Date: Thu, 28 Mar 2019 08:00:47 +0100 From: David Roslyn Subject: Fear by David Roslyn (category: Beginnings) - Chapter 29 Disclaimers: This work is a work of fiction and is my property. The story and characters are fictitious and any resemblance to anyone or any actual event is coincidental. There are three distinctly different main characters that will appear as the story progresses. You should be legally allowed to read this type of material before continuing. As it is based on an actual book, I had published a few years ago – free for your enjoyment – the story will not contain explicit material in all the chapters BUT don't fret, as it is more the exception than the rule. Note that there will be a violent scenario. If this will trigger any trauma for you, please be aware of it before you start reading. Please direct any comments or feedback to my email address at davidrolsynauthor2019@gmail.com. Enjoy! And remember to donate to Nifty! CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE Daniel James has been avoiding me all day. I don't understand why he's so fucking pissed off. I offered myself to him, like he wanted. I lay back in my bed and recall what'd happened. When James had taken me to his room, I knew he had something in mind. Not to disappoint him, I let him take charge, even though I was conflicted about what I really am to him. Am I a charity case or his project? It was starting to feel like either, or. He stripped off my T-shirt and pulled my shorts and underpants down and I just stood there, waiting for him to make the first move. He asked me if something was wrong, but how could I tell him that I didn't like feeling like a kept man. Someone with nothing to offer except a willing ass. I undressed him too and grabbed hold of his cock to get him fully erect. But then he just stopped me and when I didn't look at him, lifted my face and stared deep into my eyes, asking me if I wanted him. I said sure. Then he went ballistic on me, screaming at me about giving him pity-sex and telling me to get the fuck out of his room. I'd never seen him mad like that. What did he expect? I wasn't in the fucking mood and as long as I feel like he owns me and I should be so fucking grateful for his help and love, then I'm nothing more than a prostitute. He seriously doesn't get it ... My phone rings and it's an unknown number. I answer. "Hello, Casanova. Miss me?" It's Johan! Oh, fuck, hell no! "I asked you a fucking question, you, insolent prick!" What do I say or do? Uncontrollable fear grips me. What the fuck is he calling me for? What should I do? My pulse races and a cold, sweat forms on my brow and chest. "You need another fuck from me, it seems. I know where you are staying, and that American of yours can't protect you, all of the time. He has to eventually leave and then I'll be back to get some of that tight sweet pussy-boy ass of yours again. I can't stop thinking about how warm, soft, and tight that but of yours was. I am so fucking hard right now, I can ..." I disconnect the call and block his number on my phone. My hands are shaking feverishly and I nearly drop the stupid device. Why, oh, fucking why has he called me again? Is he stalking me? He's got some nerve! I should tell James and call the cops. This can't go on. But what do I tell them and then it will be in the media and everyone will know that I was the little gay boy, allegedly, raped by a wine state foreman. That's if they even believe me, considering I have no evidence to support my claim. And fuck, I forgot, I have to get an HIV test to confirm that the asshole hasn't sentenced me to a life of pills and health scares. I battle to fall asleep but with the realization that I have to do the test tomorrow and really find out what my future holds. *** Waking up to a miserable rainy day outside, I get dressed and grab my wallet and phone and head downstairs. At reception, I leave a message for James that I'll be back soon and ask them to call me a taxi. But, I insist it has to me someone else than Paul. The receptionist frowns but does as I say, and within twenty minutes the taxi arrives. I ask him to take me to a pharmacy in Adderley Street, in the heart of the city. I'm nervous and biting my thumb nail all the way there. What if it is positive and my life is over? I know people can now live long with the virus but it limits so much, in so far as personal choices and relationships are concerned. There has always been and still is a stigma attached. Keeping that a secret would be a full-time job and never-mind wat this would do to James. He'll probably leave me in a heartbeat. After what feels like a lifetime, we arrive at the pharmacy and I enter the nurses' office. The Sister on duty asks me some questions to test my knowledge of the disease and surprisingly, I realize I actually know very little about it. The information she shares with me starts making me feel a little better, but I want this ordeal over and done with. James has texted me, twice, to ask where I am but I haven't responded. I can't deal with his inevitable questions right now. The realization that if this test turns out to be positive, it will send him packing, is something I'll have to deal with later. They check my blood pressure, sugar levels and even x-ray my chest for TB. They bring out an HIV testing kit and it reminds me of those the women use as pregnancy tests in the movies. Like those women, I realize the results itself will determine my future and it fucking terrifies me. My blood pressure starts rising and the Sister tells me sternly to calm down. I take deep and slow breaths to bring myself under control. With only a prick on my finger, like with the sugar test, she tells me it will take about ten minutes to get the results. Done, she refers me to wait for my results and I sit outside her office and continue with my breathing. I want so desperately to freak out now, but it will only make matters worse. This feels like the longest ten minutes of my fucking life! What scares me though, is that she'd mentioned that this is only a screening test and not one hundred percent effective. Then what's the fucking point?! I did tell her that I was given the PEP cocktail after I was raped, to which she demanded to know if I'd reported it. When I said no, she went on at me for allowing people like that to get away with murder. When she did calm down a bit she said that, the PEP cocktail could have prevented me from contracting the virus, as long as it was done within seventy-two hours after the fact. I confirmed that it had been the case. But, she said it still wasn't a given. After my internal nervous breakdown, `patiently', awaiting my results, the time finally arrives. She calls me into her office and sits me down. "Mr Matthews. The control line doesn't appear and it's an inconclusive test. I would suggest that we take some blood and send it off to the lab to make sure. It hasn't been long enough and so I rather suggest you come back in two weeks and then we can do the proper full test. At least then you'll know for sure. You sure you haven't had any flu like symptoms or swollen glands under your arms, since the rape? (I shake my head) Will you then come back to do it? You know it's important for you to know." I simply nod in agreement. My heart beat's rising again. Will this fucking nightmare never end? I leave her there and get the taxi to take me back to the hotel. When I walk in, James is sitting on the sofa reading a magazine, and stands up as soon as he notices me. "Where the fuck, have you been?! I've been worried sick." He storms towards me. I've had enough. "Are you fucking kidding me. You, sanctimonious prick. You can go out as you please and do what you like but I must get your fucking permission to do anything. Who the fuck, do you think you are?!!!" I'm yelling at him and the receptionist, concierge and two guests walking past are frozen, as we have it out. "Let's go upstairs!" He orders me. "No!" And I turn and leave the entrance. I need fresh air. He, of course, follows me. My breathing's out of control and my throat is on fire. I can't control my heartrate and feel as if I want to pass out. The fucking cunt! He reaches me and grabs me hard, spinning me around in the process. "You, ungrateful fuck! I have done nothing but try and make sure you are safe and you throw this in my face. You are nowhere near ready to make rational decisions and it's my responsibility to take care of you!" "I didn't ask you, did I?!" "No! But I do love you Daniel and you are making this incredibly hard for me." His voice softens a little. But I'm nowhere near calm yet. "You love me?! You don't even fucking know me!" And I turn around and jog out of the property and down the road towards the beach. I need to be alone. That fucking asshole! The exertion isn't helping my already stressed heart and I feel as If I might collapse at any second. Shit! I haven't had anything to eat today! That might explain it. I slow down a little as to not keel over. That's all I need, to be once gain rescued by James. But, I won't give him the satisfaction. I just need some time to myself to calm down and try and get some sense of all of this.