We were lying on our side on my bed, naked, in the dark. I was holding Guillermo in my arms and he was curled up against me. And, unusually for me, neither I nor Guillermo were sexually excited, despite our bodies being so closely adhering together.
"You do not want to fuck me?" he asked after a while, almost in a whisper.
"Not now. I'm okay."
"Me too..." he said, and it seemed the voice of a child. After a short silence he said: "Daniel..."
"Yes, Guillermo?"
"Nothing... I like to say your name... and hear you call mine..."
"Yes, Guillermo."
"Tomorrow is Sunday..."
"Yes."
"You do not work."
"No."
"I... you want to keep me with you? You can?"
I thought I only had an appointment, but nothing significant, I could cancel it.
"Yes, of course, Guillermo."
"I do not bother you?"
"No, not at all."
"Really?"
"Really, Guillermo."
"When you want to fuck me... I'm game... every time you want, Daniel..."
"We'll see..."
"It's not that... you do not have to pay me. With you... I do it willingly."
"Thank you."
"Thank you? Nobody ever told me thank you, Daniel. I have nothing to give you, Daniel... for all this. I have nothing to give you, only my ass..."
"You do not need to give me anything, Guillermo. And then... you've already given me something, telling me your real name."
"When I was eight years old... a man told me to go with him. He gave me something to eat... then he told me that I had to... he had been kind to me, therefore I should be kind to him... He took me in his bed, made me suck his dick... Then he made me turn and... he came on top me and he... he pushed it inside me...
"It hurt, I cried, I did not want... but he was strong... and he told me that I had eaten, and that therefore I had to give him my ass to thank him... and he has put it all inside me, and he banged inside me... and told me to stop crying... It was hurting, I felt as he was tearing everything back there... and he was pounding inside me... He was no longer kind; it hurt, and he held me still and was pounding in and I should not cry... I had not to cry...
"And so I learned not to cry. And then after a few days, it was not too bad... as he fed me and fucked me... two... three times a day... Every time when I wanted to eat, first I had to ask him... I had to ask him to please fuck me, and he fucked me... and afterwards I could eat.
"I had never eaten so much... I got used to it... and he also gave me a few pesos... and I gave them to Mom for her and my brothers, so at least they could eat something and... My mother knew what that man was doing to me... She also let men screw her to get us something to eat, she said. I am the eldest, I had to help her, she said...
"Then the gentleman sold me to a friend. He was an Italian man like you, called Giulio Barale. He made photos and movies with me and other children like me, as well as older ones and also men who had to fuck us all... We were kept in a room, we slept all together, and there were five, six children from six to ten years... The older boys helped him; the men, except three, changed... They were mainly tourists. Americans, Italians, French, or from other places, and they paid Giulio to fuck us.
"The older kids had to find new kids... even those boys who have been there to be fucked like us, but they were too old, so then they hustled on the streets and helped Giulio in his trade. And in the movies they acted as if they were an older brother, and as if those men were the father or a neighbor and they first groped us and then fucked us... and we had to make a happy face... If one of us cried during a movie, they beat him... we had to make a happy face... and let the men fuck us. And sometimes they had a too big dick and it was not easy at all to make a happy face... but then we were not allowed to eat and we were beaten.
"Valentin was six... he said he wanted to become an astronaut when he became older... At night he slept embraced with me... Then there was Rufo, who was eight years old like me... His mother had disappeared and he was left alone. He had no home; he could stay only there. The hacienda, it was called. And we were the animals of that hacienda. Then there was Alejandro, who was ten years old, and who was there for four years.
"During a film Valentin, who was then nine years old, had to take it up the ass by a black boy who had a too big dick... he yelled, cried... they stopped making the film and beat him... and they did not fed him... I gave him some of my food in secret, but Alejandro had discovered this... so they beat me as well... Then one night Valentin ran away...
"Three days later we were told that Valentin was dead... that he had killed himself... that he had hanged himself... And they told us that those who did not obey would end like that... Alejandro came to me at night to fuck me... and I was too sad, I said no, please... he started laughing and asked me if I wanted to end like Valentin... because Valentin had gone to the police, Alejandro said, thus they had hanged him... But they paid the police and so they came to know...
"He told me this while fucking me... and I cried... It did not hurt any more, but now I was crying for Valentin... Then there was Olindo. Olindo was eighteen years old... I liked doing it with him... Olindo was more kind than the others and he was skilled at fucking... and he was also beautiful, Olindo. It was he who paid us and he always gave me some extra pesos, in secret. Once a month I went to my mother's and brought her the money... Then Olindo went in prison because he had stolen the wallet of a tourist, a customer, I think... I never saw him again; I never heard anything more about him.
"Then I was too old for the movies... they wanted me to go out to hustle, but also to find other children... I said no... I was beaten, and then they kicked me in the street... I could do some tricks, but too little. I was always hungry... and I could not bring money home any more.
"And once a man gave money to my mother and took me to his house. He put the leash on me and made me act as a dog... His name was Roberto Chiesa; he was an industrialist from Milan who did business here in Buenos Aires. He threw me something to eat on the floor, but to eat those leftovers I had first to suck him, and then I could only eat if I went on all fours and he held me by the leash and he fucked me in the ass. And I slept in the garden, in his kennel, padlocked.
"He had a family photo in a silver frame: a beautiful wife and three sons - elegant, beautiful, well dressed, smiling, the smallest at my age... Sometimes he phoned in Italy, spoke with his wife and called her 'my love'... while I was between his legs and sucked him... And he spoke with his children and called them 'my treasure'... and fucked me with a finger in the ass... And sometimes made me go in his bathtub and he peed on me... then he told me that I was disgusting...
"Then he had to return to Italy for a few months... so I was back in the streets. And I still had on the leash that Roberto put on me. And I saw that some men liked that... and I discovered that if I acted as a dog I could earn a little more... thus... I became a dog. So now I can bring some more money back home. I have six brothers, at present, all younger than me... and I do not want them to have to become like me, to do my life. My mother is no longer able to earn so much money, now... not many men want to pay to fuck her. But I'm still young..."
He paused, emitting almost a sob. I held him to me, speechless, horrified. He went on speaking.
"But one day I will become too old... But I hope that my brothers may find a decent job before that day... and then I too could do something different, even if I do not know what yet. For now... the leash works... Also if some clients... at times like to hurt me... but when I think about poor Valentin... I think I'm lucky...
"But I never found... I had never met anyone like you, Daniel... never..."
I held him to me and gently rocked him: I wanted to cry with him... He called me Daniel and not Daniele... But my name was sweet, said by him. I stroked his hair and repeated in a whisper "Guillermo... Guillermo..." I could not, was not able not say more. Only "Guillermo... Guillermo..."
Then I whispered, "Fido died. Pablo is gone... There is only you, Guillermo, and I... just you and me..."
"But you'll get tired of me... and send me back to the street... I know... You'll get tired of me..."
"Why?" I asked.
"Everyone gets tired of me... Who am I? Nothing but an ass, a mouth, a dog to mistreat for fun... I have nothing else... I'm worthless, except for some fucking... but I'm growing old and I will be required less and less... "
"I like guys older than you are, usually, so I will like you more, I think..."
"Do not try to fool me... what will you do of me? You give me something to eat, clothes... money... you keep me here with you... for the moment... But I, besides my body, what can I give you? "
"What are you giving me... even at this moment..."
"What? It's just all commerce, giving and receiving, selling and buying. But if you eat a cake all day, every day the same cake, in the end you get tired, no? Especially if you're not someone who is dying of hunger. You... any boy would be there with you. You do not need me. "
"What do you know?"
"I know. You are better than others, but..."
"I came looking for you, right? Although I usually prefer older boys BUT I went back looking for you, right?"
"Something new... and the curiosity..."
"Why have you told me everything... all this to me?" I asked.
"Because you're the first that listens. Because one can no longer keep it all inside. Because you told me you feel all right even staying so... and you do not just want my ass..."
"And then?"
"And then. While it lasts... while it lasts it is all right with me. It's as if after so many years... it's like a vacation... while it lasts."
"You have just to try to make it last, and also I will try to make it last."
"Don't you want to fuck me, Daniel?" he asked after a short silence.
For the first time that evening, I realized that Guillermo was aroused: his member was now pressing against me.
"You want to do it?" I asked.
"Yes."
"But do you like to do it with a man?"
"Yes... I liked it with Olindo and with a few customers. I like it with you. Fuck me, Daniel..."
He pushed against me, caressed me, rubbed slightly against me and soon I began to get excited.
"I do not want to fuck you..."
Guillermo took in his hand, strong and gentle, warm and soft, my cock now hard.
"This says something else..."
"I do not want to fuck you... I feel like making love to you..." I told him.
"Making love... and then make love to me. But put it inside my little ass, please..."
"Please?"
"Yes... not for money, but to do me a favor..."
"But you need money, right?"
"For this time, Daniel, for once, let me not think about money..."
I kissed him, and if the other times he responded to my kisses, I felt that this time his answer was different. This time I felt him give in to me, and I felt that he really desired me. I cannot explain why, how, but I felt that this time... he needed me more than my money, and not just because he had said so.
I felt that, although he said he did not see the difference between fucking and making love, this time Guillermo wanted to make love and not just a fuck. So I dedicated myself to him.
I caressed him for a long time, we kissed, and we joined for a while in a sweet sixty-nine. Then, without saying anything, without even realizing it, he offered himself to me. I went over him and he girded my waist with his legs. He put his arms around my neck, and moved so as to be penetrated. Then he stopped all of a sudden and withdrew from me. A little surprised, I let him go, wondering why he had changed his mind. But despite my excitement, I was determined to let him do what he wanted, to respect him.
"Let me go... just a moment..." he whispered.
Still a little puzzled, I took off from above him. Guillermo slipped off the bed, lit the lamp on the nightstand, opened the drawer and took out a condom. He was again beside me and looked at me earnestly as usual but for the first time, serene.
"You must not forget this... I might have some disease... I went with too many men. I do not want you to take risks, Daniel. You do not deserve it."
I nodded and smiled. I held out my hand to take the condom he had extracted from the bag, but he shook his head.
"Leave it to me, Daniel." he whispered.
He crouched on the bed beside me, and with a few skilled moves put on me the condom. Then he lay on his back and pulled his legs onto his chest.
"Take me, Daniel, please..."
I moved as to turn off the lamp, but he asked me to leave it on. Then I went over him, and caressed his cheek. He closed his eyes. I bent over him and kissed him. As he reciprocated my kiss, slipping a hand between our bodies, guided my hard cock towards him. When I felt it was on his hot hole, I started pushing. As soon as I began to penetrate him, he removed his hand, put again his arms around my neck and pushed against me.
I sank into him slowly. Guillermo closed his eyes. I watched his serious face, his black eye, and the patch on the side of the mouth... and he was beautiful anyway. When I was fully inside, I stopped. He made his ring of flesh throb around the root of my cock, and then he also contracted the warm and soft rectum around my rod.
"Go on..." he whispered.
I began to withdraw slowly then pushed back into him, back and forth, back and forth, and Guillermo was moving underneath me slightly, so to accentuate my and his own pleasurable sensations.
"Is it okay, so?" I asked.
He nodded, his eyes still closed.
I applied a growing energy to my thrusts and he pressed with greater force against me. After a few minutes Guillermo opened his eyes - I read astonishment in them, I felt him shudder, tremble, and with strong jets he emptied between our bellies. I stopped.
"No, go on... Go on, Daniel... I had never come so... go on..."
"You like?" I asked looking into his beautiful, dark and deep eyes.
He nodded. I continued to move inside him. Now he no longer shut his eyes but kept staring into mine. I felt that his cock was still hard against my belly. He pulled me to him, to kiss me. It was the first time that he wanted to be kissed... also our mouths joined, while, I was going on moving into him with less strong strokes.
Now his tongue was playing with mine, and his hands united behind my neck parted - with one he caressed me along the backbone, with the other caressed my neck and hair. Guillermo was finally fully participating in our union. This only increased my pleasure.
I forgot that he was just a hustler, I forgot the bad things he had told me about his life, I forgot the leash, I forgot his black eye, his cheek swollen with the patch: I was with a wonderful guy and I was making love with him...
I felt the pleasure that I was giving him even more than that he was giving me, and I felt transported to a higher level, in a new, clean, right world. When I got close to the peak of pleasure I felt also happy... and I finally emptied into him in a series of strong and pleasant jets. I continued to move inside him until I saw his eyes light up and also Guillermo emptied for the second time between our bodies.
For the first time I saw a sweet smile, though very short, glimmer in his eyes. Then, as we stopped, he closed his eyes again... and tears fell slowly from them. I caressed his sound cheek, holding my breath, almost afraid to upset that time that had something magical.
I let myself go on him, while Guillermo stretched his legs, but he did not loosen the grip of his arms on my back. I heard him gasp and shudder slightly from time to time under me. We slowly relaxed.
My member and his slowly returned to being soft and mine slipped out of him. I settled better, so as not to weigh on him, and slipped to his side. He also turned on his side, but always holding me tight in his arms. I caressed him gently. I took him in my arms and with my legs surrounded his. He pushed against me.
"We made love, right?" he asked in a whisper. "We were not just fucking, right?" he asked.
"Yes Guillermo, we made love."
"You should not have..."
"What?"
"Make me this."
"What?" I repeated, wondering what he meant.
"Make me make love..."
"Why?"
"Because... it's too good..." he said, still crying silently.
"Look at me..." I whispered.
"No..."
"Why?"
"Give me time..."
"For what?"
"To... oh, Daniel... to... oh, why did you do it?"
"Because... because you are important to me, Guillermo."
"Important? How important? Why important?"
"Mowgli came out of the jungle... he returned to live with men."
"It's not just a fairy tale?" he asked once again with his baby voice.
"No, Guillermo is not just a fairy tale..."
"But who are you? What do you want from me, you? What do you expect? What can I give?" he almost moaned.
"Even I, after all, I was always alone... Alone like you, even if I believed I was who held the leash, instead of wearing it. Alone, until I met you..."
"I do not know you, you do not know me..."
"Mowgli could not speak, even though he knew all the languages of animals. But he could not speak the language of men. But... but then he learned... and came back to being a man because he was already a man's cub."
Guillermo shook his head, but I knew it was not a denial but simply an attempt to understand something that he had never got to see. He opened his eyes, wet with tears, and looked at me.
"You do not send me away? At least for a while? At least until... until I learn the language of men? Of real men?"
"No, I do not send you away."
"But what can I do for you?"
"Do not worry about it for now. We'll find something if we both want it. And you?"
He nodded and pressed back against me and kissed me once more. Then I felt him relax, always against me. He closed his eyes again, and slowly drifted off to sleep. His grip loosened. I looked at the beautiful, battered face - now he had a relaxed, almost serene expression. I, too, little by little, let go and let the arms of a sweet sleep grab me.
I awoke several hours later; the sun had already risen. Guillermo was still curled up against me and was sleeping. I stroked him gently, trying not to wake him. He let out a slight groan, and pushed more against me.
I was trying not to move, not to wake him, but felt an increasingly strong urge to go to the toilet. Finally, trying to do it as quietly as I could, I freed myself from the embrace of Guillermo and went to the bathroom.
When I returned to the bedroom, Guillermo was awake, sitting up in bed. His naked body was beautiful. His expression was serious; his eyes were on mine, as I approached the bed. I sat on the edge, next to him, and with the fingertips caressed his chest, his small dark nipples.
"Did you sleep well?" I asked.
He nodded. He also brushed my chest.
"It is Sunday. We have the whole day for us..." I told him.
"Take me... would you take me to Mass at the cathedral?"
I was not expecting such a request - they were years that I did not put foot in a church, other than as a tourist...
"Did not you tell me that God is just a fairy tale?" I asked him gently.
"Even Mowgli is just a fairy tale, right?"
"Yes..."
"But you have made me live it, right? And then... who knows... maybe even that of God could be not just a fairy tale, right?"
"As you wish. We'll go to church. But now, is it not better that I go to prepare breakfast?" I asked with a smile.
He nodded.
"Are you hungry?" I asked, standing up.
He nimbly got out of bed. Once again I admired his feline grace and wondered how anyone could "use" a boy like Guillermo... Not that there's someone who deserves to be used, it is clear; no human being is an object. Everyone should be respected; but especially when you encounter a gentle, defenseless being, I would say that the duty to respect him becomes even more compelling.
We went to wash. He asked me if I had a disposable razor, a toothbrush... I gave him everything he needed. I felt tenderness seeing that he shaved the fluff on his face. Then, we wore two bathrobes, went into the kitchen and began to prepare an abundant breakfast. Without saying anything, Guillermo laid the table.
"Guillermo..."
"Yes?" he said, stopping his fork in midair and watching me.
Now he looked at me more often than before.
"Listen... As you say, we still do not really know each other. But we're getting to know us a little."
"Yes..."
"If you'd stop here with me, I don't know but... Maybe to make the home chores... I could give you a monthly pay, plus room and board, and clothes... so you can give the money to your mother and your brothers... and you do not have to live in the street... and not have to wait for customers... Would you, Guillermo? " I said in a stream of consciousness and hope.
"But I... I'm not able to do anything... And then, you trust me?"
I thought: What was the risk? That one day I found him no longer at home, that he stole me something... I did not think he would do it, but I was willing to take the risk.
"I have no reason not to trust you. At least until you give me one."
"But I'm not able to do anything..." he repeated.
"You know how set the table, right?" I said with a smile, then added: "And you can learn to do the rest. I will teach how and what to do. Are you game?"
"And... I would live here with you, Daniel?" the boy asked looking at me with a startled expression.
"Yes. If you want, I have a spare room that you could use..."
"Why, you do not want me in your bed?"
"Every time you really want..."
"Then I do not need a room, right? But you have to teach me everything I need to know... I'm not able to do anything... And I do not know if I'll be able to do correctly what you want..."
"But you want to try?"
"I liked doing that sand castle... then the rain came and destroyed it..." he said looking at the floor again. "And the other guys beat me and sent me away."
"Sometimes things can go well..." I suggested. "You want to try?"
"I... yes, I would like to try... but you... you will have patience with me?"
"I think so, Guillermo. If you have patience with me."
"I with you? I have patience with you?"
"It takes two to want it, to be well together."
"I fear..."
"Fear? What?"
"Of... of not being capable. And to get you tired of me. To have to go on the road again after that... after I deluded myself... after I begin to live under the illusion that things are changing..."
"Do not be afraid, Guillermo. Not of me."
"But what the others will say if you keep me here? A street kid..."
"The others do not need to know. I will buy for you best clothes; tell everyone you're my house help, even the doorman, so you can enter and exit without problems... We will say that I searched for house help and I've found you... "
"But if they ask me what I did before? Where am I from?"
"You said that your mother lives not far from here, no? You want to tell me where?"
"At Bemal. Near Bemal."
"I found you in Bemal, then."