Date: Wed, 11 Jan 2006 19:04:07 EST From: ImJeff0882@aol.com Subject: Craig Finds Paradise, part 3 The following story contains graphic sexual scenes involving adult males. If material of this nature offends you then you should not read this story. Additionally, if you are under 18 years of age in most states you are not allowed to read this story by law. This story is fiction. If the characters in this story resemble anyone in anyway, it is purely by coincidence. The author (Jeff Hunter) claims all copyrights to this story and no duplication or publication of this story is allowed, except by the web sites to which it has been posted, without the consent of the author. Positive comments are always welcome and you may e-mail them to ImJeff0882@aol.com Craig Finds Paradise, part 3. Chapter Three When the movie was over Craig walked to the window and looked outside. "Oh no," he goaned. "What is it?" "It stopped snowing." Roger walked up to the window and looked outside. "Don't you want it to stop so you can go home?" Craig looked embarrassed. "Yeah. I guess so." "What's going on, Craig?" Craig walked over and sat in front of the fire. "I just can't wait to get away. I thought September wasn't all that far off, but after being here with you," he hesitated. "What's going on at home?" Craig looked at him. "Nothing bad. I just hate living in Happy Valley. It's not a very happy place for me. I got made fun of all the time in school. I was always the smallest, the skinniest, and the boy with the voice like an angel." "Oh, I'm sorry," Roger said sitting next to him. "In high school everyone pretty much just ignored me. I had choir and stuff but never had friends. I guess everyone thought I was gay. I guess I did too, but I didn't want to think that I was. My dad hates gay people. I didn't want him to hate me. When I'd visit him he'd talk about how gay people were evil. My mom always said that I wasn't gay, that I would never do anything like that. When my sister went to college she lived at school, but when I wanted to go my mom said she didn't have the money and I had to live at home. "In college I decided that I was going to have a new start that I was going to meet a girl and get married and have children and then my parents would be proud of me. I decided that even if I thought about men I would get married. But then I think I figured out that I was probably gay but I knew I'd never have a boyfriend. There was a boy in choir in college who liked me. He wanted me to go to a movie with him, but I knew he wanted me to be gay with him and I was too afraid. Every time he'd talk to me, that feeling would happen." "What feeling?" "I'd start to shake inside." "Like you did last night?" "Yeah." Roger nodded. "You think you wanted him?" "Yeah, maybe; but I decided I didn't want him either. I wanted a girl." Tears filled Craig's eyes. "But I did want him. And I like what you and I did a lot. And I don't want to go home. But I do." More tears. "I don't think I can be gay." "Well, Craig, I don't think you can do much about the way you feel, but you can do something about the way you behave. I mean you have choices." "Like what?" "Well, you can get a girlfriend and get married and have children and ignore these feelings. I don't think you'll be very happy or successful doing that, but you can try, I guess. Or, you can get married, have a family and have boyfriends on the side. A lot of people have affairs. Your affairs would be with men." Craig listened. "You can not get married and date woman and play straight and have boyfriends on the side and not let anyone know, or you can just have boyfriends and not let anyone know. You know, act straight. Or you can just not have a boyfriend or a girlfriend." "None of that sounds very happy." "Well, life isn't only happy. They are all choices you can make; painful choices, but choices none the less." Craig looked away. "Your only other alternative is to live as a gay man, hope that you can find a man who loves you and that you can love and fight for whatever piece of happiness life can afford you." "But what about my parents and all the people who hate gay people?" "What about them?" "They will hate me." "Yeah, maybe they will, but you have to decide who you live your life for; yourself or all those other people." Craig sat silently. "Craig, life isn't easy. I'm one of the lucky ones. I ran away because I knew my family couldn't love me if I told them that I was gay. I picked a job that isolated me from them and everyone else. I was alone and miserable for years. I mean I had the occasional boyfriend here and there but never would I allow myself to fall in love with a man. Then I became so depressed and so lonely, well, it was a bad time. That's when I started looking for Tommy. Not to be a boyfriend but to have someone to talk to. To find out what he was doing. How he was living his life." "What did he say?" "He told me that everyone knew he was gay and that if they didn't like it they were no longer part of his life. I asked him if his parents knew and he said yes and they were not happy at first but that they were fine with it now. He said that Adam hasn't talked to him since he found out. "That's when we started becoming friends again. But I knew that if I didn't start admitting that I was gay that any chance we might have for a relationship was slim. I told my parents and they were surprised but they never hated me. Actually, they love me. So, I'm lucky. I have parents who love me." "My parents would never love me." "That might very well be true. So, you have to decide what's best for you. But, I am happy with my life." Craig sat and looked to be deep in thought. He said, "That boy that asked me to go to a movie; he asked this other guy out to the movie and they became boyfriends. I knew I could never have a boyfriend, but when they were boyfriends I was really sad. My choir leader said that I should apply for this program to get a Masters in Music. He said that I could lead choir and teach, too. I was so happy. They'll give me money. I could work at college and I would be able to live alone while I got my degree and I would be hours away from Happy Valley and my parents and then I could have a boyfriend." "Nothing has changed. You can still do that." "But then I thought that if I had a boyfriend I'd never be able to go home. I'd never be able to see my parents. So, then I decided that I would just go and I'd live alone and not have anyone." "That sounds like the most difficult way to live ones life. But, Craig, you can still do that, too." "I know, but now I know what I'll be missing. I think I would go crazy." Roger laughed. "I doubt that you'll go crazy. You might feel horny as hell." "Now, I think I want to go to college and have a boyfriend." Roger smiled, "You know, you're not going to go to college and have a boyfriend the next day. It will take time to meet people, make friends, find a group of gay men, and find a man you like." "I know." More tears. "Why is it so hard?" "It just is, Craig. But, if you find the right man to love it will be worth it." "But, I'm twenty already. It might be too late." Roger laughed out loud. "Craig, you're a baby. Believe me you are not too old. You are just becoming a man. I don't think I was ready for a boyfriend until maybe a year or so ago." Craig looked at him. "You don't think I'm too old to find a boyfriend, do you?" "No, you are perfect." Roger smiled, "Thank you. So you've got eight years before you are perfect." Craig smiled. "Can we be friends?" "What do you mean?" "I don't know anyone who is gay. Can I talk to you sometimes? You know call you and talk to you, and maybe visit you. You said Tommy might transfer to the city and you said you would be coming to visit and stay with him. We could visit and talk." Roger smiled. "I'd like that. Yes, that would be fine." Craig smiled and then leaned into Roger. "I'm scared." Roger leaned back on the sofa, put his arm around Craig and held him. "I get scared a lot, too." "Really." "Yes. And like you, when I'd get scared I'd let it stop me. But now when I get scared I tell myself it is okay to be scared and that I can do what I want to do anyway, just like you did when you told me that you looked into the trunk." Crain nodded as he listened and rested his head on Roger's chest. "That's turned out to be okay, hasn't it?" Craig looked up at Roger and smiled and then lifted the blanket off his lap. His erection pointed up at them. Roger smiled and said, "I don't think we should wait until tomorrow." "For what?" Roger took Craig by the hand and led him to the bedroom. "Are you ready for a new adventure?" Craig looked at Roger. "Do you want to fuck me?" "Oh yeah. Wow, yeah for sure. Cool." Craig followed Roger to the bedroom. "Was Tommy the first one you fucked?" "Yes," "Do you remember that, too?" "Oh yeah. It wasn't all that great. Neither of us knew what we were doing?" "What happened?" "Well, it was when he went to college. He came home for Thanksgiving. He called me as soon as he arrived. Wow, I remember getting that phone call. I answered the phone and heard his voice. I knew he was coming home. My dick started getting hard as soon as I heard his voice. It was so exciting; having this secret sex thing going on with him. It was scary and exciting." "You didn't want anyone to know." "Definitely not. But, I couldn't wait to see him. We had to be careful. We didn't want people to think something weird was going on. But, it was so cool. He got home Wednesday about dinner time. He called and said he was going for a run and wanted to know if I wanted to run with him. Well, I was on the track team and always running so I said yes. My parents were cool with it. "He said we would run up in the hills, it was dark already. He said we should drive up to the bike path. He picked me up. We drove around the block and he parked and we started grabbing at each other. He pushed my hands away and pulled down my running pants and started sucking me. Then I sucked him. I think we both came in about a minute. Then we drove to the bike path. We got out and started running up around the hills and then he told me to follow him. We ran off the path and into the brush and trees and stuff. "I started getting a hard-on. I knew why we were going off the trail, or so I thought." "You thought he was going to blow you." "Yeah. We got to this place. It was dark and there were trees. He stood near a tree and pulled his running pants off. I did the same thing. He took this stuff out of his pocket and said to me. Do you want to fuck me? I was kind of dumb and said, `how?' He said, this is lube stuff and a condom, you put it on your dick and then you put your dick in my butt. I really wanted to do it, but I was scared and I didn't know if I wanted him to do it to me." Craig said, "Yeah, I don't know about that either." "He told me that he wouldn't do it to me if I didn't want him to, but he hoped I'd do it to him. My dick was hard. I told him that I thought it would hurt and he said it probably would but I should just go slowly. I said okay. My legs were shaking. We put the lube on my dick and his butt and then he knelt down and put the condom on my dick. He turned around and leaned over and held onto the tree. I walked up behind him and started running my dick around there. I started pushing a little. He didn't say anything. I pushed more and more and more until he yelled, `stop'. I stopped. It was hurting him. He was breathing hard and then he said okay. I went in further and further. He said he was okay and I started rocking back and forth. It was cold, it was dark, I was nervous, his butt was hurting him and he was saying go ahead do it and I did. And about 20 seconds later I came." Roger laughed. "It was weird and I decided I didn't like it as much as getting head." "Did you let him fuck you?" "Not that night, but before he went back to school I did. I think I was missing him so much and wanted him to want to come home at Christmas. I told him he could. We went back there and I stood leaning against the tree and he did it to me." "Did it hurt?" "A little, but not so much after he got started. He really liked doing it; a lot. He told me to do it to him. He told me to take my time, not to cum so fast. I got inside him and started fucking him. I guess because I wasn't scared I started to enjoy it and I was enjoying it a lot. I was fucking him faster now and he kept saying that he liked it. I was really into it When I came I almost fell down, my legs were shaking so much." "Wow," Craig said and laughed, "that would have been funny. "He asked me if he could do it again and I said okay. I leaned against the tree and he did it to me. It took him a while and he was fucking me hard, but it was kind of exciting. He'd reach around and play with my dick and before long I was hard and I knew I wanted to do it to him again. I kept thinking that he liked fucking me a lot and that he'd call me for sure when he came home for Christmas." Roger laughed again. "Did you fuck him again?" Roger nodded. "Did he call you at Christmas?" "Yes, and at semester break and at spring break and then the summer after." "And then his parents moved away," Craig said. "And then they moved away and I went to college and I never saw him again. Roger got up and opened the trunk. He reached down into the trunk and pulled out a bottle of lube and a package of condoms. Craig smiled. Roger asked, "Have you ever put one of these on?" Craig shook his head. Roger knelt down in front of him, between his legs. He squirted some lube on Craig dick and ran his fingers over it. Craig sighed. Roger opened the condom wrapper. He showered Craig the condom. He held the reservoir tip between his fingers. Craig watched, as Roger began to unroll the condom over Craig's dick. Craig nodded. Roger squirted lube on the condom and ran his finger over the condom. Craig watched. Roger lay down on the bed. He squirted lube on his fingers and began to work his fingers into his butt hole. One finger, two, three, and then he moved them in and out of his butt. Craig watched. "It helps if I'm a little stretched out. It's been about a month since I've seen Tommy." Craig nodded. Roger made himself comfortable. He told Craig to move on top of him. Craig did. Roger spread his legs and wrapped them around Craig. Craig was breathing hard. "Now take your dick in your hand and move it to my butt hole." Craig did. "Move it around, up and down and push very gently" Craig did. "Okay, there, good, now very gently push in a little at a time." Craig did. "Okay, oh yeah." Craig could feel his cock head move inside of Roger. He remained frozen still. He was afraid he was going to hurt Roger. Roger said, "Can you feel that?" Craig nodded. "Okay, push in a little more." Craig did. Roger began to relax. "I'm okay. You can start to move back and forth." Craig began rocking on his knees. "Oh wow, this is feeling good. Oh wow," Craig said, staring into Roger's eyes. "Am I doing okay?" "You are doing great; just don't push in to far yet. You're bigger than anything I've ever had before" Roger said as he began to rub his dick. "You can start fucking me faster and harder." "Really?" "Yes, if you hurt me I'll tell you, but it is feeling good." "Really," Craig said as he began to thrust deeper and faster. "Oh wow, oh fuck." Craig began to push fast and hard. "Oh fuck, I think I'm going to cum already. Oh fuck," he yelled as he collapsed on top of Roger. He kept thrust and digging his feet into the mattress and saying, "Oh fuck, oh fuck," as he came. "Oh fuck, that was too fast." Roger grabbed the sheets as Craig pushed deep into him. He felt pressure deep inside him like he never felt before. He was happy that Craig was cumming. Roger laughed. "I think it's always fast the first time." "Can I do it again?" "Are you hard?" "Well, I don't think so, right now, but I'm sure I will be in a while." Roger laughed again and said, "Yes, I'm sure you will be." Craig said, "That wasn't very good, was it?" "Don't worry about it. You'll do just fine later on. By the time you leave you're going to be a fuck master," Roger said and smiled. Craig lay beside Roger with his dick still wrapped in the cum filled condom with a big grin on his face. "This sounds like fun." They decided that they were hungry. Naked, they searched through the cupboards and refrigerator trying to decide on what to have for dinner. Roger could still feel the fucking Craig gave him. He took a deep breath as he thought about taking all of Craig at some point. Eventually, they decided on macaroni with sauce and a salad. As Craig began cutting and chopping stuff for the salad, Roger put up a pot to boil the pasta. Roger, oddly for the first time, began to notice how attractive Craig was. He watched as Craig moved through the kitchen. He noticed the smooth roundness of his buttock, the leanness of his legs, his tight stomach and chest, the fullness of his lips and the faint smile that hung upon them. He had to strongest urge to touch him in a loving way. Up until now, their touching had been mostly sexual. But, Roger was being to feel a gentle appreciation for the boy who was on the one hand so confident and out spoken and on the other so frightened and shy. Roger said, "Sing for me." "What?" Craig said. "Anything you want." "NO, I didn't mean what should I sing, I meant what do you mean, sing for me. I just can't sing." "Why not?" Craig laughed. "Because I need music." "Well, I have piles of CD's. Put one on and sing for me. I want to hear you sing." "You don't have choir music." Roger laughed. "Some how I doubt that's all you sing. Do you sing songs from Broadway shows?" "Well, yeah. But," his voice began to stammer. "Craig, we're naked, sucking and fucking, swallowing each other's cum. I'm going to let you fuck me until you can't get it up anymore. You can't be too embarrassed to sing in front of me." "You won't laugh if I fuck up. It's not easy to just put on a CD and sing along." "I promise you I won't laugh. If I in any way embarrass you, you can, damn I don't know what, but you can do what ever you want." Craig stood there looking stressed. He had his arms crossed over his chest. Roger's felt his body warming as he watched the sweet innocence a boy morph into the deep apprehensions of a pained young adult. Craig nodded. He walked into the living room and began to dig through stacks of CD's. "Wow, you have a lot of music here; all different kinds of music." "It's my hobby. I love music. It moves me like nothing else. Well, except maybe Tommy." Craig turned and looked at Roger and said, "You really love him." "Yes, I do." Craig continued to look through the CD's. "Do you have a picture of him?" "Hundreds." Craig smiled, "No really." "Yes, hundreds. That my hobby also." "Oh wow, did you take these pictures," Craig said, looking around the living room. "Yes." "Damn, you are good. I thought you bought them someplace." "I've had shows, and recently a publisher asked me to put stuff together for a book." "Wow, that's cool. That one there," Craig said, pointing to an image of fallen trees and a waterfall "is one of my favorites." Roger smiled, "You have a good eye. That's the one they want to use for the cover." Craig pulled out a CD. It was `Chicago'. He skipped to track sixteen, `Mr. Cellophane'. He began to sing and sway along with Joel Grey to the song. Roger listened, chills ran though his chest and arms as he watched and listened. It was as if a different persona inhabited Craig's body. Craig sang out. He looked to be in a different place and time. "should have been my name, Mr. Cellophane, should have been my name, because you can look right through me, walk right by me, and never know I'm there." Craig smiled and bowed when he was done. "Oh my god, Craig. When you said you sang in the choir I figured you had a good voice but, damn it, Craig, that was wonderful. Wait, I know you must know popular music." Roger got up and pulled out Rob Thomas and handed it to Craig. "Do you know this?" "Yeah, if you mean, `lonely no more'." "Exactly." "You know this isn't easy." "I know, but please." Craig put on the CD, put on track two. Roger could see the apprehension in Craig's body. He began to sing along with the CD. He struggled with the first few lines and then something happened. He closed his eyes and the music filled him. His voice filled the room. Roger again felt chills run through his body. He watched Craig move with the music. His body moved rhythmically, but with both a powerful sensuality and grace. As Craig finished singing `lonely no more', he went right into the next song, `Ever the same'. Roger sat back amazed. Craig opened his eyes as he sang and smiled at Roger. When the track ended, Craig smiled and bowed again. "I do this at home all the time when no one is home. I can hear a song two or three times and for some reason I just know it after that." Roger just stared. "When I feel really depressed and lonely and no one is home I put on my CD player with my earplugs in and sing. Either that or I jerk off," he said and laughed. "Or I do both." "Craig, your voice is so powerful. Where does it come from?" Craig laughed. "I'm not kidding, Craig. I'm shocked." Craig's face turned red. Roger walked up to him and hugged him. "Craig you don't belong with the chorus." "I'm in a choir not the chorus." "You should be singing solo." Craig pulled away and sat down on the sofa. Roger sat beside him. "Craig, you must know how good you are." Craig shrugged. "No, that's not fair. I mean you've got to know that you are very good. I understand that you're afraid to perform, but you can't tell me you don't know your voice is very good." "People who sing in choirs have good voices." "Yes, I have no doubt about that. But, come on, your choir leader must have told you that you are more than good." Craig sighed. "The college is putting on a show with a community playhouse. It's going to be a joint summer festival. They're doing `Cabaret'. He wants me to try out for the lead." "Oh wow, Craig. Of wow, that's a fantastic part. Tommy and I went to New York and saw it on Broadway with Alan Cumming. It was fantastic. What an opportunity." "I can't. I just can't. Please, I just can't." "Okay, enough for now, but tell me we can talk about this later. Okay?" Craig looked at him like a scared puppy. "Okay, later." They both stood and walked to the kitchen. Craig went back to making the salad and Roger stirred the sauce. Craig said, "Thank you," and looked at Roger. Roger looked at him quizzically. "For saying I'm good and not laughing at me." Roger just stared at Craig. "Why would anyone laugh at you?" "I think I look gay when I sing." Roger finally got it. He's not afraid of people laughing at his voice, he's afraid people will think he `looks gay'. "You don't look gay when you sing," Roger said emphatically. "Do you look gay when you sing in the choir?" Craig shrugged. "No one is looking at me. And I don't move when I sing in the choir. I think when I move when I sing I look gay." "You don't," Roger insisted. "Anyway, what does looking gay mean?" "People use to say I sounded like an angel. When I was a kid, I had one of those voices, you know, in a boy's choir, how kids sound." Roger nodded. "At Christmas they always gave me the hardest solos when we'd sing Christmas Carols. My choir leader said that I had the voice of an angel. He said that my voice carried through out the auditorium. Then someone said I had the voice of an angel and I looked like a fairy." Tears filled Craig's eyes. "After that I couldn't do it anymore." "Oh Craig, that's just shit. They were jealous. They wanted the attention you were getting. Didn't your parents tell you that?" Craig shook his head as he cried. "My dad said it. He said I embarrassed him. He said he wanted a football player for a son and he got a fairy instead." Craig turned away and cried. Roger's eyes filled with tears and his body filled with anger. Craig said, "Please, I can't talk about this anymore. It makes me too sad and I've been feeling so happy while I've been here with you." Roger said, "You're a very talented young man, a very attractive young man, and I'd say a good young man. And, yes we can talk about something else." He walked up to Craig and embraced his from behind. He put his arms around Craig and kissed his neck. Craig sighed and said, "Your photographs are beautiful. I was looking at them when you went down to my car." He sniffed and wiped his face with his hands. "I don't know about stuff like that, but they look beautiful." "Thank you." "After dinner can I see the pictures of Tommy?" Roger smiled and said, "Sure, I guess he wouldn't mind." "Why would he mind?" "Well, most of them are nude pictures." "Oh wow, now I really want to see them," Craig said smiling. "Can you see stuff?" "Oh yeah, you can see everything and in it's full glory." "Oh wow, really? Cool." "Maybe you'll let me take pictures of you," Roger suggested. "You mean me in the nude?" Roger nodded. "With a boner?" Roger laughed. "I'll show you the images of Tommy and you'll see that I can take them in a way so that where you have a boner your face will be in the shadows. But, we can take pictures of you in the nude without you having a boner. You're a very attractive young man and I think I can take some really interesting shots of you. I know that this is going to sound odd to you, but I want to take pictures of you singing. You really are remarkably attractive when you sing. I had chills running thought my body. I'd like to see if I can capture that." Craig just stared at Roger. "I'm serious Craig. Also, there is an innocence about you that I want to capture and a very powerful sensuality, too" "You're just saying this." "Craig, I've not lied to you yet. I don't lie to people I want to have as a friend. I don't think you see yourself as I and probably a lot of others see you. You're a very attractive, powerfully sensual young man." Roger noticed that Craig's penis began to lengthen and lift from its flaccid hanging. Craig reached down and touched himself. His dick continued to lengthen. "Sounds exciting," Craig admitted and smiled. He turned around and leaned hard into Roger's arms. Roger held him tightly. Roger felt a deep compassion for Craig. His eyes filled with tears. He kissed Craig on his head. They sat and had dinner and talked about Roger's photograph, about Craig's singing in the choir and about the master program he was interviewing for. When they were done with dinner Roger told Craig to stoke the fire while he did the dishes. He suggested that then they might watch a movie. Craig said, "Maybe I can fuck you again before the movie. And then we can have popcorn." Roger smiled and nodded and said, "Okay, but I'd like to guide you through it." "What does that mean?" "You'll let me tell you how to do it, so that we can both get the greatest pleasure out of it," Roger said. "Yeah, for sure. That's cool. I'll do whatever you say." Roger noticed once again that Craig's penis began to respond. Again, Craig touched himself, and again his penis slowly moved from its flaccid hanging to a nine inch rod that stood parallel to the floor. As Craig walked to the bedroom his dick swung from side to side. Craig noticed Roger watching his dick swing and smiled. When they got to the bedroom, Craig stood still and swung his hips from side to side, his dick followed slapping against his legs. Roger shook his head and laughed. Craig said, "It's kind of cool that you like my dick. I never knew it was all that interesting." Roger said, as he handed Craig the lube and a condom, "I'm not sure interesting is the right word." Craig smiled as he squirted lube on his dick and began to rub it around with his fingers. He bit into the wrapper of the condom and pulled the condom free. He looked at it as he put it on the head of his dick; he glanced at Roger. Roger nodded. He held the tip as he rolled the condom down the length of his dick. Roger said, "Someday when you are a famous singer on Broadway and I come to see you I can say that I saw you singing in the nude." "You can say that I sucked your dick and that you gave me my first blow job, and that it was awesome." Roger laughed. "Oh wow, and you can say that you were the first person I ever fucked and you taught me to be a master fucker," Craig said laughing. "Exactly." Roger knelt down on the bed. He said, turning to look at Craig, "Get behind me." Craig did. "There are different positions to fuck in. This is one. Now I want you to enjoy yourself, but don't cum. Get yourself close but not too close, okay?" "Okay, I'll try." They got into position so that they were lined up. "Take it easy going in and give me a little time to get use to you." Craig nodded even though Roger couldn't see him. Craig put his dick against Roger's ass hole and applied pressure. His dick head disappeared into Roger. He hesitated thinking that Roger might complain, but he didn't. He pushed further into Roger; he was deeply into him. He began rocking back and forth and then thrusting hard into Roger. "Oh fuck, this feels so good," Craig said and kept thrusting. Roger nodded and moaned and said "You're right it does. Not all the way, not yet, okay." Craig began fucking Roger harder. He had hold of his hips and was fucking hard. "Are you getting close," Roger asked. "Yes," Craig said between breathes. "Slow down." Craig did. "Stop for a minute." Craig did. "I'm going to lie down, come down with me and lay on my back." Craig did. "Lay still so that you lose some of the excitement, so that you'll last longer." Craig breathing hard said, "It feels so good." Roger said, "I know, and it's going to feel even better. Now start fucking me, but fuck me slowly. Let me see what it feels like to have you all the way in me." Craig pushed slowly, and then he stopped. "Is that all of it," Roger asked. "No, I don't think so." Roger laughed and shook his head. "Okay, go for it; slowly. Use just your hips." Craig started fucking again. Craig was fucking him slowly but pushing hard. He began to bite at Roger's shoulder. Roger turned his head and said, "Kiss me." Craig did. He was breathing very hard. "Are you all the way in?" Roger asked. "Yes," Craig said and slowed to a stop. "Wow, I feel like I can cum just laying like this." "Don't move, just lay still," Roger instructed. They both lay still for a while. "Let's try another position." They pulled apart. Roger knelt at the edge of the bed and told Craig to stand behind him. Craig did and knew exactly what to do. Moments later he was inside Roger and fucking him. Roger was masturbating and moaning. "Control your orgasm. Take your time, enjoy yourself, you'll cum," he said and he continued to masturbate. "Oh fuck, you are so big." "Is it okay for you?" Roger nodded. "This is feeling even better. This is awesome. I love it," Craig said. Roger said, "Let's try another position." They pulled apart and Roger lay at the edge of the bed with his legs pulled far apart and arched his back upward. Again, Craig knew what to do and was inside him and thrusting. "Oh my god, Craig you feel wonderful inside of me. Fuck, I'm getting close." Craig was watching Roger masturbate. He said, "Can I suck you and make you cum?" Roger looked at him and smiled and said, "Sure." Craig leaned down with his dick still in Roger and began sucking him. Roger was amazed. No one had ever been able to fuck him and suck him. Roger gripped the blanket on the bed and began moaning loudly. "Oh fuck, oh fuck, Craig, oh shit, suck me." Craig sucked and sucked hard as he slowly pushed his dick into Roger. Roger was reeling in pleasure. He grabbed Craig by the hair and began shaking all over. His orgasm was far more intense than he had experienced for a long time. His orgasm hit as he felt the first shot of his cum blast deep into Craig's mouth. Craig began swallowing. Roger arched his back upward and growled. As he did, Craig's dick slipped out of him, which only seemed to add to his orgasm. He held Craig's head in place as he began thrusting into his mouth. Finally, he fell into a heap. Craig raised his head and said, "Was it good?" and smiled. Roger laughed and said, "Fuck," his body was still tensing involuntarily as he said, "I can't remember a better orgasm." Craig smiled and said, "Fuck, yeah. I'm a suck master," and laughed. Roger laughed hard. He was on an endorphin high. Roger moved so that he was lying at the head of the bed. He smiled at Craig and motioned to him to lie on top of him. Craig did. They held each other. Roger said, "Your turn. Was there a position you want to cum in?" Craig smiled and said, "All of them." Roger laughed. "Can I cum like this?" Roger nodded and lifted his legs and arched his back as Craig moved into position. Roger said, "One more way to do this and then you can go for it, okay?" Craig nodded. Roger, with his legs open wide, told Craig to move so that his knees were on the outside of Roger's hips. "Move in so that your dick is against my butt." Craig did. "Okay, put it in me." Craig did. "Okay, now just use your hips." Craig began thrusting and looked down at his dick sliding in and out of Roger. "Okay, now push yourself all the way in, and then pull all the way out so that just the tip of your dick is in and then push back in." Craig did and said, "Oh fuck," as he pushed in and out of Roger. "Oh fuck this is awesome." He moved in a fluid motion that only a limber young man can. His movements became more rapid and more intense. Roger said, "Stop before you get too close." Craig nodded and kept thrusting. Finally, Craig, breathing hard again, slowed down and looked at Roger. "I've got to cum soon." "Pick your position and fuck my as hard as you want until you cum." Craig thought about it for a moment and then moved so that he way lying on top of Roger, chest to chest. He buried his face in Roger's neck and slowly began to fuck him. "Hold me really tight," Craig said. Roger held Craig. He ran his hands over Craig's back and down his butt checks as Craig's hips bobbed up and down. The rest of his body remained still. He was pacing his orgasm. Roger smiled. "Yeah, enjoy yourself. Make it last as long as you want. Let it build up and then fuck my hard." Craig was kissing Roger's neck and biting at his shoulder. He began to push harder using more of his body. Roger arched his back upwards so that Craig could easily push hard into him. Craig was on his knees thrusting hard. The sound of Craig's body slamming into Roger's was being drowned out by the grunts and groans that Craig began to make. Craig began to thrust hard and fast. His feet pushed hard into the mattress, trying to gain traction to push as far into Roger as he could as he felt his orgasm approaching. Roger held Craig. The depth to which Craig was able to penetrate inside of him was completely new to him. He thought it bordered someplace between pain and pleasure. He decided that no matter what it felt like, he was going to let Craig take this anywhere he wanted. Craig groaned so loudly it sounded like he was in pain. He kept pushing hard into Roger and then he relaxed the pressure on Roger's body, pulled a few inches back and then slammed into Roger again. Again, he groaned loudly. His body shook violently as he pulled back and slammed into Roger again. He just kept pushing hard. He relaxed, his body spasmodically tensing, his legs shaking. Again, he pushed hard into Roger until he collapsed in Roger's arms. "Oh fuck," Craig wheezed. "Oh fuck, Oh fuck." Craig again pushed into Roger using his feet to hold the pressure on Roger's body. "Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, that was awesome. Oh fuck, I want to do it again. I really really want to do that again." Roger laughed. "You can," but you're going to have to give my butt a little rest. Craig looked at Roger and laughed. Roger said, "That was the best fucking I've ever had." "I never knew it could be like that. I just kept getting better and better. I like making it last and taking time. That was intense." Roger laughed, "You don't need any more instructions from me. Later, when you want to try this again, you're going to fly solo." Craig looked at Roger and smiled and lay he head down on Roger's chest. His dick was still in Roger. He kissed Roger's chest. "Can I suck you again, too?" "Yes, from now on, we'll do what you want." "Isn't there anything you want to do?" Roger touched Craig's head and said, "Yes, actually, I'd love to suck you tomorrow morning when we wake up. I'd like you to just lay back and let me take about an hour and give you a blow job." Craig said, "Oh wow, an hour blow job. Fuck, yeah. Can I give you an hour blow job?" "Sure," Roger said and smiled. As they got up from the bed, Roger felt how used his ass had been. It began to ache. He smiled and thought it was worth it. Again, as he watched Craig removing the condom, he felt a warm and generous feeling developing for Craig. Craig went into the bathroom and peed. Roger went into the kitchen and got two beers. When Craig entered the kitchen, Roger handed him a beer and then pulled Craig toward him and hugged him tightly. Craig relaxed and seemed to melt into Roger's arms. Roger stroked his head and they kissed. "You're a good young man," Roger said, "bright, funny, attractive, hung like a porn star, and very likeable. It's too bad you don't know that about yourself." "I feel like that since I've been here." Craig hugged Roger tightly. "You're a nice man, a good teacher," Craig said and laughed. "I really like being with you. The sex is awesome, and you're a good cook too. And, you give the best hugs I've ever had." "Thank you and you are a very quick learner." "I hope you'll let us be friends after I leave. Maybe me and you and Tommy can be friends and then when I have a boyfriend we can go camping and stuff." Roger smiled and nodded. "Let's make that popcorn and put on a movie." That night Craig fucked Roger and this time it was without instruction. Craig started out with Roger on his hands and knees, then moved him onto his back and lay on top of him. He took his time to fuck him hard. Roger masturbated to orgasm as Craig reached his orgasm. They held each other and fell asleep. In the morning, Roger woke Craig up by sucking his dick. Craig soon had to take a break to pee, but then jumped back into bed and enjoyed his hour long blow job. Roger convinced Craig that they should have breakfast before Craig returned the favor. As noon approached on this cold, but clean Monday morning, they both realized that by tomorrow the roads would be cleared. Both of them silently began to regret the passage of time. Roger reminded Craig that he said that Roger could photograph him. They spend the afternoon enjoying moving from the bed, to the floor in front of the fireplace, to the bath tub and shower. Roger photographed Craig singing and moving to the music. Roger suggested Craig pose naked outside in the show. Craig just stared at Roger with his mouth open. "I'll be naked with you. Put on a pair of boots, they won't be in the picture. Well, talk about where and how to pose, then run out and pose and I'll take a couple of pictures and then we'll run back in. It's not as bad as you think." Craig laughed and thought it would actually be fun. "Okay, if you're naked too, I'll do it." And they did. In all, Roger shot seven rolls of black and white, thirty-six exposure film. "Damn, you think you've got enough pictures," Craig said. "In my experience, you get one, and if you are lucky two images that are good off of each roll. It is really hard to get a good image." "Will I ever get to see them?" "Of course." "You can't send them to my house." Roger smiled, "We'll see each other again." They were cold, so they both jumped into the shower. From there they were back in bed where, once again, Craig fucked Roger. This time, Craig sucked Roger to orgasm before cumming himself. The next morning they heard the plow trucks coming up the road. Roger dressed and walked down to the road. They plowed the road to the entrance of the national forest and then plowed the road up to Roger's house. By the time they were done, it was afternoon. Roger thanked them and watched them drive away. When he went inside Craig was dressed. He looked forlorn. "Time to go," Roger said. "We should call your mother and let her know you'll be coming home." Craig just shrugged. "I feel bad, too. But, like we said, you can call and we'll see each other again." Craig stood up and began walking toward the door. "Maybe it's too late to leave today. Maybe I should wait until tomorrow morning." "Ah, well," "I can't leave without trying something." "What?" He looked at Roger. "I'm scared, but I know I am going to go crazy thinking about it." "What?" "I want you to fuck me. I want to try it." "I thought you were too afraid to try it." "I was, but I know as soon as I get in my car and start driving away I'm going to start getting nuts about not doing it. I really want to, even though I am scared." "You want to do it even though you are really scared," Roger said. Craig nodded. Roger stared at Craig and said, "I'll make you a deal." "What?" Craig asked. "Since you've been here you've been able to step in front of your fears; right?" Craig nodded. "Okay, then you can spend the night and we'll do what you want, if you agree to try out for the lead in Cabaret." Craig just stared. He sat down again. "Wow, but," he said and thought, "But," "If you get the lead and perform, I promise that I will come and see you if you want. You just let me know when you want me to come and I will. And, I'll stay in town that night and if you want you can stay with me. It will all be up to you." "All I have to do is try out and I can stay?" "If you agree to try out, you can spend tonight and we'll see if you like getting fucked. If you get the lead and want me to come and see you perform, just let me know and I'll be there. Does that sound fair?" "Damn! So, all I have to do is try out." "Make a serious effort." Craig stared at the floor. "Fuck," Craig whispered. He looked up at Roger and smiled and said, "Okay, I'll do it." "You promise?" "Yes, I'll try out. I will," he said and sighed. Roger said, "Let me know when you're ready." "Is it going to hurt a lot?" "We'll do it so that it will hurt hardly at all. I know how to do it so that it will be okay." "How?" "Are you ready?" Roger asked. "Yes," he said and sighed loudly. Roger thought about questioning him about whether or not he really wanted to do this, but he decided that the issue was not getting fucked but getting over his fears. Roger took him by the hand and walked him into the bedroom. Roger and Craig began to undress. Naked, Craig climbed on the bed and waited for Roger. Roger spread lube on his erection and put on a condom. He handed Craig the lube. "Put some on your fingers and spread in around your butt hole." Craig did. Roger watched. "Slowly insert your finger." Craig did. "Move it round." Craig did. "Try to get another finger in and move it around." Craig did. He began to move his fingers in and out of his butt. Craig lay down on the bed. "Straddle me," Roger said, pulling Craig on top of him. Craig did. "Okay, now take hold of my dick and move it around your butt hole." Craig nodded. He took a deep breath. He began to try to get Roger into him. "Not yet. Hold on, for a second." Craig looked at Roger. "When you are going to take me in, I want you to push like you are going to take a dump. Lightly push. What that does is relax those muscles." Craig nodded. "If it starts to hurt, just back off. Get use to it, slowly." Craig took a deep breath. Roger ran his fingers over Craig's flaccid penis. "Take your time, we have all night." Craig smiled. "You're going to enjoy doing this. Once you get use to it, you're going to want to do it again." Craig smiled again. Craig put Roger's dick against his butt hole. He did what Roger said and began to sit down on Roger's dick. He felt a twinge of pain and pulled off. Roger smiled. "Take your time." Craig nodded. He again sat down on Roger's dick. He felt the pressure against his butt hole and pushed further. When he felt Roger's dick move into him he stopped immediately. He froze and looked down at Roger who just lay there. Craig waited for a surge of pain but there was none. Roger kept stroking Craig's soft penis. Craig sat down further. He waited. "It's okay," Craig said. Roger nodded. Craig sat down taking all of Roger's six inches into him. Again, he froze and waited. Roger smiled at him and said, "When you're ready, move around so that you can feel my dick in you." Craig nodded. Slowly he began rocking back and forth on Roger's lap. "Is it okay?" "Yeah, it feels kind of funny. I mean funny good." Roger kept playing with Craig dick. He noticed that Craig was becoming hard. "When you're ready, start to move up and down on it." Craig swallowed hard and nodded. Slowly he moved upward and down again. Again he moved up and down. He nodded at Roger. Roger kept stroking Craig's dick which was becoming fully erect. "Okay, now I don't want you to worry about me, but I want you to let me jerk you off and I want you to use my dick to make it feel good." Craig looked at him confused. "Remember when I gave you a blow job and I had my finger in you?" Craig nodded. "It felt good, right?" "Yeah, really good." "Okay, use my dick like my finger. Only instead of me doing it to you, use my dick to find that spot while I jerk you off." "Oh okay." Roger began stroking Craig dick with his lubed hand. Craig began to focus on the feeling in his butt. He began to enjoy the sensation of having Roger's dick inside him. "Oh wow, that feels good." "Okay, just enjoy yourself." Craig began to bounce up and down harder and faster. Roger smiled. "Oh fuck," Craig moaned. "It feels awesome," he groaned as he began bouncing faster. "Oh fuck, Roger. Oh fuck, I'm going to shoot," he yelled bouncing and moving side to side on Roger lap. Roger was enjoying the expressions on Craig's face. His eyes and mouth were opened wide as he groaned with pleasure. Roger, half sitting up, as he leaned against the headboard of the bed, stroked Craig's dick hard. Roger could feel Craig's sphincter tightening around his dick. Craig began to moan loudly as a blast of spunk shot out of Craig's throbbing dick and hit Roger in the face. Roger was surprised but smiled. He watched as another stream of cum sprayed his chest. Craig kept bouncing and moaning and cumming. Roger kept jerking Craig's engorged dick and watched in amazement at the amount of cum pouring out of Craig. When Craig stopped cumming, Craig stopped bouncing. He was breathing hard. He moved off of Roger's dick and lay down on Roger's cum drenched chest. Roger held him. He waited for Craig to calm. "How was it?" "Fuck, that was awesome. But," he glanced up at Roger. "It's not the same thing. I mean you did fuck me but you didn't enjoy it." "Believe me I enjoyed it." "No, you know what I mean." "Well, this is step one. I wanted you to get to know that it didn't have to hurt and that it could feel good, too." "Can we do it again?" Roger laughed. "That is going to be your name, `can-we-do-it-again Bigalow." Craig laughed. Craig said, "You never came, did you?" "I will." Craig lay his head on Roger's chest. Roger played with Craig's hair. Again, Roger felt a warm generosity toward a young man he hardly knew. He tried to imagine his childhood without the love of his father. It made his eyes well-up with tears. Again, he stroked Craig's hair. He leaned down and kissed Craig's head. Craig asked, "I like when you do that. It feels nice." Roger smiled and said, "That's because I feel nice toward you." They held each other for a while. Craig asked, "Do you want me to suck you?" "Do you mind if we just lay here like this?" Roger asked. Craig looked up at him, "No, I like it; a lot. I just want to be fair." Craig put his arm around Roger's chest. "Tell me what it's like being gay?" "What do you mean?" "You know, when people know." "Mostly people don't care. Well, I guess what I mean is that the people that I know don't care that I am gay. I guess the people who do care don't bother with me and I don't bother with them. The hard part is when Tommy and I are together. There are times when I am with him, like in a restaurant that I want to lean over and kiss him and I can't. I'd like to walk down the street and hold his hand, but I can't." Craig interrupted. "But people don't think you are gay. People would know that I am gay." "How would they know?" "I look gay." "First off, you don't. You're slim, slight, lean, but you can do something about that. You can work out and put ten or fifteen pounds on your frame. You're about five five or so" "Five six," Craig insisted. Roger smiled. "There are a lot of straight men who are five six. And you don't look gay when you sing. Secondly, you are going to look the way you look whether you are gay or not. So, if people think you are gay then they will think you are gay." "Yeah, but if I have a wife they won't." "Okay, but do you want a wife just so your father doesn't have to deal with the fact that you are gay. Are you going to live your life for your father's approval or are you going to try to fight for your own piece of happiness." "But, I'm scared." "So is every man who comes out and says those words." "I'm gay?" "Yes. When I told my parents I was shaking so hard I thought I would wet my pants and I was twenty four. I literally thought I was going to die. But I didn't. And, my parents weren't all that happy about it, but they got use to the idea of having a gay son and things are fine." "But my dad," "Your dad isn't my dad. Your dad will probably never talk to you again. That's got to be hard. But," "What kind of dad is he if he'd do that?" Craig asked. Roger moved his fingers through Craig's hair. Again, he leaned down and kissed his head. Roger said, "Your mom will love you. I talked to her on the phone. She loves you. Talking about your mother, we should call her and tell her you are leaving first thing in the morning." "Yeah, we should." They both walked to the kitchen. Craig called his mother and told her that they had just plowed the roads but he was worried that it might be too late and that he'd leave first thing in the morning. She was relieved. Roger made them a sandwich. "This will hold us over until dinner," he said handing it to Craig. They sat down at the table. He poured them both a soda. "Do we need to have a talk about safe sex?" "No, I've had the classes. Do you and Tommy get tested?" "We have been. We are both disease free." Craig nodded as he ate his sandwich. Craig walked around the cabin naked. He looked outside the window. "It must be nice up here in the summer." Roger smiled. "Maybe I can come and visit you?" "Well, I was figuring the next time I'd see you would be at your performance of Cabaret." Craig smiled. He watched Roger cleaning up the kitchen. "I get a hard-on watching you walk around." Roger chuckled. "Really, and just what is it that turns you on?" "Everything; your arms and chest and stomach and your dick, but mostly your butt," Craig said and laughed. Roger turned and looked at Craig. He had an erection. "And I bet I know what your wanting to do to this butt," he said and slapped his ass. Craig laughed. "Yeah, but it's your turn." "Yeah, I guess it is, but I'm a sucker for a cute young man like you." Craig laughed. "So, how about this, you let me fuck you real quick, and then you can do your thing." Craig smile and nodded. They went into the bedroom. Roger bagged his dick as Craig lay down and lubed up. Craig spread and raised his legs. His anxiety returned. Roger's body looked so powerful. Roger slowly moved his dick around Craig's butt hole. He very slowly moved inside of him. They stared at each other. Craig nodded and smiled. Roger leaning on his elbows began to gently fuck Craig. Craig smiled as he played with his dick. Roger rolled them both onto their sides facing each other. He lay between Craig's legs with Craig's legs around his waist. He held Craig close to him and he began to thrust. Craig held Roger and began kissing him. They were no longer having sex. They were making love and Roger knew it. They lay holding each other, fucking and kissing. Roger held Craig tightly but tenderly. Craig felt safe in Roger's arms as Roger thrust deep into him. Craig whispered, "Fuck me, I really like it, really. Go ahead and fuck me. I don't feel scared anymore." Roger held Craig and kept thrusting. Craig used his leg to gain a footing and then pushed to roll Roger on top of him. "Fuck me, fuck me like I fucked you." Roger began thrust harder and harder as his orgasm became inevitable. He dung his feet into the mattress and pushed so hard he moved them both forward on the bed. "Oh yeah, fuck me, Roger." Roger let out a groan that was probably heard in Paradise. His body tensed. He began to thrash around on top of Craig. Craig held on to Roger tightly. Roger collapsed on top of Craig. They kissed. As they lay holding each other, Craig said laughingly, "Man, you can really fuck." Roger laughed. "You certainly have a way with words." "I think that's going to be my first fuck. Yeah, last time wasn't really a fuck. That was my first fuck and I'm always going to remember that one." Roger laughed. "When you're ready I'm going to fuck you like that. Okay?" "It's more than okay?" Roger said. "But, I need a drink of water. How about you?" he asked, as he stepped out of bed and removed his condom. Craig followed him. Craig fucked Roger twice before they went to sleep that night, and he talked Roger into fucking him again. The next morning Craig had oral sex with Roger and then fucked him. Again, it was time to leave, and again, Craig was sad. They hugged and kissed before they left the cabin. Craig said, "I feel so sad," as he began to cry. "I was so scared and I thought I was going to die but it turned out to be the best time I've ever had. I've never known a person like you." He held onto Roger tightly as he cried. Roger held Craig. "I've enjoyed becoming your friend. I'm hoping that you've learned more than just how to have sex." Craig smiled. "Great sex," and laughed with tears in his eyes. "I'm going to try out. I promised and I'm going to get the part." Roger drove Craig to his car and then towed him out of the ditch. Roger followed Craig to the state road and pointed the way. Craig pulled to the side of the road and got out of his car. He walked up to Roger and said, "I'm not going to be scared about trying out for the show. I really want to do it," as he began to cry again. "I really want to do it." Tears rolled down his cheeks. "You're the best friend I've ever had." Roger smiled and nodded. He could not speak. "It's weird, I feel so happy that I met you and I feel so sad. It's deep down here," he said pointing to his heart. He leaned in the car and kissed Roger. Roger kissed him back. Craig turned and got in his car and drove off. Roger sat in his car and watched Craig turn on to the State Road 86. Tears rolled down his cheeks. He, too, felt that pain deep down in his chest. In May of that year, Roger received an envelop containing an announcement, a letter and a ticket. The ticket was for the first Saturday night in June for Cabaret starring Craig Bigalow. The flier explained that the show was being performed on Friday and Saturday nights for six weeks, starting the first weekend in June. Craig explained that his mother would be attending the opening on Friday night, but that he had plans to spend weekends in town and hoped Roger could attend. Craig wrote, "Remember your promise." Roger smiled. He called and made reservations at a hotel in town. Later he called back and made reservations for each Saturday night the musical would be performed. Then he called the box office and bought the tickets. He hung up his phone and smiled as he glanced through the images of Craig that he had chosen to have printed and to show him. He wrote Craig note that said, Of course, I remember my promise and I was hoping that you would, also. I'm counting the days. Roger