Date: Sat, 07 Jul 2001 23:43:49 +0800 From: "solark36@yahoo.co.uk" Subject: Hartford 15 part 12 Disclaimer: This story is entirely fictional and not intended for minors or those judged unable by law to read this material. Any resemblance to actual people is purely coincidental and not intended. The author reserves all rights to this work. 15 HARTFORD The story so far: Michael's work schedule had been very tight and he was usually very tired. The couple decided to allow Michael more time for his studies. Before Christmas, they were able to be together at least once a week, but after Christmas, even once a week was not possible. Martin advised Michael to concentrate on his studies; they had all the time after that. Nine weeks later, Michael visits Martin at the workshop to find out that he had been transferred. Part 12 - Bad News Gabriel Duncan managed to locate the whereabouts of Martin McBain. He was quite curious as to why Mrs. Sally Taylor would want to know this bit of information. She was quite anxious over the telephone that afternoon. He reached his home and got in through the back door. "G'd evenin' Mom," he called as he entered the kitchen. "G'd evening, son." Mrs. Duncan was quite busy cooking dinner. "Good. You can keep Will company, Gabe. He arrived this afternoon and has been watching the telly since. I tried to talk to him, but he did not really want to talk to me. He was polite, but ..." Gabe sighed. "Sorry, Mom. I think he's a little depressed. He's like that, way from when we were teenagers, he would get depressed and quiet for a while but when he snaps out of it, he is as outgoing as ever." "I think it's called the generation gap. Your father is not back yet. Probably got stuck in the pub again. I hope he makes it back for dinner." Mrs. Duncan said. "I'm sure he will." Gabe kissed his mother on the cheek. "I'll probably bring Will up to the club for some exercise. We should be back before dinner." "I know you will. It's your normal routine. It's your father that I am not sure about," his mother said with a smile. Gabe went into the living room and saw Will sitting in front of the television set. The 'Telly-tubbies' was on. "C'mon Will, let's go to the club for some exercise. I'm sure you've outgrown the Telly-tubbies!" "No, Gabe. I'll watch the telly." "What's the matter?" "Nothing's the matter." "Then get your arse out of the chair and go and do some weights or the treadmill with me. I need the company. Then we may even have time to try the new jacuzzi the club has just installed." "Ian will be there, you don't need me," Will replied without even turning his head to look at Gabe. "Ian's at his aunt's. Some big birthday celebration for two days. He left this morning and so he won't be here. I thought I was going to exercise alone. Now, help out your favourite cousin, won't you?" "Well, alright!" Will replied with a certain reluctance in his voice. Gabe did not bother with what Will was feeling. Will was always having these mood swings. Exercise would at least get the blood pumping and then Will would not feel so down. "I'm going to call Sally first and then change. Why don't you change first and wait for me?" "Can't calling Sally wait until we come back?" "She sounded rather anxious. She wanted to know where Martin McBain was. Seems he had himself transferred and not even Sally knew where he was transferred to." At the mention of Martin, Will's eyes got bigger momentarily before he turned away. Gabe noticed this and said, "I saw that! Why is everyone getting worked up over Martin McBain anyway?" Will debated with himself in his mind whether to tell his cousin the news. He decided to. "Gabe, before you call Sally, I think there is something you need to know." "Uh?" "Sit down, cuz, I think this might shock you a little." Gabe had never seen Will so serious before. He sat down at the couch facing the telly. WIll looked around to see if there was anyone else listening. When he was certain that Mrs. Duncan was still cooking, he sat down beside Gabe and said in a low voice, "Gabe, you'd probably hit me, but I am going to risk it. ... I'm gay." Gabe sat there wide-eyed. His face was expressionless and he did not make any movement. Will began to regret saying what he just said. He was going to stand up when Gabe finally said something. "Tell me something that I don't know." "You know?" Will asked in surprise. "I've known since we were sixteen that you were queer and that you'd probably had a crush on me or something." Gabe's voice was audible but soft and yet without any hint of emotion. "How?" "Remember that one time you touched my dick through my shorts when I was asleep?" "Yes?" "Well, I wasn't asleep. When I awoke, I saw you staring from your bed. I kept my eyes almost closed so that I could see roughly what you were doing. You came to my bed and wrapped your hand on my dick. I wasn't about to let you jack me and so I just groaned and pretended to get up. You jumped a bit and then pretended nothing happened." "You never said anything. You never confronted me or anything." "Look Will, I knew you were queer but you were also my best cousin and friend. So long as you did not jump me, I was willing to let you be yourself. I never said anything because I thought that you would tell me one day. I'm just a little surprised that it took you so long to tell me." Will buried his face in his hands, "Gabe, my work has given me the opportunity to move around and meet many people. I have not been a really innocent guy; I've been sleeping around. Yesterday, I was transferred to London and I was tested HIV positive." Will was looking down and away from Gabe when he said the last sentence. "WHAT?!" Gabe exclaimed. "Please don't shout," Will said with tears in his eyes. Gabe calmed down. He knew that having his mother coming into the room now was not going to help. However, his face was flushed and he was angry. "What's going on in there?" Mrs. Duncan called from the kitchen. "Will just told me a joke!" Gabe answered as calmly as he could. "Thanks Gabe," Will said quietly. "What do you mean you're HIV positive. You've got AIDS?" Gabe asked as calmly as he could. However Will knew that Gabe was going to explode any moment. "I haven't got AIDS, not yet anyway. I've been exposed to the virus. The anti-discrimination legislation means that I cannot be sacked from my work, and I need to have treatment. The company doctor has recommended me a clinic to go to." "When ... Where ... Why ... Weren't you using rubbers?" Gabe asked, with each word sounding in a higher pitch. "I didn't think it would happen to me. I was careful when I was with the boy prostitutes but I wasn't too careful with the casual partners I met in the bars and clubs. According to the doctor, I was exposed at least four months ago. My last test was negative because it was done too soon after infection and the results were not accurate." Gabe hugged his cousin. He had read quite a bit about the disease and he was knew he would not catch it by hugging. Furthermore, he knew his cousin needed a hug. Will pulled away after a few moments and continued, "I think I need to speak to Martin personally. Slightly more than a month ago, I had oral sex with him. It is possible that he could also be infected." Gabe's eyes widened. He never thought of Martin as a homosexual. Will continued, "Look, it was my fault. Five Saturdays ago, I popped down to the club and met him. I had developed a liking for him. We were in the showers when I decided to move in on him. I was very horny that day. I surprised him from behind and gave his dick a few strokes. He turned and was very shocked. I did not give him time to respond. I knelt down and sucked him. At first he protested and tried to get me to leave, but I told him that he must have been enjoying it tremendously as his dick was really hard. Any way, I had him shooting in minutes. That must have been his first encounter." "Will, you are saying you seduced him, or pratically raped him?" "I wouldn't called it rape because he did not put up much of a fight." "But he did say no." "Alright then! I admit that I probably victimised him. But I think he needs to know that he has been exposed to the virus." Gabe sat there, wondering what to do at this juncture. This was a new development. Gabe's mind started to work furiously. He had to tell Sally something, but he also needed to tell Martin. This bit of news was not going to make Martin more communicable. "I'll call Sally first and then we try to call up Martin." Gabe called Sally and told her that Martin had been transferred to Edinburgh to start a new workshop there. He only told her Martin's office address, giving the excuse that the phones were being installed and the numbers were not ready yet. Actually, Gabe had Martin's home telephone number. He decided that Martin should know about his 'condition' before he gave any more information to Sally. He dialled Martin's number and passed the telephone to Will. It rang for quite a while before Martin picked up the call. "Hello," Martin answered. His voice was quite guarded. "Hi there Martin, it's me, Will ..." There was a click on the phone and Will looked surprised. Gabe said, "After what you did to him, I am surprised he did not scold you first. Let me try." Martin did not pick up the phone. Gabe decided to wait a while, perhaps to let Martin cool down a little before calling again. Martin was never angry as a supervisor because it was never personal. What Will did was very personal and it was no surprise to Gabe that Martin reacted the way he did. "What are your plans now, Will?" he turned to his cousin and asked. "Aren't you trying again?" "We'll try again a little later when we've let him cool down a little. I asked you about your plans?" Will just shook his head. "What plans can I make? I've destroyed my life and possibly Martin's life and those of some other people. What plans can I make?" "Look Will, you don't know when the disease will show itself. It may be days, it may be weeks, or it may be years. Putting yourself down like this is not going to make it easier or better. Take whatever time you have left to live. You don't know how short or how long it is going to be. You have your drugs to help you. You may live a healthy life for many years yet!" Gabe continued to encourage his cousin. Actually, Gabe was not too hopeful himself. The disease isn't just physical. Many people were still very afraid of the disease. Will would have a horrible time because people who were ignorant and afraid would reject him on account of the disease. However, letting him slip into a depression was going to make matters worse. Gabe tried calling Martin about twenty minutes later. It took about a minute before Martin answered the telephone. "Hi, Martin, this is Gabriel Duncan." "Hi, Gabe. Are you calling on behalf of your cousin? If you are, you are wasting your time, I do not want to speak to him." "Look Martin, Will told me what he did and it was wrong for him to do it. He wants to apologise ..." "I don't want to speak to him." Gabe could sense the anger in Martin's voice. He quickly continued, "I won't let him speak to you then but there is something you need to know. Now Martin, please don't excite yourself. It is not good news. Martin, Will was tested HIV positive. He has been infected with HIV. This was probably four months ago, before he did what he did to you. There's a chance that you may also be infected. The best thing to do is to go for a HIV test as soon as possible and consult the doctor regarding this. If the present test is negative, you may have to take another test two or three months from now to confirm that you don't have the virus." There was a silence at the other end. Martin did not say a single thing. "Martin, are you still there. I know it is shocking news, but I am not playing a prank. I know you were victimised and ..." "Gabe," Martin's voice was shaky. "I heard what you've said. I need some time alone now. Thank you for your call. Thank you. Good bye!" There was a click and the call ended. Gabe never made it to the club that night. ----- Sally was not really happy with Gabe. Still, she supposed he did his best. After dinner with Donald, she mentioned about Martin's transfer and all she got was an address. She noticed that Donald did not say anything. Donald was a quiet man as opposed to the talkative woman Sally was. He was a loving man but was firm when the situation demanded it. Sally knew that she could count on Donald for anything and yet would not take advantage of him because she loved him. She brushed her thoughts from her mind as she continued her dinner. "You were thinking, Sally. Could you share your thoughts with me?" Donald suddenly asked. Sally knew that she could not fib. Donald always knew when she fibbed. He might not confront her directly, but he would show somehow that he knew. She thought that this time she would be frank. "I was thinking about us. I don't know how you can sit there and take my talking. You are not afraid of me, that's for sure, and yet you endure my chattiness. Knowing that you put up with me makes me love you more." Donald just smiled, "I love you Sally. Sometimes I think I don't say it enough. Yet, I feel that if I did so to often, the words would lose its meaning and effect." Sally smiled but kept quiet. Donald was right. If she had heard him everyday saying those words, she would get used to them very fast and later would not have any significance to her. "Now, look who is quiet?" Donald teased. "Do you know that the more a married couple stays together, the more they grow to be like each other?" Sally asked. "Don't change the subject, Sally ..." Donald said flashing a grin that told her that Donald was correct. "Oh alright. You are correct. What you said is so true." "Thanks Sally. You always speak your mind. That's one of the things I love about you. Now, you were talking about Mr. McBain. You mean that young man Watson has left him for a younger man?" Sally almost choked on the piece of potato that she had put into her mouth. "How ... how did you know about them. I am sure I did not say a word about them to you." "You did not have to tell me. I know we are not supposed to keep secrets but I understand why you had to keep this from me. I could tell. When I spent those two years in the United States getting my Masters, I had a course mate who was gay. We became quite good friends and I noticed that was how his boyfriend and he were looking at each other." "You had a gay course mate? I'm suprised he did not try to 'get' you." "Actually, he already had a boyfriend. I guess I am perceptive about these things. I noticed one day that he was not his usual self. I asked him and he poured out his life and his problems with his boyfriend to me. Until then, I did not know that he was gay. I know he tried to seduce me that night, but I laid the rules straight. I was his friend. If he valued our friendship, he should not make use of me on the rebound." "You were straight to the point, like always," Sally sighed. "Then what happened?" "He apologised. We talked through the night. I spent the night with a gay man. He was quite good-looking, in fact." "Were you attracted to him?" Sally ventured. "As a person, of course. He was a very caring person. I know what you are getting at, Sally. I wasn't the bit interested in him romantically nor sexually. Was I curious? No. I had enough reading material in my psych minor to tell me about homosexuality." Donald looked at Sally who had a slight scowl because she could not get a chance to make fun of him here. "Anyway, after I found out who his boyfriend was, I gave him some advice and he took it. Then they got back together and that's how I notice the way they acted. It is the same way that the young man acts towards Mr. McBain. In fact, it was very apparent at Mrs. McBain's funeral." "Yes, that's when I discovered it too. I had thought that Mr. McBain was trying to court Michael's mother." "So they have split up?" "It would seem so. However, your mistake, great detective husband of mine, is that Martin seems to be the one who has flown away. It is the young Michael who has been left alone." "What happened?" "Due to work schedules and stuff, they had not been able to meet. Three weeks ago, another supervisor appeared and we were told that Martin had been transferred. Then this afternoon, at lunch, Michael appeared, looking for Martin. He did not even know his lover had left town. He was devastated. I managed to call Gabe, you know, the one who is dating Francine. Anyway, Gabe found out that Martin is in Edinburgh but only gives me the address. I need a telephone number but apparently the workshop there doesn't have a telephone yet. Isn't this strange? I know that if I give the address to Michael, he will surely go straight to Edinburgh but I don't think he should be missing his last few weeks of lessons. He's so close to graduating you know? I wish I could do something ..." "it is strange that the workshop doesn't have a telephone. Give me the address, I may be able to find out some things using the internet." About half an hour later, after both of them had washed the plates and cutlery, Donald logged on the internet. Sally was sitting there in awe. She had been on the internet before, but she did not know about checking telephone numbers. Donald was surprising her every day! "Got it! That's the number of the office and that's the number of Mr. McBain's home in Edinburgh." Sally kissed her husband. "Donny, you are the greatest!" she squealed. "Wait a minute. Are you just going to give the number to Michael?" Donald asked with a tone of concern. "Of course! I am sure Martin and he could resolve whatever is between them." "I think that it might not be a good idea, darling," Donald replied. "Why not? I think I have helped enough. I know I am a busybody sometimes, I think this is one place where I have to draw the line. I cannot become the middleman or middlewoman here." "I think you'd better be. The situation may not be that simple. Find out why Mr. McBain left in the first place without telling his lover. It might throw some light to the situation. Then it would be easier to see if you should give the number to Michael." "But I promised." "You promised you'd help. If you give the number straight to Michael, you may be causing more problems." "I guess you are right." Sally dialled the number of Martin's house in Edinburgh. The telephone rang for almost a minute before Martin answered, "Look Gabe ...," he began. "It's Sally, Martin." "Oh, Sorry. How did you get my number?" "It was listed. Donald helped me look it up and that's how I got your number." "But it is not in the telephone directory, is it? "Not in the printed one, but it is on the internet." "Oh. What can I do for you, is it to do with your baby?" "No, it is more serious than that. This afternoon, Michael came looking for you ..." "Tell him you don't know where I am!" "Martin, be serious. If I could get it from the internet, wouldn't he be able to, too?" There was a silence. Sally decided to continue, "He is heart broken Martin. He doesn't know why you did not tell him. Give him a call, at least, please?" "No! You don't understand. No one will ever understand." "Please Martin, talk to me. If you don't tell me, how will you know if I understand or not?" "Sally, you are a normal person. I'm abnormal. I'm queer. How can a normal person understand what a man like me?" "Martin, calm down. Just let me listen." Sally's voice was growing concerned. Donald came beside her and mouthed, "Let me speak to him." "Look, Martin, Donald has had some friends who are gay. Perhaps, talking to him may help." "You mean he knows?" Martin almost broke down on the phone. His world was breaking down round him. "As I said, he had gay friends and he realised that Mike and you were together. I swear that I did not tell him." Donald quickly took the telephone from Sally and said, "Mr. McBain. Please don't do this to yourself and to Michael. There are many ups and downs in any relationship. Sally and I will attest to this." "Donald," Martin said after a pause. "It was simple in the beginning. Now it has become very complicated. I'll just say it because I don't think things can get any worse. Donald, I had sex with another man. I broke my commitment to Michael. How can I expect him to forgive me? Furthermore, I've just found out that the man I had sex with is HIV positive. Not only is the stigma of being gay with me. I have now the scourge of AIDS. How can I ask him to forgive me? He is a young man, full of life. I have betrayed his trust and I now cannot have sex with him. I am now just excess baggage. How can I ask him to take me back?" Donald could hear Martin sobbing in the background. Donald had a loss for words. He was too surprised at this development. He collected his thoughts quickly. He knew that Martin needed to talk. He knew that if Martin was left alone for too long, the depression that was starting to form was going to make Martin suicidal. He mentally noted what his schedule was. He was only free the following day. He was trying to sort out whether he should go or not when he realised that Martin had stopped weeping. "Mr. McBain, I think I need to come to see you face to face. Do you think you could wait till Wednesday? I would like you to face tomorrow bravely and then take Wednesday off. I have your home address. Do you think that you could wait for me? If Sally is able to, both of us will come to see you. Do you think you can wait for us?" "Why do you want to see me? Aren't you afraid of getting AIDS too? You've got a baby coming. I have destroyed two lives already. I am a jinx. I don't need your pity. I wouldn't want to be responsible for another three lives." Martin said bitterly. "Look Mr. McBain. Sally and I are your friends. When a friend is down, one cannot sit by and watch him go lower. You are our friend. There is absolutely no risk of us catching anything. Tell you what, we'll come tomorrow evening to see you. We'll meet you at the workshop at about five. Please don't think of doing anything rash." Martin chuckled. It was a cynical chuckle. "What do you think I am going to do? I am a coward. I daren't face the one I love. Do you think I dare to kill myself? I'm too much of a coward to do that. If you want to see me, then fine. I'll see you at five tomorrow, for all the good it will do." Once the telephone connection was broken, Donald said to Sally, "We have to act quickly if we are to salvage the situation ..." ----- Gabe had forgotten what it was like to lie to Sally McKinley. She was a Taylor now, but she still had McKinley blood in her. She had casually asked if he had talked to Martin. When he replied in the negative, he felt the fury of her words. Sally was easy-going and rarely got annoyed. However, if she ever got angry, then one had to face a raging tempest. She never got angry when she had done something wrong. She would only lash out when she was right and the other party wasn't. She did not shout nor scream nor swear. She just used simple words in a highly imaginative manner with a very stern tone, just a bit above her normal volume. It was no use trying to outdo her when she was right. And if she was really in her element, one should just endure the fury until it died down. Gabe had to endure about fifteen minutes of Sally's wrath before he was allowed to speak. He was eventually 'coaxed' to reveal how everything he knew about Martin. Sally was surprised that it was Gabe's cousin who had been the cause of this mess from the beginning. One thing about Sally, unlike most women who carried their hurts with them, she would immediately become the good friend she was. It was almost as if she unloaded her hurts in that discourse she would give and then start empty! Then, Sally revealed the relationship between Martin and Michael. Gabe was very surprised. However, it made sense why Sally had been so eager to know Martin's whereabouts. "Tell your cousin that he has made two very loving people very sad and miserable with his one foolish act. Michael is much younger than Will and yet Michael understands the meaning of true love. It is gay people like Will that make it so difficult for gays like Michael and Martin to be accepted. All Martin and Michael wants is to be able to be with one another. Gays like your cousin only want to have fun. They never consider the extent of the damage they cause when they disregard the wishes of the one they come on to." Gabe had wanted to defend WIll, but thought better of it. He would have to speak personally face-to-face to Sally about Will and his story. "I know, Sally. He is miserable now. All he thought of was how he has destroyed Martin's life." "Well, at least he is getting more sensible. Well, I am sorry that he caught the virus." "I'll relay that last thing to him. Poor Martin! Just when his life was getting better." "Yes. I know Michael's love for him is unshakeable. I heard the way he spoke of Martin. I just hope they can make up as friends even if Martin adamantly insists on breaking up. Oh! it is a difficult situation, isn't it?" sighed Sally. "I've called up my new supervisor to get emergency leave. He has approved it. Donald has not reached his boss yet. ... Oh he says because I am hogging the telephone. I'll call you when we get back. Bye!" "Bye!" Donald did manage to get his manager. His manager wasn't too pleased but Donald managed to convince the manager of the gravity of the situation and got leave from ten the next day. ----- Martin paced up and down his office. Was it wise to allow Donald and Sally to come by to see him? Then he thought about the reason he was in this jam. He only thought of one person: Will. Why didn't he see that Will was gay? He had read somewhere that gays have this sixth sense about other gays. Why didn't he see it? He realised that he did not know about Michael. However, he was not really clear about his identity when he met Michael. Now that he was comfortable about his sexuality, why did he not see that Will was after him? These thoughts went over his mind for a while. Then he thought it was useless to think. It had happened. He probably had to tell the sordid details to Donald and to Sally. He had to do it to a lady friend. He knew he couldn't do it. He should have told Donald to stay at home and forget about him. He had a beautiful office. It overlooked the main road and he could see the walls of the castle from where he was. He was not at the heart of Edinburgh though. He was in charge of a computer technical workshop. The workshop was situated out of the main city centre. However, it wasn't too far. He contemplated the irony of taking in a beautiful sight when his life was in an awful mess. He was deep in his thoughts when his secretary buzzed him. "Mr. McBain. The people you were expecting are here." Martin glanced at his watch. "They are punctual," he thought. He stood up as his secretary ushered him into the office. "Good afternoon, Donald, Sally," he said with a weak smile and offering his hand. "Good afternoon," Donald greeted him and grasped his hand firmly. "It's good to see that you are doing well." "You look a mess!" Sally exclaimed. Though he was neatly groomed, Martin had not had a good appetite and had not had a restful night's sleep since he came to Edinburgh. He ate little and had lost a bit of weight. Martin gave a little smile. "It is good to see you too, Sally." "Don't tell me that the virus has shown itself already?!" Sally continued. Donald shook his head and shrugged his shoulders when he saw Martin's eyes on him. "She is always straightforward. However, this time, she is a little tactless, I would say." Sally blushed when she realised what her husband had said. "Sorry Martin," she said softly. She kept her mouth shut while her husband continued. "I don't think Mr. McBain has AIDS. I think he has not been sleeping well nor eating well. Am I right, Mr. McBain?" "Call me Martin, Donald. I know you don't know me that well but if we are friends like you said on the telephone last night, at least you have to address me by my first name." "Thank you ... M ... Martin." Martin nodded his head as he said, "I have not been eating well nor sleeping well. The guilt that I've have over my infidelity has been great. After you called last night, I was awake until three when I forced my eyes closed. I did not open them until five. My mind was working even with my eyes closed. I hope I had some sleep when my eyes were closed." "The first thing we'll have to do is to feed you. Even if I have to resort to make you my practice baby," Sally said as she rubbed her tummy. She had a the same twinkle in her eye that Martin remembered. "Look, I think it is a bad idea for you to have come. What can you achieve? You cannot cancel my unfaithfulness to Michael. You can't remove whatever that is in my bloodstream now and will later claim my life." Sally shook her head, "We'll hear nothing of the negative stuff. I heard how that nasty boy Will seduced you. You were a victim. Technically it cannot be called rape, but in my book it was." "And from what we have heard, unless there was something else that happened, you have a very good chance that you'll be negative." "What do you mean?" "Why don't you tell us what happened. Sally has already heard it, so don't be shy. If what you say is what we have heard, then you may not be even infected by the virus." Martin started to talk ... ----- to be continued Author's note: I had known several people who had died of AIDS. However, I only found out about their condition after they had died or when they were seriously ill. Furthermore, my gay friends are far from where I live now and I have gone back into the closet. So I have almost no contact with people who are HIV positive and can only guess how they feel. If I have not potrayed the true situation regarding them, I am sorry. If you have anything to share regarding this dreaded disease, please mail me. Thanks. Soul Lark solark36@yahoo.co.uk