Date: Sun, 3 Aug 2014 14:02:34 +0100
From: frailtrack@yahoo.co.uk
Subject: A Helping Hand

The names and characterizations in this story have been changed to protect
the innocent, the characters are composite characters and bear no
relationship to any specific individual other than myself.

I've not put in elements of safe sex for the sake of simplifying the
storyline; in real life I encourage and urge you to be responsible, for
your own health and that of your lover(s) please use condoms responsibly.
It's better to spend a minute putting on a condom than a lifetime
regretting not having bothered.

If any of the acts described above, or the story itself, are illegal in
your jurisdiction then I'd suggest moving!  Seriously, acts of consensual
homosexual sex between grown adults, if that's not legal where you live I'd
grab a gun and start a revolution!  I am not suggesting it becomes
compulsory, but people need to be free to live their lives as they see fit.

If you enjoyed, or even if you didn't, my story then I would always welcome
nice emails and discussion about it.  frailtrack@yahoo.co.uk


A Helping Hand


My life had fallen off a cliff since the day I turned 50, in a few short
months my marriage collapsed, I lost my job, my health failed, I was spat
out by the support systems supposedly offered to every citizen and reached
a point where the sharks were circling and rather than be eaten alive by
the sharks supplied by the Banks, my ex and her lawyers, endless failed job
applications and running out of food and money I set about ending my life.
I did a new will, I wrote a series of letters to people, took a massive
overdose, and lay down to die.

I failed, as it seemed with everything else, miserably.  I ended up in a
mental health facility on the edge of my hometown.  After a period of
observation and assessment I was allowed to walk to a local village to do
use the library and to work off the meal they were feeding me.  Life in the
unit was boring, the days seemingly endless, which the staff assured me was
a good sign of recovery.

After lunch one day I set off for my walk, it was a 2o minute walk there.
I?d did the trip most days, and quite enjoyed being outside away from the
other patients for a while.  There was a shortcut through an estate that
took me off the main road and cur the corner off the walk, as I was
crossing the road I saw a guy struggling to load a chaise longue on to a
trailer he had.  I wandered over to see if he needed any help.

?Would you like a hand with that, before you damage it or yourself??

?God yes, the bloody thing is a bit big for me on my own, it?s getting it
over the trailer side is the problem.?

I had a look and sized up the problem.  ?Right, if I stand in the trailer,
and guide it up over that rail at the back, you lift it up and over the
back, then we can lower it down, tie it down and you?ll be laughing.  But
you could do with a couple of sheets to protect the material and the wood.
It?s a good looking piece and you don?t want to damage it.?

?I know, the material I am not so worried about, but the wood is nice, it?s
got good age about it.  I want to recover it eventually, but I?ll give it a
good clean first and then decide.  I?ve got a couple of blankets in the
car, they?ll do the trick.? He went to the back of his car and returned
with the blankets.  We set the first one across the back of the trailer to
protect the piece of furniture and the second across the rail at the back
of the trailer.  I climbed into the trailer, he lifted up one end I leaned
forward to grab hold while he got to the other end, we had it horizontal,
and moved so the back was inside the trailer now, I lifted the front to
clear the rail, and then set it down, finally we lowered the back down
until it was resting inside the trailer and was protected by the blankets.
He passed me a length of rope and I secured the chaise to the trailer so it
wouldn?t move during transit.

?Neatly done!  That should see you through to your destination!  It won?t
move with those knots holding it down, Scouts was a long time ago, but you
don?t forget the tricks you learn.?

?Thanks for your help, you?ve really helped me out of a spot.  I?m John by
the way?, he held out his hand.

?Steve? I replied and we shook hands.

?I don?t suppose you could?no?never mind? he shook his head and moved to
get in his car.

?Suppose what??

?Well, I?ve got to get to the other side of town, and then got the problem
of getting it out and up to my new apartment, I am new in town, don?t know
anyone, and could do with the help?

?Ah, well, I would but I am only allowed out for a certain amount of time
or they might come looking for me?, according to the law I was allowed out
for as long as I wanted, but it was better for everyone if they knew where
I was, where I was going, and when I?d be back in case the dark moods came
over me again.

?Come again?? he looked confused.

?I?m an in-patient at the hospital up the road, I?m allowed out for a walk,
but there are a couple of limits and such on my time and movements?, that
covered a lot of things I could be post-operative, a cancer patient, in the
mental health unit, or a number of other units.

?As long as you aren?t some nutter likely to run amok with a?? the look on
my face said it all. ?Oh fuck, sorry mate, I didn?t mean??

?It?s ok, to be honest I am more likely to hurt myself than anyone else,
that?s why I am there, I failed to??, I looked at the floor I could feel
myself getting upset, there was a good chance I might end up in tears
crying and didn?t want to embarrass myself in front of him.

?Well look, what about if we run over there quickly, then I run you back
and drop you off?  What time do you have to be back??

?I said I?d be back for 5pm, they feed us early? that was true, I found the
mealtimes came around too quickly, I?d have preferred a later meal, but you
have to consider the catering staff.

?Well it?s only 12:30 now, we?ve loads of time, and if we?re delayed you
can call them to let them know you?ll be late.? He looked as if he needed
the help, and I could do with the variation in my day-to-day activities.

?Yeah, fuck it, why the hell not.  It?ll make a change from wandering
around like a lost soul.  Come on then.?

We got into the car and set off.  It took about 20 minutes to skirt round
the edge of town before he pulled up at a grand old house that had been
converted into a handful of luxury flats.  During the drive I?d looked him
over, he looked to be in his late 30?s, tall and blonde, no facial hair, no
visible tattoos, he had pierced ears, and was well groomed, he looked as if
he worked out, he was very chatty, he seemed like a really nice guy.  By
comparison I was a wreck, a couple of days stubble, a tummy from lack of
exercise, dark haired that could do with a haircut, and a general downcast
look and demeanor about me.  I was smartly dressed though, another sign of
recovery they kept telling me.

?This is me, let?s get sorted out.  My place is on the ground floor, we can
take the trailer round the back, then it?s a simple matter to lift it out
and through the patio doors.?

?Good, I didn?t fancy taking it all the way up one of those towers!?  The
house had a couple of towers that meant some lucky resident had a high room
that gave a good view out over the town.

?I would have loved one of those, I?d have turned it into my own personal
eagles nest.  But they were taken, but my flat has beautiful views over the
gardens, well, you?ll see in a while.?  We unhitched the trailer and
wheeled it round the side and back of the house on a gravel path.  When the
trailer was as close as possible to the house John ran round the front,
entered the house, came through to the back of his flat and opened the
patio doors.  I had the ropes undone and tidied away by the time he was
back with me. Getting the chaise off the trailer was a simple reverse of
getting it loaded.  Before long the chaise was sat proudly in his living
room.  We took the trailer back to the car and re-hitched it then we went
back inside.

?Thank-you, you?ve been a great help!  I would still be wrestling with it
if you hadn?t helped me out, can I reward you with anything??  I didn?t
need a reward, a good act done freely doesn?t need a reward, but I had
worked up a thirst.

?I would love a cup of tea if that?s alright??

?That is the very least I can do for you! Come through to the kitchen while
I make it and we can chat some more before I run you home, well back to the
hospital.?  We went through to the kitchen.  I sat at the breakfast bar
while he made the drinks.

?Would it help you to talk about what put you in hospital?  You don?t have
to if you don?t want to, just sometimes a problem shared is a problem
halved?erm, that and other useless aphorisms!  Sorry, I don?t mean to pry,
it?s just you helped me for no reason other than to do a good deed and I
feel I owe you something in return.?

?Don?t apologise, you are just trying to be nice, which I appreciate.  That
in itself is a lot better than I was a week ago, I don?t accept praise,
thanks, or any compliment well.  I am learning to accept things like that,
I?ve been through a rough patch let?s say.? And I opened up.  We sat on a
sofa in his lounge, he sat by me and I laid out the events of my life that
led to my failed suicide.  I didn?t notice that he was sat actually rather
close to me, much closer than I would normally allow anyone to get.  He was
holding my hand and giving it reassuring squeezes, I looked up and into his
eyes, I could see compassion welling up in them.  I looked away, and looked
around the room, and it struck me like a sledgehammer, he was gay and not
in a slight way, I mean screaming.  It hadn?t occurred to me at all, his
voice, his mannerisms, and well not skirting the issue his ?campness?.

The old me would have run screaming, literally, the old me might well have
thumped him for his trouble before running screaming, I was somewhat old
school in my thought patterns.  But my brush with death had changed me, a
second life was a reality for me, and I didn?t have to be my old self, I
was being my new self, I?d been advised to be more selfish and think of
myself before others, and sitting there with John holding my hand, with his
genuine look of compassion and tenderness was not the worst thing to have
ever happened in my life.  I looked up at him and I squeezed his hands
back.

?Thank-you for listening.  It helps to get out the pain and misery, I know
there is a long way to go yet, but I am making fairy steps in the right
direction? did I really say that? What was I thinking?  Firstly it was a
long way back to the hospital to walk and I had about 20p on me so the bus
was out, secondly I was worried I?d upset him by being crass.  I should not
have been worried, he giggled.

?Panic not!? he smiled at me, ?it?s just a word, and I know what you meant
and I am not upset?, I was relieved and he saw that in my face, ?so you can
relax and we can carry on chatting?, I talked some more about wanting
change in my life, and about the unit, and the people there who had made me
think about the values in my life and what was truly more important than
the things I?d held sacred previously.

He continued to hold my hands, I continued to hold his, I was almost
massaging them, and instead of looking at the ground explaining my misery I
began to talk more positively about myself and the better things in my
life, the look in his eyes never faded or looked bored or disinterested, he
looked absorbed in my words and in me, then something happened that I would
never have guessed.  I leaned forward and kissed him, not a peck on the
cheek, but a kiss on the lips, and I lingered there hoping he?d kiss me
back.  He leaned back from me.

?I am so sorry, I didn?t?look if you?ll just run me back?I am sorry if I
offended you, I don?t know what came over me?  I was in flight or fight
mode with flight being the odds on favourite!

?After than unexpected kiss it was almost me!  Where did that come from? I
am not objecting, but?would you like to talk about it?? he looked a little
bewildered but not unhappy.

?Could we have a drink?? I asked.

?Of course, vodka, gin, whisky? Something else, I have beer and lager
somewhere I think?, he wandered over to a cabinet that contained several
bottles.

?Erm, tea is fine unless you have fizzy water?? it was a few seconds before
I was sat with a tall glass of San Pellegrino with ice and lemon, John got
himself a glass of coke with ice and a slice of lime.

We were sat next to one another John restarted the conversation. ?I wasn?t
expecting that, I am not complaining, it was lovely, but I didn?t think you
were, are, whichever it is?well gay, you mentioned your marriage and life
before...and, well I assumed?? he tailed off. It was my turn to talk so I
took a deep breath and set about my reply.

?When we talked you looked at me with such an intensity, with a
genuineness, and such compassion it triggered something inside me, the way
you held my hands? I reached out for his hands once more and he offered
them to me, ?it was so intense for me too.  It felt right at that
moment. As I mentioned I am trying to be more selfish in a positive way, so
I seized he moment and kissed you.  I am sorry if I?ve offended you, I
truly am, if you want me to leave then I will, but I am not sorry that I
kissed you.?

?I see, and what if I asked you to kiss me again?? he was looking straight
into my eyes and through them deep into my soul, my mind was a whirl of
contrasting emotions, but I had to decide what was right for me, what I
wanted, and how I wanted to live my life.

?That depends on whether you ask me I suppose? I was shaking like a leaf,
looking into his eyes, I was nervous, scared he would say yes, scared he
would say no.

?I would like you to kiss me again? we leaned forward and our lips met, we
kissed and the world didn?t end!  That repressed part of me expected the
world to end when I kissed another man, but it didn?t, it continued to turn
on its axis and all was well in the world.  I opened my mouth and pushed my
tongue out, his mouth was open ready for me, I guess he?d been hoping that
if I continued the kiss that I would want to use my tongue.  Our tongues
met and we kissed deeply, I had my eyes closed, and kissed him tenderly.
We kissed for some while then we broke.

?Was that alright?? I asked.  He smiled at me.

?That was more than alright, that was lovely, I enjoyed it thoroughly.
Would you like to do more than just kiss, or do you want to leave it there?
Whatever you decide is fine with me, I promise there is no pressure and you
can stop whenever you want!? he stood up and waited for my reply.  I held
out my hand, he took it and pulled me up from the sofa, without a word he
led me through to his bedroom.

In his bedroom we lay side by side on the bed and began kissing again.  It
felt natural and my initial nerves and worries began to subside.  I became
a little more ambitious and adventurous and explored his body with my
hands, his own movements echoed my own, he never pushed me to do anything
that I was uncomfortable with.  He sighed gently when I fondled his
buttocks through the soft material of his trousers.  I returned the sigh
when he began fondling and kneading at my buttocks.  Things still felt very
comfortable I reached for the front of his trousers, running my fingertips
so lightly over the material I doubt he could feel my touch, but then he
moved his hips slightly forward and I felt his penis through the material.
He broke the kiss for a second and whispered, ?it?s ok, you can if you
want?, I unzipped him and slipped my hand inside his trousers.  He was
wearing delicate silk briefs, I pulled the material to one side and took
hold of his erect shaft, it felt velvety and warm in my hand, it was also
very hard yet had a softness to it.  We kissed more intently as I held him,
then I felt his hand reaching for my zip.  I shuddered and he stopped in
his tracks.

?No, it?s alright, please don?t stop? I asked him breathlessly, we resumed
our kissing and he reached inside to touch me.  I was only partially erect,
which in itself was something of an achievement as my illnesses had robbed
me of the ability to maintain an erection previously.  It felt nice to be
held by his hand and I kissed him more intently.  We lay like that for some
time.  The kiss broke and he asked me something.

?Would you like to go further??

?Yes? but I did have reservations, I explained about my erectile
dysfunction issues, and he accepted them without a word, he said we could
work around and with that. We got off the bed and took off our clothes, I
asked him to draw the curtains not being confident of my body image.  We
lay back down and explored one another, I moved down and turned around so
we were in the 69 position but without the sexual contact.  I looked at his
erect penis, I told myself that as I could hold it I could kiss it, so I
kissed it, then that if I could kiss it I could lick it, and finally if I
could lick it then I could suck it.  In that moment I became a cocksucker,
the texture of his penis was lovely, sort of plastic in feeling, but warm
and pleasant.  I ran my tongue over the exposed glans of his cock, it felt
very nice it felt very natural once again.  I was so engrossed in what I
was doing I didn?t even notice he was doing the same for me.

I was enjoying myself a great deal, he was gentle, tender, and loving with
me, I continued to explore his penis with my tongue.  I licked up and down
the shaft covering every inch with delicate kisses, and then examined and
kissed his balls.  He had stopped his attentions of my cock while I learned
every last inch of the anatomy of his tumescent member.  He exuded precum
from the tip in copious amounts and I discovered I liked the taste, I
eagerly devoured every drop, I was squeezing up and down his shaft trying
to get every last drop I could, running my tongue over the slit delving as
deep as I could.

?You had better stop that before I cum? he sighed.

?Sorry, I am not used??, he stopped me.

?Silly, don?t be daft, you were doing really well for a first time, I just
don?t want to explode over you.  Lie back and let me pleasure you.?  I lay
back on the bed and he got between my legs and began to lick and suck my
cock.  He brought my cock to attention then surprised me when he took a
moistened finger and slipped it in my anus.  As he sucked his finger
explored inside me, it was not unpleasant, it felt unusual and different,
but shortly as I got used to the feeling it became very nice indeed, then
his finger hit a spot and I unloaded every last drop of my cum in his mouth
but without the release of orgasm, I was mortified, I felt so embarrassed.
He looked up with a massive smile on his face.

?Did you enjoy that?? I was confused that he looked so pleased about it,
?it?s called milking, if you massage the prostate in just the right way it
triggers the release of your cum without the associated orgasm.  A lot of
men when they are doing what we?re doing sometimes get massive amounts of
guilt and run off.  This way you stay horny and don?t want to run off,
which would be a shame as we?re having such fun.  I am not like that, I
like a kiss and cuddle after!?

?Do you want me to do that to you?? I asked innocently?

?Not now, I?d like to show you something else.  Get on all fours for me?, I
was so confortable with him that I did as he asked me.  He then made my
life complete when he put his face between my bum cheeks and licked my
anus, he tongued me completely, within a few minutes the pleasure was so
great, I was so turned on that turned my head to face him and I spoke
softly.

?Would you fuck me?  Please would you fuck me?? I meant it, I was hugely
aroused and desperate for his cock.

?It will be my pleasure!? he got behind me, he positioned himself and
placed the tip of his cock at my entrance, he pushed forward and penetrated
me, he mounted me and began to fuck me with his engorged cock, the feeling
was entirely new to me, and it was unbelievably good, his drove his hot
cock inside me with an ever growing urgency, I was in a heaven of my own
making, the feelings I was experiencing felt wonderful, I wanted the moment
to last forever, but it couldn?t and didn?t.  He withdrew his cock from me,
I felt suddenly empty.

?Awwwwww, s that it??

?No silly, get on your back and slide back onto my lap, I want to kiss you
while we fuck, I want you to wrap your legs around me and pull me inside
you while I fuck my cum into you!? Wow was all I thought, and it was a few
moments later he was driving his cock back up into me, and I was using my
legs to pull him deeper inside me.  We kissed one another deeply once more,
I was lost in my pleasure when I felt his body tense, he stopped his
thrusts, somehow I contrived to squeeze his penis with my anal muscles and
that was the triggering event for his shattering orgasm.  He flooded my
belly with his seed, I could feel his cock spasm inside me, his body weight
on top of me, his face buried in my neck, his deep breaths coming in gasps,
and the driving thrusts he made as he ejaculated the contents of his balls
inside me.

I released him from the death grip my legs had on him that had kept him
deep inside me, his penis began to shrink back and slipped from inside me,
a small amount of his cum dribbled from my recently newly fucked bum.  I
felt happy and contented in this wonderful new experience with my new
friend.  We kissed once more, then he curled up into the foetal position, I
curled up around him and held him, I kissed his neck and whispered my
thanks into his ear.  He smiled and hugged my arms that were wrapped around
him.  He drifted off into a nap, as he slept I held him and replayed events
in my mind.

It had been an unexpected event, it had been thoroughly enjoyable
experience, and it had broadened my consciousness in a positive way.  John
enjoyed an hours sleep, after which we both showered and then shared
another drink.

?I had better run you back to the hospital.  Are you ok?  Will you be ok
about this?  Look take my number and if you need to talk you know where I
am, I would love to keep in touch, but if you decided otherwise, well?you
wouldn?t be the first man to experience this and then never do it again, I
would understand.?

?Thank-you!  I had a wonderful time, it is a lot to take in??

?Ooh err missus!?

?Thank you, that was such an easy feed line, you know what I mean!  But I
did enjoy myself, I learned a lot about myself, and I would like to see you
again!?

John drove me back to the hospital, not much was said on the way home, I
squirmed a little at the feeling in my bum after our lovemaking; all too
soon we were outside the unit.

?Take care of yourself? he looked at me with genuine tenderness in his
eyes.

?Pick me up tomorrow?  If I tell them I can come out all day, from 9am to
9pm, but only if you want to?? I looked at him and waited for his reply.
He smiled, he grinned then he grabbed my shirt pulled me towards him and
kissed me.

?I?ll see you in the morning, just in case I need a helping hand again?

Afterword.

Only my being an in-patient of this story is true.  The sexual side is
drawn from my experiences when younger.  I would urge all readers to
indulge in safe sexual acts and to use condoms and be responsible in your
actions.  Those elements were excluded from my story for the sake of
brevity, in the real world rubber up!

I would enjoy any comments as long as they are constructive and helpful.  I
hope you enjoy my story and it gave you a little pleasure.  I enjoyed
writing it, it forms part of my therapy, expressing myself and setting out
my thoughts.  It?s not shared with the medical staff; this is private and
part of my being selfish and thinking about what I want and me!  So if
anyone needs help shifting a chaise longue let me know!