Date: Sun, 17 Mar 2024 17:43:58 +0800
From: Gavin Hurst <gavin_hurst@icloud.com>
Subject: Discovering Firsts Chapter 5

"Matt, what's going on bud. Skipping work, fancy clothes arriving, not
wanting to hang out. It's just not you"

"I'm probably better than I have ever been of late, and I just need you
to trust me. Hopefully I will be able to explain soon. Right now. I need
to get ready. I will talk to you tomorrow"

Pushing Jeff out the door was a huge effort, but once he was gone, I
jumped in the shower and got ready. I was nervous and excited, but
overall, I was willing. Willing to explore. Deep down I was still not
100% of my own identity, but something had certainly changed, and I was
willing to explore it, bit by bit.

Having thrown on some of the new clothes, and the jock, I grabbed my keys
and headed over to the now familiar address in Bel Air. As I stopped at
the gate, I could feel a tremor in my hands as I hit the intercom button,
so much so that I rang it 3 or 4 times.

"Hello" came the familiar voice.

"Hi Jeremy, it's Matt, is Luke home at all."

"No sir he's not. But he did say I may be expecting to you."

The gates opened and I drove the long tree lined drive to the motor court
out the front of the house. Jeremy was standing door side as I
approached.

"Mr Matthew, so good to see you again so soon. Please, come through"

As I followed Jeremy in to the house and to the sun room overlooking the
gardens, he poured me a whiskey and sat it on the table next to me.

"Sometimes a shot of Scotland's finest batch can help settle the
nerves" He said before walking off.

As I sat there alone, I wondered what I was doing. How I had gotten into
this position. I was never one to make rash decisions like this. I was
being irresponsible in my own eyes, and probably in the eyes of everyone
who knew me.

"Well fancy seeing you here" a voice from behind me startled me as I
was deep in thought.

It was Luke, and he had a gentle almost angelic smile on his face.

"Heya you" I said, my eyes cast downwards.

"Want a top up?"

"Not yet, I probably want to talk first, then I'll need a few more" I
said with a grin.

As Luke sat next to me, just close enough that I could feel his presence,
I let out a sigh.

"I am not sure about anything. I am not sure who I am. I am not sure
what I want, and am as sure as hell not sure what you're thinking. What
I do know is that since I was last here, I've wanted to kiss you. I want
to lie naked with you in bed, and I want to feel every inch of your
body"

 Luke sat there with a soft smile on his face, letting the younger man
speak. He was finding it pleasant and comfortable to hear the younger man
speak his mind.

"Why the clothes? What made you buy me all those nice things?"

"Matt, like you, I guess I am lonely. I just wanted to buy you something
to say thank you for the company. Really, all I have is my money. My days
of finding love again are way past."

"Don't say that. You're a good-looking man. Any man would be thrilled
to have you as a partner. I know I would........"

As the words left his lips, he knew he had said the wrong thing.

"I mean, you know, if I was looking of course"

"Of course, I know what you mean. But in this city people only want you
for your money, your access and your status. Trust me, I have seen it all
before"

Matt sat pondering this comment, and it really hadn't crossed his mind
before. Of course, he could see that Luke was wealthy, but he certainly
didn't pay any attention to it, nor did he really care. It was Luke's
company & companionship that he enjoyed.

"Can I have that top now; I think I need a bit of courage to continue on
with what I need to say."

 As Luke raised an eyebrow he got up and walked over to the decanter
Jeremy had placed near by. Pouring a good nip in both glasses and a bit
of ice, he handed Matt his glass.

Looking at it, Matt took a big gulp finishing it off. After a slight
clearing of his throat, he was ready to continue.

"The reason I came here tonight, wasn't just to thank you for the
gifts. It was to ask a favour."

"Oh, go on, anything. Just ask"

"Can we sleep together tonight." Matt said letting it hang out in the
air.

Luke didn't respond, he knew Matt had more to say.

"I mean, what we did the other night was pretty damn good, but I want to
kiss you. I want touch you. I want to feel intimacy not just a quick
blow. I don't know how else to explain it."

Look was touched. He knew where the meaning was coming from. He didn't
want to hurt Matt, but he also didn't need to be hurt himself. Let's be
honest, Matt was an absolutely stunning looking man in and out of
clothes. His body was that of a god, in gay terms he was a natural 11.
Luke was toned, but was showing the signs of aging.

"Matt, there's so many guys out there who would love to do that with
you. Your age, similar shape, interests etc. I just don't want to be
your test run guy. I have feelings and emotions too."

Matt sat looking shattered. He was thinking through what Luke had said,
and realised he had probably explained himself wrong. Backing up, and
trying to express himself more clearly he went in for attempt number 2.

"So I probably fucked up what I was trying to say, so I will try again,
Last night when I got home, I laid in bed watching some gay porn, so I
could understand a bit." Matt realised he was sounding very amateur but
it was the best way he could explain it.

"Anyway as I was going through different scenes none of it was doing
anything for me. It just didn't work. Sure, seeing cocks was nice, I
guess, but it wasn't getting me involved. But, then I came across some
older guy/younger guy stuff. I think they called it daddy porn, and well,
it got me going, and as I closed my eyes, and jerked off, I kept thinking
of you. Not the guys in the video, but you. So I guess, it is you I want
to spend the night with, because it's you. Not because I want a notch on
my belt"

This flawed Luke. The kid had thought it through. Now it was a completely
different story.

Slide across the sofa slightly Luke placed a hand on Matts leg.

"You know, I am scared. What we did the other night was both fun and
terrifying for me as well. I guess the alcohol fuelled it somewhat. I
have not had another man in my bed since I was widowed. To be honest I
have not had any sex since."

Matt felt honoured that Luke shared something so personal, and he was
happy to have Luke's hand on his lap.

It was a simple gesture that meant a lot, and trying to read the room and
hoping he had it right, he placed his hand behind Luke's head and bought
the older man closer to him and kissed him on the lips. At first softly
to see what the response was, and once he knew it was being reciprocated
he delved in to open his mouth and slide his tongue in and taste Luke.

Luke copied his friend and in moments his tongue was darting back in and
out of Matt's mouth. It was everything Matt hoped it would be. Right
now, in this moment, he had never felt more connected to a person than in
this time. Whilst he loved his wife, and he'd never say anything bad,
their sex life was always "by the book" as he had always been taught
that the love between a man and a woman was sacred. This, the sin, the
devil's playground, is what he had missed all his life. He was stepping
in to Nirvana and he knew there was no return.

Luke ran his hands up the inside of Matts shirts and as he lightly
pinched his now firm nipple, it sent a shiver through his entire body,
which caused an involuntary twitching of his now erect and wet cock,
trapped in his pants. Matt was lost, the kissing was great, more than
great, but he didn't know what he was supposed to do now. He'd cracked
first base, but what was second, third? How did he hit a home run?

He wanted to try everything. He just wasn't sure how.

Pulling back, Luke stopped the kissing for a moment. He needed to catch
his breath, and his thoughts.

"Are you OK?" he asked Matt.

"More than you know. I've never felt like this before. Something is
happening to me and I am not sure what, but I like it"

"Good. Well, how about we have a light dinner, and an early night, if
you would like to stay."

"That sounds nice." He said with a smile that had an edge of
tranquillity and peace about it.

Jeremy had prepared a Nicoise Salad and left in the fridge for them, and
as they walked in to the Kitchen, Luke pulled it out and placed it on the
bench as he grabbed some plates, a couple of glass and a bottle of wine.
Soft lights were on in the conservatory where they took their dinner and
sat.

Conversation was light until Matt decided to change his tone. "You know,
I grew up being taught the evils of homosexuality. The sin, the disease,
against God. When I was in college I had heaps of sex, but never really
enjoyed it. It was a part of belonging to the boy's club. When I got
married, I really did love my wife. She was my best friend, but our sex
life wasn't spectacular. I never performed oral sex, she did on me, but
we generally just used to fuck and I would go to sleep feeling guilty. It
never felt natural. But I still loved her, and if she had not died, I
guess we would have had kids and all that. But then tonight, kissing you,
touching you, I was like, yes, this is what it is supposed to feel like.
I wasn't abnormal or immoral. I was connected to another human for the
first time in my life."

It was a lot for Luke to take in. But he was ok. "You know, from what
you have said, and what you are feeling, it would be safe to assume that
you repressed your sexuality and your real feelings to be the person your
family and friends wanted you to be, rather than the person you needed to
be."

It was a lot for Matt to take in, but, he did. As he ate his dinner, and
noticed that Luke had finished, he collected the plates and took them
over to the dishwasher, and as he started to load them, Luke came up
behind him and hugged him.

"Leave that, Jeremy has it taken care of. Grab your glass, this time of
night is my most favourite in the garden. Come, walk with me"

Walking out through a grotto, with ponds and Koi fish, they emerged in to
a walled garden that Matt had not seen before. "It's beautiful" he
commented as they continued strolling. On a spur of the moment thought,
Matt slipped his hand inside Luke's, and whilst neither said anything,
Luke gave a tight squeeze in acknowledgement and continued to walk.

The grounds were huge, but the paths, now lit by small lights, framed it
in a way that made it look like a fairy tale in its own right. Stopping
at a bench, Luke sat, and patted the spot next to him.

"This is my favourite place in the whole property. The overhang of the
elm trees, the greenery all around us, the feeling of peace. This is my
spot."

"It's beautiful. It really is" Matt commented.

Reaching in Luke kissed his lips, just once, just as a thank you. After a
few minutes of silence, they rose as one and started heading back to the
house. As they reached the house, they climbed the stairs and made their
way to the master suite.

"I'm going to have a shower, care to join me" Luke said.

"I was hoping you'd ask" said a very sheepish Matt

As Luke turned on all 6 jets, and let it warm up, he raised Matts arms
and lifted his shirt over his head, exposing the muscle and fur, the
inviting nipples, and tan that first caught his eye many days prior. For
Matt he loved that Luke was shorter than him, he loved that what little
hir Luke did have was starting to grey, and that he could get both arms
around him if he wanted. In their own thoughts the age thing played out.

Matt was turned on by Luke's age. Luke for his part was afraid he was
too old. This part of the communication needed addressing. But now
wasn't the time.

Stepping in to the shower, Matt surprisingly took the lead. Placing his
arms around Luke he leant down and kissed the older man and made the most
of it. He couldn't get enough of him. Luke was eager to keep up, but
between them two other issues had started to rise, and in Matts case the
issue was bigger than Luke's.

Reaching down and placing a hand gently on his shaft, Luke was cautious
as to how Luke would react. This was soon placed in the back of his mind
as Matt through his head back and moaned out loud. Slowly he jerked on
his shaft and made him relax a little.

"Can I touch you" Matt asked as Luke just nodded in silent agreement.
As Matt reached down, he was both scared and nervous. He'd not done this
yet, but he wanted to. As he placed his hand around Luke's cock, it felt
the same as his, but different. Stroking him was different. `Do I do it
hard and fast or slow and soft? What does he like?' Matt though to
himself.

After a few moments of making out and touching, Matt pushed Luke back to
the bench in the shower, forcing him to sit down. Matt then proceeded to
kneel before him, and whilst he continued to jerk him off, he knew what
the end game was.

"Can I try and suck you?" Matt asked

"You can do whatever you want. Just don't do something you don't want
to think you are trying to please me."

Matt smiled as he placed his mouth closer to Luke's cock, his head
looking fat and pink. Slowly he licked the tip. Didn't taste funny or
strange, and then he licked the shaft to see the result. Taking a deep
breath he placed his mouth over the head and went all the way down,
causing him to choke and splutter.

"Hey cowboy, you need to learn to crawl before you can walk" Luke
smiled, trying to make light of the situation rather than demoralise
Matt. It worked and as Matt went back down on him, he slowly took it an
inch at a time.

"Less teeth, more tongue" Luke whispered and Matt took the advice and
changed his delivery to a more tongue approach, causing Luke to moan out
loud.

"Hey Matt, slow down. This old guy hasn't cum in a while. You gonna
make me shoot if you keep that up."

Ignoring his plea's and working harder and faster Matt kept doing what
he was doing but had now started massaging his balls, like it was
something he'd been doing all his life.

"Matt, Matty, Matthew, if you don't stop, I can be held respon......"
was all Luke got out before he shot a load in Matt's mouth with force
he'd not remembered the last time he had.

Matt stood up and looked at Luke with a massive grin. "Did I do OK?"

"Where's my cum?" Luke asked

"I swallowed it, isn't that what you're supposed to do?"  Matt looked
confused

"You know what. If that's what you want to do, then that's fine" Luke
responded

Matt leant down and kissed the older man.

"What are we going to do with this?" Luke asked.

"We don't have to do anything. I'm ok" Matt responded.

"Why don't we dry off and hop in to bed. I think it could be a long
night ahead"