Good Guys Don't Date Bad Boys – Ch. 38
By Laura S. Fox
Copyright © 2022 Laura S. Fox
All Rights Reserved
Gay Erotica
Intended for Mature Audiences Only
This story will contain graphic depictions of sexual intercourse, strong
language and it is not meant for readers who are less than 18 years of age.
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Chapter Thirty-Eight –
The Power Of Long Letters
Jonathan had felt utterly
alone before. It shouldn't have registered as something new and never
experienced, and yet, it didn't fit. Time and time again, he reached for his
phone, the need to call someone too great. But each time, through sheer willpower,
he pulled his hand back and lay on the bed, his eyes on the ceiling.
Maddox didn't want to
listen to him. He could insist, go on and on about the same thing, or send
texts that would be left unread. Too bad there was so much technology involved;
before, when someone sent a letter, at least there was some uncertainty
involved. Whether the letter was left unread or not was left to fate alone, and
the sender didn't have to wallow in despair while looking at a shiny screen and
agonizing over the moment when they would be notified that their message had
been read.
He got up from the bed,
as the idea hit him. Who said he couldn't write a letter just like in olden
times? Jonathan liked to think that his handwriting was readable enough, and
that Maddox might get slightly curious at one point and open the letter that
was destined for his eyes only. Invigorated by this new idea, he sat at the
desk and grabbed his pen. What was he going to write now? Should he start with
a perfunctory `Dear Maddox'?
***
"Why are you sitting
there like there's fire underneath your ass?"
"None of your business,"
Maddox mumbled and stopped himself with great difficulty from checking his
phone for any signs of life and, of course, for the time. Ray had said that
Jonathan would return on Sunday evening, but who was to say if he was already
back or not? He fiddled with his phone anyway.
Kane plopped down on the
sofa, obviously determined not to let it drop. "Come on, what's going on?"
"I'm waiting for
Jonathan," Maddox said under his breath.
"Is he coming over?" Kane
asked patiently.
Maddox felt like
bursting. After stumbling over that confession, he had felt restless and happy,
but as the hours dragged by, even with all the mandatory studying and the
equally mandatory goofing around with Rusty, he still felt as if time stood
still. And with that, a new feeling, one that he hadn't experienced a lot in
his life, came. He was uncertain. What was Jonathan doing all alone, his phone
turned off? What if he changed his mind and decided during this alone-time that
he no longer wanted anything to do with him?
"No," he replied with
some difficulty.
"Then why are you waiting
for him here?" Kane asked in the same old and wise manner that usually got on
Maddox's nerves.
This time, his friend's
logic hit home. "Right," he said brightly. "Kane, you're a fucking genius." He
jumped to his feet. "I'm going to wait for him by his dorm."
"Hold on," Kane said and
caught his arm. "Rusty is tight-lipped as hell, and you're not saying a thing.
What's going on? First, you say Jonathan loves you, and then you're getting all
antsy like this, which, by the way, is nothing like you."
Maddox considered for a
moment. Kane would get it; he was the kind who wished to get married even
before finishing college, so he was, supposedly, to some degree, the romantic
type. So, he reached inside his pocket and took out the note that was now a bit
frayed at the edges.
Kane took it with a
slight frown, read it, and then grinned. "Wow. Did he write it?"
"Yeah," Maddox said.
"Shit, man," Kane said
and shook his head while leaning back on the sofa. "Coming from an icicle like Jonathan,
this is huge stuff."
"I know," Maddox said and
grabbed the note back. "But he left for the weekend and turned off his phone,
so I have no idea when he's coming back and, you know." He threw his arms in
the air in an exasperated gesture.
"I get it," Kane said and
nodded in sympathy. "Well, seeing how the finals are starting tomorrow, I bet
that Jonathan, who's all for perfect grades, will be back at a reasonable hour
tonight. Just go and wait for him in front of his dorm. But first, check to see
if he turned his phone back on."
Maddox smiled. Now that
was good advice. "Not yet," he said after checking his phone briefly.
"Then, no more waiting
around here, lover boy," Kane said with a grin. "Just go meet up with him. I
bet he's going to be all crazy about seeing you. In his very subdued,
gentleman-like manner, of course. He will probably let out a slight `yay'," he
added and made a small victory gesture with one hand.
Maddox didn't need any
more encouragement. He also had another idea. When Jonathan was going to turn
his phone back on, he was going to see his message first. He began typing as he
walked out the door.
***
Jonathan wasn't surprised
at the chime of incoming messages the moment he turned on his phone. He smiled
at Ray's emojis that signaled that his bestie was very, very hungry in his
absence, and his heart skipped a beat at seeing another message, this time from
Maddox.
As
some songs say, I've been a fool. I just want to say this. I found your note.
And I feel just the same. And now, I'm hanging out in front of your dorm,
wishing I wasn't stupid. It was just... well, I guess I went a bit nuts seeing
you with another guy even if it wasn't anything like that. So, can you forgive
me? I promise I'll work hard for that `yes'.
Jonathan slowed down.
Could Maddox be talking about that note? It had to be, although that was
something Maddox was supposed to find a lot later. A smile stretched his entire
face to the point of hurting. He was about to start running toward the dorm,
when his phone chimed with another incoming message. He opened it without
checking the sender, and his feet came to a screeching halt.
Knock,
knock, Hamilton... don't bother checking from whom this is. It looks like your
pristine reputation is anything but. Guess what's about to drop on Xpress next.
Not necessarily. It's up to you.
He recognized the video
from the first frames and closed it quickly. The air was rushing in and out of his
lungs, making him dizzy. Another message came.
We're
generous. We'll let you get through your finals, but after, transfer back to
the gilded hole you crawled from. That is if you don't want us to show the
entire Sunny Hill just who you truly are. Question: were
both of you high while shooting this little clip, or did you just hide it very
well? It doesn't matter. If you dare to come back to Sunny Hill after winter
break, Santa is going to bring you a belated gift. You know, the kind fit for
naughty kids.
PS.
Think of Maddox. Do you really want him to see you with another man's cock in
your mouth? (There's no actual timestamp, so...)
This couldn't be.
Jonathan forced himself to breathe. He sat down where he was on the sidewalk
and caught his head in his hands, while anger, guilt, and despair coursed
through him, breaking him in pieces. One mistake was all it took, didn't it?
One mistake and he was done for. He pressed the heels of his palms against his
eyes and let out a low groan. It was already late. No one else was there, and
if they were, they would think he was mad.
He had run away in the hope
that the past would have too short legs to catch up with him. What a false hope!
The past always caught up with you, no matter who you were. In this age of
shared information, how could he truly hope that the past would stay buried?
What was he going to do?
Was he going to wait and face the same treatment? All the looks, the sneers,
the laughter, but multiplied to fit the world of Sunny Hill, a lot bigger than
his old school? How was he going to live through that? Just imagining it left
him heaving and gasping for air.
And yes, there was also
Maddox. Maddox, who did love him and was also very jealous. No, he could be convinced
that it was an old thing, right? Jonathan rocked his body gently, trying to fit
inside his mind all the possibilities, all the hurt that came with something
like that, and realized that he couldn't, not by a long shot.
It took him several
minutes to push himself up to his feet and drag himself toward the dorm. Was it
Connor who was doing all this? Xpress was just a gossip rag, but this? This was
personal, not just something for the fun of it. Someone was out to hurt him,
and Jonathan could think of no one else but Connor, Connor who must have felt
deeply insulted the last time they talked.
"Jonathan?"
He was startled by the
sudden calling of his name and stared around, completely disoriented.
"Hey, are you all right?"
Maddox walked toward him, looking rightfully worried.
"I'm fine," he replied
quickly. "Um, what are you doing here?"
"I sent you a message
earlier."
Jonathan felt his phone
as heavy as a ten-pound rock in his pocket. "Right, yes, yes, I saw it." He
rubbed his temples. "It's... just not a good time. To talk, I mean."
Maddox stopped before
reaching him. "You're mad at me, right?"
Jonathan felt his temples
throbbing. He needed to find a place to hide. He just couldn't stay there
anymore. "You..." he pulled the words out of himself by force, "...you didn't
believe me."
Maddox took a small step
forward. "I get it. I totally do. I mean, all right, I was a huge jerk all
week. But--"
Jonathan moved away from
Maddox's touch. "We'll talk. Later. Now, I'm just... I need to go."
"Jonathan," Maddox called
out for him as he turned on his heel to leave. "I just want you to know, okay?"
His voice was soft like a breeze. "That I love you, too."
Jonathan felt the choking
growing unbearable. He just nodded and moved away. "I have to go, Maddox.
Goodbye." He rushed inside the dorm building, hoping that Maddox didn't follow.
And he didn't, which was the only blessing he could think of right now.
***
Maddox stood there,
overcome by guilt. Jonathan looked disturbed for some reason, and if things
were how they had been before, he would just hurry after him and hold him and
ask him what was wrong, but the chances were his boyfriend was like that
because of him, and that meant that he should just give him enough space to
process all that. They would come around, the both of them, and now, that
Jonathan was back, they had all the time in the world to make it right.
Still, a part of him
wanted to go after Jonathan and just take him in his arms. His phone rang, and
while he tried to ignore it for a few moments more, it sounded so insistent
that he decided to take it.
"Mom?" he asked, not
quite believing that she was calling at that hour. "Is everything all right?
Dad--"
"Everything's all right,"
his mom hurried to assure him. "I just wanted everyone else to be asleep so
that I could talk to you."
For a moment, he wanted
to tell her that it wasn't a good time, that he needed to think of how to talk
to Jonathan after hurting him like that, but he recalled on what terms he had
left home the last time, and ignoring her right now wasn't an option.
"All right," he said.
"How are you, mom? Are you still upset with me?"
"That is what I wanted to
talk to you about." A pause followed, and Maddox had learned to respect each
time that happened. It meant that his mom was choosing her words carefully, and
the message she wanted to convey was very important. "Maddox, you know me. I
just have a mean temper."
He laughed softly and
began walking back, toward his house. "I know that. I still recall that
spanking you gave me when I was eight because I broke dad's vintage radio."
A short, horrified gasp
at the other end assured him that she remembered as well. "I only slapped your
butt once. That was all. How can you call it a spanking?"
"That's what it felt
like," he said defensively, but then he began laughing. "I really did a bad
thing. I guess I was too curious."
"You didn't do anything
wrong, after all. And your dad had spares. Of course, he should have let me
know that before I spanked your ass."
Maddox shook his head in
mirth. Their mom rarely administered corporal punishment, hence the shock at
that time. But she had cooked his favorites for a week and even bought him a
new console, so the incident had been long forgiven, even if not forgotten.
"What did you want to
tell me?" he asked.
His mom drew a long sigh.
"I got ahead of myself the last time you were here, a bit too much. So, I took
some time and thought about it. What do you say about bringing Jonathan with
you for Christmas? At least for a day before or something like that, in case he
plans on going to see his parents later?"
Maddox felt his tongue
getting all tied up.
"I apologize for going
through the roof like that at Thanksgiving," she added.
"What made you change
your mind?" he asked.
"Your sister kept the
picture of you and him together. And she kept on sticking it under our noses
after you left. I believe that the boy is in love with you, Maddox," she said
softly.
He had the confirmation
of that right in his pocket. Only he didn't have the boy, too. How could he
explain that to his mom, though? He could try. "I kind of fucked up, mom."
"Language, Maddox," she
said with a sigh. "What did you fuck up?"
"I got jealous," he said
in a meek voice. "I believed what some people said, and I didn't believe him."
"If you got jealous,
that's because you're a Kingsley," his mom replied promptly. "So, do what all Kingsleys do. Apologize."
"I did, but--"
"No `buts'. I can see
that you like this boy a lot, Maddox."
"I love him," Maddox
insisted.
"I can see that you love
him," his mom corrected herself. "Then do your best. Bring him to us this
Christmas, or at least a day or two before. I know you can do it. Just be
insistent enough. It worked for your dad."
"For real?" Maddox asked
with a grin.
"Do you think we've
always been as calm and settled as you know us to be? Trust me, we had our very
turbulent phase."
"Um, tell me about it?"
"Another time. Your dad
just started to roam the house. He probably thinks I got abducted by aliens."
"Mom, dad doesn't believe
in aliens."
"Right. You don't know
what kind of documentaries he watches at night."
"I'll take your word for
it, then."
"Bring the boy with you,
Maddox. We want to meet him."
"I'll try, mom."
"Don't just try, do it.
That's the Kingsley way."
"Really? It sounded to me
like the slogan--"
"I need to go. Your dad
is getting close. Bye, pumpkin."
Maddox felt his good mood
returning. His mom was right. It wasn't like Kingsleys
to give up, and, sure thing, Jonathan deserved to be fought for, no matter what
that entailed. He threw another look at Jonathan's dorm, searching for his
window. No light was in sight, which meant that he must have gone to bed
already. Of course, finals week started tomorrow. Jonathan would want to get
his sleep so that he could perform well on the exams. And, most probably, he
needed to do the same. It wasn't like Jonathan had refused to talk to him or
anything like that; he had just said `later'.
So `later' it had to be.
***
Jonathan knew it would be
impossible to avoid Ray, so he repeated the words he needed to say while
climbing the stairs, words that would, possibly, stop his bestie from trying to
find out what was going on.
Ray opened the door
before he could reach for the handle, taking him by surprise. "JJ," he
exclaimed and hugged him tightly. Then, he pulled him inside. "Maddox came by
on Friday, you know? He so wants to get back together with you. Did you eat of
lot of junk food? I hope not. Everybody says it ruins your face, and you don't
want that now that Maddox--" Ray stopped his tirade and stared at him once they
were inside and behind the closed door. "JJ, what's wrong?"
It was impossible to
stop, he realized, as he took out his phone and handed it to Ray. "I won't be
able to return to Sunny Hill after Christmas break."
Ray blinked a few times,
and his eyes grew wide, but he didn't say a word as he took the phone. Jonathan
leaned against the door and closed his eyes. If there was someone in the entire
world in front of whom he didn't feel shame, it was this person who proved to
have such a big soul and accept him for who he was, no questions asked.
"This is awful," Ray
said, and Jonathan could tell that his bestie hadn't watched more than several
seconds to understand what the video was about. "They can't do this. They must be
punished."
Jonathan took his phone
back and headed for his room, all the energy drained out of him. He needed to
collapse and not think of anything. Finals started tomorrow, and he wouldn't be
able to think of anything else while focusing on them.
"JJ," Ray called after
him, "you're not going to do as they say."
"I have no choice, Ray,"
he replied. "I don't need a repetition of what happened at my previous school.
I hope you can understand."
"I don't and I won't,"
Ray said and followed him.
"Please don't turn on the
light." Jonathan lay on the bed face first and Ray sat by his side. He felt
Ray's sympathetic hand on his shoulder and closed his eyes.
"That was what they did
at your old school? Did they laugh at you?" Ray asked quietly while stroking his
shoulder.
"For days and weeks,
everywhere I went. At first, I thought I could just shrug it off," Jonathan
said in a monotone. "That I was this rebellious soul," he said with a snort,
"that did nothing according to the norm and whatnot. But it wasn't like that. I
was just this stupid guy who ended up sucking the wrong dick. And then became
the laughingstock of the entire school. Then, the pranks," he added and
stopped.
"If you don't want to
tell me--"
"No. I suppose I want to
tell someone, and I know you don't judge me."
"That's right," Ray
confirmed.
Jonathan covered his
face, as much as he could in that position. "I got the full treatment. Sex toys
left on my desk, nasty comments written on the bathroom walls, whispers behind
my back, and words thrown in my face. I had no idea a bunch of boys almost in
their twenties would be so hungry for this kind of thing," he said. "It was
like, finally, their lives had meaning. I was free game and their purpose was
to bring me down at all costs. And it was so easy."
"I hate those guys," Ray
said. "But Sunny Hill is different, Jonathan. You don't have to leave. Come on,
if it helps, I'll make a sex tape, too."
Jonathan laughed despite
feeling horribly down. "I don't think Hanna would agree to something like that,
Ray."
"It will be solo action,
then," Ray said with conviction. "Although, who would want to see me jerking
off?"
Jonathan sighed. "You
might be surprised, Ray. Don't sell yourself short. But jokes aside, people are
the same everywhere. If they see someone down, they'll kick them. It's just
human nature."
"Not my human nature,"
Ray countered.
"I know," Jonathan
replied quietly. "You're one of the best people I've ever met in my life."
"Maddox is a good person,
too," Ray reminded him.
"He is," Jonathan agreed.
"And I think I've made enough trouble for him as things stand."
"Why do you sound like
you're giving up on him? All because of Xpress? Sorry, I didn't mean to speak so
loudly."
"It's all right, Ray, you
don't have to apologize. The thing is, Maddox got jealous of Rusty, and he
didn't have a reason. Imagine how he's going to feel after seeing me... like
that."
Ray let out a long
exasperated groan. "JJ, you can't do that. I mean, all right, maybe you're
right about Maddox getting pissy, but he'll get over
it. I mean, it's not like you didn't have other guys before him. Even if it was
just the one. I mean, this one. Ugh, I suck at this, and I hate it."
"You don't, and you're
maybe right," Jonathan hurried to assure him. "But I need to think of what I'm
going to do. I can't face the same thing as before. I just can't. I know that
it might sound to you like it's not some big deal, but for me--"
"Say no more, JJ," Ray
said and squeezed his shoulder. "I understand what you went through. What we,
no, I need to do is to ensure that Sunny Hill is not going to be a repeat experience
for you."
"How are you going to do
that?"
"I have no idea right now,"
Ray said brightly. "But there's no way, there's absolutely no way that I'm
losing my bestie and my roommate. Especially one who is keeping me alive with good
food."
Jonathan laughed softly.
"Sometimes, I think you only like me for my food, Ray."
"That's not true. Do you
mind if I lie down with you?"
"No, not at all."
Jonathan scooted over to make room for Ray. There was comfort in having someone
so close. It was a sort of intimacy that had nothing to do with sex, yet it
made him feel as close to another human being as he could be.
"JJ, I've never told you
why I transferred."
Jonathan turned toward
Ray. "And I never asked. See, I'm not that good a bestie."
"Thing is, I never adapted
there. I was friends with some girls, and that was all. Since middle school,
you're the first boy friend I've made."
"That can't be true.
You're the kind of guy that everybody loves being friends with," Jonathan said.
"I'm telling you... It's
not like I was bullied or anything, but guys usually ignored me. Probably,
that's why the girls thought I was gay," Ray added as if he just got that
revelation. "And it's because of you that I've gotten to meet so many other
people. Did you know that I even won the wet t-shirt contest?"
Jonathan laughed with
Ray. "I remember being there, too."
"Oh, you were?" Ray
asked, feigning incredulity. "Funny thing, I don't recall seeing you there.
Probably because it was one of the high points of my social career. I just couldn't
see anyone else. I'm joking, JJ, but here, I've gotten into a totally different
world. I became friends with you instantly, and you even introduced me to the
most popular group on campus. And trust me when I tell you, Maddox and his
besties are nothing like the cliques where I came from. They have a right to be
called the Amazing Four, because, frankly, they're pretty amazing. Not like the
meatheads and other popular douches from other colleges."
"I suppose you're right."
"See? There are plenty of
good people here, at Sunny Hill. And there's also Hanna, and she's friends with
a lot of good people, too. Don't leave, JJ, not because of that stupid Xpress.
I promise I'll never visit that page again."
Jonathan appreciated
Ray's friendship and all that came with it. But it was a pretty huge ask, even
if it came from Ray, and he didn't believe himself ready to face the
possibility of that kind of situation again, nor would he ever be ready.
"We have finals to worry
about," he said in a voice he tried to keep light. "Let's ignore Xpress for now.
They told me that they would allow me to take my exams."
"Oh, really?" Ray
murmured. "What about Maddox?"
"Maddox," Jonathan said
with a heartfelt sigh. "I'll have to rely on the power of long letters."
"What's that?" Ray asked.
His bestie didn't insist
when he didn't answer. He lay there, by his side, without saying another word,
until he drifted off to sleep.
TBC
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