Chapter 9: Feelings

Dean was quite apprehensive as he went upstairs to his brother's room. The room door wasn't locked. He entered the room to find that Jake has been sitting on his bed staring floor blankly. He didn't even notice his brother entering the room. Dean was tense at this point.

"Jake?"

Jake lifted up his head slowly.

"Is something wrong? Mom said you were looking for me"

"It's nothing, can you please let me be alone for some time?"

Dean came in and sat near Jake and put his hand on his shoulder.

"Jake? Come on, you can tell me. We are brothers, right? I will listen"

Jake looked at him and hugged him tightly. Dean caressed his brother's back trying to calm him down.

"It is okay, you can tell me whatever is on your mind, I promise to take care of it. I am your big brother after all, right?"

"Hmmm.."

"Then, what is bothering you so much?"

"I told you about Corey and me the other day right, After that, I thought things would be normal between us, and they were until today when he..."

"When he..?"

"Dean, promise that you won't tell anyone what I am about to tell, okay?"

"Jake, have I ever even once broke my promises with you? Besides whom I would even tell this? I promise it would be forever, or for as long as you like, between just the two of us. "

"Today I went to his home, and everything was okay at first. We played some games in his room, talked a bit about stuff to do tomorrow. But later that afternoon, he told me we should take a quick nap as he was tired. I wasn't sure, but I went with it. He had only a single bed but suggested that we could squeeze in just right if we tried. I don't know when I fell asleep but when I woke up... Corey ... he was sucking my dick. I told him to stop, but he didn't listen. Then he rubbed some cream type thing all over my dick, and before I could say something he just rested his butt hole on top of it. And... we had sex. After I had had my cum in him, he stated that he would like to ... you know fuck me. I was scared, and after packing my things up, I rushed out of his house."

Dean was attentively listening to all the details, and his own cock was pressing hard against his shorts."Fuck!, he has already lost his virginity, and that too completely unexpectedly?" "But I must explain him that it is all.. but how? No, the more important issue is am I even the right person to handle this situation, am I mature enough to even say anything sensible? But he has come specifically to me, I can't do nothing about it. I will try to calm him somehow, but shit! he already has fucked... what about me, my dignity?" Dean thought as Jake finished the last part.

"Jake, can you really say that you did everything to stop Corey and he still didn't? Can you say that you were not an active participant in the entire ordeal? I will get to the point, can you say that you didn't like it?"

There was momentary silence. The thing is, that Jake liked it and he wasn't sure whether telling this would be okay. "What am I asking? Isn't it obvious that he enjoyed it? He received a blowjob, and to top it he even got an ass to fuck, how lucky can you even get?" Dean thought.

"No, I didn't stop him hard enough, because in the back, my mind and my body were enjoying it too much. In fact, I was loving it, it was the first sex I had. But when I realized that it was with a guy and that too with my friend Corey no less, I couldn't believe myself. I thought that it is all weird, how can I enjoy it so much with a guy? Aren't you supposed to do this with girls?"

"Look Jake, while you were .. well fucking Corey, you enjoyed it right? And you enjoyed the blowjob equally, there is no way you can deny this. Let us face facts here, see, I doubt any boy would have felt different than you if he were in your shoes. Plus, we really can't do anything now, what has happened has happened right?"

"Jake, it is not easy identifying where your sexual interest lies, it may be that you just enjoyed this with Corey at the spur of moment, or maybe you honestly did like it. To be honest Jake, I myself don't know whether I am the right person to discuss this with you. Our choices, are ours alone, they maybe right, maybe wrong, no one can tell but for the time. But remember this, I will always love you and respect your choice, whichever way they go, as you grow. I will still care for you as much as I do now, got it?" Dean said as he gently caresses his brother's back.

Jake hugged his brother tightly. "Dean, you are the best brother anyone can have, I love you"

Dean hugged him back, "And you are the best for me, I am glad you came to me like that. If you have any doubt over something again, you can always count on me, okay? That is one of the responsibilty I must take, I didn't have anyone I could talk to when I was your age so I kept everything to myself. But you have me, I won't ever let you suffer alone. "

"Hmm..." Jake said sobbing slightly.

"That is rare Jake, you promised to never cry in front of others"

"You are different than others Dean, I feel I can be true and open to you, and you alone. Never betray me please"

"Like I will, you are the sweetest thing in my life, I am proud to be your brother," Dean said as he ruffled his brother's hairs. "Now, now calm down, otherwise you will have snot on my shirt"

Jake laughed at this.

"Good, feeling better?" Dean asked

"Loads"

"Wanna play a game on my laptop?"

"Really?"

"Of course, come right in. Wait I will give you a call from my room when everything is set up, right?"

"Okay!" Jake said as he smiled and gave Dean a short kiss on his cheeks.

"I thought you were too embarrassed for this type of stuff, was I wrong?"

"Only if someone is seeing us, I love you, so it is okay"

"That is cute, I love you too" Dean said as he too quickly kissed Jake's cheek.

"Okay Jake, we are going to have lots of fun tonight, so much that you will forget everything about today's afternoon"

"I am looking forward to it"

Dean got up and smiled at his brother before leaving the room.

"It is good that he has calmed down, I was slightly concerned whether I would be able to handle it, but I guess I did a decent job. Amn't I good at this? But that laptop thing was close call, I still haven't closed all porn tabs in it. I really need to clean it out before we can start." Then suddenly Dean realized he had a boner, "When did I get this?" "Must have been because of what went with Jake, fuck! I need to collect myself and get rid of it" he thought as he closed his own room door.

That night both Jake and Dean enjoyed a great dinner together.

"Well, that is a rare sight, aren't you two getting along quite well today?" said their mother eyeing through her glasses slightly slid down.

"No, it's nothing" Jake said as they both passed smiles to each other.

"That reminds me, Jake, what were you looking Dean for this evening?"

Dean interjected, "His favorite sneakers mom!, he thought that I had hidden them somewhere"

"Is that so?... Jake?" she said with a slight frown.

"Ye... Yes, I couldn't find them today in my room, I thought Dean might be playing with me"

"Well, I don't know whether you are telling truth or lie, but I am really glad that you both are getting along." So did you both enjoy the meal?"

"Very much" they both said in unison

"Thank you"

After dinner, the boys went to Dean's room and played some arcade games online.

"Man!, that was close"

"As if you will ever beat me"

"Once more, please Dean"

"Nope, it is way past your bedtime, besides I am really tired. We can do this tomorrow again, okay?"

"I suppose, but it was fun!"

"I am glad you enjoyed it"

"Good night Dean," Jake said as he got up from the bed and kissed his brother.

"Sweet, Good night Jake" Dean replied. Jake left the room and Dean was on his own again.

"This was tiring, I haven't played that much for a long time, but I am happy Jake enjoyed it. It is nice to spend some quality time with him once in a while, he is such a sweet brother. It will take some time for me to forget that he just fucked someone a few hours ago." "Anyway, I should check my facebook for messages," he thought and typed in. The blue screen appeared before him, "2 notifications, 2 new messages? Andy?" "I totally forgot about him, but Friday is still a day from now," he thought as he proceeded to open the messages.

"Hey!, It appears that we didn't fix a time for our meeting. If it would be cool with you, you can go ahead, I don't mind" "I hope you haven't forgotten about it"

"Now that I look back, we didn't really set any time. And since he has left it up to me, I guess I have a small advantage here."

"3 in the afternoon seems fine!" he typed in. Shortly followed a ping. "Cool!, see you at 3 in the cafeteria" reply said.

"Geez! is he always active?" he thought as he saw the green dot near Andie's name in his messenger window. Then he saw 3 dots appear in the window. "He is typing something?" he thought. Then the dots stopped and green light vanished. "Strange!"

"I am spent for today, tomorrow I have to tell Keith that I will have a busy Friday, I wonder how he will respond." Dean thought and went to sleep.

It was around 2 that Dean thought he heard something. He woke up abruptly to see a medium sized figure standing near his bed.

"What the fuck?" he cried

"Shhh... it is me, Jake"

"Jake? what are you doing here" he checked the phone, "Jesus, it is 2, what's the matter?"

"Can I sleep with you?, I was feeling lonely in my room" Dean came to his senses "Sure Jake, come in!"

Jake laid down and put his hands on Dean's chest.

"Why were you feeling lonely?"

"Well, I woke up to pee, and then I thought all that had happened today. And then I realized that I will have to talk to Corey about all this. He has been my best friend you know"

"I know, he has been with you since your first grade right?"

"Yeah, and when I thought we might no longer be friends, I felt sad"

"Jake, you will still be friends, trust me. Do you want to break with him?"

"I want to talk with him"

"That is probably the correct course for both of you. I think this time, I will let you handle it, after all you know Corey better than anyone else right?"

"Hmmmm.."

"For now, we should drift back to sleep, we will talk about it in the morning"

"Okay!" Jake said as he came a bit closer to Dean. He smiled and went back to sleep. Dean was not too behind him.

The morning came quickly, screeching sun blaring outside in a red hue. Dean opened his eyes and found that Jake had been snuggled upto him. He could feel that Jake had a boner. He had his own morning wood. He cautiously removed his brother's hands from him and went to toilet. After coming back he looked back at Jake. "He looks so peaceful when sleeping, I guess I better start with my plans for the day" he thought as he went to bath.

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