Date: Sat, 22 May 2021 02:03:06 +0000
From: Brian Porter <birdflies@outlook.com>
Subject: Persuaded into bitchdom - part 06

Persuaded into bitchdom – part 06

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Hi guys, this story is related to `from straight to bitch club', but if you
haven't read it and don't feel like reading it, it's ok, you'll still be
able to fully understand it.

Be aware this story contains and/or will contain manipulation, coercion
and/or persuasion of straight men into gay sex. There's no romance here. If
this is not your kind of story, please don't go on.

I have a Patreon page: www.patreon.com/brianporter

I very rarely charge for postings there, I use the account more to get in
touch with you guys and make the writing process more interactive. If I get
to charge, it's never more than once a month, and I'll donate part of it to
Nifty.

I also have Twitter and Tumblr. My nickname is: kranyatz

Please add me and let's talk over there too. On my Twitter, I've been
posting drawings as I try to nurture my artistic side haha anyway, images
of how I see the characters and so on.

Also, please, do send me e-mails saying if this story made you cum (yes, it
does mean a lot to me). You're free to leave comments, suggestions and
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My e-mail is: birdflies@outlook.com

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Enjoy!

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Chapter 6

Zac left. I was feeling terrible. Why? I should celebrate it. I still
didn't want him to cum on my asshole. That was definitely gay, and I wasn't
into men. I felt my confidence being drained out of me. I looked at Greg
again. At least, he wouldn't leave me. Zac and others were treating me like
that because they all had dicks bigger than mine. If I were as long as
Greg, they wouldn't harass me like that. I jerked Greg for at least one
hour before going to bed. I wanted Greg to be mine.

More classes and attentive gazes on me and my new attire. I was wearing a
new pair of shorts that weren't still adjusted to my body and needed to be
stretched out a little bit. A short-sleeve t-shirt that had my new name
`BUNS' written on the back. My leash. The rumour said gooey had become
buns, and everyone liked that. Buns had incredible buns.

It's funny to think about this because it somehow doesn't make much
sense. I thought that walking covered in cum was degrading. But I've
managed to suppress my indignation. Why was this affecting me now? Since I
undressed and stood naked with my teammates my mentality changed. My shell
was my clothes. And now, even dressed in those shorts and tees, I still
felt like I was vulnerable and exposed. In my mind, I started thinking of
Greg as my new protection.

When I sat down to have lunch, I saw my teammates coming to my table. Juan
came a little later. He was adjusting his balls inside the shorts, but I
don't think it was working.

"You two sit together," Craig instructed Juan. He sat by my side very close
to me. "And you do what couples do."

Juan didn't wait for me to say anything. He pulled the hair on the back of
my head and kissed me again. He was dominating me through his kisses. I
wish I could say I despised it, but I'd be lying. I had an erection
straightaway. I thought of jerking off as he kissed me, but I didn't want
to touch my dick. I saw Greg, instead. Slowly, my own dick was being
replaced by Greg. The stronger I refused to be small, the more I longed for
Greg.

"You like this, don't you?" Juan whispered in my ear before kissing me
again. "If you don't answer, I'll kiss you like an angel and not like the
devil. Don't you?"

"Yeah..." I answered with his mouth and tongue still fucking mine.

"Find a room." I heard someone yelling at the back. Juan let go of my
head. He was grinning at me. I was breathless.

"These are the volleyball bitches, you asshole," Craig yelled back. "Go,
mind your business." Craig was smiling at me. "You're doing good. You look
like a bottom fag to me. You just keep doing that. Pretend you're Juan's
slut."

I could have answered, but Juan took from me my will to resist.

After lunch and before another round of classes, Juan kissed me again. This
time, we were both standing on the corner of a building which gave us a
little privacy, but still enough to let others watch us. For the first
time, Juan not only pulled my hair but with the other hand, he touched my
ass. He was so close to me that I could feel his crotch against mine. I
couldn't believe it, but he was hard too.

"You like being manhandled. Isn't it nice? A man to do with you whatever he
wants?" I hesitated again. He pulled my hair again trying to get an answer
from me. "Don't you?"

"Fuck, man..."

"If you want me to keep kissing you like a cheap slut, you'll need to start
talking. Do you understand?"

"Ok. Ok." I tried to push him away, but he wouldn't let me. "Listen, I
don't know what you think of me, but I'm doing this only because Craig
asked us to."

"Ok. So, if I said I was thinking about coming to your room to kiss you
there, just the two of us, would you refuse it?"

"Yes..."

"You don't know how to lie. Just admit it. You like being a bitch to other
men. A submissive bitch."

Juan had been teaching me important lessons with his kisses, but I still
couldn't understand it. It was obvious, wasn't it? This is how being
submissive could be so pleasing. Total surrender is blissful. I wanted to
see what the benefit of submission was psychological, before feeling it in
my body. One thing needs to be connected to the other. The pleasure I was
trying to grasp was physical and not psychological. I'd never feel it if I
didn't have a guy manhandling me. The mental aspects of submission started
becoming clearer from the moment Juan first kissed me, but I didn't want to
see it.

The realization of how submission could be pleasing scared me. For months,
I had dozens of guys cumming on me, and I've never dared to think it was
arousing. On the contrary, I focused on how disgusting this was. But now I
was facing a hurting dilemma. Somewhere deep inside my psyche, I found that
a part of me enjoyed that. A hidden suppressed part of me liked that so
much, it stopped me from complaining and seeing the reality. The glances of
schoolmates over my covered body that I believed to be positive probably
never existed. Teachers would talk to me, but I never listened to
them. There were people worried about me. Coach Lane asked me if I were
fine, and I answered with a smile and thumbs up. I thought I was
pretending. No, I wasn't. That answer came from that part of me that I
didn't want to surface. For months, I preferred to pretend nothing was
happening, and they all let it go. I wasn't forced to do anything. I
accepted it. I craved for it.

I don't know if I could deal with that. Who was I? What was going on with
me?

"I've been watching you guys from over there. You two are so hot." This
blonde dude approached us.

"What do you want?" Juan answered.

"No harm. I swear. I just have a proposal for you. I know this guy who
shoots films for the internet of guys fucking. Well, it doesn't have a
proper fuck, but maybe some sucking would do. He pays well. Would you be
interested?"

Juan was thinking about it. I couldn't believe it.

"Fuck off, dude," I answered.

"It's ok. I understand. Just keep my card in case you change your mind,
ok?" He gave me and Juan a card. His name was David. He left us.

"I can't believe you were thinking about his proposal." I defied Juan.

"These guys pay well. I need money."

"The department of psychology is always paying for guineapigs. Why don't
you volunteer?"

"Porn pays better, you know that." Juan sounded serious.

"I gotta go. See you in the court."

I had another round of classes. I couldn't focus. My mind was set in Juan
and his kisses. I couldn't let that affect me. I didn't want that part of
me to overcome my reason ever again. The reality is I was scared. I feared
myself. I knew I wasn't gay, so how could I have such desires residing
within me?

During the training I was pissed. I didn't correspond to my teammates'
expectations. They were also angry at me. Nothing worked. It was one of
those days you want to forget. In the showers, I focused on Greg. Those
guys wanted to break me with their big dicks, but I wouldn't let them. For
as long as I had Greg, I'd be better than them. I let them know they
weren't as big as they thought. There were guys bigger than them. If they
only knew, they wouldn't brag about it ever again.

I was being so repetitive, their anger against me was getting to a whole
new level. I was asked to leave. Craig wanted me to think about my attitude
and then get back to him.

My training with Lee was also bad. He noticed my distress. Lee was patient
and listened to me like no one else. I needed his attention. I invited him
to my apartment, so we could speak with more privacy. I was glad he agreed
to it.

"So, what's going on?" Lee asked as we entered my room.

"Everything. I think I'm going crazy. First of all, Craig's asked Juan to
kiss me in public as part of my new hazing. He kisses me with passion. Like
a man kisses a woman. And I'm being the woman. And I think I'm enjoying
it. This is so fucked up."

Lee stood by the desk as he did the other day. I sat down on my bed.

"I'm not gay, man. I swear..."

"Bud, this has nothing to do with being gay. Each body reacts to stimuli
differently. Remember when I told you that were submissive? That's the
response of a submissive mind. It would be the same if a chick kissed you
aggressively or passionately. Gender doesn't matter."

"How come it doesn't matter? I'm not into dudes..."

"You're into dominate people, either men or women."

"So, you're saying I'm bisexual? I'm not. I don't feel anything for
dicks. I want to fuck pussies."

"Are you sure? I think there's a part of you that you fear, and you don't
give voice to this part of yourself. The part I'm listening to right now
belongs to a high school boy afraid of growing up and discovering that the
world is much bigger than he's ever imagined. No one will respect this
boy. He'll never be accepted. I'm sorry to be sound so cruel, but that's
the truth. Once I was a spoiled brat too. It took me years to learn and let
myself show. Actually, I think I'm still learning."

"I don't think I can do that. I don't know this other part of me. What if
this part turns to be someone that will destroy me? Someone who'll
embarrass me?"

"You destroy and embarrass yourself by hiding and suppressing this hidden
part of yourself. You may think, what if this part is gay? Trust me, it
doesn't happen. Unless you have a mental disorder, which I think it's not
your case, you can't have a hetero part and a homo one. You are what you
are."

"I think I liked it when the guys cummed on me. That's horrible." I
confessed. It hurt me, but I needed to let it out.

"Why is that bad?"

"I'm.not.GAY!"

"Enjoying guys cumming on you doesn't define you as gay. It defines you as
submissive. As someone who likes it when others tell you what to do. Guys
cumming on you is just a great expression of submission. Showing your
almost naked body to others does the same trick. Being vulnerable either by
walking covered in cum or walking in tiny shorts have the same impact on
you. The difference is that now you decided to be aware of who you are. You
decided not to pretend and hide anymore. It's a totally different
experience, and it hurts, I know. But without pain, you can't change. No
pain, no gain, right?" Lee smiled.

"I don't want to be gay."

"Hey, stop talking about it. Just forget it for a moment, ok? No one is
saying you're gay. I personally don't think you are gay. As I said, I think
you're submissive and like being manhandled. That's not because you like
men, but you like what they do to you."

"It's the same thing..."

"No, it's different. Stop being so obsessed with being or not being gay."

For the first time in weeks, I thought about Bob. He used to say how Karl
was a fag who was hitting on him. I couldn't believe him. I used to say
that Bob just couldn't play the games that uni students had to offer. I
didn't want to be like him. I fought it. But I ended up being exactly like
him. I believed I could be different by overseeing my surroundings. Bob was
different. He preferred to have both feet on the ground and watch
everything. I didn't want to be like Bob. Yet, I didn't want to be like
that guy who opted to turn a blind eye to reality. Still, I wasn't prepared
to see the third possibility that lied deep within me.

"Is Greg helping you?" Lee was once again touching Greg's balls.

"Yeah. I know it sounds silly, but he's helping a lot."

"That's good."

"But today... I don't know. I'm trying to think Greg is better than
everyone else as you suggested. It helps me. It truly does. But I think now
I see my teammates as less important people. Since I have Greg, they don't
intimidate me anymore. I think I'm not respecting them as I used to."

"You don't need to let them intimidate you, but you can't let yourself
think of them as inferior. I didn't want this to happen. That's a problem."
Lee was seriously concerned. "I think we need to change our strategy."

"What you mean?"

"I said you had to think of Greg as better than everyone else. That won't
do you any good. We need to try something else. It's something that you
won't like. You may think it won't do you any good, but you gotta trust me
on this. Do you trust me?"

"Yeah, more than anyone else."

"Good. So, listen to me. I need you to look at Greg from now on and think
that Greg is not only the best dick in the world but that yours, the one
you have between your legs, is the worst. I need you to come into your
room, undress, stand side by side with Greg and say it out loud: `you're
the best, and I'm the worst.' You need to emphasize it all the time. Look
at your own dick and make fun of it. Get it into your brain that you have
the most ridiculous dick in the whole world."

"Gosh..."

"It's either that or losing your friends, teammates and even me
eventually. You need to put yourself down, so you won't get everyone to
despise you. Do you understand?"

"I think so."

"So, lose the shorts and come over here."

I let my shorts near my bed and stood beside the desk, near Lee and Greg.

"Can you get hard?" Lee asked.

I could get an erection when I thought about Greg. Now he was close to me,
so it wasn't too difficult.

"Good. This part now may seem easy for you. You just need to compare. Look
at your dick and then look at Greg. Try to get closer to him. Isn't the
size difference amazing? It's like saying that only one of them is a
dick. The other is something completely different. It's like they belong to
different species."

It hurt me to say it was true. That's why I wanted to forget I had a dick
of my own and focus only on Greg.

"You know Greg will always be here for you, but that you can't replace your
dick with him. That's impossible. Do you get it? The only thing you can do
is to forget you have a dick and think of a life without one. No
replacement. This is important for this exercise only. It doesn't mean
you'll think this way forever. But, for now, I need you to imagine a life
without a dick. You're a man without a dick. That happens because, before
Greg, you're nothing. While Greg is everything, you're nothing. Do you
agree?"

"This sounds bad, right?"

"I know. But that's the only way. You don't want the guys turning their
back on you and end up alone and forgotten. This is for your own good."

"I'm nothing. Gosh, look at my dick. It's ridiculous..."

Saying this to my own dick wasn't the worst part of the process. What got
me thinking was why I was still hard? My inner demons had desires and kinks
I couldn't explain.

"You're never to touch it again because it doesn't even exist."

It made sense.

"You'll still feel like touching dicks tough. Every man touches dick. Their
own. As you don't have one, you will touch other cocks, like Greg. You like
masturbating. So, you keep wanking Greg. And every time you do it, you say
you need him. You can't live without him because he's the only thing that
reminds you of a dick. So, what's your dick?"

"Mine is the worst, and Greg is the best. I can't even deny it..."

"I know, but this will help you now. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Do you want to touch him?"

I was used to that. I did like touching Greg. I spat on my hand and started
caressing him. Up and down, slowly at first and then faster. I had to leave
my mouth right on top of his head, so I could keep letting my saliva hit
him.

"I think he likes it." Lee smiled.

I wondered if Lee thought I was being silly doing that, but I liked
it. Touching Greg was helping me to deal with my anxiety. The complicated
feelings related to change and transformation. I was letting an old part of
myself behind and accepting something new in exchange. I just didn't know
what this new self was about, therefore the anxiety. You get in a tunnel
and don't know where the other side is, or how far it is from you. But you
still go. Some people walk alone, but I had Greg. Yeah, that's weird. I
still can't grasp how it works, but that's how important Greg was to me.

"Have you ever wondered what it would look like if he could cum?" Lee asked
me.

"Not really."

"Wouldn't that be nice?"

I didn't think about it because I've never seen Greg as a dick. It looked
like a dick, but it wasn't a dick. But when Lee awoke me to that
possibility, I enjoyed it. I wanted to make Greg cum if that was
feasible. He deserved it.

"Do you think you're prepared to ask Craig to forgive you?" Lee asked.

"I think so."

"And do whatever he asks. I've said it before to you, but I think you're
not listening. It's ok. It takes time to get used to this. Just keep in
mind though that you won't be submissive if you don't learn to follow
orders. You may think you don't want to be submissive, but trust me, you
do. At least, a part of you. I don't know how long more you'll fight it,
but unless you get to acknowledge that part, you will be forever a spoiled
high school boy."

I had that same feeling I had days before. Lee sounded exactly like
Karl. Karl was perhaps a little more incisive and direct, but the voice
sowing seeds in my brain was very similar.

"Send Craig a message and tell him you need to tell him something
important," Lee instructed me.

I let go of Greg and went for my phone. There were messages from Riley and
Bern there. I dismissed them and thought of what to say to Craig and typed
it.

`Hey, man. I'd like to apologize for my behaviour today. Can we talk? Can I
come to your room?'

`Ok, but you better behave.' Craig was quick.

"He's waiting for me," I said to Lee.

"Good, Let's go then. I need to leave too. Good luck."

I was walking out in the dark going to Craig's building complex. I had to
always carry my backpack now because I didn't have pockets anymore. I took
my phone and called someone I hadn't talked to for a long time. At first, I
didn't know why I was calling him, but later I understood. I needed someone
to tell me that what I was doing was gay and, this way, I'd decide to turn
back and stay in my room. I'd probably forget about volleyball and do
something different. Maybe I was meant to live a lonely life. It was the
last chance I was giving my high school personality to survive.

"Hey, it's been a while." I heard his voice.

"Hey, Bob. Sorry, I should have called before..."

"It's ok. Don't worry."

"I've been thinking about the stuff we discussed a long time ago. It's
funny how I can't stop dwelling on this stuff. But I remember you saying
that I was being turned gay by Karl. That what I did was wrong. You told me
many times that Karl was gay, and I insisted you were overthinking it. Now
I think you've been right during all this time. I wanted to apologize. I
was childish..."

There was a brief moment of silence from both sides.

"Actually, I'm the one who needs to apologize," Bob said. "I was blind at
that time by anger, I don't know. I was confused. Karl ain't gay. He's a
great man. And you were never gay for letting your mates cum on you. I
can't imagine what you've been through but now I understand that this is
what bind men together. Men are just like that, and we gotta be proud of
being men. You can't be gay for creating bonds with your mates. That's shit
that the world keeps telling us. That chicks say. Dude, we live in a world
where we can't say no to a woman coz if we do, they tell everyone we're
gay. That's how they try to take our manhood from us. Trust me, you're much
more of a man when you're with your mates covered in cum than when you're
with a chick who despises and makes fun of you."

"Wow, I wasn't expecting this. I called you coz I thought you'd say
something completely different."

"I know. I resisted. I didn't want to see it. But now it's clear to me."

"I don't know if you helped me or if you made my life harder now."

"Well, sometimes harder is better." Bob laughed.

"Maybe, but I think I wanted the easier path."

"It's up to you, bud. Do what you feel it's right. It's all up to you."

At this point, I was at Craig's door. All I had to do was to press that
button and let him know I had arrived.

"So?" Bob asked.

I pressed the button.

"I hope I don't regret this. Talk soon."

"You won't. Follow your heart, and you'll be fine. Bye."

I hanged up and put the phone back in my backpack.

"Who's this?" Craig asked on the other side of the speaker.

"It's Chris."

"Oh, Buns. Second floor."

He opened the door, and I entered his dormitory building. It looked like
mine. Sometimes, only the decorations and the colour of the carpet would
change. I used the stairs to get to the upper level. The numbers of the
rooms followed a sequence that was also equal to mine. I knocked on his
door. Craig opened and let me in.

"So, what's the matter? I hope you came to apologize."

His room was a mess. The furniture was basically the ones I had in my room
too, a light-blue wardrobe, a simple bed, a wood desk, chair, and a bedside
table. He didn't mind letting his clothes scattered on the furniture and
the floor. His bed was unmade and the only light illuminating us was the
one from his bedside lamp.

"Yeah. I know I was a dick." Craig pointed to the bed and I sat over the
quilt squeezed at the bottom. Craig pulled his chair and sat in front of
me.

"Yeah, you were. You were a dick to me and the others. I don't know what's
going on with you, but don't try to blame me for that. And never take it on
the team coz we won't accept behaviour like that. Banger is new to the
team. He may watch you and think it's normal to say shit to us. In no time,
he'll be doing the same. Then what? Then it's our end. Lane would easily
kick us all out starting with me since I'm the captain. So, when you bring
your problems to the team, you bring'em to me. I'm the one who'll take the
responsibility and the one to suffer the consequences."

"I'm really sorry. I think it was the pressure..."

"What pressure, Buns? You live a nice life. You don't struggle with money,
creepy parents, bad grades..."

"Maybe the hazing..."

"What? We cumming on you? Fuck, Buns. Everyone goes through some kind of
hazing here and survives. Besides, it was clear to all of us that you
enjoyed it."

"I enjoyed it? When? How?" I was afraid that they could have judged, based
on my submissiveness, that I liked what they did to me. That seemed to be
confirmed.

"I don't know if you noticed, but sometimes you'd rub your dick through the
pants. Some guys saw you smiling. How wasn't you enjoying that?"

"I didn't do any of that. I swear."

"Well, that's not what we thought. You never complained. You would agree to
whatever we proposed. And, since you've never complained, we didn't
stop. We would if you asked us to let you go."

"No, I... I did it for the team..." Could I forget all these details? Now I
doubted myself. Lots of questions clustering together and blinding me
gradually.

"It's alright, Buns. I'm not feeling like arguing right now. You're here
coz you feel sorry, so now apologize."

"But I apologized already. I'm sorry."

"No. You apologized to me and I forgive you. It's alright. But it's not
only me you attacked in the showers today. You attacked my dick too. I want
you to tell him you're sorry."

"Him who?" It took me two or three seconds to connect the points. "You
can't be serious..."

"I fucking am." Craig stood up and dropped his shorts. He wasn't wearing
underwear, so now I had his soft dick facing me. "Apologize."

"This is sick."

"I don't care. You may think this is sick, but I'm taking this
seriously. Apologize."

"Sorry..."

"No, Buns. Don't look at me. Look at him and do it right. If I can't
believe you, he won't believe you either. Make it sound like you mean
it. You can call him... I don't know...  `Craig junior' if you want."

I thought I was being silly when I played with Greg, but nothing could be
compared to this.

"I'm sorry." I did look down. The situation was unexpected and
embarrassing. I thought eventually Craig would say this was all a joke and
pull his shorts up, but it didn't happen. I tried to sound serious but not
silly. I don't know if that was possible.

"Not enough."

"I'm sorry, ok? I'm sorry." I looked at Craig's dick like I'd look at a
person.

"Not enough."

"Man, I mean, Craig... Junior, I'm sorry, ok? I didn't mean what I said."

"What did you say? Elaborate."

"I said that he..."

"No, you're not talking to me, you're talking to him."

"I said that you weren't that big and that you were not impressive. I was
rude. I didn't mean it. So, please, forgive me. I'm sorry."

"If he's not small, then what is he? Say stuff that will make him feel
better."

I didn't want to talk to Craig's dick. I didn't want to give it adjectives,
but Craig wouldn't let me go. Well, I could have said I wouldn't do this
anymore and left the room. After all, he was the one who suggested it was
up to me to decide whether the situation was unacceptable or not. Still,
the idea that I had such an option didn't cross my mind. Was this a product
of my submissiveness? I couldn't tell because I didn't know what being
submissive meant.

"He's... uh..." I looked down at his dick. "You're big and impressive. I
bet you make all chicks go crazy when you're fucking them. It must feel
amazing too." I looked up. "Is this enough?"

"It sounds better." Craig was satisfied. "Now seal the deal with a
handshake."

"A what?"

"A handshake."

"Dude, dicks don't have hands. Do you mean your hand?"

"Are you talking to me? You shouldn't be talking to me. You're talking to
him. Now, shake him."

"I'm not touching your dick, man. No-sex rule, remember?" I was reminding
the ruler about the rules he created.

"Who do you think I am, Buns? I don't want you to touch my dick either. I
have bitches who do that for me. Unless you're a bitch. Are you a bitch,
Buns?"

"Course not. But you said you want me to shake your dick." I should be
sounding a little stupid, but it wasn't easy to talk to a naked guy who was
stood so close to me. His dick threatened me.

"So, use something to cover him and give him a good and long handshake."

"Use what?"

"I don't know. You can either be creative and use something to cover him,
or you can admit you're a bitch and touch him with your bare hands."

"Can I use a towel or something?"

"What's that, Buns? You come to my place after saying shit about me and my
dick, and now you expect me to help you out? You think too little of
me. It's your duty to think of something and do it right or we ain't
forgiving you."

I didn't have much with me to use on his dick. In my backpack, I had
nothing useful. I didn't even wear undies anymore. But I remembered I had
something that could be useful.

I took off my right shoe and my sock. Craig watched me carefully.

"That's smart. But I hope those socks are clean."

"They are. If you want, you can smell'em."

"You must be kidding, right? Go on then. Dress my cock in your sock."

My hands were shaking. I tried to cover Craig's dick with my sock, but it
wasn't as easy as I had imagined. His soft cock was hanging over the balls
in a position that made it hard to fulfil my task without touching his skin
with my bare hands.

"Maybe this won't work if you don't make him hard first."

"I'm not touching your dick..."

"Fuck, man. Are you stupid or just a virgin? But even virgins should know
better. You watch porn, don't you? You must know you can make a man hard
without touching his cock. There are other areas you can play with that can
do the trick. Have you ever heard of erogenous zones?"

The task that once seemed easy and fast, although detestable, was now
becoming more complicated with long-lasting consequences that I couldn't
see yet.

"It can be fun. The chicks I've fucked have never played with my
body. Yeah, I know, I'm not that experienced either. So, why don't you try
different parts till we find out what works for me?"

"I don't think I understand..."

Craig sat down on his chair after making sure he was totally naked.

"You don't need to touch my dick, which would be sexual as you say, but you
can touch other parts of my body till I get hard. It's never happened to
me, but I can't wait to see what works for me. Try my ears, neck, nipples,
everything."

"That's not right..." I couldn't grasp the purpose of this task.

"Oh, c'mon, Buns." Craig had changed his tone from demanding/authoritarian
to friendly. This was the way he spoke when he first convinced me to accept
to take their jizz on my face, body and even into my mouth. I could say he
knew I'd hardly say `no' to a bud. I hate to admit it, but that's true. It
would be much easier for me to walk out on him if I had Craig yelling at me
than talking smoothly like a friend. If I left him under this new
circumstance, I'd feel guilty and worried I'd lose his `friendship'. No, we
weren't friends, but it was better to have his tortuous sodality than
nothing at all. "Think you're doing this for the team..."

"Sorry, man, but this has nothing to do with the team."

"Of course, it has. You bad mouthed my cock and hurt his feelings. If he is
sad, so am I. What kind of team would we have if we were fighting and
pissed at each other? You gotta make things right now that you screwed up
and the only way is by making Craig Jr. happy again after a good
handshake. I mean, you can shake him right now with your bare hands. I
don't mind. We can terminate the no-sex rule if you and only you ask to. I
don't see any other option for you. You can either come over here and touch
my... let's say, my ear, or my dick. That is after you say you don't want
the no-sex rule anymore. So, what's gonna be?"

Notice he didn't give me a third option that would put me out of his
room. I keep repeating this because it is obvious this was a possibility. I
can see this now. But when I was there in his room, I could not. Just like
I could have asked them to stop hazing me and never did.

I stood up, walked to him, and touched his ear hesitantly. I wasn't sure if
I was doing this right, and somehow, I thought neither did Craig.

"Is it all?" He didn't sound very excited. "I don't understand how some
chicks yell when guys play with their ears when they fuck them. What about
the neck?"

I did the same to his neck. I wasn't caressing him. It was more like
lightly scratching his skin with the tips of my nails up and down.

"Damn. Nothing." Craig didn't seem interested. When I did the same to his
nipples, he complained again. "What's wrong with me? There must have
something wrong with me."

My empathy made me feel sorry for him. I didn't know if I could get hard if
someone touched my ear, neck or nipple, but judging from the way Craig
sounded enthusiastic when he asked me to try it on him, I thought he was
supposed to be feeling something by now.

"My foot?"

I didn't consider any of this disgusting or outrageous. Maybe I would
before my hazing, but not now.

I did the same with his foot and, this time, Craig reacted. I didn't give
him a hardon, but I made him laugh hysterically.

"Stop! Stop!" He begged. He pulled his feet that were then over my
thighs. "This ain't working. If it doesn't work, I gotta say you'll need to
do it the easier way. Give my dick a nice handshake with your smooth bare
hands."

"No way. No-sex rule."

"Damn it! That stupid rule. Don't you think it'd be a good idea to lift
this rule?" I caught the persuasion sound of his voice. The same tone he
used when he convinced me to accept the cum showers. "It'd be a lot easier
if you just took my dick in your hand..."

"No way!" That rule was the only thing that protected me from whatever
those horny guys had in mind. I could fathom what they'd do if I lifted the
rule. I could but wouldn't. What would Zac do if I acted recklessly?

"I don't know... What if you use your tongue? That's how they do in porn."

"Yeah, they do that in porn coz that's sexual..."

"Bullshit! It's not sex if your bare hands, mouth, or asshole ain't
touching our dicks. That's the rule."

"Bullshit!"

"Bullshit? Fuck, buns. I'm the one who came with the no-sex rule idea. One
day, Lane and other coaches asked several team captains to avoid sexual
hazing because it was getting out of control. We stipulated what sex means
in this context. Ask Lane if you want. And we also agreed that the rule
wouldn't apply if the freshman agreed to."

I wouldn't approach Lane to ask him about this rule. Of course not. So, I
took Craig's word as true.

"Actually, we didn't say anything about hands, only mouth and asshole, but
I'm trying to help you here. Oh, and nothing about jizz too. That's why
Lane didn't stop us from cumming on you." Craig continued. "As for licking
or sucking us, well, as long as it's not our dicks, you can put your tongue
wherever we want. So, what's gonna be? Hand on my dick, or tongue in my
ear?"

Again, Craig wasn't giving me all the possible options. Now I think it
makes sense, right? You take a dubious guy and make him think he does have
a choice, but both choices are bad. One option though will always be
slightly better than the other. In this case, tongue in the ear sounded
more admissible than a hand on a dick. Anything that was related to dick
would sound unappealing to a straight boy. I didn't think that licking his
ear would make me gay, but touching his cock was something else.

I sighed before walking to the side of his chair. I've never licked an ear
and didn't know how to do this. I think Craig noticed my hesitation. He
turned the side of his head to me and offered his ear to my tongue.

"I don't know how it works. Try to lick inside and let's see what
happens. Don't worry, my ear is clean. My whole body is."

He must have mentioned his `whole body' because he predicted I'd end up
licking it all. As usual, I didn't think about it though. I put my lips
over his ear and stuck my tongue out of my mouth. In fact, his ear was
clean. It didn't taste like anything in particular.

"Oh, that ain't too bad," Craig commented.

I noticed that whenever I exhaled and my warm breath hit his saliva-coated
ear, he'd squeeze his neck. I looked at his dick. It was coming to life.

"Fuck, buns. This is good." I was glad to notice this would be enough to do
the trick, but Craig had other plans. "But you don't want to get me hard
now."

"Course I do." He turned his head to where I was standing. I stepped back
and saw a grin widening on his face. "I mean, you get hard and then we
finish this already."

"Ok, let me rephrase this. We don't want me to get hard now. I know I don't
want to. So, here's the deal. You can get me hard by licking my ear, or you
can come back here and lick my nipples. I'd rather have you licking my
nipples. That would make me happy, Buns. Do you want to make me happy? You
don't want to leave me here frustrated and unsatisfied, right? I'm sure you
don't."

"You could have a chick doing that for you. We can arrange that..."

"No, I want you. You are my teammate. You are the one trying to find a spot
among us. Yeah, I could find a chick who'd do this for me, but I want you."

Craig was testing me. He wanted to know how far I was willing to go for the
team. I thought everything they did to me had to be connected to the
team. And to be honest, I didn't know my limits either. I could be more
hesitant maybe, but the idea that the hazing had a no-sex rule somehow
eased my doubts. The problem is I didn't know what sex meant under this
context. It may sound ridiculous but it's true. I've had guys rubbing their
dicks against my face and lips before, but that wasn't sex. It shouldn't
be. Licking Craig's ears wasn't sex either. The same should apply to his
nipples. If Craig and I were on the same page, we would cross the sex
bounders once I had his dick in my hands, mouth, or asshole. The problem
then should be only one: it was disgusting to lick another dude. I didn't
want to do that even if it wasn't sex.

Craig was still watching me. My silence was an indication that I could
agree with him. I wanted to make him happy even if I disgusted myself over
his body.

"Buns, it's just my nipples. It's not even hairy."

That's true. His nipples were smooth. He only had hair in the middle of the
chest.

"It's weird, man. Guys don't do that with other guys. I mean, straight
guys. Why would you want me to do that?"

"I'm not talking about guys here. This has nothing to do about being gay or
straight either. I'm talking about teammates. Not only that. I'm talking
about a submissive man who's willing to do what feels natural to him. He
wants to serve. He needs to make other people happy. He's not thinking
about men or women. It doesn't matter, right?"

"Submissive?" Hearing this word coming from Craig's mouth was
unexpected. Did he talk with Lee? It wasn't possible. Why would Lee and
Craig talk about me? So, if that was not the case, it meant Craig also knew
my nature. Was it that obvious? I myself didn't know that but apparently,
everyone else did.

"Didn't you know you are submissive, Buns? After all those guys cumming on
your body... after Juan's kisses. The dude treats you like a bitch, and
it's obvious you enjoy it."

"I don't..." Did I?

"Oh, c'mon. You got hard after that kiss in the locker room. You don't need
to lie to me. It doesn't mean you're gay. It means you're
submissive. That's alright. All of us are a little submissive or
dominant. Ones more than the others, but it's totally normal."

"I don't know about that..."

"Well, you should. Wanna see? I say it again then. Come here and lick my
nipples. I ain't forcing you. I'll just say that if you do, you'll make me
so fucking happy. You want to make me happy, don't you? Just be honest with
yourself and you'll be cool."

Yes, I wanted to make him happy, but I didn't want to become gay for that.

Craig stood up and put his hand on the back of my head. Slowly, he pulled
me closer to his body until my mouth touched his right nipple.

"Just lick it, Buns. It's cool. You'll make me so happy."

And I did it. I kept saying to myself it wasn't sex, so it couldn't be
gay. No way. It'd be gay if I were licking his dick.

"Oh, that's not too bad either." He didn't say another word about me being
submissive, but he's proved his point. I liked to know I could make him
happy as he'd suggested. I don't know how long I've been there, but it
should be more than just a few seconds. "But I don't think this is for
me. Look, my dick isn't getting hard."

I opened my eyes and checked it. He was right. His dick was totally
limp. I'd dare to say he was more excited with my tongue in his ear than on
his nipple.

"Why don't we try another part? I'd love to feel you touching my feet
again. Would you do that for me?"

Craig pushed me and I fell on his bed once again. He sat back on his chair
and quickly put his right foot over my thighs. I took it half-consciously.

"Touch it?" I asked.

"Yeah. But don't just scratch it with your fingers. What about a foot
massage? Take it with both hands and press it with your fingers. I'm sure
that'll feel nice."

I was still a little thoughtful when my hands started rubbing his big
foot. His fingers were long and so masculine. I could feel his muscles and
bones with my meaty fingers. Craig put his arms behind his head and slid to
the edge of the chair making himself comfortable. He closed his eyes and
relaxed.

I looked at him and saw his limp dick getting a little fatter and longer. I
had no doubt he was enjoying this.

"Man, this is the best so far. I wonder how nice it'll feel when you lick
it."

"Lick your foot?"

"Sure." He kept his eyes shut. "Just like you did with my nipples."

"I don't know about that."

"What are you talking about?" He opened his eyes and set them on me. "You
can't be serious. Is it alright to lick my ear and nipple but not my foot?"

"Lick your foot?"

"Tell me what's wrong with that. You can't even say they're dirty coz
they're as clean as the rest of my body, maybe even more than my
ears. Check it."

He brought his foot to my face and squeezed my nose with his fingers.

"I bet it smells like soap, right?"

"Yeah..." I used my hands to push his foot back, but Craig insisted, and
his fingers were now touching my lips.

"Let my toe in. You don't need to do anything, just open your mouth, and
let it in. C'mon, Buns. This is so fucking nice. Look, my dick is getting
harder already."

I was so focused on Craig's foot I didn't notice his dick. He was right. It
should be half-mast now.

"You're making me so happy, Buns. Really. You're the best. Now be a good
boy and open your mouth. This is totally cool."

I felt like saying I didn't want to do that, but I couldn't open my
mouth. Could I? It's hard for me to explain what was happening to me at
that moment. I didn't have anything against my back. I could have moved
back and out from that position. I could have pushed Craig away from
me. But nothing of that crossed my mind. The question I could never answer
is why. Was I afraid I'd upset Craig? His possible anger scared me? Or
maybe I was worried I wouldn't make him happy if I did so?

Another question started haunting me after that episode: what does it mean
to make someone happy? It may seem obvious at first, but it's not.

Suddenly, Craig stood up and pulled me by the t-shirt. I was back on my
feet. We were facing each other. Face to face. I took the opportunity to
clean my lips with the back of my hand.

"Lie down." He ordered.

"Where?"

"On the floor."

"Why?"

"This way it'll be easier for you to lick my feet. I can sit down and just
leave my foot over your face."

I hadn't done that yet and wasn't willing to try, but it didn't matter to
him.

"I don't know if I wanna do that, man."

"So, tell me, why did you lick my nipples? What's wrong with my foot? Is
the problem only my foot?"

I didn't know why his feet disgusted me, but they did. It's simply how
things are, right? Almost all of us have hair on the head and have no
problem with it whatsoever until we find it on the desk, over the bed or
anywhere else. We react to it even if we don't know why. That's what
happens to feet, I guess.

"I think so," I answered.

"Oh, is that so? Ok, so try on this." Craig held my head with his left hand
and pressed his right thumb against my lips. "Open your mouth, Buns. This
is just my finger, and it's clean too." As I resisted, Craig lost his
temper. "Buns, just say `aaah' and it will be over soon. The longer you
fight, the longer this will continue."

It was getting clear to me that Craig wouldn't let me go without first
having his fingers sucked. Such realization led me to relax my facial
muscles and jaw. Craig's thumb touched my tongue and caressed the inner
walls of my mouth.

"You've got a nice mouth, Buns. Thick and juicy lips." His fingers played
with my lips as he spoke. "Now, tell me, is this gay to you? Seriously, be
honest with me. Do you feel you're less of a man now that you have my
fingers in your mouth?"

Craig released my head and withdrew the fingers from my mouth.

"Not really." To be honest, I didn't feel anything had changed.

"Good. Now, will you lie down or leave me unhappy here? It's your choice
really."

He stepped back as if showing me my way to the door. It was up to me to do
as he wanted or show myself out. I thought of Zac when he said I was acting
like a boring high school boy for being so uptight and reserved. I was
feeling defeated. Not because Craig had won, but because I was realizing
that my excuses were nothing but simple excuses. They didn't mean anything
to these guys. Hiding behind them was turning me into a pussy and not
helping me to be a member of the team as I wanted.

I thought of Craig as the team's captain. It would do me good to please
him. That ought to be a lie, but that's what I thought before lying down on
the floor. From this angle, I had a better view of his cock hanging over
his balls as if facing me.

Craig sat down on his chair again and planted his right foot on my face
promptly. Probably, he didn't want to give me time to think about what was
going on.

"You're aware that I won't make your life in the team any easier just
because you decided to lick my feet, right? More than that, I'll kick you
out of the team if you can't be a good libero. That's my role as the team's
captain, and your tongue on my feet won't change that. So, this ain't a
bribe. You're not doing me a favour." I couldn't see his face with his foot
covering my face. I didn't know why he was talking about this. His right
toe was back on my lips when the left foot covered my eyes. "But you're
pleasing me a LOT. And this will be even better when you start licking my
feet. C'mon, let my toe in."

Now I understood why he had to talk about the team. Craig needed to make
sure I knew I was licking his feet because I wanted to please him and not
because I expected him to help me in the future. I'd be lying to myself if
I imagined I was doing that for him in exchange for any sort of benefit. I
knew that already. My previous experiences, including the ones with Lee,
Bern, Zac, Juan and the rest of the team led me to conclude that I was on
the floor because I wanted to. With that in mind, I opened my mouth. His
toe rested on my tongue. Craig didn't say a word. I panicked at first, but
the longer it remained there, the more secure I felt. As it's happened with
his thumb before, I realized that his toe wouldn't turn me gay either. That
conclusion assured me it was ok to go on. I moved my tongue around his
finger at first and then closed my lips around the intruder.

"That's good, Buns," Craig spoke out. His toe was moving in and out of my
mouth like a fucking stick. "Lick and suck the other fingers too."

One by one, I licked all the five of them before he moved his other foot
onto my lips. He interchanged one with the other. When I got his right toe
into my mouth again, his saliva-coated left foot returned to my forehead
and spread my own fluids on my face. I didn't stop and soon found out the
magic spot that made Craig happy. He moaned loudly when I licked the space
between the fingers. I think that was the first time I understood what it
meant to please another person and how good it made me feel.

"Fuck. That's awesome. Don't stop." He didn't need to ask twice. I wanted
to see how I could make that guy moan with the simple touch of my tongue. I
tried to see his face, but I still couldn't. I could however see his
cock. And it was hard. It's difficult to explain how happy I felt with that
achievement. How I could have this power over someone else's body. It was
incredible.

Craig bent his body forward and I could finally see his face. He removed
his feet from my face and put his right hand into my open mouth. I did what
seemed natural to me and licked his hand fingers.

"The palm too" I wouldn't fight him for something that seemed so little.

I didn't understand why he wanted me to lick and suck his hand fingers
until I saw him sitting back straight and holding his cock with the hand I
covered with my saliva. He started jerking off when he placed his feet back
on my face and in my mouth. That was not the idea. But what was the plan
after all? How did I end up lying down on the floor? I couldn't remember
and didn't try to.

"Buns, this feels so good. And your mouth is just perfect. Fuck, if I only
knew this before. Focus between the fingers. Stick your tongue in
there. Yeah, that's it."

Craig continued jerking off for another minute or so and then he offered me
his right hand again. This time though, I decided not to obey. Was he
stretching my limits too much?

"You were holding your dick with that hand." I protested feebly.

"So what? You've had cum in your mouth already. I may have some pre in my
hand, but that's not like you haven't tried this before. Besides, I've
heard that pre tastes better than cum. You can give it a try for me."

"But, Craig..."

"Fuck, Buns. What's your problem? Will you put me down now? If you don't
lick my hand now, I'll go soft and it'll be your fault."

This situation reminded me of Zac and our messages to Riley. I didn't want
to let another friend down. That's what I thought at that moment. These
guys couldn't be my friends, but that's how I pictured them. The reason is
unclear, but maybe because they were the only people I have around me for
months. That sense of isolation contributed to my dependence on them and
hindered my judgments.

I think Craig had caught a good glob of pre with his thumb because that's
what I tasted first. When his finger touched my lips, it was totally wet. I
shut my eyes as I tried to make him aware of my disgust. I don't think it
worked.

"I bet it's not that bad. You've had actual cum in your mouth and it never
looked like a big problem for you. Truth be said, you actually dealt with
that way better than any other straight guy would. So, quit the drama and
show how my pre makes you good."

I wish I could contest him, but it wasn't possible. I opened my eyes and
found his face not far from mine. Once I had his hand covered in saliva, he
took it back to his dick. "Thank me for feeding you my pre, Buns."

"You want me to... What?"

"Thank me for letting you swallow my pre."

"Why would I? You forced me to."

"I don't think I did." He put his right foot over my face again. "If I
remember well, I even showed you the door when you decided to lie down on
my floor. Am I wrong? I gave you options, and you're there because you
chose to. Now, if you swallowed my pre, that's because you wanted to, and I
let you."

"Quit the bullshit, Craig."

It took him a few seconds to reply to me. During that time, he continued
jerking off and his feet didn't stop moving up and down my face.

"C'mon, Buns. We're just having a good time together. If you don't like
this, then just pretend you do. I bet that when we unloaded on your face,
you used to pretend nothing of that was happening. Am I right? I must
be. You ain't gay, so if you let us do what we did, it means you should be
pretending. And you pretended so well, we all thought you liked that."

"I didn't..."

"See? But you made it look like you did. All I'm asking of you is for you
to pretend again. It'll be so hot. Just think you're acting as you've done
before. Thank me for feeding you my pre. It'll make me cum much faster."

I wanted to make him cum. I'd never touch his dick or directly stimulate
his genital, but to think I could contribute to his orgasm was exciting. I
thought it was wrong and indecent, but I liked that. It was like the time I
was thinking of sending pictures of my ass to Riley. The idea that I could
offer her visual material for a possible orgasm. That was also like what I
felt when I showed Bern my ass. They had different intensities but came
from the same source. That feeling was strong and overpowering. I enjoyed
it and that's what scared me. How far would I go to feel that?

"Thanks," I said.

"Elaborate, Buns. Besides, speak louder as if you really mean it. Do it
again."

Craig was jerking off at a faster pace. Was he about to cum?

"Thanks for feeding me your pre."

"Did you like the taste?"

Did I? I don't think it tasted anything. I remained silent.

"If you don't know what to answer, just pretend you liked it. But if you
need to pretend, make me believe you're not pretending. Say and do whatever
as if you mean it. Try to think about what I want to listen to and say it
to me. I think I'll always want you to say yes to whatever I ask. Can you
do that for me?"

"Yes, the taste was great."

"What about cum? Do you like cum?"

"Yeah. I love cum." I didn't think I did, but I was willing to see how I
could please that guy with the words I uttered.

"So here we go. Take it."

It was all too fast, but he was instantly on his knees beside me. His dick
inches from my face when he unloaded on my face. My mouth that was open
because of his feet playing with my lips remained open. He aimed his dick
onto my tongue and squirted six volleys of thick cream. It's been a while
since I last felt cum in my mouth, but I knew what to do. I pushed it out
with my tongue and looked back to Craig who didn't seem totally happy. He
should be, right? I gave him an orgasm after all. I didn't understand.

"If you say you love cum, then you need to swallow cum."  "I don't do
that."

"But you should."

"You asked me to pretend. I was pretending."

"So, pretend better. I said you should make me believe in you. How can I
think you're being honest if you say you love cum but don't swallow it?"

"Because saying is different from doing. I don't swallow cum."

"Oh, you don't?" Craig sat back on his chair. "I remember seeing a lot of
guys cumming in your mouth..."

"But I never swallowed..."

"Really? Dude, you know you did. You can push that cum out of your
mouth. You can push ninety or so per cent out of your mouth but not all of
it. You've been swallowing cum for months, and I don't think it ever
bothered you. Now you can't swallow mine. That's outrageous. Really. You're
such a disappointment, Buns. Get out."

I was feeling bad about that situation. I promptly stood up and left.

I got into my room and lay on my bed. I was upset but no because of the
stuff Craig said to me. I was angry at myself. I couldn't understand why,
but I knew I was pissed because I was stupid. I decided to text Lee. He
should know what I was feeling. He always did.

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/gay/college/ranchs-bitch/ (ongoing)

/gay/college/from-straight-to-bitch-club (ongoing)

/gay/authoritarian/becoming-my-flatmates-bitch/ (ongoing)

/gay/highschool/a-bitchs-birth (complete)