Date: Fri, 1 Aug 2003 22:34:07 -0500 From: Rhaven Subject: The Long Road Chapter Two This story contains strong language and sexual content between boy/man. For more stories and poems, please visit: www.rhavenlore.com Sunday May 25. actually it's Monday now, being 12:01 am. Today I met an angel. Maybe I should start at the beginning. How long has it been since I have written in this journal.six months, a year? Doesn't matter, I have to write down my feelings, before they engulf me. I spent the morning becoming more familiar with this museum of a house. Dusting away the constant discomfort, I continually felt in every hallway, in every room. My invasion into the privacy of every corner of this place actually helped me make a certain peace here. I knew that Bram was returning today. I knew and I was afraid. I think that was what drove me to explore the house. My fear gave me courage to raid the Brice house to find it's secrets. The only discovery I made was that though Maggie tried her best to make this a home, the fact that there were no pictures of Bram or Mr. Brice or any other family member had me wondering what this place really was. When the time finally came, I have to admit that I thought my heart was going to burst from anticipation. Maggie had called me to the main hall as Mr. Sonnenfeld pulled up in the limousine. It bothered me how calm Maggie and Nancy were as we waited for Bram to enter the house. It took me a few minutes to get a clear view of the boy as Maggie and Nancy cooed over him like mother hens. I did get the impression that Bram liked the attention, but I never caught him smiling. When finally Maggie remembered my being there and introduced me, I was tongue-tied. Bram wasn't that plump lazy boy I had imagined. I don't think I can put down in words his true beauty. He has perfect blonde hair, that I swear glistens like gold. And his eyes. my god what eyes! I could swim in those blue eyes for an eternity. I guess I was most amazed by his build. From what I read, Bram wasn't much of an athlete, but he has a body even the Greek Gods would envy. So thin and frail, yet he possesses an essence of strength, it was very confusing. I was humbled by his loveliness. The gently slope of his nose, his full lively lips, I have seen beauty before and most that have this great gift are all too aware of its power. Bram seemed completely ignorant of his exquisiteness and this amazed me. I should also add that our first meeting went exactly as I had expected. Maggie introduced me with her normal cheer, but Bram only looked at me without saying a word. I tried to start a conversation. I believe I said 'howdy' and some kind of joke of being a male nanny. Thankfully, I can't remember my exact words. I am sure I presented the perfect fool. Bram stared at me for a moment; I'm not sure what he saw. At first, it seemed he blushed. But whatever he saw or thought, he never voiced it. Bram left me standing there watching him ascend the stairs to his room. I don't think I will last a week at this job. CHAPTER TWO Jeremy awoke amazed. He had thought sleep was impossible, but sometime during the early hours of the morning, weariness had won. He looked over at his clock and was happy to see he hadn't slept the morning away. Jeremy was determined to do his job, no matter what his fears told him. He got dressed and marched out of his room, only to find himself staring at the boy's closed door as if it were the gates to Hell. "You're being an idiot." Jeremy told himself. "He's just a boy." Jeremy inhaled deeply, knocked at the door, and then slowly opened it. "Bram, it's Jeremy. Jeremy Roberts. May I come in?" Jeremy entered the room quietly and walked over to the bedroom. Bram wasn't in the bed, but sitting at his desk. The boy was fully dressed. It only took a second for Jeremy to realize that Bram had stayed up all night. The bed was untouched and Bram still had on the clothes he had arrived in yesterday. The boy was brooding over his vacation with his father. Jeremy was now determined to help this lonely child. "Good. good morning Bram." "Morning." Bram said flatly without turning around to look at him. "I know this is a little awkward. but I am here to help you." Jeremy mentally slapped himself. To say that Bram needed help was just plain stupid. Of course, he believed the boy needed help, Jeremy was sure it would only make Bram defensive. "So. why don't we head down stairs for breakfast and then we can start your studies." The boy stood finally and headed for the door. Jeremy followed quietly until they arrived in the kitchen. As he had expected, Maggie had breakfast already fixed for them. "Good morning to you two. Bram I bet you were glad to be back in your own bed?" "Yes ma'am I am." "You two eat up, I bet you have a busy day ahead of you." Maggie placed a plate staked high with pancakes in front of both of them. Jeremy wanted to start a conversation, but the truth was he had no idea what to say to this boy. He knew nothing of his life, though he could guess what it was like. He knew nothing of his loves, of his hobbies or even habits. It was like talking with an alien from another planet. As far as Jeremy knew, they had nothing in common. This left him with nothing to talk about. Apparently, Maggie noticed the uncomfortable silence. "Mr. Roberts have you done any painting since you have arrived?" "Not yet, I was thinking of starting something tonight." Bram barely looked up from his pancakes, but Jeremy did notice a peak in the boy's attention. "Well I can't wait to see some of your work. I'm sure it will be wonderful. You know Bram is an excellent artist too, maybe you could give him some lessons." "I'm not that good." Bram said blushing again, looking up at Maggie as if he was disturbed with her mentioning something so personal. "We could work it in with our studies, if you want Bram." Jeremy smiled. "You're not going to be my friend. So stop trying." Bram jumped up from the table, almost tripping over his chair. "I didn't ask you here and I don't want you here!" "Bram!" Maggie said stunned. "That is no way to act." Before anyone could say another word, Bram had raced out of the kitchen, leaving Jeremy stunned. This was the child he had been expecting, the spoiled little brat. "I am so sorry Mr. Roberts; I just don't know what gets into that boy sometimes." "It's all right Maggie. I knew this wasn't going to be easy." Jeremy was thankful that Maggie was silent as he finished his breakfast. He ate not from hunger, but for the distraction. He knew that once he finished eating, he had to go upstairs and see Bram. After an extra cup of coffee, Jeremy mustered up the strength to head upstairs. He found Bram sitting again at his desk, staring blankly out his window. "Time for class." Jeremy said and left the room. He walked back to his room and sat down behind his desk. He wasn't sure exactly what he would have done if Bram hadn't come, but thankfully the boy did. "I want to cover with you your schedule for our first semester. Plus, I have a small test for you to take to get a feeling of your knowledge." Jeremy hated being so cold. He did want to be friends with Bram, but he knew it was something that wasn't going to happen if Bram didn't want it. Jeremy calmly went over the schedule and what he expected from Bram. After he finished that, he gave Bram the test. It covered everything from history to algebra. Some questions were easy, but others were extremely difficult. As the boy began the test, Jeremy stood up and walked over to the window. It was going to be a beautiful day; there wasn't a cloud in the sky. Jeremy wished he could bring the glory of the day into the room. Jeremy wondered if Bram had dreams, desires like those that he did. He knew Bram was just a kid, but he seemed so aged. It was the look in the boy's eyes. As if, they had seen a lifetime of experience in his short years. It made Jeremy sad to think of the pain Bram must feel, all the lonely nights in want of a hug. Those were his feelings, his longings, and he hated seeing someone else live them. All he really wanted was to help Bram, give him a chance to know happiness. What a wonderful thought, what a perfect moment. if only Bram would open his heart and let him in. "And I sighed. The air flowed over my lips with a gentle calm. Euphoria erased away all my pain and sadness. Joy filled my soul and I found the true me. And I sighed. I sighed from happiness. I sighed from love. The perfect moment frozen in my dreams. As the sun rises everyday, so has my spirit. And I sighed. A sigh of comfort. A sigh of completeness. His innocent nature and jubilant personality. A gift created by God, an angel here on Earth. And I sighed. And I sighed. For the love, he shows me, for his unequaled trust. He accepts who I am without judgment or fear. I smile from knowing I am not alone and loved. And I sighed." Jeremy turned away from the window and was confused by the look Bram was giving him. "That. that was a nice poem." Bram said. It took a moment for Jeremy to realize he had been speaking aloud, he felt his face burn from embarrassment. "Um.thank you." He finally was able to say. "Who wrote that?" Bram scooted his chair away from his desk and put down his pen. "I wrote it." Jeremy mentally went over his poem and blushed more when he realized how expressive it was. He looked back out the window, now unable to look the boy in the eyes. "How about we head outside." "Outside? What about my test?" Bram said looking at his unfinished work. "Let's call it a field trip. It's too nice outside to be indoors." Bram didn't argue as he followed Jeremy out of the room, though Jeremy did hear a lot of quiet grumbling coming from the boy. The cool breeze against the warm rays of the sun felt wonderful on Jeremy's face. He walked out across the deep green grass of the backyard. It was humorous how Bram followed him, not too close, but not to far from him. Jeremy wondered what Bram really thought about his poem. Had it disgusted him or frightened him? Jeremy didn't think so, the boy seem to genuinely like the poem. "What are we doing out here?" Bram asked as he sped up to look Jeremy in the face. "Taking a walk, enjoying the sun, the breeze, seeing the goodness of life." "Romantic dribble. There's nothing out here but bugs, dirt and decay. I hate the outdoors." Jeremy looked down at the boy; he had a child's voice, but the mind of an old bitter man. "Do you really think there is nothing out here? Look around Bram, there is so much beauty here it's overwhelming!" Bram did look around as if trying to see what Jeremy was talking about, he finally lowered his head. "I only see trees and grass." Bram whispered. "Do you write poetry Bram?" Jeremy stepped up to a tree and ran his hand over the rough gray bark. Bram joined him, but ignored the tree. "I tried, but it was all crap. I . I really like poems, but sometimes I don't understand all that dreamy gibberish. I can't write that stuff." Jeremy sat down at the base of the tree and patted the spot next to him. He was happy to see Bram take his offer and sit. "Not all poetry is about romance you know. That's the great thing about it, it can be about anything." Bram squirmed uncomfortably under the tree; he was an indoor boy sitting outside. Like a fish out of water, thought Jeremy. "Why don't we make that your first homework assignment? Write a poem and remember it can be about anything." "I don't think my father is paying you, so I can learn to write poetry." Bram said finally standing, unable to take the hard ground any longer. "Actually if you wish to argue the point, it is a part of you English text book. Just try to have fun with it, express your feelings. I think you'll find it therapeutic." "Great, now you're my psychologist?" Jeremy stood up so quickly that it made Bram flinch from the action. "I don't understand why you take everything so seriously. No I'm not your psychologist, nor do I want to be." Jeremy was going to say more, but Bram stormed off again. "Damn it! Bram wait up!" The boy stopped running and turned to face Jeremy defiantly. "What do you want?" "I. I'm sorry we seem to be butting heads. I'm not here to make your life miserable. so if we can just try to get along, then maybe. maybe one day." "Maybe we can be friends?" Bram finished Jeremy's sentence and then laughed. "Why would you want to be my friend? What's the point, you won't stay, no one stays!" Jeremy didn't stop Bram as he ran for the house. Once again, Jeremy found himself eating alone and was grateful for the silence. Maggie only gave him a compassionate grin as she took a tray of food up to Bram's room. Jeremy was completely lost. He had never met anyone so angry at the world and had no idea how to handle it. He still wanted the job or at least he thought he still wanted it, but didn't see how he could last here, if Bram hated him so much. The day dragged on as Jeremy spent his time in his room working over future tests. He knew he was probably wasting his time, but he had nothing else to do. By nine o'clock, he had worked out six months of projects in Algebra, History, English, and Science. He had just pushed away the pile of papers when a knock came at his door. "Come in." "Thought you might be hungry." Jeremy tried to smile when Maggie pushed open the door, he had hoped it was Bram, but apparently, that dream was now dead. "I guess I could eat something." Jeremy stood up and took the tray from Maggie. It was a beautifully made salami sandwich with chips and a large pickle. "And something to wash it down with." Maggie pulled a bottle out of her pocket and handed it to Jeremy. "Jack Daniels?" Jeremy looked at the bottle again to make sure he wasn 't dream. "You want me to drink this?" Maggie sat down on the couch. "Let me tell you something Mr. Roberts. I like you." "Well. thank you Maggie, I like you too." Jeremy sat down and took a bite from the sandwich. "I just wished Bram thought the same way." "That's just it Mr. Roberts, you care. The other nannies couldn't give a damn if Bram liked them or not. Don't give up on him okay?" Jeremy frowned and looked at the bottle of Jack Daniels. Maggie saw him staring at the bottle and picked it up. "You drink this, relax and enjoy the rest of the night. Tomorrow is a new day full of new possibilities." Maggie handed Jeremy the bottle again and stood. "You are a good man Mr. Roberts, just be patient with Bram, everything will work out I'm sure of it." Maggie left without saying anything else. Jeremy looked at the bottle and smiled. He wasn't much of a drinker, never had been. Maybe Maggie had been right. He couldn't expect a miracle to happen in one day, even the world took seven days to create. There was a lot going on with Bram that Jeremy didn't know about. The boy was holding in a lot of pain and frustration. Jeremy just hoped there was someway for him to break down the barriers or at least get a peek over them.