Dating Rules And Pretty Fools – Ch. 1
By Laura S. Fox
Copyright © 2023 Laura S. Fox
All Rights Reserved
Gay Erotica
Intended for Mature Audiences Only
This story will contain graphic depictions of sexual intercourse, strong
language and it is not meant for readers who are less than 18 years of age.
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Summary:
To have someone to love
is one of life's greatest gifts, his grandma used to say. However, what grandma
didn't know, and Otis didn't have the heart to tell her, was that getting there
in this day and age required going through a painful phase called dating.
Something he's not very good at, to put it lightly.
However, when someone
moves into an apartment a few doors down from his, Otis begins to see the
proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. Because, based on the impressive
number of young men going in and out that place, inhabited by an impressive man
displaying equally impressive sleeve tattoos on both arms, that must be someone
who knows an awful lot about dating.
Otis wants a bit of
advice. Just a bit.
Chapter One – The Ugly
Duckling
One of the stories he'd
enjoyed the most as a kid – and grandma always obliged him by reading it to him
on the days when he felt sick and missed school – was that of the ugly duckling
turning into a beautiful swan. The ardent question on his mind had always been
if such things happened in real life. Could an ugly duckling turn into a
beautiful swan? Grandma never really answered that question. She just caressed
his hair and kissed his forehead, to check if his fever had finally gone down, her
kind smile never leaving her face.
Well, as an adult, he
knew the answer to that one. Things rarely changed, and, if they did, they took
a significant amount of work. Otis stared into the mirror and painstakingly
arranged the long bangs of his hair so they fell over his left eye, to obscure
the fact that it was smaller than the right one. Plastic surgery could do a lot
of things today, wondrous things, but fixing that kind of defect wasn't on the
list, or at least his research had led nowhere on that particular topic. Not that
he had the money necessary for such complex procedures anyway, but it felt good
to dream that fixing his face was a possibility.
He sighed as he finally
managed to make his straight hair settle into some kind of draping over his
smaller eye. The color of his hair didn't help the overall effect of his face
on people, either. It always looked like a hair-dyeing appointment at the salon
was long overdue. Otis had never set foot in one of those, but that didn't make
it less worrisome that the roots of his mane always remained dark, while the
rest of it was an unnatural – that was what people called it – dirty ash blond.
After reading dozens of magazines abounding in beauty advice, he had ended up
more dumbfounded than before. Maybe all that advice didn't apply to men.
And his strange light
blue irises were surrounded by such dark limbal rings
that whenever he stared too long at someone – or just looked at them with no
particular interest – people just averted their eyes as if he intended to curse
them or something. That staring habit of his had gotten him into plenty of
trouble in school, and teachers had warned him that people would start calling
him weird if he didn't cut it out. Apparently, he didn't need to blink as much
as normal people. He tried to remember that himself and blink intentionally, as
often as possible.
He shrugged and pulled
his shoulders back, but good posture didn't fix the fact that he had almost no
meat on his bones. Any clothes he wore ended up looking like they were hanging
on a hanger. People complained about body fat percentage and whatnot, but was
there such a thing as a meat percentage? He would have to look that up online,
but later. Now, he needed to bring out the last of his grandma's things from
the old place that had been in storage since forever.
***
The delivery man was
already waiting outside and gave him a short, annoyed look while mumbling
something under his breath. He handed Otis the tablet to sign for receiving the
items, threw another look around, this time a disgusted one, and got back into
his vehicle, leaving him on the sidewalk with a white credenza, a large mirror,
and a handbag full of personal items. Otis considered his predicament for a
little bit, but then, as always, came up with a solution. He wrapped the rope
he had come equipped with through the spaces in the ornate frame of the mirror,
the one his grandma had loved so much, and created a harness. Stepping into it
carefully, he finally hiked the mirror up on his back, and then grabbed the
handbag. That left him with only one hand for the credenza. He could just drag
it along. As long as he got everything into the elevator, he would be fine.
Getting back into the
building seemed like a real adventure, though. On more than one occasion, he
feared that he might turn the beautiful mirror into many useless pieces, and
while breaking pots and plates was a sign of good luck in some cultures, it
appeared that breaking a mirror was in the exactly opposite category for most
people.
He noticed that there was
someone already waiting in front of the elevator. A man, at least six foot
three tall, and his body obviously possessing an optimal meat percentage. And
the meat was well shaped and, as far as one could tell from a distance, covered
with tattoos. On both arms. He wore a tight white t-shirt and regular cut jeans
that hung on his hips just right. Otis looked at him from behind and then
noticed the earbuds. The man was probably listening to music or podcasts. He
was probably bettering himself right now by listening to self-improvement
advice. His hair was cut short and close to the head, and Otis admired the
shape of the back of his head, too. He shivered just imagining how it would
feel to move his hand over that short dark hair. Would it be like petting a
shorthair cat?
The elevator arrived at
the ground floor and the doors opened. The man stepped inside, absorbed in his self-improvement
book, and turned, allowing Otis an unimpeded view of his front, too. The tight
white t-shirt stretched over a chiseled chest – words like chiseled made Otis's
tongue feel funny, slightly ticklish – and his abdomen looked flat, not skinny.
What was that expression? Washboard abs? Otis didn't like it much. He didn't
see himself rubbing soapy laundry over that man's abdomen. Or anyone else's,
for that matter.
The man's was frowning in
thought, but he had a very admirable face. His jawline was square, as it should
be, and he had a straight nose and thick, dark eyebrows. Everything on that
face was intense, strong, remarkable.
Otis continued to watch
as the man reached for the control panel without looking at what he was doing.
That had to be a very interesting podcast or book. Just as the doors began to
close, the man looked up and saw Otis standing there. His brows unfurrowed into an expression of surprise, and now they
were visible his eyes were revealed to be almost as dark as the hair on his
head. He quickly shot one arm forward and stopped the doors from closing. Then,
he touched one of his earbuds. "Hello there. Are you coming?" he asked in a
deep rough voice.
That was another thing
Otis found ticklish – voices like that. They were mesmerizing voices, indeed.
The man waved his free
hand. "Hello?" he called out loudly.
Otis shook his head. The
man was talking to him, obviously. "Yes, thank you," he shouted back, just as
loudly.
One of the dark thick
eyebrows quirked in question. "Just moving in?"
Otis began his march
while dragging the credenza after him, as the man half-stepped outside to hold
the door and make room for him to get inside. "No. I just had some beautiful
things I needed to bring in."
"Let me help you," the
stranger offered, and when he moved, Otis caught a glimpse of his neck.
He touched his self-consciously.
In that respect, he was something of a crane, and a crane was a far shot from a beautiful swan, while this man... well, this
man had the strong neck of a beautiful mammal, like a horse or something
similar.
The man quickly moved the
credenza inside first and took the handbag from Otis, placing it on top. He
then stopped and threw Otis an odd look. It had to be because of the mirror and
the way it hung on his back, but, at this point, he couldn't help it. He
slipped inside, brushing unwittingly against the stranger. Now that he was in,
it appeared that there wasn't any room left, but the stranger didn't seem to
care and pushed Otis gently but firmly against the credenza until the doors
closed behind him.
"What floor?"
Grandma always said that being
polite opened doors, so Otis decided to show that he knew how to do that. "I'm
imposing," he said. "Please, let's go to your floor first."
It was difficult to carry
on a conversation like that because he was staring directly at the man's
throat. To look him in the eye wasn't exactly an option because he would have
to tip his head back a lot.
"No," the stranger said
shortly. "Your floor?"
"Fifth," Otis said,
deciding not to insist since every moment spent like this, cramped and
inadvertently touching each other, was a moment that was not good for his
overall state of mind.
"What a coincidence.
That's also my floor. Also, you'll need help getting that out."
What a nice young man,
his grandma would say. "Thank you. You are a nice young man," he said.
Hot air blew over the
crown of his head, disturbing the bangs covering his smaller eye. The man had
sighed, and it was not clear what he could mean by that. Was he annoyed by having
to go up to his floor, cramped like that? Otis looked down by reflex.
"And what are you?
Eighty?" the man asked in his gruff pleasant voice.
"I am twenty-two," Otis
replied.
"Then, you're the young
man here," the man commented. "We're here."
The elevator doors
opened. Otis allowed the stranger to handle his belongings while he held the
doors open.
"What's the number of
your apartment?" the stranger asked.
Otis felt himself
stiffen. Grandma was also adamant about not giving out personal information to
strangers, mainly because there were so many scammers in this world. However,
she also said that there were also plenty of nice people, and this tattooed man
seemed to belong to the latter group. "508," he said, as soon as his deliberations
regarding the stranger's intentions were over.
Without being asked, the
man took it upon himself to take the credenza in his arms and carry it to
Otis's door. He placed it down carefully and then gestured for the mirror, too.
"Should I take that from you?"
"No, it's okay," Otis
said. "You've done enough already for a stranger, which I am to you." He
couldn't quite get over the fact that he had annoyed the other somehow, the way
he had made him sigh while they were riding the elevator. That meant he
couldn't expect any more favors or else he'd be in trouble soon. People always
got annoyed when asked for too much, and Otis had to be especially careful about
such things.
The man surprised him by
offering his hand. "Then how about we stop being strangers? I'm Hudson. And I
just moved into 505 two days ago."
"Hudson, like the river,"
Otis said. He realized a little too late that Hudson was still holding out his
hand and shook it awkwardly. He began with a limp hand and was very much aware
of how damp it was, too, and then he remembered that people appreciated a firm handshake.
Therefore, he squeezed his neighbor's hand tightly.
Hudson laughed. "Ouch.
Now that's a strong grip. Do you have a name?"
"Otis. Like the
elevator." Hudson hadn't given him his last name, so he wouldn't either. Imitating
others in social situations was a good strategy to make sure that he didn't do
something that wasn't sanctioned by the general population.
"Okay, Otis, have a nice
day." Hudson gave him another smile, the kind that made a dimple appear in his
right cheek and made Otis stare a lot more than necessary, just because it was
asymmetric, and there was no dimple in the left cheek too.
He took out his key
quickly, feeling a bit hot and needing to get inside, away from those dark and,
at least as they seemed to him, inquisitive eyes.
***
Hudson took another look
at the young man fiddling with his keys and fumbling his way inside the
apartment, and shook his head for a moment. He wasn't here to fraternize with
the neighbors, but he couldn't act like he didn't want to know anyone there, or
at least that was the justification he was giving himself. That was one
odd-looking kid. Not in a bad or repulsive way but, quite the contrary, in a way
that made you look a second time even if you met him out in the street by
accident. Was he a model? Yeah, right. That rundown building was a nest to
people of all kinds, but runway models didn't fit the bill.
Maybe no one had scouted
him yet, but it should happen any day now, Hudson mused as he let himself
inside his apartment for now. Otis was skinny enough to be a model, but that
wasn't the striking thing about him. No, the most striking thing about him was
the color of his eyes... of the eye, because Otis wore his hair over half his
face, and that was all that Hudson had managed to see. That eye reminded him of
Zeus, his Siberian Husky, who had to be relocated for the duration of his
undercover mission since keeping him here, in this dingy apartment, wasn't an
option.
The boy's eye was the
same shade of blue, and the black ring around it contributed to its striking
quality. He wasn't a boy, Hudson reminded himself. Otis had been quite adamant
about telling him his age. Also, he had the manners of an old person, another
odd thing about him. It was a wonder he hadn't smashed that mirror on his way
into the building, and Hudson had kept an eye on it the whole time.
He shrugged. He wasn't
here to get an eyeful of the would-be model living a few doors away from him. Or
play the Good Samaritan, although, it appeared that he couldn't exactly help it
when there was someone genuinely in need of assistance.
His phone beeped. He
picked it up right away while taking off his earbuds. "Yeah?" he asked roughly.
"This is the last time
I'm calling you until you're finished," his captain, who was also a close
friend, began. "Is there anything else you need before getting started?"
"How's Zeus doing?" His
captain had taken Zeus in, without one moment of hesitation.
"The girls love him. He
loves them back. I'm afraid you won't have a dog anymore if you take too long
with this mission."
"Thanks for the
motivation, captain," Hudson said with half a smile. "Why did I agree to do
this again?"
"I'd say it's because you
need the paycheck, but that's not everything. You're the only guy in the entire
department with the stomach for it, West."
Hudson snorted. "What you're
really saying is that I'm the only guy in your department who won't have
trouble staring at naked men all day long."
"That, too," the captain
admitted. "So, any prospects so far? You know what we're looking for. Foreign,
not too many friends, no actual job history, no means to call for help. These
are their targets, and we need to identify leads, too."
For some unfathomable
reason, Hudson's mind drifted to the odd-looking young man in 508. He seemed
lonely, too. Again, he shook away the recent memory that kept coming back to
him. It wasn't like him to dwell on things that weren't important to the task
at hand. He was a master of focus.
Apparently, not so much
when a striking blue eye was staring at him like its owner was trying to find a
way inside his soul.
"Have a heart, captain.
I'm just setting up shop. I did place the ads. Anyone who needs to turn a quick
buck is going to come knocking on my door."
"Okay, I'll leave you to
it. Get to the bottom of this, and I think there might be a promotion in store
for you."
"Don't tell me you plan
to retire," Hudson joked. "I don't want your chair. It already sags and has at
least a few screws loose."
"Yeah, yeah, call me old
and fat one more time." The captain laughed. After a moment, his voice turned
serious again. "Don't let it get to you, okay? Don't make it personal."
"Hey, you said I was the
only guy in your department with the stomach for this. Have a little faith."
"I also know there's a
heart in there," the captain continued, his voice turning kind. "That's why I
need to remind you that some things might be out of your control."
"A few, maybe," Hudson
said. "But most of them can and will be in my control. I'll be fighting tooth
and nail for it."
"I don't doubt it. Good
luck hunting," the captain wished him before cutting off the convo.
Hudson took the phone
apart with calm hands. From now on, he'd use a different phone and completely assume
his new identity, that of a shady photographer looking for young men willing to
pose in racy getups for a market with particular tastes. Ever since they had
learned about the seemingly new human trafficking ring operating in the area,
and a few bodies had turned up, the captain and a handful of detectives had
been hard at work to find a way to infiltrate it and catch the bastards who had
such a lack of empathy for human life that they used young people for the sick
entertainment of others, just for the sake of money.
He brushed one hand over
his eyes. The captain was right when he asked him not to make it personal. Just
seeing what had been done to those young men, how much they had endured before
their lives were cut short, had filled him with the sort of cold rage that
never died out completely. The captain had also been right to choose him for
the job, because now he was like a bloodhound with the promise of prey etched
in his brain. He wouldn't stop until he took down that ring of human
traffickers and put the ones responsible behind bars for good.
He sat on the couch with his
laptop on his knees. For the sake of seeming to be the real thing, he had set
up a site, and it looked like he had a few messages already. That meant he was
starting.
***
Otis followed the words
on the screen with his finger. "Date more than one person at a time," he
murmured and frowned in thought. He had trouble getting one date, and the first
rule was that he needed to date more than one man? He'd installed all the
dating apps, but after that, he had started removing one after another, as some
pictures he had seen there were too intimidating to even look at them for a
second time.
He continued his research
while lying on his belly on the bed. The credenza had taken up some valuable
space, but it was one of the few things he still had from his grandma, which
meant that sacrificing a bit of space wasn't an impossible feat. "Be
authentic," he continued to read. Now that was another difficult thing to do.
Being authentic, in his case, made people nervous. Sometimes, it made them
laugh, but it wasn't the nice kind of laugh, and Otis could tell they were
laughing at him, not with him. His intelligence was at least average, and he
knew how to recognize the signs.
He turned his phone with
its face down and then closed his eyes, his head resting on his right arm.
"Grandma, I do want someone to love, but it's hard," he said out loud, as he'd
started to do since he had been left all alone in the world. "Dating is
difficult in the twenty-first century. First, a machine has to find a match for
you. I did swipe right, but I believe that I've ended up talking with all the
bots on each app. Bots are like fake people," he explained, since his grandma
had a hard time keeping up with technology.
Today, he didn't have a
lot of things to report to her. After all, not much had happened... but that wasn't
true. He turned on his back and linked his hands over his belly. "I brought
home your credenza. It looks really nice in the corner. It lights up the room."
There was no point in telling her that there was barely any space left for him
to move around in because of it. The mirror was in the hallway, causing its own
kind of trouble. But it had been her who had taught him that white lies were
good at times, and he was just telling one of those now.
"Ah, and there was a very
nice young man in the elevator who helped me," he said, excited to tell her
about Hudson. Suddenly, his dejected mood improved. "He did not appear to enjoy
being called a young man, although he didn't seem older than thirty to me. His
name is Hudson, and he lives in 505, just a few doors away from me." He
hesitated, but in this case, not saying anything meant that he would be lying
about something important. "He has tattoos on both arms. They're really
impressive. And he has what you would call a brusque manner at times. However,
he helped me by carrying the credenza to my door. Also, his smile is beautiful,
and he has a dimple on his right cheek... it's not symmetric at all, but it
didn't look strange or anything." His grandma would scold him if he admitted
how obsessed he was with symmetry in the human face, so he stopped there.
"I still have trouble
getting a date. Besides talking to those fake people online, it seems that when
I talk to others they also think that I'm a fake person, and then they want my
phone number, and I don't want to give that to someone who assumes that I'm not
real." He sighed at the end of his tirade. "I need someone to teach me how to
date. I'm not capable of figuring it out myself, even with the information
readily available on the Internet. It just doesn't work."
With that thought, he
drifted off to sleep. He'd see about the mirror later. Now, he had several
hours left until his shift started, and being well-rested was important for a
good and healthy life, just as his grandma had taught him.
His sleep soon turned
into a world of dreams, and Otis saw himself moving down a winding slope, only
to realize that it was a green serpent that reminded him of the tattoos he'd
seen on his neighbor's forearm. What a silly dream, he told himself as he was
dreaming, but silly dreams could also be funny, so he didn't mind them at all.
***
He was busy wiping
glasses and putting them back in their places, so he missed someone calling for
him. Usually, when he was working, he was as good as invisible, and being that
was a good thing. There was no one to make uncomfortable with his stares and
strange appearance.
His manager, a man in his
forties, with a big belly, eventually had to pat him on the shoulder to get his
attention.
"Yes, Mr. Smith," he said
dutifully. "How may I be of service?"
He hoped Mr. Smith didn't
plan on firing him, because he needed each of the three part-time jobs he was
keeping to pay the rent and for all of life's necessities. His grandma had
taught him how to be content with little, but sometimes, it was hard,
especially when he saw something he liked, such as tiny glass figurines.
"What would you say," Mr.
Smith said slowly, as he usually did when talking to Otis, "if we send you out
on the floor to wait on tables, too?"
Otis took his time to
reply. That was the equivalent of a promotion, but did Mr. Smith understand
that, maybe it wasn't a good idea to put him out in front of clients? "I am
happy where I am, Mr. Smith," he said.
His manager sighed and
ran a hand through his thinning hair. "Jerry pulled a no-show on us tonight.
Missy will show you what to do, and she'll be close all the time."
"Do you want me to start
right now? For how long? Jerry will be back."
"Or not," Mr. Smith said
with a shrug. "Look, Otis, you are very polite and you do each task well. I'm
sure you will do fine. Missy is going to show you the ropes." He turned to leave
but then looked at Otis again. "Just push that hair out of your eyes. It will
strain your sight if you're not careful."
Otis didn't say a word
and touched his hair protectively. Mr. Smith's demands were, sometimes,
difficult. With reluctance, he brushed his hair back over his head. He would
try not to stare at the customers too much so that they wouldn't be put off by
his asymmetric eyes. And, hopefully, he wouldn't end up making a mess out of
their orders.
***
"You know, you are a lot
more helpful than that asshole Jerry," Missy, his colleague, said as they began
wiping down the tables. "And, I have no idea if you swing that way, but the man
at table three, you know, the one in the expensive suit, asked about you."
Otis didn't remember any
man. He had kept his eyes averted at all times, intent on not staring and
making customers uncomfortable. Mr. Smith ran a respectable restaurant, and
Otis was happy to work there, because it paid the most of his three part-time
jobs. However, as respectable as the restaurant was, it wasn't the kind to
warrant the presence of someone in an expensive suit. "What did he ask?"
"If you've worked here
long, if you're looking for something else, things like that. He might want to
hire you."
"Hire me as what?" Otis
asked, puzzled. What could men in expensive suits want with him? He only knew
how to clean and perform menial tasks.
Missy looked at him and
burst into laughter. She pinched Otis's cheek. "Arm candy, what else? Don't
worry, I told him we're not that kind of place."
Arm candy was an odd term
that described beautiful people who accompanied others who liked having such
attractive individuals by their side for the sake of beautiful photos. So,
Missy was joking. Also, she had said a truth; the restaurant didn't sell or rent
arm candies.
"You are right," he told
the woman politely. It wasn't nice of her to tease him, but she always seemed
nice, and had a good hearty laugh, so Otis wouldn't hold a thing like that
against her.
"I'm telling you, he
didn't seem pleased," Missy continued while energetically wiping down one
table. "And he left a measly tip if you can believe it. Cheapskate. Otis, I'm
telling you. Stay away from assholes like that. They parade their clothes and
car and bling just to get your attention, and then they ask you to go Dutch if
you say that you aren't going to go down on them on the first date."
Missy had a considerable
list of disastrous dates under her belt, so Otis knew that he couldn't go to
her for advice. If anything, she appeared to struggle just as much as he did.
However, she was considerably advanced in her efforts to try to get a date,
since she didn't talk to bots on the Internet like him.
"What does an ideal date
look like to you?" he asked, partially out of politeness and partially out of
curiosity.
Missy laughed. She did
that a lot. She sounded like a very happy person. Also, the huge red mane on
her head made her stand out. Otis would be terrified to stand out so much. It
didn't appear to bother her, however. "I suppose it would be one at the end of
which the guy doesn't expect a blow job as payment for a tepid beer and a
couple of burritos."
Otis felt his face
getting hot. He knew the term blow job, as well. It meant oral sex, and it was
the kind of thing that made him uncomfortable in a way that caused a terrible
shame to creep in. He had watched some videos. They had been enough to convince
him that it was a very pleasurable activity. However, it also seemed to be
something undesirable. Missy, for instance, didn't want to do it, and, from what
she was saying, offering a blow job would make her seem cheap, something she
wasn't. Otis wanted to tell her that people didn't come with price tags, but he
had learned to keep his mouth shut more often than not. Like his stares,
whatever came out of it also made people laugh at him, or, at least,
uncomfortable.
"What about you?" Missy
suddenly asked, turning her attention to him.
He grabbed his hair and
pulled it over his eye. Since Mr. Smith had gone home already, there was no
need for him to protect his eyesight by exposing his asymmetric eyes to the
world.
His silence didn't seem
to please his coworker. Missy came near and, much to his dismay, brushed away his
hair, sweeping it back. "Any girlfriend? Boyfriend?" she asked with a large
smile.
"No boyfriend," he said
quickly. "A girlfriend wouldn't suit me."
"Go figure. That guy's
gaydar worked just fine. Too bad he was a cheap bastard," Missy commented. "Why
no boyfriend?"
"I am actively looking."
That was more of a grey lie. He was trying to be active in looking. So far, it
hadn't worked.
"I see. What are you
using? Grindr?" Otis shook his head. He must have looked horrified enough
because Missy laughed. "Yeah, you don't look like the type. For a while, I
thought you might be some religious nut, a cute one, but still. Your clothes
are so prim and proper. However, it looks like they're not enough to keep the
interested at bay." She winked at him, although Otis didn't know what she meant
by that.
"I end up talking to fake
people," Otis blurted out. He had meant to say `bots', but that had been the
first thing that had come to his mind.
"You're telling me?" Missy
said with a snort. "The world is full of them."
So, he wasn't the only
one who had that problem. That was a relief. "Do you happen to know anyone who
offers dating advice?" he asked.
"I don't trust those
bozos with their podcasts and whatnot," Missy said and tsked in disapproval.
"The best way to get good advice is from someone real, someone you know,
someone you can talk to, face to face. My girlfriends are also in the same boat
as me, though. And my mom used to date in completely different times, so she's
no use. My big sis is pregnant with her third. That's from her fourth beau,
though. As you can see, dating experts are in short supply in my world."
Missy was right, once
more. He needed to find someone with experience in the real world of dating,
not read articles on the Internet. His mind took him to his new neighbor. Did
he swing that way, as Missy put it? If he did, he looked like someone who'd
have no trouble getting a date, Otis thought.
He continued wiping the
table in front of him. It was worth keeping an eye on his neighbor. Just to see
if he swung that way, at least.
TBC