WARNING: This story is about an affair between a boy and a man. Do not read the contents if it will offend you. If accessing this story causes you to break local laws (village, town, city, county, province, state, or country, etc.), please leave now.

 

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The well-dressed boy.

 

By John T. S. Teller.

 

Part 8.

 

Tears were rolling down my cheeks as I read the Email

 

Dear Frank.

 

I'm sorry that I didn't phone you back. I've been thinking all day what I should say to you in this email. I started it not long after we talked on the phone and still I haven't finished it. Anyway, I've sort of messed with it and am telling you now what I've been doing and thinking all day. I thought about deleting the part I did earlier but I've decided to keep it. This is what I wrote just after we phoned. Ps. It's taken me ages to spell check it. Sorry.

 

Dear Frank.

 

I'm sorry for not phoning you back. I'm so mixed up that I don't know where I am. Although I don't want him round me anymore I know that mum and Wendy are going to be in trouble. Mums already said we would lose the house if he went to jail. Although I don't want him round me I've got all my mates where we live. I don't want to live anywhere else. I suppose I'm going to have to get used to it. But I don't know if I'll be able to. I want to come and live with you but I know I can't do that. Nobody would let me do that. But I want to see you as much as I can. I hope Harry can do that for us. That's if you want me to come and see you. I'm not even sure about that. If you see all the horrible stuff that's going on here you might not want to be involved anymore. I wouldn't blame you. It's a proper mess. Nana can't stop crying. And mum. Harrys told me that you're going to sort mum out with a job and a rented house. That's fantastic so thank you. Can you make it so we don't have to move away from Fordingbridge? I don't want to leave here. I've always lived here. We lived here before my proper dad died. I wish he was here now. Everything would be ok then. Its only since he came into our lives that everything has gone wrong. We were alright before even though we didn't live in a big house. We lived not far away. On that street on your left when you had to turn right to get to where we live now. Most of my mates live over there.

 

Grandad said he doesn't mind me being gay. I love grandad. He's sort of my real dad now.

 

What about you Frank? I know all about you. Harry told me all about you. It was thinking about you that helped me not to run away from him. I was ready to go after he called me those dirty names. I'm not filthy. I can't help being queer. I've always known I was different. When Harry told me about you and him I was so happy that I wasn't filthy. He told me things that made me realize that I was just like he was. Harrys not filthy. He's smashing and I think he's now my best friend. We can talk about things without me feeling dirty. When we were getting ready for the wedding we had a smashing time making sure I looked nice for you. I still didn't think you'd like me but Harry said you wouldn't be able to resist me when you saw me in my white suit. What we've done since had told me that you really did like me. Harry said you would.

 

Frank, I want to tell you how I think about you. I hope I don't hurt you. I never want to do that. Some people would think I'm crazy because I like you. I know I'm only thirteen but I know what I want. I've been thinking about it for ages. I like Harry a lot as well. He's been really special to me. I think he might have got fed up with all the questions I keep asking him. When he told me about you and him I was baffled. I'm not sure how old I was when I realized I liked men. But it doesn't matter. I do. I think it might be something to do with my dad. I think part of me wants another dad. But my dad never touched me like the way I want to do with you. I don't think about him that way. But I think about you that way. Part of me wants you to be my dad and another part of me wants you to be my gay person that I love. I loved it when we did things together but I felt sort of not satisfied. I wanted to do things with you. I hope we can do that when we see each other again. I know this might sound daft but Harry calls you his OLD MAN. He doesn't mean that you're an old man. He means it in a sort of loving way. He still loves you. Do you know that? But the best part is knowing that Harry was like me and that you loved him when he was and that's what I keep thinking that I can be another Harry for you. I'd really like it if I could. I want to be your new Harry. That's what Harry said that I could be your new Harry. I'd love to be that for you and you could be everything I want. Wouldn't that be great if we could do that. I'd really try my best to be as good as him. I know I probably never can but I would try really hard.

 

Hello Frank.

 

That's what I wrote earlier. I hope you're not mad at me for writing all that stuff. Harry is in the other room talking to you now. I wish it was me talking to you but Harry said I should get on with this email because you would want it. I hope its ok. Harry says he's going to bring me up to your place soon in Canterbury. I can't wait. I really want to see you again.

 

Harry has just brought me some hot chocolate and an after eight. He said you told him to give me one. Hah hah. I mean an after eight and not THAT. But I wish it was THAT. I wish you were here now and we could do stuff together. I've never felt so nice as when you did it to me. I felt as if it was all my dreams come true. Its making me shiver thinking about it. I really love you Frank. I really do and I want to show you that I do. I can't wait to be with you again. I hope you feel the same. I love you loads and loads and loads. Lots of love from Joel and lots of kisses. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Ps Grandad say that even when he comes out of jail he's not letting me go to live with him again. He says I can rely on him. I know it might mean leaving mum but I don't want to live with him again. Grandad says I can go and live with him and nana if mum goes back to him. I know he won't be able to do anything about it because he's frightened of grandad when he gets his hair off. Grandad is the real boss of all our family. He was a paratrooper in the army you know. I know it's a long time ago but he can still make everybody crap themselves when he gets angry. LOL. I love it when he puts his arms round me and hugs me. Sometimes he's really rough with me and smacks my bottom and tells me that he'll still do it when I'm twenty one if I don't behave myself. LOL. I love grandad.

 

Lots of love from Joel. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXxxx

 

**********

 

Although my cheeks were wet with tears, I was also smiling when I'd read the email. It had been only ten minutes since the Email arrived, so, although it was late, I made a spontaneous decision and phoned Harry's place. When he picked up the phone, I said, "Hey up Trouble. Is it just you and Joel still there?"

 

I could tell there was amusement in Harry's voice when he replied, "Yes. Rosemarie has just called to say she's starting out. She'll be here in ten minutes. Who is it you want?"

 

"Can I speak to Joel?"

 

I heard Harry say `It's for you. It's Frank. He wants to speak to you'. Then Joel came on the phone and said in a voice that was filled with trepidation, "Hello Frank."

 

"Hello Joel. I decided to phone you and tell you that I loved your Email. Thank you for that. It's put my mind at ease knowing your grandfather is taking care of you. I like Bill, and I know you'll be safe with him. But don't jump to any conclusions yet about what's going to happen to you. All I can tell you is that from now on, you've got your grandfather, me, and Harry pulling for you. Things can only get better. Do you understand?"

 

"Yes Frank. I'm glad you've phoned. I was a bit worried about what I wrote. Are you sure you're alright with it?"

 

"Positive! It's what I wanted you to tell me. I need to know how you're feeling and thinking about things so I can do what's best for you. Don't worry, everything will work itself out, and in another year you'll be absolutely fine. I know that sounds a long time, but it isn't really for someone as young as you."

 

"Why a year, Frank?"

 

"Because by then everything should be sorted and we'll all know where we stand. If it's what your mum wants, then I'll make sure you stay near your pals by getting a new home in Fordingbridge for you. And even if you go to live with your grandparents, you'll still be near enough to keep the same pals, won't you?"

 

"Yes. I can bike over there any time. Thank you Frank. Do you want to speak to Harry again now?"

 

"Yes please. Give him the phone, and hey, I love you."

 

Joel's voice went really quiet, and he said in a whisper, and bashfully, "I love you."

 

Harry was chucking when he came on the phone. "Are you going to tell me the same?"

 

I laughed. "Shut it! You'll embarrass the lad. Just keep me informed and look after him. And take care of yourself."

 

"Will do Frank. I love you."

 

I chuckled. "I love you too, now sod off and get him into bed." Then I thought what I'd said, and added, "I meant to sleep!"

 

Harry laughed. "See you soon."

 

**********

 

I sat up in bed with Joel's photo in my lap, and a printed copy of his Email. I'd re-read it lots of time, digesting the entire situation. This was no Harry and Me. Harry had been about two years more forward mentally than Joel was, if not more. Compared to Harry, Joel was a baby. He was emotionally unstable, and his home life was in tatters. Harry's whole surroundings were stable and loving. That's why he was able to make an informed judgment on what he wanted. Despite being under the age of consent, Harry was mentally of an age of consent, and because of the differences between the two boys, I knew that I had to act differently towards Joel than I had with Harry. One wrong move on my part could lead to him being even further emotionally disturbed.

 

Bill, Joel's grandfather, was his rock. I had a job to do, but it would not be as his mentor. I was to be his family support. I was in a position to help, but I decided that any help would have to be vetted by Bill. From now on, everything would go through Bill. Everything! Even Joel's visits to me or my visits to him would have to be vetted by Bill. My biggest problem was that Joel and I had already had sex. I wanted more, and so did Joel. We had tasted the shared fruits of passion, and it had been wonderful. Having more of it in itself would not be detrimental to Joel, of that I was sure, but scheming and manipulating others to achieve it, especially his grandfather, would be wrong. I had to work out a way where Bill thought Joel seeing me was genuinely in Joel's best interest. But that would mean that Bill would have to have at least an inkling of what Joel and I wanted from each other, and at the moment, I couldn't see Bill doing that. And just like Joel, I found myself in the middle of a situation that could only be worked out by time and unfolding events.

 

********** ********** ********** **********

 

Had I known then what would unfold, I might have gone and scooped Joel into my arms and ran away with him. Bill was clever and ruthless, and he'd already worked out what was going on between me and Joel. That's why I didn't see Joel again for six months. The only contact we had was via Email and the occasional phone call from Harry's house. Despite me giving Denise a job which included a rented place in Fordingbridge, he kept me at a safe distance from his grandson. Even Harry was put firmly in his place whenever he suggested Joel accompany him when he visited me. I suppose Bill had worked out the Harry and Me thing, coupled it with my coming out that I was gay at the wedding, then added Joel's admission that he was gay, thrown in the disproportionate efforts from a relative stranger to care for Joel and his family, and arrived at the right answer that Joel and I wanted to be together to have sex.

 

Being possessive comes in many forms, and what had actually happened was that Joel had swapped one jailor for another. But I couldn't really fault Bill for his actions. He was preventing an affair between a thirteen-year-old and a forty-three-year-old. What responsible parent or grandparent wouldn't have done that? So he was right... but he was also wrong. Like many others before him, he'd made one vital miscalculation: I really loved Joel, and the only difference between Bill and I was that in between the caring I would give to Joel, would be a loving, sexual relationship. To Bill, even though he wasn't a bigot, he could never understand that intergenerational sex can be mutual and loving and non-harmful if it's what the younger partner truly desires.

 

But things were to unfold that more than engulfed those petty matters: things that could break the heart and soul of an immature boy and leave him a battered wreck on the rocks of emotional confusion... so badly damaged that even I might not be able to salvage what was left of him.   

 

To be continued...

 

You can find my other stories on Nifty here. If you wish to comment on this or any of my other stories, just drop me a line to john.thestoryteller@gmail.com Genuine comments will be appreciated. All flames will be extinguished in the trash bin.