Date: Wed, 28 Jun 2006 07:35:53 +1000 From: Iain Robertson Subject: Changes - chapter 20 Copyright for this story belongs to and remains with the author. I don't have any major objection to my work being re-distributed, but ASK FIRST!!! This is a gay adult story with the consequent language and images. If homosexuality and/or sexually explicit themes offend you then do not continue. If these are illegal in your area, then you have my sympathy, but you proceed at your own risk. This is a work of fiction, and as such the characters are not bound by the usual dictates of modern society. Unsafe sexual practices can be undertaken with impunity only in the world of fantasy. In reality, it is your obligation and your right to play safely, sanely and healthily. I hope you enjoy my work, and if you have any comments, or ideas that may inspire new work, please feel free to contact me ^Ö all emails will be answered to the best of my ability. Iainlthr@hotmail.com. Changes Chapter 20 "What's this book?" Toby asked, pulling the photo album from its resting place on the shelf. "Toby? How many times do I have to tell you? Ask before you take things," Nick remonstrated in an annoyed tone. "Yes, Dad," the eight year old replied, sounding chastised, but still holding the folder in his hand. "That's not a book, it's a collection of photos," Michael answered. "If you're a good boy, we'll have a look through it after dinner." Toby thought about that seriously. "Can David look at it too?" he asked. "If you're both good, you can both look, okay?" Michael reasoned. "Yep. I'll make sure he is!" Michael grinned as Toby raced off to find his brother, no doubt to give him a stern lecture on the need for both of them to behave themselves this evening. "Are you sure you'll be okay with them?" Nick asked. Michael shook his head, and laughed. "How many times have we sat them for you before?" he asked. "Don't you trust us?" Nick looked exasperated. "Of course I do! I just meant that I'm sorry to drop them on you without notice, especially when you're by yourself. We weren't anticipating Tina going into labour two weeks early, and I didn't have any other options ^Å" "Nick, it's fine! Ian will be home in just over an hour anyway. Besides, this gives me a chance to have my favourite nephews all to myself for a change. Now you get yourself over to the Hospital. Give Tina our love, and make sure you let us know the moment anything happens!" "Thanks, Michael, I really appreciate it," he said, looking lost. He found his sons in the kitchen, Toby giving detailed instructions to his younger brother in a serious voice about how they needed to behave. "I'm going to see Mummy, now," he said. "Promise you'll be good for Uncle Michael and Uncle Ian?" "Yes, Dad," they chorused as he scooped them up and hugged them both tightly. Nick turned back to find Michael watching with a grin, and started explaining yet again. "Their pyjamas, and some games and things are all in the bag. I think I remembered everything despite packing in a hurry. If there's anything else you need ^Å" "Forget it! Forget about the boys, and go and be with your wife," Michael said, still smiling. Nick nodded, looking around once more before making his way out to his car. Michael followed him out to the street, chuckling as he waved good-bye, then let himself back into the house to see what the kids were up to. "David? Toby?" he called out, to be greeted by a pair of enquiring faces poking around the corner of the living room. "What do you think you would like for dinner?" "Macca's!" declared Toby. "Yeah, Macca's," echoed his five year old brother. Michael raised an eyebrow at them both, looking stern. "Macca's ^Å what?" "Please, Unca Mike," David responded after a moment's thought. "Umm, I guess maybe just this once," Michael said, pretending to give in unwillingly. "But you'll have to be extra good, and you'll have to wait until Uncle Ian gets home!" "Yay!" declared the pair in unison as they went in search of the toys they knew were kept here just for them in the guest room upstairs. ******* When Ian arrived home, he was expecting to relax over dinner, before a long evening of sexual congress with his lover. He knew Michael wasn't rostered on to work until late the following day, and he had been looking forward to being with him all afternoon. As he opened the front door however, he was greeted by the sight of two very eager and enthusiastic young boys, jumping up and down, and trying to outdo each other in being the loudest to say `hello'. Michael stood behind them, hands on hips and smile on face. "Your nephews want to get hamburgers for dinner!" the cop stated. "Macca's!" came a renewed chorus from the two excited kids. As Ian tried to calm the boys down, frisking their hair and returning their hugs, he looked up at his lover. "How do we come to have visitors?" he asked. "And why is it that they're my nephews only when they are making lots of noise?" "Well, my nephews have been sitting quietly, doing as they're told, and waiting for you!" Michael declared with a grin. Becoming more serious, he added, "Tina has gone into labour early. Everything seems to be okay, but Nick dropped the boys off here so he could go to the hospital to be with her." "Already?" Ian asked in surprise. "I thought she wasn't due for a while yet." "Yeah, it started early. Nick rang about ten minutes ago to say everything is fine, but it looks like she'll be giving birth sometime tonight. The doctors aren't worried at all, although Nick doesn't sound so good!" Ian smiled. "Nick wasn't too good when either of the boys were born, remember?" "Oh yeah, I remember!" Michael grinned. When the eldest, Toby, was born, Ian and Michael had been in the delivery room with Nick and Tina. Tina had insisted on it. But Nick had almost fainted at the crucial moment, and Michael had ended up holding Tina's hand while Ian nursed his mate through the birth. "Macca's?!" came a renewed plea from the two boys who had grown impatient at this `grown-up' talk. "Okay," Ian succumbed. "But we'll get take-away, and come back home to eat it!" That was an acceptable proposition for the kids, and a short time later, all four were dining on burgers and chips on the back deck, surrounded by paper bags and plastic drink cups. With the meal over, Ian began to clear away the debris. "Toby, David? What would you like to do now? Watch a movie?" he asked. "Uncle Michael's got a `photo-book' he promised to show us," Toby declared, looking pointedly at Michael. "Yeah, photo-book!" David echoed. Ian raised his eyebrows at Michael. "They found one of the albums. I said I'd look through it with them if they were good," Michael explained. "And have you been good?" his question was answered by two very vigorously nodding heads, making him smile. "Okay then, if Uncle Michael said he'd show it to you, then you'd better go and sit with him." Ian continued clearing up as the boys raced each other to find seats on either side of Michael on the sofa, as the cop sat himself down with the photo album on his lap. They looked so right, so comfortable that the lawyer couldn't help but feel a swelling pride in his nephews and his lover as he stared fondly at the little group. *** Michael sat himself down, squeezed in between the two boys, and opened the album, flipping through a few pages until he found a photo of a chubby baby nestled in Tina's arms. "Look," he said to the boys, pointing at the picture. "That's my mum!" Toby declared. "Who's the baby she's holding?" "You," Michael grinned. "You were only a few hours old then. See how much you've grown." He smiled as he remembered the day ^Ö Nick had phoned them excitedly to announce he was a father, and Michael and Ian had raced to the hospital to see Toby for the first time. But the boys weren't impressed. David turned another page and stabbed his finger down at an image of Ian and Michael hugging each other, dressed only in speedos and standing on a beautiful sandy beach. "Unc Ian," he stated. David looked at the photo as well and announced knowingly. "That's you, Uncle Mike, and Uncle Ian." "Yep, sure is," Michael agreed. "Where are you?" Michael felt his face flush at the memories that flooded his mind. He and Ian had taken their first holiday together at a remote resort in Tonga, revelling in the tropical heat, and making love several times on that beach. "Uncle Ian and I were visiting that spot," he explained. "It's a long way away, in another country." "Is this in another country too?" Toby asked, indicating a photo of a house with a large `For Sale' sign in front, the word `SOLD' plastered across it, with Michael and Ian grinning at the camera and flanking the sign. "No," Michael explained. "That's where Uncle Ian used to live. He sold that house, and we bought this one, before either of you were born." "Oh," answered Toby disinterestedly. David impatiently turned the pages of the album looking for more exciting pictures and pointing them out to his brother, but Michael's thoughts were not on the boys or the images. He remembered the time when that last photograph had been taken ^Å ^Å Michael Sciutta woke with a start, and glanced quickly at the side table beside his bed to see what the time was, only the alarm clock that usually sat there was missing. In fact, the whole side table was missing. He sat up quickly, concern jabbing into the fog of his still sleepy brain before he realised that this wasn't an ordinary day. He shook the drowsiness from his head and examined his bedroom more closely. The open clothes rack he called a wardrobe bare except for a favourite pair of jeans and a single shirt. The cop stood tiredly and wandered naked from the room, not seeing the rest of his flat as he stumbled into the bathroom and automatically turned the taps for the hot water. By the time he had relieved his bladder the flow from the shower head was almost warm, and he quickly washed himself down before wrapping a towel around his waist for the return journey to his bedroom. Dressed in casual `civvies' ^Ö there was no work for him today ^Ö he busied himself with stripping the bed and folding the linen haphazardly before stuffing it into the still opened cardboard box that sat just outside the bedroom door. He took one last look at the room, empty but for the bare bed and clothes-stand, then pulled the door closed. In his living room the final box joined its colleagues; eight in all, stacked evenly in the centre of the room. Funny, but now that the place was all but empty it didn't look quite so small. Michael did a final check on the cupboards in the kitchenette, making sure they were cleared and clean, and leaned heavily against the doorframe. He looked slowly around the room, and at the boxes in the centre. He wasn't sad to be leaving this place, but a little depressed that after all this time his entire worldly possessions could be easily shipped off in eight cardboard boxes. His eyes open but unseeing, Michael thought back to when he hadn't even noticed just how small the apartment was, or how empty his life was. He had been contented, back then, with just doing his job. The flat wasn't a home, it was just a place to sleep, but he didn't think he needed a home, or anything else for that matter. His job was everything; his entire life. And then he met Ian Sterling ^Å The hard working detective smiled at that memory, recalling his first impressions of the lawyer. Michael had thought Ian was involved in the drug ring operated by Geoff Carruthers ^Ö one of the men he was investigating. After all, Sterling was sleeping with Carruthers, and Michael had found him alone in Carruthers' home the day he had gone to arrest the man. The detective had assumed Sterling's bluff protestations of innocence were just a cover, and had Ian pegged as an arrogant, wealthy lawyer with no morals and too much time to party. But what annoyed him even more was that in spite of Sterling lacking anything Michael saw as valuable, he had still found him strangely attractive, had been drawn to him from the very beginning. Then, by chance, Michael had discovered that Ian was not the person he had thought. Only recently `out of the closet', and inexperienced in love, Ian had been badly hurt by his relationship with Carruthers. Michael had wanted then to hurt Geoff Carruthers., to make him pay for what he had done to Ian Sterling. But there was so much more to come. When Carruthers was murdered, and Ian almost killed, Michael had fought against an overwhelming desire to protect the young solicitor. He remembered standing by Ian's bed in hospital that first night, feeling helpless and angry, unable to do anything, or even to tell Ian how he felt. As the investigation and subsequent Court case went through, Michael had watched Ian change, felt for him as the lawyer fought his own demons, and smiled proudly when he used the money from Carruthers' estate to open a foundation for homeless gay youth. Through all of that, Michael had felt protective of Ian, but completely unable to voice his true feelings, fighting them even to himself. Several times, the handsome young man had seemed to make it obvious that he was not interested in Michael in any way except for the gratitude Ian felt at Michael having done his job properly. Michael was certain that Ian Sterling would not want to have any kind of personal relationship with a boring police officer, married to his work and far beneath the status Ian enjoyed. The day that everything changed was one Michael would never forget. A fancy meal in one of the city's best restaurants had led the two of them into a meaningful conversation, and revelations on both sides. Ian had confided that he found himself attracted to Michael, and apologised! Unbelievably, he had not known Michael was gay, and had thought he would `scare him off' if he tried to become too close to the cop. Michael, in turn, had stuttered incredulously about how he had not been brave enough to ask Ian for a date because he wasn't good enough for him. After the recriminations with each other were over, that's exactly what Michael had done ^Ö asked Ian for a date. Languishing there in his almost empty apartment, Michael smiled at the memory. Ian's face had blushed deep red in front of his friends, and before he could say anything, Tina had accepted on his behalf. Michael had come to know Ian's best friends, Tina and her husband Nick, in the following weeks, and his admiration and respect for them grew quickly, in line with his affection for them. They were always there if needed, offering support for Ian, and Michael for that matter, when things had become strained as they often do in a new and developing relationship. Because that is what he had had with Ian Sterling after that fateful day. A relationship! He and Ian had begun dating then; meeting for drinks and meals, getting together regularly, they enjoyed each other's company immensely, each finding he could laugh or cry, be playful or serious with the other without fear of rejection or ridicule. Both men had gone through a lot together before they started their relationship, so they had so much to share and to explore all over again. It hadn't been all plain sailing however. They had had their fights, too. Ian was always reluctant to commit too much, and Michael was sure it was because of the hurt he had suffered at the hands of Geoff Carruthers, but whenever he voiced that opinion Ian would clam up and refuse to discuss it. Michael grimaced when he thought also about his own hang-ups. He had a hard time getting past the belief that he wasn't good enough for Ian, despite the other's constant reassurances. He often felt out of his depth with Ian's work colleagues, and more than a little embarrassed whenever he compared the tiny shoe-box he called a home with the spotless and well appointed house where Ian lived. They had argued about those and other things more than once, and it was only the Herculean efforts of Nick and Tina that had managed to keep them from refusing to see each other several times. And now it had come to this ^Å Michael opened his eyes again, taking one long, last look at the place he had called his own for too many years. Time to move on! The buzzer from the front door sounded loudly, making him jump a little. "That'll be the removalists," he said to the empty room. With a sigh, he hit the button to open the door, and readied himself to walk out on his old life forever. **************************** Ian was wide awake long before his reminder call came through. He'd been unable to sleep with the combination of excitement and anxiety, so when the pleasant woman on the other end of the line informed him that it was now 7.30 am, he thanked her perfunctorily, and hung up quickly. Showering and dressing quickly, he decided he couldn't face breakfast this morning, and called a cab to collect him as soon as possible. `I wonder how Michael's feeling?' he thought to himself, not for the first time today. In fact, Ian found that his thoughts were often with Michael Sciutta. The strong, handsome policeman had certainly had an effect on Ian Sterling's life over the last six months or more, and today, more than ever, Ian was determined to let Michael know just how important he was to him. The taxi pulled up outside Michael's building, and Ian looked up to where he knew Michael's flat was. Michael always complained about how he was embarrassed to have Ian come to the tiny apartment, and Ian often became infuriated with the cop, insisting that it was Michael he wanted, not the place he lived in. As he stepped up to the front door and pressed the buzzer for Michael's flat, Ian was suddenly seized with a fit of nerves. Was this the right thing to do? Would Michael think he was smothering him? Would Ian be able to overcome his fears of being hurt with this wonderful man? Pushing those thoughts away, Ian told himself it was too late to worry about that now. What was done was done, and the two of them had to face the future together! He leaned on the buzzer, and as usual, Michael didn't bother to ask who it was, but simply hit the release. Ian heard the click, pushed open the door, and climbed quickly up the steps to Michael's flat. At the top of the stairs, Ian found Michael's door ajar, and he nervously pushed it open, spying Michael looking dejectedly at the nearly empty room. "Hi, `big boy'," he said softly. "Ian?" Michael answered with surprise. "What are you doing here? I thought ^Å" "I know what you thought, but I have other plans," Ian said simply. "So that's it?" he asked, gesturing towards the boxes in the middle of the room. "Uh huh. Not much to show, is there? Who would have thought that was the sum total of my worldly possessions?" Michael looked once more at the boxes, then back to Ian. "I feel like I'm running away," he muttered awkwardly. Ian grinned. "Oh no, you're running TO something ^Ö to me, to us, to a new life together! I know you thought you'd just meet me there, but I couldn't go to our new home alone. That's why I'm here. I've arranged for the Real Estate Agent to meet us at the house, to hand us the keys together," he said as his eyes searched his lover's face. Michael's mood changed then. His depression lifted and he smiled back. "I love you," he whispered. "I love you, too," Ian replied, moving closer. They met in an embrace, arms encircling each other as they kissed with a longing, and a need which was not entirely sexual, although there was certainly that in it as well. The doorbell sounded again, making them both jump. "This time it will be the removalists!" Michael declared. "You'd better `calm down', or that bulge in your jeans is going to earn you some funny looks." "You're not doing too badly in the bulge department yourself," Ian laughed. "Besides, I think they would be surprised if I were here all alone with a hot man like you, and didn't have a bulge in my jeans!" Michael shook his head in pretend shock, but smiled to himself, willing his erection to subside with only partial success as the men arrived to bundle up his belongings and carry them away. *** "Here you are, gentlemen!" announced the Realtor with a flourish as she handed over the keys. "Congratulations, and best of luck." She smiled knowingly as she walked away. Michael looked at the set of keys on his hands, then up into Ian's eyes. His partner grinned widely, and leaned forward to plant a huge kiss right on his lips. Embarrassed, Michael looked around. "Ian! Out here on the street?" "This is our home!" Ian protested. "If the neighbours haven't worked out we're a couple yet, they soon will. I won't hide what I am from anyone, especially in our own home!" he stated emphatically. "Now ^Ö are you gonna carry me across the threshold, or do I carry you?" Michael laughed again. "Forget that rubbish. Let's just go in together." And they did. Together, they opened the door, and surveyed the empty space of their new home. "Your things should be here first, and mine soon after," Ian said. "Well, it won't take long to get mine inside," Michael said wryly. "Stop that! I don't care whether you have a truckload or a backpack ^Ö it's you that I love, not your furniture." "I know, but ^Å" Ian sighed. "Michael, this is our place. That's why we agreed to buy it. Not yours. Not mine. Ours. And everything that is in it, or will be in it, is ours as well. Forget the past. We have too much future to look forward to." Michael began to say something else, but was interrupted by the arrival of the van with his possessions. And just as the last box was carried inside, another truck arrived, full of Ian's furniture. They were kept busy supervising the placement of things, and Ian made sure that Michael had an equal say in where everything went, even when the cop stated that he didn't care. Ian wasn't letting Michael off that easily ^Ö insisting that he had to share responsibility for the details. Secretly, Michael was pleased more than he admitted even to himself, that Ian forced him to be a part of such silly minutae. He really did feel as if this place was his. No, he corrected himself again ^Ö theirs! This whole new world of sharing was going to take some getting used to, but he thought he would enjoy the learning. ***** By that evening, the house was taking shape. Furniture was placed in all of the rooms, approximately where they thought they wanted it. Some of their clothes were hanging in wardrobes, although there were still boxes to be unpacked, and basics such as coffee were in the kitchen. The smaller things ^Ö ornaments and mementoes, were awaiting attention, but the two men sat tiredly on a lounge, recovering from the hard work of the day. A sudden knock at the door roused them from their silence. Neither moved for a few moments, and the knock was repeated. Ian looked at his man. "Well, are you going to get that?" he asked. "Oh, I ^Å uh" Michael stuttered. He shook himself alive, realising that he was still subconsciously thinking of this place as Ian's rather than belonging to them both. He rose to his feet and went to the door. "About time!" greeted him as Tina stood on the step looking irritated. "We figured you would want the place to yourself to begin with, which is why we weren't here to help," she smiled. "But I'm sure neither of you have given any thought to food, so here I am. May we come in?" Michael shook his head in confusion, but smiled warmly at her. "Of course, come in," he answered, stepping back to make way. "Sorry, mate!" Nick said as he followed his wife inside, carrying several large bags wafting the scent of food. "But once she's decided something, there's no arguing." Michael gave him a conspiratorial grin. "I think I may have the same problem," he whispered, causing Nick to chuckle before quickly trying to hide his mirth. "^Å and I knew you wouldn't have time to eat, so I've brought take-away," Tina was announcing to Ian as Nick and Michael joined them in the living room. "Thanks, Tina, you're right; we didn't think about that," Ian acknowledged, winking at Michael. They had only minutes before decided that home delivered Chinese would be their meal for the night. The four friends sat and chatted whilst they ate, discussing plans; hypothetically re-arranging furniture; and just enjoying the glow of something accomplished. It was a relaxed, simple meal without formality, a sharing of themselves at the beginning of a new experience for Ian and Michael. As the evening grew late, Nick cleared his throat and sat up a little straighter on his seat. "Guys, I just want to say that I hope you don't mind us barging in on you like this." He looked from Ian to Michael and back again, trying to give his attention to both. "Tina and I are really proud and honoured to have shared your first meal in your new home. Just as we are proud and honoured to be able to call you our friends. Ian, you and I have a long history, and I know for a while we were drifting apart, but I feel like we're closer now than we ever were. Michael, I know we've only been friends for a shorter time, but I feel just as close to you as to Ian, and I wish both of you all the luck in the world from now on. I love you guys!" Ian reached for Michael's hand, squeezing hard as he nodded a `thank you' to his old mate. Michael held tightly to his lover as he answered in a near whisper. "Ian is incredibly lucky to have such wonderful friends as you two," he said. "And I am even luckier, because I can call you my friends as well, and I have him for my partner." Tina had watched Nick with approving surprise as he made his little speech, and fought a tickle in her throat at Michael's reply. "Who would have guessed that it would take two gay men to bring out the very best in my husband?" she said lightly but with warmth. Ian and Michael smiled while Nick began to protest, but she motioned him to silence with a smile of love. Looking down at a spot on the floor midway between them, she took a deep breath before going on. "I didn't intend to make a speech or anything tonight, but seeing you two here ^Ö together ^Ö I just want to say how happy I am for you both." She smiled, but without raising her eyes, went on. "Now for a bit of `motherly' advice: don't think life is always going to be a bed of roses. You'll have arguments and fights, just like everyone else in the world. But remember that the man you've found, the man who has fallen in love with you, is best thing that could ever have happened to you. When you fight with him, make sure you make up again, and soon. Keep hold of the big picture, and know that together you can overcome any problems. And if you ever hurt him, I will make your life unbearable hell!" At her final comment, Michael reddened with anger. "What makes you think I would do ^Å" he began. Tina finally lifted her eyes from the floor. Completely serious, she looked first at Ian, then at Michael. "And that goes for you too, Michael!" The detective sat in stunned silence for a second as realisation sank in. He looked to Ian for support, and found his lover smiling at him. And then he laughed. They all did^Å After Nick and Tina had gone, Ian and Michael lay side by side in their brand new, king size bed. "Tired?" Ian asked. "Yep," Michael confirmed. "But happy. You really are lucky to have such good friends as Nick and Tina," he mused. "No," Ian replied. "WE are really lucky to have such good friends!" he rolled up onto one elbow, so he could look closely into his policeman's face. "I love you!" "I love you!" Michael answered, pulling Ian down onto him, and kissing him firmly. "Hey," Ian called out in mock protest. "I thought you were tired!" "Never too tired for you, stud!" his man replied, once again raining kisses onto Ian's face, and neck, and chest. Ian didn't need much encouragement to return the attention, and soon the pair were embracing, Michael atop the young lawyer, their growing erections pressed between heated bodies as their arousal filled them with renewed vigour. Michael rolled over onto his back, pulling Ian with him, and wrapping his legs about Ian's torso. "Make love to me," he whispered. Ian's reply was to cover Michael's mouth with his own, as he lifted onto his knees to give himself more access to his lover. Slowly he pressed forward, his manhood so hard it hurt. Michael's body opened to him, welcoming him in, and with a shared gasp they were joined, Ian buried deep inside Michael's bowel. For a long moment they remained still, each adjusting to the wash of incredible sensations rolling over him. Michael tingled with the pleasure of being filled by Ian, the initial pain of penetration disappearing so quickly he had already forgotten it was there at all, replaced by an overwhelming joy. With a low moan, Michael clenched himself around Ian, then relaxed again. Taking his cue, Ian began to move, slowly at first and then with a growing tempo as they coupled in mutual fervour. Whether their union lasted a minute or an hour neither could say, but all too soon the sweating, heaving mass of their intertwined bodies began to spasm in uncontrolled orgasm as they reached climax simultaneously. They raced each other to the sky, panting and twitching with release, before slowly floating back to earth, still locked together, still one. It was much later when Ian began to move again, reluctantly withdrawing himself from Michael's sated frame. Michael let him pull out disappointedly. He had never felt so complete, so fulfilled as he did with Ian deep inside. Once more lying side by side, they held each other wordlessly, fingers tracing slow arcs across cooling flesh in the glow of post-coital recovery. "Welcome home, my darling," Ian said softly, kissing Michael yet again. "Welcome home, lover," Michael repeated, holding his man tightly. "Ian, I can't thank you enough for changing my life the way you have," he whispered. "That's what we both needed," Ian replied. "^Å changes!" As Ian turned about, his back to Michael, Michael spooned his body into the young lawyer, feeling the warm skin against his chest, his arms and legs. Even after Ian's breathing told him the other was asleep, Michael lay there happily, holding his man, in their bed. Tears began to flow down his cheeks, as it finally became clear to him that they were both `Home'. The End This story is a fantasy, it is not real and only happened in my imagination. YOU MUST REMEMBER that in the real world, you can DIE from having unsafe sex. It is your right and your duty to make sure that condoms are always used, whether you are giving or receiving. It doesn't matter how good looking or how ugly he is, and it doesn't matter whether you are top or bottom, USE A CONDOM!