Date: Wed, 30 Mar 2022 06:33:53 -0400
From: Eric Murphey <ericmurphey1971@gmail.com>
Subject: The Premontion Part 30 Gay adult youth

Well, this is it.  I hope you like it.Donate to Nifty.
They like that so they can still give us nice stories to read.
I like it so I have nice stories to read like Devyns Struggle.  You
should read it.  Its amazing. Also been reading a few others that are
great.  the contractor is amazing.  Then Andrew has Jiujitsu Boy and
Ginger bread boy.  Both amazing stories.  If you havent read these you
should.  All very well written and good stories.
Eric

The Premonition

Part 30

Written by

Eric Murphey

Edited by

Zero Moss


The boys and I stop and pick up Eddie on the way back to the farm.

"Daddy, we got to stop and tell Mrs Washington," Jack half cries out as
we turn onto their road.

"I had certainly planned on it. I think I need her counsel in this
matter."

"Her counsel?" Jim asks.

"Her advice on what I should do."

Eddie is completely out of the loop, and he frankly doesn't care. He is a
boy in love. That full-fledged, I-would-do-anything-for-you kind of love.

When we get to the end of their road, we get out and the boys race into
the house, all except Eddie who kind of lags back with me. We walk in
together, and the first thing we see is Sarah walking out of the kitchen
with the boys behind her, nibbling cookies.

"Rick, what pray tell is this boy rambling on about? You are going to be
the principal. Of what? We don't have a school except right here."

I hold up my hand in front of me.

"I went to Mathews Market today. I was talking to Mark and they have put
together a town council. They are trying to get the community back to the
way it was, but even better. He asked me if I would take on the project
of getting the school started again. I tried to tell him that there are
tons of better choices; you, for instance. I mean, hell, I didn't even
graduate college. His response was that we need you in the classroom
because you are a great teacher."

"I am hardly a great teacher. Mark Mathews always had a crush on me is
all. Poor boy! I would look over at him and he would have a hard dick the
entire class period. So what did you tell him?"

"I really just told him I would think about it. I mean, what do I know
about running a school?"

"About the same as me. I never wanted to be an administrator. I wanted to
teach, and that's all I wanted to do. So I never learned anything about
the administrative side. Out of curiosity, what are your ideas, if you do
take the job, that is?"

"Well, of course, find any and all experienced teachers would want to do
it again. Then if we can't find enough, find other people who are
interested and see what they can do. I mean, shit, Earl could teach auto
shop and Mike could teach wood working. I think both of those skills will
be in huge demand. Of course, Mario can teach Spanish if we can't find
anyone else. Also, I want to be able to include all the children in the
county. I am sure we can find a van or something to pick them up. I also
want to make sure that every child has breakfast and lunch provided for
them.

"I'm thinking that I want to invite parents to come, too, if they
haven't gotten their education and would like to. I was also thinking
that it would be good to start a food pantry for people who don't have
enough food, and a clothes pantry as well. I mean, we aren't getting
shipments of clothes from China anymore. So I think that the children can
bring in their old clothes that don't fit anymore, and then the others
can get good use out of them. The same goes for shoes and boots. I know
wearing someone's old shoes is kind of gross, but what other options do
we have at this time?

"You know, Tina could teach home economics; well, sewing skills anyway."

"You could teach cooking, Rick," Sarah adds.

"I don't think I'm very good at it."

"Oh you are, daddy," Jack insists.

"Besides, you make things that taste good and are simple," Sarah points
out.

"Well, that's a thought too, I suppose," I allow, scratching my beard.

I sit on the couch and instantly Jack is right next to me. I lean back
and they can all see I'm in deep thought about all of this.

"So Rick, when are you going to tell him you're going to do it?" Mike
asks.

"I'm not sure I'm going to."

"Get the fuck outta here! You are so going to do it! Everyone in this
room knows it but you," Mike declares. He rarely swears except to
emphasize a point, which he definitely does this time.

"Sarah, do you think you could help me talk to the other teachers? I
mean, it's not like money means anything anymore. It will be done
basically on a volunteer basis, because it is just the right thing to do.
Of course, all teachers will get fed breakfast and lunch for their
services, but can you think of any other carrots we can dangle in front
of them?"

"The fact that we will have no state testing will be a plus for a lot of
them!"

"How about, say, if they need something done on their home, Mike and his
class will do that for them? And if their car needs fixed, then Earl and
his class will fix it? Is that enough do you think?"

"I think the best thing to do is ask what they want," Sarah suggests.

I nod my head and reply, "Yeah, that is probably the best way. Besides, I
haven't even asked any of you guys if you want to do it. I just figured
you would."

"Your doggone right we will!" Mike says, speaking for himself and Sarah.

"So Mike, what do you desire from teaching?"

"I don't want anything. Well, nothing you can give me, anyway."

I cock my head and press him, "What is it you want?"

Mike takes a sip of his coffee.

"Well, we all know about each other's inclinations, though we haven't
ever really talked about it." He takes another sip of coffee and puts the
cup down.

"Okay."

"Things have changed and people are pretty accepting of whatever is going
on now. I want to teach a class on sex education."

"Sure, I see no problem with that."

"I mean a hands-on course."

I nod and add, "Of course we would have to get parental approval for
this."

"Of course. I'm thinking we start at age nine. Teach them the basics of
boy- boy, girl-boy, and girl-girl, and go from there. Along with teaching
shop class, too."

"Sarah, would you be willing to help him with that?"

She just grins.

"I will take that as a yes. I'm thinking that Earl may have a desire to
help as well," I add.

"I'm sure of it. I'm sure you would want to help as well," Mike replies.

I shakes my head no and explain, "I have all I can handle at home. But I
may sit in on a few classes to help if a young boy catches my fancy and
is keen on the idea of sleeping with the principal.

"So Sarah, when do you think we should start?"

"If everything goes right, I'm thinking mid-October, maybe even the first
of November."

"Why so late? Didn't it used to start in like August?"

"Yes it did. However, we are going to be having lots of children whose
parents depend on them to harvest crops. It is how they will survive and
how we will survive as well. I think that if we go say November 1st to
May 1st we will be able to do a pretty good job teaching them."

"That's only six months. How can we do it in six months?"

"Rick, how much time do you think we will need? Do you realize how much
useless information we taught the children before? I think we need a
basic curriculum to start with: reading, math, science, history, and
general education which will include cooking, wood working, auto. These
are the things that will help them and our community as well."

"What about Spanish? And I could teach French."

"We can set aside additional time for that if the student wants to stay
later. It will be like an after-school club that way. So if they really
want to learn it, they can."

"I see what you are saying, and it makes sense. We also need to find
paper and well, school shit. I mean I hardly have much of it, and I know
you don't either. What have you been using in your class now?"

"Mike made little white boards for the children. I come around and make
sure they are doing things properly and then they can use it again. Also,
I figure that after all the stores got looted, who would take paper and
pencils and things like that?"

"So we need to go loot the Walmart and Office stores then?"

Mike nods his head in agreement.

"Alright then, I guess it's settled. I got two teachers and me. Now I
need to go talk with Earl and Tina. Then I'll talk with Mario, and see
if Lupe has anything she can add to the mix."

"Um, Mexican cooking for starters."

"You know what I'm thinking? We can start a radio station. How many were
around here before? I know of three at least. We can start doing that as
well. Not to mention we have the oil refinery that we need to get
restarted so that we can get gas to the farmers and other people who
require fuel. Damn, I got a lot on my plate when this morning I just went
to trade some eggs for chicken wire!"

"You know Rick, I was thinking, the school has a pretty good sized lot
next to it," Mike chimes in.

"Yeah? Go ahead."

"You mentioned chicken wire. It made me wonder how we are going to
provide food for all the children. So I'm thinking that we can use that
area to raise chickens and a few cows and pigs, and use them to feed the
school children. I think that some of them will already know how to tend
the animals, and we can teach the others as we go, because they will need
these skills as well."

"That's fucking brilliant! I hadn't even thought about how to feed them;
I just knew that I wanted to."

"If I'm not mistaken, there is a nice sized field behind the school as
well. We can grow wheat and corn for flour for the meals, and feed corn
for the animals."

"I tell you what, Mike, you start figuring out what we need to do to get
that ready ASAP for the school year we hope to start."

"How many people we talking about feeding?"

"I have about as much of an idea as you."

"That, my friend, is not a helpful answer."

I shrug and say, "I will try to find out and get back to you on it as
soon as I know.

"Come on guys, let's go talk to everyone."

The boys had just been watching the adults talk back and forth like it
was a tennis match. They all load up into the truck and we head over to
Earl and Tina's. When we arrive, Joseph races out and into the house,
shouting because he is so excited he is FINALLY going to get to go to
school. My boys and I amble up afterward, and Earl and Tina walk outside
to greet us.

"What is this about Joseph going to a real school?" Earl asks.

"That's what I came to talk to you guys about. Let's go inside and sit
down. We have some things to discuss."

"Alright," Earl says, still confused and now worried.

"Rick, you want some coffee? I made some sweet rolls if you want one as
well."

"Yes to the coffee and most assuredly yes to the sweet roll," I grin.

Tina doesn't bother asking the boys; she just gets them one roll each on
a plate and they sit at the table to enjoy it. None of them says a word
in anticipation of the conversation the adults are about to have.

I take a bite of the sweet roll and smile.

"Tina, these are amazing! That's part of the reason I came to talk with
you guys. See, I was in Mathews Market talking to Mark, and he asked me
if I wanted to head up the project to restart the school. I told him that
of course I have no qualifications for that job. He basically said that
I'm capable of the task and he knows that I can do it. I may have gotten
suckered because no one else wants to do it.

"But you know what? I think that together we can do a great job at it. I
talked to Mike and Sarah and they are interested in helping. So far, this
is what we have figured out."

I detail what the Washingtons and I had come up with so far, but leave
out the sex education classes on purpose because I know Earl will
probably go there.

"I would like to, Rick, I really would. But before all of this happened I
got into trouble and spent some time in prison," he relates, looking
down and feeling ashamed. Even though everyone knows that now the adults
are having sex with the kids, Earl still has deep shame about it. He
still remembers the prosecutor calling him a monster and a deviant, and
telling him he just preys on the young for his own personal
gratification, even though it wasn't like that at all. When you keep
hearing it over and over in your head, you start to believe it. He got
into fights while in prison, and there were guys who wanted to kill him.
They just didn't understand that it was consensual and that it was love,
not just sex. Anyone can have sex, but the love is what truly makes it
special.

"No one would want me around their children, Rick."

"Actually, Mike and I discussed that as well. Things are different now.
People, it seems, have left their old fears and prejudices behind. We all
met the man with the ten year old wife, and no one has lynched him. They
see it for what it is, a loving couple. Seems all the people who hated us
before the collapse have all gone away. Honestly, they were so filled
with hatred and self-loathing, they probably used all their arsenals on
themselves.

"One thing I know, Earl, is that you are a good man. I personally think
that the school and the children would benefit greatly from your
expertise. How many farmers would love for their own children to be able
to fix the tractor for them? Do you think they would give two shits if
you and a boy in a life so far away from where we are now fell in love
and made love? You know that my boys and I do things. Hell, you know that
your boy and I have done things. Do you think of me any differently
because of it?"

"Envy," Earl replies.

"Explain; I don't understand."

"Rick, you just seem so sure of yourself all the time. You accept that
you are how you are and accept who you are. I just can't do that."

"Do you think it has always been like that? I know exactly where you are,
buddy. I haven't had your experiences and I admit I'm thankful for that.
I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. But one thing I do know is that I
really care about you. No, I love you, Earl, and I know that my boys do
as well. I think that it's time that you see our love and accept it from
us because we know the true Earl. We know that you are a great guy, and
an awesome dad and husband. We know that if we have a problem and we need
help that we can ALWAYS turn to you.

"Earl, before all this shit happened, I didn't have any friends. When I
say any I mean none, zero, zilch, nada. When I moved here, I didn't know
anyone. Sure, I was nice to people and they were nice to me in return.
But I was too afraid to have friends. What if they found out I was
attracted to little boys? They would crucify me. So my entire life I kept
to myself and never dated. Nothing. I would go to work, come home, have
my fantasies, and go to sleep. I would hold a pillow against myself at
night, pretending it was someone there with me.

"But you, Earl, are brave. Look at you. Even after all the shit that you
went through, you met Tina and got married, and then had your amazing
little boy. I was a chicken shit, Earl. I didn't have a record but was
still too terrified to take a chance on something I desired and craved so
much in my life: the love of another human being. You have had that all
these years. I have only had it for a short time. That is what makes me
feel sure and confident in myself -- the love of my boys. It's the love
from you and Tina and the Washingtons. From Lupe and Mario and their
girls. Because of all of this love you all give to me, I have found my
strength and confidence to do what I never could do before."

I stop to take a sip of coffee and a bite of the roll. Earl looks at me
and waits for me to continue, yet I don't.

"So what is it you do now?"

I reach my hand out and put it on Earl's shoulder.

"I have learned to love myself. Just like you need to do."

A tear slips from Earl's eye. He looks into my eyes for a good fifteen
seconds while I keep my hand on his shoulder. Earl stands up and my arm
falls to my side. He walks towards the door and pats me on the back as he
goes out, with everyone watching as he does. A moment later they hear him
chopping wood. All the sound that is echoing through their world right
now is the sound of the ax pounding down into the wood. They all look at
me and I smile.

"So Tina, I know Earl is thinking right now about what I told him. I sure
hope he comes around and helps. But we also want you to help the children
to learn to sew. We are thinking that homemade clothes are about the only
way we are going to be able to clothe ourselves for some time, and you
are really great at it. You maybe could help some with cooking lessons,
too. They got the crazy idea that I could teach cooking."

"For one thing, Rick, you are a good cook. You make simple dishes that
taste amazing. You can also make not so simple dishes that taste
wonderful. So I think maybe you should think about that. As for me
teaching sewing, I will do what I can to help make our community better.
I don't know if Earl will come around. He has a lot of pain form his
past, but I will try to help him make the right decision."

"Me too, mommy," Joseph softly adds his support to the cause.

"I just know that he has a lot to give to the world. It would be a shame
if he didn't. But he is my friend and I would never judge him, whatever
he decides. I just hope that he does help," I tell Tina.

"Now come on boys, we need to go talk to Mario and Lupe."

I down the last bit of coffee after I pop the last of the sweet roll into
my mouth.

"You got to teach them to make these," I smile as I get up. The boys and
I pile into the truck, with Joseph staying behind.

On the way Jim asks him, "Daddy, you think Mr Earl is going to do it?"

"I really don't know. But I hope so."

When they pull up the drive to Mario and Lupe's house, out pop Layla,
Maria, and Amy, who smile when they see who it is. They race over to
greet me and the boys.

"Hi guys! We haven't seen you since school let out two weeks ago. How
have you been doing?" Layla asks the younger ones.

Amy hugs me; she seems to taken a shine to me. She looks up at me with
her big brown eyes.

"Hi, Mr Rick. I haven't seen you in forever."

I remember the caramel in my pocket. "I should pay for such a wonderful
hug, I believe," I say as I reach into my pocket.

"Oh no, hugs are free," she insists with a giggle.

"Yes, but this hug was especially sweet, so here is something to keep you
that way," I tell her as I hand her the caramel.

"Oh my goodness!" she squeals with delight.

The others quickly take notice of the candy in her hand.

"Don't worry guys, I got some for everyone!"

I open the truck door, pull out the bag, and hand them a couple pieces
each. I take one for myself, and can't believe how amazing it tastes. My
taste buds are singing to the angels, it's so good.

I walk up to the door and follow the girls in. Again I'm amazed at how
spotless the kitchen is. Mario and Lupe are at the table talking, see
that it's me, and smile instantly.

"Hello, Rick! To what do we owe this pleasure?" Lupe greets me as she
gets up to get me a coffee while I sit down. She sets it in front of me
and takes her seat back.

I explain in detail what all is happening and they listen with rapt
attention.

"So with all of that, we were thinking, Mario, that you could teach
Spanish. It would be an elective-type class, meaning that it would be
actually held after school hours. That way we can focus on the main
learning during the day. We don't know if it would be a class we give
grades in or not, but in the future it would be helpful we think. We want
it to be open to everyone in the community, just like the school, so that
anyone can come and learn. So what do you think?"

He grins and replies, "I love the idea. I love it a lot. I can teach
leather working too, if we can scrounge up some leather."

"Do you think you can make shoes or boots? We really have a need for
those if you know how."

"I never tried before. I think that I can take an old pair apart and
figure it out easy enough. But I think that should be a required class so
that all the children can learn that skill and make new shoes for their
families and others in the community who will need them. Because like you
said, we aren't getting shipments from China anymore."

"Can you make leather if we get you some cow hides?"

"I haven't since I was a boy, but I remember how, yes. My father taught
me. He was a real old school craftsman."

"That is fantastic! I know that the community will like your ideas. The
new shoes and boots will be a real help for a lot of people. I know that
my boys' shoes will be seeing their last days soon. I never thought to
buy any for them before the collapse because I never imagined they were
going to be living with me. I know that there is a definite need for
them, seeing as how most of the children I see in town are walking around
barefoot."

"You know, I can knit and crochet. I can teach the children how to do
that as well. We can have them knit sweaters and things like that for
next winter, to keep all of them warm. Maybe some afghans and things like
that, too," Lupe proposes.

"That is a fabulous plan. When we loot whats left of the stores we will
have to see if we can find yarn and things like that. Rob the Hobby
Lobby," I smile.

"We should ask everyone in the area if they know how to make the yarn.
That would be a great trade to have now," Mario adds.

"Indeed it would. You know, this project and this change in our world
really has me thinking how much we took for granted in our before-lives.
When we wanted something, we'd just go buy it, not thinking twice about
how it's made or how it even got here. Or from where for that matter," I
observe.

"Rick, I really want to be more useful to the community. I am thinking
that if we all got together and made some raised beds, I can grow some
herbs and spices. I know it will be a lot of work for everyone to help
with that project, but I just want to feel useful. As useful as I can in
this chair, anyway," Mario says, slapping the chair in disgust.

"You know, that won't be too hard I don't think. I have a few old
watering troughs that the bottoms are rusted out of. I bet Mike has a
couple too. I think those would work really well. We just have to get
dirt for them. Hell, I'll just have my boys wash up in them after and we
will have them filled in a week!" I chortle.

Mario smiles, "I think that would work really well."

"So I will get with Mike and Earl and see what day we can do it. I don't
know that much about growing herbs and things other than what I grow now,
but I am pretty sure we need to get them started soon. We also got to get
our gardens in this week; we need them for sure.

"I was wondering, do you think I can borrow the girls this week sometime
so they can help plant the school's garden? It is going to be a lot of
work and we need all the help we can get. I know my boys will help, and
Earl and his family will, as well as Mike and Sarah."

"Of course they will help. They love being with you guys and the boys.
That, and they like feeling useful."

"Alright then, that's settled. I will let you know more when I find out
and give you a call on the handheld. But the boys and I better get back
to our house. We need to hoe the garden and start getting it ready to
plant. If your family needs some help, we will be glad to come down and
help out with yours too."

"No, I think we can manage, but we will let you know if we have any
need," Mario says, reaching out his hand to shake mine.

We part ways and head back to the house. The boys scramble out and each
grabs a hoe and so they can get to work on the garden. I use a spade to
extend the garden so we can have extra this year, just in case we need it
for ourselves or someone else. I'm literally going to double the size of
it. As I'm working, I start thinking we need to save more eggs to turn
into chickens for yet more eggs. Before, we had found a happy medium
where we had enough for us and some extra to trade for things we need.

It takes us until sunset to get half done with the tasks we had planned.
It is pushing 7:30 when we get into the house. I am thankful I put on a
pot of beans when we got back because we are all starving. I make some
corn bread while everyone is showering, and cut up some onions for the
beans as well.

When we get done with supper, I take my shower while the boys clean up.
The warm water feels really good on the sore muscles that I haven't
worked since last fall. I feel even better about life and the hope of the
future to come. I am excited that I'm going to be a part of it. We're
going to form a community of love and acceptance; a community that
doesn't look to see what you can get from people but what you can give to
help. After some time, the entire community won't need anything because
it will be self-sufficient. It will be a utopia of sorts, at least as
close as mankind can get.

When I get done with my shower, I put on some clean jeans and a shirt. I
let the boys know I'm going to go talk to Earl about helping set up the
herb garden for Mario. They join me since they want to see Joseph. I
can't blame them; I wouldn't want to sit home and be bored, though the
boys never seem to get bored as they are always playing or doing
something. Once we get there, Jim just races in without knocking.

"Jim, you should knock; that's rude as fuck," I chastise him.

Tina, Earl and Joseph are at the table finishing their supper.

"No, it's alright," Earl says.

"No, it's really not. He needs to be respectful of peoples' homes."

"Well, I suppose you're right. I know I would have chewed Joseph's ass
for the same thing," he says with a shrug.

Jim looks at me like he is about to cry.

"Jim, I didn't mean for it to sound as harsh as it did. But what would
you have done if you barged in while they were having sex?"

"I would start sucking on Earl's big balls!" is his cheeky reply as he
looks at me like I'm stupid. What else indeed would he do but join in?

"Okay, bad example. Just show respect for a person's home and wait to be
invited in next time."

"Alright."

"So you want to stay the night and suck on Earl's big balls? Sounds
like you and he like that."

"Sure."

"Look at me. I just did what I told you not to do. I invited you to their
house. Sorry Earl and Tina," I say contritely.

"Don't be silly; your boys are always welcome in our house, just like
Joseph is in yours. If they want to stay, we are more than happy to have
them. Besides, Jim is right; Earl does have some huge balls and he does
love it when the boys suck on them," Tina says, smiling.

"He shoots gallons, daddy. I mean you shoot a lot, but gosh he shoots and
shoots and shoots," Jim says in awe of Earl's prodigious ejaculations.

"Would it be okay if I stay too?" Eddie asks sheepishly.

"Of course, Eddie," Tina assures him. "Jack, do you want to stay too?"

"I think I just want to be with my daddy tonight. But thank you."

I don't tell them about Jack's breakdown today at the school because I
don't think it's my place to do that.

"Hey Rick, we are almost out of weed. Mind if I walk back with you and
get some more?" Earl asks.

"Of course not. You know what's mine is yours so long as my boys have
what they need."

"I know, it's just polite to ask."

So Earl, Jack, and I leave and drive down with Earl because he doesn't
feel comfortable walking through the woods at night like I do. He never
turns on his lights, which we have all gotten used to doing just maybe
out of paranoia. Once you get used to something, you kind of stick with
it.

As we are driving I ask Earl, "So I know you are working on your garden
tomorrow like we all are. But do you think you can find a few hours to
help set up some raised beds for Mario? He wants to start an herb garden
and I got a few old water troughs that would work out really well. I know
Mike has some too. I think you and I can handle it on our own, but we can
have Mike help if you want."

"No, I think we can handle it. I know he is busy getting their garden in.
We need to do it pretty quickly because I need to get down to Mike's and
help him plant that field of corn so we will have chicken feed this
fall."

"Yeah, I should help with that as well. I need to ask him if we can have
the old troughs he has in his barn. I think that Mario wants to grow
enough spices for all of us and the entire community too. I don't feel
sorry for him at all, but I do feel bad for him. He wants to do so much
and is limited in what he can do. I know it really frustrates him."

"Wouldn't it bother you?"

"Of course it would. That's why I feel for him. I couldn't imagine having
so much knowledge and the desire to do something and not be able to," I
respond.

We pull up, then Jack hops out of the car and returns with a big sack of
weed.

"You know, you should sell this to Mark so he can sell it at his store."

"Hmm, I hadn't thought about that. I guess I'm still in the old way of
life where it's illegal here."

"It ain't no more," Earl says, laughing.

I get out and Jack takes my hand in his. We walk in hand in hand up to
the house. Once we get inside, we go to the bedroom and strip to our
naked selves. I head to the living room and plop down in my chair with a
sigh. I'm kind of mentally tired from thinking and planning all day. I
know this is not going to be an easy task. It is going to take a lot of
effort and teamwork; the entire community is going to have to help, or at
least those who can. I will have to figure out how those who can't
physically work can help in other ways. It's a truly massive project, I
think.

I have such high hopes for it. If only half of my ideas come to fruition,
it will be an amazing thing to happen. I want the main focus of the
community to be on treating those who do well academically like heroes,
not like the fixation on sports excellence of the past. I want teachers
to be held in high esteem and to be thought of as heroes in our community
as well. I just have to figure out how to do that.

A moment later, Jack appears on my lap facing me, his legs off the sides.
He gives me a hug and holds himself against me for a good while, at least
five minutes, maybe more. I gently rub my fingers up and down his back.
We sit in silence, just enjoying the love we feel for each other.

"Daddy?"

"Yes."

"I been thinking today about my mommy."

"I'm sure you have. How are you feeling about it?"

"I miss her of course. I miss her a lot."

"I'm sure you do. She was a good mom to you."

"Yeah she was." He sits in silence for another few minutes, just thinking
and enjoying me running my fingers up and down his back.

"You want to watch a movie or play a game or some Legos or something?"

"No. I just want to sit here with you."

"That's fine with me. I want you to be happy."

Jack is silent a while longer, another five minutes or so.

"Daddy?"

"Yes?"

"I loved my mommy a lot. More than anyone in the whole world, you know?"

"I'm sure you did. That's how it's supposed to be."

"Yeah, but daddy I, love you different."

"It's because I'm your daddy; of course it's different."

Jack pulls back and looks me in the eyes.

"No, it's not that daddy. It's just like when I was littler and I would
think about becoming a big person, I always thought about when I got big
and grown up and stuff that I would move and get a house and stuff. You
know, I would still love her and stuff. Go visit all the time. You know
like sons are supposed to do."

"That makes sense; that's the way the world works. At least how it used
to anyway."

"Yeah, I know. But when I think of you, daddy, I don't ever want to
leave. I mean, I know that Jim and Eddie are going to, and that's what
they want to do. But I don't ever want to leave here. I always want to be
with you."

"Do you think it's because you feel safe with me? That in a way I
rescued you boys and gave you food, warmth and comfort when you needed it
most?"

"Maybe at first, I think. But not now. Now, I just want to be with you
all the time and I am always thinking about you. When we aren't together
I'm sad and lonely and can't wait to be with you again. When we have fun
in the bedroom, it's fun, yeah, and it's fun with the other boys and Mr
Mike and Mr Earl too. But with you, it's different. It's just better
for some reason."

"I think I understand what you're saying, Jack. I think that you love
everyone else, but that you are in love with me, just like I am in love
with you."

He furrows his brow at this.

"I don't understand."

"That doesn't surprise me because love is really tricky. I don't
understand it either. But I will try to explain so maybe we both can
understand a little better.

"See, we know we love everyone in our little extended family. But you
and I are in love with each other. It's how married couples feel about
each other. That although they love other people, the person they are in
love with is just more important them. Don't get me wrong, I would kill
or be killed for any of the people in our little family. I would never
deny your brothers anything if I had it. I would go hungry to make sure
that they ate. But for you, I would do anything for you. We have a
special bond, we two. It's like our souls are meant to be together. As
if it was destined by the creator to be so. That a billion trillion years
ago when they were setting up the universe, it was planned that we are to
be together. Before all this shit happened, a man like me would say you
are my boy. That means that you have a special place in my heart that no
one can ever replace. I would be your man in the same sense. Does that
help some?"

"I think so. So it means that even though I love everyone, that I just
love you a little bit more?"

"Yeah, I think that's about right."

"Daddy, are we going to get married?"

"I don't know. But one thing I do know is that no matter how long we
live, I will always love you with all my heart. I know that love will
never fade or go away."

Jack thinks about it and lays his head back on my chest.

"Daddy?"

"Yes, sweet heart?"

"Don't you love me enough to marry me?"

"Of course I do. But you are still young yet, and sometimes things change
in your heart as you grow older. Maybe one day you will find someone else
who's closer to your age that you want to love and marry. I'm not saying
you won't still love me, because I know you will always love me. But I
don't want to hold you back from anything that will make your life
happy."

"I don't think I will. But I understand what you are saying, I think. I
think what you are saying is that no matter how much you love me, you
would let me go and be with someone else if they would make me happier?"

"That's exactly right. You put it better than I did. You are such a smart
boy."

"How about when I turn thirteen, if I still love you like this, then we
get married?"

"I think that's a fine idea. But I think we should wait until you are
sixteen, just to make sure."

"Okay, daddy. But I know I won't find anyone who makes me as happy as
you."

"You can't be positive of that."

"I am."

We sit in silence, thinking of our love for each other and how we both
hope that we will love each other forever as we do now, and that our love
continues to grow as the days and the years pass.

"Daddy?"

"Yes?"

"We don't do sex stuff, do we? I mean, like with the other boys and
grownups."

"No, we don't. We make love to each other."

"Daddy?"

"Yes, son?"

"Can you make love to me now?"

I don't say a word while I carry him back into the bedroom. I make love
to Jack like he has never had before. I makes sure that Jack is in total
ecstasy the entire time, and Jack does the same for me. When we are done,
we cuddle up in each other's arms and fall asleep in the glow of the
love they feel for each other.

Thats it.  The fat lady is singing.  I obviously have ideas of where it
can go.  But when I get five emails on the last chapter it tells me
interest is gone.  But thats OK.  I dont have any plans for any further
writing.  I hope you like what I have done.

Eric

ericmurphey1971@gmail.com