Date: Sat, 1 Oct 2016 21:24:04 +0000
From: Max Dowling <maxieplus@hotmail.com>
Subject: Ask Me 59

Ask me 59

Emptiness, a cold house and a heavy heart were all I could feel when we got
in. Ted headed for the TV and I headed for the bathroom for a good cry,
shit I'm starting this journey early. I thought the crying would probably
click in around the third week. My phone went, it was Con, I was still
sniffing when I said hello. He was very down and they had just cleared
Australia to head for New Zealand then Los Angeles. I told him the house
was cold without him then I babbled my way through the missing you badly
stage. I had to put Ted on who was not fussed, this was an interruption to
his cartoons he was half watching, half talking. I took the phone and
laughed at the thought we won't have to worry about our boy, it was this
big boy that had the worries. Con spoke for an hour then I could feel the
tiredness in his voice so I said my goodbyes as he sang a lovely verse to
me.It was the song we were writing, I laughed and said I would get back to
him.

John and Ray came in with our dinner and the table was all set by the time
Ted and I got out of the shower, we had dressed for bed...saves doing it
later. They were my distraction for a couple of hours and surprise,
surprise, Ted asked John to read his story which he did as I cleaned up
while making small talk with Ray.

"They will be in New Zealand now refueling the jet," he said.

"Yes Con sounded tired so I hope they didn't wake him." I sort of laughed.

`You know Brent before you came on the scene he travelled overseas a
lot. Every time he took a little bit of our hearts with him but apart from
a few drinking binges he came back rather unscathed and full of
confidence. We watched that confidence grow in him and were very proud to
call him our nephew. It was hard for us to give him up to you but we knew
it was the right thing to do. He loves you so very much and John and I know
now what Conner sees in you, something we hadn't given him, something we
had missed Brent. He got that something when you arrived.

He learnt to love himself, to respect his worth and mainly he learnt
humility. All that he got from you, from your insistence he doesn't spoil
you to your will to make people you don't know happy, for that we thank
you.

Beth would have absolutely loved you Brent and you would have loved her,
you have so much in common."



By this time my tears were running down my cheeks. I reached for the
tissues and wiped my face, the one thing I did know was I loved him very
deeply, not because he was famous and rich but because he was my Conner, my
lover and my friend and I missed him so much...shit he's only been gone for
six hours. Again I reached for those bloody tissues.



John came back and made a wise crack to Ray about getting me crying
again. Ted had told him I was crying in the bathroom earlier. I said I had
better watch that and he said Ted didn't know why but he thought you might
be sad that dad has gone away for a while. He's more excited about seeing
him on TV when it happens. I slept in my son's bed that night and the next
and the next.



Con had arrived to a star gathering, there were photos all over the
newsstands and TV and heaps of publicity for the casino gig. The papers
were saying he might be there for six months according to their inside
information. Deals were talked about and big money was to be exchanged. I
took it all in my stride. Con didn't call every night but he tried to be in
touch as much as he could. If it wasn't Con, it was Grant and not really
surprisingly Adam or Rob. They assured me everything was okay. Con was
missing us terribly and he spent all his spare time sleeping. Rob laughed
when he told me he slept a lot because he wanted the time to go faster. I
sometimes heard Ted on the phone to Con. He was saying he was looking after
me and I was no longer sad because he slept with me every night.



Of course while all this was happening I landed in hospital again, just for
a couple of nights my bloods were all over the place and I had a bit of a
fever. The doctor wanted me in there to do more tests just in case I
developed pneumonia, which was on the cards knowing my lousy luck. John and
Ray looked after Ted and I had made them promise not to tell Conner, he
would only worry. Once again Ted was brought in before school and then
after school, he slept in with John and Ray. I answered my phone when Con
called the second night and he didn't suspect a thing...I lied. Oh, just
puffed hanging out the wash. Teds over at Sean's place, no just got a
slight sniffle, that sort of lying, but I got through it and was discharged
the morning of the third day. The antibiotics would help and I assured the
doctor I would look after myself. He told me it could have been worse but
was happy with my progress. I sort of got a telling off because, as usual,
I should have known better. But it didn't turn into anything serious.



Everybody that mattered was told not to say anything to Con or his
entourage. All got better at home and Ted and I were back on track that was
until I read the headlines. 'Australian Rock star to marry Las Vegas
dancer.' Now you don't believe that do you? And neither did I, she looked
like a lovely girl but maybe she didn't know Rick Conners was already
married to me. If I had gone to the press they would have accused him of
bigamy. Poor girl, he bought her a beautiful ring which she showed off for
the cameras, along with her very ample breasts it must have cost him a
bomb, the ring I mean, not the breasts. All I got was a party.



The phone started almost straight after the clip on, Entertainment Tonight,
no comment, no comment, no comment. I took the phone off the hook, everyone
that matters has my mobile number and it stayed silent.



I tried to ring Conner that night but there was no answer so I will wait
until he rings me. In the meantime I did my thing not thinking anything was
wrong. I went to bed early and slept well, the mucus on my lungs was
breaking up, the pills doing their job but the morning coughing fits
weren't the best look.



Ray dropped Ted off to school. I wanted to go and see how Mary was and
spent a good few hours with her. She and Tony are going great guns, he
adores her and she's on top of the world. She had nothing but good things
to say about Tom and Tan who had insisted she keep talking to him because
he doesn't want to relapse. She didn't think he would but she went along
with it. Later I said my goodbyes and went up to the school.



Ted was sitting by himself, no mates today, he was very quiet when I hugged
him and at training he was more than quiet, that was until he lashed out at
Bubby, he tried to kick his bum and had his fists at the ready.

"Hey Ted, what's going on?" I asked.

"Nothing," he said rather curtly.

"Bubby?"

"I don't know, ask him." He indicated Ted.

"Okay enough, time to go home and Ted naughty corner for three minutes when
we get there."

He didn't speak to me at all just gave me this dreadful look.

I had asked Andy what was going on and he told me he would speak to Sean
and Bubby on the way home, he had noticed something was out of kilter.



My phone rang as soon as we walked in the door and it was Con. We talked
about his shows and how much he was missed. He told me he was looking after
himself and not to believe everything I hear, which I knew anyway. He said
the woman was a bit simple and was trying to get back at her boyfriend for
leaving her. She was a dancer in his show but not anymore, and in fact the
hotel banned her from their premises. He asked about Ted, who had stood in
the corner as soon as he got in. I looked over and he was crying, my God
why didn't I notice that. I walked out to the backyard.

"There's something awfully wrong Con, he's not himself. I had to punish him
but I just noticed he's crying so I will have to call you back."



"Okay can you put him on for a minute?"



"Teddy, daddy is on the line, he wants to talk to you."

"I don't want to talk to him, I hate him, I hate him," he yelled at me then
ran up to his room, the door slammed.

"Con I am going to have to call you back, he doesn't want to talk to you."

"What's going on Brent, please try to put him on please," he begged.

I went up to Ted's room; he was on his bed clutching his pillow.

"Please Teddy talk to dad, he misses you so bad."

He looked at me then the phone, I handed it over.



"Go away, leave me alone. I'm staying with daddy, you go and get married
for all I care and don't come back either. I hate you," he screamed down
the phone his tears flowing, then continued,

"I don't have a mummy, I have two daddies, I don't want Brent to leave, you
married him not that girl. I hate you, I hate you." He threw the phone on
the bed, my jaw dropped, he was so distraught and wound up. I crawled onto
the bed and took my boy into my arms, telling him it's all right, I will
fix things but the phone was silent when I finally picked it up. Con had
gone.



I kissed our boy and started to try and explain how some nasty people are
rude to his daddy, the girl isn't going to marry dad because he is already
married to me and we have a beautiful little boy called Ted who we love to
bits. He shouldn't be so upset because of someone's lies.



"But Bubby said she was on TV last night and said she was getting married
to daddy."

"He did see that but he didn't see big Rick saying he wanted to get
married, just some stupid girl, lies that's all that was Teddy." I turned
his tear streaked face to mine and continued. "He loves you very much, he
wouldn't hurt you like that or me honey. Dad and I are married and we are
not going to go away so try and forget these lies because they are just
that, lies baby."



 I hugged him, he cried more and he held onto me tight and my heart broke
when he whispered,

"I thought I had done something bad to daddy and he didn't want us anymore
that's why I gets upset." I looked into his bright eyes and answered,

"Why would you think that Teddy, you have always been a good boy and we
both love you so dearly?"



It was John's voice coming through the back door that pulled me out of the
moment.

"What on earth has happened in here? Con's on the phone to Ray, who's
trying to calm him down, he's really very upset."

"Lies, innuendo and that unseen eyewitness that is always there in the
background, and Con's upcoming nuptials."

"Oh." He looked at Ted sadly.

"It's all a bloody pack of lie's Teddy,"John said.

"Teddy please talk to daddy, he's hurting that you maybe hate him. Can you
please just say hello and listen to what he will be saying to you, just for
a minute?"



He thought about it then jumped off the bed and ran next door, we caught up
with him as he took the phone out of Ray's hands.

"Hello daddy?"

"Yes daddy."

"No daddy, Nana says you and Brent will look after me. I gets mad because
you getting married, I don't want her, I want Brent, daddy."

"Okays, I suppose so."

"Yes lies daddy. I love you too."



He talked for the next half hour. I am thinking Con is just telling him how
much he loves us and he will be home at the end of next week, or maybe not
as he still hasn't talked about his optional two weeks. But after today I'm
quite confident he will be home very soon. John fed us, Ted kept himself
close to me and I apologized to him for making him stand in the corner. But
in future he is to ask us adults before he makes his mind up about anything
like this.



Andy called but it was all over rover by that time. Ted's

grandies were bathing him and we both are having another early night. I
told him what happened and he just told me Bubby had seen it and asked Ted
if he was getting a new mommy. Andy laughed, when he said,

"I set them straight, they seem to grasp it and they will apologize to Ted
in the morning." I told him Ted would apologize too.



We said our goodnights and I went to get ready for bed. I think,'Frozen,'
tonight, he will drop off ten minutes into the movie as he's had a big day,
oh so much to load on a small child's shoulders. I sent a goodnight message
to Con,

`Your son is okay and asleep here next to me, come home soon, we miss
you. Love you to the moon and back.'

`Sleep well my gorgeous husband and son, I love you both,' was the reply.



All was good in the morning, our little meltdown was almost forgotten and I
had a sober heart to heart with Ted.  He understood it wasn't Bub's fault
and said he would apologize at school. John arrived with breakfast and Ted
actually sat with us at the table to eat it, I winked at John.

"Ray has got to go into Go Ship early Brent and I need to shop so can you
drive Ted today?"

"Yep, I'll take my son to school, he's a happy lad today and that's the way
he's going to stay." I smiled as Ted giggled through his scrambled eggs.



We met the boys when we got there and they all hugged and it was business
as usual and Ted skipped off with them to play before the bell went. I
filled Andy in and then had to get home to do some washing. That night Ted
was watching for his dad on, 'World News,' but he wasn't on so I switched
to, 'Entertainment Tonight.' Con was on and he was being interviewed
outside the casino. He said he didn't know the woman and his partner and
son at home were very upset she had made up lies about him. He finished
with a,'I love you babe, I love you even more son. 'We went with that, it
wasn't his fault and he didn't mention our names thank God. Ted clapped...I
think his happy face is back. That night he wet the bed again.



I wanted to talk to Mary about it, not that it concerned me; it was just to
see if there was anything I could do about it. My nursing skills didn't
extend into a little kid's brain.

"It's pretty normal Brent, truth be known his mates probably occasionally
have these accidents, it's pretty common. He's still only five going on six
but if he sounds worried about it then bring him to me. I can help him
think it's pretty normal, but medically wise I can't. Maybe mention it to
your doctor at your next visit and see if he has any suggestions." She was
concerned but not as worried as me. I was only worried because of what Ted
would be thinking and I don't want him to feel bad about himself.



"There's also another scenario Brent. Ted has known about Conner's concerts
for awhile now. Maybe it's his way of telling you and him he's not happy
that he's gone away. Has it gotten worse since Con has been away?" I
flopped back onto the couch.

"My God, I never thought of that Mary, of course it did. Apart from maybe
two or three times after we got him. It's about five times since Marty
first brought the overseas trip up. God I feel so stupid, Ted is fretting."



"Well that's probably the answer; it was hard for him yesterday so his body
reacted. Lots of hugs and kisses and reassurances that Conner will come
home soon I think should see a different little man. Maybe you should
insist Con come home as soon as he can and next time maybe take Ted and
you. It's an insecurity thing Brent. He will learn to relax when he
realizes nothing bad is going to happen when one of his parents go
away."But I wasn'ttotally convinced it was all nerves and wanted to explore
some more.



I thought I would bite the bullet and ask Andy about it. After all he's
been a dad longer than me and he might give me another perspective. He said
Sean and Bubby have night accidents and they had spoken to Sean about it,
telling him everything's normal. They didn't want him to think it was
something unnatural so they keep an eye on his fluid intake, which helps.

They had tried to wake him during the night but this made him really grumpy
in the mornings, so he said don't worry so much and Ted will grow out of
it.



I thought I would talk to Ted and it turned out he was worried about it so
I told him it was normal for little kids to do that and he wasn't to worry
about it at all. He told me he was worried that he was the captain of a
footy team and still wets his bed. I said I am sure Daniel Lawrence wet his
bed when he was his age and he looked at me like I had told him a big fat
lie.



That night I rang Cody and asked him to do me a favor. He laughed all
through the conversation but then said,

"Brent, Tim didn't stop having accidents until he was seven and Donny
stopped when he was about six so don't sweat it mate. I will get Dan to
ring him, it will be interesting to hear what he will say to him, it's
something I don't know about Dan." We had a really pleasant catch up; I
love this guy.



The next night Dan rang and wanted to talk captain to captain to Ted. His
fists were so tight as he took the phone and they had a long conversation
about their footy season, he was surprised that Dan knew the final scores
and then he started telling him about his medals but the conversation went
quiet for awhile, then the grin on Ted's face looked like it was
permanently painted on, he thanked Dan and then hung up.

Ted never told me what Dan said but boy was he a happy little kid.



"He will be home in the morning baby so clean up your room and put your
toys away."

"But he might not know us anymore dad, we should go now just in case he's
gets there early, we might miss him."

"No baby, he will be at the airport in the morning, he's somewhere over the
Pacific Ocean at the moment, probably having a nap."

"But daddy, he might miss us."

"Ted clean up your room, do your homework, have dinner and a big sleep then
in the morning we will go pick him up." He still didn't believe me but
started throwing his toys into his closet anyway.



At dinner he was whispering to John that he should go and see if his daddy
is at the airport, he might be waiting.

"Okay Teddy, I will ring my friend who works there and he can have a look
for him." John got on the phone to god knows who and said to his friend,

"Hello its Mr. John here. Teddy Richards wants to know if his daddy, Rick
Conners, was at the airport yet?"

"Well can you look for him and ring me back, thank you?"

He smiled and winked at me then hung up.

Ten minutes later the phone rang and Ted's eyes lit up.

"Hello, Mr. John speaking."

"Yes sir, no sir, okay I will let him know, thank you sir."

He hung up and looked at Ted.



"Rick Conner's plane is due to land at ten am in the morning and at the
moment it is up very high in the sky. My friend spoke to, Dave, the pilot
and he told him they were on time so you're not to worry about going out to
the airport tonight. You should get a good night sleep and get dad to take
you in the morning. Ted was happy with that, but I think that's what I just
told him.



He walked through the custom's door into a private lounge and I could see
Adam and Marty talking to Grant about the best way to get through the
crowds that were there to see Conner. My heart was pounding as Ted suddenly
let go of my hand and ran to him. Con picked him up, kissing him and smiled
at me, Ted was full on bawling by this time, he was extremely, overtired.



"I think you leave me and Brent. I scared you not come home again, please
don't go away again, please stay wiv us." He sort of caused a bit of a
scene, many of the women in the lounge especially had moved in closer. I
know how they were feeling because all I wanted to do was take our little
boy home and hold him forever, his little heart was breaking.

"Brent, Brent look, it's our daddy," he sobbed.

All I could do was smile. Con handed me his backpack and stroked my cheek,
tears swelling my eyes.

I spotted a luggage trolley so thought I would distract Teddy from his
little boy crisis, Con would be another hour with his media and fans.

"Ted hop on here and dad will take you for a ride, come on baby."

I put the backpack onto the trolley but he wouldn't let go of Con's neck.

"Welcome home baby," I mouthed.



He smiled and sort of leered at me, his blue eyes kick started my heart and
I instantly fell in love again, if ever that was more possible.



I eventually pried our son off him so he could do the media and we sat a
bit out of the way and watched him. Teddy was on the brink of exhaustion; I
suspect he didn't sleep well last night.

"He did well Brent, there were no problems except he missed you and Ted."
Adam smiled as he sat with us watching the circus.

"That's good to hear Adam, I was worried he would maybe turn to the bottle
with boredom."

"No, he didn't drink at all. We played a lot of cards and watched heaps of
TV and when Rob left. I filled his spare time up with sleeping and seeing
shows. I kept him busy, Grant kept him safe, Marty counted the money," he
chuckled.

"That's good, the reviews were all good here, his shows were amazing from
what I heard and I knew they would be anyway."

"Yeah the only hiccup was that stupid woman, but Con fixed that. He sent
the boyfriend and her double tickets to dinner and a show, they seemed to
bond again, it's a bloody crazy place Brent."

"Lies, daddy, lies," I heard a little boy's voice say.

"Yes son, all lies," I replied as I pulled him closer.



I had brought our car so Grant and some of his Melbourne men walked us to
it then made sure we were left alone. We put Ted into his big boy's seat
and Con had to sit in the back next to him but managed a lasting kiss
behind one of the pylons that holds the car park roof on.



On the way home Ted talked on and off in between crying, he was so
overtired. Con and I knew he would go straight to sleep as soon as we got
onto the freeway and probably sleep through the rest of the day. I watched
them in the rear vision mirror; they both could do with a good
sleep. Conner's eyes were so fucking droopy and sexy.

"Thank God, you turned up at the right time; he's been up since five this
morning. He wanted to go to the airport last night but thanks to John, he
waited."

"I know John called me."

"So it was you on the phone?"

"Yes baby, I rang back, I figured he wouldn't believe you." He laughed and
Grant who was sitting in the front with me patted my hand in sympathy.



Ted was making little boy's snores when we pulled up outside the
house. Grant carried him into bed and we both kissed him then left for
coffee with Ray and John.

Conner talked about his concerts and the hotel, he couldn't have been made
more welcome and it was great they had bent over backwards to accommodate
him and the band.

Grant assured me again there was no trouble, that all Con did was sleep and
eat. He did do a lot of media but Adam had it covered as Marty started his
shit again but only for a few days then he settled down.



"You should get Marty to do your next album Con, he's more into it than
you." I laughed. It was time to have a nap so the guys left us to it;
Grant's replacement had arrived, as he had to go home to sleep. The media
will be all over Con on Monday. He has a full day, but for today and
tomorrow, he's all ours.



He showered and crawled into bed where I began our routine again. I gave
him head and he thanked me, dropping off as soon as I wiped us both. A
sleepy Ted came in with us about two hours later. I really didn't want him
to sleep the day away but what the hell. I snuggled into him and he was
back to sleep in no time.



As it happened Con and Ted had slept that afternoon and early into the
night but I had gotten up to eat and talk to John. Both my boys came and
did the same, about an hour later, then they both went back to bed again.

I crawled in around ten that was after I sorted out Con's luggage.There
wasn't much washing, thanks to Adam; he must have had it all done in
Vegas. There were tour guides, used tickets and receipts in one bag. Con
must have seen a few shows to kill the time. A little boy mumbled when I
got into bed. I thought he said something about his daddy but didn't quite
catch it; I kissed them both and fell asleep.



When I woke the bed was empty, I found them both in front of the TV. Ted
was cuddled up to Con who was watching the early news. There was a bit
where he appeared on screen at the airport but it was turned down low so I
couldn't hear it. I kissed my man's head and went to put the coffee on and
as I turned to get the cups out of the dishwasher a gorgeous rock star
grabbed my waist and pulled me in for a full on pash. We stood glued
together until the kettle boiled, his head slumped onto my shoulder; it's
the jet lag.



"Never again, that's it, I missed you both so much, maybe later on when Ted
is older but for now, just music. I was asked to write for a few shows, so
maybe that's an option. He moaned so I told him to go back to bed but he
didn't do that, instead, he just dozed on the couch so I had to be super
quiet.



"Come on Ted, hurry up you've got play day at Bubbies."

"In a minute, dad you are gonna be home when I get back aren't you?" He was
torn between going to Bubs and staying with Con.

"Yes son, of course I will be. You go and have fun with your best buds,
I'll wait here. Oh by the way I bought them something." He rummaged through
a stack of bags and pulled out a big plastic bag that had Mickey Mouse
ears, lollies and toys in it.

"Give this to the boys Ted, it's not much but you know how I hate
shopping." He then pulled out a bigger bag and then an even bigger one.

"This, this and this one, for the three of you, I will find Sam and Andy's
later." They kissed and Ted struggled out to the car with his gifts but he
wouldn't let me help, he's a big fella now.



When I got back Con was face down on the bed naked, he needs a haircut but
in the meantime he needs my wet tongue and slicked up cock so I obliged him
thoroughly.



"Your tongue has grown since I've been away."

"No it hasn't Con, your ass has got tighter."

"No, I distinctly remember you had a small one."

"Must be all that exercise it got talking on the phone."

"Must be."

"I missed you so much Brent, it was hard to move sometimes, when I sang our
songs it wasn't the same with you not there. Adam noticed they were
different too. I had to watch that. That dancer I'm engaged to got her wish
when her boyfriend came back, I didn't get an apology but the boyfriend
made a comment to the news that I had been dumped for him. Some people are
so fucked up Brent, I didn't do anything but I copped the brunt of it,
anyway I'm glad Ted still likes me."

"And me."

"You will always like me Brent and if you didn't I would make you, I would
shower you in diamonds and precious gems until you liked me."

"I would rather have Kit Kats and Mars bars Con." I giggled.

"Okay, can we go again?"

"Yep." I turned over and my legs were on his shoulders in no time, he
royally fucked me and wanted to keep going but his load had other ideas.


Maxieplus