I sat up at that moment sitting up in my bed. It was almost night time. I couldn't believe that somehow I had fucked up my relationship with Shay over the same bullshit from the past. I couldn't believe all of this was coming back to bite me right now.
I could just feel this loneliness. I could just feel this resentment towards Miguel but a part of me knew that he was just living in denial over what happened all those years ago.
The door bell rang.
I reached over the side of the bed and grabbed my burner off of the coffee stand.
Shit was getting heated and I was getting more and more enemies in these streets. I wouldn't be leaving without my burner. That was for sure. I walked over to the door, not taking the time to put on a shirt or pants for that matter. I headed to the door in nothing but my boxers. My pinga was flip flopping in my drawers and I was still ready for war.
Even if I was alone.
I cocked the door a little bit leaving the chain behind it as I clutched on to my hammer, ���Who is it?"
Shay? My heart started to race a little bit. If it was anyone else I would have thought it was some sort of set up. I should have been smart and thought Shay was setting my ass up too but it was hard not to trust someone I clearly had feelings for.
I couldn't help but open the door and let him in. He was alone. He was handsome as usual dressed in his little white t-shirt and basketball shorts. I could see him studying my body as soon as I walked into the house as though realizing that I hadn't been expecting anyone. A part of me was embarrassed that I was just in my boxers...but then again a part of me liked the way his eyes lit up when he saw how the boxers hugged my muscular frame.
"I'm sorry I wasn't decent. You kind of surprised me," I stated, "Wasn't expecting someone. You know?"
"No. Maybe I should run upstairs get something to wear."
"You're good Fidel," he repeated.
I didn't expect him to come here. I hadn't expected him to speak to me anymore especially how we had ended things back at the beach house. He wasn't smiling or anything like that when he walked into the house. Shay looked kind of uncomfortable. He stood in the middle of my hallway and shoved his hands in his pockets. He looked around the house. You would have sworn he hadn't been here before or something by how he was frantically looking around.
"Yo---you want something to eat, something to drink. Anything at all?" I stated shaking my head, "Miguel usually does the shopping. He hasn't been home for a while but um...I got...protein drinks...um..."
Protein drinks. I was offering him a fucking protein drink. What the fuck? I could tell I was nervous by how I was talking a million miles an hour. I just honestly didn't think I was going to see Shay again. I honestly thought that it was all over for us. I thought he was done with me. I wasn't pathetic like Miguel or anything like that either. I wasn't going to beg Shay to be with me if he didn't want to. I hadn't sent him a text message. Hell. I didn't even know if he got his phone fixed after it was broken. I had completely just laid in bed...all the while thinking about him. I guess that really wasn't the smart thing to do either.
I hadn't prepared for this moment.
He seemed even more annoyed when he offered me protein drinks.
"Look Fidel I'm not here to kick the bullshit with you. I don't want nothing to drink," he replied bluntly and with a cold demeanor.
"So why are you here?"
Shay gave me a hard look, "WAF knows you are Tony Mateo. My fucking bum ass brother told Donovan about it."
He left it hanging in the air as though he expected me to do something. I didn't know what to do about that. I just sat on my the chair and hugged my burner in my hand. I only had a few bullets in the bitch. I couldn't really afford much more than that.
"Guess we both have people in our family that like to run their mouths huh?" I laughed.
Shay looked at me like I had three heads when he saw me snickering a little bit.
"You find this funny."
"I mean, shit. Just a little bit of nervous laughter I guess."
"I wouldn't find it funny. Knowing Donovan he's probably ganging up right about now with his boy Pablo and the other gay hating motherfuckers."
I looked over at the gun. Looking back I had no idea my situation with my little cousins would have caused all of this bullshit in my life years later. The Ass Assassin. That's what they called me. They didn't even know the half. There was no way of defending myself without breaking my promise. There was no way of defending myself without destroying the lives of people that I actually cared about.
I was so lost in my thoughts that I hadn't noticed Shay staring at me with the hardest look that I had ever seen him give me.
"That's all you got to say?" Shay asked, "No doubt..."
"I mean----what do you want me to say?" I asked defensively, "You want me to piss in my pants and run around crying. I'm made of some tougher shit than that man. I thought you knew that already."
"Real gangsta right?"
Shay was giving me this hard cynical look. I hated that he had started to look at me like this all of a sudden.
"Why are you here?"
"Clearly you have your doubts about me," I finally stated putting all my cards on the table, "Clearly you don't believe in me?"
"Believe in you? You gave me no reason to believe in you dumbass."
"Yo—watch your mouth."
"No. No I'm not going to watch my mouth. You're acting like a straight dumbass right now," I stated shaking my head violently, "You sitting here really acting saying that I have doubts in you—but I'm here warning you. It's not you I have doubts about. It's Miguel. There's holes in his story. And even while you are ignoring me and not filling those holes...where am I? I'm right here. Aren't I?"
Shay was beautiful at that moment. I had to admit.
A true ride or die.
It was something that I had never had in Lamont. Regardless of how much I cared about Lamont I knew it was nothing like this. Shay was what Lamont wasn't. He was going against his own family for me. It was that moment that I realized that I was falling for Shay.
I was falling in love with Shay.
"Look homie," I stated coldly, "You should leave. There's going to be war on my doorstep probably soon."
"You should leave."
"I'm no pussy. I'm tired of running. These straight people want us to run all the time. They want us to hide all the time. No fuck that. I'm not running. I'm not hiding. Fuck all that bullshit. From now on I'm fighting. From now on I'm fighting this shit."
"Then I'm fighting to."
I was shocked. I was beyond shocked when I saw Shay squat next to me on those steps. I wanted to kiss him right then and there. I wanted to shove my tongue down his throat. I couldn't believe he was doing this for me.
"I'm not going anywhere," he replied, "I'm down..."
"You don't even know what you are down for..."
I hadn't even told him what happened that day. I hadn't told him about the past events. As I looked at Shay it seemed like he didn't need to know. For some reason Shay was just looking at me and he just seemed like everything I wanted in a dude.
"I'm down for you."
I grabbed him up at that moment so violently that he flinched. I pushed him up against the wall. He was so fucking beautiful but I was trying not to seem weak at this moment. I had to stay strong. He couldn't put himself in danger right now. I couldn't have that blood on my hands. If WAF knew who I was there was only a matter of time before they brought their hatred to me. There was only a matter of time before Pablo and Donovan and whoever else came for me. I wouldn't have Shay here like this.
"I'm not going no where. If you want to tell me what happened back then that's fine. If you don't want to tell me that's fine too. I think you're innocent."
"You don't know that."
I sat there for a minute breathing hard.
"That's all I need to know then," he replied to me.
It was at that moment that I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't take him sitting here being like this. I couldn't take how much I cared for him.
I pressed him up against the wall and started to kiss him. My body pinned him up. At first he seemed shocked and maybe that was why there was this hint of resistance but that faded quickly. Soon Shay was kissing me back.
Our tongues mashed across the wall. We were on some Bonnie and Clyde type gangster shit and I knew that I could care less. I found myself placing the burner away from us.
I laid Shay on the steps and climbed over him.
"Yo...you're the one," I told him.
I didn't know why the words came out of my mouth. I didn't know why I couldn't stop them from coming out of my mouth. When they came out of my mouth though he seemed smiled. It was the first time he smiled since he had walked into this house.
He didn't even know about the past. He didn't know about all the things I was hiding in my past but somehow he was a down ass dude who believed in me.
Shay grabbed at my boxers.
I hadn't even noticed how hard my dick had gotten just from the kiss we had on the wall until he grabbed. It was too hard to come out of the hole in the boxers so he pulled my boxer shorts up my muscular thighs and crept my dick through the pant leg.
As he held it he looked up at me...his eyes glistening from the chandelier overhead.
"I love you," he stated.
Damn. My heart raced when I heard the words. Maybe I would have said them back. I wasn't sure. I didn't have the chance.
I let out a gasp, "OH SHIT!"
Shay had put my dick in his mouth. He let me lean over him as he placed his head on one of the stairs. He guided my dick deep into his throat...down his throat...into his esophagus. He did gag. He didn't spit up. He took it all into him. I could feel the wetness until my pubic hairs hit his lips!
He swallowed the dick!
When he pulled it out of his mouth my dick was moist and wet from saliva.
"Fuck my face," he commanded me.
I didn't wait to follow his directions. In the next few minutes I started to pound his face on that staircase, shoving my dick in and out of him. The kid had skills when it came to this. He had relaxed his throat so much that he was taking it all in. Lamont was nothing like this. Lamont couldn't even put the head of my big ass dick in his mouth without choking up and gasping for air.
At points I thought he was hurting him and I tried to slow down...but Shay grabbed the back of my ass cheeks forcing me in deeper. I fucking liked that shit. I liked that slight aggressive shit. He was definitely aggressive.
"Te gusta mi verga?" I found myself calling out.
This dude had me speaking in other languages asking him if he liked my dick. Shay clearly didn't speak the language but he nodded with my dick in his mouth.
He was nodding before I knew it taking the dick out of his mouth and slapping up across his lips a couple of times.
"Hell yes," he replied.
He looked so beautiful down there and still masculine in a way. Even while slapping a dick across his lips he looked so fucking gangsta.
My heart was racing. Man. I loved him. I fucking loved him.
"Date Vuelta," I stated.
I picked him up on the stairs at that moment and showed him what I meant in Spanish when I turned him around. I turned him around on the stair case so that his face was leaning on one stair case and his ass was poking out on another.
I sat on a lower staircase and started to lower his basketball shorts.
"This is mine."
"Yes...Si..." he said.
His ass was fat. I loved how brown his skin was. I honestly always was attracted to only latino guys. Maybe dark skin Spanish guys like Lamont was the most I would go. I had never really been with a straight up black guy. I was wondering if I had been missing out when I saw how fat his ass. I was amazed every single time I saw it.
I rubbed my hands up and down the curves.
I played with the whole slowly letting my finger go just a little deep.
I looked at his moreno ass and found myself down there faster than I knew was possible. My tongue was deep in that ass before I knew it. For a the first couple of minutes it was all about me. It was all about me tasting that sweet dulce ass.
It tasted so good.
It wasn't until a few moments that I realized just how much Shay was into it too. He was moaning so loudly that I was glad that Miguel wasn't anywhere to be found. It would have killed Miguel to hear Shay moaning like this.
"Oh god. This is the best. This is the best I ever had!" he was saying.
He was screaming it out clenching, reaching for the railing. I playfully smacked his hand away from the railing. Nothing would save him from this tongue lashing.
He was panting as I flickered my tongue inside of his asshole rolling it like only a true Papi could.
He must have known what I was asking, "YES! YES!"
It was turning me on to see him squirming underneath me. My tongue went deeper and deeper each moment. His asshole was wet and ready.
By the time I stroked my dick I realized that my dick was beyond ready. It was squirting tons of precum out of it. If Shay's face wasn't bent over a stair, he probably would have thought I was nutting with how much precum my dick was shooting out. I had never been so horny for anyone in my life as I was for Shay. I wanted him...heart, body and soul.
I leaned over him.
"Mi amor," I was saying to him.
I said it before I put my dick in his ass...bareback...raw and covered in precum. I didn't care. I was clean and after tonight I knew I would be with Shay for the rest of my life. I just knew it.
This was my ass.
This was my man.
This was my baby.
"Fuck me!" He was saying, "Beat it up."
He was giving me permission and I loved to hear him talk but it was hard not to nut almost immediately when I pushed it in. I literally had to slow down and breath for a minute. I never had an ass that was so fat and so tight and so wet at the same time. My dick went deep into him on the staircase and he let out a roar.
I penetrated deeper and deeper.
My dick was having spasms almost immediately. It felt like I was having an orgasm already and before I knew I was thrusting so hard into him that I couldn't help it anymore.
The nut just sprayed into his ass.
It was so thick and so much nut that as I fucked him I was pushing the nut out of him. The nut dripped out of his ass cheeks. His ass was even more wet now and the feeling kept my dick nice and hard the entire time.
He was screaming as I nutted. He must have felt the nut. I don't know what made me reach over and grab his dick. I think I just wanted my hands to be all over him. That was when I realized that he had nutted too!
At least I wasn't the only one who was taking this intensely. He had nutted without even touching his dick.
Before I knew it...we had switched positions. Now I was sitting on the staircase. He turned away from me and was BOUNCING his ass on top of me.
There was nut everywhere!
"Aye Papi chulo!"
I couldn't believe I was calling Shay that until I did it. Guys called me that. I never was able to just cum and keep going with anyone else but Shay. It was the best feeling to have an orgasm and just know that you were so into someone that it didn't even matter. This was past physical.
He was bouncing on my soul.
His fat ass slapped up against my inner thighs. His ass was so fat that when I grabbed it my hands couldn't even cup half of the butt cheeks. His waist was so little too. I found myself holding onto him as he rode me sort of like I was holding onto a wild animal just going crazy on the dick. He was screaming so loud.
"OH! SHIT! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! I'm going to cum again," Shay was screaming.
"What the fuck is going on in there!"
Shit. Just at that moment I realized that someone was at the door. I could feel my heart racing as Shay hopped off my dick. I realized that I hadn't locked the door either and the door flung open in the next minute.
It was Rashad and Felix and a gang of other people. It was the ENTIRE GANG!
They had just walked in the house.
I did the only thing that I could do. I took my naked body and stood in front of Shay. I rather them have saw me naked and dripping cum than see Shay.
"Holy shit!" Tony stated with a smile on his face.
"You guys mind?"
Shay was huddled behind me on the back of the staircase. I had no idea what the fuck these guys were doing here all of a sudden. I just knew I had to protect Shay. That naked body was all mine. I mean I was trying my hardest to cover my own dick but my main concern was Shay being embarrassed behind me.
"Sorry about that, we thought you were in trouble," Felix stated.
I could see a couple of them not looking like Felix and Rashad but a couple of the thirsty guys were definitely still trying to cop a peek at either Shay or I depending on if they were a top or bottom. Tony's thirsty ass was definitely one of those people. I found myself helping Shay get dressed before putting on my underwear
"I kind of am..." I stated.
"You look like you doing just fine to me," Tony laughed, "We can switch spots any day of the week if I can get rode like that."
"Ya'll gonna desanitize those stairs?" Venus asked.
"Nigga---you can't climb up the stairs anyway," Felix stated.
"Look why are you guys here?" I asked.
I had walked down the steps at that moment.
Shay grabbed my arm, "I text them. I told them to come. Clearly didn't know they would come so fast..."
I looked over at Shay. I was confused.
It was Rashad who looked over at me, "He told us that Miguel been on a shady tip lately and he let out some information that would have WAF after you."
They looked confused. I didn't mind them being confused. Rashad was standing up in this room like he actually gave a fuck. It was kind of annoying. I didn't need him to give a fuck. I didn't need him to care about me at all.
"I don't need help," I stated, looking directly at Rashad as I said it.
"He does..." Shay stated.
Shay was being difficult. I watched as he slid up from behind me. He had gotten his shirt and his basketball shorts back on. A part of me was still uncomfortable with these guys being around him after we just had sex. Still I knew that this conversation was important.
It was Felix who crossed his arms, "What's going on guys?"
Shay looked over at me. He grabbed me by my hand, "You need to tell them."
I couldn't. I couldn't tell them.
"They are after me. That's all you guys need to know," I stated.
I looked over at the group. They were facing me with concerned faces. All together there was about 6 guys that had showed up. There were main ones like Venus, Tony, Felix and Rashad that had been there since the beginning and two others that I didn't really know at all.
I realized that Felix had a gun. Tony had a baseball bat. The others weren't armed at all.
"We got your back then," Rashad stated.
"Didn't I fucking say I don't need your help pa?" I asked Rashad.
"Can we talk---privately?" Rashad asked.
I looked at him for a minute. He was the last person that I wanted to talk to. Felix nodded to me as though encouraging it.
I sighed. This definitely wasn't the time.
Still the others had showed up so the least I could do is get with their leader to send their asses away. I told Shay to wait for me as I went with Rashad towards the backyard.
It was already dark when Rashad and I got to the back yard.
"I stepped down," Rashad stated, "I stepped down as the leader of the gang."
That was the first thing Rashad said when we were alone. It was kind of odd how he said it. He just made the statement and kind of let it hang there for a while. It was strange.
"What...you want some kind of award or something?" I asked.
"I want you to step up," he stated.
"Why the hell would you step down? I don't get it."
Rashad shook his head, "We both know that you are the better leader. I had a long talk with Felix. Supposedly a lot of guys in the gang think that you are as well. I mean. I don't blame them. You always tended to beat me out huh...even with Lamont."
The talk about Lamont with Rashad was something that I had been dreading ever since I found out the truth about them.
"Did you love him?"
He looked at me as though he knew exactly what I meant by the question.
"He was my soulmate," Rashad stated, "I'm sorry you had to be caught up in that. I really am. I didn't mean for shit to go down like that. I wanted to tell you a million times but Lamont was confused. I don't know how it happened but it just happened. And we couldn't stay apart from one another. Even though I knew the two of you had your thing..."
"...It didn't matter," I finished his sentence, "It didn't matter to you."
Rashad looked at me defensively, "I don't mean it like that. It's just..."
Rashad was thinking. He was lost for words. However at that moment I seemed to understand him so much. I put myself in his position and I got it. It made sense. The heart was such a fucked up thing. The heart and mind didn't work together a lot. Looking at Rashad right now confused and remembering his emotions I saw myself. I saw myself not with Lamont though. I saw myself with Shay.
"I get it," I stated.
Rashad seemed confused. He even raised an eyebrow at me, "You do?"
I nodded, "Hell yeah. I had a similar situation with Miguel and Shay. Even though I knew Miguel liked Shay the bond that I had with Shay canceled that out. Sometimes you are meant for someone and sometimes nothing else matters when you know deep inside you are. No one else matters. I was going to be with the person I love regardless..."
"It doesn't make it right," Rashad replied.
I nodded, "No. You're right. It doesn't. That's life though. Real talk. I understand. Lamont was never for me. I don't know what we were holding onto. As soon as I met Shay I was just beginning to fight the inevitable."
Rashad nodded, "Ya'll look good together. He's a good look."
I smiled a little bit teasing him, "Don't look too hard now, partna..."
It had been a long time before Rashad and I shared a laugh together. It had been too long before I realized that his company wasn't always a pain in the ass.
"I don't think Shay is going no where," Rashad replied, "He loves you man. He believes in you. When he hit us up...he was so convincing. We knew we had to come support. If he can believe in you the way that he can then there must be something about you. And I think you should take the reins..."
"Ya'll don't know me..." I stated, "My name isn't really Fidel."
"Just because that's not your name doesn't mean that's not who you are," Rashad stated, "You always kept it 100. With everyone. If Fidel is who we know then Fidel is who we are going to follow."
"Don't you guys want to know what WAF is after me for."
"If you are willing to tell us, we'll listen. If not...we down for you. GGG for life son. Us gay boys got to stick together. No one else will do it for us."
I looked over at Rashad. I had to admit I was kind of touched by this. For so many years gays had gone at each other's necks. It took us to understand who our true enemy was for us to finally band together and put our differences aside.
Maybe that is why it didn't surprise me when a very familiar gay came running my way from across my backyard at that moment. It was Kenyon. Shay's brother. He seemed like he was running really fast at that moment. Rashad took a step in front of me as though protecting me in a defensive nature. I put my arm on Rashad pulling him back a little bit so that Kenyon could pass.
Kenyon looked like he was breathing heavy. I wondered if he was here to get Shay back or not. He must have known that Shay was headed this way. Shay had told me that he had snitched. Shay had told me that Kenyon was the one who ran and told Donovan about me.
Still...he was Shay's brother so there was still some sort of respect that I needed to show him. Maybe one day he'd be my brother-in-law after all...
"Yo!" Kenyon stated.
"What's going on..." I asked him.
Kenyon looked at me hard at that moment, "They are coming...they are fucking coming for you. WAF... RIGHT NOW. Full force..."
I didn't know what Kenyon's motivations were for telling me this. At first I didn't even trust him but the more I looked at him the more I realized that he was probably telling the truth.
It was time for war.
The last war.
I looked over at Rashad.
I would have to tell the others. I would have to tell Shay. If they were going to fight. If they were going to have my back then they would have to know the whole truth...and nothing but the truth.
To read the next chapter go to www.crushedcrown.com