Date: Mon, 19 Jan 2004 00:40:28 -0500 From: Eric W. Subject: Dreams and Satin Sheets Chapter 15 Dreams and Satin Sheets By: Eric W. Disclaimer: This story is a work of pure fiction created by my imagination. Certain parts of this story will contain sex between consenting adult male partners. This story is homosexual in nature and should only be viewed by those over the required age in your area. If you are reading this story and are not of that age then I do not want to know so please don't tell me. Author's Note: Well I guess I should explain why it has taken me so long to begin work on this latest chapter. I haven't been in the right frame of mind to write lately and am only doing so now because I felt inspiration hit me. Well I was watching one of my sappy love stories and got a few ideas so I decided to get them down before they left me. I don't know what is going to happen with D&SS as of right now but I can definitely say that we aren't even close to the end. I have however started work on another story and I will keep you posted on it and will let you know if and when I post it. Okay so any comments or suggestions should promptly e-mailed to me because I need some help with ideas. Anyway here is the latest chapter of Dreams and Satin Sheets. Chapter 15: The Honeymoon is over. **Scott's POV** Well it has been almost 3 weeks since Josh and I returned from Paris. It was an amazing honeymoon. We spent the time site seeing and doing the tourist thing. We had romantic dinners at amazing French restaurants and spent an absurd amount of time in bed. When we had returned home we had to spend the biggest part of our first day home returning calls, writing thank you notes, and going through several weeks' worth of mail. After we had finished all of that we started going through all of the gifts that people had brought to the wedding. I was surprised at the amount of gifts that people had brought us. I had told people specifically that we didn't need anything and that their attendance at the ceremony was gift enough. That almost never works. We hadn't made much progress on the gifts because we had massive jet lag for a couple of days and then had to return to work. Every day after work we would open a couple of gifts then have dinner and go to bed. My hours at work had increased and while I was thankful for the rather large paychecks I would receive it still cut down on my time with my wonderful husband. After two weeks we had opened every single gift and wrote the appropriate thank you notes and mailed them. Three weeks after we had returned I was sitting on the patio waiting on Josh to get home from work when the doorbell rang. I walked through the house when I looked through the window there was a large white fedex truck sitting in front of the house. "Mr. Williams?," the man questioned when I opened the door. "That's me," I said. "Please sign here," he said handing me the electronic clip board. I signed if and he took it then handed me a box and then set another large flat box on top of it. "Have a nice day sir," he said and began walking back to his truck. I kicked the door closed with my foot and walked back out on to the patio. I set the large boxes on the ground and went to get a glass of tea. After I had poured it I went back out on the patio and sat down picking up the phone. I dialed Josh's cell phone and waited for him to answer. "Hey baby," he said. "Hi love, I got a question," I said. "I'll be home in about an hour," he said. "That's good to know but it wasn't my question," I said. "Ohh, shoot," he said. "Well I was just visited by the fedex man and he brought me a package, it is addressed to Mr. Williams and I am not expecting anything. Are you?" I asked. "Nope, wonder what it could be?" he said. "Well there is only one way to find out, I'll see you when you get home okay, bring dinner I am too lazy to cook today." I said. "Ok, is Chinese alright?" he asked. "Yeah, you know what I like," I said. "Okay, see ya in a bit, love you," he said chuckling. "You too babe, bye." I said hanging up. I went back into the kitchen and retrieved a knife and my cigarettes. I light one and began sliding the knife carefully through the tape on the large box. When I opened it I saw lots of tissue paper with an envelope resting on top. I wondered what all was in the box but decided to open the envelope first, maybe it would tell me who it was from. I slid my finger across the seal and pulled out the multi page letter from inside. As I started to read a voice from my past filled my mind. Scott, How could you not tell your best friend that you are getting married. I am deeply hurt. Well not really because I know that I am not the easiest person to find. It's been a while hasn't it? I am assuming that you have everything you want now that you are married. I am sorry that I wasn't able to come even though I wasn't even invited I still knew thanks to your detective sister Sue. She managed to track me down and she told me it took her nearly a month so I now know why I haven't heard from you. I was sitting here at my desk and when the phone rang my secretary informed me it was Sue and I was confused. She informed me all about the wedding and your fiancé Josh and about how your life has been. I am so sorry that I wasn't there for you through all of it but when we went our separate ways after college I didn't expect things to go like they did. Anyway back to more important things. Enclosed in this box is your wedding gifts from me. There are a couple of them because I knew just one wouldn't be enough and I couldn't make up my mind anyway. The second box is from me and your sister. You'll see when you open it why it is from the both of us. I hope that you have everything that you ever wanted and if this Josh makes you happy then that is good enough for me. I would love to see you, both of you, that is if you still want to see me. I know I haven't called or anything but you aren't easy to find either. I remember back in college that we were always deluding ourselves in thinking that we would always keep in contact. It's not as easy as one might think is it? Well I suppose I shall close for now. The numbers at the top of the letterhead are my numbers at my office and at home. When you call you know who to ask for to get trough. My secretary knows who I used to be called and she'll put you through. I gotta run for now, important meeting you know how it goes. I hope to hear from you soon. Love always, A I looked over the letter and smiled. It had been years since I had heard from her. She was my best friend through high school and college. After we had graduated and most of us went our separate ways. After my move to Savannah I pretty much severed all ties with my previous life. That included all my friends from high school and college. As I sat there and looked over the letter I realized that now that I have in essence reunited with my family, it might be time to look up my old friends. I sighed as I picked up my cell phone and began dialing the number at the top of the page. "Good evening thank you for calling Lady A Designs incorporated how may I help you?" a cheerful woman said. "I would like to speak to Lady A please," I said. "Is she expecting your call?" she asked. "Not exactly but this is Scott Williams," I said. "Ohh very well I'll put you through," she said and then transferred my call. "Dr. McGill speaking," she said. "So you're a doctor now?" I asked. "Scott, you bitch how are you?" she asked. "Very well and you seem to be doing well yourself," I said. "Not too shabby," she said laughing. We talked about a few things, old times and such. Then we came to the topic I had been dreading. "Soo, do you mind telling me why you didn't call me to come to the wedding?" she asked. "I didn't know where to find you." I explained. "Excuses excuses," she said laughing. "Seriously A-," I said. "I know, not that Janine and I could have come anyway," she said. "So you two actually started your design firm," I said. "Girl don't you know," she said. "Well I was thinking about something after I read your letter in the box," I said. "Did you like your gift?" she asked interrupting me. "I haven't looked at it." I said. "What???" she asked. "I was waiting on Josh to get home before I did." I said. "Waiting on me before you did what?" he asked snaking his arms around me and kissing my cheek. "To open this present from my friend A," I said. "Ohh a present, let's open it," he said. "He sounds like a big kid," A said. "Well he can be," I said, "Hang on a sec while we open it." I laid the phone down on the table and then started pulling out the items in the box. Among them were a crystal vase, and a picture frame wrapped in tissue paper. I unwrapped the frame and looked at the picture. It was a simple silver frame with all of my old friends from high school and college. It was taken during our junior year. "I remember when this was taken." I told Josh. "Really, who are they?" he asked. "These are all my old friends." I said. At this point as I looked over the photo I started crying. I missed them so much all of the sudden. Josh noticed it and picked up the phone and started talking to A. I didn't listen to their conversation as I looked over the photo. In the photo we were all sitting in front of the fountain on campus. On the top row I saw, me, Ariella, and Nicole. On the bottom row was, Eva, Janine, and Sharon. I wondered what they were all doing now. I asked Josh to give me the phone back and after saying goodbye he handed me the phone. "Hey A," I said, "Thank you so much for the photo and the vase, it's beautiful." "What did you think about the other gift?" she asked. "What other gift?" I asked. "In the other box dumbass," she said. "Ohh I forgot about it," I said, "Hey baby open up that box there." "Soo what did you think of talking to my man?" I asked. "Well I thought he sounded nice," she said. "Really?" I said. "He sounded kind of sexy too," she said. "You should hear him when he just wakes up," I said giggling. "I'll take your word for it," she said. "Baby, look." He said. I looked over and saw a large framed canvas. On the canvas sketched with charcoal was an exact replica of the picture that my sister had taken at the reunion. I looked at the detail and then I looked at the signature in the corner. There were two one was Ariella's and the other Janine's. "A, how did you and Janine both do this sketch?" I asked. "Very fuckin carefully," she said laughing. "It is gorgeous," I said, "Thank you so much." "You deserved it and it was the least we could do." She said. "I thought so too," I said. "Babe," Josh said. "She knows I'm kidding hun," I said. "Okay," he said and shrugged, "I'm gonna take this in the house." "Okay love," I said stealing a quick kiss. "You two sound sickeningly sweet," she said. "We can be" I said. "Well I am glad you are happy," she said. "I am I really am," I said. "Baby, dinner is getting cold so get your cute ass in here and eat," Josh said. "I'll be in, in just a minute." I said. "Okay I heard that," she said, "I'll let you go." "Okay A," I said, "Listen I was thinking about having a reunion sort of thing here at my house and wanted to get everyone together. You think you could make it?" "Let me get back you on that," she said, "I'll have to check with Janine." "Well I'll make some calls and get back to you with some definite details within the week." I said. "Wow you sound very business like," she said laughing. "Well I am the assistant lab supervisor at the hospital." I said. "Sounds cool," she said. "Well, listen Josh is calling again so I am gonna go, I will get back to you later," I said. "Okay, keep it real baby," she said. "Always girl," I said then ended the call. * * * * * * * * * IT was a week later when I was sitting at my desk at work. The Janine and I had worked out a deal that I could remain working in the lab for a good part of the week as long as all the necessary work was completed. Admittedly I put it off as long as possible but had managed to keep everything up to date and without any errors. I was impressed with myself. I sat looking over the computer screen trying to make sure that everything was in order on the requisition. When I finished it I printed it out and signed it. I took it and had Janine look over it after which she signed it. I went back to my office and picked up the phone and began dialing the supply company. I had finished placing the order rather quickly and I wrote the necessary information on it and put in the folder I kept the requisition orders in. I was just standing to leave my office and go work in the lab some when my phone rang. "Laboratory, Scott Williams," I said picking up the instrument. "Well don't we sound professional," a female voice said. "Janine?" I asked. "Yeah," I heard Janine yell from the lab. "Not you," I yelled back, "Is that you?" "Yeah," she said, "Catch you at a bad time?" "Nah," I said, "I actually figured it was Josh." "Well sorry to disappoint you." She said laughing. "Nah, you didn't." I said, "So what's up?" "Well after you talked to A the other day she and I decided to take you up on that little offer to have a reunion. We also called up everyone else from the group." "Really? Are they coming too?" I asked excitedly. "Still hyper as ever I see," she said. "Sometimes," I said. "Well they are all going to meet us in Savannah." She said, "Then we are going to come check out this man of yours, before we find a hotel." "Hotel my ass, you are staying at my house." I said. "We don't want to impose," she said. "Bullshit," I said, "You were just waiting on me to ask." "I see you can still figure people out quickly," she said laughing. "Well just make sure I have all of your flight information, and I'll do the rest, ohh yeah and I'm paying too." I said. "We couldn't let you do that," she said genuinely. "Well we can either fight about it or one of us will have to give in," I said. "Well look at it this way, for us we can call it a business expense, and write it off." She said, "Besides, what's the point of running a company if you can't use its money." "Good point," I said, "You pay." "I thought you'd see it my way," she said. "Well just get the final flight info to me before you board the plane and we'll be alright." I said as I saw my other line flashing. "Okay will do," she said, "So what have you been doing to keep busy?" "A little of this and a little of that," I said, "Listen Janine I need to get the other line it's Josh," "How do you know?" she asked. "Well it's lunch time so he is calling to make sure I am going to eat." I said. "Sounds like a keeper to me," she laughed, "I'll let you go and I'll get the info to you asap." "Okay, good to hear from you," I said, "And I can't wait to see you guys." "You too," she said before disconnecting. I switched over to the other line and talked to Josh for a few minutes. After we had hung up I went out to the lab and began doing some of the work that I saw had just come in. It was getting close to three and I was excited. At 3:00 I got to go home. It never bothered me to work, I enjoyed it most of the time, but I didn't like all the over time I'd put in over the past year. The money was great but there for a while I wasn't sleeping well and Josh said I had lost too much weight. I thought I still looked pretty damn good but he said I needed more meat on my bones. I had to stop remembering what his response had been when I asked him which bone he was referring to. As I put the last batch of tests on the LX to run I noticed that the room had gotten fairly dirty over the day so I began busying myself cleaning it and sterilizing it. I was just wiping down the last counter when Janine came walking into the room. "My my, look at the busy worker bee," she said grinning. "What can I do for you your majesty?" I asked. "Well we have a problem," she said. "We do or I do?" I asked. "Well..." she said. "Just tell me one thing," I began, "Am I going to be eating dinner at home or here?" "No one's going to force you to eat the cafeteria food." She said trying to smile. "So who can't make it now?" I asked. "Patrick," she said. "Ohh shit," I said, "I hate working microbiology." "Well that is the nice thing about being the boss," she said grinning, "Assign someone else over there tonight." "You are a truly evil person," I said, "I like it." "Well Scott, I cannot tell you how much I appreciate you." She said. "I have only one word for you," I said, "Raise." "We'll see," she said beginning to leave. "Ohh and one more thing," she said turning back around. "Yeah," I said. "Leave when you think it's safe," she said, "We don't want to pay you more overtime than necessary." "Do we know how much I've cost the hospital yet?" I asked. "Too much," she laughed, "But it's cool." With that said she left. I heard the outer door slam at about 3:15 and I knew then that I was in charge now. Grinning I walked over and put on the radio to my favorite station. I went back to chemistry and began reorganizing the freezers. I must have become more engrossed than I meant to because began singing softly. "Nice voice," I heard someone say startling me. "Holy shit you scared the fuck outta me," I said. "Sorry, not my intention," Alan said. "S'ok," I said. "So what is the big boss man still doing here?" he asked. "Working late because Patrick couldn't come in," I said. "Bummer," he said turning to check on the machines. Almost an hour later I had just finished cleaning and reorganizing the chemistry lab. It had started simply with the counter cleaning, then to the freezer. Then before I knew it I was on a ladder cleaning shelves and organizing reagents. I know I am a neat freak sometimes, but I'm not usually this bad at work. Then I realized, I had nothing else to do. Alan seemed to be keeping a handle on everything so far and unless there was an emergency or something he could probably do all the work. I sighed as I realized that if there was one more person there in the lab then I could go home. I really didn't mind being there but it had been a long week. I had just been busy for some reason. I hadn't been working that hard at work or done that much at home but I seemed busy all the time. I walked around the lab for a few minutes then set about cleaning and reorganizing the supplies in the hematology section. I was still thinking about how busy I'd been and trying to nail down exactly what it was that I was doing to be so busy. Then it hit me. I was at work. It wasn't that hard being at work but I had started being there more and more. I thought about that while cleaning. "Did someone have an espresso?" I heard Alan ask me. "No why?" I countered. "Well you have been cleaning since before Janine left, and that was over two hours ago." He said. I hadn't realized it but I had just been keeping myself busy. After I had finished hematology I did blood bank. I had finished that quickly and then moved to microbiology which I was currently working on. "It needs to be done," I said simply. "Well don't let me stop you," he said grinning, "Cause if you don't do it then those slave drivers called supervisors will make us do it." I grinned but continued working humming along with the radio. I had taken the phone from the chemistry lab and put it in my pocket. It had a headset which I was wearing in case anyone called. I was just putting a box back on the shelf when it rang. "Laboratory, Scott." I said answering it. "Baby, what are you doing?" I heard Josh ask. "Cleaning," I said. "My husband the neat freak," he said laughing. "Well Patrick called in so I am making myself useful." I said. "You know there are other ways to be useful." He said seductively. "Ohh really?" I asked. "Ohh yeah," he said. "And just how could I be useful," I said while picking up a box of test tubes to put them on the shelf. "By coming home and taking care of my achingly hard dick." He said lustfully. I was caught off guard by his comment and while I fumbled for words I heard the sound of shattering glass. "Baby, what was that?" he asked worriedly. "Ohh just my husband causing me to drop a box of test tubes," I said. "Oops," he said like a little kid. "Oops is right," I said laughing. "I sowwy," he said. "Yeah, you are pretty sowwy," I said laughing harder. "But you love me anyway don't ya?" he asked. "Yes baby I love you for all your faults." I said. "You make it sound like there are so many," he said indignantly. "And I still married you didn't I," I said. "You're gonna pay my friend," he said. "Bring it on baby," I said sexily. "You realize how extremely difficult it is to be mad at you when you sound so sexy," he said. "You'd be surprised how many tight spots that has gotten me out of." I said. "I could think of a tight spot I'd like you to be in right now," he said. "Okay baby I'm hanging up now before this conversation changes from PG-13 to X rated." I said. "Well I guess I'll have to amuse myself," he said. "Amuse yourself till your heart's content but just make sure you are awake and well rested by the time I get home." I said. "Your wish is my command," he said. In my mind I could picture him dressed as I dream of Jeanie, that made me grin. "I love you baby, I'll be home as soon as I can." I said. "Love you too," he said, "Now go eat some dinner." "Yes mother," I said. "Bye baby," he said. Before I could reply he had hung up. I clicked the phone off and then went back to my cleaning. I was idly thinking about Josh as I started cleaning and had totally forgotten about the box of test tubes until I heard glass crunching under my feet. "A little distracted are we?" Alan asked. "A little," I said moving to get the dust pan and broom. "What's got you so shaken up?" he asked. "My husband," I said simply. "Ohh really?" he asked, "How so?" "Ohh just wondering where I am," I said. "Well, I'm sure he'll be awake and well rested by the time you get home." He said. "Yeah I hope so," I said absentmindedly. "Especially since he'll probably just amuse himself till then." He said. "Yeah probably," I said frowning. "Maybe just sit around and watch some PG 13 movie," he said. "Alan, what's your point?" I asked. "That since Alicia is here now you can go home and take care of his achingly hard dick," he said whispering. I heard Alicia howling in laughter from the chemistry lab. "You two assholes were eavesdropping?" I said. "Well not intentionally," he said. "So you accidentally listened?" I asked. "Yeah, we were talking and when the phone rang Alicia put it on speakerphone just as you picked up. We couldn't resist." He said grinning. "You should have tried harder." I said. "Well it's hard to resist listening to two studs have such a stimulating conversation." He said. As he had said the word stimulating he had opened his lab coat so that only I could see the tent that in his scrub pants. "I see," I said beginning to laugh. "What's so funny," Alicia asked as she came in. "Ohh nothing, Alan and I were just discussing appropriate topics of conversation in the work place." I said winking at him. "Ohh you mean you and Josh," she said, "That was more than appropriate, hell it was the most action I've seen in months." "Me too," Alan chimed in. I laughed at them while trying to sweep up the glass. After that was finished I completed my cleaning of the micro lab and then went to my office. I grabbed my keys and cigarettes along with the coke I had been drinking earlier and left my office. "Well guys, I believe you can take it from here." I said. "Leaving so soon," Alicia asked. "Yeah, I have a firm matter that I need to handle." I said grinning. "Handle, right, more like man handle," Alan said. "Jealous?" I asked as I walked out of the door. About half an hour later I was pulling into the driveway. I locked the car and went into the house through entrance in the kitchen. The house was dark and quiet so I assumed that Josh was asleep and went to try and find something to eat. I was rummaging through the fridge when I came across the left over chicken I had made last night. I was surprised that Josh hadn't eaten it but I popped it in the microwave anyway. I pulled out a few more things and just began sitting them on the table. I looked over after I was finished and realized how much it looked like an episode of Golden Girls. I fixed my plate and then sat at the kitchen table eating quietly. Actually I wasn't getting much eating done, just pushing my food around on my plate. I looked out over the back yard and continued absentmindedly pushing my food around with my fork. It's not that I was thinking about anything serious, just thinking. I hadn't accomplished anything besides the occasional bite of chicken. I sighed got up from the table and wrapped the plate in saran wrap. After placing it in the fridge I stood there a second before opening the freezer and pulling out a pint of Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Chip cookie dough. I grabbed a spoon and sat back in my chair overlooking the back yard. My mind kept running in circles and it was starting to worry me that I didn't even know what I was thinking about. My mind drifted to Josh, my favorite topic of thought. I thought about how unbelievably happy he had made me. I felt things for Josh that I had never felt before. The amazing thing was that it seemed like everyday I felt myself having a new and different feeling about him. I smiled while thinking about my wonderful husband. I took a bite of my ice cream and closed my eyes while I enjoyed the taste. When I closed my eyes I saw a face in my mind's eye that I never thought I'd see again. Lee's. I shook myself trying to figure out why I was suddenly thinking about him. IT only took me a second. The ice cream. The first time I had ever ate it was with him. It had been my favorite ever since. I sighed. I didn't want to think about him. I didn't want to remember him, but I had no choice. Thinking about Lee always brought up feelings for me, strong ones. There was nothing loving or good about these feelings but they were there just the same. And I suddenly noticed that I had been thinking about him quite a bit lately. Of course Josh didn't know but I figured that he knew that something was bothering me. He always did. I sat there trying to figure out how to get rid of these feelings and to get him out of my mind for good. I knew that the memories would still be there but I wanted to try to keep them from coming up anymore. I sighed and continued eating my ice cream. I wasn't paying attention to how much I was eating, I just kept shoveling it in. As I looked out over the back yard and let the ice cream melt in my mouth I let my mind wander over the night sky. I looked at the stars and wondered how much longer the warm weather would last. As I watched a tree blowing in the gentle breeze I thought about when it would get colder. Winter in savannah wasn't an extremely cold season but it was colder than I liked. I remembered how cold the winters in West Virginia had been. I also remembered that one night right before winter, when Lee had broken my heart. Suddenly I realized what it was that I needed to do. I picked up my cell phone and pressed four buttons then waited. "What city and state please?" the female voice asked. "Savannah, Georgia," I said, "Lee Saunders." "One moment please." She said and I waited. After a moment the woman gave me the number and I disconnected. I stood there looking at the piece of the paper with the 10 digits on it. I walked over to a drawer and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. I had all but stopped smoking, one here and there but I wasn't even smoking a third of a pack a day. After I had the pack and lighter in my hand I walked out onto the patio and sat at the table. I picked up the cigarettes and lit one. I inhaled deeply and then picked up the phone and paper. I pressed the 10 numbers and sat there with my finger on the send button. Taking one last deep breath I pressed the button and put the phone to my ear. I sat there listening to it ring and took a long draw off my cigarette. "Hello." I heard Lee's voice say. "Hello Lee," I said softly. "Scott?" his voice questioned. "Yes, it's me." I said. "It's been a while, how are you?" he said. "Better than I've ever been," I said. "Good to hear," he said, "Now do you mind telling me why you are calling me at 2 am." "I didn't realize that it was so late," I said, "I'm sorry I just needed to talk to you." "That's okay, feel free to call me anytime." He said. I sat there for a second and thought about his words. His voice. Even after all these years he could still get my mind racing with that voice. "You still there babe?" he questioned. "Yes, I'm here." I said. "So what's on your mind?" he asked. "An August night several years ago." I said. "Ohh," he said, his voice becoming soft. "Yeah," I said, "Ring a bell?" "Yeah," he said, "How could I ever forget that night?" "I know I never will," I said. "Look Scott, I made a mistake." He said. This was new, something I never expected. "Really?" I asked. "Yeah," he said, "We were young, and horny, and we didn't know what we wanted." "I did," I said. "You did what?" he asked. "I knew what I wanted." I said flatly. "And what was that?" he asked. "You." I replied. "Me?" he questioned. "Yes, you," I said. "Why me?" he asked. "Because you were you," I said. "You were funny, and sexy, and bold. Never afraid of anything. Always the one to take the lead. You made me feel special for so long, back when we were just friends." I continued, "Then the summer of my eighth grade year I realized that I was different. Different from everyone else. And it scared me. I did the best that I knew how and hid it from everyone but you made it hard to hide anything. So after a while I finally told you that I thought I was bi. That was a lie. I didn't think I was bi I knew I was gay. That's when things changed. You and changed. You told me that you thought you were bi as well and you remember what happened from there. But the one thing that you don't know is that you helped me so much. You are the one that made me realize that it was okay. That's when I really changed." "How so?" he asked. "I fell in love with you." I said. "I know," he said after a moment. "I thought you loved me too." I said. "I didn't know what I was feeling." He said. "And you were scared." I said. "Yeah, and we all know what happens when Lee gets scared." He said. "Yeah, he either faces it dead on, or bolts." I said. "Exactly." He said, "I bolted. I ran as far and as fast from my feelings as I could. That's why I got married. That's why I had the baby." "That's why you broke my heart." I said feeling the emotions return. "I'm so sorry." He said. I didn't say anything. I sat there trying to fight the emotions while I lit another cigarette. "Look Scott I know how bad I hurt you." He started. "You have no idea how bad you hurt me!" I said acidly with my voice slightly raised. "You're right," he said. "You were always right. You were the one that made the good grades. Who had a chance of becoming something. The one who actually made it out of that town. You were always the smart one. And I was the jealous one." "Jealous of me?" I questioned. "Of course." He said. "I never meant to hurt you babe," he said after I didn't respond. "But why did you?" I asked becoming very emotional all of the sudden. "Why did you leave me? Why did you just throw what we had away? I have spent a long time thinking about what we had. It wasn't a relationship. You wouldn't let it be one. Because you were scared. All of these years I have been thinking about us. I have thought long and hard, and for many years I've loved you. So why did you leave me?" I sat there waiting on his response. "I left you for you." He said finally. "Huh?" I asked. "I left you so you could become the great person you are today. So you could go to college and get your degree and spend your life helping people. So the entire world could see what I saw." He said. "What did you see?" I asked. "What a wonderful person you are." He said. "But I could have taken you with me to college. We could have both done something. And it could be you here with me in my house." I said. "How?" he asked. "I would have helped you," I said. "You mean you would have done it for me." He said, "You always did everything for me." "Because I loved you," I said. "And I used you." He said. "What?" I asked. "I used you." He said, "I knew I could pretty much get you to do anything I wanted. So I used that to my advantage. I could see how much you loved me and I used that to get what I wanted." I sat there stunned by his brutal honesty. "Your right," I said. "And I was wrong for doing it." He said. "Right again." I said. "You still say whatever you think don't ya?" he asked. "Why stop now." I said. "I was such a fool to let you go." He said. Now I was totally floored. "I never should have let myself be that scared. Let my fear of what everyone else thought rule who I was. I should have stayed with you." He said softly. I thought I heard him crying but I wasn't sure. "Lee..." I started. "No listen Scott, I am going to be honest now. I lied to you enough back then so I am going to tell you the truth for the first time in a long time. I love you." He said. At the exact moment those words left his mouth my heart stopped. I sat there having wild flashes of memory. Of us together. I sat there remembering all those things then I finally remembered that one August night. "Someone who loves someone, doesn't tell them `maybe we shouldn't do this anymore' and then leave before morning." I said venom dripping from my words. "I told you I was scared back then," he said. "And I wasn't?" I asked incredulously, "Look where we lived for fuck's sake, backwoods West Virginia. Homophobe capital of the world. I was so afraid that one day I'd end up dead somewhere because someone found out I was gay. You never had to worry about that because no one even dreamed you were gay. I had to worry about it every day of my life." "I'm sorry," he said again. "I know, but it doesn't change anything," I said. "Why not?" he asked, "Won't you even give me a chance to make it up to you?" "Why should I?" I asked. "Because I love you," he said, "And isn't love supposed to conquer all?" "Yes it does," I said quietly. I thought I heard sigh of relief. "Love does conquer all. Love can even defeat love." I said cryptically. "What do you mean?" he asked. "I mean that the love I feel for my husband..." I started. "Husband!!!" he said. "Yes Lee my husband," I said. "Well just who the fuck is he?" he asked. "Josh," I said, "The guy I met that night at the club?" "That's my baby," I said proudly. "Why him?" he asked. "Because I love him," I said, "And most importantly he loves me." "I bet," he said. I couldn't tell if it was jealousy or sarcasm but I moved on anyway. "Yes Lee he does love me, and HE isn't afraid to show it. He does all the little things that you never did, and all the things that you've never even heard of. He even calls me everyday at work to make sure I had lunch. If I work over then he has some take out sitting in the fridge for me when I get home. He buys me presents for no reason and tells me he loves me no matter where we are or who we are with. He holds my hand when we walk and holds me while we sleep. He even calls my mom once a week and talks to her for an hour before he lets me talk." I said. "Your family knows about you two?" he asked. "They were here for the wedding." I said flatly. "He must really be something," he said. "He is," I said, "And you know the one thing I'll always remember." "What?" he asked quietly. "After that night when we saw you at the club, I couldn't take it. Everything I had ever felt for you came rushing back and I couldn't take it. So Josh brought me home. We laid in bed and he held me while I told him all about you and us." I said. "You told him," he said. "Josh and I have no secrets." I said, "And do you know what I saw on his face after I had finished telling him about us." "No what?" he asked. "Tears," I said. "He cried because of how you hurt me. He cried harder than I did. But then again I have lived with it for years." "Wow," he said. "Yeah, wow," I said, "And whether I admitted it at the time, when I saw those tears streaming down his face I knew that in that exact moment that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him." "Well it sounds like you are doing ok." He said. "Yes I am," I said, "Don't get me wrong I still have feelings for you. But not love. You were my first and that will always be something I remember, but I don't love you Lee, and I doubt that you love me either." He was silent. "I guess now you are wondering why I called." I said, "Well that's easy. I called to do something that you never gave me the chance to do." "She left me," he suddenly blurted out. "What?" I asked genuinely confused. "The woman I married, she left me." He said. "That hurts doesn't it?" I asked. "Yeah," he said. "I know better than anyone," I said, "So now I'm going to do what I called to do." "Okay," he said. "I called to say goodbye." I said. "Goodbye?" he questioned. "Yes Lee, goodbye," I said, "When you ran out all those years ago I never got the chance." "I know and I'm..." he started. "Don't say you're sorry again," I said, "I already know." "Then what do you want me to say?" he asked. "Nothing," I said, "I just called to finally get all this shit off my chest, so now I'm gonna go upstairs, take a nice hot shower, and climb into bed with the most amazing man on the planet." I noticed him being very quiet then something come that I had been expecting. His childish jealous side. "And what am I supposed to do?" he asked. "I don't care, and I haven't for quite a long time," I said pausing, "Goodbye Lee." After saying that I clicked end on the phone and erased the number from the call log. I lit another cigarette and inhaled deeply. I looked at the piece of paper on the table and I picked it up. I read over the numbers and then I took the lighter I was still holding and lit the corner. I watched as the paper burned in my hand and when the flame got close to my fingertips I dropped it on the ground. "What's my little fire bug doing out here so late?" I heard Josh ask from behind me. I turned to see him leaning up against the door frame wearing only a pair of my boxers. "Nothing much," I said, "How long you been standing there?" "Since you lit the first cigarette." He said. "Ohh," I said. "Wanna tell me why you were down here talking to your first love at 2 am?" he said sounding slightly mad. "Baby, I promise I was gonna tell you," I said. "I know," he said simply, "Wanna talk about it?" "Just come over here," I said. He came over to me and I buried my face in his stomach. I wrapped my arms around his waist and held on for dear life. I wasn't crying but I just needed to hold him. "Why?" he asked me. "Closure," I simply said. "I was wondering when you were gonna do this." He said. "What?" I asked. "Let go," he said. "Of what?" I asked. "The pain," he said. "How'd you know?" I asked. "Because baby, we are connected." He said. I didn't say anything so he continued. "You are in my heart and I am in yours. I know when my angel is hurting." He said stroking my hair. "I love you so much baby," I said. "I love you to Scott." He said. "Let's go to bed." I suggested. "Okay love," he said. "So how'd you really know something was bothering me?" I asked quietly. "Because for the past few weeks every evening on my way home I buy a pint of ice cream. And every morning the container is in the trash." He said gesturing to the empty carton on the table. "Sorry," I said sheepishly. "Just do me a favor in the future." He said, "Share." "I will baby, I will stop bottling things up inside, I promise I'm getting better at it." I said. "I know," he said mischievously, "But I was talking about the ice cream." I tried to swat at him but he was already on his way out of the kitchen. So I just laughed and shut the patio door. Then I quietly ascended the stairs. To Be Continued... Hey Guys, hope you really enjoyed this chapter. I know it has taken a while for me to get it out but I had some ideas that I was working with and I decided to tie up this loose end. I know it may not be some of my best work but I decided that you guys deserve a little something. I am already working on chapter 16 but another story that I am writing that is in the beginning stages is occupying my creativity at the moment. Y'all remember to hit me up on the e-mail. Later