Date: Mon, 28 Jul 2008 11:07:04 -0700 From: travis paul Subject: Golden-Chapter 2-Gay beginnings Disclaimer: This is a FICTIONAL story, however I may have drawn ideas from actual events, but I have asked for permission first of course. If you are not of age or find this type of material offensive or illegal, then I ask you to please abstain from reading it. Also if you have any questions, concerns, or comments of any kind please don't hesitate to email me. I would love to hear you guys thoughts on the story. _____________________________________________________________ .Chapter 2. Darkness Round The Sun. Shit. I can't believe I'm late. That damn professor couldn't stop blabbing his mouth for one second. The lecture was supposed to be over fifteen minutes ago. What the hell?! Some people do have lives! And now here I was rushing to get halfway across town to a meeting that I was already late for. Damn could this car go any faster? I swear having your own chauffer is cool in all, but I could have been there by now if I drove my own damn self. And on top of that I had to put on a suit while driving in a car, and mange not to wrinkle it. God my life was a mess. "Benny how far are we from the building?" I asked my chauffer while trying to tie my tie. Wow if that didn't sound weird. "If you look outside your window sir, we have arrived." Benny replied. I glanced outside the window and sure enough we were parked outside the building. I breathed a sigh of relief, but still a little frustrated that I still couldn't tie my damn tie. Benny got out of the car and walked to my door and opened it for me. I nodded and said `thank you' he nodded back in reply. I walked through the front doors of the building only to be greeted with a pissed off looking Leo. I just rolled my eyes at him. I knew what he was going to say, `Where the hell have you been?' and the I was going to go on to tell him that I got held up with my professor. And then he would apologize and all will be right with the world. "Where the hell have you been?" he asked just like I thought he would. I took a deep breath. "I got held up with the professor at my school because he decided that since he had no life, he wanted to make us all suffer with him so he kept us all fifteen minutes after to review AGAIN the material for the test that we would be taking that he kept reiterating would be almost if not half our semester grade." I surprised myself that I managed to get that all out in one breath. Leo just looked at me in a confused manner, but he didn't seem as mad. In fact he laughed. I didn't see anything funny. Maybe the pressure has finally made him crack. I only appointed him as my top advisor because I trusted him with my life, oh and he was my friend since we were kids. But now I was seriously second guessing that. I was just joking...kind of. I just looked at him like he was crazy. "Gosh Golden I swear you are going to be the death of me." He said meaning it as a joke, but it only made me think of my parents. He must have saw it in my face because he quickly changed the subject. After all it has only been three weeks since my parents died, but it was still a sore subject for me. "Hey need help with that?" He asked grinning at me and motioning to my tie. His smile was contagious and I couldn't help but smile back at him. I nodded my head yes, embarrassed that I couldn't tie a tie. I think I was blushing to. Damn him. He laughed again and pulled me towards him. He rested his hands on my shoulders and our bodies were so close to each other. He smelled good. If I knew my cologne right then I would say he was wearing Unforgivable by Sean Combs. I leaned in a little closer and inhaled his scent. Yeah I was sure of it. He finished tying my tie, but he didn't move away. I found it kind of odd, but I didn't say anything. I could feel his breath hot on my face. If I stood on my tipy toes, or if he bent down just a little bit more then I would be able to kiss him. Ever so slowly I could feel his breath getting closer and closer. This was all too much. A part of me wanted to kiss him, but the bigger part of me wanted to push him away. Why did I want to kiss him? The bigger question was, why was he trying to kiss me? Our lips were so close now they were practically touching. Then that feeling arose deep within me. It wasn't love, lust, or even courage. It was panic. I shoved him away from me so hard that he stumbled but didn't fall. It was all I could do. He looked at me confused and mad but more confused then anything. "I'm sorry." He mumbled before walking past me to the conference room. What the hell was that all about? I shook my head. I would figure that out later. Right now I had to focus on the conference and closing this deal with our competitors. I straightened my tie and buttoned my suit before entering the conference room. ~ Needless to say the meeting went on FOREVER. To be honest I wasn't even listening to a word the guy was saying, I'm sure that my assistant got the details and would brief me later. She knew how much I hated these things. We all sat around the table, me at the head of it and Leo to my right. Throughout the whole meeting he didn't even look at me once. I wondered if he was mad that I pushed him. Serves him right for trying to kiss me. What the hell was he thinking? I asked him for help with my tie. He's the one that took it to another level. HE TRIED TO KISS ME. And now he was ignoring me...ME! It should be the other way around I should be mad at him. And I would be. Two can play the game. "Mr. Brooks...Golden. Earth to Golden." My assistant said waving her hand in front of my face trying to get my attention. I shook my head and looked around. Damn it. I was daydreaming again. Everyone was looking at me with different looks on their faces. Some with those snotty, `I'm so superior to you but would never tell you to your face because you're my boss' look, but most seemed just as uninterested as me. The only person that wasn't looking at me was Leo. What's his damn problem? Bastard. "I'm sorry Michelle. I was just distracted momentarily." I said ignoring everyone's blank stares. "Its okay Mr. Brooks." She said smiling back. "We just need you to sign all these documents. Then after that we are all free to leave." I signed the papers and stood up, as did the rest of the members of the board. As they all left I shook their hand and smiled to them. Leo was the last person left in the room. He had sat down when everyone else left. Michelle walked across the room to retrieve the papers. "Mr. Brooks is there anything else that you want me to do for you?" She asked standing now in front of me. "No Michelle. Your good. Just make sure to have those papers faxed out to all our other buildings by Monday morning." I said smiling at her. She nodded her head. "Okay sir." She said before shaking my hand. Her thumb kept rubbing my hand in a sensual way. Was she flirting with me? I shook it off. I released her hand. "Goodnight Mr. Brooks." She said before walking away. "Goodnight Michelle." I replied. I watched her walk away. She shut the door behind her. Maybe she was flirting with me. The sound of someone clearing their throat caused me to turn around. Damn I forgot he was still here. Or maybe I just wanted to forget. Either way to me he wasn't here. "What?" I asked forgetting formalities. There was nothing formal about this situation. "What?" He asked mocking me. "What do you mean what?" "What do you want Leo?" I asked a little irritated that he was being so difficult. "We need to talk." Boy was that the understatement of the year. "Yeah we do." "What do you wanna talk about?" "Look, Leo cut the bullshit." I said slamming my hands down on the table. Why was he acting so damn stupid? What the hell is wrong with him? "You know exactly what I wanna talk about." "This afternoon?" No last Wednesday...Of course this afternoon. "I don't have time for this." I said turning to walk away. I felt his hand on my shoulder, then all of a sudden I was spun around. Leo was staring at me forcing me to make eye contact with him. When I did I noticed something there but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. It seemed almost...sad. Confusion maybe? I don't know. At this point I didn't care. "Why do you have to make everything about you?" He yelled in my face. That's it. I shrugged his hand off me. "Oh so now I'm being pretentious? God Leo I don't understand you." I yelled at him. Good thing Michelle closed the doors before she left and that his room was sound proof, or else the whole office would have heard our little...disagreement. "What the hell is your problem? Huh? We never used to fight. Ever." I started to cry. For some reason I felt like whatever outcome our friendship was never going to be the same. It hurt. I had already lost my parents. And now I was about to lose my best friend. "Leo please." I said trying to calm down at little. "Please just tell me what's wrong. Every since...every since my parents died you've been acting different. Whatever it is just tell me. What's wrong with you?" He just continued to stare at me. I could tell he was on the verge of tears too. Whatever it was that was eating away at him, was really hurting him. Why didn't I notice it before? We could have avoided this whole mess if I had paid more attention to him. Maybe I was being a little too self absorbed. All I know is that I cannot lose him. "You." It was faint but I heard it still. What did that mean? You. Before I could ask him I felt myself being pulled forward and my lips being covered with his own. He was kissing me! Leo was kissing me! I tried to push him away but his arms were wrapped around me tightly preventing me from moving. All I cold do was sit there. So many thoughts ran through my head but the only one that kept reoccurring was, why wasn't I kissing back? I felt his tongue licking my lips trying to pry them apart. Why was I being so reluctant? I can't deny that Leo was a good...no great kisser. So why wasn't I kissing him back? Leo's hands began to loosen around me. This was my chance. Escape...escape. I couldn't move. My body wouldn't move like I wanted it to. Leo's hands began to slide down my back as he continued to try and gain access to my mouth. All of a sudden I felt his hands rest on my butt and squeeze it, pulling me closer to his body. That was when I felt how...excited he was. I gasped. That was all he need. He pushed his tongue into my mouth while inviting me to his own. My resolve crumbled. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer deepening the kiss. He squeezed my ass harder and ground his cock into mine. God that felt so damn good. My legs were getting weak. All this was too much. He pushed me backwards onto the table relieving me of some of the pressure without breaking the kiss. I was now laying on the table with my feet hanging off the side and him in between my legs kissing me. A part of me found this highly erotic. Kissing in a office. It sounded so dirty. That was such a turn on. Then I remembered where we were. I pushed him off gently. He was reluctant to stop but we had to. We couldn't do that here. I can't believe I wanted to do that with him here. He was still between my legs, his hands resting on my knees and I was now sitting on the edge of the table. We just sat there, staring at each other in silence for a while. Neither one of us ready to speak, either that or couldn't find the words to explain what just happened. "I'm gay." He whispered finally breaking the silence. I hadn't noticed. "That still doesn't explain why you kissed me." I said turning my head away from him. I wasn't mad. I was just. Confused. I've done my share of fooling around with guys but this was different. Emotions were involved on both sides. To top it off he was my best friend, and I didn't want to mess up our friendship. Why now? Why this all happening to me? First my parents die, then my best friend tells me he's gay, only after he kisses me. When did my life become a soap opera? "This isn't easy for me you know? Its harder then it seems." He said cupping my chin and turning my head around to face him again. Oh something is definitely hard. I can't believe I manage to maintain my sarcasm at a time like this. "Then just say what you mean Leo." I said. "I love you." Okay so maybe that wasn't the answer I was expecting. Hell that was far from what I was expecting. He loved me? Love? I think I'm going to be sick. My head was spinning wildly and everything around me began to blend into one big blur. I was having problems breathing. What's wrong with me? "Leo I--." I couldn't finish my sentence. It was getting harder to breathe. The last thing I remember was Leo calling my name. After that. Everything went black. ~ When I awoke the first thing I noticed was that I wasn't at the office. I was in a hospital? Just what happened? I sat up in the hospital bed and immediately regretted it. My head was killing me, I felt like I had been hammered with a sledge hammer, pushed over a cliff and landed on my head, and bitched at by Faith for 24 hours nonstop all rolled up in one neat little package. I held my head and groaned in pain. I glanced around the small room and noticed someone in a pile in the corner couch. My vision was a little off and besides the person had blankets covering them so I couldn't see their face. "Hey!" I yelled in an attempt to wake the person, but they were sleeping harder than I thought. I yelled louder but still to no avail. I grabbed one of my pillows and threw it at the person sleeping on the couch. The person rolled completely off the couch. I couldn't contain my laughter. Whoever it was I felt sorry for waking them up the way that I did. The person finally emerged from under the covers only to glare at me. "Big brother why did you do that. I was having a good dream!" Miles said glaring at me harder because I was still laughing. "I'm sorry little guy. I just wanted to know who that was in the chair." I said getting my laughter under control. "Why don't you come over here and lay in the bed with me. I'm sure there is enough room for us both. Besides I bet this bed feels a lot more comfortable then that chair." I said smiling. He nodded his head and ran over to the bed and jumped in with me. "So you gonna tell me what the dream was about?" I asked ruffling his hair. "Well, I was a super hero and I was flying through a storm!" "And what happened next?" "Well I saw a plane get hit by lightening and I rushed to save the people. I saved everyone and got back home and mommy and daddy was there. They made our favorite meal and said we all were going to take a vacation. Just the seven of us. Like old times." He seemed so naïve about his dream. He didn't realize that mom and dad were on that plane, and that the plane did crash into the ground. It was strange because all he knew was that our parents were gone and never coming back. So how could his dream be so...realistic? I wanted to cry again. But I couldn't. I put my other hand over my eyes. "Big brother are you okay?" He asked unaware that I was affected because of what he had said. I nodded my head. "Of course little guy, I'm fine really." I said reassuring him. He didn't look to convinced. "What's wrong little guy?" "Its just...well I don't want you to leave me like mommy and daddy." He murmured. "Why would you think that?" I asked him putting my arm around him and hugging him close to my body. "Because you got sick, and then you went to sleep for a long time." He said his voice breaking. I could feel his tears on my hospital gown. I rubbed his back soothingly. "Oh don't worry little guy. I'm sure it was nothing. I will always be by your side okay?" I said hugging him harder. He nodded his head. Soon he feel asleep in my arms. I couldn't go back to sleep. I was really thinking about what happened. The last thing I remembered was talking to Leo and everything after that was cloudy. I glanced at the clock on the wall. It was 10:45. I wanted to leave. I hated hospitals. The door opened and in walked Leo. Great. I closed my eyes and pretended to be sleep. Maybe this wasn't the best way to handle the situation but right now I just couldn't talk to him. Not while I'm still trying to figure out what all this means. I heard his footsteps as he walked across the room. Then I heard him sit something on the dresser next to my bed. Then he finally sat down in the chair next to me. "Golden you really scared me today." He said. His voice sounded so raw, like he had been crying. Now I felt bad about faking sleep. I thought about `waking up' but I wanted to see where this would lead. He sounded like he was crying. Now I felt even worst. He grabbed the hand that wasn't around Miles and held it in both his hands. "I'm just glad--" He paused, I assume which was to cry more. "I'm just glad that it wasn't anything serious you know? The doctors say that you were just overworked and exhausted, which triggered a panic attack. I think that I was to blame somewhat." He pulled my hand to his face and rubbed it against his cheek. I could feel his tears soaking my hand. "I don't know what I would have done if I lost you." He whispered. "I love you." There was that word again. "I know it seemed so sudden, but the truth is that I've loved you for as long as I can remember." That was definitely news to me. He loved me for as long as he could remember? Then why say something now? Why did he wait for the worst possible time to tell me something like that? Then again he never did have the best timing. "Just please...don't leave me. Don't be mad at me." He whispered, his voice cracking the whole time. "I shouldn't have forced myself on you at the office, but I couldn't help myself. You honestly don't know what you do to me." He brought my hand to his mouth and I could feel every breath he took. Inhale. Exhale. "Everytime I'm around you...I want to kiss you, hold you, and protect you. I guess that's why I'm just now telling you this. Because I want to protect you. I know how hard it was for you losing your parents, and I figured that if I told you how I felt then maybe you would allow me to protect and comfort you completely." How was I supposed to respond to something like that? It was thoughtful and sweet in all but the thing is...I'm not in love with him. I couldn't break his heart. He is my best friend and I don't want to lose him. I couldn't give my heart to him freely, not when its been broken so easily before. The one person who had ever taught me what love really was left me in the end without so much as a goodbye. I still held onto hope that someday we would be together again, but that was just that hope. You can't live off of hope. You can't build a life with hope. You can't run a billion dollar corporation with hope. No you have to take chances and do things yourself to get results. Which is why I made a decision. I opened my eyes, fluttering them a bit to give the illusion that I was waking up for the first time. Leo was looking at me and as soon as he saw my eyes open he rushed over to my side. "Your awake." He said wiping his eyes in an attempt to hide the fact that he had been crying. I nodded my head. "I was so worried about you." "I'm fine really." I said stroking his face his my hand. He smiled and leaned into my touch. I smiled to. "Did you bring him here?" he nodded, "Thank you." "It's no big he was worried about you too." "Leo--" "Golden--" We said in unison. We both laughed. It was just like old times, us saying each other's name at the same time. "You go ahead first." He said. I nodded. "I heard everything." He looked at me like he didn't understand. I swear he acted like that on purpose just to make me say exactly what he wanted to hear. "I heard your little confession while I was sleep." I said staring into his gray eyes. "You did?" "Yeah." "Look Golden I--" "Leo while I appreciate what you said and how you feel about me, and I didn't even mind the kiss, the truth is I don't want to lose our friendship in the process of forming a relationship. You are the only friend that I have, and the one's whose opinion I value the most." "Our friendship wont be ruined. If anything it will become stronger. The way you kissed me back...it proves that you care about me just as much as I care about you. You may be able to lie to yourself but you can't lie to me." I had to admit, he wasn't exactly wrong. I think I do care about him more that I want to believe. Could I open up my heart to him and be vulnerable to him? He wouldn't hurt me. He couldn't hurt me. That I was sure of. And besides he is a good kisser, and I could grow to love him. We already know everything there is to know about each other. So being together, in a relationship, doesn't seem as fanciful as I thought. "Okay." I whispered. "Yeah?!" He asked grinning like a little kid on Christmas day. I nodded my head. "Yeah." Before I could say anything else his lips where on mine again. Not that I was complaining but Miles was just beside me. He pressed his lips harder into mine. Well I guess it was okay as long as we didn't wake Miles. I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him somewhat on top of me. He didn't seem to mind. He broke the kiss and began kissing and biting me along my neck. Oh god that felt so damn good. I didn't want him to stop. He began to rub his hands along my body causing me to moan here and there. I laughed out loud. He stopped kissing my neck long enough to stare at me like I had to heads. "Your laughing?" He asked. I only laughed harder. He just kept staring at me like I had gone crazy. I eventually calmed down. "So are you going to tell me what was so funny?" He asked sitting down in his chair crossing his arms. "I'm sorry. Its just we have a knack for doing things like that in public places. " "What do you mean?" Okay so maybe he wasn't faking his naïve-ness, he really is as dense as he seems. Is naïve-ness a word? Oh well. "Well first it was the office, and now we are kissing here in a hospital." "Oh I see. I guess your right." He said and began to laugh.. I joined in to. "Well does that mean you don't wanna kiss again?" I rolled my eyes. "It depends how fast can you come back over here?" As soon as I finished my sentence we were kissing again like before. Suddenly the door burst open and in ran the doctor followed by a few nurses. Talk about embarrassing. Leo was leaning over me kissing me while his hand rested on my obviously tented gown. And to top if off the door bursting open woke Miles and he was staring at us wide eyed as well. I have never been more embarrassed in my life. "Woah big brother your kissing Leo!" Miles shouted stating the obvious. I pushed Leo off of me and struggled to cover myself up. Leo straightened his clothes and sat back in his chair avoiding eye contact. He was blushing too and it would have been cute if I wasn't in the position I was in. "Well...um..." The doctor started but didn't finish. I think he was a little uncomfortable as well, but not in a disgusted way. Just surprised. One of the nurses stepped forward. She was blushing as well. "We...were responding to a spike in your heart rate...but it appears you are...um fine." She said. I scratched the back of my head nervously. "Yeah...uh...Doc I'm fine." It was all I could think of to say. "Well if you excuse us." She said before walking/running out the door with the other nurses following her. Great I could just picture her and the other nurses talking about us all day. I just wanted to leave. "Hey Doc can I leave because no offense but I hate hospitals." I said. The doctor nodded. "Y-yes I just need to get the release papers and then you can leave." He said before hurrying out of the room. Now it was just Me, Miles, and Leo left in the room. "YOU KISSED HIM!" Miles shouted again reminding me of his presence. How was I going to deal with this. I had been caught red handed so denying it was out of the question. Think! Think! I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up to see Leo smiling at me. Why was he smiling. I needed to find a way to talk to Miles about what happened and he was smiling. What? "Its okay." He said in a reassuring tone. "He knows." "What? How?" I asked in disbelief. "Well because I told him." "Why would you do something like that?" "Because he asked." Okay I was officially confused again. I felt Miles tugging my sleeve and looked down at him. "Yeah I asked him. You said I was smart remember?" Miles asked. "Yeah but--" "And I knowed Leo since forever." "Yeah but--" "And I seened how he looked at you. So I asked him if he liked you like daddy liked mommy. And he said yes. Then I said he should tell you. And then he asked me if I was okay with it. And I said YES!" "Miles do you know what this means?" I asked him looking serious. He nodded. "Yeah this means that Leo is going to stay with us and we all can be together like a family." Miles said with a wide grin on his face. My eyes began to swell with tears. I bowed my head and began to cry. A Family? "Big brother don't cry. Did I say something wrong?" Miles asked. I raised my head. "No, no little guy. You didn't say anything wrong." I said embracing him. "Thank you." "No problem." Miles said hugging me back. ~ The doctor came back and I signed the papers and was released. Leo insisted on driving us home and when we got there, insisted on staying the night to make sure I was really okay. I didn't mind really if it meant that we would have more time alone together. Leo was being a good friend the whole time. He made sure Miles bathed and brushed his teeth. He even went as far as to read him a bedtime story. He really was too good to be true. I was lying in my bed. I couldn't sleep. I guess I've done enough of that. All I could do was think. Leo walked into my room to tell me he was going to bed in one of the guest rooms. I told him he could sleep here with me, which he seemed to like more. He climbed into bed behind me and put his arm around my waist, pulling me close to his body. I smiled to myself. This felt soothing. Relaxing. Right. There was still something on my mind though that I needed to be answered. "Leo...back there at the hospital. Did my sisters--" "Sshhh. Its okay." He said rubbing my head. "Serenity called to ask if you were okay and what your condition was. She seemed relieved that it was just stress related. She would have stopped by but she said that Faith and her were busy with the corporation. She said to send their love." I nodded my head. "Thank you." "For what?" I turned my head around to face him. I rolled my eyes and kissed him. It was just a simple kiss on the lips. I broke away from the kiss. "For everything." I said before turning back around and falling asleep in his arms.