up me. But Bedri might make an exception for me if I'm a bit older than his usual rejects. I know he loves me. I'll get Gareth to bugger off to London for a few days and ask Kurt to arrange another stayover at Bedri's. I've just missed my chance. Why did Gareth not want me around for two days? He never does that. He said it was about work, but I don't believe him. I'm not saying he's telling me proper lies... I think he was telling me a white lie because he had something to sort out and he didn't want me around while he was doing it. And thinking about it, although I know Gareth has really loved his birthday, he's been sort of strange today.
It started with that kiss he gave me when he arrived. Normally he would be shy and reserved if I did something like that, but he wrapped me in his arms and his kiss was amazing! I thought he was going to choke me with his tongue, and when I gave him mine he drained every bit of saliva from me. That's what gave me a real hard-on and he had to wait for me while I adjusted my jeans before we could go in the house. He couldn't stop giggling at me.
Hansie. That was the second bit where he was strange. I know he loves Hans, but that was the most love he's ever given him. I wasn't jealous. It was lovely what he did. And the way he's been touching us all day. He's always doing it to me, but he was doing it to everybody today. Nobody got away without a hand on their shoulders or have their hair fondled, and he even gave mum a kiss on the lips when she gave him his pudding. It was if he was sort of liberated as if he's leaving his past behind. That would tie in with him wanting his birthday party here. I wanted a big posh do, but he would have none of it. He might be a billionaire, but today he was a proper Hahn. Maybe it's because we're getting married in the chapel at Llantwit Major. He's been trying to get me to say it properly, but I'm hopeless at it. It's those two L's at the beginning that I can't do. You have to say it as if you're being sick. LOL.
And there's something else he did today. It was lovely. While he was half drunk he made me and Gottwin and Hansie sing Pie Jesu over and over while he and dad and the others were drinking Schnapps or Brandy or wine. Only Gunther was on beer. I asked him why he was making us do it, but he just winked at me and told us to get on with it. But it took us ages to get it right. That's because of two things. Hansie hasn't sung much since his accident, so we had to get him back up to some sort of form. We ended up with Hansie taking the lead and me and Gottwin as backup to him. We did it eventually, and it was pretty good. Not to the high standards we used to be, but since Hansie's accident, singing has been on the back burner. And then he made us all sing Air on the G String together. That was easy. Frau Muller makes us do it all the time when we go to her, which is becoming less these days, probably because Hansie isn't with us.
Poor Hansie. He still can't walk properly yet. I'm not surprised. The injuries to his legs were awful. He broke both bones in his legs and they were sticking through his skin. They say it might be a year before he can walk properly. His little legs are really thin because his muscles have wasted. That's why he's having so much physiotherapy. But he really does try. Sometimes he'll get out of his wheelchair and walk with his sticks. He's the same as dad, but dad is almost better now. Well, he's not better, but he can get about. He still uses the chairlifts on the stairs though.
It's almost 2 am. Better get some sleep. Gareth says he's got a lot to sort out at the office before we fly to London and then drive to Wales. I'm going back with him to the apartment in the morning. I've got stuff to sort out before we fly out. We're all excited. None of us have ever been to the UK before. Well, Kurt and Heindrich have, but I mean us Hahns. Except for me, every one of us Hahns has had to renew or get new passports. Gunther is driving Mum and Dad and Gottwin to Tegel Airport in the VW Transporter; Gareth and I will make our own way, and Kurt and Hans and Heindrich will also meet us there. When we get to the UK, Gareth has hired a self-drive eight-seater mini-bus for us and a BMW 5 Series Hatchback for Kurt and Heindrich and Hansie, and Gareth says Gunther has got to drive ours. That should be fun.
I push my hand under the duvet and feel at Gareth's soft pinkler. I'm giggling to myself. I know what will happen in the morning. He'll get up early, have a shower, and then come in here with an air freshener, and when I get on at him, he'll say, "It stinks of sex in here. Your mum will wonder what the hell we've been up to!" LOL.
I stroke the side of his face. He's beautiful! All man, and more important, this gorgeous, powerful, super-rich man-hunk is all mine! I couldn't give a damn about the super-rich bit... it's the gorgeous and powerful part that makes me love him. But it's not only that. It's more than that and I can't explain in words what it is. I can only feel the things that affect me. I'm getting them now as I stare at his closed eyes and his gorgeous long, black eyelashes and I feel those emotions building inside me, bubbling like a cauldron almost and making my heart flutter. I want to know what's happening to me... why I was overwhelmed when I first saw the tears of his emotions and the love in his heart when he looked at me at The Schiller. Why me? Why anything? I can't work it out.
Then Gareth stirs. Most unusual when he's asleep. His head turns towards me and his eyelids open. He's looking at me. But these are not his usual beautiful eyes... they're even more beautiful and there's an intensity in them; a light that glows and pulsates. His eyes bore inside me, right to the place where my heart is fluttering and I feel an intense warmth within me like nothing I've ever felt before, and also an overpowering sense of peace. His eyes close and he is asleep again. But was he awake? I don't think he was. But I do know what was awake. For the very first time since we met, his spirit has just truly revealed to me what is inside the man I love and I'm overwhelmed by what I saw.
More tears now. Copious amounts of them flowing from my eyes and onto his shoulder. So many tears that I wipe them up with my fingers and smear them all over his beautiful face until its glistening with various shades of blue as they're reflected by the night light in the room. Tears of intense love all over my Beautiful Man's face. I love you Gareth, more than you will ever know or understand. But now I know that the spirit within you is aware of my feelings for you, I am at complete peace within myself. Pie Jesu: Qui tollis peccata mundi: dona eis requiem.
To be continued...
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