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Jesse: The Nebraska Rancher's Son - Part One
Author's Forward: This story is a fiction, an inspiration from a picture I obtained from the web of a beautiful acrylic painting of a farm or ranch boy who appears to be anywhere from fifteen to seventeen years of age. He is standing against some dark horizontal boards that look like the back or side of a black painted barn or shed. The boy is shirtless and stands holding his blue denim jeans with his hands, unfastened and dangling about his slender hips.
He lacks underwear and his flaccid cut penis is clearly visible in front as a result, but the rest of him is hidden. His face is angular and has the distinct look of a proud mid-western farm or ranch lad. There is a long full and lush stalk of wheat trapped sideways through his full and closed lips. The most striking thing about the painting is the boy's face, his expression; pride, self-sufficiency, confidence and a sense of who he is even at his age. Yet there is an offering of himself to the on-looker, but an offering on his terms only. I admire the painting for its simplicity and beauty and I admire any boy who may ever have been or is like him.
This is a young gay love story between two boys, one fifteen, the other sixteen in rural America, circa the mid 1970's. Enjoy!
OK, quiz time. Identify the following three persons. One is me, at fifteen years old. The other two are very important individuals in my life or culture, at least in some eyes. One, Edward Lodewijk Van Halen; two, Randy Harlen Wolcott; and three, Jesse Lollypin McKensie. Give up? I'll give you some hints. One of the three individuals named, graduated from Pasadena High School in Pasadena, California in 1973 and after graduation would go on to take the international world of rock and roll by storm with his band "Van Halen" and combine with various personages over the years such as Sammy Hagar and David Lee Roth to thrill his fans in the 70's and 80's and beyond.
Another of the individuals named was supposed to enter Pasadena High School as a freshman shortly after Edward Van Halen's graduation from the same school but never would. That life changing omission would be the fault of the third individual who would take the other non-rock-and-roll boy's heart by storm as he deplaned from a jet aircraft at the airport in Omaha, Nebraska in an early summer of the mid-1970's. They both would then go on to live in a state of quiet and happy anonymity near to Burwell, Nebraska never really knowing until decades later that one of them might have shared a tiny piece of history with Mr.Van Halen from Pasadena High. Well, eat your heart out Eddie Van Halen, I'm glad I missed out on that.
God bless my mother, she was always trying to find ways to bring me out of my shell, my self-imposed and protective prison that guarded me at age fifteen against my own fears of who I was. I knew I was different from other boys and it frankly was not something I could talk to her or anyone else about at that age in those turbulent mid-seventies. One simply just did not go around telling adults that you feared you liked boys exclusive of girls and that you liked other things that seemed far worse than that as well and no matter how cool and it was living in liberal thinking Pasadena, California.
Mom always thought I was just being shy. So I had to suffer summer camp up near the Mt.Baldy wilderness near to Claremont Hills Wilderness Park for each of three horrible summers prior. Each session had been a sea of boys whose only talk when a counselor was not near was about pussy and tits. That was it. I felt totally left out and did not even try to fit in with those awful heterosexually laden conversations.
The next summer, the summer between junior high school and my impending entrance into the hallowed halls of Pasadena High School, I complained enough to mother about the my prior disappointing summer camp experiences without telling her the real reasons, of course, that she granted me "permission" to not go to camp that year; but that did not mean I would get to stay home by myself all summer, no. Enter the long lost mid-western relatives, the McKensies; Hank, Matty, his wife and their three daughters Alicia, Amanda and Alison. Oh yes, and their son, Jesse. Jesse and Alicia were the youngest, twins if you will but not identical. I met Jesse McKensie once when I was ten. His father Hank had driven the family west to Southern California for some sort of farming equipment convention and my folks invited them over to our house in Pasadena for a visit one day. This was just three years before Mom and Dad would divorce when I was thirteen. I met the older eleven year old boy and even then Jesse McKensie had a look, a confidence and a swagger about him that made me feel things, very uncomfortable gut-stirring things.
Even at ten I tried to assert my big city Los Angeles swagger on the somewhat taller Nebraskan Cornhusker boy, thinking that he was a stupid and ignorant hillbilly and unable to match wits with a clever city-boy like me, and especially on my own cement turf. I was wrong, so very wrong. Even then Jesse asked smart questions about things in the L.A. Basin for which I had no no answers. Though I had tired, he had defeated my impression of him pretty good. Frankly, as I watched Jesse depart with his folks from the curb of our inner city house after the visit was concluded, I was glad that however it was that he had that affected me so, could now be suppressed and not possibly come to the light of day ever again, it made me so afraid of myself. The thing is, the brain never forgets. Oh I suppressed the very thought of Jesse McKensie after that visit and I had five long years to reinforce that I knew nobody and nothing about any person or any boy from Nebraska in our family tree. Five years mind you! So why did my body almost seizure with a huge shiver of mind-numbing recognition when mom announced to me that instead of summer camp, I was going to spend the summer with my Nth numbered cousin Jesse McKensie, near to Burwell, Nebraska?
"Won't that be fun honey?" Mom started with. "Don't you remember Jesse?" she continued, "He's just one year older than you," and I felt already tired of him, but she wasn't finished, "I'll bet you two will get along just like brothers and maybe he'll show you how to ride a horse or something?" But what could I say to her?
"But Mom?! That Jesse boy, he made me feel things that are indecent. You can't send me there! I know something bad is gonna happen between us, I can just feel it. You have no idea how glad I was for him to leave our house five years ago! What are you trying to do to me!?"
"Trapped" is not the word, no. Try "betrayed" or "black-mailed," yes black-mailed against my own deep feelings, feelings no Mom of mine was ever going to find out as far as I was concerned then. So a few days later I helplessly and placidly waved good-bye to her at Los Angeles International Airport (KLAX) and boarded a series of jet aircraft not having a smidgen of a sliver of a clue that I would not be returning to California till decades later.
I loved aircraft, the large big kind, the kind that carried dozens of people at one time with famous logos painted on their sleek silvery bodies, I still do. Even riding in those two sleek 727-200 jets for the first time in my life barely could distract me from thinking about what lay ahead. I was fifteen and Jesse, my would-be host, was sixteen and my hormones were on fire and I barely could understand the thoughts of what direction those hormones were headed when I would see the older boy soon at the airport in Omaha.
My plane from Los Angeles landed at Chicago's huge O'Hare airport and I transferred to my next and last leg to Omaha. On the way, I begged the pilot silently for severe turbulence or some kind of sign that we had to turn back to Chicago O'Hare, but he ignored by silent pleas and made such a perfect landing in Omaha that late morning that even I had to appreciate it. Jesse McKensie was now just moments away. As I sat in my seat waiting in the jet on the arrival apron for the deplaning procedure, I could only really visualize Jesse as an eleven year old still. Eleven year olds, no matter how you picture them, are dorky beings most of them. Jesse was not so much a good looking boy at eleven as a boy that made me feel things despite his looks back then. I would not be prepared at all as I now walked down the stairs from the jet, walked into a whirlwind of feelings that would suck me up with no remorse for its actions.
I wasn't a bad looking kid, actually I was damn good looking. I had a handsome and cute face. Most boys my age were starting to complain of pubertal-onset acne. I had perfect skin and I liked the way my ass filled out my trousers in back and my other stuff in front too, but when I walked towards the families and relatives waiting for various passengers from my flight to greet them to Omaha, I really had not recalled what the McKensie clan looked like. For a moment I thought it was going to take a lot of calling out my name and just see who would respond and identify themselves as the McKensie clan.
I didn't have to bother. I still would not remember what Hank and Matty McKensie looked like until I saw them standing next to a boy that my eye and brain immediately identified as Jesse, my sixteen year old Nth removed cousin, and suddenly whatever good looks and confidence in myself I thought I had, melted quickly away. What happened to that geeky looking eleven year old boy? Who was this? I stopped. I gulped. He actually didn't see me at first and I had but a brief moment to evaluate the chances in my mind that I could possibly stand to be in that boy's presence for longer than say two minutes without turning into a pile of nerves and impossible to deny testicular aching. None, that's how many chances. Then he saw me and our eyes met. He smiled warmly at me and it was from that moment that I swear to God above, that I just knew somewhere down very deep that I would never ever leave his side. I know how that sounds and me being fifteen and all but it was damn true.
I took a breath and looked down and then looked up and started to walk towards them. I then identified Hank and Matty, Jesse's Mom and Dad and my adult hosts. There was a girl with them, Alicia, Jesse's fraternal and non-identical twin and what a pretty girl she was now, but as much as I tried not to look at Jesse, I could not prevent it. I walked up to him bravely and extended my hand, "Do you remember me?" was the first thing I said to the taller and older boy. "Sure do," he drawled and clutched my hand to shake.
That "sure do" was said with a soft mid-western farm and ranch boy twang that if ever there was a doubt as to my future with him, it was further dissipated. "Remember my folks? And this here is Alicia, she was with us too when we visited you in Los Angeles." Jesse smiled. I turned and Matty McKensie, a woman who would rival my own Mom for every boy's need for motherly attentions, smiled at me and hugged me tightly, "Well aren't you as sweet as they come!?"
I didn't even blush, but Jesse seemed to a little. Then there was Hank McKensie, Big Hank he was called and grinning big, he rolled his eyes at his wife's inevitable outburst all over me and we shook hands. Now Jesse had a good handshake but a boy's handshake. Hank on the other hand had a man's handshake, a rancher's handshake, but most importantly to me, a father's handshake.
You have to remember that it was two years since my parent's divorce and quite frankly my Dad was, well, he was not there for me at all, gone from me in so many ways. But then you have to have been there to be gone and he had not even been that to me. Hank's handshake lingered much longer than Jesse's had and his other hand gently pressed my shoulder from on top, "Now don't you pay her any attention Randy, she'll embarrass us all before she's done," and then we shook, good and firm too.
This is going to sound really strange but I immediately fell "in love" with Big Hank McKensie. That is to say I knew I had my own biological father, but then again that was all my father ever could be for me. I really was fatherless at that point in my life and I knew even then that Big Hank could fill that role if I wanted him too. Jesse looked at his father, proud of him for welcoming me as he had, but he also looked at me, having a care that I might be feeling a little bit out of my league and very vulnerable.
Boys can just sense that in other boys but only if they really like them and are paying attention. He was right. I had left California leaving my false city-boy swagger behind and ended up shaking Jesse's and Hank's hands feeling a bit like a small boy and a lost orphan. Jesse then walked out towards the jet I had arrived on just with me and far enough away from his folks' hearing, "Never even seen one of them, what was it like to fly on?" Jesse asked me knowing somehow that I needed to feel like that what I knew and cared about, mattered to him too. I admit I perked up, but I was not dumb either. I knew what he was trying to do and I loved him for it. So what did I do? I stepped up to him and of course stuck my foot in my mouth. "It was great. That's a 727-200 and with those Pratt and Whitney jet engines, that thing takes off like a rocket ship."
"Oh?" Jesse replied and continued to look at it. Then he pointed at the starboard engine nacelle. It had an "R/R" emblem emblazoned on the side, "What's that mean Randy?" It was totally innocent. He wasn't trying to be a smart ass at all. I blinked and looked at it. Most Boeing 727's in those days were outfitted with Pratt and Whitney's. A few were not and this one was not. "Um, yea, that means Rolls-Royce, the engines are Rolls-Royce, not Pratt and Whitney." I looked down, embarrassed and busted by my own need to brag about something here in the middle of a land, totally foreign to me. Hank sort of saved me, "Jesse! Randy! Let's get a move on boys, it's a while back to home."
"Yes sir Pa! Come on Randy. We'll ride in the back of the truck all the way home!" Jesse said as if that was the most fun thing of all. Hell, by then, I thought it was too, just as long as I didn't have to identify what kind of engine was in the truck we would ride in. Hank, Matty and Alicia got in the front cab and Jesse and I hunkered down with our backs to the driver and facing the truck's tailgate. In those days it was legal to ride that way in the back of a big pickup truck and I sat side to side and hip to hip with Jesse. "Tell me about California, I remember it some when we visited, but that was a long time ago."
I shrugged and didn't really want to do that and make more foolish remarks so I started to ask him questions about whatever my eye could see as we had finally left Omaha and were on the open road. The problem was, all I could see were cows, corn, horses, corn, some sheep here and there and a corn silo here and there, and of course more corn. "Man, that's a lot of corn Jesse," I finally ended. He chuckled, "Yea, it is. We even got some back home."
Jesse was easy to smile and laugh and both were contagious. He had this mid-western drawl and boy did he not mind sitting close to me. It was fucking unnerving and as much as I wanted to prevent it or not admit it and as ignorant and inexperienced as I was about sex even then, I was still attracted to him from the moment we sat down in that truck bed. The wind whipped about us as his Pa screamed down that highway at better than 60 mph, but I could smell Jesse, I could. And unlike some folks who you get close to and cringe and want to back away from for their unpleasant body scent? I wanted this older boy to swallow me up whole, it was that pleasant.
At one point on the way back, he actually fell asleep. I would learn that farm or ranch boys got up at three or four in the morning and he was just plain tired. He worked hard alongside his father at their ranch and despite a whole lot of hired help, Jesse still worked like a thirty year old man did. Jesse nodded off and just lay his head on my shoulder and I had this feeling of trust. He trusted me. Maybe he had no idea what he was doing, but he wasn't afraid to lean up against this strange younger city boy and sleep. And it made me feel all the more guilty for what I was feeling for him. I could even see the outline of his penis in his denim Wranglers and it was big, even flaccid. It had got caught at an odd angle and I tried not to look at it. I could tell he wasn't wearing shorts too, goddamn him! Was he trying to seduce me? Of course not and I chastised myself for thinking any such thing.
He finally awakened not too soon before we arrived at his home, his Pa's huge thousand plus acre ranch and farm, "Oh, sorry, man, this ride always gets to me," Jess said awakening. "That's OK, I understand. You work for a living. I've never worked as hard as you have." He rubbed at his eyes and didn't move a muscle away from me, "Yea well, there's better ways of making a living or so Pa says."
"I like your father already," I suddenly blurted out sounding stupid to myself. How could I like the man after just meeting him for the first time? But I did. I cringed and wondered that I should keep my damn mouth shut for the duration and not embarrass myself further in front of this Adonis sitting next to me. Jesse did not miss a beat, however, "Well that's good then, cause I can tell he's already taken a cotton to you Randy and that means he's gonna want you right by his side all day long today, showing you stuff. Make sure you make a big deal outta ol' Killer his bull. That there bull is his pride and joy."
I felt bolstered once again by Jesse's ability or his wisdom in not letting me feel too stupid, so I gamely replied, "Hell Jesse, I'll tell him that bull would make a grown man cry for joy." Jesse grinned, "That's it Randy! You're gonna be just fine out here!"
We had turned off onto a dirt and gravel road and Hank had slowed down to about 35 mph and it was a good ten minutes before I said, "Jesse? When do we get to your place?" as I looked around at the wide expanses of flat land. "Oh we been on it since the highway, it's kinda big it is." I was flabbergasted. Big? Jesus. The Pacific Ocean was big, this was enormous and it was perfectly clear and the terrain flat and you still could not see any horizon that did not belong to Hank McKensie.
Suddenly the truck slowed and a huge horse ridden by an older girl came up to the truck with another smaller horse in tow. I learned it was Amanda, one of Jesse's older sisters. Jesse jumped up and so did I. He lept out of the truck bed and Amanda handed him the reins of a gorgeous Quarterhorse paint, all saddled up. "Thought you might like to treat our summer guest to his first horse ride Jesse," Amanda proudly beamed as I stood to the back. She dismounted her horse and came up to me as Alicia had now gotten out of the truck as well.
"Welcome to Nebraska Randy! I never knew California boys were so good lookin!" Holy shit! How good did that girl make me feel right then! I blushed and managed a decent smile through my horrible nerves, "Thank you mam," I even said trying on a little tiny country twang for size. Then Jesse motioned me over to his Quarterhorse. I had never spent any time around a real horse, that is one that was being used for real purposes.
They were huge, I was small, I kept my distance from them. But now I walked slowly over to Jesse's horse. Compared to Amanda's, this horse was smaller, but I was still cautious. "It's OK Randy, this is Tornado. She's a mare and all you have to do is come close and let her get your scent, don't be afraid." So I did. I let myself get close, but I closed my eyes. If you have never had the pleasure of being close to a well cared for horse, their breath is amazingly sweet and warm. Tornado snorted a little and then she nudged me gently with her muzzle and even more subtly whinnied. "Damn! You see that Pa? Tornado don't take to nobody much but me!" Jesse grinned and raved, "She likes you Randy and that means she already considers you a part of her herd, her family."
I opened my eyes amazed and totally humbled by what Jesse said. Here was this huge beast, her gentle face just two inches from mine. I looked at her eyes and they were big, brown and I could even sense her welcoming me in them. "Go ahead, she loves to have her ears scratched." Jesse instructed me. So I did and it was fun! Tornado rattled her big head about and then Amanda took some carrots out of her saddlebag and Jesse taught me how to properly feed a horse a treat and not lose any fingers. I was hooked.
"Pa? Is it OK I take Alicia with me and Jesse take Randy and we race home?" Amanda asked Hank. Race, on top of that huge thing? I looked at Hank and he looked at me. For reasons I will never be able to fathom how he knew, he then looked back at Amanda and Jesse, "OK but take it a little easy. Randy here can handle it but he's new so don't scare him too bad." and upon hearing that from Hank I looked at him and he gave me this fatherly nod of confidence and a little knowing wink.
Well I was scared shitless, like getting on a new high and dangerous looking roller coaster ride, but how could I not live up to Hank McKensie's impression of me? So I mounted up on top of Tornado and then Jesse climbed up in back of me. He wrapped his strong arm and shoulder around me, "Now you listen. All I want you to do is let me hold and balance you in my arm. I won't let go of you and just let your hands lay soft on top your thighs. Don't grab the saddle horn, ol' Tornado will think you're asking her to change direction, she's real sensitive that way for calf-roping and she may get a little confused, OK?"
In other words, I was to put my little fragile life in Jesse's hands. I can tell you that feeling the older boy pressed up so close and intimate to me as he was, gave me all the information I needed to answer him, "Yessir," I said automatically without even knowing what I had really said to a boy just a year older than me. Alicia climbed effortlessly up on top of Amanda's big Paint and the girls grinned. They loved racing the boys. "Take it easy a bit Amanda, don't want to spook Randy here right away" Jesse said across to the grinning older sister.
"Don't worry, he's too cute to let come to any harm," and she winked at me!! Thank god for Amanda. I was sure Jesse was going to gun Tornado if she had not said that and I would end up screaming like a little girl in front of him. "Oh lord have mercy this is gonna be fun Randy. Here we go partner!" and again with that damn twang of his and the way he said "partner" my body shuddered.
Off we went. True to their word, the girls and Jesse maintained a walk, then a canter, then started to let the horses run just before a gallop. Finally Jesse asked me, "You ready to see what this old nag can do Randy?" I ignorantly nodded. I needed something to distract me from the fact that Jesse's limp groin was pressed right up into the small of my back just above my butt and the way he cuddled me so firmly and his head was just aside mine and I could smell him so well, oh god! "Yup, let her go Jesse!" I said bravely (or foolishly). Jesse looked over to Amanda, "Lets get goin' girl!" and off we went.
Well just like when you get to the top of that roller coaster ride's peak and then dip down and start to careen at heart stopping speed, Tornado accelerated so hard forward that just like on that jet that had brought me to this rarified place, my body pressed back even harder into Jesse's and my chest ached with the excitement. I loved it, I loved every moment not only of the speed and danger, but of feeling myself pressed back into this older wonderful boy.
The fast pace that we made to the farm and ranch house had made a longish trip quite shortened. Who won the race? Amanda did only she finished last with Alicia, behind Jesse and me. That is to say, her big Paint should have won, Amanda did not let her. She knew better than to not allow Jesse to save face in front of me. That would happen a lot here and there with these McKensie folk. I got off Tornado and I was shaking hard with excitement.
"Well, did you like it?" Jesse beamed at me. I nodded like a six year old that wanted more candy and Tornado was just juking and rolling, she wanted more too. Jesse laughed, "Come on, I'll show you how to take care of a horse proper after a run like that," and Jesse and I patiently walked Tornado to cool her down before we took her to her barn stall. That is when I first set eyes on Wild Bill. Wild Bill was a gelding Paint, a little larger than Tornado but smaller than Amanda's Paint, Justine. Wild Bill's stall was just next to Tornado's. I stopped and gawked at Wild Bill and he at me. Jesse's mouth curled up at the sides, "Do you like him?"
I went up and he nuzzled me even harder than Tornado had done. I petted and scratched his ears and Wild Bill snorted and shook his head and his front right hoof pawed the stall floor. "Yea, I do, who does he belong too?" I asked. "Well, Papa owns 'em all, but he said if you like Bill, he'll be yours while you're here!" My head jerked around and looked at Jesse. I hadn't been in the State of Nebraska ever and now only a matter of maybe four or five whole hours.
I had got off that jet thinking I could not possibly have anything in common with these country folk and now they were treating me to the experience of my young life and sharing things with me. I had to catch a little lump in my throat just then. "I'd sure like that Jesse," I said very shyly and had to look away briefly. A fifteen year old boy's emotions could be tender, or at least mine were and on a razor edge at times and this was a lot more than I was used to feeling at any time in my life. Jesse said nothing and just patted my shoulder. Then we heard Hank and Matty drive up, "Come on, let's tell Pa!" and Jesse ran off and me after him wondering how in the world my Mom knew that this was what I really needed in my lonely and confused young life.
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I did not know it till much later, but Hank and Matty had talked a long while to my Mother about me and her worries and concerns. She knew much more about me than I could ever have suspected and both adult McKensies reassured Mom that the moment her son set foot on mid-western soil that I would become instantly one of their kids and treated just the same. As soon as Hank got out of the truck he looked at Jesse and me, particularly me, "Well, both survived all right, good, now Jesse you got work. Randy you come with me son, there's a whole lot you need to find out about living here and working, come on boy."
I was seldom used to being asked in any way to do anything work-wise and even if I had, it was always my Mom's asking. This was not asking, this was a command from an authority figure. I guess I flinched thinking he was angry or something with me given his terse and flat tone. It was just so matter-of-fact. Jesse was right next to me and sensed my discomfort. He knew his Pa had not meant to sound mean, just direct, as was his way, "Now you go along with Pa Randy, he won't bite you, you'll have fun," and patted my back. I guess Jesse was the only reason that I moved from my spot that moment towards Big Hank.
Four hours later, half of those spent listening to story after tale after legend about one thing or the other all over the McKensie Ranch and Farm, I was ready to adopt Big Hank as my one and only true father. He treated me like a son, he really did, and I felt guilty for wanting him to be like a Dad to me against my own father's existence, but I had no choice. I never felt such feelings as I did going around with him. I even made a huge fuss over Killer, his prize bull and he just grinned at me and I could see his pride in the huge valuable animal.
We ended up my "tour" at the calf-roping pens. The McKensies had a load of hired hands, mostly young adult males and most of them were gathered and participating for rodeo practice. This was Nebraska territory and the nearest town was Burwell, about an hour's drive away. Nothing much took place in Burwell during the week, but weekends were for Rodeo, especially in the summer months. That meant that during the week, boys and men, women and girls, would practice their various skills on their own spreads in their own pens and then on the weekends would flow to the Burwell Rodeo and compete for local rodeo glory.
Hank nodded for me to climb up to the top of the pen fence just in time to see a calf let loose and Jesse was on Tornado right after it. My god how Tornado swiveled, stopped on a dime then accelerated seemingly all by herself, Jesse on top watching with his rope ready to cast it out. When he did, he roped that calf firmly the first time, jumped off Tornado and then hobbled the calf properly and jumped up. The hands all cheered. It was masterful. I was too ignorant to know just how good his style, form and time were but I cheered anyway. Jesse looked like a professional not to mention how the whole thing made me feel right down there between my thighs. I blushed wishing I was the damn calf! I waited for Jesse and Tornado to leave the pen and Jesse came over to me, "Well, what'd you think?" What could I say? I had to say something. I had been treated like a prince, a friend and a son all day long by these people and especially Jesse. What was good enough? Then it hit me, "Wish I could do that, that was pretty awesome Jesse." and I let my voice reflect a really honest and solemn admiration for the older boy's skill.
Jesse was grinning, but the grin went away into a serious but friendly smile, "Pa says wishing is like fool's gold, it ain't real. He also says you'll be riding Wild Bill and calf-roping by halfway the summer gone and when Pa says something, you'd best get doin' it." I instantly perceived and felt the paternal threat, the solid purpose, as well as the unbridled confidence that Big Hank had in me, "Well, then I guess I'll get it done!" I grinned, feeling things I never thought possible. Jesse's smile returned, "Yes you will Randy Wolcott, you wait and see!"
I was wound up tighter than a kite in a stiff wind at a California beach, only I was in the middle of Nebraska, of nowhere really except where I now wanted to be. Jesse went to bed early before me as he usually would on my first first night, but I was not yet on his schedule, there was no sleep in me. I would have to be up and going by four AM the next morning with Jesse, but that was OK. I stayed up with Matty and Hank and they treated me to extra dessert, some of Matty's apple pie and ice cream. Oh my god, I could live off that and the rest of Matty's cooking for the rest of my life.
Then I sat down, one of them on either side of me in the old front room couch for awhile and they proudly showed me family album pictures. I hated family album pictures, my own that is. I loved looking at theirs. I guess I just wanted to know everything about every McKensie in every year portrayed, but then the lights went out. I finally fell asleep on the couch even as the two of them continued to turn the pages to their albums.
I woke up going disoriented, goint up the stairs laying sideways, only I kept my eyes shut. Suddenly I realized I was in Hank's arms! He was carrying me to bed! I was terribly embarrassed at first and didn't dare let him know I had awakened so I just possumed. He carried me all the way to Jesse's and now my bedroom and Jesse had pre-prepared a bed and pillow of extra bedding next to his. Big Hank then gently set me in it, unbuttoned and took off my shirt and then my trousers and pulled them off my stocking feet down to my boxers. Then he carefully pulled the top sheet and blanket over me still thinking I was dead to sleep. He leaned over and whispered, thinking I could not hear him, "You done good today boy, sleep well," and leaned over and kissed my temple. Then Hank got up and leaned over his son Jesse and kissed his temple and lingered a moment over his sleeping son and whispered,
"I think you found yourself a real brother here Jesse, I hope it works out." Then he left. I stared after him for a few very long moments and even felt a little teary eyed at what I had just experienced. I had never known such tenderness in a grown man and never even knew I could feel what I was now feeling. Sleep finally came.
I got up at four AM that next morning, bleary-eyed, and wanting to go back to sleep. Jesse's presence was the only reason I did not, that and my first cup of hot rich coffee with cream and sugar out of Matty's big old fashioned stove-percolated pot. We gobbled down toast and jam and then I was out to my first day as a newbie rancher boy. I was kind of excited until I got a look at what my first job would be besides keeping Wild Bill's stall cleaner than my own mouth. Hog slopping. Yes, that's as low as it gets outside of the smelly chicken coop.
Jesse taught me how to get those animals what they needed and wanted and how to do it without getting killed. You heard me. Nothing is meaner than a four hundred pound hungry hog and he does not care what he eats for food either. He'd eat me if I let him. It was disgusting to be sure, but it sure did loosen me up to farm and ranch living. After you've been plastered by hog urine and shit filled mud for an hour, there's nothing you can't do or stand. I looked forward to cleaning out Wild Bill's stall after that. That was clean work by golly, but after a day of that and some other animal related chores, I was dead tired or so I thought.
Finally Jesse and I were on the same schedule. There would be none of Matty's apple pie and ice cream just before bedtime this night. I kind of gawked at Jesse as just before bed, he went up to Big Hank his father and whispered something private in his ear, smiled and then embraced his Dad and got a kiss on the temple for it. I didn't even see Matty and Jesse hug and kiss, I was so taken aback by what Jesse had the nerve to do with his Dad and I so wanted to do, but didn't have the nerve. Jesse then nodded to me that we should get upstairs then I stopped and turned. Hank and Matty had not moved. I did. I went first to Matty and hugged her, that was easy,
"Thank you for dinner mam and for having me." She kissed my forehead and gently smiled, "You're welcome Randy." Then I paused before the big man, "Thank you for having me Mr.McKensie, I know I'm a bother." I don't know why I said that to Big Hank but he just accepted it and grinned, "All my kids are bothers, that's what being a farm and ranch boy is Randy, now give me a hug." I did and got my kiss from Hank and it all felt so good. I rushed back to Jesse and he grinned warmly and I followed him up to our bedroom.
Then it was from the frying pan into the fire. Unlike the prior night, I would now have to face my biggest and hardest challenge, being with Jesse in his bedroom, alone. I looked at the bed on the floor and started to bend over to arrange it but he stopped me, "No no, not tonight partner. From now on, you'll sleep up in my bed." I looked at Jesse. There was no fucking way I was going to take this older boy's bed away from him, even if he wanted. "No, I'm fine here on the floor Jesse, I slept like a baby last night." "That may be, but you're sleepin' in this here bed tonight," and then he started to strip naked. I had not noticed and could not have known from the prior night that Jesse slept raw under the covers and now he was making himself raw right in front of me as if he was getting naked in front of his damn horse! What was I supposed to do!? If I stripped off raw too, I might get a boner. Hell, I knew I was headed for that anyway and it upset me.
If I did not strip off, I'd look like a wuss and get a boner anyway. In any case I would get a boner! Should I excuse myself and go to the bathroom and wait there two hours? No!! I decided to be "cool" and strip off naked too but with my back turned to Jesse. I could then easily slip under the covers before I boned up as long as I kept my cool. "Ok ok, I'll sleep in the damn bed." I finally said. "Good, glad to see you're still minding your elders," he said with this awfully attractive little smirk. "Oh, you're thinking that your one year over me makes you my boss now, huh?" I shot back with my won smirk and quickly slipped under the cool sheet and covered up with Jesse's blanket.
"Damn right I do! I'm gonna be the one teaching you riding and roping and you're my responsibility. If something, anything, happens wrong, Pa will tan my hide in the barn with his strap and I'd like to avoid that for as long as possible."
Oh boy, I suppose I wasn't surprised, but just to hear him says the words, "strap," and "tan" all in the same sentence started to make my dick go instantly hard, but since it was buried far under the sheets I thought my worries were over. Wrong. I turned and looked at him. He was standing there bare ass naked and he was totally and irrefutable boned up right in front of me. Worse yet, he acted as if there was nothing unusual about it.
He could see my eyes bulge and my brow furrow. I watched him then just plop down onto his back onto the floor bedding and take a hold of his erection like it was extra dessert from his mom. He didn't play with it exactly, he just held it up. How could I not look? "Oh yea?" I said real hoarsely, referring to the threat of punishment, not his dick! Then he looked over at me, "What? You never had a good strappin' have you Randy." Of course I hadn't, but now I felt like I was not up to standards because I hadn't.
"Um no! I've never even been spanked Jesse," I finally said and then turned myself to lie in the bed on my back looking up to the bedroom ceiling. My heart was pounding away in my chest so hard that I thought I could die, any notion of sleep busted to smithereens, not to mention my fragile ego kind of threatened. "Oh, well, first time for everything I guess. Pa stopped spanking me long about three years ago. Now I get the strap, bare ass naked too over a bale of hay in the barn. Hurts, hurts really good but it teaches me it does." And then I had to peek at Jesse and gulped for what I now saw him doing.
After saying what he did, he just closed his eyes, seemingly oblivious of me and started rub on his boner in his bed, and he was laying on top the makeshift bed and not covered up! Did he and his friends do this in front of each other from time to time or something we city boys were not at all used too? Did he think this was the usual bedtime activity with another boy? Did he assume I did this and it was normal? "Yup, time's a comin' … " he continued as if talking to himself, "Don't worry, Pa will go easy on ya the first time and I'll help you through it too." He droned on. Help me? Go easy? Strapping? And he was masturbating himself as he said those words about me getting my first strapping. Now what was I suppose to think and do?
But just then he looked over at me and stopped his stroking, "Oh! Randy, I'm sorry, I'm being rude huh. It's just that even thinking about a good strappin' lately makes me hornier than a bull. What makes you horny?" Oh no! Not that question! And now my dick was angrier than shit at me. I felt ignorant and defeated in so many ways, his question too overpowering in its innocence and yet Jesse McKensie was not innocent. I was innocent or I used to be! I looked up to the ceiling and made a decision. I guessed that it was just a matter of time and since Jesse had the audacity to so flagrantly brandish his erection, I would too. What the hell anyway, who would care now now?
I flipped off my covers and closed my eyes waiting for him to laugh at my five-incher, may as well get it over with. I started to shake and wanted to lose my nerve some, but it was too late after that. Jesse had me and he could make or break me now. "Randy Wolcott, you're normal after all. It was all that talking about strapping and all that made you all hard wasn't it?" Normal? This was normal? Talking about strapping was normal? He was normal? And me too? Well sure, why not, I suppose!? But to my credit, I decided to take the plunge with him, "Jesse, I ain't never seen another boy's hard bone and I ain't never heard another boy say that a spanking or a strapping makes him get all horny either," and then I thought I had said quite enough and paused. I looked at him and he looked up at me, putting his non-stroking hand casually behind his head, "You thought you was the only one, didn't you?"
I nodded, saying "yes" with my nod, then waited. Suddenly he stood up from bed! l stared at him, thinking I had said something wrong. He smiled at me so seriously and warmly then, "You city boys miss out on all the fun. Your parents think they're doing you a favor by not spanking or whippin' on you when you need it. Yea it hurts. Yea I don't like disappointing my Pa and makin' him have to take the strap to me, but it works. I makes me change and so what if jerk off on myself after. Feels good. I know you know at least that much about it, haven't you ever jerked off with another boy?"
Jesse's casual and matter-of-fact attitude about our little birds and bees moment, took both my breath and voice away for a few seconds, but I decided to open up to him a little and gave him my most lost and mournful look of need and shook my head, "No, I haven't." He smiled, "Would you like to have a try with me then?" I nodded yes so fast just then. He grinned, "Move on over. We'll stay in bed awhile together and see what happens."
Naturally, I found something to be worried about over this new anticipated experience, "Well, what about your Ma? Your Pa?" He gave me another knowing grin, "Randy, this here is a workin' ranch and farm. There's more sex displayed outta our animals then any of us humans can rightfully get and my parents are not dumb or stupid. They know a boy needs release and they know they don't want no girls getting pregnant. What a boy does with himself as long as it's done private, don't matter to them, scoot over boy."
I did and immediately felt like I was in the hands of the Master Masturbator or the Great Male Teenage Sex God and he was going to begin to open up a brand new world of boy on boy bex with me. Finally, too! I scooted over all right and Jesse moved in close to me and right at my side. To be in bed with him for such an explicit purpose made me so wide awake and alert, besides so horny, that if he dared touch me, I knew I was going to shoot off a load without meaning to and mess the sheets.
We just lay there a moment, me like a bronze stiff statue of body and dick, desperate now to know what to do to please him and not fuck up and make a fool of myself. Jesse saw and felt my discomfort, "Randy you never even been touched by another boy have you." Boy he had me dead to rights there, "Noooo," I replied quickly and maybe feeling a little like a wuss. "You just wait right here," and Jesse got up and left the room and came back quickly with a small towel. He slipped back into our bed and my stomach was beginning to hurt from my anxiety and need and worry about what I was supposed to do with Jesse.
"Now since I'm responsible for learning you riding and roping and most everything else around here for work, I'm gonna teach you how it feels to be pleasured by another boy, OK?" Now that felt really good to hear him say that. I I had already trusted Jessie not to kill is both on that fast fun horseback ride, and now I could trust him for this too, "Please yes Jesse, I trust you," I said and even looked him in the eye.
He smiled warmly down at me from up on his elbow, "Good, now here's what's going to happen. You're gonna turn over on your tummy and I'm gonna put this towel underneath. I'll bet you're gonna shoot off a load right away. You just let it happen. You might shoot off two or three before it's all over. You're so pent-up and nervous, you'll feel so much better after. I'll just help you. I'll learn you what it feels like when another boy's hands touch you all over but especially that hot ass of yours."
I shot a glance over to him. Hot ass, me? Well, I thought so about myself, but to hear that from another boy was a whole different world of feeling. He saw my surprise, "That's what I said. I saw your sexy behind at that airport in Omaha and knew I had to have it for myself. Was hoping desperate that you wanted that too and look what happened? It was all meant to be Randy Wolcott and I believe that."
I needed no more convincing from my new mentor. His words, his ways, his family's ways were all consistent and just the balm I needed in my life right now. I trusted Jesse in a way I had never trusted another human. I turned and felt him place that soft towel right under my swollen penis. I kind of wanted to hump it but no, I wanted to feel Jesse's hands, everywhere now and I wanted something else from the older boy too, dare I ask him? Hell, why not? Jesse had making of his father's big hands and now they were resting on my back and side and I shivered but I said my peace to him, "Jesse? Before you start?" He smiled, "Yup?" I swallowed first, "Well, you're responsible for me right? And your Pa will strap you naked if something happens?" He nodded, ""That's right."
I sighed, "Then it's only fair isn't it? If I screw up and you catch me, you should strap me too," and then I I closed my eyes. I had never even thought to say something like that to another human, much less this boy who now already meant so much to me. "Tell you what partner. Strapping is a serious punishment. You're just a greenhorn and that has to be respected. So when that happens, you'll get a good spanking over my knee, bare bottom up, how's that?"
How's that? My dick almost unloaded just hearing him say the words. My stomach knotted up so hard that my tummy muscles spasmed and I drew my knees up just a little in response and caught my breath, looking up to the ceiling for a moment. Then I looked at him square in the eye again, "Does that … would that please you to do that with me?" I had to know. Then I saw for the very first time a look on Jesse McKensie's face, a look that meant either trouble or a hell of a lot of fun on the horizon.
"Please me? Hell's bell's boy, I been waiting to find a boy like me for all my life, welcome home!" And then his big hand slipped right down to my ass. It felt so good I just pushed it up into his hand wantonly and without meaning too, moaned loudly, "Oh god Jesse, just pull me over your knee and spank me hard now please?" and then I thought of the sounds and noise and knew he wouldn't do it but it sure sounded good to admit it to him. But the next thing I knew, he flipped the covers off of us and said, "Now that's what I wanted to hear, get your fine ass over my knee city boy, it's time to introduce you to country ways, Jesse McKensie style!"
One always looks back on "first times," sexually speaking anyway, as the best time a person may have in a bedroom with another person, but how would I know? This was the first time of the "first times" for me. Jesse definitely knew what to do however. He grabbed that towel and swaddled my hard dick in it, "I'm gonna tan your behind Randy Wolcott. I'm gonna show you part of what a good sound greenhorn spanking is like so you'll know when I give you a serious butt belting. And, you need to hump this towel and I expect you to cum at least once."
All my spanking fantasies and thoughts came to bear and none of them could match being over Jesse's naked lap, his dick hard too and me in this farm house bedroom in Nebraska on a late warm humid evening an hour from anywhere. His big hand lay on my naked upturned butt and I stuck it up there high, real high. He growled. He liked that and a finger was already straying to between my ass cheeks. I knew then I wanted so much more from him, but for now to be ready to be spanked was good enough.
His hand raised and he slapped me once, then twice then five more times hard. Each time the awesome force in his strong teen arm drove my cock in through that wonderful roughened but smooth towel surface. I didn't care when I came at all, I cared how my ass was now stinging and burning under his control. I cared that I wanted Jesse to spank me, to tan my city-boy hide and teach me to take it however he wanted to give it to me. He paused and his finger now purposely rimmed my butthole. I had done that to myself plenty but to have another caring boy do it? I not only pushed up I said outright, "Oh god Jesse, push harder!" and moaned kind of loudly. "Oh yea, I'm gonna." And he did.
He stopped spanking me and took his time and slowly penetrated my tight hole with his strong meaty finger and I could not help myself. I had done plenty enough of that before on my own in the past. So I threw caution to the wind and simply then forced my butthole up and impaled myself like a whore up onto his finger! "Holy Christ boy! You keep that up, you're gonna get more than an ass tannin' tonight!"
I knew I wasn't ready to be butt-fucked by Jesse's seven incher and I also knew that I was indeed not going to make it to the next morning without it either. This was a runaway train, out of control and after years of pain and self-doubt and thinking I was the only boy who felt like I did, I was finished with all that, finished right there in that bed with Jesse at the helm. "Then tan my ass and get to fucking it Jesse! Take my goddamned cherry, I don't care how much it hurts!"
For once and maybe for the only time ever, I caught Jesse by surprise. He lurched over and put his mouth close to my ear. I could feel him shaking, trembling even. He could not have been more turned on, just like me. His voice became husky and insistent and not at all self-assured, "Don't say that Wolcott! Don't say that and not mean it! Cause I want too so bad, I could yell and shout it!" Then it was my turn. I don't know what happened to me just then, maybe I think I didn't like Jesse sounding so desperate. I hated that he sounded like that! I hated it. I had to relieve him. I did the only thing my heart told me to do. I lurched up and kissed him on the lips, hard. My first kiss of a boy ever. His arms flew up and stayed there. I thought I had actually done the wrong thing, but I suddenly felt two strong arms and shoulders grab me hard and then he kissed me even harder and his tongue demanded and gained entrance to my mouth for a long time. He finally broke the kiss and his eyes were flaming with desire,
"I knew it. I knew it from the moment your head stuck out of that there jet. I saw you and I wanted you and I knew I would have you and you would have me!" And then his evil grin reappeared, "Now prepare for a hard spankin' Randy, then I'm gonna breed you so help me god like that bull of Papa's breeds a cow!" That was it. He took off and me with him. Jesse spanked me so hard it brought tears to my eyes and a kind of joy to my heart, even though it hurt like hell!
He slapped and lectured me. He told me I was not going to get away with squat. He told me even if his Pa strapped me hard, I would have to be spanked later. He promised me by summer's end I would be nearly as good as him calf-roping or my butt would be red trying and his hand was tanning me hard as he lectured me but as his hand continued to sting my needy behind he then stopped, "I love you Randy! I do! I can't do all this and not say that now, it would be a lie. My Papa don't hanker to lying!" and then he was inanimate and he looked really afraid of what I would think about what he had just said.
My ass was throbbing, my dick had cum actually somewhere along the line and I had not even hardly felt it, my mind and heart had been so overwhelmed by my "coming out" to Jesse and yet I had not said the words he just did. Did I love him too? Already, just like that? When I'd ever even thought of such a thing before in my life? And Did I? Did I Randy Wolcott of merely fifteen years, even know what was? Shit! Why did he say that!? What was I supposed to say now? I panicked. He sensed it. He sensed by confusion,
"I'm sorry Randy! That was plain wrong of me to say that! I shouldn't have … I … " and then I just had to interrupt him, he was sounding painfully doubtful now and I couldn't have that! "Noooo! Noooo! I love you too Jesse!" I said quickly just to say the words and stop his doubt. I would not allow that Jesse McKensie was wrong about anything and that he needed me to say what I did. But did I believe my own words? He looked at me. I looked at him. His face softened into a hellish looking resignation. not believing me. Then he got out of the bed and stood up as I watched, becoming very unhappy with my own performance.
"It's late, we need to get to bed Randy, four comes early around here" he said softly and gently and then he sat hard down on the bed on the floor looking lost. I would not have it. I could not have it. No. Did I love him? Damn right I did. You know how I knew? The tears started to roll down my face, just like that, and on time too. I pulled on his arm hard, "Get your goddamned self into this bed Jesse, now! I won't have … I won't have my first ever boyfriend sleeping alone this night!" and then I lost it completely. That's how I really knew it was right! I did love him! I came to Nebraska and two days later I found everything I'd ever wanted from life with him. I got out of bed and stood and sobbed, but not for long. He wrapped himself around me and we hugged.
"Boyfriends huh?" he said and I was shaking and crying, but now I refused to take it back. That's what I wanted wasn't it? I didn't care now if he didn't and would tell him so if needed, "Yes," I said and finally stopped my carrying on. He sighed, "Sounds good to me partner, we got a deal." I finally could smile at Jesse and relax and then I yawned with so much fatigue and so did he. Then wordlessly, we slipped ourselves into our bed and he spooned me and cuddled me and I felt his hard unrequited, but happy erection press into the center of my buttcheeks and that's how it ended, Jesse McKensie from Nebraska and Randy Wolcott from California, falling asleep together until the alarm woke us up at four the next morning.
It was the best and most satisfying sleep of my young life. My eyes popped open and then so did his. I blinked wondering if this was all real, then Jesse sniffed back a bunch of ugly sleeping mucous into his throat and it was gross and we started to laugh, "Well, welcome to country life Randy Wolcott, now get your stinky ass outta bed, it's time to go to work boy."
Next: Part Two
© Copyright PJ Franklin March 3, 2009
Your comments are appreciated. pjfranklinboy2@earthlink.net
Last updated: March 3, 2009