Good Guys Don't Date Bad Boys – Ch. 19
By Laura S. Fox
Copyright © 2022 Laura S. Fox
All Rights Reserved
Gay Erotica
Intended for Mature Audiences Only
This story will contain graphic depictions of sexual intercourse, strong
language and it is not meant for readers who are less than 18 years of age.
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Chapter Nineteen – You're
Lame And You Know It
Jonathan pressed his
fingers against his temples and groaned. How had Maddox found out about that
incident? As much as he had been upset by Rusty taking such liberties with him,
the fact that Maddox had gotten into a fight with his friend seemed an exaggerated
reaction. Rusty must have told him; there was no other explanation.
And what did Dex want
anyway? If Jonathan thought about it, the football player was annoyingly right.
It didn't serve anyone for him to remain cooped up in his room, ignoring
Maddox's messages, and he should explain his part of the story.
He would do it later,
though. Dex had given him plenty of things to think about. What about him made
people believe that it was all right for them to treat him like he was nothing
but a spineless shmuck? Back in the day, Drew had obviously thought that, as he
had thrown all those accusations at him so heedlessly, as if there had never
been anything between them. Sure, Drew would have had plenty to lose if he had admitted
his active role, and especially the illegal things, but throwing Jonathan under
the bus so he could come out of it all squeaky clean... that had come easy to
him, so, so easy.
Which obviously meant
that Dex Solomon wasn't so wrong in his evaluation of one Jonathan Hamilton.
Something in the way he behaved, how he was, allowed others to ignore him and
his feelings. Even Maddox, as great a person as he was, considered it
acceptable to tell his friends about everything happening between them.
Jonathan hadn't said anything to that extent or level of detail to Ray, and the
difference hurt. Where did the private things start and where did they end?
Maybe Maddox had done it
without one ounce of ill intent, but it had been enough for Rusty to think Jonathan
was nothing but some joke.
Sure, Dex was right.
Maddox and Rusty shouldn't fight over that incident, especially since there was
nothing serious going on, Jonathan thought as his mood turned sourer and
sourer. It was best for him to distance himself from those boys as fast as he
could. The last thing he needed was another scandal.
"Are you all right, JJ?"
Ray's question startled
him. Jonathan hadn't even realized that he had remained in the hallway, leaning
against the wall and ruminating over what to do next.
"I'm..." he wanted to say
`fine', but he couldn't ignore the portion of truth that Dex had just served
him in raw form. It made him understand that there was something wrong in how
he acted, and he needed to stop right away. "I'm not fine," he breathed out.
Ray came by his side and
leaned against the wall, too. "Did Dex give you a hard time? What for? I'm
starting to hate him right now if that's what he did."
Jonathan shook his head.
"I spent last night with Maddox. Part of it."
"Was it good?" Ray asked,
a bit cautiously.
"Yes." He nodded eagerly.
"But it was only hooking up," he added quickly. "The thing is, and please,
please, Ray, don't tell anyone about this, not even Hanna, I stumbled upon
Rusty on my way out, and he did something stupid, and well, I..." he trailed off,
not knowing how to explain it because it suddenly seemed like such a storm in a
glass of water.
Ray took his hand. "Let
me make you some tea, and you can tell me everything."
It was a bit laughable
that Ray offered such a thing, but Jonathan didn't mind having someone caring
for him. If there was anything he had missed during this time, after his family
had believed every word coming out of Drew's mouth like it was freaking gospel,
it had to be exactly that – another soul minding if he didn't feel well or had
a problem.
***
"Your love life is so
complicated, but also a little funny," Ray concluded after Jonathan confessed
about the way he had come together with Maddox, omitting, of course, the racy
parts, and about the thing with Rusty that seemed to have blown out of
proportion literally overnight.
"Well, I'm glad I'm
making you laugh," Jonathan said and smiled, too. The moment he had started
talking, it felt like everything had been brought into the light of day and no
longer seemed so important.
"Maddox is crushing on
you so badly," Ray said and snickered. "Hanna told me he and Rusty have always
been very close, they're like the best bromance ever in the history of Sunny
Hill. One that will never be anything more than that," he added hurriedly and
eyed Jonathan with a bit of anxiety.
Jonathan had to chuckle.
He surely didn't worry about Maddox's bromance with Rusty being anything
resembling a problem. On the contrary, he wanted that bromance to live long and
prosper. "Well, it looks like I'm about to become some kind of bromance wrecker
then. Gawd, I hope Xpress doesn't get hold of this. I'll finally be ostracized
for life."
Ray laughed. "Come on,
JJ, they can't find out. I mean, I suppose that Maddox's friends will keep their
mouths shut, just like me. And no one else knows."
"But doesn't it frighten
you how many things those people writing Xpress appear to know?" Jonathan
asked. "That little online publication, I don't know, there's something deeply
wrong with it."
Ray dumped a fistful of
dried herbs into the boiling pot. Jonathan bit his tongue not to say anything.
When your roomie makes you tea, you drink it if it kills you.
"They're just speculating
most of the time. And I don't think anyone gets hurt," Ray commented.
"Until they do," Jonathan
murmured, lost in thought for a moment.
Ray came to the table
with two steaming mugs and placed one proudly in front of Jonathan. "Does your
dislike of silly tabloids have anything to do with that thing from your past
you never talk about?"
Jonathan wrapped his
hands around the mug. "In a way. Not that I appeared in some tabloid or
anything. Thank God, nothing of the kind." He hesitated. He had unloaded so
much already, maybe he could do with a little more.
"What kind did happen, though?"
Ray asked. "I mean, forget it, I know you don't want to talk about it."
Jonathan exhaled. "You're
right, I don't. But you're my bestie and just made tea for me." He raised the
mug in a salute. "Thing is, Ray, I left home and right now I'm no longer on
speaking terms with my family."
"Get out of here!" Ray
smacked the back of his hand against Jonathan's shoulder. "You ran away from
home? And did you live on the road? Like a gypsy?"
"I'm afraid nothing as
adventurous as that," Jonathan replied. "The thing is... I mean, my family, they
gave up on me when I needed them the most, and... I'm not entirely sure I'll ever
be able to forgive them." He sighed at the end of that sentence, the strength
drained out of him.
"Because you're gay?" Ray
asked slowly, and his big kind eyes filled with compassion.
Jonathan chuckled in the
most self-deprecating manner. "Trust me, that was the smallest part of it.
Compared to the rest, it must have felt to them like a slight disappointment."
He took a moment to muster the courage to continue. "I'll give you an abridged
version since I don't think I'm yet capable of revisiting everything in
detail."
Ray place a hand on his
arm in a compassionate gesture. "Sure. Say only what you're comfortable with
saying."
Jonathan took one deep
breath. "There was this guy Drew I was fooling around with. Well, he was
fooling around. I was very much serious about him. And he was, in retrospect,
the kind of person you're not supposed to get involved with if you have half a
brain."
"A bad boy," Ray
concluded.
Jonathan nodded. "Yes, a
bad boy. Sure, that had its appeal. We snuck around, fooled around, played a
little too close to the fire. Especially him. The first time I saw him high as
a kite, I had no idea what to say. And he told me not to preach, so I didn't."
He stopped again.
"Did he press you into
doing the same thing?" Ray asked.
"A few times. But he
wasn't the kind to share, and at least I didn't do drugs because of him. The thing
is, we were bound to get caught, and we did." Jonathan closed his eyes,
revisiting that memory only briefly. "In the most embarrassing manner possible,
especially for me. And he pushed it all on me, blaming me for everything."
"For the drugs?"
Jonathan could feel the
same tunnel vision narrowing his field of view as it had then. "Not only." He
didn't continue. "The school didn't want such a scandal on their hands, but
they had one, and measures had to be taken. So, parents were called, students
were scolded... and, in the end, everything went hush-hush without getting the
police involved. The school surely didn't want that kind of thing."
"And your parents?" Ray
asked quietly.
"Oh," Jonathan said,
"they stood there, looking at me like they didn't know me. Like I wasn't their
son. They believed every single word they were told by those strangers and
didn't listen to me at all. For weeks, I lived like a ghost in my own house. Or
should I say, their house? I was invisible, no matter how hard I tried to mend
things with them. You see, Ray? I committed the unthinkable and created a
situation for them that would ruin their image in the world. Not something they
wanted to live with, obviously."
A small sniffle took him
by surprise. Jonathan's eyes softened as he took in Ray who was rubbing his
nose and blinking hard. He offered a comforting hand and Ray took it. "I can't
imagine my mom and dad not talking to me," his roommate said. "I'd probably
become dead with grief in a day or so."
Jonathan laughed and
pulled Ray into a hug, as much as the table and tea mugs between them allowed. "See?
There's one reason I don't talk about these things. They make people cry," he
joked.
Ray sniffled again but
then snickered. However, his face was serious when they broke their hug. "It
wasn't your fault, JJ. Sometimes bad things happen to good people."
Jonathan forced a small
smile. "I have my own self to blame for my part in everything. I was blind to
who Drew really was, preferring not to see that he was a bad person because I
was stupidly in love with him."
"Hence the thing with not
dating bad boys?" Ray asked.
"I suppose so, yes."
"Well, Maddox is not a
bad boy, so you have nothing to worry about," his roommate said promptly.
"You think? But we only
hooked up," Jonathan insisted, not ready to give up yet on the flimsy armor he
had built for himself. He knew Maddox wasn't a bad boy, but that wasn't the
issue, not by a long shot.
"I mean, I know that
Xpress reports a lot of crap to make him into a sexy villain because Sunny Hill
apparently doesn't have one, but it all sounds like make-believe to me."
"Well, it looks like I
don't have to worry anymore about your believing that tabloid and the
incredible things written in there. Let's drink to that," Jonathan said and
raised his mug.
He took a small sip and
his entire face froze in an effort not to turn into a gargoyle grimace, but Ray
didn't hesitate to take a mouthful.
The next moment, he
jumped to his feet and rushed to the sink. "Bleargh!
What the hell? JJ, don't drink it," Ray warned after heaving for a few moments.
"I'm sure you'll die if you do."
Jonathan laughed but
quickly filled a glass with water and handed it to Ray. "Moderation is the
key," he offered. "And I hope Hanna is a bit more adept around the teapot than
you are."
Ray breathed deeply after
drinking half the glass of water. "I hope so, too, or we might be the first
couple to die because of drinking bad tea. Not a very romantic death, either."
"I suppose not," Jonathan
said with a small laugh. "Although I'm sure there are even more boring ways to
die."
It truly felt good to
have gotten all of that off his chest.
"Wait, and you haven't
seen your family in how long?" Ray asked.
"More than half a year
now," Jonathan said.
"And haven't talked to
them, either?"
Jonathan shook his head.
"Don't you miss them?"
"I do, but I'm not ready yet
to extend an olive branch. Plus, I doubt they expect a peace offering. I don't
exclude the possibility that they believe things to be better this way."
Ray wrapped him in
another tight hug. Jonathan patted his curly head with affection. "Don't worry
about me, Ray. It feels quite liberating to be in charge for once. That's why I
can't afford to get too involved with Maddox. Yes, I know he's not a bad guy,
but he's, let's face it, straight and with a record of breaking hearts. You
cannot blame me for not wanting to have mine broken, as well."
"I'm not sure about the
heartbreaking part," Ray replied. "I mean, he only had fun, the way I see it."
"Yes, fun. And nothing's
different when he has fun with me. I definitely intend to leave it at that."
Ray squirmed a little
like there were other things he wanted to say, but in the end, he chose to
remain silent. Nonetheless, Jonathan could tell that the gears inside his
roommate's head were turning. That was something that he would have to deal
with later, of course, but for now, he would let it slide.
***
"So, where were you and
what did you do?" Maddox questioned Dex the moment his friend walked through
the door.
"I had a little talk with
your boyfriend," Dex replied promptly.
"I knew it! What did you
say to him?" Maddox still felt a little restless after his fight with Rusty. It
was dead silent upstairs, a sign that Rusty hadn't chosen to leave his room for
one single moment. Not like Maddox was keen on bothering him since that would
surely lead to other unpleasant things. He still couldn't wrap his head around
why his best bro had done something stupid like that. Kane had already assured
him that he would pick Rusty's brain apart to find
out what was really in there.
"I told him to stop being
a coward and pick up the phone," Dex said, not one ounce impressed by how
Maddox looked at him, with murder written all over his face.
"Only that?" Maddox
narrowed his eyes.
"I also told him that he
should have taught Rusty a lesson for touching him without permission,
preferably with a punch to the face."
Maddox opened his mouth
to protect Jonathan but then reconsidered. Right. Jonathan had been quick to
smack him in the nose when he had tried to kiss him, so how come he was so
forgiving with an asshole like Rusty?
"What did he say?" he
asked instead.
"He told me that you two hooked
up and now you're done," Dex offered without as little as a blink.
"What? Done?" Maddox
hadn't expected that to hurt so suddenly, but he recoiled from Dex's words like they were a physical blow. "We can't be
done! It has to be something you said! Jonathan likes me!"
"Are you going to stomp
your foot while you're at it?"
Maddox huffed loudly.
"Why do you all think this is some kind of freaking joke? Don't look at Kane
with those all-knowing eyes! You don't think I notice? What's that supposed to mean?"
"Buddy, chill," Dex
recommended, completely unfazed by his bout of anger. "Kane and I don't think
you're really serious about this guy."
Maddox's mouth gaped like
a fish's. "What the hell?" he sputtered. "Do I need a fucking neon sign to tell
you that I am really freaking serious about Jonathan?"
"You are?" Dex asked and
towered over him in quite a menacing manner.
Maddox set his chin up.
"Yeah, I am. And you should know me better."
"I do know you. You're
the king of hookups. Or just because it's so last year it doesn't matter
anymore?"
He couldn't really argue
with that, but that didn't mean that Dex wasn't pissing him off.
"Dex," Kane warned, "lay
off a little. Our boy here is figuring things out. He needs time."
"I don't need time,"
Maddox bristled and turned toward Kane.
"Then what?" Kane asked
and crossed his arms over his chest. "Why are you hiding if you're sure you
like Jonathan Hamilton so much, and he's not just another hookup? Actually,
you've never hidden your hookups."
"Exactly!" Maddox said
like that had to be the most obvious thing ever.
"So you're treating this
guy worse than a hookup," Kane concluded.
Maddox was speechless
this time. For like two beats. "Why would you think something stupid like
that?"
"Because," Dex intervened
again, "there's nothing to hide. You and Hamilton both act like there is. Are
you afraid your reputation," he said and hooked his fingers in the air to
emphasize the word, "will suffer if you date a guy?"
"No!" Maddox replied
fiercely. "I'm not afraid of that! I don't care about my reputation or
whatever. It's just that Jonathan wants-" He swallowed his words. Jonathan's
secrets, whatever they were, belonged only to him.
"And you're letting him?
Why?" Dex insisted.
Maddox stopped his angry
tirade again. He didn't really have a `why'.
"As I thought," Dex continued.
"You didn't care enough to find out."
Maddox frowned and clenched
his fists hard. This time, he rushed up the stairs, ignoring the possibility that
he could end up knocking heads with Rusty. All his buddies were assholes, he
concluded, as he walked inside his room and slammed the door behind him loud
enough to peel paint downstairs.
***
Why did Dex have to be
right all the freaking time? It was so damned annoying! So yeah, he had been
pretty much caught up with wanting to bone Jonathan, and that had left him
little time to think with his other head.
Was he serious about
Jonathan? Sure thing he was. Did he want to go with him on real dates and
present him to people as his boyfriend? Hell yeah! Had he been nothing but a
horny bastard, wanting to get Jonathan to do the horizontal cha-cha as soon as
possible? Thousand times yes, and that meant that they hadn't bothered with
other stuff.
But Dex was wrong, too.
Maddox wanted to know the big `why', and it wasn't his fault Jonathan was a
closed book.
He searched the ceiling
for answers he didn't have. Was Jonathan playing him for a fool? The thought
was a bit chilling. Sure thing, the guy had admitted to having the hots for him
and badly, but that only spoke of the physical attraction between them, which
was pretty much insane but couldn't take the place of a full-fledged
relationship.
Maddox groaned, rolled on
his belly and buried his face in his pillow. When had things gotten so
complicated for him? Before, things were so freaking simple. Except for Kane,
his friends were all hooking up without even giving a thought to building a
relationship. So the fact that he had wanted Jonathan so badly made him the bad
guy how?
He wrapped his hands
around the back of his head and pressed it down. Maybe if he suffocated himself
a little, he would be able to see things more clearly.
It didn't seem to be
working.
Rusty had messed up by
touching Jonathan like an idiot. Dex had messed up by forcing Jonathan to admit
that he and Maddox were only hooking up. Great, now the guy thought Maddox only
cared about sharing his love life with his buddies. And Kane was an asshole,
too, because he thought Maddox was treating Jonathan as less than even a
hookup!
He rolled onto his back and
returned his eyes to the contemplation of his old friend, the ceiling. Maybe he
was the biggest asshole of all, by letting himself be led around by his dick
and wanting nothing than to give it to Jonathan like a freaking dog in heat.
But Jonathan, now
Maddox's gears had begun to turn, was a bit of an asshole, too. Who did he
think he was to believe that he knew everything about Maddox without even
bothering to get to know him?
They were both totally
lame at this relationship thing. That was the simple truth. Who ignores so many
messages, Maddox thought with growing irritation. Last
night had been great, and if he only closed his eyes, he could remember clearly
how Jonathan had felt all coiled around him, hot like a freaking furnace. Their
bodies weren't fools; they knew the deal. Only their owners were freaking
morons.
Maddox covered his face
and sighed. He had no idea what to do. He was still pissed at his buddies. They
were right, but that didn't mean they were allowed to think so. Except for
Rusty. He was still an uber-asshole.
And he was pissed at
Jonathan, he realized, for not picking up the phone, for telling Dex they were
done, for never saying anything about himself like he was some secret agent.
***
Jonathan gulped nervously
as he finally gathered the courage to look at the messages Maddox had been
sending him all morning.
Wakey-wakey,
have you been dreaming of me? I know I dreamed of you.
I
can barely wait to see you again.
You
know what I'm thinking of? Hint, wipe the entire sentence except the first
word.
Jonathan couldn't hold in
a small chuckle. Maddox wasn't a bad guy. No, he was a great guy, but that was
all the more reason not to pull him into the mess that was his life at the
moment. Not until he figured things out for himself. The wisest course of
action was to postpone all that boyfriend plan until his head was a lot clearer
than it was right now.
He exhaled and pressed
the call button.
***
Maddox eyed his phone
suspiciously. He needed time to figure things out. Still, he had waited for
that particular sexy asshole to call all day.
"Yeah?" he answered with
an irritated scowl that Jonathan couldn't see but maybe could sense through the
phone.
"Maddox, I... look, last
night was great."
Yeah.
"And there's a `but'
coming, right?" Maddox said instead.
"Right. Maybe we should
stop."
"Maybe?"
"You're fighting your
friends over me. It's not-"
Maddox bit on his bottom
lip and next should have been his tongue, but he couldn't stop himself from
saying it like it was. "Got you, Hamilton. No need to explain it. For the
record, fuck you very much."
A small pause followed.
"I don't understand why you're so mad at me."
"Oh, you don't? You do.
But you're lame at this, and you know it."
"At what?"
"Just stop pretending.
Once you do that, it will all make sense."
He ended the call with a
vengeance. There, at least he wouldn't be the only one talking to the ceiling.
Until he figured everything out, that would be his one and only true friend.
***
Jonathan pressed one hand
over his chest. The physical pain was unexpected. It was true that he had
called to end things, whatever they were, so why did he feel so devastated now?
Maddox was mad. It was a completely normal reaction after having his messages
ignored and his friends involved in all that drama. And Jonathan shouldn't have
cared.
Right?
No.
Wrong.
TBC
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