Date: Tue, 29 Dec 2009 05:17:55 -0800 (PST) From: Peder Pederson Subject: A Question of Time I & II A Question of Time by D. V. Zomba Copyright 2005 Contents I. Prologue 3 II. A Loss to Remember 6 III. A Different Loss 20 IV. The Wanderer 32 V. Paphos, Beginnings 47 VI. Illyria, Searchings 59 VII. Postlude 72 I. Prologue As David Patterson lay on the sofa, he became aware of the spasms starting in his stomach. Leadenly, he swung his legs over onto the floor, raised his frame, unsteadily and padded to the bathroom. He walked to the commode and assumed the position, the position that he had come to know over the past couple of months. He lifted the seat and knelt down in front of this odious altar, embraced the sides and gagged. The spasms became more pronounced as he uncontrollably retched into the gaping orifice. David 's emission was watery, and then nothing as he was wracked with the dry heaves, one after another. He was gut wrenched! As silently as they came, the seizures lessened and then ceased altogether. His stomach muscles ached from the violent paroxysms. Deep breaths cleansed his being, he shakily rose from his supplicant-like position and flushed the offending offering from his sight. After rinsing his mouth of the foul taste, he dashed cold water in his face, walked back to the living room and plopped back down on the sofa. "God, I wish this would end!" he stated, soto voce. He felt a warm breath near his ear. "What are you doing here?" came the whisper. The proximity was unnerving, yet tantalizing. 2001 David taped shut the last box of books and began transferring his meagre belongings to his old Malibu. The '90 Malibu groaned under the unaccustomed load. He returned to his room and surveyed its bare interior. Jim Ashton, his roommate had left the day before. The dorm room had again returned to the neutral character that it exhibited in the Fall. He placed the key on the dresser as he had been instructed, closed the door and checked that it was locked. For the last time he left Dirk Hall, his home for the past four years. "Hope the 'ole Malibu will get me home," he thought as he slid onto the bench seat and started the car for the long drive home. David had graduated Cum Laude the Saturday before. His parents had made the four hour trip from Rhinelander to Whitewater to attend his graduation. He was mildly surprised that his father would have taken the time from the business to attend. After all Calvin, his father, thought that a college degree was a bit 'uppity!' Rosemary Patterson, his mother was beaming with pride. Calvin was, as usual, taciturn. Both his mother and father were, as they say, "Born and bred Rhinelanders." So was he! Rhinelander was not the worse place to be from, although his sister, Eleanor sarcastically referred to it as "the armpit of America." It was hours from the nearest metropolis. A town which the Rhinelanders liked to refer to as a, "Small city," that was nestled in the woods and lake region of northern Wisconsin. Nearly 8,000 souls, it boasted two 'super markets,' eight churches, five bars and its own brewery which nobody outside of the immediate area knew anything about. Its main claim to fame was the scenery of the area--if you liked woods and/or lakes. Actually, it wasn't a bad place to be raised. It lacked most of the pitfalls of a large city. And, David's childhood was rather free and easy. In his younger days, Rosemary, his mother, only asked that he tell her where he was going when he left the yard. Not many places to get into trouble in Rhinelander. "Just stay away from the Kellers," she'd admonish! The Kellers were a strange, reclusive couple and there were numerous, unsubstantiated rumors adrift about them. Calvin Patterson was a dour man. "He's been a good provider," Rosemary would admit almost apologetically whenever David complained about his reticence. Calvin was the owner of "Patterson & Son," the local hardware store, the only hardware store for miles. "Son," referred to David, but it originally referred to Calvin. Joshua Patterson, David's paternal grandfather had started the business. He was a mean, tight fisted martinet. For him life was the business and church, and always in that order. He was also a perfectionist who brooked nothing less than the best from himself, his son and anybody who had the fortitude to work for him. So when his wife took ill in their twentieth year of marriage, he looked upon it as some divine retribution for his failing somehow. Over her long illness, he festered and soured descending into incivility , except for his customers, of course. When Calvin married Rosemary Stroud, the year after high school, and came into the business, Joshua's demeanor did not change. If anything he became almost vindictive. Calvin wasn't strong enough to insulate himself from the constant criticisms and belittling of his father. In the beginning, Calvin was a vibrant young man who Rosemary loved. Besides, "He had a good future," her mother admitted. They married and two years later Eleanor was born, four years after David appeared. Rosemary tried to neutralize the hurt and pain that she saw in her husband, but she was totally unprepared. Her husband turned inward. David, as a young man, remembered his father as quiet and at times harsh. Calvin ruled the family, or, at least that was his purpose. There were fiats that he issued from time to time: "Do as I say, not as I do!" "At the dinner table children are to be seen, not heard!" He neither feared, not hated his father. Mostly he disliked his arbitrary and bigoted nature. David learned to avoid those things and issues that he knew would aggravate Calvin. There was quite a number of 'issues,' as it turned out. Yet there was a consistency, narrow as it was, in his father's actions and reactions. He grudgingly respected his father with his faults, and, he supposed, loved him, in a way. There were times, howver, when loving him was a difficult. When David announced, towards the middle of his sophomore year in high school that he wanted to go to college, his father's reaction was, "What do you want to go to college for? Are you getting uppity?" Then in his senior year he stated that he wanted to major in history. That was too much for Calvin. "Why not business, or something useful? Why history? That's for sissy-fags!" Rosemary stayed quiet during these encounters. She almost never contradicted Calvin to his face. But later, she would always give her quiet support to David. All through high school he worked at Patterson & Son. His salary was minimum wage and he was given no special treatment. "I suppose, I will have to help you with college! But don't expect too much! I'm not 'John D!'" Of course he was referring to the fabulously wealthy John D. Rockerfeller. However, the Pattersons were far from poor. They were what is referred to as: 'comfortable.' David saved most of his salary as he knew his father's statement to be accurate. He remembered one time in his junior year, he was feeling low and stated to his mother, "Wonder if it's worth it? Maybe I should just work in the family business!" "No! You get out of here. I don't want this place to suffocate you!" she said with unaccustomed vehemence. Rosemary may have deferred in most things to her domineering husband. But, where her children were concerned, she was a tigress, albeit and generally submissive one. Then in the spring of that year, at the dinner table, Calvin spoke up, uncharacteristically, and asked, "David who are you taking to the Junior Prom?" "I'm not going," he answered quietly. "Why?" Calvin demanded. "I'm just not going!" came the flat, but emphatic statement. "Do you have a girl?" "Nope." "What are you? Some kind of pervert? A fag?" Two of Calvin's favorite targets were, 'Commies and Fags.' "Calvin!" Rosemary pleaded, softly. Her husband merely shook his head and retreated into his usual silence. The truth was David was ambivalent. He had no strong feeling either way. He had, with a few of his friends, perused some porn magazines that one of his friends had slipped out of his father's hiding place in the garage. Big breasted women with their legs spread revealing their cunts, big breasted women sucking an assortment of cocks, big breasted women getting fucked in every imaginable position and even big breasted women licking and fingering other big breasted women. David and the others laughed nervously, made appropriate lascivious comments and each threw a woody! A couple of times the little assembly had a group jerk, but no one's hand strayed from their own cock! David was just a curious as the other guys--curious about the pictures, curious about the sensations that the 'models' might have felt and curious about the other guy's cocks. But if the truth is to be known, he didn't focus or obsess about any of it. David pondered from time to time whether he was 'normal.' The fact was that he was not abnormal! David simply hadn't developed an interest in the opposite sex, or his own for that matter. Like people, libidos are never alike. Some people's libidos are active from a young age, natural curiosity, perhaps. Others are rather subdued, not dormant, but not particularly active, either. Again, there are others for whom it practically doesn't exist at all. And then, there are others whose libido lies dormant only to be released by someone or something which then develop into prodigious proportions. The list goes on and on. "The Patterson's are 'late bloomers,'" his mother had stated when he hesitantly once broached his concern to her. At the time, he thought, "What the hell does that mean?" Again, David did not obsess about his state, merely accepted it. Besides, for the time being there were other, more important things--his education--his ticket--his carte d'sortie from Rhinelander. After the four hour drive, he pulled into his parent's driveway. Rosemary ran from the house, wiping her hands on her apron. David and his mother embraced and exchanged warm kisses on the other's cheek. "I've got some fresh brownies for you and a glass of milk," she stated, motherly. Rosemary Patterson's brownies were legendary and she knew he couldn't resist them. "Maybe I should unload the car first." "That can wait. You need to relax a bit and get something in your stomach, Davey." Only his mother and his sister Eleanor called him 'Davey.' II. A Loss to Remember As he lay there on the sofa, David fought, clawed his way back from the depths of retching. He picked up the book he had been reading about Genghis Khan and opened it. He attempted to concentrate, but it was futile. His session in the bathroom had left him utterly exhausted, as usual. He put the book down and tried to sleep. Sleep was the only thing that gave him any relief--blissful, dreamless sleep. He felt a warm breath near his ear. "What are you doing here?" came the whisper. The proximity was unnerving, yet tantalizing and be felt a strange sensation course through his body. 2000 David frequently considered his ambivalence. Once he had mentioned it to Jim, his roommate. "Hell, if you got your nose out of those damned books and got a little pussy, ya might find ya like it!" he snorted! "Yeah. . . But maybe too much and I'd end up dropping my grade point!" "There are worse things!" Jim declared. Jim was as laid back as David, about most things. He had a few relationships and was, at times, rather graphic about his 'hay time!' He'd regale David with some oof his adventures. Usually with the bawdiest of descriptions. David often wondered if Jim embellished his stories for his account. During the first semester of his senior year at the university, David gave up his virginity! He had been inducted into the National Honor Society. His serious and focused approach to his studies bore fruit. It was not that David was an over achiever. He was intelligent and he had the ability to home in on the task at hand. Besides, he had, early in his academic career, contemplated graduate school. That demanded a demonstration of academic excellence. A number of the inductees got together for a celebratory party. David was included. He had invited Jim, but his roommate declined. "Thanks, man, but got a date tonight with Sarah." Sarah was his latest. Strangely, however, he never commented to David on the progress or any aspect of this relationship. David guessed that Jim was serious about Sarah. The two of them had roomed together since they were Freshmen, and one gets to know the inner workings of one living in such close proximity. Besides, Jim was the brother David had often wished he had. As it turned out Jim and Sarah were serious and were later to marry. The inductee's party was at Dian Demmur's apartment. Dian, the daughter of a lawyer from Milwaukee, was brilliant in all aspects--brilliant mind, brilliant personality, brilliant looks and a brilliant manipulator. The party consisted of the inductees and their dates. Since the drinking age for beer in Wisconsin was 18, it was found to flow from a keg in the kitchen. David had consumed his share of beer while at Whitewater and a couple of times a bit more than his limit. After his fourth mug he began to loosen up from his normally quiet nature. Dian had pushed back the furniture in the dining area and many were dancing there. At first, the music was fast, almost frenetic and loud. By 11:00 some had left and the music toned down considerably to a slow, romantic tempo. "Come, David, dance with me," Dian cooed. "You haven't danced all night." He acquiesced and followed her. "I'm not very good," he stated honestly. The truth was that David seldom danced. "You'll do fine," she stated as she draped her arms about his neck and stepped up to him. The combination of the beers, Dian's perfume and her knock dead body pressed up against his did the trick. Somehow he began to move his feet and swaying in time to the music. Dian deftly followed his lead. Her warmth infused him within a luxurious mist. Quickly he became acutely aware of her firm breasts against his chest, the heat of her pubic arch pressing into his left thigh as her thigh insinuated itself between his legs. They danced slowly, arousing each other. David was aware of his arousal, and for some reason accepted it with some anticipation. Dian, also was aware of his arousal. She wasn't a predator, but David had piqued her interest last semester in a Renaissance History class they shared. They had met, occasionally on campus and in the student union. David, on those occasions was friendly, but always seemed preoccupied with one thing or another. Her normal hints for a date seemed to go unnoticed. And, she was not willing to initiate a date. Lightly, she kissed him on the neck. That action caused in him an autonomic hip thrust. She smiled as he pulled her even closer. Again she placed a lingering kiss on his neck, and again, the same reaction. Soon his hardened cock was grinding against her upward tilted cunt. Both were aware of the torrid heat that the other was transmitting. Quietly, she led him through the thinning party-goers, down the hall to her bedroom. David was vaguely aware of what was about to transpire. He was aroused beyond any trepidation that he might not know what to do, how to perform adequately. He may not have hands-on-experience, but he was no dummy. "After all," he mused, "I've read 'The Joy of Sex!'" Quickly she shut the door and pushed him up against the wall grinding her body against his and insinuated her probing tongue deep into his mouth. Here, she took the initiative. David groaned at the sensuous onslaught and her hand snaked between them and fondled his adamantine, rigid cock. "Ahhhh!" escaped from deep in his throat. Without dislodging her probing tongue, Dian stripped her slacks and underpants down and freed David's burgeoning cock from his pants. Again, he groaned, ""Ahhhh!" As she lasciviously fondled his virilis membrum, David's hand slipped between their closely pressed bodies and began to explore that lush nether region that now beckoned him. He encountered soft hairs and a fiery cleft. He slipped a finger inward and was met with a copious flow of warm, natural lubricant. From what he had read, he knew that she was sexually aroused. He felt for the little button he knew was there. His finger brushed upon her feminine erection and Dian gasped in delight. Carefully he manipulated her clitoris as she caressed his burgeoning cock. Both rocketed out of control into the realms of licentious, physical manipulation. Her searching tongue and warm hand sensually caressing his quaking rigid pole drove David into the realms of elemental, carnal desire he had barely anticipated. He wanted to scream with delight. His probing finger slipped down and into that moist, luxurious tunnel, anointing itself with more of her lavish secretions and back to the throbbing clit. Knowledge of, and for itself is of value' except, maybe for the one acquiring it! For knowledge to be of any benefit, any value it must be applied. David may have been a neophyte in the realms of sensual, somatic experience, but he had read numerous manuals dedicated to the ars amorata. He had a naturally inquisitive mind as well as a need to know. He fought the charging locomotive of his own passion. His body was in instinctual autopilot. He knew, intellectually, what to do. He merely lack the hands-on experience. Now he was acquiring that experience in a way that he had never anticipated. David's lubricated finger caressed, manipulated, circled, cajoled that erect little, hidden trigger, nestled within the luscious, labial folds. He was immediately aware when a particular touch or action resonated within Dian. He catalogued that in his mind and sought another. His tender but purposefully erotic ministrations soon brought spasms of delight racing through Dian's center. Her hips began to rhythmically thrust as waves of primordial need begIn to sweep over her person. She stopped her searching kiss only long enough to hoarsely whisper in his ear, "Oh, yes . . . YES!" and then kissed him even more passionately than before. David could feel her reaction, and as they coupled with his, he was lifted to realms of joy that transcended anything that he had heretofore experienced, or, for that matter, even considered. His hip thrust forward into her encircling, pumping hand as if searching for that which would make it complete. He would only later consider and wonder at the fact that at this point his cock seemed to have a mind of its own! He had lost control over part of his being! Dian with one hand slipped her slacks lower, kicked them and her panties across the floor. She wrapped her arms tightly about David's neck, hunched her back, lifted her legs and wrapped them about his waist. David's hands encircled her hips and cupped her firm, velvety ass, instinctively, in support. That athletic movement brought her feverish, moist cunt in direct contact with his upstanding, pulsing cock. She impaled herself upon that quaking pole as he involuntarily thrust his single minded rod upward. David gasped. He simply was not prepared for the ensuing sensation. No book, no amount of clinical explanation or detail, no verbal catalogue can adequately describe the electric sensations of that first, elemental entry. All anticipatory thoughts, all intellectual conjecture were instantly swept away in a sensual, erotic tsunami of incomparable delight. Both Dian and David were heated to cosmic proportions. The feeling of his hard, throbbing cock as it plunged inward, the feeling of it being enfolded, the feeling of it being surrounded, being engulfed by lush, sensually lubricated, fluttering muscles, was . . . . AWESOME! From deep within his gut issued a primordial, elemental groan. "Arghhhhh!" He held himself quiet for a second wanting not to give up that initial sensation, that glimpse of The Eternal. Then slowly he withdrew his center searching core and purposefully reinserted it . . . all the way. Again, "Arghhhhh!" He had, in a short time, been reduced to the most primitive, nonverbal human state. Slowly, rhythmically he sunk his cock deep within Dian's flaming center, withdrew it half way and sunk it back again. "Oh, yes. Oh, Yes. OH YES!" issued hoarsely from Dian's lips. Kissing at this juncture was superfluous, unproductive. She buried her face in the hollow of his neck as she luxuriated in that primal dance, anticipating and delighting in each thrust. After a couple minutes of this voluptuous coupling, David's legs began to quake--partly from the unaccustomed erotic sensations, partly from the sheer physical exertion. Having Dian suitably impaled upon his source and grasping her ass, he turned so that Dian's back was now against the wall, partially supporting her. He drove his cock deep within her. "Oh, GAWD!" she gasped. Inwardly, an elemental fluttering began to mount. His cock centered sensations were assuming miraculous proportions. Proportions that began to insinuate themselves through his whole being. Proportions that overwhelmed. Without conscious volition he plunged in and out. His ramming cock pistoned under a fundamental control beyond his ken. He drove deep into Dian's flaming, desirable cunt. He lost all conscious thought. He became cock centered, led to that state by cosmic need. He raced toward the abyss! There was no stopping him! The void of release loomed before him! At the end, he simply fucked Dian with mindless abandon! He became totally cock-centered! Then orgasm! Le petit morte. Indescribable! Indefinable! Ineffable! Soul screaming! Core shattering! Mind flooding! Cosmic lightening! Thunderous! Rending! Delicious release! All this and more. With that ceremony, David gladly gave up his virginity. The next morning, David slept uncharacteristically late. When he awoke, Jim was sitting at his desk looking over some notes. "Morning," David murmured. "Sleeping beauty has arisen!" "Mmmmm!" was the reply. "What time did you get home?" Jim queried. "'After 3:00 I guess." After the initial encounter, David was breathless and spent! "Can you stay?" Dian asked softly. "Yeah," came the breathless, spent reply. She quickly put on her slacks. "Why don't you take a shower," she suggested and ended with, "I've got to see to my guests. "OK." She gently kissed him on the cheek and quietly left the room. David removed his sweater, stripped his pants off noting the sodden, musky smelling crotch and walked to the bathroom. He stood languidly under the shower for long minutes. A smile of satisfaction and discovery sat on his face. He found a towel, dried himself, put on his briefs and laid on Dian's bed. The afterglow was delicious. Forty-five minutes later he awoke to the soft touch of Dian's hand upon his cheek. "Mmmmm! Guess I fell asleep. Sorry," he apologized sitting up. She smiled at him and stated sincerely, "You deserved a nap," and added, "You were fantastic!" David chuckled and admitted without remorse, "Beginner's luck! I guess." Her expressive brows arched, "Beginner?" David merely nodded. "That was you first time?" she asked, incredulously. David blushed slightly and nodded again. For some inexplicable reason he was not too embarrassed to admit his former, uninitiated state. Dian's beautiful mouth broke into a broad smile. "Well, let's see what the second time brings!" With that she kissed him with nearly as much passion than the last time, but with infinitely more anticipation. David gasped. He gasped even loader when she lowered the waist band of his briefs and took his growing cock into her expert mouth. He proved that 'beginner's luck' only improved, the second time. He brought her to a screaming orgasm and Dian caused an: "OHHH! GAAAWD!" to thunder from him. Their third union was not as frenzied as the first two. More leisurely, more explorative. She guided him towards some of the finer points of love-making. Their thunderous unions had swept away any shyness or false modesty on his part. He visually and tactilely explored her body as she did his. There was wonder. There was curiosity. There was delight. And, there were questions. He was an apt, even an avid pupil. And, she was a incomparable virtuoso who had suddenly come into possession of a rare Guarnerius. She knew how to play! It was 3:00 a.m. when he left Dian's apartment. She had wanted him to stay the rest of the night. David needed time to consider, to reflect on his sexual awakening. Besides, he was exhausted and knew that Dian's close proximity would cause more, but not unwanted, couplings. "Three o'clock," Jim queried, "Didn't know you egg heads partied that late!" David merely grinned! Jim studied his roommates face. A broad grin spread across his face. "Did . . . you . . . get laid?" he asked with unabated curiosity. David merely grinned even more. "Well I'll be damned!" Jim quickly moved to his bed across from David. "Who was it?" David frowned in mock seriousness, and shook his head. "Never mind, then," but, with more passion, "How was it?" "FANTASTIC!" David stated, matter-of-factly. "HOT DAMN!" And, he punched David in the shoulder, a friendly punch. "My roomy finally scored!" "Yep!" "Hope you acquitted your self well . . . Dirk Hall boys don't wanna lose their reputation!" He said laughingly. "Didn't lower my G.P.A. a bit! Maybe an 'A-.'" "SHIT!" Jim knew that David's G.P.A. was 3.75 or above, otherwise he wouldn't have been inducted in the N.H.S. David and Dian dated, passionately . . . for a period. It was a sybaritic period for both. But, as with all association based upon physical attraction, their sensual alliance soon ran its course. Neither David nor Dian were naive. When the telltale signs appeared, they faced the inevitable and ended their union with one marathon session . . . and . . . walked away. No recriminations, no regrets. Each had sweet memories, especially David. He and Jim had discussed the parting superficially. "What you need is to find another girl . . . right away! Like falling off a horse . . . if you don't . . . get right back on . . . You know!" "Like . . . back in the saddle again?" David asked in mock seriousness! "Yeah . . .YEAH!" "Shit!" They both laughed hysterically! David spent the Christmas holidays at home with his parents. Eleanor was there too for a couple of days. She had taken some vacation time and drove up with David from Madison. Eleanor was a great sister, at least David thought so! She was bright, intelligent, assertive and stood up to Calvin in a way that no other member of the family were able. She took shit from no one! He recalled, when he was about eight or nine, that he and Eleanor were bantering at the dinner table. His father boomed, "At the dinner table children are to be seen, not heard!" "Oh, Pa," Eleanor stated brightly, "That's so old fashioned!" Calvin flushed, but held his tongue when Rosemary quickly interjected, "Cal, would you cut me another piece of roast?" Actually, she was full. It was just her way to defuse the situation. Besides, as often happens, there was a special bond between father and daughter. Calvin let the childish rebuke pass, but not without a halfhearted glowering glance at Eleanor. His daughter merely flashed back a neutralizing smile. Eleanor left Rhinelander after graduating from high school as valedictorian with a scholarship to the university in Madison. "Uppity!" Calvin decreed when he heard of her plans. "A woman doesn't need an education to get married and raise a family!" "She needs to spread her wings," Rosemary stated, quietly. "Humpf!" was his only reply. Actually Calvin's stance on this issue and many others was not antithetical to the majority of conservative, isolated Rhinelanders. It's not that the population of this town was backward in their thinking, although many would think so, they simply were unenlightened about many things--things of which they had little contact. Rhinelanders fell, euphemistically, within the 'salt of the earth' category--hard working, unsophisticated people whose code was basically conservative and narrow. They tended to brook no nonsense, support any concepts beyond their ken and were basically an honest lot. Those young people who went away to college or trade school or to seek employment beyond the confines of northern Wisconsin, tended not to return to live out their lives in their hometown. This had always been the case. However, Calvin and Rosemary never left the comfortable, nonconfronting cocoon of Rhinelander. They were comfortable there, and they naturally fit in to these familiar environs. After Christmas dinner and the opening of gifts, when things were rosy, at least for the Pattersons, David announced, "I've decided to apply for graduate school." "That's nice, Davey," Rosemary Patterson stated, non committed. "Great!" stated Eleanor. "Why do you want to waste your money? You need to get a job and start earning your keep for a change," Calvin said. David merely shrugged. Could he have expected anything different? "I think it's a great idea, Davey," Eleanor stated emphatically flashing her father a withering glance. "Where are you going to apply?" "Just Madison. Have an interview there the end of January." "Good. You can stay at my place. It's near campus." "Yeah, I know. Thanks." Eleanor left the day after Christmas, hitching a ride with another Rhinelander who was also living in Madison and who had spent the holidays with family. That left David alone with his family for another few days. 2001 David had returned to Whitewater and his final semester. The demands of his honor's thesis on his time was enormous. As the time neared for his interview he called Eleanor. "Davey, I've got a meeting to attend in San Diego that week. I'll leave the key with my neighbor across the hall." "You sure it won't be any trouble?" "None. Just make sure you don't leave a mess!" she snickered. "Hah!" he replied. The truth was David was not the least bit messy. As a matter of fact he was rather neat, although, not obsessively so. As a child he liked things organized. It was Eleanor that his mother was always asking to clean her room. Two weeks later David motored his aging Malibu up to the front of Eleanor's apartment building. He decided to drive to Madison on a Saturday and relax on Sunday before his interview on Monday. David climbed to the second storey and knocked on the door across from Eleanor's. He was greeted by a pleasant retired matron. "How do you do, I'm David Patterson, Eleanor's brother. She said that you'd have a key to her apartment." "Well, hello, young man. I'm Marion Linder. Do come in. The key is just over here." She walked to a desk and retrieved the key. "Thanks." he said as she handed him the key. "Would you like a cup of tea? I have some cookies to go with it." "That's very kind of you, but I have some organizing to do." She smiled and returned, "I understand." David and Eleanor had been taught 'manners' as young children. They never forgot them! David let himself into Eleanor's apartment. He looked around quickly. The living room wasn't 'messy,' merely 'lived in.' There was an envelope propped up on the coffee table with his name on it. He slipped out the terse note and read it. "Davey, You can use my bed - - - the sheets are clean! There's some beer in the fridge, but not much else! Make yourself at home - - - Love, Eleanor - - - P.S., Will call you and leave the number where I can be reached if you need to. 'E.'" He smiled. He loved his sister and the feeling was mutual. She had always stood up for her 'little brother' against their overbearing and demanding father. She was the only one who could. Several hours later, after going over his notes and rewriting, he decided he needed to get something to eat and relax a bit. A couple of blocks away was a burger joint. David's gastronomic needs were minimal at best, one might even described them as basic. He quietly consumed his burger, a large order of fries and a cola. On his way back to his sisters he passed a neighborhood bar--Our Place--and decided he'd have a beer. The bar was obviously a favorite as there was a crowd inside. A blaring C.D. player supplied the only apparent entertainment. Edging up to the bar he found an empty stool and ordered a beer. "Hi, there," the guy next to him greeted him. "Hi," he returned. "Haven't seen you here before." "Just in town for a visit," David informed. "Well, I hope you have fun," was said as a hand was laid on his thigh. "Thanks," came the somewhat nervous reply. The hand squeezed his thigh. "My pleasure." The hand moved towards his crotch. Very uncomfortable and a bit taken back, David excused himself. "Think I'll look around." "Sure," came the disappointed answer. He soon saw that the bar was filled with men. Most were paired off. Some were in a casual embrace and one or two were kissing. "A gay bar!" he said to himself. Beer in hand he, as casually as he was able, walked towards the back of the bar and to open door. Although this was the end of January, Madison was gripped in one of those midwinter thaws. It was decidedly mild outside. He walked out of the door and into a small enclosed courtyard. It was even less illuminated than the interior. After a moment or two, when his eyes adjusted, he observed a number of guys standing around the courtyard. He gasped inwardly as he saw a tall guy standing with his back to the brick wall, hips thrust forward and another guy, on his knees, with his head moving back and forth on his crotch--sucking! Two, attached neighbors were intently watching the suck session and fondling each other's exposed erections. The brazenness of this sensual scene shook David to his very core. He wanted to bolt. Yet, he was drawn irrevocably to the action at hand. He focused on those glistening lips moving on and off that hard, spit polished cock. Sucking sounds and gasps punctuated the evening air. His limited experience and exposure was taxed to the max! The term 'cock sucker' was not unknown to him. It had about as much descriptive appeal as 'holy cow' or 'fucker!' He had never contemplated it true meaning. He had no relict upon which to rely. David with the other Rhinelander boys and seen the glossy magazine pictures of big breasted women sucking some guy's cock. But, that wasn't truly real, just a picture! He had experienced Dian's adept, masterful fellatio. That was real. But, then, they were lovers, of sorts. He would watch her pistoning mouth as it moved up and down his eroticized pole and revel at the sight. Watching her suck him held enormous visual/sexual appeal. But, he had never, even remotely, contemplated what was transpiring before him now. And, in public too. "My Gawd!" is shouted inwardly. The standing man began to thrust his hips, forcing his cock deeper and deeper into that mouth. He stood, riveted to the spot, mouth agape, a trembling mass of incredulity and watched that lascivious tableau vivant. His blood raced through his veins, his breath quickened, beads of sweat sprung out on his forehead and his spine flexed. "Nice, huh?" was whispered in his ear as he felt someone step up behind him. David merely gave the barest hint of a nod. He was transfixed! The whisperer's hand tentatively eased around David's waist, dropped to his crotch and cupped his distending prick. A gasp issued from his partially open mouth. The whisperer's hand began to manipulate, to knead his growing desire. This time a low moan was heard. The whisperer's hand fumbled for the zipper tab of the slacks. Quickly, David grasped the intruding hand, moved it away and stated, emphatically, "Don't!" "Too bad, man . . . you got a nice one." Without really knowing why, David said, "Thanks," and moved back into the main room of the bar. He was breathless. He looked around the bar, became more aware of the various stages of physical contact than before. Walking into an attached room David immediately focused upon a suspended television which was playing a video depicting what he had just witnessed. For some reason this was more acceptable than the in-person-version in the courtyard. He leaned up against the back wall and observed the torrid scenes flitting across the screen. He was being regaled by two well built men, two studs who were blithely sucking each other's pulsating poles. It was comically clinical in the camera's observation. Yet, it was initially erotic. He felt a touch to his left hand. Not wanting to seem outré, he kept his eyes on the screen. A hand grasped his and squeezed lightly. Again he did not react. Then a finger traced its way up his inner wrist and under the sleeve of his sweater and back down again. This tentative, light touch sent slight shivers coursing through his body. It was tantalizing, delicious, frightening! Fingers intertwined with his and again squeezed. Ever so lightly he responded with a slight pressure of his own. The tantalizer's hand released its grip and moved to his chest, lightly rubbing across the wooly covering, concentrating on his nipple area. As one of the 'actors' bent over and totally swallowed his partner's prodigious member, David gasped and turned to his left. It was too dark in the room to see anything but the most meager details of his delicious tormentor. Ever so slowly the guy's hand descended. David held his breath--partly in anticipation, partly with a feeling of unease. The tantalizer's hand hesitated at David's waist as if expecting an admonishment. In truth, David had already rebuked him in the courtyard when he removed the tantalizer's hand from his zipper. But, David didn't know that. Sensing no outward negative reaction the hand slid down to the bulge in David's slacks and again hesitated. The heat of the cupping hand transmitted countless messages, innuendos. Involuntarily, David's hardened dick lurched in its confines. The twitching cock tattooed the appropriate message. The hand kneaded the stiff prisoner and deftly fingered its outline and form. David gasped, but did not otherwise move and iota. It must have been the impersonal quality of that darkened room which allowed David to acquiesce to the tantalizer's fondling. The recording camera zoomed in upon one of the actor's impaled mouth. Slowly the lips pulled off the slathered cock. A tongue snaked forth, encircling the ruddy crest in a licentious, spinning dance. It mesmerized David. He became aware of his tantalizer turning towards him, slipping the fondling hand around his waist and replacing it with his left hand--an equally adept master. The tantalizer moved closer, bracketing, partially David's left thigh with his own and forcing David's lifeless arm between the two bodies. That movement made Davis aware of the tantalizer's arousal. A hardened muscle pressing against David's hand did not need a rocket scientist to explain its state. The stroking left had moved upward, under the sweater and t-shirt an onto David's quaking, bare stomach. David gasped, this time was distinctly audible. The tantalizer smiled and moved his flickering fingers up to an already erect nipple and rolled it between his thumb and forefinger. This time, "Ahhh!" The other nipple was suitably ministered to with the same results. Slowly the lust inducing hand moved back down. It encountered the beltless slacks. Carefully the hand insinuated itself under the waistband. David preferred pants that were comfortable, not tight, but they were not loose enough to allow full infiltration. Tantalizing fingers came in contact with the imprisoned cock and strained to unite with it. David willfully forced his abdominal muscles back, allowing a gap. The hand easily slid downward, under a second, looser waist band, and grasped the now throbbing erection. "Ahhh!" "You have the most beautiful cock!" the tantalizer whispered into David's ear. "Mmmmm!" came the only reply. "I'd love to suck that beauty." David could not reply. Smiling, the tantalizer took another tack with this reticent prize. "You like that video?" David nodded, as he watched the two coupled in a breathtaking, classic soixante-neuf position. "You like watching his cock sliding in and out that mouth?" Saying that tantalizer ran his fingers down to the base of that hard cock. "Ahhh! . . . Yes." The last word was whispered. "Look at that nice cock disappear past those hot lips." The tantalizer squeezed his prize. It reacted with a galvanic lurch as did David's whole body. Slowly the tantalizer began to slide his encircling hand up and down the length of that quaking man-meat! "Mmmmm, Nice!" Then, "Wouldn't you love to feel somebody's hot lips moving up and down your cock shaft like that?" "Ahhhhhh!" came out louder. The tantalizer's thumb rubbed the swollen cock-head. "Oh, Gawd." David was at the point of fleeing again. Holding his imprisoning hand still about that superheated tool, he crooned, "I'd love to unzip your pants and kneel down in front of you. I'd love to slip that beautiful cock out and cover it with kisses. I'd love to run my tongue up and down that shaft and tongue your mushroom, cock-head." The combination of the video with its hunks sucking each other's massive cocks, the softly, expertly fondling of his burgeoning member and the lascivious phrases being whispered into his ear had forced David to a pinnacle of desire. He wanted release. But, here? Certainly not! And, with this person, a man? It was a conundrum with erotic implications David was not sure he wanted to face. He felt no elemental revulsion. Quite to the contrary, he found the past few minutes exceedingly pleasurable. "I want to feel your hard cock deep in my throat as I tongue your balls. I want to play with your nipples as I suck you. I want to run my hands over your tight abs and . . . Oh, I want to feel your strong thighs!" David felt his knees shake. His mouth went dry. His head was light and his thoughts began to spin around his steel-hard cock. He even wanted to feel the tantalizer's cock which had been pressed against his hand throughout this whole, delicious ordeal. Then with pleading insistence, "Hey, stud, Can I suck you?" was whispered soto voce into his ear. "I can't!" David nearly wailed aloud. "Why?" "Too many people around," David offered. His reply had its own logic. David had been eroticized beyond the point of rational response. What conscious volition he had left augured a negative response. But his body demanded release, If he had not been brought to this level of passion, bordering on abandon, he might have reacted in a completely different manner. But, the fact was: he had been manipulated to such a state of elemental lust that the only obvious act was to allow his now supercharged libido full reign. Somewhere, deep inside he wondered what the consequences might be. "Come to my place, then, It's near . . . just down the block." Quickly David shook his head. "Your place?" Again a quick shake of the head. The tantalizer was incredulous. Here was this hot stud, who was obviously horny and who enjoyed being felt up, but balked at the gate! Still with his left hand softly manipulating that still firm rod, he studied David. His eyes narrowed as if in understanding. "Would you like to have your cock sucked?" the tantalizer probed. David gave no positive sign, merely stared at the images on the screen as his cock lurched. "That wasn't such a hard question! Would . . . you . . . like to have . . . your . . . cock . . . sucked?" His insistent whisper did not brook a neutral response. Ever so slightly, David nodded his head. "Ah! One hurdle covered," the tantalizer thought. Then he moved on. "Have you ever had your cock sucked?" David could not answer. It was funny. He had no qualms freely admitting to Dian when they made love the first time, that it was the first time for him. Yet for some reason, now, he could not bring himself to admit his total lack of experience in this realm. "You've never been sucked off, have you?" No response. "Have you!" and with that he squeezed the pulsing, fiery cock. David shook his head, then turned and looked into the eyes of the tantalizer. He smiled, "Not to worry," he said softly. He hugged David with his waist-encircling right arm, slowly slipped his left hand from that delicious thing, smoothed the sweater, and stepped back. David looked, wild eyed. "My name's Rick," he said quietly. David did not introduce himself. Then with a smile, "Come on! Let's go!" David gazed intently inward debating. "Come on! It's OK . . . ." then added with a smirk, "You're safe with me . . . not into rape!" A fleeting smirk flashed across David's face. "Rape," he thought, "would be difficult." Rick was a couple of inches shorter than David and easily ten to twelve pounds lighter. He could hold his own with him. Without a conscious decision David followed Rick out of Our Place. They walked a half block and into a small, older apartment building. Several times along the way David nearly aborted the whole thing. The apartment was on the first floor towards the back. Rick entered and switched on a table lamp. It was an efficiency apartment of what appeared to be an average student. Happily, it was neat. It looked like David's digs--no fussy bric-a-brac, just a few family pictures, a table with two chairs, one easy chair and a sofa-bed. David sat in the easy chair, a bit apprehensive. "Care for a beer?" Rick asked. "No thanks, think I've had enough." Actually David had only one beer at Our Place. "How about a cola?" "Sure," not knowing what else to do and also delaying the inevitable. Rick handed the can to David and sat on the sofa-bed. "Is this your first time . . . with another guy?" "Yeah." "Thought so . . . Just relax man. . . . don't worry you won't have to do anything you don't want." David smiled wanly and said, "OK!" David had no idea of procedure in this circumstance. Slowly, Rick reached over and stroked David's thigh, "Relax, man." Then he added, "Do you want to change your mind?" David merely shook his head. The hand moved towards his crotch. Rick was not surprised to find a detumescent dick, but his expert hands soon revived it. David set down the cola and closed his eyes partially in anticipation, partially out of embarrassment. Within seconds he was raging hard. "Stand up, man," Rick urged. David complied and then he felt his zipper being lowered, the waist band unsnapped and his slacks were deftly pushed to the floor. Next his briefs were stripped down. "Jeeze, what a beautiful dick!" Almost instantly David felt his cock engulfed within the warm, moist confines of Rick's mouth, Rick knelt in front of him and as he sucked; his hands lightly moved over firm thighs and ass and up towards a muscular chest. "Ahhh, Gawd!" David lost his virginity for a second time! But it was strangely joyless. After a thundering, knee jerking orgasm, Rick guided the panting, satiated neophyte to the sofa-bed. The violent, physical discharge took only minutes to achieve. But it was momentous! "Rest a minute, I need to use the john." Moments later Rick returned wearing only his briefs and carrying a steaming wash cloth with which he wiped David's cock and balls. The warm, moist cloth felt wonderful. "Here, sit up," Rick ordered. Stripping off the sweater and t-shirt, David was by then completely nude. "Roll over, I'll give you a back massage." David complied. "His hands were as talented as his mouth," David thought. Indeed, Rick was an expert at massage. Soon any tension that remained in David's body was completely kneaded away. "Turn on your back man." "The name's, David," he finally admitted. "Thought you were keeping it a secret!" came the smiling reply. David rolled over and gazed at Rick. "You've got a lot of talents! That massage was super!" Rick smiled, "Mmmm, and so do you." Saying that his hand moved to David's detumescent cock and fondled it, teasingly. To his surprise, it reacted with a jerk and began to lengthen again. "WOW! So soon?" That said Rick stripped off his briefs and reinstituted a variation of the dance that had been performed a short fifteen minutes before. Rick was a bit younger than David, but infinitely more experienced. He knew enough not to force any issue, merely to guide this wonder through the initial labyrinth of man-to-man sexuality. This time Rick moved at a leisurely pace. He focused on David's neck, ears, armpits and chest with a tongue that David thought was electrically charged. Soon he was writhing from the tongue-centered foreplay. This tonguing coupled with Rick's warm, supple, nude body in contact with his heightened his delight. David soon relaxed and even mentally willed Rick's hands to explore his waiting flesh--his nipples, pecs, quaking stomach, wrinkled ball-sack and thighs. Quietly, Rick complied to these unspoken demands. Without any prodding he catalogued the feel of this wonder's body as his fingers moved, paused and moved again over the surface. From time to time he would raise up and observe this wondrous plaything stretched out beside him, which passively accepting the various techniques he employed. Soon these ministrations caused David to lust for the action that had brought him over the edge those minutes before. But Rick assiduously avoided any contact with his quaking cock. It stood erect, pointing upward, waiting. David felt Rick's own hardened member pressing against him, insistently. Finally, the delicious pain could be endured no longer. "Suck me!" David gasped. This time, release was not so quick in coming, in part due to the thunderous eruption those minutes before and in part because when Rick became suspect that the plateau was being reached he backed off. David was brought to the edge and forced to cool off, brought to the edge again and again. It was delicious torture! Finally, another approach was employed. Rick straddled the sheathed, lubed cock and sat on it. At first David was thrown off by the impending action, but once imbedded, any negative concern was quickly swept away. Rick moved up and down on that impaling rod. Soon David was thrusting upward into that tight love-tunnel in concert with its downward movements. He opened his eyes, which had been shut for most of this second session, and looked not at Rick's face, but his bouncing torso and at the raging cock bobbing up and down just above his belly. This furtive stare did not go unnoticed. "Touch it," Rick pleaded. David had never up to this time touched another guy's cock. He was subconsciously driven to touch it. He grasped that throbbing thing and began to manipulate it in time with his ass-fucked cock. Both men achieved release almost simultaneously. David's belly and chest were anointed with glistening, lustral fluid. The same type of viscous man-juice that had exploded in its latex confines deep in Rick's gut. Later, after they had showered--David refused the invitation to shower together--Rick suggested that David spend the night. For that David was not prepared, not willing, he quietly refused the invitation Rick asked if they could get together again, the next day, Sunday. David declined, offering a number of excuses. Rick gave David his telephone number and said that if he changed his mind, he could call him. David, with grace, accepted the slip of paper and stated that he would, but knew that he would not, could not. This then became the ubiquitous 'one-night-stand.' For David, it was his first, and, as it turned out, it would be his only foray into that realm. For Rick, it had not been, and would not be for some time! For some, these brief, fleeting, furtive encounters were de rigueur. Commitment was assiduously avoided and brief, meaningless, impersonal couplings became an end in and of themselves. This was not the case with Rick. He desired to share his life meaningfully with someone. However, his approach tended to sidetrack the possibility. If he courted someone over a period of time, rather than hastening to bed on the first encounter, he might achieve his goal. He was a gentle, passionate, caring man for whom any thinking individual would gladly consider as a partner. But, his saga was yet to be finished. Sunday morning David got up around 9:30, fixed a pot of coffee, showered and sat in the living room trying to piece together what had happened. The occurrences of the past twelve hours carried with them not apparent erotic stimulation. He pieced together that sensual scenario from first walking into Our Place 'til he exited Rick's apartment. Step by step, minute by minute he surgically dissected each and every touch, reaction and feeling, trying to make some sense of it. The truth was that David was unable to deal with this problem in any logical manner. His actions, or more precisely, his reactions defied logic--at least any logical premise that he was prepared to accept at the time. He tried to analyze the occurrences of the past night. When he realized that Our Place was a gay bar, why didn't he leave? No acceptable answer. Why was he so taken when he encountered the 'suck session' in the courtyard? No acceptable answer. Why did he get aroused then? No acceptable answer except that it was an unusual sexually focused sight. Why didn't he immediately leave when that initial contact was made by Rick in the courtyard? No acceptable answer. Why was his attention so riveted to the porn video? No acceptable answer. Why didn't he push away the hand at that second probing in the TV room? No acceptable answer. Did he find some delight in being fondled? Yes! Why? No acceptable answer. Why did he follow him back to his apartment? No acceptable answer. Did he enjoy getting a blow job? Yes! Why? No acceptable answer. Did he find delight in fucking that ass? Yes! Why? No acceptable answer. Did he like feeling that other man's cock? On that he was neutral. Why? No acceptable answer. En toto, David could make no sense over what had transpired the night before and his reactions. Was it an aberration? No! The situations had existed, his reactions were real. Was last night aberrant, atypical? That it was! Did he take pleasure in the physical releases? Yes! Did he look forward to a repeat of the same? No, he didn't think so. It was a conundrum of elemental importance.