VOLUNTEER

by Boisterous (Boys-stir-us)


     Tony gazed across the room at a young boy in a wheelchair as
he set up the checkerboard for another game with Edward, a 16
year old boy with Downs Syndrome.  Edward chatted away on his
somewhat indistinct voice, going on and on about the produce
display at the supermarket.    Tony, a 35 year old weekend
volunteer at the Brookdale Institute, tried to listen with the
same level of enthusiasm that Edward put into his soliloquy.  He
tried to imagine what it would be like to have visited a grocery
store for the first time at age 16.  Still, he had heard the
story five times during the afternoon.  Tony looked again at the
boy in the wheel chair.  He had wheeled himself to a window and
stared wistfully through the steel bars.
     Edward understood the rules of checkers but Tony had been
unsuccessful at teaching him strategy.  "You go first," Tony
suggested.
     A news report about the recent progress of the Apollo
mission came on the television and Edward exclaimed, "I"m going
to be a aster-nut."
     Tony smiled slightly, not worried about correcting Edward on
the pronunciation.  Since the boy rarely got off the 4C wing at
the Institute, he would not be subject to scorn and ridicule as
he would be in the general public.  Tony volunteered to work with
the mentally retarded after his older brother, who also had Downs
Syndrome, had died.  Tony didn't even think the Institute was
such a bad place for kids like Edward.  It offered a shelter from
a cruel world.
     But Tony was troubled by the 11 year old in the wheel chair.
The kid seemed normal in every way except for the fact he could
not walk.  Tony knew that there were some schools that accepted
students in wheel chairs, but for the most part, there was no way
for the kids to get up the steps and into the buildings.
     The most troubling thing for Tony was his level of
attraction to the boy. It wasn't a mere sexual attraction, but
sexual attraction was definitely part of it.  Tony had known
since he was a teenager that he found boys sexually attractive.
He had also learned at an early age that people like him were
called perverts. Until this kid, he had never allowed himself to
get close enough to a boy to get himself into trouble.  But this
kid haunted his thoughts all week long.  He found himself looking
forward to his Saturdays at the Institute so he could have
another look at the beautiful child.
     "I'm going to be a soldier," Edward said, interrupting his
reverie.  The evening news had started, and as always, the
Vietnam conflict held center stage.  Tony had managed to let
Edward have a huge advantage in the checker game.  Tony glanced
at his watch.  He would be leaving in fifteen minutes when the
residents would be called for dinner.
     "I'm glad I don't have to shoot anyone," Tony said.  He had
to talk to the boy and time was running out. As Edward jumped his
last piece, Tony stood and said, "Good game.  Excuse me for a
moment."
     He went over to where the boy sat in his oversized chair.
"Think we'll get some rain tonight?"
     Startled, the boy looked up, his eyes wide.  He looked away
without answering.  A second later, his gaze darted back to Tony.
He'd watched the boy talk to the nurses and attendants often
enough to know he was very capable of expressing himself.  Tony
squatted down, bringing his face closer to the boy's eye level.
     Instead of calming the kid, it seemed to agitate him even
more.  His hand rubbed nervously across the black rubber on his
wheel. The kid had straight, jet black hair, green eyes, and pale
skin from never getting outdoors. His eyebrows were curved and
dark, though thin.  His eyelashes were long and curled and seemed
impossibly dark.  He had a tattered copy of Robinson Crusoe
across his lap.
     "I'm sorry I guess I didn't introduce myself. Do you know
who I am?"
     The boy didn't look at him or appear that he was going to
answer, so Tony sighed and got to his feet.
     "You're name is Tony," the boy said in desperation.  He
didn't make eye contact.
     "That's right," he said in his warmest voice.
     The kid surprised him by adding, "It's nice of you to let
Edward win at checkers."
     "I had a brother that was a lot like him. What's your name?"
     "Chad."
     "How old are you Chad?"
     "I'm 11." The kid's fawn-like eyes darted upward briefly.
"Is your brother dead?" Chad asked.
     "Yes." Tony didn't try to hide the shadow of grief that
crossed his face.
     "Oh. Sorry."
     Again there was a silence.  Tony felt kind of foolish,
knowing he had no reason to be talking with the kid.  He was
afraid anyone watching would know his secret, that in his heart
he was a pervert.  It made it difficult for him to think of
anything to say.
     "Well, Chad, it was nice to meet you," he said, sidling
away.
     The boy spoke with urgency.  "Will you talk to me again next
week?"
     "What?"
     "Well, you always keep looking at me when you come here.
And I was afraid that you were laughing at me.  You know,
laughing at the cripple.  I never thought you'd be nice to me
like you are to Edward.  But you are nice....even to a cripple."
     "I don't think of you like that, Chad."
     As if he hadn't heard Tony, the boy continued, "Not many
people bother to be nice to retards and cripples."
     "No, I mean that I don't see you as a cripple.  I see you as
a handsome, intelligent boy.  Someone I'd like to be friends
with."
     The lead attendant, an angry-looking man in his mid-50's
called out, "Time for dinner.  Line up at the door."
     The kid blanched.  Clearly the attendant inspired the fear
of all the residents. "I've got to go," Tony said.  "I'll see you
next weekend."
     The boy's face lit up in a smile.  "Thanks." It was the
first time Tony had seen him look anything but dejected.
     On the way out of the Institute, Tony stopped at the front
desk.  "I'd like to volunteer to be a companion to the boy named
Chad on 4C."
     A woman with a funny little white hat chewed her gum with
parted lips. "Mr. Fletcher, aren't you already working with
someone on that wing?"
     "Yes, a teenager named Edward."
     "Why do you want to discontinue with Edward? Did he say or
do something inappropriate?"
     "No.  I want to keep working with him, too."
     "Sorry, but you are only allowed to work with one resident."
     "I can volunteer on different days."
     "Mr. Fletcher, I just explained the rule to you.  Do you
need for me to repeat it?"
     He wanted to grab her throat.  Instead, he just smiled.  "I
get the sense that is how you talk to the residents.  First off,
I am NOT a resident.  Secondly, the residents deserve to be
treated with more respect than you just treated me." He turned
and left before she could reply.
     During the week he followed up with the Volunteer
Coordinator, the attending psychiatrist, and the facilities
manager.  The psychiatrist's secretary said, "You'll never get
them to change their rules, Mr. Fletcher.  It doesn't matter that
there is no good reason for the rule.  Anyway, I'm shouldn't tell
you this--client confidentiality, you know--but that boy you want
to work with, Chad, is being returned to his father's custody by
social services."
     "Oh," he said, stalling to recover from the disappointment.
"You are so kind to tell me.  Thanks."
     "You won't tell anyone I said so, will you?"
     "No, of course not.  You did me a favor.  Thanks again."

     When Tony came to the Institute the next Saturday, he
quickly scanned the room for a wheelchair. None.  He was
heartbroken. As he played a vertical tic-tac-toe game called
Connect Four with Edward, he chided himself for being selfish.
Surely the kid would be better off at home than in the Institute.
     Edward said, "I miss Chad."
     "Yes, I noticed he is gone.  What happened to him?"
     "He went to live with his daddy."  Edward leaned close.
"His daddy drinks."
     "Did Chad tell you that?"
     "He said he's scared that his daddy won't take care of him.
He didn't want to go."
     "I wonder where he lives."
     "Did you see the Flintstones this morning?"
     Tony tried not to tune his 16 year old companion out, but
his concern for Chad distracted him.  The secretary had broken
the rules and told him social services was returning him to his
dad. He decided to talk to her again.
     On Monday morning he called the secretary again.  "Hi, this
is Tony Fletcher.  I was wondering if you could give me the
address of that little guy in the wheelchair.  Chad was his
name."
     "I'm sorry, Mr. Fletcher, but I'm not allowed to give out
information like that."
     "I understand.  It's just that I promised I'd see him again,
that I'd be his friend.  I just wanted to send a letter to tell
him goodbye."
     "I'm sorry.  I'd like to help, but I could lose my job."
     "If I sent the letter to you, could you forward it to him?"
     "Well...that's highly irregular, but I guess..." There was a
long pause.  "Oh, what the heck, he lives at 7793 Oak Street
N.W., Apartment 201."
     "Thank you very much."  He hung up, then phoned a florist
and had a bouquet of daisies sent to the secretary with an
unsigned card.
     He managed to wait until Saturday after volunteering at the
Institute before he went to the address.  He parked at the curb
and looked at the dilapidated brownstone.  From the age and poor
repair of the building, he was certain there would not be an
elevator, and essential item for a kid in a wheelchair.  The
front door to the building had six panes of glass.  Masking tape
held two of the cracked panes in place.  The others were smudged.
He stepped into the foyer, and immediately smelled stale cooking
grease and the faint odor of urine.  The worn steps creaked under
his feet.  The brownish carpet on the second floor had once been
orange. Tony knocked on the door of 201.  He waited for a minute,
then knocked harder.
     A door across the hall from 201 opened and an old man poked
his head into the hall.  "You a social worker?"
     "No."
     "A cop?"
     "No, just a friend."
     "Old Luke ain't got no friends."
     "No, I meant I'm a friend of Chad's."
     "Well, the little cripple won't answer the door."
     "Why not?"
     The old man laughed, and Tony realized his sanity was shaky.
"His wheels is in the cellar."
     "What?" Tony took a step closer to the old man, but he
started to duck back inside.  "No wait.  Please don't go. I need
to see him."
     "Manager.  Apartment 1A."
     The manager, a 350 pound man obviously wearing the same t-
shirt he had worn several days in a row, grumbled as he lumbered
up the stairs.  He jingled a huge ring of keys, fit the right
one, then stepped back.
     "That'll be 5 bucks."
     "What?"
     "That's the price for lock-outs.  You'll remember your key
next time, won't you?"
     Tony got out the money, not willing to argue with the guy.
Somehow he had decided that Tony lived there?  As Tony handed him
the cash, he knew that it would be spent to further contribute to
the stench of bourbon on the man's breath.
     He opened the door and stepped inside. The shades were all
drawn, and the place smelled of stale cigars.  In a corner, Chad
sat with his legs out in front of him, his back against the wall.
"Hi," the boy said sullenly, his arms crossed over his chest.
     "Chad.  Oh, my God," he said, not able to keep his shock and
indignation from showing.  He took a couple steps closer to the
boy. He hid a tattered novel. From the glimpse of the cover, he
saw it was pornographic.  "Chad, that's not good reading material
for a boy your age."
     He didn't look up at Tony.  "These are the only kind of book
my dad owns.  You won't tell social services will you?"
     "They might be able to help you."
     "No!  They can't find a place for me.  The Institute wasn't
the worst place they put me. No one wants a cripple.  Promise not
to tell them.  Please."
     Tony felt like crying. "I promise, Chad."  He squatted down
in front of the boy.  Chad's hair was matted and his face greasy.
He wore a faded t-shirt that once had said Sunkist across the
front.  His legs were bare. From the smell, he could tell the boy
had wet his pants.  Beneath the oversized shirt all he wore were
saturated white briefs. "What can I do?"
     "What do you mean?"
     "Well, it looks like you could use some assistance.  Can I
carry you to the bathroom?"
     Chad stared straight ahead and spoke without affect. "Oh,
you don't want to touch me.  I wet my pants."
     "That's okay.  It's probably pretty hard for you to get to
the bathroom."
     "I can get there, but the door sticks and I can't get it
open.  Would you open it for me?"
     "How long have you been alone?"
     "A couple days.  Dad went to some illegal casino in
Wisconsin."
     "You need a bath."
     "I know.  Sorry.  Even if I could get into the bathroom, I
can't quite do a bath by myself."
     Tony went down the hall and pulled on a door that he assumed
was the bathroom.  It stuck.  He grasped the knob with both hands
and managed to get it free.  There was a stool and a sink along
one wall.  A giant claw foot tub stood alone along the other
wall. He hurried back to Chad.
     The boy had begun to crawl toward the bathroom, his legs
splayed out uselessly behind him.  Tony knelt down. "Let me carry
you."
     Chad swiveled onto his butt, raising one arm to hook it
around Tony's shoulder.
     Tony effortlessly lifted the boy.  He must have only weighed
60 or 70 pounds. "When was the last time you ate anything?"
     "I don't know.  Yesterday.  Maybe the day before."
     "Which was it--Thursday or Friday?"
     "W-Wednesday, I guess."
     He turned and left the bathroom.
     "Where are we going?"
     "To the kitchen to get you some food.  Food first, then a
bath."
     "Um.  There isn't any food."
     "We'll see about that."  He set the boy on a rickety
aluminum chair with green vinyl padding and went to the
cupboards. There were several cans of food in the cupboards.  Of
course, all were too high for Chad to reach.
     He held up two cans.  "Corned beef hash or Dinty Moore Beef
Stew?"
     He noted the eagerness in the kid's expression.  "Stew."
Chad chewed on this fingernail, then remembered his manners and
added, "Please."
     "Coming right up."  It took him several minutes to find a
can opener, wash a pan, find a bowl and spoon, and heat the stew.
     Chad ate slowly while Tony watched.  It was hard to believe
the urchin before him was the same beautiful child he had seen at
the Institute.  "I'll draw your bath water while you eat."
     Tony set the plug and started the water running in the
crusty tub.  He looked around for a towel.  Several threadbare,
musty towels were heaped beneath the sink.  He went exploring.  A
towel that was less filthy hung from the frame of his father's
unmade bed.  He discovered it was only a one bedroom apartment.
There was no evidence of the boy sleeping in his father's twin
sized bed.  He went back to the living room and saw a blanket and
pillow in the corner.
     "Do you have any clean clothes?"
     "No."
     "Well, where are your dirty clothes?"
     "There's a pair of jeans behind the couch.  It's hard for me
to get them on without help."
     "That's it?  No other clothes?"
     "Dad sold them so he could buy whiskey.  I can't go anywhere
anyway."
     "Where is your wheel chair?"
     "I think it is in the cellar--unless Dad sold it, too."
     "Jesus." He scooped the boy into his arms, breathing through
his mouth to avoid the smells coming from his frail 11 year old
body.  The tub had gotten quite full and the mirror was steamy.
He set Chad on the stool and shut the water off.  Chad grabbed
the sink to keep his balance. Tony grabbed the boy's dirty t-
shirt and removed it.
     "Can you raise your hips up?"
     "I can try."
     "Grab my neck," he said as he grabbed the waistband in both
hands.  The kid pulled his butt off the toilet seat and Tony
quickly stripped them off his hips.  The large pink scars on both
hips and upper thighs drew Tony's immediate attention.  Then he
saw the 11 year old boy's slack genitals.  He stared, noting the
bluish glans, the brown scar on the shaft where the foreskin had
been removed, the pinkish little scrotum with marble sized balls
dangling low.  Above the genitals was a hairless mound where
pubic hair would someday grow.
     Chad stared at the wall with a stony expression, humiliated
at having his crippled body offered for the inspection of a man
he admired.  He was terrified Tony would show some sign of being
disgusted by the sight of him.
     Tony, feeling his cock begin to strain even more against the
front of his jeans, became embarrassed, too.  "In you go," he
said, lifting Chad easily, then settling him into the warm bath.
Chad clung to his neck, apparently afraid of being dunked under.
     Tony stood and looked down at the enticing beauty in the
tub.  "I guess you'll be wanting some privacy."
     Chad almost worked up enough courage to ask him to stay, but
then, he figured that Tony wanted to get away from the sight of
his ugly body.  He covered his pelvis with both hands and averted
his eyes. When Tony realized the boy was not going to answer, he
awkwardly dismissed himself, pausing to close the door behind
him.
     Through the closed door he said, "When you want to get out,
just holler for me."
     Tony spent the next 15 minutes cleaning up in the kitchen.
Without detergent or Comet cleanser, there wasn't much he could
do.  He went to the bathroom door and lightly knocked.
"Everything okay in there?" he asked.
     "I'm ready to get out, please."
     Using the most clean towel he could find, he lifted the
dripping boy and wrapped him.  He carried Chad to the living room
and set him on the couch.  "Um...do you want me to dry you off?"
     "I can do it," Chad said, then struggled to pull the towel
from beneath his buttocks.
     "I'd like to help.  If it's okay, that is."
     "Sure. If you don't mind."
     Tony wasn't proud that he begged for the chance to rub the
boy's naked body.  He wasn't proud that he intended to have a
chance to furtively fondle the boy's beautiful genitals. His hard
cock drove his actions.
     He started by rubbing the boy's hair, which was still not
very clean because there was no shampoo.  He could smell
Safeguard soap on the kid's hair.  He gently and lovingly rubbed
Chad's neck and chest.  When he got to the stomach, he changed
his tack and dried his feet.  As he worked up the boy's very
slender, almost withered legs, he gazed at the purplish nub of
flesh.  It seemed a little longer than when he had first fished
the boy from the tub.  He hoped it was.
     Chad lay his head back and watched the man's hands with a
contented expression.  As the towel moved closer to his crotch,
Chad felt his thingy get bigger.  The combination of pleasure and
fear led him to blurt out, "Thanks.  I can dry myself, if you
want."
     Tony noted the hint, but ignored it.  He had every intention
of touching the boy everywhere.  He might never get another
chance.  Chad uttered a single "Oh" as the towel brushed across
his balls and up to his stomach.  Then the towel was back at this
crotch, creating the most delicious sensations.  He was getting
sort of freaked out by how good it felt and embarrassed that his
thingy was completely stiff.  Then a sudden thought struck him--
this might be the last time in his entire life that someone
touched his body like this. He doubted that crippled teens and
men had much of a sex life. He vowed to enjoy it to the fullest.
     Tony lifted one of the boy's legs, sort of turning him on
his side.  This exposed the boy's delicate cleft.  He brought the
towel up the cleft slowly and gently.  As he did this, he
intentionally let his hand slide up the thigh he was lifting
until the back of his hand touched the now-tight scrotum.
     In a moment of abandon, Chad moaned his appreciation.
     Tony rubbed in the cleft again.  "Does this feel good?" he
asked hopefully.
     "Wow. Does it ever."
     Feeling bold, Tony released the boy's leg and grasped the
thin, 2-1/4 inch erection between thumb and forefinger.  "We've
got to get this beautiful cock dry, too, don't we?"
     He lightly rubbed the towel on the boy's balls.
     Chad couldn't believe what was happening.  This adult had
used one of the naughty words from his dad's porno novels--and he
was talking about Chad's body.  Even more incredible, this
handsome grown man was touching him in a most exciting way--right
on his thingy.  When the towel touched his glans, Chad tensed
every  muscle in his body.  He cried out upon sudden, unexpected
release, and, though he had rubbed himself to orgasms before,
none had felt remotely as powerful as this one.
     As his contractions subsided, Chad heard something he
couldn't quite believe.  Tony whispered, "You are so beautiful."
Then the man's fingers grasped his thingy. Chad cringed from the
overstimulation following his dry orgasm.
     Tony, not knowing how sensitive a pre-adolescent's penis can
be after orgasm, thought Chad was experiencing post-orgasmic
remorse. "Sorry," he muttered.  "I just got...carried away.  It
won't happen again, Chad."  He stepped back, and feeling
sheepish, said, "I'll go look for some clean clothes for you."
     Of course, there were no clean clothes.  Tony grabbed a pair
of underwear that had the least amount of stains and a wrinkled t-
shirt that didn't smell too musty. He came back into the living
room.  The boy looked sullen and his brow was wrinkled.
     Tony's guilt flooded over him.  "Oh, Chad, I didn't mean to
upset you or hurt you.  Can you forgive me?"
     Chad felt confused.  He didn't know why Tony kept
apologizing. And the man had said it would never happen again,
which was Chad's greatest fear.  He didn't know what to say, but
he struggled to come up with something, knowing he had to calm
Tony down a little.  "You said I was beautiful?"
     Tony sensed the hope in the boy's voice. Then he realized
Chad had made no effort to hide his nakedness. Tony stopped and
made a deliberate and overt study of the naked boy.  He stared
for several seconds at the boy's flaccid cock.  His small testes
dangled so low they nearly touched the couch.  "You are.  I could
look at you all day--especially when you're naked."
     The boy smiled self-consciously.  "You're making fun of me."
     Tony dropped to his knees at the boy's feet, placing a hand
on each of Chad's bony knees. Earnestly, he said, "I would never
make fun of you.  I wish I could be around you all the time.
You're a great kid and you're a beautiful kid.  Is that hard for
you to believe?"
     "I'm like a circus freak."
     "No.  Don't say that.  Don't ever say that.  Maybe some day
I could take pictures of you."
     The thought of someone taking pictures of his useless legs
made Chad a little sick. "Yuck.  No way."  He didn't express his
next realization--Tony was implying they would see each other
again.  It made no sense to him why the man would want to come to
this filthy place to spend time with a pathetic, helpless boy.
Tony even had to carry him in his arms like a baby to get him
from room to room.
     "Well, it was just a thought," Tony said, his disappointment
showing.
     Chad couldn't believe it.  Tony seemed to really like the
way he looked--even with his scars and skinny legs and all. He
wanted to tell the man he would do anything for him, but he
lacked the courage to say so.
     "You really don't have any clean clothes.  I can't see
putting dirty clothes on a clean body.  How about if I lend you
the shirt I'm wearing."
     "What will you wear?"
     "It's at least 75 degrees out.  I'll be fine without one.
Maybe I could take your clothes home tonight and launder them."
     "Oh, I couldn't let you do that..."
     "But I'd bring them back in the morning."
     "You'll come back tomorrow?" he asked hopefully.
     "Think it would be okay with your father?"
     "I don't think he'll be back home by then."
     "He can't just leave you here with no food."
     "That's why they took me away last time. I'm scared they are
going to take me again."
     Tony stood and pulled his t-shirt over his head.  Chad
looked at the man's hairy torso.  Even his nipples were partially
obscured by long, straight chest hair.  The hair was thickest
across his pectorals and around his navel.  Tony was a slender
man with broad shoulders and good posture.  To Chad, he was the
most perfect and powerful man he had ever seen.
     He handed the shirt to Chad.  "Maybe I should get going."
     "Okay," the boy said bravely.  He covered his disappointment
by taking a long time to put the t-shirt on. The neck opening was
so large that one shoulder almost slipped through.  The shirt
covered his crotch.
     Tony gathered all the laundry from the bathroom, bedroom,
and living room and wrapped it in the sheet off the bed. "I'll
bring back some food tomorrow, okay?"
     "That would be great, Tony.  I don't think my dad will be
able to pay you back, though."
     "That's fine.  Maybe he'll be home soon."
     "Yeah.  Maybe."  Chad knew the man would be gone for several
more days--if he came back at all.  He half expected some bookie
to kill him over unpaid debts. Then Chad knew he'd end up in an
institution.
     "Goodbye, Chad,' Tony said as he opened the door.  He looked
at the kid and saw tears in his eyes.  He dropped the bundle of
laundry and came over to the couch. "What's wrong?"
     "I'm sorry.  I'm really glad that you're helping me out.
It's just that....I get scared all alone here at night. But I'll
be okay.  Really."
     Tony sat next to the boy and rubbed his shoulder.  Chad
collapsed against Tony's bare chest and sobbed.  Tony held him
and didn't say anything.  After a few minutes, Chad regained his
composure enough to apologize.
     "Chad, I don't want to leave you alone, but I can't stay
here."
     "It's okay.  I'll be okay."
     "Tell you what--I'll go get some burgers and hang out till
it gets dark."
     "You mean it?"
     He had to get his shirt back from the boy so he could get
service in a restaurant. When he returned 40 minutes later, Chad
sat in the same place on the couch.  His legs were casually
spread to reveal his genitals.  Tony set the greasy bag on the
coffee table and handed Chad his Coke.
     The boy sat up to take the cup but didn't make a move to
cover himself. Tony stared and he knew the kid was letting him
stare. He hoped that his pre-cum didn't soak through his jeans.
     Chad ate all of his french fries and some of Tony's.  When
they finished, Tony looked around at the barren room and said,
"So what do you do to amuse yourself?" There was no radio,
television, or telephone.
     "Not much."
     Tony got up and grabbed the book on the floor behind the
couch.  The title was: "Foreskins of our Forefathers" a
historically based adult novel. The tattered book fell open to
one place, page 135, and Tony knew it was a favorite spot for
either Chad or his father.  He started reading, plunging into a
very explicit account of a European voyage of Ben Franklin's
where he lustily availed himself of the services of a young cabin
boy.  He hoped it was Chad's favorite place since it appeared to
be the only non-heterosexual passage in the novel.
     He looked up to see Chad, with cheeks flushed red, watching
him carefully.  "This is pretty hot stuff," Tony said.
     "Dad's got about 20 more stashed under his bed. You can
check them out if you want."
     "Any others about men and young boys?"
     "No."  Chad couldn't tell how Tony knew just which passage
to read to bring him the most discomfort, but the man had
instantly found his favorite chapter.
     "No thanks, then," he said flirtatiously.  When he realized
how bad that sounded, he got sort of nervous and blurted, "I've
really got to be going."
     Chad tried to smile.  "Tony, thanks so much for everything.
I had a really good day. Best day since the accident."
     "Here, I'll give you my shirt again," Tony said, stripping
his t-shirt off. "What accident?"
     Chad looked even more depressed.  "We got in a car accident.
I got crippled and...my mom got killed."
     "Oh, I didn't know...." For some reason he had assumed Chad
had a birth defect.  "How long ago was it?"
     "Three years."
     He handed his shirt to Chad, then knew he was kidding
himself. There was no way he going to leave this vulnerable boy
alone in this dumpy apartment. "Wait," he said just as Chad
pulled the shirt over his head.
     "I'm not leaving you here.  What I'd like to do is leave a
note for you old man telling him you are at my house.  If you
don't want to do that, I could try to sleep here."
     "Really?"
     "Really. Which is it?"
     "Your place," Chad answered, trying to sound sure of
himself.
     Tony put his t-shirt on and found some of the boy's dirty
clothes.  He helped him pull the stiff, smelly underpants on.
"It'll be just like you didn't take a bath."
     "Maybe I could have another bath?"
     "You wouldn't mind?"  Chad tried not to smile, not wanting
to appear foolish.  His smile, strained as he tried to suppress
it, was a glorious sight to Tony. "Let me load your dirty clothes
into my car, then I'll come back for you.  Tony grabbed a
notebook and a pen from his car, then dashed back to Chad.
     "I'm writing a note to your dad, giving him the telephone
number where he can reach us. Just in case he comes home before
we return. I'm going to bug the manager to see if he'll help me
find your wheelchair."
     "Before you do that, just look to see if it is in the tenant
storage area in the cellar. I'm pretty sure that's where Dad put
it."
     Tony found the chair and by folding it was able to get it
into his back seat.  He went back to the apartment and said,
"Ready?"
     "You're really going to do it?"
     "Unless you tell me not to."
     "I'm ready."

PART TWO:

     Tony's house was in Jefferson Park, a neighborhood in
Chicago's northwest side.  His two flat looked very similar to
all the rest of the houses on his street.  They all had short
front yards, little space between houses, and a slightly larger
back yard.  "Here we are," he said as he got out to open his
garage door. Once he had the car inside the narrow garage, he
regretted the decision.  It was going to be hard to get the kid
and his wheel chair from the car and into the house.
     He paused again to look in on Chad.  The boy had a steely,
anxious look about him as he sat straight backed on his front
seat. "I'm going to unlock the house.  I'll be right back to get
you."
     "Okay."
     Tony fumbled with the key.  When he got inside, he scrambled
to his spare bedroom and gathered up the magazines he'd left
strewn about.  They were all nudist magazines that focused on
boys.  He had a couple of magazines that were more sexual,
including a couple of his favorites in a series called "Chicken
Little."  He rushed to his bedroom and stuffed the stack of
magazines under his bed.
     When he got back outside, he was aware he had taken too
long.  Chad looked like a dog expecting to be beaten.  Before he
opened the door to reach the boy, he could tell that his entire
body trembled fiercely.
     "What's wrong?"
     "I'm scared."
     "Of what?"
     "I don't know...."
     "I won't hurt you, Chad."  He knelt down and reached his
hand in to take Chad's hand.
     "I know."
     "Then why are you scared?"
     "I don't know," the boy said in a thin, shaky voice as tears
wetted his cheeks.
     "Well, lets get you inside and settled.  Then you'll feel a
lot better."  He stood and hooked the boy under his arms.  With
little effort, he was able to pull him from the car and cradle
him in his arms.  He walked carefully to the door and  pushed his
way inside.
     The back door opened to the kitchen.  He set Chad on a
kitchen chair and stepped back.  "I'll give you a tour in a
moment.  I'd like to bring your chair and your laundry inside
first.  Can I get you a Coke?"
     "No thanks."
     He affectionately touched the uncombed black hair over the
boy's ear.  "Sure?"
     "That's okay."
     Tony went to the refrigerator and pulled two stubby bottles
of Coke out.  He grabbed an opener from the silverware drawer and
popped the tops.  "You don't have to drink it, but I want one and
don't want to be rude."
     Chad took the Coke and immediately took a sip.  Tony beamed
at him.  "I'll be right back."
     As he brought the chair inside, Tony chided himself for
being so awkward and excited. Having this boy in his home was
beyond his wildest fantasy.  He knew it was only temporary and
that he could get into trouble for having him there.  And he knew
his intentions were clouded by lust and fantasy.  He brought the
chair in and set it up next to Chad.
     "Can I help you get into it?"
     "I'll do it," Chad said.  When Tony went out to get the
boy's dirty clothes, Chad tried to scoot over onto the
wheelchair.  Tony didn't know to set the lock and chad didn't
think about it.  As he slid, the chair moved away from him and he
fell heavily on the floor, tipping the kitchen chair over in the
process.
     "God, are you okay?" Tony said, dropping the armload of
smelly clothes and dashing to the boy's side.
     "I'm sorry.  I just can't do anything right."
     He got the frightened 11 year old into his wheelchair and
said, "Are you hurt?"
     "No."
     "Great!  Just forget about it then.  Want to see my house?"
     "You must think I'm stupid."
     He went to stand at the handles.  Impulsively he bent down
and kissed the top of Chad's head.  "I can't believe how lucky I
am to get to spend time with you."
     Chad felt the touch on the crown of his head and it took a
second for him to realize it had been a kiss.  His stomach
fluttered and he didn't know how to react. He blurted out, "I
wish I could stay with you forever."
     "Me, too," Tony replied.  He smiled as he pushed the
wheelchair into the dining room.  A cheap table with three wooden
chairs and an old upright piano were the only furnishings.  He
moved them on to the  living room.  "Not much in here.
Phonograph and television."  A sleeper sofa, a matching recliner,
and a bean bag chair were the main furnishings.  The coffee table
was cluttered with empty glasses and the leftovers of a Beefy Boy
burger.
     He pushed Chad into his bedroom. "This is my room.  Sorry
it's such a mess."
The sheets lay tangled across the double bed. A pair of jeans had
been draped across the metal bedframe.
     Chad swallowed hard and dared to ask the question on his
mind.  "Will I sleep here?"
     "Oh, I won't make you sleep with me.  I snore.  Here," he
said quickly to hide his discomfort.  Only in his dreams would he
share the bed with this beautiful child.  "Let me show you your
room."    As he hastily tried to turn the chair to exit, a wheel
got caught on a pair of his white briefs.  He bent down to free
it and saw the look of distress on Chad's face.
     "Oh. I just thought maybe...this was the only place to
sleep.  Not that you'd want to share a bed...with me."
     Tony paused, the underwear in his hand.  Before he could
think of a response he could smell the bleach-like odor of his
semen coming from the damp cotton.  He had used them for clean-up
last night after masturbating.  He saw the boy was staring at the
obviously soiled briefs and quickly stashed them in the closet.
     They were both uncomfortable again.  Tony cursed himself for
not being able to make the child feel secure.  Was the boy
indicating he wanted to share the bed?  He didn't know what to do
so he retreated to the safety of the back of the wheelchair, out
of the boy's line of sight.  He took him down the hall to the
spare bedroom, his mind racing over how to deal with the
ambiguity.
     As he pushed the chair into the spare bedroom, he said, "It
might be kind of scary in here all alone. You can sleep here if
you like.  Or, you can sleep in my bed.  Your choice."
     "I don't want to be any trouble...."
     "Then perhaps you should sleep with me.  That way if you
need anything during the night, I'll be right there to wake up."
     Tony joined the boy in a triumphant smile.  Still, he wished
he could make the boy more comfortable.  The problem, of course,
was his secret desire to make love to Chad.  That desire was
fanned further a moment later.
     "Tony, I feel kind of gross in these dirty clothes.  Can we
take them off?"
     "I forgot all about it, Chad.  I'm sorry."
     He wheeled the boy into the living room and said, "Shall I
help you?"
     "It's hard for me to get long pants off."
     Tony knelt at his feet and unlaced his shoes.  They were in
need of a coat of shoe polish.  The socks were stiff and had
holes in them.  The smell was not pleasant, so Tony breathed
through his mouth.  When he looked up, he saw the boy's slender,
graceful chest.  He had unbuttoned the shirt and slipped it off.
     Tony allowed himself a moment to look at the boy's large
brown nipples.  The contoured shape of his chest and rib cage
showed plainly beneath the pale skin.  Even his collar bones
seemed more pronounced. Still on his knees, he slid closer and
tentatively reached for the snap at the waist of his slacks.  To
accommodate this, Chad leaned back and moved his hands away from
his lap.  As Tony fumbled with the snap, Chad sucked his stomach
in to give him better access.  It popped, then Tony pulled the
zipper open, exposing the filthy shorts beneath the slacks.
     He moved back a little and pulled the trousers down the
boy's legs. Chad grunted as he lifted his hips a little.  Tony
wasted no time in repeating the procedure to remove the boy's
underpants.
     He scooped up the dirty clothes and stood staring at the
boy's crotch.  "Wow.  As good as you look, I may never give you
your clothes back."
     In response, Chad smiled and spread his legs wider.  "Do you
really like the way I look?  Aren't the scars and my skinny legs
kind of disgusting?"
     "Not at all. Shall I get you some of my clothes?"
     "Can I have another bath?" he asked shyly.
     "Only if I get to dry you again."
     "Yeah!"
     By the time the water was drawn in the tub, the boy had an
erection.  Tony felt pleased that Chad made no effort to hide it.
He looked pointedly at the 2-1/4 inch erection.  Sincerely, he
said, "I'm glad to see you are getting more comfortable being
around me."
     Chad giggled and covered himself with both hands.
     "Let's go."  The boy's arms fit naturally around his neck as
he carried him to the bathroom, as though this were a common
event for them. Tony noted that the boy did not stiffen
defensively as he lowered Chad into the tub.  Could the boy
really trust him so soon?  He dared to hope so.
     Chad began rubbing the soap to make lather.  He looked up
sweetly and said, "I'm glad you brought me here."
     "Oh, Chad, I just wish I could keep you here."
     Never had he seen the boy look so intense.  "Maybe you can."
     Tony knelt down to have his face closer to Chad's.  "Your
dad has custody of you now.  Even if he didn't the state would
never let you go into the home of a bachelor."
     Chad looked momentarily crestfallen.  He knew the dream was
too good to last for long.  "Tony, how come you aren't married?"
     "Oh, I don't know. Maybe no woman would have me."
     "You've got a job, a house, a car.  You're strong and
handsome. I'd think any woman would want you."
     "Well, thanks. But I don't date women...."
     "Why not?"
     It felt like an interrogation.  Tony looked up to see the
boy keenly studying him. It was an interrogation.  "You tell me."
     Chad splashed the water with his mostly limp legs and
started to rub the lather across his chest.  "Is it because
you're...you know...."
     "What?"
     "Queer?" He whispered, as though he didn't dare say it out
loud.
     "Well, maybe I am, sort of. Does that make you like me
less?"
     "Oh, no.  You're my best friend ever. I was sort of hoping
you were, you know...."
     "Well, I've never had a boyfriend.  Or been attracted to a
man."
     "Oh."  Chad could not hide his disappointment. He stared
down at his erection, wishing it would go away.
     Tony knew this was a crucial conversation in their
relationship.  The boy had been fishing for a confession.  Why?
>From his disappointment, Tony had a clue.  He hoped his
conclusion was correct.
     He swallowed hard, then decided that the kid deserved the
truth.  He was so vulnerable in so many ways, yet so mature and
intelligent.  More out of respect for the boy than out of desire
to seduce him, Tony confessed.  "But I am attracted to you."
     It took a moment for the statement to register. "Really?"
     "Chad, you are my friend.  And I care very much about what
happens to you.  It's just that there is this other part, these
urges. But I can control them.  Except maybe...maybe it wouldn't
be a good idea for me to towel you dry."
     "But you promised!"
     "That was before you knew how I felt toward you."
     "Please?"
     "Well...okay.  First, let me shampoo your hair."
     He grabbed a towel to kneel on, then got toothbrushing cup
from the sink.  He scooped water from the tub and poured it on
the long, black hair.  Chad closed his eyes, his mouth turned
upward in a contented smile.  After wetting the boy's hair, Tony
began applying shampoo.  The first application didn't produce
much lather, so he quickly rinsed it and applied more shampoo,
this time rubbing his fingertips into the boy's scalp as a rich
lather slid down his neck and onto his back.
     "That feels really good," Chad said.
     "You have nice hair."
     "Maybe sometime I could shampoo your hair."
     "I don't usually bathe.  I prefer using the shower."
     "I've never taken a shower before."
     "I love them."
     "Maybe we could take one together."
     Tony felt his heart flutter at what was clearly a seductive
line. Without responding, he completed the final rinse.  "You're
starting to shrivel up," he said as he pulled the plug.  "Stay
right there," he said as he went to get a towel.  Then he
realized the boy had no choice but to stay right there, and he
felt his cheeks flush with embarrassment.
     Chad said, "Sometimes after my baths I used to run around
the house naked.  Mom called me a savage." Chad's face went from
a smile to a frown.  "Of course, that was before the accident."
     Tony felt like crying. What an accident.  He had lost the
use of his legs.  Worse, he had lost his mother.  Tony put the
towel over Chad's head and began rubbing it to get some of the
water from his hair.  He pulled the towel back and solemnly
kissed the top of Chad's head.
     "You miss her a lot, don't you?"
     Chad suddenly wrapped his arms around Tony's neck, pulling
himself around so he could press his cheek against the man's
neck.  Tony leaned forward to awkwardly accommodate the boy's
hug. With damp hair pressed against his cheek, he couldn't help
but notice Chad's flaccid penis.
     He spoke into Tony's neck. "I never used to think about her.
I was afraid I'd forgotten."  He broke free of the hug and said,
"I never want to forget her."
     "You won't. She had a lot to do with your turning out to be
the wonderful kid you are."
     "I'm getting sort of cold."  The tub would be drained within
a minute.  Tony grabbed a couple of beach towels from the shelf
and lifted the boy, pausing to wrap him in the towels.  He
carried Chad into the living room and set him on the sofa.  After
turning the radio on, he sat next to Chad and opened the towels
to expose the boy's slender, pale body.  Though Chad was mostly
dry from being wrapped in the towels, Tony began gently rubbing
the towel across the boy's chest.
     "That feels nice."
     Through the fluffy cotton of the towel, his fingertips
explored the boy's torso, avoiding his genitals.  By the time he
was ready to "dry" the boy's genitals, both of them were fully
aroused.  He lightly rubbed across the 11 year old's balls.  "Let
me know if you want me to stop."
     "Oh, it feels so good."
     Chad used his elbows to prop himself up to get a view of the
action.  Tony couldn't believe how cute and delicate the little
glans was. He enveloped it with the towel and felt the boy's hips
rise slightly. The dark lashes closed on his crisp green eyes,
and his mouth gaped open in a fetching display of sexual passion
and pleasure.
     After a moment, Tony set the towel aside.  He let his
fingertips brush from base to tip of Chad's cock.  Chad's eyes
flew open, and again he said, "That feels really good." Despite
the hot bath, Chad's balls were snug against the base of his
cock.
     Tony felt the urge and didn't pause to think, he just leaned
forward and kissed the marble-sized glans. Tony felt the boy's
abdominal muscles contract, so he looked up, not sure whether the
boy wanted him to continue or to stop.  Chad gazed at him with
wide eyes.  "Wow," he said.
     "More?"
     "More."
     Tony returned his face to Chad's crotch. There was no smell,
unlike his own hairy crotch.  He licked across the smooth skin
covering his pubis, then ran his tongue across the wrinkled
scrotum, feeling the testes churning beneath his caress.  When he
brought his lips the length of the short shaft, he used his
fingertip to lift it, guiding Chad's cock into his mouth.  The
miniature shaft fit nicely against his cupped tongue, as he
slightly raised and lowered his head.
     "Do that some more," Chad encouraged, bringing both hands to
cradle Tony's head. As the head began to move up and down, the
fingers entwined his hair.
     The muscles in Chad's hips and abdomen began to twitch.
"Tony, I feel funny," he said, a tinge of fear in his voice.
     Tony smacked his lips and said, "Just relax and in a minute
it will feel even better."  He sucked Chad's cock back into his
mouth.  It was less than two minutes before the boy's hips began
the involuntary thrusts of his orgasm.  The boy's hands had moved
to the top of Tony's head and were applying surprisingly strong
downward pressure.  Tony pressed his lips against the hairless
balls and remained motionless as the boy's hips danced out his
orgasm. When the hips became motionless and the grip on his head
eased, Tony raised up and made eye contact.
     "Was that fun?"
     "Boy, I'll say!" Totally unashamed, he sprawled out on the
sofa.  Chad liked the way Tony looked at his naked body.  He like
the way Tony made his naked body feel, too.  "Can we do that
again?"
     "Right now?" Tony asked in dismay.  The boy's penis was
still erect. Tony felt his own discomfort, caused by extended
overarousal, and wondered if the boy was ready to see an adult's
cock.  The green eyes were all innocence and trust.  He knew he
wouldn't bring up the subject of his own sexual release.  That
was up to Chad.
     "Can we?"
     "How about something to eat?"
     The boy frowned.  "Okay.  You aren't mad at me, are you?"
     "Why would I be mad?"
     "I don't know...'cause of what I asked you to do."
     "I'm very happy, Chad.  I liked what I did, and I liked the
fact it made you feel good.  Actually, making you feel good was
the best part of it for me."
     "Why?"
     "Because I like you, you big dope. When you really like
someone, finding ways to make them happy is very rewarding."  He
nudged playfully at the boy's damp hair, then started toward the
kitchen.  "How about some spaghetti?"
     "Sure. That'd be great."
     Tony stopped in the doorway.  "Do you want me to help you
into the wheel chair, or would you rather relax on the sofa for a
few minutes?"
     "Can I come to the kitchen with you?"
     "I'd like that."  He brought the chair next to the sofa,
placed a towel down on the seat of it, then set the naked boy on
it.  "There.  How's that?"
     "Good."
     "Would you rather I get you some clothes?"
     "I don't care.  Whatever you want."
     "Then you'll stay naked."
     Chad smiled.
     He went to the kitchen, put a pot on the old gas range, and
turned the radio on.  The Beatles were playing "Roll Over
Beethoven," and he sang along.  A moment later, Chad wheeled
himself into the room.  Tony pulled a chair away from the table
so the kid could get close to it.  As he waited for the water to
boil, he opened a can of stewed tomatoes and tomato paste.
     "Ever cut and onion?"
     "No."
     "Want to learn?" Without waiting for a reply, he brought a
cutting board, a butcher knife and a large yellow onion over to
the table.
     Chad looked at the cutting board, which was a piece of wood
cut in the outline of a pig.  He giggled.  Then he listened
carefully while Tony gave him directions.
     "What ever you do, don't cut yourself.  I can't stand the
sight of blood."
     Tony unwrapped a pound of ground beef from the white
butcher's paper and dropped it in a frying pan.  "You've got to
set the fire on low to brown the hamburger."
     "Oh," the kid replied, looking up from the onion, which he
had peeled and sliced once.  His eyes stung so he squinted.
     "Smells like a strong onion.  You'll be crying like a baby
in a minute."  He began rummaging around in the cupboard.  "I
know I have some oregano around here somewhere."
     "What's that?"
     "A spice.  Can't make a decent spaghetti sauce without it.
I'd normally add garlic, too, but I have a feeling I'm pushing
things with you to use onion.  You'd never eat it if I put garlic
in."
     "Onions are okay.  But I don't know what garlic is."
     Tony grabbed a clove from the ice box and handed it to Chad.
"Give me a week or so, and I'll have you cooking like an old
housewife."
     Chad smiled, thinking that he'd give anything to get to stay
with Tony that long.     "Good job on the onion," Tony said,
picking up the cutting board.  "I'm just going to add it to the
hamburger meat."  Using the butcher knife, he scraped the onions
into the sizzling pan.
     He came back to get the clove of garlic.  "It's reassuring
to see your dick isn't always hard as a rock."
     Chad's face turned bright red.  His penis was not completely
flaccid, but concentrating on cutting the onion had taken his
mind off the intense pleasure from a few moments earlier.  At the
mention of it, however, the pencil-thin shaft twitched.
     "Oops.  I spoke too soon."  That turned Chad's face even
more red.  And his cock became completely stiff again.  He put a
hand in his lap to cover it.  Tony added, "Course, with the sight
of you to distract me, I'll probably ruin the spaghetti."
     But he didn't ruin it, and during the dinner, they talked
about music, Have Gun Will Travel (a television show), and the
Apollo space program. By the time Tony finished the dishes, it
was 10:00 pm.
     "Bedtime."
     Tony had every intention of caressing Chad's naked body once
they were in bed; however, once he had lifted the boy onto the
bed and he saw the thin body relax into his soft, clean pillow,
Tony knew the boy needed a good night's sleep.  He saw the dark
circles under the boy's eyes, and realized he probably hadn't
slept that well--being alone and frightened and hungry in the
small apartment. Tony had put Chad on the side of the bed closest
to the wall.  He sat next to the boy and stoked his cheek.
     "Go to sleep, Chad. Tomorrow we're going back to your
apartment so I can clean it up a little.  Don't want those social
workers to stick you in some institution again, do we?"
     Chad raised up on one elbow. "I want to stay here with you
forever!"
     Tony pulled the Chad's head to his chest and hugged him.
"I'd like that, too, Chad.  But we'll have to settle for what we
can get.  When your dad gets home, maybe we can work something
out so I can see you several times a week."
     He kissed the top of Chad's head and lowered him back to the
bed.  "Now go to sleep."
     "Aren't you coming to bed?"
     "Not yet.  I've got to balance the checkbook and make a list
of things to do for tomorrow.  I'll sneak quietly to bed in about
an hour.  If you're asleep when I get here, you won't have to
listen to me snore."
     "I don't mind if you snore."
     "And there's one other thing...you can't tell anyone,
especially not the social worker, that we slept in the same bed.
I hate having secrets, but it's important."
     "I hate those people from social services."
     "Promise not to tell anyone?"
     Chad looked very serious.  "I promise.  But Tony?"
     "Yes."
     "Are we doing something bad?"
     "I don't think so.  Most people would think it is very wrong
for us to share a bed.  Almost everyone would think it was a bad
thing that I did to you after the bath."
     "Yeah.  I guess I knew that." He looked troubled.
     "You need to decide whether you think what we did was bad.
Because if you feel guilty or have any bad feelings about it,
then we need to make certain it doesn't happen again."
     "But you don't feel bad about it?"
     "No, Chad.  I enjoyed being so close to you.  It seemed like
you enjoyed it, too."
     "I did."
     Tony smiled.
     "I really did!"
     "Great.  I'd hate to think that I made you feel bad."
     "So we can do it again sometime?"
     "I hope so."
     "Good night, Tony." The boy fell back onto the pillow with a
contented look on his face.
     Tony leaned down and quickly kissed him on the forehead.  He
straightened up.  "Good night, Chad."
     "That's the first time anyone kissed me since...."
     Tony knew the words the kid choked on: "Since my mom died."
     But Chad sniffled once, then finished by saying "...in a
long time."
     Tony bent to kiss his forehead again, but instead he met the
boy's surprisingly full and soft lips.  Though intensely
intimate, the brief kiss did not feel sexual.  Tony felt a warm
flush suffuse his body, providing him for the first time with the
satisfaction of having truly connected with an expression of
love.  He turned off the light and quietly slipped into the hall.
As he stood for a moment to reflect, Tony realized that the
precious moments of love would not last long. Boys grow into men.
That was part of the curse of being a boy-lover.
     Two hours later, Tony stepped softly into his bedroom, and
stood beside the bed.  With the shades drawn and the lights out
in the house, the room seemed textured with layers of darkness.
But for the first time in his adult life, his bedroom was not
empty.  By standing motionless and holding his own breath, he
could hear the gentle rasp of the sleeping child's breath.  The
sound possessed a beauty beyond the grasp of the world's greatest
composers.
     He slowly undressed down to his briefs, then very carefully
lifted the sheet to slide under it.  As the bed creaked under his
weight, he realized Chad lay next to him without clothing.  The
thought sent a weight to his groin as his penis fattened and
rolled to one side within the gentle confines of his briefs. He
stared toward the invisible ceiling and wondered at his good
fortune.
     He awakened slowly into the still-dark night with a warm
sexual glow.  The waistband of his briefs had been stretched and
hooked beneath his balls.  The pressure against them was nearly
painful.  Perhaps it would have been painful if not for the
delicious sensations coming from his erection.  Chad had Tony's
cock in one fist and slowly worked the foreskin across the glans.
He felt the boy's breath on his ribs, and knew Chad had slid
downward on the bed. Judging by how close he was to orgasm, Tony
decided the boy had probably been masturbating him for some time.
     Not wanting to break the spell, he lay motionless, allowing
the boy to continue his ministrations. After a moment, Chad began
lengthening his strokes.  They seemed awkward, perhaps from
fatigue.  When he pushed down too hard, stretching the skin and
slapping his little fist into Tony's stretched and taut balls,
Tony involuntarily moaned.
     Chad froze in place, keeping his grip on the cock but no
longer manipulating it.  Tony thrust his hips upward in
encouragement and Chad again began covering and exposing the
slick glans.  Because of the slowness of the boy's strokes and
the dream-like quality of being awakened in the middle of the
night, Tony's orgasm built for a long time.  It started as a
hollow place behind his balls.  His stomach muscles began to
constrict and he panted in shallow breaths.
     He wanted it to last and tried to hold back, but things had
gone beyond the point of control.  His knees rose and his hands
began moving toward his crotch, when suddenly his hips raised off
the bed and he grunted blissfully.  From the moment of first
contraction until the drops of semen splattered heavily against
his chest, time seemed to stand still. Then any semblance of
control was lost as his hips bounced on the sweaty sheet.
Subsequent wads of semen landed closer to his cock, with the last
two or three emissions softly seeping across the 11 year old's
knuckles.
     When it was over, Tony gently released Chad's hand from his
slackening erection, and pulled the boy onto his chest.  Still
not over how powerful Tony' orgasm had been, Chad was further
amazed at the quantity of slippery stuff that his naked body was
pulled upon.  He felt the slippery fluid on his cheek and at
various places the length of his abdomen. The crude, bleach-like
smell of the semen served to make him even more aroused.  His 2-
1/4 inch erection pressed into the slimy, wiry pubic hairs, and
his little balls nuzzled against the slick cock.  Chad felt
relieved when Tony pulled him onto his chest.  He'd been
uncertain how the man would react to his boldness. Clearly, it
had been okay with Tony.
     The man gently stoked the boy's hair and again started to
drift off to sleep.  Chad was very horny and was starting to feel
a little frustrated.  He had hoped Tony would want to do
something to him, maybe even take his little dick into his mouth
again.  He sighed and thrust his hips into Tony's soggy crotch,
savoring the coarse, stimulating friction.
     Tony brought his hand down to the boy's buttocks, sliding
his middle finger in the moist cleft.  By applying pressure with
his hand, he manipulated Chad's erection against his body.  Chad
worked his hips as well as he could, feeling anger at his useless
legs. He stopped for a moment when he felt the fingertip rub
across the rubbery tissue of his anus.  It made him feel even
more tingles--all the way to his clenched toes.
     "Do that again," he whispered.
     Tony slid his hand between their bodies and gathered some of
his semen onto his fingertip.  He worked it into the crack of the
boy's butt, connecting quickly with his anus.  Using the semen
for a little lubrication, he gently eased his fingertip inside.
The tiny opening pinched at his finger.  He pressed it in to the
second joint, then began using the palm of his hand to rub their
crotches together once again.
     Chad face rubbed against Tony's chest, bringing some of the
semen to his lips.  Impulsively, the lust-filled boy licked his
lips.  The only taste was a sort of bitter saltiness.  It wasn't
anything like it smelled.  As the sensations in his anus and cock
mounted to a feverish pitch, he licked the rest of the puddle of
semen from Tony's hairy chest.  He could feel some hairs in his
mouth, but he didn't care so long as the electric pleasure
continued at his groin.
     Tony felt the boy licking at his chest, and began to realize
for the first time, how physically and emotionally ready for sex
a pre-pubescent boy could be. It wasn't a pleasant little game of
forbidden tickling--it was full blown sexual passion. While
continuing to probe the boy's rectum, he brought his other hand
between their bodies and grasped at the finger-like erection.
>From the trashing and small gasping sounds, the boy's dry orgasm
became evident. Remembering how sensitive Chad was immediately
after orgasm, he released the boy's cock.  He was more reluctant
to pull his finger from the boy's butt.  The sphincter muscle had
relaxed significantly and he was able to push his finger in as
deeply as it would go without meeting much resistance.
     Even after he slid Chad off his body and snuggled up against
him, he left his finger inside.  Chad slept before him.  When the
alarm went off at 7:00, his finger was still inside Chad's anus.
He raised up to silence the alarm with the other hand.  Chad, who
was sleeping on his side facing away from Tony, pulled a pillow
over his head.
     "Good morning," Tony said, leaning down to kiss the boy's
shoulder.
     The pillow came off his head. "Good morning."
     "Shall I carry you to the bathroom?"
     "Yes, please."
     Reluctantly, he withdrew his finger.  As the boy rolled onto
his back, Tony saw the patches of dried semen on the boy's
radiant skin.  Looking down, he saw crusts of semen sticking to
the hairs on his torso.  "Looks like we'll both need to do some
cleaning up."
     "Another bath?" the boy asked hopefully.  His penis was
erect.
     "Maybe later.  Just a washcloth this morning.  We have to
get over to your apartment and get it cleaned up."
     It took a long time to actually get any work done.  First he
had to carry the wheelchair out to the car, then all the cleaning
supplies, then Chad.  On the way there Tony realized there was
very little food at the apartment.  He felt incompetent for not
having planned ahead to go to the grocery store before he got
everything loaded into the car.
     "Chad, I've got to stop and get some groceries.  It's too
hot to leave you in the car.  I know it's a pain, but would you
mind coming shopping with me?"
     The boy's face lit up.  "You're going to take me into a
store?"
     Tony's confusion lasted only a moment.  He hadn't considered
that Chad didn't get many opportunities to go shopping.  Who
would take him?  "Yeah.  If anyone asks, tell them I'm your
father."
     "Sure thing," Chad said.  A moment later, he smiled and
added, "Dad."
     Tony swatted at his knee, then pulled into the Piggy Wiggly
parking lot.  Getting Chad into the wheel chair proved to be an
easier task than he had imagined.  Practice was making the two of
them work much better together as a team.  He pushed the boy into
the store, noting the stares he got from a couple little old
ladies with blue hair.  He saw the kid as if from fresh eyes.  He
looked insignificant in the adult-sized chair.  Further, it was
difficult for him to maneuver it.  Tony wondered what a child's
wheel chair would cost.
     He handed the kid a box from the bin by the checkout aisle.
"You've got to hold the groceries in your lap."
     "No problem, Tony." A moment later, he said, "No problem,
Dad."
     He went down every aisle--not because he needed that much
stuff, but because Chad was wide-eyed at everything.He couldn't
help but ask: "When was the last time you were in a grocery
store?"
     "I don't know.  I guess I was 8 years old."
     After Tony had loaded the chair, groceries and Chad into the
car, he said, "If you could go to the store and buy anything you
wanted, what would it be?"
     Chad thought for a moment.  "I don't need anything."
     "A toy?  Books?"
     "Well...I've always wanted a pair of Converse tennis shoes.
Black ones."
     "There's a shoe store between here and your apartment.
We'll stop and see if they've got Converse."  He looked at the
boy's battered penny loafers.  Sure they were in bad shape, but
it seemed strange that a kid who had practically nothing and who
couldn't walk, would want a pair of shoes.
     It took 30 minutes, but he took the boy into the store, had
him sized and slapped down $15.00 for the shoes.  Chad wore them,
choosing to put his old shoes in the trash. In the car, Chad kept
looking at his shoes and smiling.  Tony, though perplexed, felt
an inner glow at having provided some pleasure to the boy.
     After dragging the chair up the stairs, he got Chad situated
in the living room.  "Damn, I forgot to bring a book for you to
read."  He opened all the windows in the stuffy apartment, then
handed Chad the porno novel about Ben Franklin.
     "That's okay.  I'll just watch you, if you don't mind." He
left the book on his lap but didn't look at it.
     "Okay, but later, I may want you to read out loud to me."
     He hauled the groceries and cleaning supplies up to the
apartment. After four hours of intensive cleaning, he felt the
kitchen, living room, and bathroom were acceptable.  He collapsed
on the couch near where Chad sat in his wheel chair.
     "The place looks great," Chad said.
     "Thanks."
     "You're not taking me back to your place, are you?" Chad
asked in a small, wounded voice.
     "No. I have to work tomorrow, and we'd both get in big
trouble if social services couldn't find you."
     "Are you going to call them?"
     "God, no! They would try to keep me from seeing you."
     "Can't I stay with you tonight.  You could drop me off on
your way to work." Chad hated that he was begging, but he
couldn't stop himself.  Worse, once he started, he couldn't stop.
He saw Tony's sad look, his shaking head, and it made his
desperation climb.  "Please. I won't be any trouble.  You don't
even have to carry my upstairs tomorrow.  I can crawl."  His
voice broke and he turned his face toward his lap to hide his
tears. "I can crawl," he repeated.
     Tony clenched his fists.  He knew his fury was his way of
protecting himself from feeling vulnerable and inadequate.
Knowing wasn't enough to stop it.  "Stop it!"
     A single sniffle punctuated the silence in the room.
     Tony sat on a rickety chair at the kitchen table.  "I've got
a deck of cards.  Want to play something?"
     "I don't know how," came the sullen reply.
     "Then come and learn."
     They played until dark--rummy, kings in the corner, black
jack.  The light from the kitchen window grew dim as dusk
settled.  Tony looked at his watch. "It's after 9:00, Chad.  I've
got to go."
     "Okay."
     Tony slid his chair closer to the boy, gently lifting the
chin of the solemn face. "Look at me."  Tony resisted kissing the
pouting lips. "I'll be back after work tomorrow.  I'll bring some
books and a radio.  Anything else you want?"
     "You promise you'll come?"
     "I'll be here about 6:00."  He leaned in slowly and Chad's
lips met his in a short kiss. "I love you," he said as he stroked
Chad's hair.
     Chad looked stunned.  "No, you don't," he said quickly. No
one loved him. He was a cripple in a chair and the most anyone
could feel for him was pity.  He had known that even before the
fat orderly at the Institute told him so.
     He felt miserable as he saw Tony's face turn ashen, knowing
that he'd hurt him. Tony sat back, looked absently out the
window, and silently cursed himself for taking such a chance.  Of
course, it would scare the kid to have him come on so strong.
And how could Chad react but to accept his advances.  He knew the
kid desperately needed a caretaker.  Not a 40 year old lover.
     "Sorry.  I shouldn't have said that." He got to his feet and
moved behind Chad. "I'd better get going."
     "Tony," he said in a small, choked voice.
     But Tony had already turned the door handle and stood in the
hall.  "Good night, Chad.  See you tomorrow."
     He wheeled his chair around in time to see the door closing.
"Tony!" he called as it slammed.  He sat for a nearly a minute,
hopefully waiting for Tony to return. Then he wheeled to the sink
and raised himself up on the counter to peer out the window.  He
saw Tony's car pull from the curb and burst into tears, believing
he had sent the man away forever.

     That night Tony got his child pornography collection out and
looked through the photos.  Most of the boys had smiling faces,
and they proudly displayed their bodies.  Even the boys who were
being sodomized seemed to be enjoying themselves.  But he
wondered if they were.  Were they like Chad, cripples in their
own way who were dependent upon exploitive men for their well-
being?  He gathered the collection and started toward the trash
bin.
     He nearly made it to the kitchen when the phone rang.  He
kept the magazines in hand as he grabbed the phone.
     John Hasken's deep voice greeted him. "Man, I've been trying
to get hold of you all day."
     "What's up?"
     "Met a guy on the south side that's got a box full of mags.
There's nearly 100 of them.   And Tony, these are really hot.  I
saw a couple of them.  They're all full-fledged fucking and some
of the kids are only 5 or 6. There's all sorts of stuff--pissing,
bondage, gang bangs. Anyway, the deal is, he needs to unload the
whole shipment.  All he wants is $500."
     "Wow." He looked at the magazines in his hand and the
thought of a treasure chest of them, gave him the start of an
erection.
     "The best part is, he says he can get his hands on 8mm
movies, too.  He comes to Chicago every other month.  So, Tony,
can I count on you for half?"
     Tony had nearly $500 in his savings account, so he knew he
could do it. "That's a lot of money," he said, not trying to
conceal his excitement.
     "Then you're in."
     He nearly said yes, but a sudden image of Chad, laboring to
maneuver his adult-sized wheel chair sprang into his head.  "Hey,
John, what does a wheel chair cost?"
     "How the hell would I know.  You get in an accident?"
     "No.  John, I've got to pass on this deal.  Thanks for
calling me, though,"
     "Listen, Tony, you don't know what you're missing here.
You're dick will be hard for 5 years, for Christ's sake."
     "I can't afford it right now, buddy."
     "Shit, borrow it from your mother."
     "You know she's dead."
     "Well, how about Father O'Meara?"
     "Right, John.  I just stroll on up to the sanctuary and say,
'Hey Padre, spare some money so I can buy pictures of little boys
getting fucked?'  I'm sure he'd be glad to help."
     "Okay, Tony.  But you're missing out.  Don't expect another
chance like this one."
     "Thanks again, John."
     Tony hung up and carefully hid his magazines under the bed
in the spare bedroom.

     Tony made a few phone calls the next morning, then went out
on his lunch to a medical supply store and paid $200 for a
child's wheel chair.  After work he raced to Chad's apartment.
No one answered when he knocked.  He tried forcing the door, but
it was locked.  Finally, he got the grumbling manager to open it
for him.  Chad, his wheel chair, and his small sack of clothing
were all gone.  He looked around for a note, but there was none.
He sat down at the table and cradled his head in his hands.
     He left a note with his phone number in case Chad returned,
but he knew the boy wouldn't.  There was only one explanation of
the boy's disappearance--social services had come and chosen to
remove him. And if they had come, why wouldn't they take him--his
father was no where to be found.
     He carried the wheel chair into the house and set it up in
the living room.  He knew he should take it back to get a refund,
but the thought of giving up seemed too much to bear.  Inside, a
hollow pain pulsed like his heart.  The unrelenting emotional
pain didn't leave throughout cooking and forcing himself to eat
his supper.  He settled down in front of the television.  An hour
later, Lawrence Welk a program he detested, came on.  He lacked
the volition to get up to change the channel.
     By 10:00, the pain and turmoil had begun to fade.  When the
telephone rang, he rushed to it, fumbling the receiver in his
eagerness. The pain returned when he discovered it was not Chad.
     "Hello, John."
     "Jesus, pal, don't sound so excited."
     "Sorry.  I was hoping you were someone else."
     "That's what my mother says, too." John laughed at his own
joke. "Anyway, guy, remember the big deal you passed up
yesterday?"
     "Yeah, I remember."
     "You can still get in on it.  I need someone to come with me
to make the buy. I'll cut you in for $100."
     "Why do you need someone with you?"
     "This guy is kind of scary."
     "Then you should stay away from him."
     "Come on, Tony.  You know I can't stay away from something
like this.  I've had a hard-on for two straight days."
     "You should try masturbating...."
     "That's why I want the mags, stupid.  I can be there to pick
you up in 30 minutes.  Say 'yes' Tony."
     "Man, tomorrow is a work day."
     "Come on, Tony.  If the magazines don't mean anything to you-
-and I know better than that--won't you do it as a favor for a
friend?"
     He sighed.  "Fine."
     "Great man!  See you in a bit."
     "I don't have $100 in cash and the banks are closed."
     "No sweat, man.  You can pay me tomorrow."
     "And, John, you take the bondage and weird shit.  I'm not
interested."
     "No problemo, partner."

     The rendezvous was in a warehouse district near the
stockyards.  A van stood alone beneath a streetlight.  John
pulled up next to the van, positioning his car for a swift
getaway.  As they got out of John's car,  a stout man with greasy
black hair got out of the van.
     "Got the bread?"
     "Yes.  Got the magazines," John said.  Tony could tell John
was nervous.  Tony felt a sort of recklessness, as though he
almost hoped something went wrong.
     The man opened the side door of the van and handed a
flashlight to John.  "Take a look at the goods."
     John took the light, looked back at Tony for reassurance,
then leaned inside the van.  "Jesus Christ," he said stepping
back.  He looked at the man.  "There's a kid in there."
     "Oh, Miguel?  He's just some merchandise I'm bringing back
from a party."
     "He's beautiful."
     "Think so?  Miguel, come on out."
     A moment later a dark skinned boy of about 9 stepped into
the dim glow of the streetlight.  He was naked. He stood
unsteadily and looked questioningly at the man.
     "Is he drunk?" Tony asked, feeling a little excited and
disgusted.
     "No. It's smack. If you guys want, I'll give you a freebie.
He ain't too fresh at the moment, but you can fuck him, long as
you do it quick."
     The kid looked at Tony through glazed eyes and licked his
lips.
     Tony stepped back. "No thanks," he said.
     "Where?" John asked.
     "In the van.  First show me your money, though."
     John took the money from the envelope he'd stuffed into the
front of his jeans and handed it to the man.  The kid led the way
into the van.
     "Leave the door open," the man said.
     Tony felt sickened and embarrassed as they stood watching
the van rock on its springs.  Less than five minutes later John
came out of the van.  He turned and picked up the box of
magazines and said, "Thanks, man."
     "You want the boy to spend some time with you, he costs $25
an hour. Just call me."  The man pushed a piece of paper into
John's pocket.
     John put the magazines in the trunk.  As soon as they were
safely back on the streets, John let out a whoop.  "God, that was
so fantastic."
     "I'm happy for you."
     "What the hell's the matter with you, Tony?  You had a
chance at your first piece of boy-ass and you passed it up."
     "I felt sorry for the kid."
     "Come on.  He was feeling no pain.  Besides, his ass was
pretty loose.  I went all the way inside in one thrust.  The kid
didn't even flinch."
     "The kid didn't need another fuck.  He needs an adult to
love him, to take care of him."
     "Come on, man.  He's probably got a shitty life, but I had
nothing to do with that."
     "Did you make him feel better about himself?"
     "Tony, what the hell is eating you?"
     John was the only man he knew who also liked boys.  It would
have been comforting to share his grief and concerns with
someone.  After what he had seen this night, he knew John was not
a person he could tell.

     The next day, he gave John $100 and John gave him 10
magazines.  He didn't even look at them, just stashed them with
the rest of his collection. He knew he would want them at some
future point.  Every evening for the next week, he went to the
apartment.  He got a call from John on Thursday.  The man had
contracted gonorrhea.  Though he didn't say so, Tony felt no
sympathy for John.  His heart felt like breaking for the Mexican
kid, however. On Friday when he stopped by Chad's apartment,
there was a light on.  He rushed up the steps and pounded on the
door.
     A scrawny fifty year old man wearing nothing except boxer
shorts opened the door and said, "Who the hell are you?"
     "My name is Tony.  Are you Dan, Chad's father?"
     "Yeah.  But, who the hell are you?"
     "A friend of Chad's.  I'm the guy that cleaned your
apartment.  May I come in?"
     He sat on the couch across from Dan.  The man grabbed his
fifth of Jim Beam bourbon from the kitchen counter and took a
long drink.
     "Want some?"
     "Sure," he leaned forward to take the bottle.  He'd never
had straight bourbon, so he took a sip.  It burned, but he didn't
mind.  He took another sip and passed the bottle back.
     "Where is Chad?" Tony asked.
     "How the fuck would I know?"
     "Have you called the people from social services?"
     "No. I ain't got a phone."
     "Did you get anything in the mail?"
     "The mail.  I didn't think to check that."
     "Give me the key and I'll check."
     The mailboxes were in the entryway.  There were several
letters, including one from the State of Illinois.  He rushed
back to Dan and handed him the mail.  "Open it."
     The man studied the letter. "Yeah.  He's in foster care.
They said I abandoned him."
     "You did."
     "No.  I just got...delayed." He studied the letter.
"There's a number I'm supposed to call."
     He made coffee and tried to make small talk.  Finally, the
bleary eyed man asked, "What do you want from me?"
     "I want you to be a father to your son."
     "Just like that.  What the fuck do you know about me...or
him?"
     "I know his mother died in a car accident. And that ever
since then you've been drunk."
     "That ain't when I started getting drunk.  I was drunk when
I wrecked the car.  I've never been good for nothing, Tony, so
don't try to reform me.  Okay?"
     "Okay," he said thoughtfully.  "But what about Chad?"
     "I can't even bear to look at him.  It's my fault he's
ruined.  Can't you see how it is for me.  I did that to him!"
     "He needs you."
     "I get sick to my stomach looking at him.  Get out."
     "Look. When I met him, Chad was in a home for retarded kids.
He had no one to talk to. Social services can't find a decent
place to put him.  You've got to give him a home."
     "I can't."
     "What if I helped you?"
     "Why would you do that?"
     "I like Chad."
     "You feel sorry for the crippled kid. He won't be any better
off for your pity.  I know about you hero types.  Doesn't take
long for you to get bored and move on to the next pathetic slob
to save. Besides, there's no way anyone can help him now...after
what I did to him."

     Chad tried to apply even pressure to the wheels, but it was
hard to get them over the riser in the doorway. The chair was too
big and it was hard to get leverage on the wheels.  He grunted
and pushed hard.  The chair moved, but unevenly, causing the
wheel to scrape against the polished oak on the side of the door
frame.
     "You stupid little fucker!" Mr. Henderson, his new foster
father, screamed.  The man stood so quickly his kitchen chair
flew over backwards.
     "Now, Jake," Mrs. Henderson said mildly.
     "You shut up, bitch."
     She looked down, and sighed when she realized he was going
after the boy.  She felt guilty over her sense of relief, but she
had endured many of her husband's beatings.  When they had a
foster child, he usually left her alone. And sometimes after he
beat the kids, he made love to her like an animal.  She felt a
tingle in her crotch, and instantly felt guilty about it.
     The man thundered over to Chad.  Since escape was not an
option, Chad covered his head and tried not to flinch.  Mr.
Henderson grabbed him by the hair and jerked the boy back and
forth.  "You trying to wreck my house?"
     "No, sir," he gasped.  The chair rocked from wheel to wheel
and the seat belt bit into his thighs.
     "It's this chair.  Either that or you're too stupid to learn
how to use it."  Mr. Henderson grabbed a wheel of the chair and
jerked it upward.  The chair toppled to its side.  Chad's head
slammed into the linoleum and he saw a brilliant flash of light.
The seat belt kept him trapped in place, helpless to ward off the
blows as Mr. Henderson started kicking him. The man stomped on
his left hand and ground his heel. Unable to scream, Chad
whimpered.
     Finally, he got the belt unclasped and was able to pull
himself into a fetal position, his arms pulled over his head.
Mr. Henderson grabbed the chair and carried it to the back porch.
"Till you learn how to use it right, it stays outside."  He threw
the chair off the porch.
     "Now get your crippled ass up to the table so we can say our
prayers."
     He managed to get into the chair quickly; however, the
effort caused him a lot of pain.  He sat at the table with his
head slumped, wondering if it was over.  With Mr. Henderson, some
times the beatings would go on for hours.  Sometimes they were
over in a moment or two.
     "Jake, he's bleeding."
     Chad could feel it trickle from his mouth and nose.  The
blood tasted bitter, like metal.  Mr. Henderson usually avoided
hitting him in the face. He said he didn't want the social
workers to be asking any questions.
     "First we pray."  The three of them folded their hands while
Mr. Henderson recited the ritualistic prayer, "Come Lord Jesus,
be our guest.  Let this food to us be blessed.   Amen."
     The pain in Chad's ribs didn't seem to be going away.  In
fact, it seemed to grow worse with each breath.
     "Go clean yourself up and get back here. And don't make a
mess in the bathroom."
     He slid onto the floor, leaving a trail of blood as he
crawled to the bathroom, his useless legs splayed out behind him.
He stuffed his nose with toilet paper, but the bleeding wouldn't
stop.  After over ten minutes, he finally was able to clean the
blood from his face and hands.  He got a rag from beneath the
sink and got it wet.  Cold water for blood.  That was one of the
first lessons for living in the Henderson's house.  Hot water
makes blood stain even worse. He wiped down the sink and floor
and retraced his path, wiping the blood as he went.
     When he got to the kitchen, Mrs. Henderson was at the sink
washing dishes.  Mr. Henderson sat on the glider on the back
porch smoking his evening cigar.  Mrs. Henderson said, "Honey,
sit up at the table.  I put your plate on the stove to keep it
warm."
     "Thank you, Mrs. Henderson."  Even though he didn't know how
he would be able to eat, he knew he had better because breakfast
was a long ways off.
     From the porch, Mr. Henderson called, "Feed his food to the
dog.  If the kid can't sit at the table with us, he can't eat."
     Mrs. Henderson got a sort of sick look on her face and
turned to dump Chad's plate into the dog's dish.  When she turned
around, tears glistened in her eyes.
     Softly he said, "It's okay, Mrs. Henderson.  I don't think I
could eat anyway."
     He sat at the table with his head in his hands, trying to
calm his stomach so he wouldn't vomit.  When Mr. Henderson came
in, he said, "You've been causing a lot of trouble around here,
boy.  Should I send you back?"
     "No, sir.  Please let me stay." The social worker had made
it clear that he had to get along with the Hendersons.  She said
the only other placement for him was a mental asylum, and that
terrified him.  And besides, he did scratch the woodwork because
of his clumsiness.
     "Well, I think as a punishment for scratching the woodwork,
you should sleep in the attic for a week.  Does that sound fair
to you?"
     "Yes, sir." The attic door, a square opening in the ceiling
of the hall on the second floor, had a string dangling from it.
When the string was pulled, a steep ladder, like a step ladder,
unfolded.  Chad doubted he would be able to pull himself up the
ladder.  He knew he had better be able to, or his punishment
would continue on through the night.
     At bedtime, Mrs. Henderson went upstairs pulled the string
to bring the ladder-steps down from the attic. Mr. Henderson
supervised his foster son's humiliating and painful trip up the
stairs from the first to the second floor.  His ribs hurt really
badly every time he took a breath or pressed his chest against
the edge of a step. His left hand throbbed whether he used it or
not.  It was puffy and turning a sickly shade of purple.
     Mr. Henderson stood patiently a few steps behind the boy,
occasionally nudging the boy's buttocks with his toe.  Chad tried
to just shut his mind off.  Only five more steps to go and he
would be on the second floor.  He paused, gasping for breath, and
Mr. Henderson kicked him in the butt again. Chad used the very
limited feeling in his hip joints to draw a leg up a little.
     Increasingly impatient, Mr. Henderson kicked again,
connecting his toe under the boy's crotch. Chad doubled over with
a moan, clutching his aching balls.  He slid down a step,
bringing on another kick.  The man stepped over him, grabbing his
hair on the way past.  With a firm handful of the boy's long
hair, Mr. Henderson hauled Chad to the landing at the top of the
steps.
     Mrs. Henderson was coming out of the bedroom with a pillow
and blanket in her arms.
     "Put that shit away.  The kid isn't going up there for a
slumber party.  He's being punished."   Mrs. Henderson skittered
back into the bedroom.  To Chad, he said, "Go piss, then get back
here on the double."  His belt buckle scraped noisily along the
linoleum of the hall, and he was afraid he'd get beaten again for
scratching the floor.  He knew not to close the bathroom door
because Mr. Henderson seemed to like to watch him struggle to get
onto the stool, get his pants down and relieve himself.
     After the trickle of his urine stopped, Mr. Henderson came
over to remove the boy's Converse shoes and pants, leaving his
underpants.  "Take off your shirt, too.  It's dirty in the attic
and I don't want you ruining any of your clothes."
     As he pulled his shirt off, he saw the deep bruises that had
formed over his ribs. His lip and eye felt puffy.  He hoped his
face didn't show discoloration or the lady from social services
would start asking  lot of questions.  He struggled to get his
underpants back up, then slid off the stool and onto the cool
floor.
     "Alright, you little jerk, get up to the attic."
     He knew he deserved this for insulting Tony. He had been
given one chance and he had blown it.
     The climb up the steep steps required him to hold his whole
body by his arms.  practice with an over-sized wheel chair had
helped give him stamina and strength in his arms; however, the
injury to his left hand made it hard for him to get a good grip.
After he had made it about a third of the way up, he fell
crashing to the floor. Mr. Henderson kicked his ribs a couple
times.  He made sure he didn't fall the second time.  Once he got
to the top of the stairs, there was a plywood sheet to crawl
onto.  Mr. Henderson came into the attic and shined his
flashlight around.  There were a few boxed in the cramped space.
Other than a 3 square foot piece of plywood, the attic was just
beams with wads of insulation spread between them.
     The man pointed his flashlight toward a corner were some old
scraps of plastic sheeting and a heap of insulation lay.  "Make
your bed over there."
     Crawling across the rough beams chafed and scraped at his
already punished skin.  The insulation clung to his sweaty body
and began itching immediately.  There was no air to breath and
the temperature must have been over 100 degrees Fahrenheit.  At
last, he made it to the pile of insulation and turned to face the
man.  The beam of light stayed right in his face.
     "Stay there until I come to get you in the morning.
Understand?"
     "Yes, sir."
     Almost gently, Mr. Henderson said, "Good night, Chad."
     He forced himself to sound brave.  "Good night, Mr.
Henderson."
     The door slammed shut and the darkness was complete. After
about an hour of sitting in the dark, Chad started to cry.  The
intense itching he felt all over his body was not relieved by
scratching.  Eventually he stopped sweating and the itching
lessened.  The dull throbbing ache from the injuries to his chest
and left hand kept him awake.  He tried not to think about what
his father was doing.
     He forced himself not to think about his mother--that was
too painful. Then he thought about Tony, who must have called
social services to get him placed in this foster home.  Tony had
been so kind, so loving.  Chad wished he had been able to believe
the man.  But he knew deep inside that no one would want to hang
out with a cripple.  Especially not a strong, smart man like
Tony.  Despite his resistance, an image of being cradled in
Tony's arms after a bath flooded over him. His memory provided
him with the scent of Tony's deodorant.  He sobbed out loud once,
then dug at his eyes with his fists.
     A small scratching noise came very close to him. He knew it
was a mouse. He forced himself to relax and not cry out. The
noises continued throughout the night, and though he kept waiting
to feel little claws against his bare skin, he never did.  His
stomach did not feel hunger as he would have expected from
missing dinner. Instead, it hurt as though it might burst.
     When the door opened in the morning, he scrabbled toward the
small square of light, hoping it was Mrs. Henderson.  It wasn't.
"Mrs. Henderson's sister came to take her shopping, so I took the
day off today," Mr. Henderson said with a chuckle. "All the
better to teach you a lesson."  Chad could hear the phone
ringing, but Mr. Henderson made no effort to answer it.  "Damn
bill collectors," he muttered in disgust. "Come on down to use
the bathroom."
     Mr. Henderson slapped him when he attempted to climb up the
sink.  His tongue felt swollen from thirst.  "You want a drink,
get it from the toilet like a dog."
Chad didn't care that the toilet smelled unclean.  At least it
had been flushed.  Without the use of his legs, getting his head
down into the bowl was not easy.  Once there, he had to immerse
himself, meaning he could not breathe until he brought his head
back out of the bowl.  He sputtered, but the cold water felt
wonderful across his tongue.
     Chad crawled back into the hallway, then waited for
directions from his foster father.  "Back up in the attic.
You're going to learn not to scratch the woodwork in my house,
young man."
     He fell from the steps twice, and as he faltered the third
time, Mr. Henderson put both hands on his butt and pushed him up.
"Back into your corner." Chad crawled back into the pile of
scratchy insulation.  "By the way, I threw your tennis shoes
away.  What does a cripple need with shoes?" For Chad, the pain
of losing the shoes put him over the edge.  This pain he felt in
his head belonged to someone else.  it wasn't Chad who had those
things done to him.  Chad was safe inside himself.  Some other
poor cripple had to deal with Mr. Henderson's cruelty.

     Getting Vera Milton, the county social worker, to allow Tony
to accompany Chad's father on a visit was not an easy task.  Tony
had lied and said he was a long term family friend and that he
had agreed to help Dan cut back on his drinking and become a
better father.
     Vera had tried calling the Hendersons, but there was no
answer.  "Perhaps they are at the market.  Well, it's a 30 minute
drive, so let's go.  Certainly they didn't go far with that poor
crippled boy."
     Tony bit his tongue and quietly got into the back seat.  Dan
trembled and looked to be in desperate need of a drink.  As Vera
Milton rummaged in her trunk for some paperwork, Tony said, "You
do a good job and get your boy back today, and I'll buy you a
fifth of Jim Beam."
     "It may take more than that to get me through this."
     "How about f you two came to live with me?  Rent free."
     "Why would you want to do that?"
     "I love your son."
     Vera got into the car, ending their conversation.  "Your
apartment looked much more clean when we came to inspect the last
time.  That your doing, Tony?"
     "Yes, Miss Milton.  Things are pretty tough for Dan and Chad
right now.  I'm sorry that I took so long to come to their
assistance."
     "Of course, you know that apartment is unsafe.  Why, I get
the shivers every time I visit this neighborhood."
     "Me, too," Dan agreed.  Dan looked into the back seat at
Tony.  Tony nodded. "That's why I was considering Tony's offer of
a place for me and my boy to stay.  He owns a nice home in
Jefferson Park."
     "Though she was traveling over 40 miles per hour in heavy
traffic, the shriveled woman turned to peer keenly at Tony.  "Why
would you want to open your home to a drunk and his crippled
boy?"
     Tony looked calmly at her.  "Because, Miss Milton, I care
about them."
     "Show me this home you are offering to my clients."
     He directed her to his house, wondering how clean he had
left it.  Worse, he wondered if he had left any pornographic
magazines on his bed.  As he showed her the house, he was
relieved that he had left things in pretty good shape.
     When they walked into the living room, she stopped short.
Tony was worried about what she might have seen and rushed to her
side.  She stared at the child-sized wheel chair he had left next
to the couch.
     "What is this?"
     "Um.  It was meant to be a gift for Chad.  Perhaps we could
take it with us to give to him today?"
     She frowned at Tony.  "Are you an angel, or something?
Those chairs cost a fortune."
     "I assure you I am a mortal man.  And it did cost a fortune.
It's just that he is having such a hard time getting around in
the adult sized chair."
     She poked her head into the spare bedroom again.  "You have
only two bedrooms.  What would the sleeping arrangements be?"
     Tony allowed his hopes to rise.  "I've got a twin bed in the
garage.  I thought I could put it in the corner of the living
room and put a partition up.  Chad could sleep right in the
living room.  That way it would be easier for him to get to the
bathroom and kitchen.  Do you think that would be okay? I guess
it would be better if he had his own room...Till we work
something else out, I could share my bedroom with Dan, giving
Chad a room to himself."
     "A bed in the living room sounds acceptable to me. As for
the chair, it would be best to leave it here for now.  My car is
so terribly small."
     Tony didn't let his disappointment show.  They got back into
the car and drove to the Hendersons.  Their white two story house
looked so much more respectable than Tony's little two flat.  He
felt a general sense of despair. No way was this woman going to
let Chad come to his house.  Not when he could live in luxury.
     Mr. Henderson answered the door wearing his tee shirt.
"Well, hello, Miss Milton.  It's a pleasure to see you." He
looked at the two men standing behind her.  He rubbed his
unshaven chin, knowing he was in trouble.
     "Aren't you going to ask us in?" she asked icily.
     "Of course."  He stepped back and they went into a parlor
furnished in Victorian fashion.  "Mrs. Henderson and Chad have
gone out shopping.  I don't expect them back for several hours.
Sorry."
     "We would like to talk with you for awhile.  This is Dan,
Chad's father.  And this is Tony, a friend of the family.  They
are very interested in seeing Chad.  Perhaps you could offer us a
spot of coffee?"
     "Of course.  Come on out to the kitchen.  You may have to
help me make the coffee.  My wife usually does that, you know."
     They sat around the table as Mr. Henderson shuffled about
getting the percolator and the coffee can.  "May I help?" Tony
offered.  "I'm a bachelor, so I'm used to fending for myself."
     "Sure," the man said.
      Tony thought he seemed unreasonably uncomfortable. He went
to the kitchen counter and measured coffee into the percolator.
"It's nice that you get Chad out of the house.  It's rather hard
with the wheel chair and all."
     "Oh, yes, we try to get the kid out a couple times a week."
     "As I recall," Miss Milton said suspiciously, "Mrs.
Henderson does not drive. And isn't this a work day for you Mr.
Henderson?  You said the plant couldn't run without you."
     The man looked panicked.  "Even I get the occasional day off
work, Miss Milton."
     Tony glanced out the window and gasped. "Isn't that Chad's
wheel chair?"
     "What?" The woman rose immediately and went to the back
door.  Laying on its side in the carefully trimmed grass, the
wheel chair looked like a modern sculpture.
Her cheeks flushed.  "Where is the boy?"
     "I told you, Miss Milton...."
     "Then you wouldn't mind showing us around the house?"
     Tony could tell from her reaction that something was
terribly wrong.  Chad's father asked, "What is going on?"
     "As you wish."  Mr. Henderson showed them every room
downstairs.
     "And upstairs?"  They also looked through every room
upstairs.
     "There.  You see?  I'm quite offended at your attitude, Miss
Milton."
     "Then explain why the boy' chair is in your backyard."
     "It was on the porch.  I guess the wind took it."
     "And how is the boy shopping without his chair?"
     As they descended the steps, Tony saw stains on several of
the smooth wooden risers.  He bent down.
     "What are you doing?" Mr. Henderson asked, his voice rising.
     "This is blood."  Tony stood and looked around.  He went
back to the bathroom.  There was no blood, but there was water on
the floor around the stool.  And something else. He bent down to
pick up some of the gray lint.  It was coarse, like it had
fiberglass within it.  Insulation.
     He walked back into the hall.  "Chad?" he called loudly,
then listened.
     "Now see here...." Mr. Henderson began.  Tony pushed the
man, sending him bouncing off the wall.
     "Chad!"
     They all looked toward the ceiling as there was a scratching
sound.  Tony saw the attic cord and ran to pull it.  He bolted up
the ladder.  "Chad?"
     "Tony?" came the feeble reply. Chad looked at the blinding
square of light.  Looking evanescent as an angel, Tony's head
appeared. Then strong arms lifted him and he descended into the
light.
     Tony went straight to the bathroom.  He sat on the stool,
the boy cradled in his arms, surveying the damage.  His lip had
swollen to twice its normal size.  One eye was puffy.  His ribs
had turned bright purple. His left had was swollen like an
inflated rubber glove.  Even though Miss Milton stood in the
doorway, he leaned down to kiss the boy's filthy forehead.
     "You're safe now, baby.  It's okay," he said soothingly,
rocking the injured boy gently.  Chunks of insulation stuck to
the boy's body, and the rest was smeared with grime that dried
perspiration had left.
     He looked at Miss Milton, and asked, "Would you get a glass
of water, please?"
Neither the boy's father or Mr. Henderson looked into the
bathroom.  She used the toothbrush cup.  He took it from her and
held it to Chad's lips.
     "I'm going to call the police," Miss Milton said.
     "Can I get him cleaned up?"
     "Of course."
     The police did not arrive for over a half hour.  Mr.
Henderson spent the time arguing with Miss Milton that he was
only trying to help the boy, that things had just gotten out of
hand.  When the police came, they took the statements and left.
     "That's it?" Tony asked incredulously.  "No arrest?"
     "Let's go," Miss Milton said in disgust.
     "What about Chad?"
     "He needs a doctor.  His father can stay at the doctor's
office with him while I take you home."
     Tony wanted to protest, but he knew better.
     "I'll fill out the paper work to return Chad to his father's
custody."
     Tony allowed himself to smile.
     "If, and only if, they live at your house and under your
supervision."
     "Thank you."
     Though Chad was now dressed, he still held him in his arms.
Chad looked up at Tony and asked, "Does she mean I can stay at
your house?"
     "Yes.  Both of you."
     "Tony, he threw away my shoes." Chad looked across the room
at his father, who sat with his head bowed. "Hi, Daddy."
     "Hello, Chad," the man mumbled.  "I'm sorry."
     "It's okay, Dad.  I don't hurt too bad. Are we really going
to live at Tony's house?"
     "For now."

     By 10:00 that night Dan had passed out drunk in the spare
bedroom. Tony waited until the man was asleep, then snuck into
the room and gathered the pornographic magazines from under the
bed.  He crossed the hallway to his own room with them in his
arms.  Chad, who sat in the living room, made eye contact with
him.
     He got Chad settled into the twin bed in the living room and
asked, "Can I get you anything?"
     "Tony?"
     "Yes," he said, sitting on the bed next to him.
     "You didn't call social services, did you?" Chad struggled
to understand how Tony had a small wheel chair for him.  It fit
him perfectly, and even with his left hand bandaged, he could get
around the house almost effortlessly.  What could have made Tony
buy the chair for him?  Why would anyone want to do that for him?
     "Of course not."
     He raised up on one elbow, looking keenly up into Tony's
face.  "I'm sorry I called you a liar."
     He brushed the soft black hair off of Chad's brow.  "When
did you do that?"
     Chad felt himself choking up.  "When you told me...you loved
me."
     Tony kissed his forehead and continued stroking his cheek.
"Chad, I told you I loved you as I was leaving. Of course you
didn't believe me.  That was my fault. But I do love you
completely."
     "Tony, I love you, too."
     He smiled as he stood.  "Go to sleep."
     "Can I sleep with you?"
     "That's a bad idea.  Your dad has to want to stay here.  I
don't think he'd like it if we shared a bed."
     "Maybe I could come to your bed for awhile and you could
bring me back before Dad wakes up."
     "No, Chad.  I don't want to lose you again."
     As Tony shut off the lamp, Chad asked, "What were those
books you took from Dad's room?"
     He looked sharply at the boy.  "Forget you saw them."

     But Chad didn't forget.  His body hurt, but he kept thinking
about Tony's attention after their baths.  And he kept
remembering the hot, exciting feel of the man's fat cock as he
jacked him off.  He wanted to snuggle against his strong, hairy
body again, to feel so safe and loved and happy.  And tingly.
     Tony was at work and his father was still snoring loudly
from his bedroom.  He wheeled into Tony's room, feeling guilty
for snooping, but unable to stop himself. He knew if they were on
a closet shelf, there would be no way to reach them. It took only
a few minutes to find them.
     He crawled under the bed and pulled a handful of magazines
out.  The covers  all showed boys and men together naked.  Chad
stopped long enough to adjust his erection within his trousers
before opening a magazine. It was called, "Boys Who Worship Men."
He remembered that Tony had wanted to take a picture of him
naked.  Suddenly that prospect sounded more appealing.  He looked
at dozens of pictures of boys taking men's cocks into their
mouths. In each of the pictures, a boy knelt at the feet of a
powerful man and had the huge cock in his mouth. He wondered if
Tony wanted him to do that.   It was all kind of nasty, but
still, he was very aroused as he looked at it. Then he realized
that the boys were all on their knees, something he could not do.
He quickly paged through the magazine looking for pictures that
showed boys in a position Chad was capable of assuming.  There
were none. He was disheartened.
     Then he found a magazine called "Butt Boys."  On the cover
was a picture of a huge, hairy man with his cock in the ass of a
7 or 8 year old boy.  The boy's butt looked so small and the cock
looked so huge that at first Chad thought it was fake.  As he sat
on the floor paging through the book, he realized the boys in the
photos, all of whom had men's cocks in their butts, looked like
they didn't mind.  Some even had erections. There were several
photos with boys in positions he could assume, some on their
stomachs and some on their backs with their legs pinned to their
chests.
     He heard his dad shuffling around in the kitchen and stashed
the magazines back under the bed.  When he wheeled into the
kitchen, he looked at the ghost of a man who was his father.  His
thinning hair stood in disarray over his sallow face.  He reeked
of sweat and alcohol.  Wearing only boxer shorts, he fumbled
around with the coffee percolator, his hands shaking so badly
that he spilled coffee grounds on the counter.
     "Let me do it, Dad."
     Dan stepped aside and didn't look at the boy. Chad had
watched Mrs. Henderson making the coffee, so he knew what to do.
The new chair was lower, so he had trouble reaching the counter.
Still, he managed to get the machine plugged in.  when he wheeled
around, his father was sitting at the table with his head in his
hands.
     "Do you want me to make you some breakfast?"
     "Jesus, kid, leave me alone, would you?"

     Tony came home early and bounced over to Chad.  "Here," he
said, holding out a shoe box.
     Chad opened the box, his eyes lighting up.  "Converse.
Thanks, Tony!"
     He patted the boy's shoulder and asked, "Why are converse
tennis shoes so important to you?"
     Chad looked up at him solemnly.  "When we got in the
accident, we were on the way to buy me a pair.  Mom had been
saving for months to get the money.  Dad kept finding where she
hid it."
     He knelt down and hugged the boy's head to his chest.
"Shall I put them on?"
     "Yeah. Thanks, again."
     Tony pushed Chad into the kitchen.  The boy's face remained
bruised, his lip slightly swollen.  His ribs were taped because
two had been cracked.  His left had was bandaged. Fortunately no
bones in the hand had been broken.  While Chad helped cut
vegetables, Tony turned the radio up and sang along.
     Dan came stumbling into the kitchen a moment later.  "Got
any booze?" he asked in a timid but desperate voice.
     "No.  Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.  Some real food
will make you feel better."
     "A fucking bottle will make me feel better."  He stumbled
out the back door.
     Chad called, "Where are you going?"
     "I'll be back."
     Chad looked upset, so Tony came and gently rubbed his
shoulders.
     They ate a quiet dinner, then watched television until
bedtime. Tony helped Chad get undressed down to his Sears briefs
and supervised as the boy moved himself from the chair to the
bed.
     "It's so much easier to do everything since you gave me this
chair."
     "I'm glad it's working for you."  He bent to kiss Chad's
forehead, but Chad tipped his head and their lips came together.
He raised himself in surprise and looked down at the bandaged
boy.
     "Good night, Chad."
     "Can I sleep in your room?"
     "I would really like that, but it's not worth the risk of
losing you again."
     He thought of all the porno books he'd read.  "Lust" wasn't
the right word to use.  After a moment he said, "But I'm horny."
     Tony smiled. It sounded like a peculiar thing for an 11 year
old to say.  He, of course, was very horny. "Well, maybe I could
do something to make you feel a little better."  He sat on the
bed and brought his hands to the waistband of Chad's underwear.
Chad wanted to tell him he wanted to be like the boys in the
magazines, but he couldn't find the words.  A moment later, when
he felt Tony's breath on his erection, he stopped trying to find
the words.  Tony's licking and caressing immediately produced
intense feelings, and he found himself clutching at Tony's head
as he pressed his pelvis against the man's magical lips.  The
good feelings came in waves, one after another until he felt he
might die.
     Just as suddenly as the pleasure stuck, so did the pain of
overstimulation.  "Stop!" he cried in sudden fear.
     "Are you okay?"
     "Yeah.  Great, Tony.  I just got sort of scared.  I never
felt that good before."
     Tony felt disappointed because the whole episode lasted less
than 3 minutes.  He pulled the boy's briefs back over his
erection said, "Good night, Chad."

     Chad lay awake for over two hours.  Then he slid himself
into his wheel chair and propelled himself to the bathroom.  He
had a difficult time peeing because he was hard.  Instead of
pulling his briefs back up, he slid them off.
     Being as careful as possible, he gently wheeled himself into
Tony's room. The shades had been left partially open and greenish
light from a street lamp softly illuminated the bed. Tony lay on
his back in the middle of the double bed, his torso partially
covered by the sheet. Chad wheeled himself as close as possible
and slid the sheet back. Tony was naked and his fat cock lay
sideways across his thick pubic hair.
     By leaning his chest against the edge of the bed, Chad was
able to touch the spongy shaft.  He gently groped his way down to
feel Tony's balls.  He couldn't believe their size. They dangled
so low they nearly touched the bed.
     He lifted Tony's cock, squeezing it a little and tugging a
little.  Just as the first blood started to engorge his cock,
Tony awoke.  "Chad?"
     Chad didn't remove his hand, but he froze.
     After a moment, Tony said, "That feels good."
     Chad continued to play with the stiffening dick for a few
moments, then he let go of it to pull his chest onto the bed.  He
wiggled forward until his hips connected with the edge of the
bed.  He could feel the pressure of his weight on his legs, but
he had little control over them.  By stretching himself, his face
was poised directly over Tony's cock.
     He licked it, producing a contented sigh from Tony.  That
encouraged him to lick some more.  It had a strong meaty smell
and tasted salty.  He licked all around the helmet-shaped glans,
laving his tongue across the man's seeping urethra.
     Tony brought his hand down to stroke Chad's back. Within a
minute, he had found the soft, shapely contours of the boy's
buttocks.  When he slid his hand along the crack, Chad lifted his
head and said, "That feels good."
     As his glans repeatedly disappeared into the 11 year old's
eager mouth, Tony explored the sticky little anal opening. He
licked his finger and spread his saliva around the puckered
tissue.  Chad wished he could wiggle his hips more, but since the
accident that was not easy to do.
     Soon the finger moved in rhythm to Chad's bobbing head.  The
insistent pressings of Tony's finger served to push Chad's
erection into the mattress.  He wished the feeling would last
forever.
     Tony whispered urgently, "Better move back, I'm going to
cum."
     Chad kept right on working.  He'd read enough novels and
seen enough of Tony's magazines to know that eating semen
wouldn't hurt you. Still, when Tony's hips involuntarily thrust
upwards, the cock went too deep and he gagged.  A moment later,
his gagging changed to sputtering as his mouth was flooded with
cum.  Just as he swallowed, another spurt filled his mouth.  He
continued to labor over the glans, sucking at it to give Tony the
most pleasure he could.
     After a moment, Tony effortlessly hauled the boy up across
his body.  Chad contentedly lay his cheek on the man's hairy
pectoral.  He tried to part his legs further when Tony's finger
returned to his anus.  "You like touching me there, don't you?"
     "Yes.  Is it okay?"
     "Sure. Do you think you could fit your thing in there?"
     "What?"
     "Sometimes men put their things in a boy's butt. I read it
in one of my dad's books." He didn't mention the magazines hidden
under the bed.
     "I remember.  Something about Ben Franklin and a cabin boy."
     "Would yours fit in me?"
     The finger plunged deeper.  "You would let me do that?"
     "Well, sure."
     "It might hurt."
     Chad thought about Mr. Henderson, the helpless feeling of
laying on the floor while the man kicked him again and again.
That had hurt, but the worst part was the man's anger and his
fear that things were out of control.  He loved and trusted Tony.
Quietly he said, "I think I can handle a little pain."
     Tony nuzzled against the boy's graceful neck. "But I don't
think I can handle giving you any pain."  He stuck his tongue in
Chad's ear, and the boy giggled. Tony pressed forward with his
finger again, savoring the hard pressure of the boy's erection
against his abdomen.  Though his anus clung with incredible
tightness, the boy didn't seem to be experiencing any discomfort
from his probing.  Plus, he wasn't clamping down in the finger as
though trying to protect himself.
     Tony felt his cock rise to a higher position on his thigh.
It grew long enough to touch the inside of Chad's thigh, and when
the boy felt it he reached between their bodies to grasp it.
     Tony said, "Well, maybe with enough lubrication and if I go
slowly enough...."
     "Do it."
     Tony excused himself and went to the kitchen to grab the can
of Crisco.  He'd heard that the cooking fat was a good sexual
lubricant.  He had also heard that Vaseline worked, but he didn't
have any.  When he returned to the bedroom, he found Chad laying
face down with his legs apart.  He set the Crisco on the night
stand and lay down next to the 11 year old.  He turned Chad onto
his side so they lay in an embrace, both of them facing toward
the wall.  His fat erection pressed against the amazingly soft
flesh of the boy's slender buttocks. He rubbed Chad's chest,
pausing long enough to scrape his fingernail gently across his
oversized nipples.
     The boy murmured his appreciation, and they both moved with
slow sensuality against the cotton sheets.  Because it was the
middle of the night when the rest of the world was asleep, there
was a dream-like quality to their embrace.  Tony caressed the
boy's 2-1/4 inch erection with slow, light touch of his
fingertips.  His own cock, which had given him a powerful orgasm
less than 10 minutes earlier, ached slightly.
     He moved the Crisco onto the bed where he could reach it
more easily, and rubbed a fingerful of the white goo into the
boy's cleft.  As he did this, he nibbled at Chad's ear. Chad had
never felt this way, his body being slowly but deeply pleasured
while his mind remained so calm.  Before when he was being
stimulated, it was intense and kept building in intensity until
something snapped and his hips started to twitch.  He remembered
watching how his mother had showered their cat with affection,
and how the cat had leaned her body against the gently stroking
hand. He felt sort of like the cat.
     He drew his breath in a little quickly as he felt a pressure
against his butt hole.  At first he thought it was happening,
that Tony was sticking his dick inside.  Then he realized that
Tony had two fingers inside him.
     "Just relax," Tony said when he felt the boy's muscles
clench down protectively. Chad's hair smelled like flowers, and
he rubbed his nose into the soft locks at the back of his head.
And the boy did relax, which encouraged him to work the fingers
in a slow circle.
     "It feels good," the boy whispered in a slowly released
breath.
     Tony felt ready to proceed but was uncertain if he should
continue to relax the boy or if he should try to arouse him to
the edge of orgasm.  He removed his fingers to again caress
Chad's erection.  The boy said, "I'm ready."
     The invitation was too sweet to pass by.  He lubricated his
cock with Crisco and used his hand to guide it to the boy's anus.
He pushed Chad's top leg over further, giving him wider access to
his cleft.  When his glans touched the hot orifice, they both
moaned.  Tony again brought his lips to nibble at Chad's ear.
     "I love you, Chad."
     "I love you, too, Tony."
     He slid over to kiss the boy full on the lips. Chad opened
his mouth to accept Tony's velvety tongue. Since they were both
on their sides, they had to crane their necks to keep their lips
in contact.  Tony broke the kiss and rubbed his cock across the
slick opening a couple of times.
     "Just keep relaxing, honey.  Don't tense up or it will hurt
worse."  He pressed harder and harder until he felt the flesh
give way, accepting his cock inside.  With the first penetration,
he paused and brought his slick hand around to Chad's genitals.
Chad's erection had vanished completely.
     Chad moaned softly but did not cry out.  He concentrated,
trying to fight against the impulse to squeeze down on the cock.
When he realized it wasn't going to hurt very much, he managed to
push back against the cock a little, welcoming it inside.  Tony
felt the boy's anus open up to him and pressed forward a little
further.
     "It feels so good," he whispered in the boy's ear.
     Chad responded by pushing back against the invading cock
once again. Tony released his limp little cock, knowing the boy's
arousal against this onslaught was too much to hope for.
     Time seemed to float away without meaning as he explored the
boy's body with his hand.  Small movements of their hips kept his
cock tingling with sensation.  Ever so slowly, he worked his cock
deeper and deeper.
     "Making love has never felt this good."
     Chad raised his head.  "Is that what we're doing? Making
love?"
     "Don't you think so?"
     "Yes," he said, feeling proud and content.  "Yes, I do."
     He felt himself go in all the way. Pressure from contact
with the boy's butt made his balls give off a warm feeling that
suffused his entire body.  Tony knew that if he hadn't just
orgasmed in the boy's mouth a few minutes earlier, he would not
have been able to stave off his orgasm now. They were joined
together and he knew they both wanted it this way.
     He eased the pressure off for a moment without really
withdrawing.  Then he pressed himself forward again.  The boy
made an inarticulate sound.  "Are you okay?"
     "Yeah.  That felt great."
     Tony did it again.  And again.  His hand trailed down the
boy's stomach until his fingers grasped Chad's cock.  It had
returned to full erection. He felt the slender body tremble from
the contact.
     He slowly lengthened his stokes and increased their
frequency.  At the end of each gentle thrust, he felt the
pressure on his balls.  The boy's rectum, though still tight, had
a more elastic quality about it.  He slowed the pace of his
thrusting and lengthened the stroke, experimenting.
     Chad's body stiffened, and Tony realized the boy had
orgasmed.  He could feel the contractions of the sphincter
against his cock.  Remembering the boy's post-orgasmic
sensitivity, he released the boycock and began caressing the
length of his torso.
     He went back to deep penetration and shallow strokes,
feeling a slow-building pressure in his groin.  They continued to
writhe sensuously together for a long time.  After several
minutes, Chad, whose breathing was shallow and irregular, took
Tony's hand and guided it to his straining cock.  Tony felt the
Chad's renewed passion and wondered at the sexual energy of the
boy.
     Since Tony knew he was dangerously close to orgasm himself,
he slowed his motions and concentrated on stimulating the
miniature glans beneath the pads of his thumb and forefinger.
Chad's body became restless, grinding against him within the
limitations of his disabled legs.
     Like the sound train from a far distance, he felt the
beginning of what was inevitably to be his climax.  It built
through several strokes, and as it increased in intensity, the
strokes became more abrupt with less pause between them.  He
fought against the impulse to clench his fists for fear of
crushing the boy's penis.
     Like lightning in his brain, his body convulsed as it
propelled his first dollop of semen into the boy's body. He had
no control over his hips for the next several seconds as they
crackled with sexual electricity.
     When his body returned to stasis, he became aware that Chad
was tugging on his hand.  He let go quickly, knowing Chad had
just achieved a second orgasm.  Without withdrawing himself, he
pulled the boy's head around to bring their lips together.  The
kiss was long and slow.
     He released Chad's cheek and drew his knees up, cradling the
boy's back against his sweaty stomach and chest.  "I love you so
much." He brought his cheek against Chad's ear and they lay
together in silence.
     After a time, he noticed tears gently wetting the boy's
cheeks.  "What's wrong?" he asked.
     "Nothing," Chad said in a full voice.  It sounded loud and
angelic as it shattered the near silence of the darkened room.
"Since Mom died...I just never thought..." He paused to sniffle,
"that I'd ever be happy again."
     Tears rose in Tony's eyes, too.  "And in my wildest dreams I
never thought I could be this happy."

The End