Good Guys Don't Date Bad Boys Chapter 19

Good Guys Don't Date Bad Boys – Ch. 19

By Laura S. Fox

Gay Erotica

Intended for Mature Audiences Only

This story will contain graphic depictions of sexual intercourse, strong language and it is not meant for readers who are less than 18 years of age.

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Chapter Nineteen – You're Lame And You Know It

Jonathan pressed his fingers against his temples and groaned. How had Maddox found out about that incident? As much as he had been upset by Rusty taking such liberties with him, the fact that Maddox had gotten into a fight with his friend seemed an exaggerated reaction. Rusty must have told him; there was no other explanation.

And what did Dex want anyway? If Jonathan thought about it, the football player was annoyingly right. It didn't serve anyone for him to remain cooped up in his room, ignoring Maddox's messages, and he should explain his part of the story.

He would do it later, though. Dex had given him plenty of things to think about. What about him made people believe that it was all right for them to treat him like he was nothing but a spineless shmuck? Back in the day, Drew had obviously thought that, as he had thrown all those accusations at him so heedlessly, as if there had never been anything between them. Sure, Drew would have had plenty to lose if he had admitted his active role, and especially the illegal things, but throwing Jonathan under the bus so he could come out of it all squeaky clean... that had come easy to him, so, so easy.

Which obviously meant that Dex Solomon wasn't so wrong in his evaluation of one Jonathan Hamilton. Something in the way he behaved, how he was, allowed others to ignore him and his feelings. Even Maddox, as great a person as he was, considered it acceptable to tell his friends about everything happening between them. Jonathan hadn't said anything to that extent or level of detail to Ray, and the difference hurt. Where did the private things start and where did they end?

Maybe Maddox had done it without one ounce of ill intent, but it had been enough for Rusty to think Jonathan was nothing but some joke.

Sure, Dex was right. Maddox and Rusty shouldn't fight over that incident, especially since there was nothing serious going on, Jonathan thought as his mood turned sourer and sourer. It was best for him to distance himself from those boys as fast as he could. The last thing he needed was another scandal.

"Are you all right, JJ?"

Ray's question startled him. Jonathan hadn't even realized that he had remained in the hallway, leaning against the wall and ruminating over what to do next.

"I'm..." he wanted to say `fine', but he couldn't ignore the portion of truth that Dex had just served him in raw form. It made him understand that there was something wrong in how he acted, and he needed to stop right away. "I'm not fine," he breathed out.

Ray came by his side and leaned against the wall, too. "Did Dex give you a hard time? What for? I'm starting to hate him right now if that's what he did."

Jonathan shook his head. "I spent last night with Maddox. Part of it."

"Was it good?" Ray asked, a bit cautiously.

"Yes." He nodded eagerly. "But it was only hooking up," he added quickly. "The thing is, and please, please, Ray, don't tell anyone about this, not even Hanna, I stumbled upon Rusty on my way out, and he did something stupid, and well, I..." he trailed off, not knowing how to explain it because it suddenly seemed like such a storm in a glass of water.

Ray took his hand. "Let me make you some tea, and you can tell me everything."

It was a bit laughable that Ray offered such a thing, but Jonathan didn't mind having someone caring for him. If there was anything he had missed during this time, after his family had believed every word coming out of Drew's mouth like it was freaking gospel, it had to be exactly that – another soul minding if he didn't feel well or had a problem.

***

"Your love life is so complicated, but also a little funny," Ray concluded after Jonathan confessed about the way he had come together with Maddox, omitting, of course, the racy parts, and about the thing with Rusty that seemed to have blown out of proportion literally overnight.

"Well, I'm glad I'm making you laugh," Jonathan said and smiled, too. The moment he had started talking, it felt like everything had been brought into the light of day and no longer seemed so important.

"Maddox is crushing on you so badly," Ray said and snickered. "Hanna told me he and Rusty have always been very close, they're like the best bromance ever in the history of Sunny Hill. One that will never be anything more than that," he added hurriedly and eyed Jonathan with a bit of anxiety.

Jonathan had to chuckle. He surely didn't worry about Maddox's bromance with Rusty being anything resembling a problem. On the contrary, he wanted that bromance to live long and prosper. "Well, it looks like I'm about to become some kind of bromance wrecker then. Gawd, I hope Xpress doesn't get hold of this. I'll finally be ostracized for life."

Ray laughed. "Come on, JJ, they can't find out. I mean, I suppose that Maddox's friends will keep their mouths shut, just like me. And no one else knows."

"But doesn't it frighten you how many things those people writing Xpress appear to know?" Jonathan asked. "That little online publication, I don't know, there's something deeply wrong with it."

Ray dumped a fistful of dried herbs into the boiling pot. Jonathan bit his tongue not to say anything. When your roomie makes you tea, you drink it if it kills you.

"They're just speculating most of the time. And I don't think anyone gets hurt," Ray commented.

"Until they do," Jonathan murmured, lost in thought for a moment.

Ray came to the table with two steaming mugs and placed one proudly in front of Jonathan. "Does your dislike of silly tabloids have anything to do with that thing from your past you never talk about?"

Jonathan wrapped his hands around the mug. "In a way. Not that I appeared in some tabloid or anything. Thank God, nothing of the kind." He hesitated. He had unloaded so much already, maybe he could do with a little more.

"What kind did happen, though?" Ray asked. "I mean, forget it, I know you don't want to talk about it."

Jonathan exhaled. "You're right, I don't. But you're my bestie and just made tea for me." He raised the mug in a salute. "Thing is, Ray, I left home and right now I'm no longer on speaking terms with my family."

"Get out of here!" Ray smacked the back of his hand against Jonathan's shoulder. "You ran away from home? And did you live on the road? Like a gypsy?"

"I'm afraid nothing as adventurous as that," Jonathan replied. "The thing is... I mean, my family, they gave up on me when I needed them the most, and... I'm not entirely sure I'll ever be able to forgive them." He sighed at the end of that sentence, the strength drained out of him.

"Because you're gay?" Ray asked slowly, and his big kind eyes filled with compassion.

Jonathan chuckled in the most self-deprecating manner. "Trust me, that was the smallest part of it. Compared to the rest, it must have felt to them like a slight disappointment." He took a moment to muster the courage to continue. "I'll give you an abridged version since I don't think I'm yet capable of revisiting everything in detail."

Ray place a hand on his arm in a compassionate gesture. "Sure. Say only what you're comfortable with saying."

Jonathan took one deep breath. "There was this guy Drew I was fooling around with. Well, he was fooling around. I was very much serious about him. And he was, in retrospect, the kind of person you're not supposed to get involved with if you have half a brain."

"A bad boy," Ray concluded.

Jonathan nodded. "Yes, a bad boy. Sure, that had its appeal. We snuck around, fooled around, played a little too close to the fire. Especially him. The first time I saw him high as a kite, I had no idea what to say. And he told me not to preach, so I didn't."

He stopped again.

"Did he press you into doing the same thing?" Ray asked.

"A few times. But he wasn't the kind to share, and at least I didn't do drugs because of him. The thing is, we were bound to get caught, and we did." Jonathan closed his eyes, revisiting that memory only briefly. "In the most embarrassing manner possible, especially for me. And he pushed it all on me, blaming me for everything."

"For the drugs?"

Jonathan could feel the same tunnel vision narrowing his field of view as it had then. "Not only." He didn't continue. "The school didn't want such a scandal on their hands, but they had one, and measures had to be taken. So, parents were called, students were scolded... and, in the end, everything went hush-hush without getting the police involved. The school surely didn't want that kind of thing."

"And your parents?" Ray asked quietly.

"Oh," Jonathan said, "they stood there, looking at me like they didn't know me. Like I wasn't their son. They believed every single word they were told by those strangers and didn't listen to me at all. For weeks, I lived like a ghost in my own house. Or should I say, their house? I was invisible, no matter how hard I tried to mend things with them. You see, Ray? I committed the unthinkable and created a situation for them that would ruin their image in the world. Not something they wanted to live with, obviously."

A small sniffle took him by surprise. Jonathan's eyes softened as he took in Ray who was rubbing his nose and blinking hard. He offered a comforting hand and Ray took it. "I can't imagine my mom and dad not talking to me," his roommate said. "I'd probably become dead with grief in a day or so."

Jonathan laughed and pulled Ray into a hug, as much as the table and tea mugs between them allowed. "See? There's one reason I don't talk about these things. They make people cry," he joked.

Ray sniffled again but then snickered. However, his face was serious when they broke their hug. "It wasn't your fault, JJ. Sometimes bad things happen to good people."

Jonathan forced a small smile. "I have my own self to blame for my part in everything. I was blind to who Drew really was, preferring not to see that he was a bad person because I was stupidly in love with him."

"Hence the thing with not dating bad boys?" Ray asked.

"I suppose so, yes."

"Well, Maddox is not a bad boy, so you have nothing to worry about," his roommate said promptly.

"You think? But we only hooked up," Jonathan insisted, not ready to give up yet on the flimsy armor he had built for himself. He knew Maddox wasn't a bad boy, but that wasn't the issue, not by a long shot.

"I mean, I know that Xpress reports a lot of crap to make him into a sexy villain because Sunny Hill apparently doesn't have one, but it all sounds like make-believe to me."

"Well, it looks like I don't have to worry anymore about your believing that tabloid and the incredible things written in there. Let's drink to that," Jonathan said and raised his mug.

He took a small sip and his entire face froze in an effort not to turn into a gargoyle grimace, but Ray didn't hesitate to take a mouthful.

The next moment, he jumped to his feet and rushed to the sink. "Bleargh! What the hell? JJ, don't drink it," Ray warned after heaving for a few moments. "I'm sure you'll die if you do."

Jonathan laughed but quickly filled a glass with water and handed it to Ray. "Moderation is the key," he offered. "And I hope Hanna is a bit more adept around the teapot than you are."

Ray breathed deeply after drinking half the glass of water. "I hope so, too, or we might be the first couple to die because of drinking bad tea. Not a very romantic death, either."

"I suppose not," Jonathan said with a small laugh. "Although I'm sure there are even more boring ways to die."

It truly felt good to have gotten all of that off his chest.

"Wait, and you haven't seen your family in how long?" Ray asked.

"More than half a year now," Jonathan said.

"And haven't talked to them, either?"

Jonathan shook his head.

"Don't you miss them?"

"I do, but I'm not ready yet to extend an olive branch. Plus, I doubt they expect a peace offering. I don't exclude the possibility that they believe things to be better this way."

Ray wrapped him in another tight hug. Jonathan patted his curly head with affection. "Don't worry about me, Ray. It feels quite liberating to be in charge for once. That's why I can't afford to get too involved with Maddox. Yes, I know he's not a bad guy, but he's, let's face it, straight and with a record of breaking hearts. You cannot blame me for not wanting to have mine broken, as well."

"I'm not sure about the heartbreaking part," Ray replied. "I mean, he only had fun, the way I see it."

"Yes, fun. And nothing's different when he has fun with me. I definitely intend to leave it at that."

Ray squirmed a little like there were other things he wanted to say, but in the end, he chose to remain silent. Nonetheless, Jonathan could tell that the gears inside his roommate's head were turning. That was something that he would have to deal with later, of course, but for now, he would let it slide.

***

"So, where were you and what did you do?" Maddox questioned Dex the moment his friend walked through the door.

"I had a little talk with your boyfriend," Dex replied promptly.

"I knew it! What did you say to him?" Maddox still felt a little restless after his fight with Rusty. It was dead silent upstairs, a sign that Rusty hadn't chosen to leave his room for one single moment. Not like Maddox was keen on bothering him since that would surely lead to other unpleasant things. He still couldn't wrap his head around why his best bro had done something stupid like that. Kane had already assured him that he would pick Rusty's brain apart to find out what was really in there.

"I told him to stop being a coward and pick up the phone," Dex said, not one ounce impressed by how Maddox looked at him, with murder written all over his face.

"Only that?" Maddox narrowed his eyes.

"I also told him that he should have taught Rusty a lesson for touching him without permission, preferably with a punch to the face."

Maddox opened his mouth to protect Jonathan but then reconsidered. Right. Jonathan had been quick to smack him in the nose when he had tried to kiss him, so how come he was so forgiving with an asshole like Rusty?

"What did he say?" he asked instead.

"He told me that you two hooked up and now you're done," Dex offered without as little as a blink.

"What? Done?" Maddox hadn't expected that to hurt so suddenly, but he recoiled from Dex's words like they were a physical blow. "We can't be done! It has to be something you said! Jonathan likes me!"

"Are you going to stomp your foot while you're at it?"

Maddox huffed loudly. "Why do you all think this is some kind of freaking joke? Don't look at Kane with those all-knowing eyes! You don't think I notice? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Buddy, chill," Dex recommended, completely unfazed by his bout of anger. "Kane and I don't think you're really serious about this guy."

Maddox's mouth gaped like a fish's. "What the hell?" he sputtered. "Do I need a fucking neon sign to tell you that I am really freaking serious about Jonathan?"

"You are?" Dex asked and towered over him in quite a menacing manner.

Maddox set his chin up. "Yeah, I am. And you should know me better."

"I do know you. You're the king of hookups. Or just because it's so last year it doesn't matter anymore?"

He couldn't really argue with that, but that didn't mean that Dex wasn't pissing him off.

"Dex," Kane warned, "lay off a little. Our boy here is figuring things out. He needs time."

"I don't need time," Maddox bristled and turned toward Kane.

"Then what?" Kane asked and crossed his arms over his chest. "Why are you hiding if you're sure you like Jonathan Hamilton so much, and he's not just another hookup? Actually, you've never hidden your hookups."

"Exactly!" Maddox said like that had to be the most obvious thing ever.

"So you're treating this guy worse than a hookup," Kane concluded.

Maddox was speechless this time. For like two beats. "Why would you think something stupid like that?"

"Because," Dex intervened again, "there's nothing to hide. You and Hamilton both act like there is. Are you afraid your reputation," he said and hooked his fingers in the air to emphasize the word, "will suffer if you date a guy?"

"No!" Maddox replied fiercely. "I'm not afraid of that! I don't care about my reputation or whatever. It's just that Jonathan wants-" He swallowed his words. Jonathan's secrets, whatever they were, belonged only to him.

"And you're letting him? Why?" Dex insisted.

Maddox stopped his angry tirade again. He didn't really have a `why'.

"As I thought," Dex continued. "You didn't care enough to find out."

Maddox frowned and clenched his fists hard. This time, he rushed up the stairs, ignoring the possibility that he could end up knocking heads with Rusty. All his buddies were assholes, he concluded, as he walked inside his room and slammed the door behind him loud enough to peel paint downstairs.

***

Why did Dex have to be right all the freaking time? It was so damned annoying! So yeah, he had been pretty much caught up with wanting to bone Jonathan, and that had left him little time to think with his other head.

Was he serious about Jonathan? Sure thing he was. Did he want to go with him on real dates and present him to people as his boyfriend? Hell yeah! Had he been nothing but a horny bastard, wanting to get Jonathan to do the horizontal cha-cha as soon as possible? Thousand times yes, and that meant that they hadn't bothered with other stuff.

But Dex was wrong, too. Maddox wanted to know the big `why', and it wasn't his fault Jonathan was a closed book.

He searched the ceiling for answers he didn't have. Was Jonathan playing him for a fool? The thought was a bit chilling. Sure thing, the guy had admitted to having the hots for him and badly, but that only spoke of the physical attraction between them, which was pretty much insane but couldn't take the place of a full-fledged relationship.

Maddox groaned, rolled on his belly and buried his face in his pillow. When had things gotten so complicated for him? Before, things were so freaking simple. Except for Kane, his friends were all hooking up without even giving a thought to building a relationship. So the fact that he had wanted Jonathan so badly made him the bad guy how?

He wrapped his hands around the back of his head and pressed it down. Maybe if he suffocated himself a little, he would be able to see things more clearly.

It didn't seem to be working.

Rusty had messed up by touching Jonathan like an idiot. Dex had messed up by forcing Jonathan to admit that he and Maddox were only hooking up. Great, now the guy thought Maddox only cared about sharing his love life with his buddies. And Kane was an asshole, too, because he thought Maddox was treating Jonathan as less than even a hookup!

He rolled onto his back and returned his eyes to the contemplation of his old friend, the ceiling. Maybe he was the biggest asshole of all, by letting himself be led around by his dick and wanting nothing than to give it to Jonathan like a freaking dog in heat.

But Jonathan, now Maddox's gears had begun to turn, was a bit of an asshole, too. Who did he think he was to believe that he knew everything about Maddox without even bothering to get to know him?

They were both totally lame at this relationship thing. That was the simple truth. Who ignores so many messages, Maddox thought with growing irritation. Last night had been great, and if he only closed his eyes, he could remember clearly how Jonathan had felt all coiled around him, hot like a freaking furnace. Their bodies weren't fools; they knew the deal. Only their owners were freaking morons.

Maddox covered his face and sighed. He had no idea what to do. He was still pissed at his buddies. They were right, but that didn't mean they were allowed to think so. Except for Rusty. He was still an uber-asshole.

And he was pissed at Jonathan, he realized, for not picking up the phone, for telling Dex they were done, for never saying anything about himself like he was some secret agent.

***

Jonathan gulped nervously as he finally gathered the courage to look at the messages Maddox had been sending him all morning.

Wakey-wakey, have you been dreaming of me? I know I dreamed of you.

I can barely wait to see you again.

You know what I'm thinking of? Hint, wipe the entire sentence except the first word.

Jonathan couldn't hold in a small chuckle. Maddox wasn't a bad guy. No, he was a great guy, but that was all the more reason not to pull him into the mess that was his life at the moment. Not until he figured things out for himself. The wisest course of action was to postpone all that boyfriend plan until his head was a lot clearer than it was right now.

He exhaled and pressed the call button.

***

Maddox eyed his phone suspiciously. He needed time to figure things out. Still, he had waited for that particular sexy asshole to call all day.

"Yeah?" he answered with an irritated scowl that Jonathan couldn't see but maybe could sense through the phone.

"Maddox, I... look, last night was great."

Yeah.

"And there's a `but' coming, right?" Maddox said instead.

"Right. Maybe we should stop."

"Maybe?"

"You're fighting your friends over me. It's not-"

Maddox bit on his bottom lip and next should have been his tongue, but he couldn't stop himself from saying it like it was. "Got you, Hamilton. No need to explain it. For the record, fuck you very much."

A small pause followed. "I don't understand why you're so mad at me."

"Oh, you don't? You do. But you're lame at this, and you know it."

"At what?"

"Just stop pretending. Once you do that, it will all make sense."

He ended the call with a vengeance. There, at least he wouldn't be the only one talking to the ceiling. Until he figured everything out, that would be his one and only true friend.

***

Jonathan pressed one hand over his chest. The physical pain was unexpected. It was true that he had called to end things, whatever they were, so why did he feel so devastated now? Maddox was mad. It was a completely normal reaction after having his messages ignored and his friends involved in all that drama. And Jonathan shouldn't have cared.

Right?

No.

Wrong.

TBC

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