Challenges

Part XXVI

***Modern Day***

Justin sat at the table with Eddie and Lori talking about his adventure of a three day date.

“I think it was the most fun I have had in a long time.” Justin sighed as he looked at Lori and then Eddie. “And thank you for letting us crash here the other night.”

“No problem.” Lori giggled. “I am sure Jason didn't mind either.” She took a sip of her coffee.

“How was your trip Eddie?’ Justin turned his attention to another topic.

“It was good.” Eddie was the marketing manager for Matt’s company. He had gone to a conference that explored some of the newer technologies that were coming out. “I think I have some new ideas I will run by Matt, but in general, I think we will just keep things going the way they have been.”

Justin nodded as the front door opened and closed.

“Hey everyone.” Matt called from the entryway.

“In the kitchen Matt.” Lori called out.

“Hey Justin.” Matt said, walking in and clapping his back. “Glad you stopped by before heading back to Socorro.”

“I wanted to say bye to Lori before I left, and I was surprised to see that Eddie was back.” Justin nodded to Eddie.

“Hey beautiful.” Matt leaned over and gave Lori a kiss and then moved over to Eddie. “Hey handsome.” and gave him a kiss as well.

“Have you guys told Chris yet?” Justin asked absently playing with a frill on the table cloth.

“No.” Lori responded. “We are going to wait till he is older.”

“He is used to Eddie staying here,” Matt interjected, “But we want to make sure he knows it's not something that you should spread around to others.”

“And by others,” Justin mused, “you mean mom.”

“I still think you should tell her Matt.” Lori interjected pushing her coffee cup to the side. “It may take some heat off poor Justin here.”

“Or,” Justin retorted, “It may cause me more problems. She is still under the impression that I turned Nate and Cody. Imagine if I brought the curse down on my brother.”

“One day.” Matt said simply. “But that is for another day.”

Lori got up and grabbed some plates with turkey sandwiches and chips laid out on them already and placed one in front of each of the guys and then grabbed her own plate.

“So Justin,” Lori said, picking at her chips, “What are the plans for the rest of your visit?”

“I am not sure.” Justin laughed, “I have done more than I intended to do to begin with.” He tossed a chip in his mouth. “I was just going to stay at dad's house and read and do absolutely nothing.”

“Well,” Matt grinned, “You broke up a wedding, got in a fight with your brother, met a guy and spent three days with him, and now you're sitting here eating sandwiches with that same brother.”

“A fight?” Eddie coughed on his sandwich he was chewing on. “Again?”

“It was just a romp in the dirt really.” Justin blushed. “I was being stubborn, and Matt had to make me see the light.” He rubbed his eye, “Or at least make me feel the light.”

“It’s not like we fight all the time.” Matt blushed.

“True.” Lori said thinking. She still hadn’t touched her food.

“Are you okay?” Eddie asked Lori.

“Yea.” She looked at her food. “I am just not that hungry. I thought I was, but now…” She pushed the plate aside. “I was the same way with the other pregnancies.”

They sat and ate in silence. Matt kept glancing at Lori, concern spread across  his face. Of course Justin knew that the other pregnancies miscarried, and they started the same way. Lori lost her appetite, and things went down from there.

After the first miscarriage, Justin was sure that Lori and Matt would split. There was so much hurt and anger. But ironically it was Eddie who was able to help keep them together. Matt and Justin never talked about it, but somehow, him being part of this family saved it. After that event, Justin saw Eddie as a true brother and family member.

“I have an idea.” Eddie said. “How about we go get some ice cream?” He grabbed Matt’s hand.

“Sure.” Matt smiled. “What flavor do you want?”

“Butter pecan..” She responded with a smile.

“Anything particular kind for you?” Matt asked Justin.

“Butter pecan works for me too.” Justin smiled as Matt and Eddie walked out the front door holding hands.

“Those two.” Lori said with a chuckle. “Let’s go sit in the living room. It’s more comfortable than these chairs.”

They made their way into the living room, and took seats in the recliners that faced the big coach, and looked out onto the patio. They sat in silence for a while, watching the birds play in the water pond that Matt had installed.

“Lori,” Justin asked, almost with a whisper, “can I ask a personal question?”

“Sure.” She smiled at him.

“When I got into that first fight with Matt after you got married he told me something about Eddie…” Justin started, but Lori cut him off.

“The eyes?” Lori asked, chuckling a bit.

“Yea.” Justin wasn’t surprised as he probably told Lori about this as well.

“So,” Justin felt his mouth go dry. It wasn’t right to ask her this question, but he had to know. “What do you see when you look at Eddie?”

“I am surprised you haven't asked me this sooner.” She laughed. “When Matt told me he saw me in Eddie I thought he was crazy. Then when I met him on our wedding day, I knew exactly what Matt was saying.” She smiled thinking back to their wedding day. “When I looked into his eyes I was trying to see what Matt saw. I could see myself in a way, like seeing a reflection in a pool covered by fog.”

“Is that why you are okay with this?” Justin bit his tongue as he said it. “Sorry, that sounded harsher than it should have been.”

Lori laughed again. “I am okay with it because I can see why Matt has feelings for Eddie. I decided then that if Eddie made Matt happy, then he needed Eddie in his life.” She looked back outside again, “And to be honest, I need Eddie in my life as well.”

***13 years ago***

It was the first day back from winter break and everyone was gathered around before school started. Everyone had a solemn look on their face. Their time in high school was drawing to a close.

“Can you believe this is our last semester?” Nate asked, looking at everyone gathered around. “We are almost out of here.”

“It has gone by fast.” Kimberly said.

They sat silently, no one wanting to admit that it was the end. Sure they had four months of school to go, but that would go by quickly, and then they would each be going off to their respective schools.

“How is Cody doing?” Neil asked, trying to get them out of their depression. “I didn’t get to see him over the break.”

“He is doing really well.” Grayson smiled. “He has been able to get back to working out, and he is enjoying college.” Grayson got a bigger grin on his face. “His family went on a cruise over the holiday so I got to stay with him the entire time.”

“You bad boy.” Kimberly gave a sly grin.

“I behaved!” Grayson blushed. “Mostly.”

They all laughed. Justin was sad he missed the opportunity to see Cody but he was happy Grayson was able to spend quality time with him.

“So how is Matt’s relationships going?” Scott passively asked.

“He is good. Him and Lori are doing really well, enjoying married life.” Justin smiled. He had heard the ‘s’ on the end, but was hoping it was a misstatement.

“What about Eddie? How is he doing with Eddie?” Scott pushed the issue.

“W...What do you mean?” Justin stammered out.

“You know what I mean.” Scott said, getting flustered.

“I told you.” Nate said, taking a drink of his coke. “It is obvious to anyone that sees those two.”

Justin looked around the table and everyone nodded their head in affirmation.

“Jesus.” Justin could feel a cold sweat coming on. “They are good too. I don’t get it fully, but they are all happy, so I am happy.”

Nate reached around Justin’s shoulders and gave him a squeeze. He knew how hard this had been on Justin and wanted to be as big of a comfort as he could.

“Good.” Lily squinted at Justin. “I am glad they are all happy.”

***

As the bell rang to let everyone out of class, Justin was slow to get out of his chair. He had been running everything through his head about Matt, and his friends, and how they seemed to be okay with it. Why was it so hard for him to accept any of this? Would it have been better if Matt had just come out as gay, left Lori and went with Eddie?

He pulled his bag up to his shoulder and walked out the classroom, almost running into Lily.

“Sorry.” Justin said, stepping back, “I wasn’t paying attention.”

“It's okay.” Lily said in her normal smooth voice. “I was actually coming to talk to you.”

“Oh?” Justin raised an eyebrow at her. She had a way of making him see things in ways that he never thought possible, or give him the world's biggest headache. “Can we talk and walk?” He pointed down the hallway.

“Sure.” She moved her hand indicating she would follow Justin’s lead. “Having a hard time with Matt?”

“That obvious?” Justin gurumbled.

“When someone says ‘if they are happy, I’m happy’ that usually means they are not happy.” Lily responded sharply.

“Okay.” Justin said not sure where the conversation was going.

“Remember how I told you that people mourn the dream more than the person?”

“Yea.” Justin looked skeptical at her.

She reached out and grabbed Justin’s arm stopping him. “Stop mourning the dream of what Matt was to be, and start celebrating the person he is.”

Justin slumped his shoulders. “I don’t know how.”

“What has changed?” Kimberly let go of his arm, but didn’t start walking again.

“Well, Eddie is now in his life, and he is having a relationship with him.” Justin shrugged.

“What has stayed the same?”

Justin though. “He still is with Lori, he married her, and he loves her deeply.”

“So another person was added to the equation. Shouldn’t we all be so lucky to know two great loves in our lives?” Lily’s response was short.

“But, how can he love two people so deeply?” Justin slumped against the wall.

“Love is not an equation that has to be balanced.” Lily grabbed Justin’s hand. “Love is an all or nothing endeavor. Either Matt loves Eddie and Lilly totally, or he doesn't love them at all. He doesn't have to divide his love between two people. He has more than enough for two people.”

Justin thought for a moment. “I guess.”

“Think of it this way.” Lily squeezed Justin’s hand. “Matt didn’t just get to love one person deeply, and show his great ability to love. He got to love two people deeply, and show how great he can care for two.” She dropped his hand. “And you get the opportunity to show how much you love your brother.”

She walked off leaving Justin leaning against the lockers.

***

Authors note:

Thanks again for readings. If you have comments or wish to be included in the mailing list, let me know at sockingsaw@gmail.com.

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Matt