Date: Tue, 30 Jul 2019 21:13:06 +0000
From: destabilizer15 <destabilizer15@protonmail.com>
Subject: "Young Lovers," Chapter 36

Chapter 36

A few minutes had passed.  Joon was in the shower and Parker and I had
moved into the bedroom.  We lay facing each other, my hand occasionally
caressing his sweaty forearm.

"How you doing?"  I asked softly.

The boy blinked.  "I, uh . . . I feel great!"  He smiled, as if baffled.

"You gotta admit, as big a jerk as he can be, Joon's a helluva fuck!"

Parker swallowed and nodded, still with a baffled little smile.  "He was
violent!"

"And you liked it!"

"I guess. I think . . . I just liked -- I don't know -- how strong he was,
or something."

"Actually you're a lot stronger than he is, I bet."

"Well, maybe not strong.  He's just so . . . "

"Forceful?  Dominating?"

"He's . . . he's like a man, not a boy!"

"Hmmm," I murmured.  There was a lot to that, for sure.

"So, not to bring up a bad memory, but -- what were you so upset about when
you got home yesterday?  That kinda got lost in all the sex."

"Oh yeah.  Well, I went to the gym like they told me to to meet with this
Gino guy, cause he was gonna give me a workout plan, I guess everybody gets
one here, and I was thinking, well, he's gonna really think my muscles are
really good and I was feeling all like proud of myself and stuff, and I
thought maybe I'm just gonna have to like keep up my regular workout, with
curls and weighted crunches and bench and all that and, and, NO, he -- he
HATES my body, he tells me I work out all wrong, my arms are too big, and
like he hates my abs most of all, he says I'm way too worked out, that the
guys who come here, the customers, they don't want, they don't want
somebody who looks like a freak . . ."  Parker's eyes suddenly welled with
tears.

"It's like the first thing I ever did that was good that made me hot, that
made me feel like, I don't know, a normal guy only maybe better or
something and now he tells me no, I'm a freak just like I always thought I
was . . . "  Tears were rolling down his cheeks now.

"Aw, Parker," I murmured, drawing him to me in a tender embrace.  My heart
filled with compassion for this poor boy, who seemed to try so hard but
never do anything right.  As I held him he drew several deep, wracking
breaths, and his warm, sticky body shuddered and then shook as he sobbed
silently.

After a couple of minutes Parker seemed to calm down.  We went back to
lying face to face.

"So let's think about this, Parker," I said.  "You had a plan for how to
get a great body, and you followed your plan.  You were really dedicated.
You wanted to look good.  Why, exactly?"

The boy blinked at me, surprised by my question.

"Well, um . . . I guess so men would think I was really hot.  So they'd
want me."

"Mm-hmm.  But I think maybe there's something else too.  I'll bet getting
the body you have now changed your self-confidence."

"My . . . self-confidence?  I . . . I guess it made it better."

"Sure it did.  Like, have you been to the beach, or someplace other people
could see you with your shirt off?"

"Um, not really.  At the gym a couple times."

"You're kidding!  You mean to tell me that with a body like that you didn't
even show it off a little bit?"

He looked sheepish.  "I guess not.  Well, there was this one time . . . "

"Yeah?  Tell me about it."

"At school.  In P.E.  I had a gym teacher that was, well, I thought he was,
you know, hot, I know that probably seems weird thinking your teacher is
hot, I would never let anybody know that, you're the first person I've
told, lots of people would probably think that's weird or kinky or
something, and I guess maybe it is and it's dumb to think that he'd be,
like interested in me or something, but I really liked him, I thought he
was so hot, I'd like sit in my other classes and fantasize about him and
stuff, but every--"

My kiss stopped him.  I then drew back.

"Oh yeah," he muttered.  "Sorry, I think it's when I get excited or worried
or something is when I do that, like when I'm talking about something that
gets me kinda nervous, like what are people gonna think--"

I put my hand over his mouth.

"Remember?" I said.  "You talk, then I talk, then you talk, back and forth?
Conversation?"

He smiled sheepishly.  "Sorry."

"So here's my comment," I continued.  "I think it's totally normal for
kids, gay or straight, to fantasize about teachers.  As a matter of fact I
know a kid right here at Young Lovers who had sex his very first time with
his teacher!  In the eighth grade!"

Parker looked shocked.  "No!"

"I think somewhere you got used to the idea that you're different or weird,
and so then every time you feel or think anything that doesn't seem to be
like everybody else you get down on yourself.  In a lot of ways you're more
normal than you think."

Parker blinked and was quiet a moment.  Finally, he said softly, "I kinda
wish that was true."

"So what was this incident with the gym teacher?"

"Oh, it was so stupid.  I pretended I twisted my ankle when he was right
near me.  We were playing basketball and he was right at the sideline
watching.  First I took off my gym shirt, you know, so he could see -- how
I looked.  Then I pretended to fall and I was laying on the ground, and I
kind of laid out right in front of him, like as if I was on a bed and he
was gonna--oh it's so stupid, it's--"

"It's not stupid at all.  You were hot for him and you couldn't think of
any other way to get him to notice your body.  You just flirted with him a
little.  Not a bad trick at all, actually."

"Well, it didn't work.  He barely looked at me.  He just had a couple of
kids take me to the office to get my ankle looked at.  Which was
embarrassing because there was nothing wrong with it.  In the office they
thought I was trying to get out of class."  He shook his head as people do
revisiting a bad memory.

"Anyway, back to yesterday," I said.  "So you were pretty upset when Gino
didn't like what you've done with your body.  I think that's partly because
your body's the one thing you've done in your life that you're really proud
of, something you were really successful at -- you thought.  I'm sure when
you walked around school or the mall or whatever you felt confident, proud.
So when he rejected it, its like -- there goes my self-confidence, my
self-esteem.  Right?"

The boy blinked.  "Um -- I guess, yeah."

"Anyway, did Gino give you a workout plan?  Did he tell you what he wanted
to do with your body to make it, you know, what he thought guests would
really want?"

`Well, yeah, he typed up some stuff, but mostly I'm not supposed to do
anything!  I'm not allowed to go to the gym more than once or twice a week,
and when I do I'm s'posed to do real light weights!  And no ab stuff at
all!  I don't get it!"

"I think I do.  Let me see if I can make some sense to you.  So you like
men, right?  What's your ideal guy's body like?"

Parker looked around a bit nervously.  "Well, he's, you know, buff.  Big
muscles, big -- everywhere."

"Un-huh.  That's pretty common.  See, once again, you're pretty normal!
Big and muscular -- so you naturally figure that's what's hot, you wanna be
hot too, so you went for big muscles yourself, right?"

"Well, yeah, doesn't that make sense?"

"It does, except for one little problem.  It's a little problem that has
been confusing lovers since, oh, probably the dawn of time."

"What?"

"Opposites attract."

The boy blinked and was silent.

"Here's the way I see it.  You're a boy.  You feel like a boy inside.  You
feel young, immature sometimes, a little uncertain, like you need somebody
stronger than you to rely on sometimes.  Older and wiser.  More confident.
Right?"

The boy swallowed and looked at me.

"But what about those guys who are older and more confident?  What do they
want?  I've noticed that lots of guys who are older and stronger don't want
to have lovers who are like that too.  They've already got that in
themselves!  What they want is a younger, more boyish guy to give their
strength to!  See -- opposites!"

Parker still said nothing, but he was hanging on every word.

"This is my theory: our appearance, how our bodies look, is important
because it communicates who we are sexually, in a way.  It communicates if
we're a boy who needs a man or a man who needs a boy."

Parker looked at me in wonder.  "It's like a symbol!"

"Yes, exactly!"

"So all the time I was getting buff I was getting a body that -- that
doesn't symbolize me at all!"

"Yes!  The guys who come to Young Lovers want boys!  They don't want sex
with guys who have "man bodies!"  They could get man bodies to have sex
with back where they came from, and save a lot of money!  They want sex
with boy bodies!

Parker swallowed.

"Let me give you an example of how it works.  So Joon here is naturally
very skinny.  But he's started to work out regularly, and he's actually
gained quite a lot of muscle recently.  Sexually he's like a man, in a way
-- you said it yourself And he's kind of a man in his personality too.
Being the strong, confident one is natural for him, even though he's still
real young.  So a skinny boy-body is all wrong for him.  Actually, I have a
feeling he hates to work out, but I think he does it because he feels like
his natural body doesn't fit him sexually at all.  It doesn't symbolize
him."

Parker nodded slowly.  "OK, but if he's naturally, like, a man, why is he
your boy?  That's what you said he was, right?  Shouldn't he have, like,
his own boy?"

"He does!  Johnny!"

"OH!"  Parker thought some more.  "But you guys have sex!  I don't get it!"

"Joon is still discovering who he is sexually and emotionally.  At first he
was very drawn to me, I think mostly because he needed my strength, my
confidence, my "man-ness" in order to find his own.  But now, more and
more, he's finding it.  And so he has more and more sex with Johnny and
less and less with me.  Eventually he'll be -- done with me."

Parker stared at me, and for the first time I saw a kind of insightfulness
in his gaze.  "But you -- I can tell you, um --"

"I what?"  I thought I knew where he was going but I wanted to hear it.

"You, um, have strong feelings for him, seems like . . . "

"I love him, Parker," I said softly.

"Oh."  Parker swallowed, and something unreadable passed over his face.

"I love lots of people!" I said briskly.  I didn't want the boy's pity.

"Do you think maybe someday I'll feel like -- like I'm a man who wants a
boy too?"

"Maybe.  Some guys change with age, some don't.  Some guys can be like
eighty years old and still feel like a boy who needs a man."

"Is that bad, do you think?  Like, unhealthy?"

"Parker, some of the finest, most loving, most creative people I've known
have been what you could call `eternal boys.'  If they're unhealthy then
all human beings are unhealthy!"

Parker blinked, absorbing all this.

Joon now came into the room from his shower, naked, drying his hair, and
plopped down on the edge of the bed.  Parker turned to him.  Joon made eye
contact.  Would he reach out?

After a couple of seconds Joon asked, "How ya doing?"  It was about as
un-Joon a thing as I'd ever heard from his lips.  I didn't know whether I
was more proud or amused.

"Um, fine."  Parker's eyes darted about.  He was obviously afraid of Joon.

Joon rubbed his hair vigorously.  "You did a good job.  You're gonna be
good at fucking."

Wow, I thought.

"Um, thanks."

I decided to strike while the iron was hot.

"Joon, how are you feeling now about Parker staying with us for awhile?  I
know you had your doubts at first."

For most people this would have been unfair pressure, with Parker sitting
right next to us, listening.  But Joon was completely capable of
disapproving in no uncertain terms even with the boy right there, if that
were how he felt.

"I just didn't know if we'd all fit," Joon lied casually.  "Seems like it's
worked out OK.  It's a huge bed."

"Yeah -- five in one bed!" I smiled.

"We're all small except you," Joon snorted, getting up to rummage in the
dresser for some clothes.  He slipped into gym shorts and a tight t-shirt.

He looked at Parker.  "I'm gonna go work out.  You wanna come?"

Parker blinked, completely nonplussed.  "Um, OK, but I'm not really
supposed to work out that much."

"Why not?"

"They say I'm -- too buff!"

"Gino said once a week is OK," I pointed out.  "Go on now.  Just light
weights."

Joon looked at Parker.  "You comin'?"

Parker scrambled out of bed.  "Sure, just let me, um, get some clothes
. . . "

The boy began rushing into some of the clothes he'd just gotten from
Mr. Brown.  Joon watched him with a look that was less contemptuous than
mildly incredulous, as Parker managed to first put his T-shirt on inside
out, then stumble and almost fall as he hurried into his briefs.  Joon and
I exchanged glances.  I gave him a wink of approval.  Joon, as always,
looked away, expressionless.

*********************************

The next day was to be Parker's first school day.  I rousted him awake last
-- Joon, Johnny and Johnny's little friend Joe had already left for
breakfast.

I scratched his wild red head as he buried his face in his pillow and
rubbed it back and forth.

"Whatsamatter, don't wanna go to school?" I chuckled, caressing his neck.

The boy looked at me and blinked.  "Umm, I don't know."  He sighed.  "I
guess I'm -- I dunno, nervous or something, I was kinda nervous last night,
you didn't notice cause you were already asleep but it took me a real long
time to get to sleep, I kept thinking about today, and how I always used to
get so nervous on the first day of school, I always wondered if, you know,
if I'd make any friends or if people would be nice, you know the teachers
and the other kids, and I guess I'm sorta still feeling like that,
everybody here already knows everybody and I'm new, and--"

I plastered my lips forcefully over his.  Then, instead of breaking the
kiss as I usually would I gently rolled him over, eased myself on top if
him, and then, still nibbling and sucking on his lips, I began to move my
erection forward and back against the boy's belly.  Gasping into my mouth
he wrapped his arms around me and began kissing me back.

After another minute of this I rose up onto my knees and, straddling his
hips and still kissing him, I continued hunching my cock against his belly.
My fingers glided through his hair time and time again, caressing, gently
clutching, lightly scratching.

"God I love your hair," I whispered.

"You do?" he muttered against my cheek.

I stopped hunching and reached down and grabbed his cock.

"I love your cock too.  It's so big and thick and hot."  I rubbed my thumb
roughly over his glans again and again.

I stared deeply into his azure eyes from just a foot or so away.  He
blinked rapidly, wide-eyed, like a small kid at a circus.  Everything was
so new to him.  He hunched his cock into my palm over and over.

I raised up more onto my knees, leaned my hips forward, rested one hand
against the headboard, and pressed my cock against the underside of his
bigger, thicker one.  I grasped them both in my fist, pressing them firmly
together.  I slowly began stroking them both at once.  My eyes bored into
his.

I could see his face submitting to the pleasure, his eyes submitting to my
stare.  He breathed heavily, his mouth half open.  His hips squirmed
slightly, as he pressed his cock impatiently against my cock.

We kept this up for a few minutes.  Parker's cock was blazing hot.  He
licked his lips and thrust against my cock harder now, more recklessly.  A
blush came over his chest and shoulders -- a blush, I knew, that
light-skinned people often have right before orgasm.

I pulled away and sat back on my heels.  Still boring into him, I asked,
"What do you want, Parker?"  I thought I knew what the answer would be -- I
thought he would say sex, or maybe "fellatio," or "intercourse" or
something dorky like that.  But he surprised me.

His hunching movements stopped.  Swallowing hard, licking his lips,
blinking, he was struggling with what he wanted to say.  I waited.

"I want to be your boy too."

In that moment all kinds of things surged through me.

"Wow," I replied, still holding his gaze.  I slid to the side and lay down
next to Parker.  He turned to face me, and our eyes locked again.  His
expression was so vulnerable, so hopeful.  His need for me -- for someone
-- was so evident.  We were silent.

I had felt a wave of admiration surge through me -- admiration that Parker
nakedly admitted his need.  Admiration for his courage, despite his history
of rejection by other people.  I was overwhelmed now with compassion as I
saw both hope and fear in the undefended openness of his gaze, and realized
that, once again, the boy was trying, trying his best.

I reached forward and grabbed his big cock again in my fist and squeezed.
I felt my desire to exclaim `YES!" at the top of my lungs, and yet
something told me the answer needed to be no.  It was true, I felt worry at
how Joon would react to something like that.  And yet there was something
else too.  I just wondered . . .

I decided to share how I felt, but I didn't want to make him feel in any
way rejected.

"That's a huge honor, Parker," said softly, caressing his cock.  "A huge
honor.  I would say yes in second, except . . . ."

The boy swallowed.  My heart broke as I could see I had crushed him with my
"except."  Crushed as I was sure he had been crushed so many times before.
In that split-second I made up my mind that this time, it would be
different.  This time he would not feel rejected.

I caressed his cheek, leaned forward and kissed him tenderly.  "You're so
sweet, so beautiful.  But I just wonder if I'm really the one you need, or
if you've simply latched onto me because I'm here and you're so -- so ready
for a deep bond with someone."

His sky-blue eyes seemed to be craving understanding and approval.  "You
don't -- you don't think I'm, I'm good enough?" he stammered.  Tears formed
in his eyes.  "I'm not, like, what you want?"

"Oh, baby." I caressed him again. "It's not about you!  When someone says
no to you about something it's not always because there's something wrong
with you!  Sometimes it's them!  Joon is my boy.  I don't -- I can't give
you the deep attention, the time, all the things you need from a man while
I have him."

"I thought -- I thought you said you, you know, love lots of people."

"I do!  I do!  But that's different.  I love Johnny, I love a boy here
named Donte, and a boy named Jack, and Kip and Alric and more -- and you
know what?  I absolutely will love you as long as you want me to!"  I
kissed his forehead tenderly.  "And you do want me to!  Don't you?  You
want me to love you."  No point in avoiding it, I decided.

He just stared at me, his mouth opening and closing a couple of times, as
if he had been about to speak, then lost his nerve.

I kissed him again.  "I already do, Parker.  I already do love you.  But,"
I continued, "I think you need to be a man's special boy, not just one of
several, you know?"

Parker blinked and stared off into space.  I was quiet, just gently
stroking his cock.

Finally I broke the silence.

"So how are you feeling?"

"I dunno," he mumbled, not looking at me.

I smiled.  "Seems like you're still feeing horny!"

The boy smiled a small smile.

"You know what I think you need, besides a bond with a man?"

He looked at me.  "What?"

"I think you need some friends.  I think you need to feel like people
accept you.  Like you belong.  You know?"

He blinked.  After a moment he gave a slow nod.  "Yeah," he said softly.

"You've never had that, have you?"

He shook his head, the sadness washing his face.

"Well it's time.  And right now I think that's more important than being
some man's lover.  What if -- what if you focused on making some friends
here on the island?  You're going to be having some sex with different men
pretty soon, and maybe you'll experiment around with some more sex with
boys on the island.  There'll be lots of boys you can be friends with!
Johnny will love and accept you in about one day -- actually, knowing him,
he does already.  There's tons of nice guys here.  A whole new world is
opening up for you, Parker.  It's gonna be great!  There's plenty of time
for you to find a special man and to be his special boy.  Don't rush it!
How does that sound?"

The boy had a different look in his eye, a firmer set to his jaw.  "It
sounds -- good."

"But . . . ?"

"But what about you?  And, you know, me?"

"Well, lets see . . ."

I grinned, grabbed his thick hair in one hand and pulled him toward me.

"You and I will have good sex!" I kissed him.

"And I'll care for you!" I kissed him again.

"And we'll talk about serious stuff sometimes!"  Another kiss.

"And we'll have fun sometimes too!"

I gave him one last kiss and paused.  I was grinning my biggest grin.

"And you'll share me with other boys, just like I'll share you!"  I paused.
"What do you think?"

I watched a grin trying to gain a foothold in his face, battling the
lingering disappointment.

Finally he reached forward and grabbed my cock.  He gave it a firm squeeze,
and the grin triumphed.  His face glowed.

Elated, I kissed him again, lustily, and then said, "OK, just lie back now!
Let's celebrate!"

With that I pushed him back into his pillow, then scooted a bit to lie over
one of his legs with easy access to his cock, which seemed to have lost
little of its hardness in spite of the seriousness of our conversation.  I
took his organ in my fist, bent it toward me a bit and began licking the
inflamed head like a ice cream cone.  His legs tensed and relaxed.  I
caressed one strong, lean thigh and I began sucking him.

At first I was content with pulling the first three inches or so into my
mouth over and over, sucking as hard as I could, then laving him with
saliva, then sucking again.  Gradually I began surging more deeply.  His
hand came into my hair and he gave a sigh.

I scooted forward to get a better angle, and began diving down onto him
more deeply.  I could comfortably get about five inches into my mouth, and
I contented myself with that, circling the remaining four with my index
finger and thumb and stripping them downward over and over as I plunged.

"Mmmm," Parker murmured, hunching his hips upward rhythmically.

I reached under him then and grabbed both his butt cheeks as I sucked.  His
ass quivered in my hands, muscles tensing and releasing.  I plunged more
urgently now.  The girth of his cock was causing my jaw to ache a bit, and
I couldn't have cared less.  Desire washed through me, the desire to
consume him, to soak all of him into me.

Parker was moving more urgently in response to me, gasping, groaning,
snorting, as he surrendered more and more to the pleasure, to the craving.
He began working himself in and out of my mouth so forcefully I stopped
trying to give him pleasure and just hung on to his slender hips, holding
three or four plunging inches in my mouth.

I was surprised at his stamina, and as we went on like this for quite
awhile I was delighted at how completely he was surrendering to pleasure.
Apparently our conversation had buoyed him -- or at least wasn't slowing
him down any.

Finally, suddenly, he gave a funny little squeak, like an excited rabbit.
His butt froze in my hands like iron.  I lashed him with my tongue.

Then he screamed.

"OHH!  AHH!"

And then he came, in thick, angry jets.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"  YAAAAAHHHHH!!!  YAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!"

Then "AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!" came one last bellow.  His body collapsed, his
ass suddenly soft and pliable again in my hands.

I savored the thick, starchy semen that slid around in my mouth, hot and
slimy, and then I swallowed it.  Swallowed the essence of Parker.  Though I
had not cum I felt completely satisfied.

I slid up on top of him and kissed him.

"That was great!" I grinned.

He gazed at me, his face relaxed, a small smile stealing over his face.

"You don't care if you didn't cum?" he asked.

"Nope!  I've cum a lot in my life, Parker.  It doesn't have to happen every
time.  Come on now."

I got up from the bed and grabbed his hand.  "Time for school!  You ready?"

"Um, I gotta shower."

I sniffed him.  "No time!  You're fine!  Slap on some deodorant, get some
of those sexy new clothes on and get going.  Meet your teachers!  Meet your
new classmates!  Make a friend!  Then come back to the apartment tonight
and fuck your brains out!"

Parker stood by the bed, smiling a confused, dazed but happy smile.  His
hair was impossibly rumpled, his big organ shiny with semen, his beautiful
body glowing with sweat.  As I gazed at the boy I thought to myself that I
always wanted to remember Parker that way.

Joe followup also, and setting the stage for his involvement with Zach