Chasing Rusty Parker – Ch. 49
By Laura S. Fox
Copyright © 2023 Laura S. Fox
All Rights Reserved
Gay Erotica
Intended for Mature Audiences Only
This story will contain graphic depictions of sexual intercourse, strong
language and it is not meant for readers who are less than 18 years of age.
Consider making a donation to Nifty by clicking the little blue button
on the front page, as they help us all enjoy so many great stories, while
aiding authors like me to display their work.
~
Chasing Rusty Parker is the sequel to my story Good Guys Don't Date Bad
Boys that you can also find here, on Nifty.
Chapter Forty-Nine – Thank
You For The Heartache
"Rusty."
Someone was calling his
name. It was incredibly annoying. He turned on his other side, but a punch in
the shoulder convinced him that he wouldn't get away even if he growled and
pretended to be ready to bite.
"What?"
"It's almost noon. Get
up. And don't get all depressed on me," August scolded him.
He ran one hand over his
face. He needed a shave. Shower. Get out of the house. And face the world.
Huzzah.
For the last three days –
if he still knew how to count – he had holed up at August's, ignoring phone
calls, texts, and even visitors at the door. Loyal to his cause, his host had
graciously sent all his friends on their way, but it looked like even her
patience had an end. Naturally.
The only problem was that
he had no idea how to continue, how to get up and out there, go on living his
life. As usual was out of the question. August had kept up with his mom's
evolution. Nothing new on that front. That phase of suspended hopes and
tragedies ate at him slowly, with the obsessive persistence of a wood-devouring
critter. It didn't matter how tough he thought himself to be; it only took
enough holes bored into him to make him paper-thin.
August sat gingerly by
his side.
"Sorry for doing this,
but you can't go on like this," she said in a gentle, yet firm voice. "I
understand pain, I've been there long enough. You need a bit of air." She
patted his knee. "Come on. Hit the shower while I fix you something to eat. And
don't say a word."
"Not even thank you?"
"Okay, I'll take that.
But I'd rather you be quiet and think properly about what to do next."
He felt tempted to ask if
Matty had dropped by, but then, he quickly recovered. There was no need to stick
pins in such a sore wound. Matty was better off. Matty was better off. He only
had to repeat that to himself as many times as possible, and it would become
reality.
Half an hour later, he
was closer to a human being than he had been over the last interminable days.
He accepted the offered lunch and ate without feeling the taste or texture of
the food. August could have served him cardboard dipped in tap water, or a
complete gourmet meal, and it would have all tasted the same to him.
Still, he was aware that
he needed the nourishment. And being depressed wasn't helping anyone. August
was right about that. Even the jacket he put on seemed strange and unfamiliar.
"Are you coming?" he
asked her.
August nodded and grabbed
her jacket.
"Unless you have
something better to do."
"Better than assisting
your baby steps as the new Rusty Parker? No. By the way, I don't approve of
whatever you think you're doing, but that's beyond the point. Let's go."
She hadn't asked him
where they were going, and he had no destination in mind. However, because of
him, she hadn't gone out a lot, either, and she probably needed a bit of air.
Just like he did, although he had no notion of such needs.
Until they stepped out in
the balmy air of the late fall afternoon. It was the kind of weather that made
him feel good even if he felt bad, as it carried the same nostalgias as he did.
"We're going to see your
friends," August announced, without giving him an option.
That meant that they
would have to walk across the campus, and, at first, Rusty had an almost
visceral impulse of self-preservation. August, however, held his elbow tightly,
with the obvious intention of not letting him run back into the house.
***
Heartache, it seemed, was
something any human being could get used to. That was what Matty thought as he
walked out of the science building. At first, he had deemed the whole thing
unbearable, but it had only been a few days – albeit it felt like a lot longer
– and the pain and emotional exhaustion had become a part of him. He would call
them old friends, only they were new.
These days had given him
the opportunity to think a lot. Maddox and Jonathan had called every day, not
to needle him with useless questions such as how he was feeling, but to maintain
a connection with him. They didn't talk about Rusty unless he asked, and they
appeared more concerned with his wellbeing. He was thankful for their
friendship.
Kane had called, too, and
offered him, in unlimited terms, his support. Dex had
been there, too, interjecting from time to time, and offering a different type
of support. He was responsible, as he seemed to feel, with the ass-kicking
department, so Zoey hadn't been far off in her assumptions that it might be a
little scary to have that mountain of a young man punish Rusty for whatever he
needed to be punished for.
Matty had accepted
everything wearily, while hoping they weren't disappointed in his replies. He
wished he had more to give, but besides gratitude, there was a vast emptiness
inside him.
He was getting used to
it. A dim hope continued to flicker inside him, even though the days seemed
bleak, despite the pleasant weather. One day, Rusty would have to talk to him,
when all the wounds were scabbed over, and then he would tell him why. His
ill-timed confession had cut short all explanations, and Matty couldn't let go
of them. Rusty would learn, no matter what he thought, why Matty loved him.
Sunshine and rainbows didn't begin to cover it.
First, he heard the
murmurs, running through the crowd of students going in and out of campus
buildings like a sudden restless wave. Then, he saw the reason for it.
Nothing should have
shocked him, but he remained frozen in place nonetheless. Rusty was walking
through the quad, but it wasn't with his confident strut, his usual posture as
the king of Sunny Hill. He held August by the shoulders and listened
attentively to something she was saying. Even from that distance, Matty could
swear he could see all of the lines in Rusty's face, all of the shadows and
planes, every inch of skin.
People walked by him,
some brushing past closely, sometimes throwing him a strange, annoyed look or a
surprised one, but he didn't move at all. And Rusty, as if he could tell he was
being watched so intently, raised his eyes and met his over the shifting crowd.
Matty didn't even dare to
blink. Rusty didn't, either. But his body moved and Matty watched as the guy he
loved turned to the woman by his side to embrace her and hold her tightly, his
eyes never leaving his.
***
He was so tense he was
afraid to make even one move. He ignored August's question – what was going on?
– and kept staring at Matty, at the way he stood there, arms by his sides,
unmoving, unquestioning, just staring back.
And then, he noticed the
smile, calm and kind that lit up the face he knew so well, the face he had held
close so many times. That was Matty the way he wanted to remember him.
Forgiving, understanding. And sad. That part was temporary. Matty would forget
and move on. If there was only one thing he wanted to shout over the quad and
all those indifferent heads and minds, it had to be this: move on.
"Hey," August said in a
concerned voice, "are you okay?"
He had to break eye
contact and turn back to reality. August stared at him, and she must have seen
something in his eyes because she turned away and then quickly back to him.
"Rusty," she said through
her teeth, "I don't like being used. Never do that again."
"Okay," he breathed out.
"Won't you go talk--"
"No. I've already granted
you one wish."
August sighed but added
nothing. He knew very well why she was doing that. She thought this was a phase
and he'd get over it. But Rusty couldn't see himself doing that; this new world
for him didn't seem to offer much, but he had made his choice.
***
He had expected it to
hurt. But he hadn't expected it to hurt so badly, like there was nothing left
for him but hurt all over. The only point he hung onto was the smile he gave
Rusty before walking away. And from that single point, a soothing sensation
spread. August had to be able to make Rusty very happy if she could help him
through such trying times. That was the truth, and it had been placed right in
front of his eyes for him to see.
Love wasn't supposed to
be egotistical, he realized. He had to wish Rusty happiness, and if that didn't
include him, that was just something he had to live with. Rusty had August.
Jonathan and Maddox both could say as often as they wanted that she was only a
friend to Rusty, but Matty had seen the truth just now, in the way Rusty had
held her, and not for the world to see. For him to see.
He rushed toward the
dorm. Supposedly, he still had classes to attend but he couldn't remember what
they were and why he had to go.
When Zoey caught him on
the stairs, he was already running.
"Matty, have you heard?"
He shook his head no but
admitted, "Yes. He's with her now." So few words, yet they held everything he
needed to know.
"I'm so pissed," Zoey
continued and grabbed his arm.
"Don't you have classes?"
he asked her.
"Don't you?" she answered
with a question. "This is too big. I want to cry so much."
She even sniffled. Matty
let out a small laugh at first but, in all honesty, he felt like crying, too.
Good thing they were close to his room now.
Zoey grabbed his hand and
held it. "You should go to him and slap him," she proposed.
"Why?" Matty asked and as
he uttered the one word it came out pained.
"Because he's such an
asshole," Zoey complained. "How could he do this to you?"
"He's happy with her.
There's nothing I can do."
"Don't you want to slap
him? Strangle him? Kill him a little?"
"Maybe. A little. But
it's no use. He's obviously made his choice, and he wanted me to see it."
"I know!" Zoey shouted
and jumped to her feet. There was just too much energy in that small body, and
it had to find an outlet somewhere. "You will have to do the same."
"Should I hug August in
the middle of the quad?"
"Don't hide behind
jokes," Zoey said and stamped her foot. "I hate her guts. I don't know what her
deal is, but she makes me so mad."
"None of this is her
fault. Rusty chose her," Matty said, trying to sound convincing and failing.
"I don't care! She's to
blame because she exists. That's enough for me," Zoey stated, waving one hand
through the air.
"Well, I'm glad she
exists because Rusty had someone to turn to when he needed it."
"Damn you, Matty." Zoey
shook her head in negation. "You're not giving up, are you?"
"I don't even know what
you mean by that. I can't stop loving him if that's what you're asking. But I
can stop trying to talk to him. Talking to him is something that might be
possible in the future, but not right now. I'm only human."
"That's good enough for
me. You need to make him jealous."
Matty rolled his eyes,
trying to make light of Zoey's suggestion.
"No, don't give me that
look," his friend continued. "It is not a matter of choice. You just have to do
it. Give me your phone. I'm going to send you on three different Grindr dates
in a jiffy."
"Gawd, Zoey, the last
thing I want right now is hook up," Matty replied and slipped his phone under
his mattress in a swift motion and then sat on the bed to ensure that his
bestie wouldn't get him in unusual trouble just because she cared so much about
him.
"There's no way you can
let him get away with this."
"This, as you call it, is
what he chose. I can't go against that."
Zoey shook her head, her
lips pursed. She paced the room and seemed to be deep in thought. Matty decided
not to interrupt her. He had no energy left anyway. What he wanted right now
was to hide under the covers and sleep until he forgot everything.
"Something's wrong," Zoey
muttered under her breath. At this point, she seemed more likely to be talking
to herself than to him. "There's no way I'm wrong about this. You can't tell me
you didn't feel it, Matty."
"Feel what?"
"That he loves you. It's
impossible for anyone to get so close to you and not love you."
"Not for him, obviously."
"Stop putting yourself
down. There has to be something." She continued pacing the floor, this time
with her hands behind her back, like a general anxious to get his strategy
right before leading the attack of his troops.
"I appreciate this, Zoey,
I do--"
His phone ringing
interrupted them. Cautiously, Matty rummaged for it under the mattress.
"Is it Rusty? Who is it?"
Zoey asked, throwing the questions at him in rapid fire.
"No, it's someone else,"
Matty said and frowned as he saw the name on the screen. "I'd better not--"
Zoey grabbed it from him
with the dexterity of a monkey. Rusty had been right to give her that nickname.
She was already in the bathroom, the door locked. He pounded on it.
"Zoey, come on, this
isn't funny."
"Who's Jamie?" Zoey
asked, while his phone kept ringing.
"No one."
"That's it, I'm answering
it."
Matty groaned and pressed
his forehead against the bathroom door while listening to Zoey's voice on the
other side.
"Why, of course, he'd be
so happy to get together with you," Zoey drawled. "Yeah, well, you see, the
moment he saw you were calling, he got so excited that he had to jump in the
shower. Yeah, without answering the phone, because that's how flustered he got.
Of course, I'll tell him. He'll be there."
Matty crossed his arms
and waited for Zoey to come out of the bathroom. As if she hadn't done the
unspeakable, she handed the phone back to him.
"You have a date," she
said brightly.
"I'm not going. Jamie's a
player."
"All for the better.
That's exactly what you need right now."
"Zoey, that guy might
want to hook up!"
"So? By the way, your
date is in two hours. Make sure to wash all that sadness off your face. Or
maybe not. Something tells me that this dude might be big time into you if you style
yourself as a tragic figure."
"He's never called me
before," Matty said. "Obviously, he wants to talk to me about Rusty, and that's
not what I want."
"Why would he want to
talk to you about Rusty?"
"Because they're
friends."
Zoey stared at him for a
moment and then snapped her fingers. "That's even better. You can ask him what
the hell got into Rusty. Grill the hell out of him."
"Zoey, it's a bad idea. I
might not survive this so-called date," Matty warned.
But she was grinning
happily. "Oh, he's so going to wreck you. And you know it. Oh, gawd, this is so
good. It's exactly what you need."
"Zoey! Really! I'm not
the kind to jump from--"
"I know." She grabbed him
by the arms and looked him in the eyes. "But if you go out there, and Rusty
hears about it, I bet he's going to eat his heart out. He's not the only one
who can pull that sort of act."
Going on a date with
Jamie was the last thing Matty needed or wanted to do. Zoey would just have to
understand that.
"It's either this or I'm staying
cooped up in here all day with you so that we can both cry our eyeballs out.
Come on, Matty, you don't have to hook up with this guy. And I know you're not
the kind to do so, and that you're stronger than this. If you still love Rusty
so much, what are you even afraid of?"
That was one valid
question. It wasn't as if he would let himself be pressured into hooking up
just out of politeness. To see himself with anyone other than Rusty was
ludicrous to begin with. So he laughed.
Zoey hugged him briefly.
"I knew you'd make the right choice."
"But I didn't say that
I'd go."
"You don't have to. I
know you will. Also, I'm going to sit here and force you to get ready for your
date. So, you see, you can't ditch Jamie. By the way, is he sexy?"
"Very."
"Perfect. Take that,
Rusty Parker," Zoey said, clenching her tiny fist.
***
"Oh, look what the cat
dragged in," Kane remarked first as soon as he set foot in the house and let
August in after him.
"That's not a very nice
name to call August," he said, making an attempt at joking. "She's more like a
cougar."
"Do you want to die?"
August threatened him. "I'm not that old. I did my part, guys. I brought him
here. Do you think you can take him off my hands for a while?"
"Yeah, not a problem.
Thank you for bringing the stray back," Kane said promptly. "Would you like a
cup of coffee?"
"No, I'm off. I have a
thousand things to take care of."
She hadn't said anything
about having things to do, but it was true that she had been around to look
after him, so she must have neglected her own life for him. He turned to her to
offer his thanks, but she waved him off with a pointed look in her eyes as she
said goodbye and walked out.
Great. Now, he would have
to endure the ordeal by himself. He looked at Kane, and his friend simply
looked back at him before walking to the foot of the stairs to yell: "Rusty's
back!"
He plopped down on the
sofa, bracing himself for the lecture that would soon start. He didn't expect a
friendly squeeze on his shoulder.
"So, how have you been?"
"Through hell, mostly,"
he admitted.
Kane was the most likely
of them all to start with the lecturing, so that was a great sign. He was about
to add something when he got attacked from behind and forced to the floor. Dex held him down and rubbed his head hard.
"Finally, home?"
"Yeah. Although I might
need the hospital now. You must have broken at least one of my ribs."
"Shut up, whiner. You're
fine."
That he was, especially
now with the warm welcome and all.
"Rusty!" Maddox exclaimed
from the top of the stairs and hurried down to pick him up off the floor.
This time, he didn't feel
like the hug was unwarranted, so he hugged his bestie back.
"Where's Johnny boy?" he
asked. "Don't tell me he's too busy studying."
"No, he's here, too. We
have a ton of things to tell you."
"Can the lecture wait for
a couple of more days?"
"We don't want to lecture
you." Maddox made them both sit on the sofa. "We're just glad you're back."
"Wow, so no lecturing?"
"No. But you've been out
of the loop, and you need to get right back in."
"Yeah, sure."
That was normal, right?
Banter and chill all around. He felt better already.
"So, what's been going on
in the realm in my absence?" he joked.
"Jonathan's going to tell
you," Maddox said and gestured with his chin at his future better-half, who was
coming down the stairs. "Connor's been going so crazy with no one to stand in
his way."
He got up to hug Jonathan
on his own, giving the others a reason to jeer and hoot.
"So, what's up with
Connor?" he asked, as soon as all the effusive hugs and welcomes were out of
the way.
"Not many good things,
obviously," Jonathan said. "He has started a crusade against the Dean of
Students."
"What for?" Rusty asked
with a frown. "After all, Preston gave him free rein to do whatever he wanted
with that crappy organization."
"Well, apparently, that's
no longer good enough for him. He wants the guy's head," Maddox explained. "I
have no idea if or what kind of pull he has with the administration, but he's
going at it like a crazy dog. He might make Preston resign, only by making the
poor man think that all the students hate him."
Rusty sensed his mind
starting to work, but then he remembered his choice and only smiled.
"So what are you guys
going to do about it?"
That appeared to make
them all stop for a moment. Then, Jonathan began to talk.
"I personally assured the
dean of our support. He might have been a laissez-faire kind of dean to us, but
I'm quite certain that we don't want him replaced with whoever Connor considers
fit for the job."
"It's not like he can do
that, anyway. Unless that pull, as you call it, is pretty strong," Rusty said.
"It's all politics and
perspective," Kane explained. "And you know how easily influenced some of the
students can be. A large number of them don't care, and that's a problem, too.
Because we can end up with the vocal minority led by Connor turning the campus
into whatever crazy vision he has for it."
"Yeah, but we're seniors.
We shouldn't care so much," Rusty argued.
Dex
stared at him as if he was growing another head. "It's all a matter of
principles, Rusty. Don't say you're okay with this shit Connor is trying to
pull. The people need a champion." He punched him playfully in the shoulder. "And
they have one. When are you going to take back what's yours? You've let Connor
do his worst for a bit, but that has to stop."
Rusty opened his arms in
a gesture of surrender. "I'm going to tell Preston in person that I'm with him.
But I'm not going to do anything else. I mean, between you and me, this whole
king of Sunny Hill thing is a bit childish."
"What about Rybalt?"
Jonathan asked.
Rusty shrugged. "He's as
good as dead and buried. Unless someone else feels like donning a cape and trying
his hand at singing--"
"Are you giving up on
being Rybalt?" Maddox interrupted.
"I know you must all feel
sort of disappointed, but I got a wakeup call, Maddie." He said the nickname
not as playful mockery, but as the endearment it truly was. "I no longer have
time for fooling around."
"So, are you going to
study now?" Kane asked.
They were all looking at him
intently.
"The least I can do is
finish college properly. Don't expect me to surpass our dear Jonathan here, but
I'm going to pull my own weight."
"What about singing?" Dex asked. "You're going to take it up seriously after
college, right?"
He shook his head and
didn't dare look at anyone in particular. "No. It was all really silly if we
think about it, right? I mean, all this cloak and dagger stuff. Life is not a
play."
"Damn," Dex said and stared at him with surprise. "When did you
decide to grow up?"
"When mom took a tumble
because of me," he replied. "A little tumble that put her in a coma. Is that enough
of an answer for you, Dexter?"
Dex
looked away. They all seemed stunned by the revelations of this new person that
looked like their friend and moved like their friend, but no longer spoke like
him.
"Look, guys," he said,
"it's not like these things didn't have to come to an end eventually. We've
fooled around long enough. Real life is waiting for us. And of us all, I've
fooled around the most. It was going to happen anyway."
Dex
shook his head as if he couldn't understand a thing he was saying. Kane sighed
and crossed his arms in reproach. But Maddox held his shoulder and didn't seem
to judge him.
"Well, if any of you has
anything else to say, please don't hold back." He stared, in turn, at each of
his friends. "You, Jonathan?" he asked, eventually, since the frown on that
aristocratic face seemed to say that there was something to share and it was
important.
Jonathan smiled and began
walking away. "I have a phone call to make. And we all have to study, anyway.
Welcome back, Rusty."
Yes, they had to study.
It was boring, but it was a must. A grownup person didn't go around, doing
whatever they wanted all the time. Sometimes, they needed to buckle down and do
what was right.
***
Matty wasn't particularly
surprised by the arm thrown over his shoulders and for his personal space to be
invaded like that.
"For the record, Jamie,
I'm here only because Zoey's crazy."
"Zoey," Jamie said with a
grin. "That cheeky girl on the phone. Do you swing both ways, Matty?"
"No."
"So, just a little thing
you don't have in common with Rusty."
When Jamie called, Matty
had forgotten they had exchanged phone numbers. And now, he wasn't so sure he
wanted to be there and talk about Rusty. Damn, he was turning into such a
coward. He needed to get a grip already. And he wanted to talk about Rusty. Not
to curse at him, like Zoey seemed to prefer, but to try understand him, if such
a thing were possible to begin with.
"Yeah, I guess so. What
would you like to do? Where to?"
"Let's take a walk."
Jamie had no trouble holding him. If Rusty weren't in the picture, Matty could see no reason to not give in and have a little
fun with the attractive bad boy by his side.
Nothing was truly stopping
him apart from his feelings. Zoey had gone as far as to talk to him about
rebound sex, but Matty didn't feel like that would be the right solution for
him. With Rusty's rejection, it felt as if all the desire had been washed out
of him. There was nothing left.
"So, Rusty went and did
it, right?"
"Aren't you abnormally in
touch with what's going on at Sunny Hill, Jamie? I bet you only called because
you heard... wait. Did it end up in Xpress?"
"That crappy gossip rag?
I have no idea. But I heard enough people talking about Rusty Parker's long awaited
return. The king got himself a queen. Am I wrong?"
"I don't think you are,"
Matty said, although he felt his chest caving in from the pressure.
"Where does that leave
you, Matty?"
"Exactly where I am."
"Where's that?"
The entire conversation
seemed so strange. Matty had expected Jamie to try to get into his pants, or at
least allude to that.
"Whatever impression you
might have about what went on between Rusty and I,
it's wrong," he said. "I mean, it was just a thing between us. Like fuck
buddies, to speak your language. August's more than that to him."
"Rusty has been fuck
buddies for a moment or two with a whole lot of girls, but never with a dude,"
Jamie said.
"That's just a detail.
And it's irrelevant."
"Really? How weird. All
those months of you two fucking like rabbits, you know that's weird, too,
right?"
"It's not weird. It was a
pleasurable way to pass the time." It was getting more and more difficult to
get the words out in Jamie's presence. The guy was looking for a truth, and
Matty had no idea if he had that truth to give him.
"If that was all it was,
how come you're so down?"
"That's my problem. And
weren't you the one who said something about offering comfort to those in need?
Not so keen on your saintly duties, are you?" Matty said and shook his head. At
least, if Jamie did that, if he jumped at the opportunity, then he would have a
reason to call off the date and go back to his dorm to lick his wounds the way
he wanted.
"Oh, I'm here to offer
you all the comfort you need." Jamie stopped and turned him so that they were facing
each other. "You know, you're really pretty."
"Thanks."
"I didn't mean it as a
compliment. It's a fact."
"I see. This is how
you're trying to seduce me."
"Maybe." That sexy
dimpled smile must have won over many hearts. "How am I doing so far?"
"I'm afraid you'll have
to try harder than that."
"Oh, yeah?" Jamie wrapped
one hand around the back of his neck and moved closer.
Matty met
his gaze without flinching. And he didn't close his eyes, either, when Jamie
moved in for a kiss.
***
What's
the definition of a worthy cause, Sunny Hill? We'll tell you something about
such grand ideas. A worthy cause requires a worthy opponent, and therefore, we
see neither. If you've paid attention to what has been happening lately on our
beloved campus grounds, you know what we're talking about.
Are
there truly no more heroes left in the world? The throne is vacant. No masked
singers wake up the night to make it come alive. And Connor Williams and his Implacables are winning without an opponent.
We're
bitter. We're through. Give us a hero, Sunny Hill, or we might just have to
pull the plug. You don't want that, do you?
Do
you?
TBC
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