The Barrier
By Wes
Leigh
This is a work of fiction
intended solely for the entertainment of my readers; any resemblance to any
real people or places is purely coincidental. Readers who would like to chat
are encouraged to contact me at weston.leigh@protonmail.com.
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Micah's next ZipChat message was short and simple: E6.
Jack moved Micah's pawn up one space. He was trying to concentrate
on the game, but he kept remembering the amazing, horrible, wonderful jack off
session from the night before, which brought on another wave of shame. Jack told himself Micah couldn't possibly
have any idea what Jack had done, so stop fretting and just play chess. But it
was hard to concentrate, and he had a boner too.
He shoved his cock down hard, ordering it to settle down. Then
he looked back at the chess board.
It was clear that Micah intended to play a waiting game, supporting
and defending his queen's pawn. Jack studied the position of the pieces carefully
for a few moments. As usual, Micah was doing the unexpected. Well, two could
play at that game. Jack moved his own pawn up, mirroring Micah's move, then
typed: I know what you're trying to do, Micah. Since you're defending, I'll
move pawn to D3. How was your date last night?
Jack frowned after he clicked the send button. Why did he
have to bring up Micah's date? That was stupid. But Micah's reply set his heart
at ease.
It wasn't really a date, Jack. Just a meal with some
friends. Dinner and drinks afterwards. Bishop to B4.
Relieved to be let off the hook, Jack typed his answer.
Attacking my knight, huh? It won't work. Pawn take, D5. Who
were these friends?
Two guys visiting for the weekend. Jacob and I knew them
in college. We even double dated a few times years and years ago, so we're
actually very good friends. Pawn take, D5.
Jack smiled when he read that. He'd begun to worry that Micah
was spending too much time alone at home. It didn't seem healthy to Jack, so he
was happy to hear that Micah had gone out to eat with his friends.
I'm glad you're getting out again. You need that, Micah.
Micah didn't reply right away. Jack reread what he'd just
typed, hoping he hadn't said something upsetting. Finally, Micah's reply
appeared.
Yes, you're right about that, Jack. It's been too long
since I enjoyed good conversation over a fine meal with people who love and
care about me. We all need that. Speaking of which, have you found a boyfriend
yet?
Jack blushed when he read Micah's question. Immediately, his
thoughts went back to the jerking-off session from the night before and the way
it ended with images of Micah giving him a blowjob. He sent a quick reply.
No.
Micah's reply was short and cryptic: ...?
Jack responded: No, I haven't, Micah. In fact, I've
decided to stop dating altogether. I deleted my dating account.
Jack hoped Micah would take the hint and change the subject.
Oh? Okay. I didn't mean to pry, Jack. I hope I didn't
make you uncomfortable.
I'm not uncomfortable, Micah. I was going to tell you
about it, but I decided I'd rather play chess instead.
`Please,' Jack thought, `let's just play chess. No more talk
about dating or friendships or people I shouldn't be thinking about when I jerk
off.'
That's fine with me, Jack. But if you ever want to talk
about it ...
There's nothing to talk about, Micah. I decided to stop
dating for a while. I don't want a boyfriend. I just want friends I can talk to
and hang out with. That's all.
Jack, it sounds to me like there is more to it than that.
Has something else happened?
As usual, Micah seemed to be able to read between the lines
and sense that something wasn't right. Jack grimaced. How did Micah do that? It
must have something to do with him being a writer. Maybe he had writer's
telepathy or something. Jack quickly typed his answer.
It's no big deal, Micah. I just need to sort out some
stuff in my head.
Okay, Jack. You know how to reach me if you need someone
to talk to.
Did he need someone to talk to? Yes, he definitely
did.
If it had been anyone else in his fantasy, Jack knew what he
would have done. He would have immediately sent a message to Micah asking to
talk.
But how could he tell Micah that he'd jerked off while
fantasizing about Micah between his legs, kissing his thighs, sucking his cock.
Micah would think he was disgusting, and he'd lose the best friend he'd ever
had, all because of a stupid minute of perversion that his twisted teenage mind
dreamed up. No, this was definitely not something he'd
ever tell Micah.
But he did need to tell someone.
He'd thought about telling Ian but decided not to. They
weren't all that close yet, so he couldn't picture them talking about something
like this. Besides, Ian would probably take it the wrong way and start talking
about his own warped fantasies.
And he certainly couldn't tell either of his parents.
His dad would hide behind a newspaper out of embarrassment
that his son was admitting to jerking off with images of other men running
through his head. If he'd been fantasizing about an older woman between his
legs, his dad probably would have given him a hand slap and congratulated him
on his imagination. But not this. If he said a word, his dad would mumble
something useless and hide in the garage.
His mom would demand he see a psychiatrist. Then she'd yell
at his dad for causing their only child to have daddy issues before running to
the nearest police station, demanding that they arrest whatever old creep was
sneaking his way into Jack's mind.
There really was no one he could tell. Micah was the one
person he told about stuff like this, who listened patiently and gave him good
advice. But Micah was the one person he couldn't tell, and it was
making his stomach churn to keep it a secret.
Jack, are you still there?
Yeah. Sorry, Micah. I just have a lot on my mind.
Then maybe we should set the chess game aside for a while?
Once again, Micah was trying to help. Why couldn't he see
that Jack didn't want his help this time? Why couldn't he take a hint and stay
out of it?
No, it's okay, Micah. I'll figure it out on my own.
`Please,' Jack thought, `please don't ask me any more
questions, Micah.'
Take as long as you need, Jack. Sometimes
life comes at you with so many different things that it can be overwhelming. There's
too much to handle all at once. So you take it bit by
bit. Work through a few things until the stack is more manageable. And if you
have a good friend who is willing to help out, you let
your friend carry part of the load.
As Jack read that, he wanted to cry and scream at the same
time.
Why do you have to be so understanding, Micah? Why can't
you be an asshole like everyone else?
Jack waited. Micah didn't reply right away. Jack began to
worry that he'd finally said something to make Micah mad. Then Micah's answer
appeared.
What happened, Jack?
Jack shook his head with frustration.
I can't tell you.
Micah's reply surprised and shocked Jack.
When you grew your first pubes, all three of them, who
did you tell?
Jack laughed, shocked, when he read Micah's question. Where
was Micah going with all this?
You.
Right. And who did you tell when you had your first wet
orgasm in the shower with hair conditioner for lube?
Jack blushed.
You remember that?
Yes, I do. It was important day in the life of my little
buddy. You showed me tremendous trust when you shared those events with me. I've
never told another soul, and I never will. I thought that was the kind of
relationship you and I had. One where we could tell each other anything, and up
until now, there isn't anything you haven't told me.
Sorry, Micah. This is something I can't tell you.
It can't be that bad, Jack.
It is.
Jack, buddy, you've shared some of your deepest secrets
with me. You even told me when you used your mom's vibrator to find your
prostate.
OMG, Micah! Don't remind me. I can't believe I told you
that!
Jack, do you remember what I said to you then?
Yeah. I still do. You said it was normal, natural
curiosity. That there wasn't a thirteen-year-old boy on the planet who hadn't
stuck something up his butt to see what it felt like, and I just happened to be
lucky enough to use a vibrator. I thought I was a freak, but you told me I
wasn't.
I didn't want you to hate yourself for something that
every boy does, but every boy is afraid to tell anyone else about.
I get all that, Micah. I'm lucky I had you to talk to
back then.
You still have me to talk to now. There is nothing,
absolutely nothing you could do, that would be so bad you can't discuss it with
me ... your very best friend in all the world!
You're wrong, Micah. I can't you tell you about this.
Without saying goodbye, Jack closed the ZipChat session,
turned off his laptop, and shoved it aside, knocking it into the chessboard and
sending the pieces skittering all over the desk. He stared at the mess, stood
up and walked to his bed. Throwing himself down, he pressed his face into the
pillow and began pounding the mattress with his fist.
The end of THE BARRIER,
Chapter Ten