Chapter 10

"Get off me. Get the fuck off me."

I was being held down. It was mostly by Shay. Miguel just stood not trying to get involved. I had no idea where Rashad was but I wanted to find him. I wanted to not only find him. I wanted to fuck his ass up.

I never wanted to kill someone at that moment but at that moment I wanted to kill Rashad.

"You got to calm down alright," Shay stated grabbing onto my arm, "You gettin' rowdy isn't going to help."

"It's going to help me g'dam it."

"And when you're in jail. When you are fucked over for doing something stupid to that guy. Is it going to be worth it then?" Shay asked pinning my arms down before clutching me on y arm, "Huh, answer that."

I looked over at MIguel.

"Find Rashad. Tell him I need to talk to him."

Miguel looked back over at me with a wandering eye, "I ain't no messenger man."


Maybe it was how loud and controlling voice was. Maybe it was the fact that Miguel knew I meant business. Miguel just gave me a look, then looked at Shay and then walked out of the house at that moment.

Shay was taking me upstairs at that moment. I noticed he wouldn't remove his hand from over me.

"Let's go upstairs."

"Go check on your brothers."

"Just a minute ago you wanted me to not to go over there. Just a minute ago you said that it wasn't dangerous."

"You don't want to see this side of me," I replied with my face grimacing, "Ain't nothing sweet about this side of me man. I'm about to go crazy. You ain't going to like this side of me."

My arms clutched. I was in my room now. Shay had locked the door in the room as though this was going to calm me down. It didn't. I paced around the room. I wanted to find Rashad. I wanted to hurt him. This whole time he had been cheating on me with some shady motherfucker.

"You got to be smart about this. You can't just run up on him like last time," Shay replied, "We saw what happened last time didn't we? What happened last time, Fidel?"

"He got a cheap shot."

"Exactly. Regardless he's leader of the gang right now. He got them motherfuckers at his side. Felix. Tony. Them motherfuckas listening to anything he say. You got to play smart. You get it. Am I making sense to you?"

I took deep breaths. Shay was standing at the door. It was smart of him if he was trying to calm me down. If it was anyone else except Shay I would have bust through that door already.

"Ain't nothing making sense these days man. Nothing."

I sat on the bed.

"It hurts. I know."

"Man you don't know shit," I replied pounding my fist on the bed, "Matter of fact. Maybe you did know. You knew for too long. That's the problem. How long did you know? Man that's fucked up." I rolled my eyes, "That's fucked up you just been sitting on this this whole time!"

"Don't blame me. It wasn't my place to say. I tried to tell you or naw."

"You didn't try hard enough."

"Don't blame this on me," Shay grimaced shaking his head, "Don't do that. I'm not with that. You hear me? That was your relationship. Remember? Wasn't my place. Remember?"

I grimaced. I took a deep breath attempting to collect my thoughts. He was right. It didn't mean that it hurt any less though. I punched the bed again as though it would make me feel better. That didn't make me feel any better. Nothing would make me feel better.

"You know what's funny?" I asked Shay, "You know what fuckin' tickles for real?"


"I was trying my hardest not to flirt with you because of Lamont," I admitted to him, "I was attracted to you and shit and the funny thing is I felt bad. Me and you ain't even do shit and I felt bad. Just because I was thinking it and staring at you. I felt like I was the fucked up one."

I was so mad that I hadn't even noticed what I had just admitted to him.

"Erm. Attracted though?"

"Papi---quit playing. You know. That I know. That you know...that I found you attractive."

Shay was playing coy all of a sudden biting down his lip and avoiding eye contact with me, "Naw. I had no idea."

"No idea?"

"You treated me funny. I ain't think someone who likes you treats you funny. What is this...grade school?"

I laughed. I had to admit it was odd that after the news that I got too long ago I had laughed.

"I was getting at Miguel for having no game. Shit. Give it a few more weeks I would have been giving you wedgies and rubbing mud in your hair though."

Shay looked over at me. His eyes finally connected with mine. He wasn't so awkward now. He even smiled a little bit.

"You a natural bully huh?"

"Somebody told me you like gangsters. I was just pretending."

"Ain't no body tell you that," He replied, "But I do. I like gangstas. You a bully though. It don't matter. I can control you though. I got that covered."

I laughed. Shay had on this cute smirk on his face. At that moment I realized I had completely forgotten about the drama with Lamont. At that moment the only thing I saw was sexy Shay standing by the door pressed up against it giving me his smart lip. And I loved every moment of it...

"Word? How's that."

"How's what?"

"How you controlling me papi?"

"I told you to calm down---and you did. You could have pushed me out the way. You wanted to kill Rashad, I seen it in your eyes. But a few words from me and you calmed right down. Like a good boy," I smiled.

He was being cocky but I had to admit it was kind of cute. He was right. I didn't think anyone else could have calmed me down so quickly. Let it have been Miguel or any of the other homies. I would have pushed them out of the way so quick and found Rashad. I had a smile on my fucking face for god sakes.

"You don't run shit boy."

"Oh yeah."

I smiled, "Hell yeah. Prove it. Since you so hard. How do you run shit?"

"Erm. Prove it how."

I shrugged. I teased him with a smile that followed up as I lay back on the bed a little bit, "Bet you can't make me hard..."

Shay stared at me for a minute. When he didn't move and just stared I thought I was being a little too forward. Maybe I had come on too strong. I don't know what it was. With hearing what Lamont had been doing I felt free. I felt like this burden had been lifted. I didn't have to feel guilty about my attraction to Shay any longer.

I felt like I could do me and not feel bad.

And doing me meant doing Shay...

"Is that a challenge?" Shay finally stated and raised an eyebrow.



Shay took a few steps towards me. I watched how slow he walked. He took of his shirt at first and threw it on the floor beside him. He unbuttoned his pants. His pants dropped revealing some sexy white Armani underwear. The underwear hugged his crotch. When his pants fell to his ankles Shay stepped out of it with a grace only I knew Shay to have.

Honestly Shay was one of those boys that you could just watch all day. He oozed sex appeal. Even the way he moved towards the bed was almost like he was dancing. Like some sort of stripper.

"Did that work?" he asked me.

"Still ain't hard."

I was playing with him. I wasn't some weak ass dude. I was trying my best not to get hard and look like an idiot in front of him but it was difficult. Blood was flowing to my crotch and I hustled to control my urge to jump out of the bed and tackle him right then and there on the floor.

The last thing I wanted to do was seem like some cornball.

"What about now?"

He had taken off his underwear. He was naked. He was already hard. The sight of his hard dick sent a shiver down my spine. I struggled to maintain myself. He walked closer holding his dick in his right hand and playing with his nipple with his left index finger.

I sat up on the bed. I took two deep breaths.

"You ok..." I lied, "I could kind of see why Miguel was tripping over you..."

"Kind of?"

"A little bit."

He laughed, "You just playing hard to get now huh?"

"I'm and prove. I want to see what has my cousin all head over heels acting like a fucking stalker. Right now I'm just seeing an OK guy. You know. OK doesn't have people head over heels."

I smirked.

"I'm not worried about having Miguel head over heels."


"No I want you head over heels," He stated.

At that moment he sat in my lap wrapping his thighs around me. Before his ass his my jeans I was completely hard. It wasn't even a little it of weight either. I didn't have semi hard dick. My dick couldn't get any harder.

By Shay's laughter I could see he felt it through my jeans.

"I just wanted you to feel me for a minute---that's all----"

"Oh is it that it?" he asked.

I laughed at that moment my smile kind of giving away my embarrassment, "Ok. Ok. Whatever. You sexy as fuck. You know it and I know it. So what are we going to do about that?"

He leaned forward at that moment. His tongue went into my mouth. Kissing him was just as I imagined. It was warm, hot and sexy. I pressed my hands and gripped onto that fat ass of his. Shay moaned when I did it. I massaged his brown mahagony ass cheeks as he continued to rub on my abs. He rubbed on my chest and on my abs feeling up on my muscles as his tongue clashed with mine.

"Damn..." I stated.

He had me sprung. That was the only way I could describe it. He rocked back and forth. His ass put pressure against my crotch area. I felt up on his ass cheeks, feeling my way into the flesh until I got to his hole. I had never seen a guy with such a fat ass and such a tight hole. I played with it and my finger could barely get in there. I spit on my finger even and barely was able to get one finger in there.

When I did get the finger in there he let out a short moan, "Oh." Then he pulled back a little bit and took a deep breath as though letting me know that I had to go easy on him.

It was hard to do. I wasn't sure how my dick got out as fast as it did but my dick was now fully hard peaking through the jeans of my fly.

"Slow," he stated.

That was all he said before I jammed my tongue down his throat again shutting his up. Saliva was the only thing between us. My mouth was so wet with it that it was easy for me to lick my palm and lather up my dick with it.

I lifted him up again and guided him down.

He squirmed in pain.

I hushed him.

In the next moment though it was me squirming in pain as my dick struggled to get into Shay's tight hole, "Fuck your tight." My whispers didn't matter. It was replaced really quickly with, "Shit it feels good. Damn this the best ass I've ever had."

I had come to that conclusion within a few seconds of being in him. The tightness around my dick. His walls curved with my dick and I felt everything. I felt the flesh of his insides surround my pinga like a glove. It was almost like he was made for me.

I couldn't help myself as I began dropping him on my dick and thrusting upward at the same time.

I commanded him with harsh tension, "Take that dick."

I had waited so fucking long for this moment that now I was in him I didn't know how to handle it. I didn't know how deep I should go or what not.

Before I knew it I had picked him up and laid him on the bed. I wrapped his legs around my torso and started to plow into him aggressively. It seemed as all my desire for him were coming out as this moment. I thrust into him hard. My hands slapped the sides of his ass feeling his mahogony flesh in my hands. It felt so good. It felt so good that each thrust I was struggling to hold back an orgasm. He was so much better than Lamont. Lamont could never compare to this.

"I'm not going anywhere," he stated.

I didn't know why he said that. I didn't ask, but it for some reason those words calmed me down. All of a sudden I wasn't fucking the shit out of him almost. When he confirmed with me that he wasn't going anywhere my heart stopped beating as fast as it was.

And I started to make love to him...

My hard thrusts had slowed down to a rhythmic push. I let the walls of his asshole guide me in and push me back out each time. My dick slid into his crack and he would inhale air into his mouth each time. Soon I found myself hypnotized by how he inhaled after each thrust and I found myself mimicking him. We inhaled together...sweating over one another as I fucked him...slow...steady...rhythmic.

"You're so beautiful," was the thing that I found myself saying.

I didn't know why I said it. I never called a guy beautiful before. I might have said a guy was sexy. I might have called him handsome even. I never called a guy beautiful...not even the guy I married. This was different though. As I looked down at Shay that was the first thing that came to mind.

He grabbed onto the sides of my ass, "You feel so good."

I was so sure at this moment that dude was crying! I'm not saying no dramatic ass wail or nothing like that. I'm saying that I saw a single tear or two drift from the pupil to the side of his face.

Anyone else would have done that and it would have been the weirdest biggest turn off but with Shay shit was different. with Shay that tear seemed to send me over the edge.

I found myself licking it off the side of his face. My tongue taking the salty tear into my mouth.

And then I orgasmed.

I didn't pull out.

I sent streams of cum into Shay. My body pulsated so much that I didn't even have to thrust any longer. I was just looking at him and my orgasm seemed to be the deepest, best orgasm I ever had in my life.

I collapsed on top of him after that.

"Whoa..." I said.

He lay underneath me. He didn't say anything at first.

After a moment he just turned to me and stated, " I don't want to be your rebound."

The way he said it was deep as fuck. I didn't know how to respond. Instead of responding I just held him underneath me. I let my body surround him and the warmth of my body seemed to slowly and gently rock him to sleep.

I woke up an hour later to see that Shay was still underneath me. His breathing was so slow and steady. He was so warm. A part of me just wanted to lay with him but it was getting late and I knew that I wouldn't be able to go to sleep tonight because I had one score to settle.

I moved his arm and came out of his arms to walk over to the hallway. I found myself calling Miguel.

"Where is he?"


I called a car to Club Obsessions. This was a local Miami club that had gay nights. Tonight just so happened to be gay night. It was actually the an after hours. It was late as fuck...probably 3:30 am. Some people would have referred to it as early. The gay club was just getting started. Miguel had told me Rashad was here. I had no doubt that the guys had wanted to celebrate.

After the shooting they definitely felt like they had accomplished something.

I walked into the club and looked around. I was going to make this thing with Rashad short. I had a sexy ass dude in my bed and I planned on going back there before he noticed I was gone.

"Yo! Fidel!"

I recognized the voice immediately. It was Tony. He was calling me over in the club. The club was actually crowded. There were Go-Go dancers and strippers everywhere. There were guys grinding on one another. The normal clubs people were probably scared with all the homophobia to be acting like this but by the After-Hours everyone usually got their liquid courage.

I followed Tony past a bouncer and he lead me up some stairs to a balcony area. It was a VIP section. Someone must have been stacking and I was actually surprised because I was pretty sure Rashad ain't had the money like that.

When I walked upstairs I saw a bunch of GGG members that I had kind of come to recognize. Some spoke. Some didn't. These were definitely more Rashad's guys then mine. Tony had gone to the back and was lounging on a couch. Right next to him was Miguel. Standing over there with a hookah in his mouth was Felix.

I walked over to the guys. It was Miguel that caught my attention.

"Where the fuck is Rashad?"

Miguel rolled his eyes at me. he picked up a glass and took a drink. Clearly he still had an attitude. I couldn't take much more of this attitude shit coming from him. He was really acting like him and Shay were in a full blown relationship. I struggled to not call my cousin a pussy in front of other people but he was really acting like one.

My mouth got dry as I grabbed the drink out of Miguel's hands, "You hear me talk to you?"

Miguel raised up, "Yo fall the fuck back."

"Relax Fidel," Felix stated, "It's on me. I told Miguel to tell you that Rashad was here."

"He's not here?"

Felix shook his head, "No homie. He's not here. Miguel told me ya'll got some issues or whatever. You know. Some bullshit. I feel like I can help resolve it."

"This is personal shit Felix. Got nothing to do with the gang."

Felix blew a pouf of smoke into the air.

"Everything got to do with the gang."

"Not this."

"Try me."

I could feel my hands clutching at this moment, "Yo Felix. I don't got no problems with you. I don't know your relationship with Rashad but I don't have time for all these questions feel me. I don't no time to be dealing with bullshit. Me and Rashad. We got beef!"

I was pissed. I was beyond pissed.

I noticed Tony and another guy hearing me raised my voice. They seemed to get on edge. They looked like they were about to make a move. I was ready. I wasn't scared. It was Felix who actually signaled something to them. I wasn't sure what he signaled to them but they seemed to calm down.

Felix got up at that moment and put a hand on my shoudler. He was a strange dude. He was mysterious. He had always been more cool with Rashad and Lamont when he was alive. I never really knew too much about the dude except he spent some time with Rashad back in the day one of the times Rashad was locked up.

"Yo relax. Get a drink. What about a lapdance?"


He laughed, "Not from me. I got a Go-Go boy I know. Fire. Sexy dude. Big dick. He got a fat ass too---not sure what you get into and shit---"

"I'm good," I replied.

"He has Shay. Why would he need a Go-Go boy for?" Miguel stated.

I could hear the bitterness in his voice. He was butting into our conversation sounded like a little bitch. This was ridiculous. He would be mad as hell if he knew what I had just come from doing with Shay an hour ago. The way Miguel was acting I was tempted to just expose how good the sex was.

"Sexy Shay?" Felix stated, "You smashin' that? That's what's up man. Damn. Props. So I guess this whole situation that you have with Rashad should just be water under the bridge right."

Water under the bridge? The dude fucked my husband!

"Not that easy."

"So let me get this right. You messing with a sexy guy like Shay but you want to beef with Rashad because he messed with your ex in the past?" Felix asked, "Is that correct?"

"You want to tell me why you care?"

"I can't have the gang head and the second in command fighting. That's bad business..."

"Second in command?"

Felix looked at me long and hard, "This whole gang thing didn't originate with Rashad. I fed him that idea. He looks up to me. He respects me. I'm thinking if you guys sit down and work this out civilly we can get everything resolved. You are important to GGG. I see that fire in you son. The same flames that I saw with Rashad."

I wanted to argue that I was nothing like Rashad. I didn't go around fucking married men and putting on a front that they were my best friend. Me getting into all that with Felix seemed petty though.

So instead I grunted, "Hmph."

He shook his head, "I know you mad. But look at the big picture. We can't be fighting amongst ourselves. We need order. Straight people want us to fight against ourselves. All we got is each other. You know that right? I hate straight people. I hate them with a passion. So I need you and Rashad to get together and talk this out like grown men."

"Ya'll don't need me no way."

"We do need you," Felix repied, "Why you think not?"

"You got Rashad. He beat me in that fight right. I guarantee next time I see him it won't be that easy though. I'll be shoving that bottle up his---"

"Cool out. Look. I got you. Let's talk this out. You are important. I believe in you," Felix replied at that moment before putting his hand on my shoulder, "Rashad is cool but after today I think he's sloppy."

The others were looking on. I wondered if they agreed with him. Tony had even started nodding his head as they listened to the conversation that Felix was having. It was almost like they were agreeing with Felix. Felix did seem older than all the rest of us. Maybe he was kicking some knowledge to them or something. I had no idea what this was about. To be honest I found myself listening to what he was saying just based off the fact that he was a little older.

"Sloppy how."

"How he did that drive by man. He was targeting all them straight people...not just WAF. When Pablo started running he was busting. We heard that someone not in WAF got shot."

I thought back to the shooting. I was in the car.

It had happened so fast. I didn't remember what happened. We had driven off before we knew what happened.

"Who got shot?" I asked.

Felix put his hand on his chin, "Remember that dude on the beach? Kenyon. Shay's brother----"

Holy shit.

All of a sudden my heart started to race.

"I got to go."

"What about Rashad?" he stated trying to stop me, "Wait. We can't have you beefing with Rashad. Kenyon slow down bro. Come back. Where you going?"

At that moment I didn't give two fucks about Rashad. The only thing that I could think about was Shay.


I got back to the house and ran up the stairs. My heart was racing. I felt like an idiot. I had been in the car. I had seen how stupid Rashad had been shooting. He didn't care about WAF. Rashad was just shooting wildly at everyone in the party. He really thought he was just getting back at the straight people.

He had just kept screaming, "Fuck straight people. Fuck ya'll straight motherfuckers."

I had tried to stop him and I finally was able to wrestle the gun away from him.

Now I had to explain to Shay that his brother was shot...


He was up. He sitting there.

"You left me?" Shay stated.

He looked hurt.

"I thought you were still asleep," I replied trying to make my voice as solid as possible, "I was going to get back before you woke up."

"You went after Rashad didn't you?" he asked.

It hurt me how hurt he looked.

"My beef with Rashad is my beef with Rashad."

He nodded, "But the shit is over Lamont. I just thought I could take your mind off Lamont for one night at least. I guess it don't work that way. Maybe it's best I leave."

"Yeah it is."

He stopped. He had probably been expecting me to stop him. He had probably been expecting me to just shut it down. Truth was I couldn't though. Not after what I had heard from Felix. It was my fault that Shay didn't go back to the his house to check up on his brothers in the first place. Now he had to find out from me what happened.

He started putting on his clothes at that moment. I could see the anger in his movements as he did. I just sat on the bed at that moment. This was probably the hardest thing that I had to tell him.

I had no idea if Kenyon was alive or dead.

"Shay I got something to tell you," my voice said. I turned away looking at the wall, the door, the paint and anything else that would distract me from staring at him, "Kenyon got shot."

Shay looked up at me.

His eyes pierced at me.

"You lying."

"I'm dead serious. I just found out when I went looking for Rashad. Word on the street is he got shot. I called around. He's at the hospital."

"Oh fuck."

"Look. I got a cab outside waiting for you," I stated still finding it hard to look at him, "I paid him already. I told him where to go already. Just...just get out of here."

Shay looked at me, "How the fuck did shit get so bad?"

I didn't know what he was saying at first. It wasn't until Shay walked out of the room and ran down the steps that I realized that what he meant by it.

Things had gotten bad. The gang had gotten bad. We had started this gang trying to protect people but in Rashad's hands shit just took a turn for the left. He was having shoot outs and shooting innocent people that had nothing to do with the beef we had with WAF. Shit had gotten completely bad and it was all because of Rashad.

I remembered what Felix was saying. I could fight Rashad. I could beef with him but that wouldn't solve anything. If I made peace with him however I could be his 2nd in charge. Maybe that's what they wanted. Maybe people wanted someone to watch over crazy ass Rashad and make sure that he didn't get too far out of line....


The next day I had spent most of the morning trying to get in contact with Shay. He wasn't answering his phone. It made me feel sick to my fucking stomach.

I did get another message however. It had come from Felix. Members of the gang were on their way to my house for a sit down. I paced trying to think about how I was going to deal because I had an idea Felix was going to bring Rashad with him in hopes of pushing shit under the rug.

It wasn't until noon that they showed up.

"Que paso?" Tony stated as he walked in the house.

I nodded at him. He was followed by Felix, Venus, Miguel and a few others. Rashad was the last one to walk into the living room. By the way he was avoiding eye contact with me I could tell that someone had updated him. He knew that I knew what he did with Lamont.

It was written all over his face.

Felix seemed like the mediator in this. He stood in the front of my living room crossing his arms, real gangster like as though trying to let people know that he was taking charge of this whole meeting. I could care less about Felix though. My eyes had shot over to Rashad.

It was taking everything in me not to haul my ass over the room and rock his jaw.

I hated him. I hated him with a passion.

Felix started off with a deep, almost intimidating tone, "I called this meeting because we got some man business that we need to take care of. It seems like two of our members have an issue. So we are going to deal with this---GGG style."

GGG had a style now?

I didn't bother though. I turned over to Rashad.

Rashad got up at that moment and took a few steps to me. He was still avoiding eye contact. I was itching. I was itching for him to explain himself to me.

Rashad started me down, "As a man I want to come at you and say I was wrong. Whatever you heard was right. I had sex with Lamont. We had sex a couple times. We were more than just friends. Also as a man I want to let you know that I apologize. I want us to move forward and want to offer you a position as my second."

The way Rashad spoke was almost as though he had been coerced to say these things. It was almost like a puppet with someone holding his strings.

I didn't believe a fucking word of it.

"Why don't you guys shake hands?" Felix asked.

The members of the gang looked over at me. I knew I was being petty. I knew I was going to seem real petty to everyone but shaking his hand so fast was something that I wasn't prepared to do.

"How many times ya'll fucked?" I asked.

Miguel shot me over a glare, "Stop being corny..."

"Yo mind your fuckin' business. Was I talking to you? You the last person to talk about someone being corny," I replied before turning back to Rashad, "How may times did you fuck my husband?"

Rashad raised his eyes at me, "A lot of times."

"You loved him."


"Did you love Lamont?"

Rashad hesitated, "Erm. Yes. I guess. Maybe I did."

My hands clutched. I had gotten up. Rashad seemed to have his defenses up. He didn't back down. He didn't back down and I took a step forward. My hands had balled up into a fist. I wanted to pound him. I wanted to keep pounding until I saw blood dripping from every opening in his body. I wanted to pound the life out of him.

It was Felix who spoke before anything else happened, "Remember what I talking to you about youngin'."

He was referring to me. He was referring to the idea that he said I had a roll to play and that he couldn't have the two leaders of the gang fighting.

Then I remembered Shay talking to me last night. Shay told me I had to be smart. Shay told me I couldn't just go at Rashad. Shay said that wasn't going to solve anything.

That was when I extended my hand, "Ok."

Rashad shook it.

I could feel his grip. I knew he didn't mean anything he said. He had been playing fake. He probably expected me to swing at him. He probably even wanted me to do something stupid. The way he was grimacing as he shook my hand let me know that Shay was right.

Keep your enemies close.

Two could play this game.

"Good. Let's pop some bottles. Cheers to the number 1 and the number 2 in this bitch!" Tony stated.

Before I knew it the guys started drinking. My eyes were staring over at Rashad the entire time. I didn't let my eyes off of him. I just kept watching him. I hated him. He must have noticed me glaring at him because every other minute he glared back. For the next twenty minutes or so we had that connection. We shared that hatred but we shared that hatred while we popped bottles and did some day drinking together.

We were really acting like everything was cool but I knew I would have my day with that motherfucker.

Everyone was drinking outside at that moment. We had gone into the backyard Mostly everyone. I noticed Miguel was missing however. I walked back into the living room to see him there. He was having a conversation but he stopped when I walked into the room. That only meant one thing. He was most likely discussing me. He was sitting on the other side of the room. He wasn't drinking.

I walked over to him. Venus had been hanging out by him. When I walked over Venus gave me a knowing glance as though he had been briefed on the drama that I was having with my cousin.

"Can I have a minute?" I asked Venus.

Venus nodded and rolled his wheelchair away leaving me and my cousin and me as the ones in the back.

"What do you want?" Miguel asked.

"We need to talk. We need to talk about Shay?" I started off, "I feel bad about how this shit is going down. I don't want this to fuck up my our relationship."

Miguel shook his head, " fuck him and now you done with him so it's family first?" he stated.

"No that's not true."

"So you didn't fuck him?"

I paused.

"I did but...I'm it's not true that I'm done with him."

Miguel jumped to his feet all of a sudden. His face flushed with red. He looked like a whole different person at that moment. I wasn't expecting him to look like that. He looked so pissed. I felt bad looking back at him but I had to tell him that Shay and I finally had sex. He had to know.

"You corny," Miguel stated, "You know what. I'm going to just say it. You're a fucking thirsty, backstabbing motherfucker. You knew I liked him. I didn't care if Shay was some random THOT on the street...the thing is you knew I liked him. You couldn't find no body else? You couldn't fuck with Tony or Esteban or Clarence or that stripper with the muscles from Obsessions? No. You can't fuck with none of them. You can only fuck with the guy that I'm into."

"It's deeper than that."

"No it ain't. It's convenient for it to be deeper than that. But real shit. Me and you---we not going to be the same. It's not about letting a dude get in between us. It's about you backstabbing me and I can't trust you no more. I never will be able to trust you..."

Just at that moment as I was about to respond there was a bang on the door.

I turned to Miguel. He shrugged his shoulders. I wasn't expecting anyone.

"Who is it?" I asked.

There was another had band on the door.


Oh shit!

"What the fuck?" Miguel whispered.

"Go in the back. Tell the others to run. Tell them to get the fuck out of here."

I had no idea what was going on.

Miguel didn't wait or argue. He ran out of the room into the backyard at that moment.

I took a deep breath. I composed myself for a second and walked over to the door once I realized that Miguel was no where in sight. I couldn't believe this was happening.

When I opened the door I saw a group of cops. New reporters were out there too. The block was hot! Cops cars were lining up and down the street. You would have thought I was some kind of terrorist by how deep everyone was outside of the front door.

"What's going on officer?" I asked.

"We're looking for someone by the name of Rashad, Felix and Fidel..."


"We got an informer from a local gay gang. The informer is letting us know who was involved with a recent shooting. What's your name sir?"

I paused. An informer. AN INFORMER! Someone from the gang!

A snitch. Someone was snitching.

My mouth got dry. I hadn't even shot. I was just in the car with Rashad.

"What's your name boy!" another cop stated.


Almost immediately a couple cops jumped on top of me. I watched as they pinned me to the ground. By the way they wrestled me to the floor you would have thought I was resisting.

An informer...

That was the only thing rolling in my head at that moment.

“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand the rights I have just read to you?"


All of a sudden I felt the cuffs on my arms.

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