Introduction
I welcome feedback from readers, in fact I thrive on it.
This story is radically different from what I usually write. There
are no magic or supernatural elements, and there are no Dominant/Submissive
relationships. This is a story about an older man and a younger man who fall in
love. Both are adults. The story starts slow but will build up to more detailed
sexual situations soon.
I have written three chapters so far and plan to publish one chapter
every month.
Please remember that NIFTY is a free site that provides an
invaluable resource for men like us. Please consider donating to help
ensure that site remains available for everyone. https://donate.nifty.org/
You can contact me at pseudonominius@gmail.com.
Author's Notes
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I have created a
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view the member list, so data should be secure. If a reader sends a question my
way, I will post the answer to that group after removing any information about
the reader. It's a good way to get more background information if you
want. https://groups.google.com/g/pseudominius-stories
·
This type of story is
new to me. I welcome your feedback, but this story is a new LBGTQ genre for
me so please be gentle.
My
Stories
Desert Heat Chapter 1 (A Blossom in the
Dessert)
Matty
College had turned out more difficult than I'd imagined, but it
wasn't because of the academic load. I'd been an almost straight A student in
high school, and I was as prepared as I could have been. Sure, everything was
taught at a higher level and the classes moved much faster than I was used to,
but I didn't mind homework and I'd always loved learning new things.
No, there were two other issues that made college hard for me. The
first was that I was gay, a virgin, and hiding in the closet. My mom didn't know,
and I had no idea how she would take it. She'd become increasingly religious
after my dad died. None of the rest of the family knew either, which was
probably a good thing because we lived with my uncle, and he didn't try to hide
his racism or his homophobia. Somewhere at the back of my head I had the idea
that I would be able to come out and finally find someone to be with once I was
in college, but that that hadn't happened.
I couldn't get away from my family, even if I wanted to do. I didn't
have the money. My mom lived about forty miles away, but I was sharing a
one-bedroom apartment with my cousin Jimmy. I had enough scholarships and
grants to cover tuition and books, with a little left over for living expenses
so long as I kept it basic. Jimmy had mostly loans because his grades hadn't
been as good as mine. Neither of us had money left over for a dorm. The
apartment wasn't too expensive because it was a one-bedroom unit two miles from
campus and it was about a quarter mile from a useful bus stop. Uncle Jake was
covering most of the rent, although mom said she was helping.
And this was the second problem. The semester had started well,
but it had taken Jimmy only four weeks to make friends, the wrong sort of
friends. At first the partying had only been on weekends, but over the last two
weeks it had begun to spread to nights during the week as well. And it was
getting difficult to study.
I'd taken to studying at the pool because there were some tables
with umbrellas there and it was away from the reek of pot smoke and the noise. Of
course, the pool wasn't the best environment either. It was too distracting
because of the swimmers. There were a few hot guys my age in this complex, but
the most distracting wasn't a guy my age at all. It was an older guy. I didn't
know how old he was, but he was in amazingly good shape, with rippling muscles
underneath a coating of very manly hair on his chest, legs, and arms. There was
a little on his back as well, but that didn't make him any less sexy in my eyes.
His skin was darker than mine, and he looked Latino to me. His skin was light
brown, and his hair was black with a few strands of silver at the temples. His
moustache was also black. I'd seen him once going to work in his tight cop
uniform and he'd been clean shaven, except for the moustache, but when he came
home, he had the dark shadow of beard across his face.
I always moved seats so that I could see him in the pool over the screen
of my laptop. I felt guilty because sometimes I set my phone up in its stand
and recorded him while he swam. When he got out of the pool, I would hurriedly
turn off the camera and pretend innocence as he walked by me to lay out on a
pool chair to dry off. I always got hard watching him and I would later
masturbate in the shower thinking of him.
Nando
I'd lived at the same apartment complex for the last six years,
ever since my wife had thrown me out and served me papers for divorce. I'd had
it coming. I realized that I was bisexual back at the police academy, after I'd
already been married to Natalia for three years, but I had taken vows to be
faithful. It shouldn't have mattered that I was attracted to both men and
women. I could have remained true to my vows. I probably should have, but I
justified it in my mind by saying that I wasn't messing around with other
women. The first time she'd caught me, we'd had a big fight and she made me go
to counseling at the church. I promised never to do it again, but that time
hadn't been the first, or the second, or even the tenth time I'd done it. I
decided to be more careful in the future. And I was. She didn't catch me again
for another eight years.
Now I lived alone and sent much of my income to her to support the
kids. I didn't resent it. They were my kids too. Now Maria was twenty years old
and married, and Johnny was nineteen and just starting college. He lived with
some older friends near the college. His name was Juan, but he preferred
Johnny.
Only Carlos remained at home. Natalia's second husband kept trying
to adopt him, but I refused even though it meant that I still had to pay
support. He was my son, and I didn't want to give up my claim to him or my time
with him. Since she'd moved to the east side of town when she got married, I
only saw him on weekends that I didn't have to work. Soon it wouldn't even be
that. She and her husband were moving to the state capital, a hundred miles
away. I'd be lucky to see him once a month.
That was painful. I'd stayed close to the kids, even though Natalia
had insisted that I not tell them about my lifestyle. I rarely saw Maria.
Since her marriage, she'd become more distant, calling me on my birthday and
occasionally allowing me to take her and her husband out to dinner. I saw
Johnny more often. He'd figured out that I was seeing men since the divorce. He
didn't seem to care, but we didn't really talk about it. I knew he talked to
his friends though; they made references to it a few times when I was over at
his place.
Since I wasn't paying as much child support these days with only
one child still with his mother, I'd been considering moving to a bigger
apartment. Then I saw the boy. I'd never been attracted to someone that young
before. He couldn't have been much older than Johnny. But when I saw him
sitting there at a table doing his homework, I could hardly look away. He was about
four inches shorter than me, and probably forty to fifty pounds lighter. He was
a cute little güero with eyes like jade and light brown hair that hung past his
collar. It was shaggy, so I thought it was probably more due to the failure to
get a haircut then to a fashion choice.
He seemed deep in thought whenever I looked directly at him, but I
could see him glancing at me whenever he thought I wasn't looking. He was
skinny but cute with his wire frame glasses sliding down his sweaty nose. It
was still over a hundred degrees in the afternoon, even though September was
more than halfway gone.
I'd checked him out. I was a cop, and it was a thing I did when
someone interested me. He lived in the building across the pool from my own
building, in B220. He lived with someone I thought may have been his boyfriend
until I heard the other teen refer to him as "cuz"
one afternoon. That explained why they looked alike, except the other had a
couple of inches on him and had much lighter hair. He was also much less
attractive.
He rode his bike to college, but it was a dirt bike, not a 10-speed
bike like so many of the other college kids had. It was like he'd brought the
bike he had as a kid to college with him. He came out of his apartment to study
in the heat as soon as his cousin's friends started coming over. Their
apartment smelled of pot, but usually only after he left. His cousin called him
"Matty", and he called his cousin "Jimmy". It didn't look like they were best
friends, but they got along passably well.
I wanted to get to know him better, but I was twice his age and I
thought it would be a little creepy. I knew that I felt like a dirty old man
when I lay in my bed, thinking of him while I stroked my cock. I wondered what
he looked like under his clothes. Did he have a big dick or was it small? Was
his butt as round as it seemed through his jeans? Was he a bashful and modest
boy or did he turn slutty when he was alone with his lovers?
It would be the second to last week in September before the
opportunity arose to talk to him.
Matty
I had two exams on Monday, and I needed to be able to study. You'd
think that Jimmy could give me a few hours at least to prepare for the first
major tests of my freshman year, one in Calculus and another in US History. You'd
think that he'd spend some more time studying as well. He'd let slip that his
grades weren't very good on the quizzes he'd taken so far. And his friends were
worse, especially Josh. All of them had come over Friday night and several had
spent the night sprawled in the living room, but not Josh. He'd come into the
single bedroom in the apartment and crawled into bed with me. He'd been drunk
and had refused to get out when I tried to make him. Jimmy was passed out on the
top bunk and didn't hear him. I had nowhere to go, and Josh fell asleep right away,
so I finally let it go and slept with him snoring next to me in the single
bunk.
Josh was always trouble. Whenever I wasn't looking, he would smack
my butt and say, "no homo". Last night, he'd followed me into the kitchen and
pressed his crotch against my butt while I was trying to get my ramen out of
the microwave. He wouldn't back up to let me work.
He kept grinding against me and said, "It isn't gay unless you get
turned on. Are you getting turned on Matty?"
Everyone in the family always called me Matty, but it made me feel
uncomfortable when Josh said it. He had a sneer in his voice and his hand
touched my neck. I tried to pull away from him and I dropped the bowl, breaking
it and spilling ramen all over the floor. Josh laughed at me while I cleaned it
up, then he smacked my butt and said, "No homo! At least one of us isn't."
Jimmy must have seen it this time because he said, "Leave him
alone, Josh."
But he was laughing when he said it, and I saw him give his friend
a high five. I left the apartment and rode my bike up to the Taco Bell to get a
couple of burros instead. I couldn't really afford to eat out, but Taco Bell had
the best calorie per dollar count for hungry but poor college students. I'd
just ordered my dinner when officer sexy walked up behind me. (That's what I
called him because I didn't know his name. Sometimes I called him Daddy Cop
instead).
"Let me get that for you," he said, in a deep voice that was as
sexy as his body. "We're neighbors, after all."
"Okay," I squeaked at him.
My dick was getting hard, and I couldn't adjust myself with him
looking at me. In addition to my two bean burros, he ordered a combination with
tacos supreme and a burrito supreme. He ordered me a drink as well. He told me
to sit, and he'd get the food. He brought the drinks over to the table and then
went to the counter to pick up the food.
"I've seen you at the pool," he said as he sat down. "Do you ever
swim or just go there to study?"
"I study most of the time, but I've been in the pool," I said.
He smiled at me and stuck out his hand, introducing himself, "I'm Fernando
Chavez, but my friends call me Nando. Your name's Matty, isn't it?"
"Yes sir," I said, "Matthew Preston."
"Matthew or Matty?" he asked, unwrapping a taco supreme.
"My family calls me Matty," I said. "I tried Matthew in school,
but it doesn't sound like it fits me. It's too long."
"So, Matty it is," he said with a smile, "I think it sounds good
on you."
My breath was caught in my throat. Matty sounded childish to my
ears, but the way he said it seemed to resonate up and down my spine. I delayed
by taking a bite of my bean burro and then a sip of my Dr. Pepper.
"I kind of like that," I replied. "I like the way you say it. It's
like MAH-tee."
He took a drink of his iced tea and said, "I could call you Mateito, but I think you're probably older than you
look."
"I'm eighteen, sir," I replied.
Nando
Eighteen! I thought. He was younger than Johnny, but
probably only by a few months. I felt guilty being so attracted to a boy
younger than my own son, but his polite bashfulness made me shudder with
delight. I rarely ate at Taco Bell. Tucson was a town with small taquerias that
served much better food, but I'd seen him riding his bike into the parking lot and
I'd done a U-turn and followed him in. I was on my own Suzuki Hayabusa instead
of my patrol car because I was heading home from work.
When I saw him counting out change from his pocket, I stepped up
and bought his dinner. He looked frazzled and upset, but this was the best
chance I'd had to talk to him casually. The boy had ordered two bean burros. I
didn't know if he was a vegetarian or if he was just short on cash. I bought
him a drink as well.
We chatted for a while, and I discovered that he was studying
physics and math, so I figured that he must be smart. I also found out that he
was from one of the smaller mining towns north of town and that he was
struggling to keep up with his studies since his cousin liked to have friends over
and they were loud. He knew that I was a police officer, so he avoided any
admission of underage drinking or drug use.
"If it gets too loud, you can always come over and study at my
dining table," I said. "You wouldn't bother me."
"That's nice of you, sir, but I'd hate to cause you any trouble,"
he said.
I started cleaning up the table and said, "If you change your
mind, I'm in apartment C110, so you could look over the pool area and see if it
had calmed down in your apartment before going home."
He blushed and looked down. I could tell from his body's response
that he was both embarrassed and aroused. He took a deep breath and then
swallowed hard. He took the tray from my hands and took over the cleanup.
"Let me do that," he said quietly. "It's the least I can do since
you paid for dinner."
I watched him bus the table and then stand nervously like he was
waiting to be dismissed. I got up and put my hand on his back and walked him
out the restaurant. I wished I'd brought my car, but I seldom drove it unless
it was raining, or I had a passenger.
"I'd give you a ride," I said, "except that you rode your bike,
and I'm on my motorcycle today."
He looked over at my bike and his eyes grew big. I knew how I
could get to know him better.
"Maybe I can give you a ride sometime," I said casually. "We could
just ride around the city, or I could take you someplace more fun, maybe up the
mountain to get out of the heat."
He looked at me, back at the bike, then back at me again. He
must've been afraid of seeming too eager because he blushed again and looked at
my chest instead of my eyes.
"I think I'd like that, sir," he said.
I clapped his back and said, "We'll have to make a date then. In
the meantime, don't forget my offer to study at my place. It's still hot outside."
"Thank you sir," he said.
Then he watched me get onto my bike and ride off before getting on
his bicycle. I went home to get changed. I was going to go to the store and
buys some Dr. Pepper and snack foods that a teen might like. I'd keep it
vegetarian just in case.
Later that night, I lay in my bed thinking of Matty. Mathew was
too much of name for I boy like him. All I wanted right now was a kiss. His
skin was fair, so his lips were dark in comparison. And he'd had only a few sparse
hairs on his chin and upper lip. I wondered how often he had to shave.
It was chuck who'd gotten my mind on this track about smooth twinks.
He was a former coworker who moved away last year. He was thirteen years
younger than me and about my height. We'd worked out together and hooked up
occasionally. He did some modeling work on the side and kept his face and body
shaved, that's why he'd moved to Los Angeles. He'd found an agent who thought
he could get him some acting and modeling jobs. I missed him, and I missed the
feel of smooth cheeks and skin on my body. I'd seen Matty's body, and he had so
little hair on his legs it didn't count.
I wanted to feel his lips on mine, and I wanted to feel his smooth
skin against mine. I pulled my briefs off and touched my seven and half inches.
It sprang to a full erection with only the slightest touch. I let my fingers
graze my cock and imagined it was Matty's light and tentative fingers. A shiver
ran up my spine. Then I took hold of it lightly and stroked it gently. I
imagined that Matty would have a light grip, so that's what I used to stroke
myself.
I brought myself to the edge of orgasm and then backed off. I did
that repeatedly, edging myself for nearly an hour while visualizing all the
images I had in my mind of his cute face and slender body. I'd only seen him in
his swimsuit once, and that image had been seared into my mind; his almost
hairless legs and chest, his pale skin and legs that seemed a little long for
his body.
I could only edge myself for so long. I reached the point where I
had to finish the job or risk a ruined orgasm. I put my free hand to my mouth
and kissed the place where my index and middle finger came together. I could
almost imagine that it was Matty's mouth. My cock exploded, sending ropes of
semen shooting up to land on my chin. When I ate my semen, I imagined that it
was his.
Matty
When I woke up the next morning, Josh was still snoring next to me.
His arms were wrapped around me, and his morning erection was pushing against
my butt. We were both wearing gym shorts so there wasn't a lot of cloth
separating us. I needed to get up and go to the bathroom, so I tried to work my
way out from his embrace without waking him. I didn't need his bullshit this
morning. But just as I thought I was getting out of his arms, he wrapped them
tight around me and pushed his cock against my butt.
"I had the best dream," he whispered in my ear. "There was cute
little bitch pushing her sexy ass on my cock. Then I woke up to see that it was
you. So, what do you say, Matty? Are you going to be my girl this morning and
take care of this for me?"
He pushed his cock harder against me and he squeezed me tight. He
was so close to my ear that I could feel his mouth on my neck, making my skin
crawl. Josh was always creepy, but this morning he was worse.
"Let me go!" I said, still trying to keep my voice down so the
guys sleeping in the living room wouldn't hear and come in to see what was
going on.
"It's only fair," he said, biting my ear. "The way you shake your
little butt at me when you walk, you're nothing but a tease. If you've got me
this worked up, it's your job to take care of it."
"Leave me alone!" I said, rolling around so I could try to get out
of the bunk.
The problem was that now I was facing him and his nasty drunken
morning breath. It was making me sick on my empty stomach. He was holding me
just as tight from this direction, and he was smirking at me. A feeling of
dread settled into my stomach.
"That's not going to happen, bitch," Josh said. "Don't act like
you're a virgin. You can help me out this morning can't you?"
I was blushing and trying to pull away. He saw my reddening food
and said, "God damn! You are a virgin, aren't you?"
"Stop it, or I'll scream," I said as sternly as I could.
"If you scream, I'll tell everyone that I woke up with you playing
with my dick," he said. "Who do you think everyone is going to believe?
Everyone knows that you're a faggot. Everyone has seen how your little
dick gets hard whenever I touch your butt."
"Stop it; please let me go," I begged.
"Let's get one thing straight, bitch," he snarled. "I am going to
fuck you. Since you're a virgin, I'm going to take your cherry. Then I'll train
you up right and turn you out."
I started crying which only made his angry. "Stop crying, bitch.
You're going to get more cock than you know what to do with. Jimmy gave me a
key, so I can stop by any time to pay you a visit. I know his schedule, so I
can be here whenever he's not. You'll be loving it soon enough and begging me
for more."
I couldn't get out of his arms, and I was scared, more frightened
than I'd ever been before. I'd never been beaten as a child because I'd always been
well-behaved, and I'd never been in a fight. Sure, I was gay. Sure, I got hard
when Josh touched my butt. I couldn't help it. I wasn't attracted to him, and
even if I was attracted to him, he shouldn't ... It wasn't right. He was
threatening to rape me. He could probably be caught in the act and somehow make
it seem like it was my fault. I broke down and started sobbing, then I lost
control of my bladder and I started peeing all over myself, all over the bed
and all over him.
"Fuck!" he yelled and jumped back out of the bed.
He sprang to his feet and looked down at his shorts. He'd barely
been moistened, but I was soaked through, and the bed was drenched. Josh's
yelling brought Jimmy back into the room. He looked puzzled.
"Your little faggot cousin just pissed the bed and pissed on me
too," he said. "Loan me some clothes."
Jimmy was shaking his head. He gave me a look of disgust and
walked over to the dresser to grab a pair of his shorts for Josh to wear. I was
too embarrassed to say anything. After throwing a change of clothes to Josh, he
threw me a pair of my shorts to change into.
The thing was that I did wet the bed sometimes as a child. When my
mom and I first moved in with my uncle, I shared a bed. And I did wet the bed and
get him wet. I hadn't done it in a few years, but when I was younger, sometimes
when I was stressed or just too tired to sleep well ,
I just didn't wake up.
"Just get changed Matty," Jimmy said. "And then clean this mess
up. You may as well wash my sheets while you're washing yours."
When my cousin had left the room, Josh pulled his shorts down,
revealing an erect cock that was about seven inches long. He lifted it and let
it let it drop so that it bounced a little. Then he grabbed my shorts and
pulled them down, leaving me naked. I was embarrassed by the smaller size of my
own cock. I never knew how much smaller my dick was than other guys. His was
two inches longer than mine.
Josh leaned forward and kissed me. I hated it, and I hated him,
but my dick started to get harder. Then he took the head of my cock in between
his index finger and his thumb and squeezed it hard. I don't know why but I
fell forward against his chest.
"Don't forget that I am going to fuck you," he said. "I
could say `no homo' but we know that wouldn't be true. I'm going to fuck you a
lot."
He pulled my underwear out of my hands and threw them on the bed. Then
he took all the underwear out of my drawer and put them on the pile. Finally,
he pissed all over them.
"Now put your shorts on and do the laundry," he said.
He laughed as he left the room, and I sank to the floor and cried.
I don't know how long I wept, but I knew that I couldn't go out there into the
living room with all those guys until I'd finished. Once I had no more tears to
give, I gathered everything up and opened the door. In addition to Jimmy and
Josh, there were two more guys in there. They ignored me pointedly when I
walked through with that big bundle of sheets. My underwear was wrapped up
inside them with the pillowcases.
Mike started to say something, but Jimmy hushed him and gave me a
weak smile. He was protecting me, like he had in high school. There was no way
that he knew what Josh was saying and doing to me. After the guys left, I was
going to talk to him. I felt like I was taking deep breath and it was lifting a
weight off my shoulder.
I stayed in the laundry room until everything was washed and
dried. Then I headed back. I still had studying to do this weekend. Back in the
apartment, I saw that Jimmy, Mike and Oscar were dressed and ready to go
somewhere, but Josh was sitting in his gym shorts, lounging on the couch.
Jimmy was smiling. "Mike and Oscar are taking me to a club they
know where they aren't too strict about ID," he said. "I'm going to get laid
this afternoon, but I'll be back for dinner. Josh is going to stay here and
wait for us to get back."
I stood there dumbstruck, my heart racing. "Um, okay," I said with
a smile. "Let me put these in the room and then I'll be back. Don't leave yet."
I ran the clothes into my room and looked around. I didn't have
time to get dressed, so I grabbed my backpack. It had my laptop and my books in
it. I slipped into my flips and went back into the room. Jimmy, Mike, and Oscar
were talking by the door, their backs to me. Josh smiled and made a kissy face.
He mouthed, "I'll keep you company while they're gone."
I moved toward Jimmy and said, "I have to
go study. What time will you be back?"
He looked puzzled and said, "It'll only be Josh here. You can
study in the bedroom, if you want, and he'll stay out here and keep out of your
hair."
I shook my head. "No," I said, "I'm going to meet someone."
He shrugged and let me pass. "Whatever, dude. I'll see you later,"
he said. Then he leaned in and added, "Wish me luck! I haven't gotten laid in a
while."
"Good luck, cuz," I said.
I headed toward the pool, but I didn't stop there. I walked around
it and went to apartment C110. I knocked on the door and hoped for the best. I
needed officer Chavez to be home, and I needed him to have been serious about
his offer. I didn't feel safe at home unless Jimmy was there, especially not
when Josh was – and now Josh had a key.
Nando
When I opened the door and saw Matty standing there, naked except
for his chanclas and his shorts, my heart
jumped into my mouth. He was whiter than normal, and his eyes were wide. I
wasn't going to leave him standing outside another minute.
"Come inside," I said, opening the door wide and making room for
him to pass.
He didn't hesitate. He came inside and stood nervously.
"Were you serious about me studying here," he asked. "I don't feel
... I just can't concentrate at home today."
I took his backpack and placed it on the table, then said, "I was
serious. You can study here whenever you want. But I have a question I need to
ask you. Is there anything you want me to go back to your place and resolve for
you?"
I wanted to say yes. I wanted to tell him all about all about
Josh. He was a cop, and he could arrest him couldn't he? Would he be able to
make anything stick, though? No one ever saw him do anything except smack my
butt. In court, it would be my word against Josh's, and Josh was better at
twisting words than I was. I thought officer Chavez would probably believe me,
but what could he really do about it?
"No sir," he said. "I just can't concentrate over there."
"Okay," I replied. "You can work here. I'm going into my weight
room, just through that door. Come get me if you need anything. You can come in
if you just want to talk."
He moved to the table and muttered a `thank you, sir'. I went to
the refrigerator and got him a can of Dr. Pepper and few cheese sticks.
"If you're hungry, there's plenty of food in the refrigerator and
there's fruit on the counter," I said. "Take whatever you want."
He was looking down at his books while he unpacked them, and I
knew he was hiding something, but it was clear that he didn't want to talk
about it. Not now, maybe he would later. That's the only reason I left him
alone at the table.
My apartment was a two-bedroom unit, like all the units in building
C. I used to keep a bed in here for my sons when they visited. But they were
the one's who asked me to turn it into a weight room so we could work out
together. They volunteered to sleep on the couch. That's why I had two futon
couches in the living room, two extra beds.
I kept thinking about Matty while I was pumping weight. Someone or
something was bothering him enough to get him to come out of his shell far
enough to come to my apartment. I was grateful that he was here, but I was
angry at whoever or whatever was harassing him. It brought out the daddy bear
in me and I wanted to find some way to protect him. After my fantasies of last
night, it was weird to be thinking this way about him. Did I want to be his daddy
or his lover? Since he was an adult and we weren't related, could I be both at
the same time?
I was still working out when Matty came into the room and sat down
in the chair. I finished my set and then took the weights off the bar. I was
waiting for him to say something, but he didn't, not until I finished cleaning
up the bench and sat down on it facing him.
"Can I tell you something?" he asked quietly. "Can I tell you
something without you asking me any questions?"
I put my hand on his knee and said, "You can ask me anything. I
can't promise not to ask any questions because I'm a police officer, but
I will promise not to pry for any information I don't need."
He sat there for a few minutes and stared at the floor. Then he
put his hand on top of mine and said, "I don't feel safe in my apartment right
now. I only feel safe when my cousin is there?"
I didn't want to pry, but I had to ask, "Has anyone hurt you over
there? I need to know if someone has hurt you?"
He shook his head and replied, "No one has hurt me, but there's
someone I don't trust – and I don't want to say the name because there's
nothing anyone can do."
"Is it your cousin Jimmy?" I pressed.
He shook his head and replied, "No sir."
"Is it one of those friends who are always there?" I asked.
He sat in the chair and refused to say anything. I waited for a
couple of minutes, both of us sitting in silence. Finally, I said, "If you
don't want to tell me, I won't pry, but I'm not going to let you feel unsafe in
your own home. When you decide to tell me, then I'll help you figure it out."
I led him back out to the kitchen table and I sat there with him
while he worked on his math homework. I checked my social media and then
chatted with my kids for a while. I didn't have to work, but Carlos was on a
trip to look at the house they were buying. He'd be back later, and I was going
to take him to a movie. Johnny had to spend the weekend studying with his
friends. And Maria was busy with her own young family.
In time, Matty started talking to me. Mostly he talked about his
classes, and I listened. Then he started talking about his high school
experience, about losing his dad when he was a freshman and moving in with his
uncle. He talked about how his cousin had looked out for him when they were in
school together. I could tell that he was hurting. I thought that he was
disappointed that his cousin wasn't protecting him now.
I ordered pizza for dinner. My suspicions were confirmed when he
told me that he liked double mushroom, tomatoes, and basil on his pizza. I
asked if he wanted any meat and he told me that he was a vegetarian. I ordered
him a medium pizza and told him that I would keep it in the fridge for him and
that he needed to come over and eat it. I ordered a supreme for myself.
After dinner I told him, "I must go take my youngest son to the
movies tonight, but I'll be back."
"Okay. I'll go back, sir," he said.
I put a hand on his shoulder and said, "No, that's not necessary.
I'll be back. I'm going to make this couch into a bed, so you can stay here
tonight. I'd rather you didn't go back home until I can walk with you."
He looked up at me and said, "Thank you, sir."
"If we're going to be friends, I need you to start calling me Nando,
okay?" I said.
He smiled and replied, "Thank you, Nando."
I showed him the controls to the firestick and told him not to
leave until I got back. He laid down on the futon and started surfing for something
to watch.
Josh
Little Matty left his phone when he went out earlier, so I expected
him back earlier. He had no way of knowing that Jimmy had gotten lucky and gone
home with a girl. And as soon as he came home, I was going to take his cherry. Once
I did it the first time, he'd come back for more. I more pissed off as it grew
later and later. Around midnight, I realized that he wasn't coming home, so I
went locked the door and went to bed. I was pissed off, but the fact that he
was playing so hard to get made me more excited than ever. I knew where to get
some ketamine, but I didn't want to use it on Matty unless I had to.
Nando
Carlos hadn't seen Shang-Chi yet, so I took him to see it.
We had a good time, but I enjoyed it mostly because it was time with my son. He
was excited to move to Phoenix. I could tell, but I could also tell that he
didn't want to disappoint me. So, I told him that it was okay to be excited
about the move, and that we would just have to make the most of the time we had
available even if it was just one weekend a month. It was good.
We were in a good place when I dropped him off. As he was getting out
of the car, he stopped and looked at me with a serious look in his eyes.
"Dad," he said. "I know that your gay, and that's why you and mom
broke up."
I looked back at him and said, "It's not that simple, Carlito.
I like both women and guys, but I think I do like guys better."
He pulled the door shut and sat there for a moment, then took a
deep breath. "Why did you marry mom, if you knew you liked guys better?"
I put my hand on his shoulder and replied, "I was eighteen when I
married your mom. I didn't know that I liked guys until I met someone at the police
academy. Sometimes we live a lie when we're younger, especially when we're lying
to ourselves."
He stared into the distance for several minutes, then he asked, "Are
you happy now?"
"I'm sad because I don't get to be with you, your brother and your
sister every day, but yeah I think I am happy."
"Do you have a boyfriend, dad?" he asked. "I think you should have
a boyfriend. You shouldn't be alone."
"I have boyfriends," I said, "at least I go on dates."
"You should find someone to move in with you," he said. "My friend
Elena, her dad just got married to guy and she says he's never been happier. We're
moving to Phoenix, and I don't want you to be alone."
"You're a good kid, Carlito," I said. "You don't have to
worry about your old man. I'll be fine."
I gave him a hug and we said goodbye. I had to pull over and cry
for a while on the way back to my apartment, but it was good. Carlos and I
would make it work. I had promised him that he could come over and work out
with me every weekend until he moved if his mom said it was okay. Natalia
didn't hate me anymore. She didn't want to keep Carlos and me apart. He'd be
there. Maybe I'd have the courage to ask Matty out by then and Carlos would see
that I had a boyfriend, a boyfriend barely taller than him and only a few years
older, but still a boyfriend.
When I got home, it was barely 10:30, but Matty was already asleep
on the couch. The firestick was set on YouTube and music videos were playing.
He looked young and peaceful. His glasses were askew on his face. I took them
off and set them on the end table, then I rearranged the sheet over him because
I kept the air conditioning much lower than I should in the desert. I squatted
down next to him and kissed his forehead.
I wanted to carry him into my bed, but I didn't want to move too
fast, and I didn't want to move at all unless he made it clear beyond a shadow
of a doubt that he wanted to. While I was smoothing the hair off his brow, I
saw something white against the red sheet. I picked it up and looked it over.
It was the jock I'd worn while exercising today. I smiled at the boy's handsome
face and then put the jock on his pillow next to his nose. The little horndog
had been sniffing my jock while I was out. I kissed my fingers and pressed them
to his lips before going to my empty bed.