Message-ID: <234311Z02101995@anon.penet.fi> Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories From: an87208@anon.penet.fi X-Anonymously-To: alt.sex.stories Organization: Anonymous forwarding service Reply-To: an87208@anon.penet.fi Date: Mon, 2 Oct 1995 23:38:17 UTC Subject: Sean's Story (mm) Lines: 730 Warning: This is a story about love between two adult men. It doesn't contain the mindless screwing of most of the stories posted here. If this offends anybody, too bad. This story belongs to an87208@anon.penet.fi. I encourage any comments to be sent to me. Sean's Story Sean had always loved playing baseball. He had played the game since he was 6 years old. Now a junior in college, he was the best pitcher on his college baseball team. He was a very good looking guy by now. He stood 6 ft 3 inches tall and was about 210 pounds of solid muscle. He had been a little stocky as a kid but he had now bulked up in college. He had a nice firm chest, and washboard abs. They both had a nice covering of dark chest hair. He had nice big arms and broad shoulders. He had dark hair and deep brown eyes, with a very cute baby face. That seemed to make his muscular appearance even more attractive. There were two things that really mattered to Sean. Baseball and school. He was an excellent player and dreamed of making the pros, but he figured that was a one in a million chance. So he knew he had better concentrate on school. He came from a poor, rural family. Had it not been for his baseball scholarship, he had probably not been able to go to college. He was not the smartest guy, but he worked awfully hard at whatever he did. Despite the time constraints of already being on the baseball team, he consistently managed to get A's and B's. He dreamed of going to medical school and becoming a doctor. One of his professors assured him that with his grades, and his determination, he was sure he would get in. That is about all he concentrated on. He had not had a girlfriend since he had been in college. All his friends could not figure it out. Girls were trying to go out with him all the time, but he always told them that he was too busy. It was true, in part. He had dated a few girls in high school, but he never showed much interest in them. All his friends joked that all he cared about was baseball and school. It was partially true. He was a very shy, polite guy. He didn't make friends easily, but those who did manage to get to know him all agreed that he was a great guy. He seemed in general to be the All-American boy type. There was one thing that was different about him. He had known since his early teen years that he was attracted to men. He had an experience with a friend when he was 13, but that was little more than fooling around. Still, 7 years later he could think about it and get really turned on. He had had several crushes on guys in his life, but was far too shy to act upon them. He led a basically asexual life. He was too shy to aproach girls. Even when they came onto him, he never did anything with them, although he certainly could have. He felt that as long as he had these feeling about guys, he could not be with a girl. There was one guy in particular that he really felt for. His name was Paul. He was a teammate on his baseball team and a really good friend of us. Paul was two years younger than Sean, and Sean had been a sort of mentor on the baseball team. Paul was also a pitcher and Sean had spent countless hours with him working on his technique. Paul really appreciated the help too. Sean also helped him adjust to academic life. Paul had never been a really good student, but Sean helped him to maintain his focus. Paul managed to help Sean out too. Paul was much more outgoing than Sean and he helped bring out the more fun side of Sean. Sean seemed to loosen up much more when Paul was around. Sean basically thought the world of Paul. He spent all the time he could with him. He would spend hours with him helping him with math, or working on his curveball. It did't matter to him, just being with Paul was enough to him. Sean had friends other than Paul. Most of the guys they hung out with were on the baseball team. Although, Sean was quiet and didn't have a lot of friends, everybody thought he eas a great guy. Sean and Paul would often do stuff with their other friends, but there was something about Paul that was different. Paul was clearly different from the rest of their friends. After about 6 months of this, Sean realized to himself that he was in love with Paul. Who could blame him, as he was quite a sight himself. He stood about 6 ft 1 and had nice blond hair. He weighed about 175 lbs, not as muscular as Sean, but he had a smooth toned chest and abs. He had blond hair and blue eyes. He kind of looked like a surfer. He always wore his baseball cap backwards. But what could Sean do about these feelings. Slowly, Sean became consumed by his feelings toward Paul. All he could think about was him. He imagined what it would be like to kiss him or to hold him next to him. He began to feel increasingly frustrated when he was around Paul. Finally he came to the conclusion that he needed to tell Paul about his feelings. He knew that it wouldn't be easy and that it may ruin his friendship with him. But he was so miserable, and he couldn't live like this any longer. For about a week Sean tried to work up the courage to talk to Paul. He practiced what he would say when he told him over and over again. Every situation imaginable was analyzed. He kept on waiting for that perfect moment but it never came. He finally came up with the idea of inviting Paul over for a beer and telling him then. The alcohol would likely loosen him up and give him the nerve to do this. Paul came over on that Friday night. Just as planned they popped opened a few beers and started downing them. They just bullshitted a while, talking about baseball and discussing their summer plans. Finally Sean began to turn the tone of the conversation to a more serious topic. He finally asked Paul "Do you ever think there are any really unusual things about me?" "No not really" Paul responded, "you have always seemed pretty normal to me." "If you only knew the truth", Sean responded back, "I'm so different from what you think I am." "I don't see how, I just think you are a great guy" Paul said. "Do you really mean that", Sean said, "because what I have to tell you is really going to shock you." "You're my best friend, and I can't imagine anything ever changing that", Paul said trying to reassure him. "Well I don't know how to say this, but come right out and tell you. I think that I am gay. I don't know for sure. But ever since I was a teenager I have had very weird feeling about guys. I don't know what to do. I have tried to put them aside and I hoped that I would grow out of them, but nothing seems to work. They always come back to me. I could go and fuck every girl I see, and it wouldn't change the way I feel one bit." he said in a very upset voice. "Sean, I am really surprised. I just don't know what to say. I am just in kind of a state of shock right now." Paul said. "I know you must think I am a sicko, and that you probably are going to hate me for the rest of my life." Sean said now on almost the verge of tears. Paul jumped in "No, it is not that. I still think you are are a great guy, it is just that I had no idea. I mean you are my best friend, and I would have never guessed. I am just really stunned". "So you hate me forever now" Sean said almost crying. "No, it's not that, you are my best friend in the world, I owe so much to you. I never would have been able to be on varsity my freshman year if it wasn't for you. I never would have made it throught this first year of school either" Paul said trying to console him. "Well, there is more than just that. If that didn't make you hate me this certainly will. I have noticed the last few months that I am really attracted to you. I think about you all the time. I sware sometimes, i think I am in love with you" Sean said somewwhat desperately. "Oh man, I wasn't really prepared for that", Paul said in a very uncertain voice. "What would you possibly see in me anyway." "You are everything that I want to be. Outgoing, friendly, funny. I would do anything to have a personality like yours. I find you just amazing sometimes. It is unbelievable.", Sean answered him. "You know what I don't know what to do. I thought that I was always attracted to women. But lately I wondered what it would be like to be with a man. I had a friend of mine who sucked me off when I was in junior high and it was the best blow of my life. I still think about it sometimes. I have sometimes noticed that I like to look at the guys in the locker room. At first I thought it was just because I admired them because they were built so much better than me. Now I don't know, I have to say I like to look at you sometimes." Paul confessed. "I don't believe this. You like to look at me, why would anyone want to look at me," Sean said in a state of disbelief. "Well lots of girls I know think you are megahot. I know a few who would do anything to get you into bed. I found myself admiring you because your body is so much more developed than mine. You are even more hung than me. I was so envious of that.", Paul said to him. "Well tell me one thing, and be honest. How do you feel about me. Not whether or not you are attracted to me or men in general but how do you feel about me", Sean asked. "Well you are my best friend in the world. I probaly care about you more than anyone. Like I said, I don't know how i would have made it through this year without you. I really like you and I really care about you." Paul confessed to him. "Well like I said, I don't think I have ever cared for anyone as much as you. you are the most wonderful guy Ihave ever met. I feel so happy just to be around you." Sean replied back. "I don't believe this, no one has ever said anything like this to me.", Paul said getting kind of emotional. "Paul, do you know what i really want to do. I want to kiss you. YOu don't have to kiss back and I don't want to go any further but i want to do it." Sean said with a little more confidence. "It is okay, I think I would like that, but i have never kissed a guy before", Paul told him. With that Sean moved over on the couch next to him. They looked at each other for a second. They both felt somewhat awkward about all of this, because it was completely new to them. Yet, they knew it was what both of them wanted to do. More than anything. Sean put his arms around Paul. He touched his lips for a brief second,a nd gave him the kiss. It lasted a few seconds. They both stopped to gaze at each other. They looked in each others eyes, and knew that they wanted another one. They kissed again, this time probing the other ones mouth feeling around and getting closer together. They did this for a few minutes. "Wow that was awesome", Paul remarked. "It felt kind of weird because a girls face is not very scratchy, but that was really nice". "You don't know how many times I have imagined doing that.", Sean told him,"I have wanted to do that for the longest time. "I have something to ask you, and don't be afraid to say no. But can I spend the night here with you. I am not sure if I want to have sex with you, but I would love to just stay close to you for a while.", Paul asked him. Sean replied, "You have no idea how much I would love that. I would probably wait forever for you Paul. I would just love to be able to hold you next to me for a while. That is a great idea." They both settled in the couch. They kissed for a little while. Paul cosied up against Seans muscular body while they watched tv. They were both in awe of the feeling of being able to hold the other one. After a while of this they went to bed. They both stripped down to their boxers and stood there and embraced each other for a while. Paul got into bed, and Sean immediately went in and got on top of him. For the next few hours they both kind of just lied there in a half awake and half dazed state. They were both in total awe of the other one, and how they both felt for each other. Periodically they would kiss, and they would look into each others eyes for minutes on end. Neither one could belive what was happening, nor were they prepared for the magnitude of feelings it would erupt inside of them. They had never felt anything like this before. Never had they been able to be intimate with a man before. Gradually they both drifted off to sleep. Meanwhile something was happening inside of Pauls head. He began to have some remorse for what he was doing. This isn't right, he thought to himself. It went against everything he was ever taught. How could he look his parents, his friends, his coach in the face, knowing that he feel s this way about another man. In a moment of panic he ran off and went back to his room. He left Sean no warning or notice. As soon as Paul went back to his room, he realized what a mess he had made of things. He had strong feelings for Sean, but he felt that they were wrong and needed to be supressed no matter how painful, and how much it would hurt. He decided he needed to get away. He immediately got a few things got into his truck and headed for his parents home. They were on a vacation so he would have the house to himself except for his brother. It would give him time to clear his head and think about things. This had all come on so suddenly, he was in a total state of disarray. Paul needed to find out how he felt. He thought he always had been attracted to girls, but Sean had awakened something in him. Half of him told him he needed to kill these feelings, but the other half wanted to submit to his desires. Sean awoke from the most peaceful sleep he had ever known to find Paul missing. He was a bit surprised. He had no idea where he could have gone. He thought maybe he had gone to the library. He called over to Paul's place and got only the answering machine. He was not that upset at first. He just figured there was some place he was supposed to be. He checked the weight room and Paul wasn't there. He went where they usually studied at the library only to find no sign of him. He finally went to Paul's room. Paul was not there, but his roommate was. He told Sean that Paul left in a real hurry this morning and said he was going home for the weekend. This really puzzled Sean. Why would Paul go home without telling him. They were close friends, and he usually mentioned to him if he was going to be gone for a long time. Sean began to panic. Maybe what they had done was not all right for Paul. Sean had no doubts that it was what he wanted but maybe he pressured Paul into doing something he didn't want to do. Maybe Paul just did it because he felt sorry for him. He started to feel very upset inside. All his dreams seemed to be crashing around him. He didn't know what to do. Finally he decided to call Paul at home. Paul tried his best at first to play off his sudden departure, when Sean called him. He said that he needed a few things from home, and that his brother needed some help doing his homework. Sean could tell something was wrong he wouldn't excpet Paul's rather flimsy excuse. "Did what we do last night upset you?", Sean finally asked. "No, not really, why do you ask.", Paul said in a very insecure voice. "Well, it is not like you to just run off like that.", Sean said. "I told you, I had things to get, and some stuff to do.", Paul said in a very impatient voice. "Paul, I am not buying that one bit. I know you pretty well and I can easily tell when you are upset. Tell me the truth.", Sean said, sounding even more upset. "All right. I needed some time to sort some things out. I don't know if what we did is right. It is not you, it is me. It felt so right at the time, but I don't know now. It goes against everything I was ever taught. It was such a radical change in my life. I never expected anything like that to happen with anyone, least of all you. I just don't knw what to do now.", Paul said in a desperate voice. "Look, if you are unsure of how you feel and need some time, that is all you have to say. I hope I didn't hurt you or violate you in anyway. I just want you to be happy.", Sean told him. He tried to sound reassuring and understanding but insdie he was hurting even more. He thought, for one brief wonderful moment that Paul was his, and now what he had for so many months longed for, was taken away. Paul said he really needed to go and Sean said his goodbyes. Sean tried to convince himself that everything would be all right, but the propsect of losing Paul terrified him. He kept thinking to himself "what if I had pushed things too fast". He kept thinking that that was going to drive Paul away from him. As much as it would kill him to have things the way they were before last night, the idea of having Paul completely out of his life would be even worse. Sean tried to keep himself busy the rest of the day. He went to the gym to work out. He thought it would relieve stress. It did a little bit, but when he was finished he was as sad and lonely as before. He had lunch outside the school lawn. As he was sitting there alone, he kept noticing happy couples walking by. This really hurt him. Everyone, it seemed to him, all his friends and everyone else had someone special in their life. Why couldn't he. The one thing that he wanted seemed to be so far out of his reach. He tried to go to the library to do a little studying, but that didn't work either. He found it impossible to study. The only thing he could think of was Paul. Later that evening a friend of Seans called him up and invited him to a party. Sean went with a few other guys on his baseball team. The other guys could easily notice that Sean, who is usually unemotional, was very down. One of the guys confronted him about it. He said he was all right. Still, it didn't take a genius to notice something was wrong. They asked him again, and he said that he was just really stressed out because he was really behind in one of his classes. Well, they bought that, even though it was the farthest thing from the truth. Sean was really depressed but it at least helped to be around his friends and not have to be alone. It did kind of hurt to think how bad he felt inside and still could not tell anybody. He figured that maybe getting a few beers into him would do him some good. That worked for a little while. Then he started to get even more depressed. Two of his friends picked up girls rather easily and stopped paying any attention to him. Dan, the other friend that he went with , sensing how bad he thought Sean felt, tried to get him to hit on some girl that had been checking him out. Sean made up some excuse about how he was too shy but his friend persisted. Sean started to get really annoyed. "Why don't you just go up and talk to her?", Dan asked him. "I just don't want too, You know how I feel uncomfortable about being around girls", Sean said. "That is no excuse. Come on man, show some balls", Dan countered with. "I don't want to go hitting on someone. She probably wouldn't want anything to do with me.", Sean told him. "Are you kidding, she has been checking you out since we got here.", Dan said to him, trying to boost his confidence. "You're just making it up to get me to do it. Why the hell do you care what I do, Why should anyone care?", Sean said sounding very dejected. "Man, don't treat me like that. I am just trying to help", Dan said rather defensively. "Well, you don't know what I want. Nobody knows. Nobody understands me. Why do I even give a fuck. None of you really know me. You just know me the way you want me to be.", Sean angrily told him. "What the hell are you talking about. All I was doing was helping you get some girl. I thought that is what you woud want", Dan told him. "That's just it. You think you know me, huh. Well you don't. You have no idea about me. You think I woudl want a girl. You have known me for three years. I have I once even tried to pick up a girl, gone out with a girl, talked about a girl. I am so different from what you see me as, it is not even funny." Sean said, sounding even more dramatic. "Are you saying what I think, you are saying?", Dan asked him in a totally stunned voice. "What do I need to spell it out for you. I am fucking queer. I like guys okay. I am a fucking homo. There are you happy now.", there's the truth, I hope you can deal with it.", Sean shouted out for everyone to hear. "Man, I don't believe this. It can't be true.", Dan said wearing a look of utter astonishment. By this time everyone else was now focusing on this. Sean had just come out to virtually everyone in that room. Sean started to realize what he had done. He really didn't care. He just wanted to be away from all these people. None of them understood him, none of them cared. He kept thinking that to himself. People began to stare at him and he started to feel humiliated. He just left the party and started running. He didn't know where he would go, he just wanted to get out. He just ran and ran he had no idea where he was going. He had never felt so alone in his life. There is no one he could talk to, no one he could turn on. He finally got back to his apartment. He just put in a CD put on the headphones and put the volume on its highest level. He wanted to totally escape the reality that was now confronting him. Whether he liked it or not, it was only a matter of time before everyone around him knew he was gay. So many people heard the conversation, and news like that spreads pretty fast. There was no way of avoiding it. Meanwhile, Paul was still feeling like shit. He knew that he had very strong feelings for Sean but he felt so guilty about them. Part of him wanted to go right back to school and run right into Sean's arms. The other half felt that he had some abnormal perversion that needed to be supressed no matter what the cost. Somehow Sean survived that lonely Saturday night. He had never been so depressed in his life. He wanted to go to the library to study but he didn't want to see anyone he knew. He just wanted to avoid everyone in his world. He wanted to drift into a total state of isolation. One where he would not have to depend on any other person. He was the only one he could count on. He buried himself in his books that day, trying to stay as focused as possible. It was almost impossible. All the could think about is how for one brief moment he had what he had wanted for so long, and it was gone. It was getting late in the evening. He debated to himself whether or not to call Paul. About 8 he finally did. The phone rang about three times. Paul answered it. Sean could not bring himself to talk. He tried to answer back hello,but the words would not come out. Instead, he hung up the phone, and for the first time in about 5 years he began to cry. Sean decided that he would not go to class or practice tomorrow. He had not missed any classes in a long time. Nobody would even notice he was gone. He could not face anyone he knew in the state that he was in. He seemed to just lie in his bed the whole night. He was unable to sleep or think about anything other than Paul, and how hadly this whole situation had played out. Sean was finally able to fall asleep at about 3 in the morning. He awoke again about the time the sun rose. He debated whether or not to go to class. He finally decided that sooner or later he was going to have to face the world, and today would be better than tomorrow. He had never backed away from a fight, and this might be the biggest fight of his life. The alarm clock wakened Sean at 8 in the morning. The sun was out and it was a beautiful warm day. Maybe all of this had been a terrible dream he thought to himself. Maybe none of this stuff had ever happened. Then he reminded himself of what a terrible mess his life had become this past weekend. Sean headed for the shower hoping not to see anyone he knew. He quickly took it and went back to his room. He grabbed a bite to eat and headed for class. He saw a few people along the way he knew. They said hi to him like they normally do, and he said hi back. He went to his first class at 9 and had a seat. Nobody looked at him funny. Maybe nobody really cared what had happened. Maybe Sean was making a big deal out of nothing. Then he looked around. He saw a guy that was at the party. He was whispering to a girl and every now and then they would look at him. Oh god he thought to himself. They had to be talking about him. It couldn't be anything else. The class seemed to drag on forever. That brief sense of relief that Sean felt quickly vanished. He now felt like he was in some bizarre paranoid state. Everyone was against him, everyone was his enemy. The class ended and Sean quicly hurried to his next one. Luckily for him it was a lab and the people in that lab were just casual acquaintances to him. He did his lab work in a hurry and went to lunch. Again he tried to avoid seeing anyone he remotely knew. After lunch came what he dreaded the whole day. Baseball practice. He was sure that everyone there would know what had happened. This was sure to be the most humiliating experience of his life. He went to the locker room and quickly changed. The other guys just seemed to leave him alone. Finally almost after he was completely finished Paul came in. He suddenly had this feeling of total uneasiness. He didn't want to have to deal with this. He simply said hello and then went into the gym and started stretching. The anger in Sean sure seemed to make him pitch good because the coach commented on how well he was throwing his fastball. Sean felt completely uncomfortable the whole time during practice, but not too bad. This was his domain after all. This is where he was at his best. After two and a half hours practice was over. The guys on the team quickly headed to the locker room. Things had not gone so bad so far. Sean hoped to quickly change and go home. It was not going to be that easy though. "How did you guys feel about having some faggot in here looking at us?", said Brian one of the guys on the team. He was not a very bright guy, the typical dumb fraternity jock. He was a major jerk and Sean never did like him. Sean looked at him as being intellectually and athletically inferior to him and he was pretty much right. "I don't think I want this homo lookin at me without my clothes on. He might want to do something." "Yeah, maybe we should get a dress for him to pitch in next time", Jack said, another guy who had shit for brains. "What the hell are you guys talking about?", Paul asked very confused. "You didn't hear, your little friend here told the world he likes other boys this weekend at a party. Looks like our star pitcher is also a switch hitter too", Brian said laughing really hard now. Brian had always been jealous of Sean. Sean was a much better pitcher, more girls seemed to like him (even if he didn't like him back), and he got good grades. Paul didn't know what to do. A million things were going through his head. He knew he should defend Sean. He was his best friend and he had been there for him a million times before. But, what is the other guys found out about him too. After all he spend Friday night in bed with Sean, even though they had nothing more than kiss. Plus, they were constantly around each other. If people knew that Sean was gay they would automatically assume Paul was too. Paul didn't have to do anything at first. Dan, the guy who had made Sean come out in the first place yelled out, "Leave him alone. There is nothing wrong with him. So he's a little different. Big fucking deal. He is still the best fucking player we have. I don't see why you guys are so upset unless you are a little unsure about your own sexuality." "Well what are you, his butt buddy?", Brian said very humorously. "No, I am just saying what is true. I am still proud to call him a friend", Dan answered back. Meanwhile Sean felt a little bit happy that Dan was standing up for him, but a little bit saddened that Paul was not. He could understand in a way why Paul chose to remain silent though. "Well maybe we ought to leave you two girls alone then", Brian fired back with a few guys joining in the laugter. Sean was getting really angry now. "You gotta problem with me, you say it to my face. So you wanna piece of me, you come and get it you coward.", Sean said very angrily. "I don't wanna piece of you. I ain't no faggot. I bet you'd like a piece of me though, wouldn't ya, ya little sissy.", Brian said getting equally angered. That pushed Sean over the edge. He raced right over to Brian and pushed him against his locker. Brian thought he was really tough but he was no match for the stronger Sean. "What are you going to do to me, bend me over and fuck me in the ass?", he said being as much as a smartass as ever. Sean was about to punch him when some guys on the team pulled him off and some other guys quickly got ahold of Brian. Meanwhile, Paul quickly dressed and left without anyone noticing. He felt so awkward that he just couldn't stand to see it. The coach walked in right as this was transpiring. "What the hell is going on here?", he said with great authority. "Sean, Brian, what are you guys up to. If you got a problem you ain't gonna settle it this way. Now I want both of you to change and get the hell outta here. Brian what's going on?" "Nothing, it was just a little mix up", Brian said in a voice of intimidation. "All right, everyone outta here. Sean, I want to see you in my office after you get changed", he told him. Sean quickly got dressed and headed into the coaches office. he closed the door and the coach immediately started in on him. "What the hell was that all about", the coach hollered. "I expect that kind of shit out of Brian but not out of you. I expect more from you." "Sorry coach", Sean said calmly. "Things just got out of hand a little bit. Don't worry it won't happen again." "Well it better not, or else there will be hell to pay. In the meantime I suggest you fix whatever got into you.", the coach replied. Sean thought about what the coach said and knew he was right. He was never one to back down from a fight. He had worked hard to get whatever he had wanted and this little setback could be overcome too. He went straight from practice over to see Paul. He knocked on the door and Paul immediately answered. "Paul we need to talk", he told him. "Yeah, I know, but my roommate is here. Why don't we go for a drive or something", Paul answered back. They got into Paul's car and just sat there in the car silently for a few minutes. "I bet the coach really went off on you didn't he?", Paul asked. "No, he was a little upset but he didn't say too much. He gave me some advice though", sean said. "What was that?", asked Paul. "He told me to fix whatever has gotten into me and that is what I am here to do "Well the only thing that is wrong with you is me. If it weren't for me your life would be just about perfect now.", Paul said. "No that ain't true. My life would be a lot worse off if you were not a part of it. You are my best friend and I could never stand to lose you. You have done so much for me. There is no way I could ever repay you.", Sean said very confidently. "What have I done for you except put you through misery. Look at me I am a total headcase. One night I am all over you, and the next night I run as away from you as fast as I can.", Paul answered, getting very emotional. "Paul, you have done so much for me. You can't possibly realize that. You taught me how to enjoy life. Before I met you my life was such a complete drag. All I ever did was work, I had no fun at all. You have been there for me whenever I needed you Paul. Just thinking about you gives me chills", Sean answered back. "Well you have done so much for me too Sean. I would have never have gotten through this first year without you. I would have flunked all my classes but you kept me focused. I would have been so homesick, if it wasn't for you", Paul answered. "Paul, you know the way I feel about you. I mean you are more than just a friend to me. I love you, I really do. I tried to deny it for so long, but feelings that are this strong and have lasted this long can't be phony. I really love you Paul", Sean said getting very emotional. "Sean, I know I care a lot about you. It is just before I met you I could never think about a guy, you know, in that way. It would have never have seemed right to me. But you are so wonderful, and it is more than just a friendship Sean. I am attracted to you. I tried to deny it too, but I can't anymore I don't want too", Paul said almost crying. "Well we both care about each other, we are both each other's best friend. I don't want anything to change that. You know how I feel about you. If you don't want to be friends, well in that way, that is fine with me. I just have to be your friend no matter what." Sean said regaining his conf- idence. "No, I want to be more than just your friend. I have never felt like this about anyone. It will take me some time to face the fact that I like a guy this much. But I can do it. We can do it." Paul answered back to him. WIth that he moved over and gave Sean a hug and did not let go. The two of them just sat there and hugged each other for about a half hour. They were together at last and that was all that mattered to them. Together, they could bravely face any obstacle that was to come in their way. Neither one of them had ever felt so fulfilled or been so happy in their entire life. 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