Date: Wed, 10 Nov 2021 15:48:09 +0000 (UTC)
From: "ozorli65@aol.com" <ozorli65@aol.com>
Subject: All for Terry (45)

This is the continuing story of the utterly beautiful Terry.

I was going through some old boxes of things and found some
adult magazines I used to have.  I hadn't seen them in years.
As I went through them I saw a wrapped package and there were a few more
in there. But these were covered in plastic. The guy in the cover of
them, I had actually met a few times. Before I knew who he was of course.
But I always thought he was the most gorgeous man I had ever seen.

As I mentioned, I had actually met him a few times. It turns that we had
worked in the same building. And it wasn't until sometime later that I
found he was the guy in my magazines.
This story is for him. A kind of 'What if' story about a guy I wanted for
many years, but fate never made that fantasy come true.

This is for Terry. Where ever he may be.

Enjoy....
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All for Terry
(Chapter 45)
The Collapse of Me...

... I stood there, eyes wide as the two policemen stood there at my door.
The woman telling me that Terry's car had gone over the cliff in the
hills. Ending up at the bottom a hundred plus feet below. The car found
still burning and a body outside the vehicle burnt and dismembered.

"Still haven't found all of it" the man said

But they found who owned the destroyed car with the body just outside it.
It was Terry's car. And the body suggested a male at approximately over 6
feet 'based off what they could collect' at the scene.
They described the burnt car and the license number. And a few things in
the car that survived the accident. It was Terry's car. His big black
luxury car. He loved that car. But it was gone. And from what they were
telling me, he was too. The body near the car suggesting it was him that
was tossed out of the windshield when it crashed. Then as the car struck
him again he was killed. Then the car exploding into a ball of flames.
The explosion taking the body with it. And probably animals in the hills.
"Coyotes" one said finding the body and taking pieces of it off into the
night.

"No" I quietly huffed
"No. He was just here yesterday. "
"He went out and never came back"
"I tried to call him. But he didn't answer"

The reality of what was happening here struck me. Like an arrow hitting
me. Hell like a sledgehammer hitting me. That was how it felt. I screamed
and collapsed to the floor. Fainting.

"Noo. Nooo nooo!" I shrieked
"He. He. Ohh God. Terry. Terry"

I was hysterical in my cries now. He was gone. Terry was gone. Dead. And
my head pushed the last day plus into my thoughts. All the yelling, the
shouting, the cursing between us. It had happened. And it was the last
thing that had happened between us.
Then the horrible things I had said. Those words that now burnt across my
cranium. "Drop dead'. I had said that. It was one if the last things I
had said to Terry in my anger. "Drop dead!" And now he was. He was dead,
gone, wiped out.
There was a crushing pressure in my chest. The immediate pain of the news
striking me. It was too much. I fainted from the shrieks coming from me.
The pressure in my head stopping my breathing. I felt I could just die
there as I gazed off

"Nooo!" Echoed out inside my head seemingly for ever.
"Noo. Terry, noo!"

Then the darkness fell over me. Sweeping in like a cold night wond.
Chilling me to the bone. I hoped it was death coming for me, for I could
not fathom the news I had just heard. I coukd not take this tragedy that
had befallen me. News I never would have imagined hearing. But I had. Was
it real? Or was I just going mad.
I looked out into the darkness before me. It was very cold in this place.
This dank dark place that may be the tomb. This place in my head that was
reserved for my quiet suffering. A place I fell into in the past where
only I lived.
I then called out in the darkness. Calling Terry's name. Hoping he heard
me and would show up. That this was all just a bad dream, this horrible
news. That I would see his stunning face come in through the darkness.
Smoking at me.

"Its not true" I heard myself say
"It cannot be. Its my Terry. My love"
"Its just a joke being played to 'show me"

I pondered this. There in the darkness I pondered this. Was Terry playing
a horrible joke on me. Something to teach me a lesson for making him feel
shitty. 'No' I heard myself say. 'No' he wouldn't. He would not make me
suffer such pain.
Then I thought that yes indeed it was a dream. A horrific nightmare
created by the escalating tension between us. Maybe Terry was right. Not
that I would cheat on him with Serge. That was always a non-issue. Serge
was sweet and cute and all. But he was not the man I loved. Even at his
most charming he was but a fraction of what Terry made me feel. Terry was
my world. And no love would ever stop my love for him. He was my all
So no I would not cheat on him with Serge. Which was what got this up to
such a boil. His jealousy of my friendship with the man. But I did let
Serge get too close. He had become my best friend in the short time I
knew him. Telling each other secrets and things most private. I let him
in and I know that it bothered Terry that I had gotten so close to this
guy he knew little about. But all my other friends have somewhat become
distant. And he was here near me. So I let him friend me.

"Never would I" I heard in my head.
"I love you Terry. Only you"

I then heard my name being called out. Out there in the darkness. I hoped
it was Terry. Waking me from this nightmare that had come in the night to
drive me to madness. It was a familiar voice. A soft gentle voice. Then I
felt the heat of someones hand on my head. They are stroking me. A
soothing stroke to calm me.

"It's okay. I am here" came the voice
"I am here with you"

So I opened my eyes and looked up. There before me was the face of my
friend Serge. That sweet bearded face. I looked up at him and smile.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him
"You are in the hospital" he said with a half smile
"You have been unconscious for several hours"
"What? Why. Why am I here?"

I sat up and looked about. I was in the hospital. And it was just me an
Serge there. So I asked him again. Why was i there? And where was Terry?
Serge looked at my face with a bit of concern. Then he called someone
back in to the room. It was the police. I wondered why they were there.
What was going on? And where was Terry?

"I don't understand" I started to say
"You don't remember the police showing up to your house sometime ago"?
Serge asked

I sat there trying to process this. Trying to pull back what Serge was
saying. There had been a knock on the door, and it was the police. Then
it hit me again. I remembered why they had come. I remember the words
that spilled from the cops mouth about Terry's car. Down in the canyon
floor after obviously losing control and going over the edge if the
cliff.
I felt my heart start to race. Then I looked over at Serge. He had tears
welling up in his eyes for me, for the pain he knew I was feeling. And
then the flood gates opened again. And I started to bawl. Then scream as
the reality hit me again.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, noo!" I screamed

The one cop quickly shut the door. Serge climbed up in the bed and pulled
me into his arms and held me tightly. I was pulled to his chest and
started to just scream into it. The tears like torrents. My hand grabbing
at his arm that held me. The 'noos' bellowing put of me.
Serge just held me choose to his body. He rocked me back and forth as he
sat there next to me. Hold my to him as my heart died right there in his
arms.

"I'm here" he huffed
"I am here. I am here"
"I won't let you go. I am here"

I was soon gasping as I could not breath again. And in the heat of his
embrace I fainted again. Falling back into the blackness once more.
"Terry" pushed from my lips as I went under again.

I awoke again and it was light outside. So I took it that morning had
arrived. I looked up to the tiled ceiling of the hospital room. Again
unsure where I was for a moment. I looked over and seated in the chair to
the left was Serge. He had stayed there with me all night. Stayed there
to keep me company. But why? I thought. Why was he here with me. "Where's
Terry?"
And then again I was struck with what happened. Again the night before
washed over me. The knock on the door, the police, the terrible news. And
again my heart began to pick up speed, my breathing quickly getting harsh
and labored. And I started to sniffle. The tears quickly began to flow.
And as I chirped out a sound serge shot up in his half asleep state. He
saw me in my immediate troubles again and rushed iver to the side of the
bed. He grabbed my hand and touched my head. Quickly stroking and trying
to sooth me

"Its okay. I am here." He said again
"Calm down. You gonna calm down"
"Terry. Ohh God Terry!" I cried out
"My Terry. Why. Why?"

I started to bawl again. Almost uncontrollably. Crying out at my loss. He
called the nurse in and she came. But as she came close I pulled myself
to Serge. Holding to him as protection for some reason. Still bawling
into his shirt.
She came in and gave me another sedative to try and calm me. But I was
sure nothing in this world would. Nothing medically or physically would
fix the utter shattering of My heart. My world had just ended.
Completely....
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To be continued