Date: Thu, 25 Feb 2021 06:22:10 +1100
From: Maxwell Dowling <maxieplus@hotmail.com>
Subject: Impossible Love 4

Chapter 4


My business was going great guns because it's now coming into summer and
the blooms are a plenty. I put an extra effort into my big bunches and
upped my prices. Gino and I very rarely sat on the steps because Maria
was always there and I am weaning myself off him, although once or twice
I would sit with him when she wasn't around and we would talk about the
market, but only after I had been for a run. Yes, I know I have tried to
avoid him but it's hard when he only works ten feet away and lives on
those stairs every night. I couldn't be rude to him because secretly I
still wanted him in my life. Many nights after seeing him and lusting
after him all day I would let my tears flow as I sat alone in my new
apartment.

I was forcing myself to become a regular everyday friend to Gino, not
someone who lusted after him all the time, and I am failing miserably. I
had my twice-weekly meet up at the park and now I have Mark, my twink
friend if I need anything more, and when I finally get back to the club,
I may get some new friends. I won't hang with Cal's friends because
other hunks hang around the club too, nicer looking ones. My nose looked
pretty normal after three weeks and the redness had gone, and I had
settled into my new place beautifully, I had even bought myself a new
washing machine.

On a balmy early evening I opened a bottle of wine and went outside. I
was enjoying the solitude when I heard a gentle voice, as I turned around
I saw that beautiful face, it was Luca and he had a glass of wine in his
hand.

"Good evening Luca, unwinding is the best part of the day, don't you
reckon?"

"Yes Antonio, I miss the family and looking out at the fields of vines
back home, here it's rooftops, miles of them. But it's good to unwind,
would you like another wine?"

"I have an opened bottle here thank you, we can have a drink together."
I got up and opened the fire escape gate then grabbed two cushions to sit
on, placing them on the metal walkway floor that joins the two apartments
to the staircase. I sat with my legs hanging over into space and my arms
over the handrail. He came back and paused but he must have figured it
out and sat with me doing the same thing.

"This is so nice Luca." I lifted my glass and saluted him and he did
the same.

I could also smell his flower-like aroma and when I turned to look at him
again I came face to face with an angel. He had shaved his semi beard off
so now I could see his square jaw and perfect lips.

"Do you have any family Antonio?"

"Yes, but just my Nona and Nono, they brought me up, my parents were
deceased many years ago. I have no brothers or sisters, just me. But I do
have a large contingent of uncles and aunties who I see quite often,
you?"

"I have more than you, three older brothers and both my parents are
alive, we have a rather large extended family."

"That's good, you will never get lonely with all that lot around you."

"Do you get lonely Antonio?"
"Sometimes, I don't get lonely in a sense. I get more frustrated
because I try hard to please the friends I have around me, they are more
family-like, but sometimes I fail miserably, so yes, I suppose I do get
lonely."

"That's very sad Antonio, I wish I could help you. I could be a friend
if you like, and I won't let you down." It's not his friendship I
need, it's himself, I want him, all of him, and now my frustrations come
to the front again.

"Do you have a girlfriend back home Luca?"

"No Antonio, I did have a lover for nearly one years but that went sour,
I guess I am here to get over it, to mend, to clear my mind, and like
you, I am also failing miserably."

"Well don't fall for the same type of person twice mate, otherwise you
will be in the same boat all your life, now that's a big fail."

"Have you ever had a lover Antonio?"

"Call me Ant, will you?"

"I like Antonio."

"Okay, so do I. Ant sounds like something you step on and I'm sick of
being stepped on, and no I have never had a lover. Someone I could call
my own, someone to hold each night, to make a home together, to cry on
their shoulder and to make love until dawn, no that's never happened to
me." I almost teared up at the thought of being alone for the rest of my
life.

"That's very sad Antonio, you had your nose done recently." It was a
statement, not a question.
"Yes Luca, my new friend, I was hit with a hockey stick in my teens and
it destroyed my nose, but it's all fixed now. It only took me ten years
to do something about it." I laughed.

"Well it looks very nice on your face, I liked the other one too, it was
very rugged."

"Really? I thought it was ugly, I never thought about it that way." I
poured myself another drink while he did the same and I am loving this
conversation. I couldn't look at him from where I sat and it annoyed me
that in this position I was missing out on the best part of the evening,
his face.

"Well I have to go now, I have an early morning appointment with a
buyer, thank you for our little friendship talk Antonio, I have enjoyed
myself immensely." He's going? What the fuck?

I was to find out during the week if I sat in the same spot now and then,
Luca would come and sit with me for ten minutes. We formed a sort of bond
but he said nothing to me about being gay, so I automatically treated him
as being straight. That first night I couldn't wait to go to bed as my
fist was eager to give me some loving, and his image made for a beautiful
orgasm.

Pat and I were a couple of gossips at work, she updated me on what was
happening in Gino's personal life and she finds out more than me because
she has a chain of friends who indirectly know him. She told me they had
been out looking for engagement rings on the weekend, but the girlfriend
wouldn't settle for any old one, hers had to be the biggest and the
best.

She had heard Gino wasn't too happy about it and they decided to wait
until the right one appeared. More and more I didn't interact with Gino,
I also got the feeling he wasn't going out of his way to be with me, I
suppose he's feeling guilty or embarrassed he didn't take my advice
now, and I don't care, I have a new drinking partner.

Gran and grandad had come to look at my apartment and they stayed for
lunch, she brought the food with them and left a ton more for me to
freeze. They loved it and grandad said he couldn't be prouder of me as I
had done so well. He also said I should start buying up the flats when
they become available, with the aim being of me owning the block.

Tonight I had dressed to impress and was a man with a plan. I am finally
going back to the club. I certainly don't want to hang with Cal's crowd
anymore, not because I am big-headed, it was because I am now on a level
playing field and I really can do this on my own.

They were all there and all I got apart from a hello or two was a lot of
staring, lip licking and more staring, so I moved away from them after
saying a quick hello to Cal. I was more comfortable leaning on the bar
and people watching. Mark was there and we had a good pashing session as
he passed by, he wants me to call him again so I promised I would, and I
will because he's a great lay.

"What's the matter Ant, my company not good enough for you?"

It was Cal in my ear, he was getting another drink.

"Not what you think Cal, I can do quite well on my own and I don't want
your friends to be embarrassed if I'm around."

"What do you mean?"

"They have been ignoring me for the past three months and I don't want
to give them any more of my valuable time, it was the hook name that
convinced me they weren't very nice guys." I stared him in the eyes
because I wanted to see his reaction to the hook name he called me behind
my back. I don't know whether he understood but as I said it I felt
someone come up behind me and Cal's eyes widened. I turned to see who it
was and came face to face with Luca, I smiled at him and said hello, he
said hi to me and Cal who proceeded to make himself at home almost
in-between us.

I laughed to myself when he offered to buy me a drink, it was obvious
Cal's was fresh so I said okay. He was about three inches taller than me
so my eyes could hide where they were looking, and boy they were looking
at everything, this man-boy was a god. Cal moved away for whatever reason
I didn't know, maybe he's a bit put off that Luca was ignoring him?

"Have you been here long?"

"About an hour Luca, I don't come here that often but tonight is a
special night for me and maybe it will be a long time until I come again,
or I might find another less noisy venue. Are you out looking for company
or just dropped in for a drink?" I was being bold tonight.

"A drink Ant, I was talking to Gino out the front and he said you headed
this way so I thought it's about time I got myself out of that flat and
mingled. I hate going to crowded places on my own."

"Well you found me, would you like to move somewhere less crowded?"

"Of course." He bade me to lead the way and he followed me to the outer
room which was a lot less noisy and at least had tables and chairs.

We settled at a table and clinked glasses before he leaned back and
surveyed the room. I looked at his mighty fine chest as his top two
buttons were open and I got a great nipple perve while he wasn't looking,
they were the size of fifty-cent pieces and I thought, what I couldn't do
to those? He was so European in his manner, a little more gentleman like,
polished to use a better word but still looking like a teenager, I can't
describe how he looked but he was beautiful in every way.

"So how long are you in Melbourne for again?"

"As I said, I'm here to set up the family business and to set up some
event work. I can take my time but I have to move to Brisbane in a few
weeks to do some business there also. Maybe a total of six months,
depends, my parents are leaving it all up to me." He looked far away.

"So you don't want to be here, do you? I get a feeling you're maybe a
little homesick?"

"Yes I am so desperately homesick for my brothers and parents, two of my
brothers will be here soon so that will be a godsend for me, I miss my
family very much but we ring and skype often."

"Well you have no wife or lover to go back to but I understand
families."

"Not anymore Antonio, I guess you could say I'm still hiding away
licking my wounds so to speak. I was involved in a very volatile
relationship and when this job came up my parents thought it would be
good for me to get out of Italy for a few months and have a rethink about
where my life is heading. In fact, Antonio between you and me I was
almost forced to come here because my family want me to see life out of a
relationship, but I'm not making a good job of it." He smiled at me,
his eyes were on me and I felt special he had opened up.
"So it's well and truly over then?"

"Yes, we broke up before I came here and I don't mind telling you he's
always on my mind, but it was a disaster from the start" So he is gay,
my heart skipped a beat.

"That's sad, you said volatile, was he mean to you?" He winced.

"Luca, you don't have to share anything with me if you just want a
drink and some company, I can do company very well, I have had a lot of
experience."

"It's ok Antonio. Yes, it wasn't a good relationship, I won't go into
the ins and outs but I wasn't alone in the relationship, many nights
there was an extra person or persons in our bedroom. I didn't like it
but I loved him, but he wanted to involve others in our private lives."
I did an awful thing and got a boner just thinking about it.

"So you wanted it to be a one on one relationship then?"

"Yes Antonio, but he didn't, so I left. My heart breaks but it had to
be done." He had another sip of his drink and I knew deep down this
isn't the real story, he has been hurt terribly, how could anyone do
such a thing to this beautiful human?

"Don't get me wrong, I didn't mind the threesomes, we fucked with some
awesome guys, but he was with them, not me, so I guess I got a little
jealous. It was everything else I hated, and I won't talk about it
because it's too personal."

"You don't have to tell me anything Luca my friend, but knowing you
survived it is enough, and for your information that's not how I see a
real relationship at all. I would be happy with just one guy, that's all
I ever wanted. I guess with the occasional third, if we both agree
depending on the depth of love wouldn't be out of the question. But I am
only fantasizing now, it will never happen to me, love has escaped me and
I don't expect it to arrive anytime soon."

"Have you ever been in a real relationship Antonio, I don't know
whether I have asked you that before?"

"Never, I don't get many offers, and before I had my nose done I was
branded and called names and generally in a no-go zone for a long time."

"And now?"

"Now I have a bit more sex than I ever had, I get sucked off twice a
week, I even made love to my hairdresser a few weeks ago so I'm doing
alright now, and believe me, that's what I call a good sex life." I
laughed.

"I didn't think your nose was that awful Antonio. I actually kind of
liked it, it sort of suited you. But having said that your new one is
pretty awesome too. I think we have had this conversation before." He
laughed. I sat forward and leaned on my elbows because I wanted to be
closer to him.

"So you are not fooling around while you're here?" I was cruising him
now but I don't think he picked up on that.

"Not at the moment, everything's raw, I have feelings for someone, and
it's confusing me because the person isn't my regular type or the type I
thought I could love. I have had only one or two lovers, nobody else. I
want to get to know him better because he fascinates me, I won't be
looking for any more nightmare partners in my life."

"Someone, you work with?"

"Someone I come in contact with most days, but as I said I am being very
cautious. Between you and me I would love to bend him over and have my
evil way with his ass, but I need to know a person more before I do that,
at least I think I do. Antonio, I am not good at picking up guys so as I
said it's all new to me and I have to work it all out in my head first, I
also take medicine to calm me so I can think normal. Nothing bad its
always been like that." He smiled, my stomach dropped again and I lost
that confidence I had ten minutes ago.

"Well good luck with that my friend, it sounds like you have weathered
the storm and come out the other end a better person." I started getting
a bit jealous, now I'm sort of in love and jealous of two men in my
life. He suddenly changed the subject and told me more about his family
and I told him about mine, it doesn't matter where you are in the world
if your Italian, food, and wine are the basics of every conversation. His
family owns a big vineyard and his mum runs it with an iron fist. I told
him my Gran never stops cooking and my grandad loves his vino, he
laughed. I was loving his company and was a bit nervous because it's not
every day I get to sit and talk with an absolute spunk, and I know I was
being watched by Cal's mates.

After talking and people watching for some time, he decided it was time
to go home. He was tired and needed to rest, I decided to have another
drink because he didn't invite me to go with him. I didn't feel put
out, rather I felt he wanted to be on his own, maybe his demons are still
with him, maybe he just wanted to be left alone.

I missed him when he left as I enjoyed our, `getting to know you'
moment, and he had horned me up so much I needed to get off. Mark was
leaning on the cistern and I was chockers up him within half an hour, he
seemed a little looser tonight so maybe I'm not his first fuck for the
night, also he was a little bit tipsy. I came buckets because I was
imagining I was fucking Luca, although I found it hard. After all, Mark
was white smooth, and hairless, but he had an awesome deep tunnel.

I walked home with my head in the clouds and fully spent, but I could
still feel Mark on my dick, and I cursed myself as I watched him go off
with another patron because I hadn't invited him home for the night. It
was when I got into bed I missed that ass the most, so I jacked off into
my short time towel then went to sleep. In the morning I did some more
unpacking and my place was looking mighty fine now. I hadn't felt the
need to unpack everything straight away, I usually got to it when I
needed an item. I had decided to buy some more furniture, after all this
place is forever so I may as well make it more like a comfortable home. I
headed for the furniture shop as I needed a new lounge suite and an extra
bed for the other bedroom and maybe a new TV.

After I ticked off the items I also decided to get new linen for both
beds and a coffee table. With that done I went to find a good cafe to sit
in the sun. I have work tomorrow so I won't go to the club again
tonight, but my dick is telling me it needs some more attention, Luca did
that to it. I sat in the sun and sipped my coffee and was watching people
pass by when the chair beside me was pulled out and a great looking
redheaded guy asked,

"Can I sit with you?"
"Of course, it looks like the place is filling up."

"My name's Ross, I saw you at the club last night." Oh dear, I am
getting to be well known, I had a giggle to myself.

"Ant, pleased to meet you, was I having fun?" I smiled.

"Yes, you were talking to that awesome Italian guy that's new in town."

"Luca, yes he's my neighbor."

"I see, so you didn't take him home then."

"No, did you score?

"No, and I'm as randy as a prisoner in solitary." He was smiling and
was cruising me so I thought why not jump in feet first? Twenty minutes
later he was in my bedroom and we were both chucking our clothes off and
he had an awesome body, he was even better when he gave me head, but it
went downhill from there on, he was getting a little rough and I don't
like rough. He was also a confirmed top and when he tried to fuck me I
almost screamed, well I did when he held me down and shoved his thick
eight inches up me, wham bam, thank you, mam. It was over in minutes and
I'm sure he split me in half, I didn't get off because while I was
catching my breath and checking for the blood, he was heading for the
front door.

My ass throbbed because he had been so rough and I wasn't used to it, I
had done it before but I could count on one hand how many times. I
showered and that eased it a bit so I sat and had more coffee and berated
myself for being so impulsive and stupid. I will at least try in the
future to find out what the other guy is into first, it never dawned on
me he was a bit into the rough stuff. I didn't go out for the rest of
the day and dozed on the old sofa on and off, my confidence had left me
again.

I slept on the sofa and was up again at four to go do my thing at the
market. My ass felt a little better but I shivered when I thought about
my stupidity, I have to be more careful in the future.

This morning was a little better weather-wise but I still had to put the
heater on, I moved around the wholesalers and got what I needed for the
week then I headed for the market. Gino was unloading by the time I got
there and he was staring at me again. I hope he doesn't want to have a
deep and meaningful moment with me, I wasn't in the mood.

I did my bouquets and set my buckets up, then did my cash register and by
this time the sun was coming out which was taking the chill from the air.
Pat arrived and made us a coffee, then Gino joined us.

"How's it going with Maria Gino?" She led the conversation.

"Okay, I guess I think I'm going to cool it a bit, she's a little out of
control at the moment."

"Please explain?" I just listened, I didn't want to get into it again
as he knows my thoughts and I bristled when he looked me in the eyes.

"Well we started looking at rings for seven hundred dollars now we are up
to nine grand, I don't want to spend that sort of money on a ring, there
are better things to spend it on like a honeymoon." I rolled my eyes
behind his back, Pat saw me and she stifled a grin.

"So you're having second thoughts again then?" She asked.

"Yes, I don't think she's the right person for me after all, I think I
can do better, I want a real partnership, not one based on money."

A customer came by and I served him then went back to my coffee, I
quickly drank that, and as Gino turned to me to say something I spied Cal
over at his stall so I walked off to go talk to him. I have no idea
whether Gino was pissed off or not that I ignored him.

"Good morning Cal, did you end up having a good time the other night?"

"Yes Ant, I tried to pick up a twink but he said he was exhausted, so I
went home alone."

"Oh, that's not like you mate." I was secretly happy inside.

"Well, I noticed you and him coming out of the toilets so I thought I
might have a go too." He laughed.

"Sorry mate, he's a great fuck so I'm sorry now I didn't take him
home."

"So you are sort of seeing each other then."

"Sort of, he's my hairdresser but I've only seen him out and about a
couple of times."

"Good for you Ant, this new nose is giving you so much more
confidence." He tapped my nose which was a little tender still. I
didn't want to tell him I was almost raped yesterday, it's none of his
business but I so wanted to talk to someone about it.

I went back to work to serve a few more customers and Gino was busy
running around filling bins and things, I didn't look at him at all,
it's his mess so he can deal with it.

Later in the morning, Pat came over and she started folding ribbons, I
had taught her how to make bows so she helped occasionally when she
wanted a register break.

"He's pissed off with you."

"Really, how could you tell that?" I sneered.

"Because you don't talk to him much anymore."

"Well he only has himself to blame Pat, I gave him my advice and he did
the opposite, so he can get stuffed."

"Your jealous aren't you?"

"Not at all, I was at first but not anymore, it's his life, he can live
it any way he wants to. Pat, I have a different life now and it doesn't
include a thick head fruiterer."

"He misses your talks on the front steps."

"Well, let him tell someone who cares." I served several more customers
and Pat went back to work.

When I was cleaning up Gino came over and asked me to have a vino with
him after work but I said I was busy, I will catch him next time. He
didn't look too happy with me, but I just didn't care anymore.

Back at home, I moped around for a while then I relented and went to find
Gino, he was sitting on the steps as usual so I sat and told him I had a
cancellation. There's something that draws me to him and it's not that
he's a thick head, I genuinely like his company sometimes, we don't
have to say anything just to have company is good and I hadn't seen Luca
around.

"So you are going to buy her a nine-thousand-dollar ring?"

"No, I can't justify that amount of cash Ant, is everything okay?"

"What do you mean?"

"With us I mean, is everything okay?"

"Yes Gino all's good, I'm a little off nowadays because I have been
getting some loving more than I got before, I'm finding it easier to pick
up guys, it's been a long time since I have had the confidence to do
that."

"It's your new nose, it suits you."

"Thanks." I blushed

"You know Ant I nearly went the other way years ago, long before I was
married."

"Really?"

"I had a gay friend at school and he gave me a head job at a party one
night, I went back for more but in the end I decided that wasn't the
path I wanted to go down."

"Well, I hope you liked him anyway."

"I did and I like yours too but as I said I can't go back there, not in
the full sense that is."

He didn't say anymore and my anger and disappointment in myself
resurfaced, so I am the second gay he's used up in his life, what else
hasn't he told me? We sat there for another half hour and I decided to
go for a run, maybe my silent lover will be out tonight and I have to get
rid of this pent up frustration, to clear my head of Gino's revelation. I
went upstairs and dressed in shorts and a tank top then I went down the
fire escape and started my run.

It was dark when I passed by the toilet block, I argued with myself
because this isn't what I want or need either but the pull was too hard.
My silent friend was in the cubical and I dropped my shorts poking my
stiff through the hole. It was awesome as usual and I nearly broke the
wall hanging off it and banging it relentlessly, I did his meat and it
was wonderful, he was gentle but came quickly. When I got back home I
showered and changed into sweats and a t-shirt when there was a knock on
the door so I answered it, standing there was a gorgeous bloke with a big
grin on his face.

"I found one." Luca held up a bottle of wine.

"Care to join me?" How could I refuse, maybe he will get drunk and I
can have my wicked way with him at last, I'm starring tonight?

"Come in." I was genuinely happy to see him, he's a fresh change from
my other miserable friend.

"I'll get some glasses, please sit down, my new suite hasn't arrived
yet so sorry about the springs." I laughed. He poured the wine and told
me it was made on his family's vineyard, he had finally received a
consignment of wines and wanted my opinion.

"It's Gino's, or my grandad's opinion you will be wanting. I just
drink it, sometimes it's bad but most times good, it depends on how much
I pay for it." I smiled parting with all my knowledge of wines.

"Well try this one, it's three a bottle."

"What, three hundred dollars?"

"Yes, Antonio please try it." I sipped the wine and yes it was the
latter, very good and so smooth, like liquid velvet.

"Yum, this is awesome Luca, and your family make this?"

"Yes, it's one of the better ones, of course, there are cheaper bottles
for the people that don't know their wines." He laughed then saluted me.

We talked more about the family business and his brothers and parents and
it all sounded pretty cozy in his little town in Italy. I told him some
more about my parents and childhood which was pretty vanilla and boring,
but I think we have had this conversation many times. But there was
something about him that made me feel relaxed in his company and he was
being genuinely interested in my life, no one has gone that far ever, and
no one has wanted to know about my schooldays. I prattled on how a beard
didn't suit him, he looked much fresher and younger without one, while he
said my three-day growth was awesome. And on and on we talked, about
nothing really as we finished the bottle. Now is the time he asks me for
a head job, but he didn't, he had to go and make some phone calls so we
made a date to do it all again sometime soon. Before I closed the door he
stopped and turned then he kissed me on the lips and said,

"Goodnight Antonio, and thank you." My fingers went to my lips and I
replied goodnight Luca back to him, then he disappeared up the hallway.

The next night he didn't come by, but Gino did. He was so drunk I
didn't let him in, so he was shouting to me through the door.

"Come on Ant, let me in, I need it Ant, come on make me happy again."

I pretended I wasn't home and he left stumbling down the staircase in his
drunken stupor.

Luca came out to see what the fuss was all about.

"What's going on Antonio?"
"He's drunk, hopefully he's gone to sleep it off."

"Are you all right?"
"I will be Luca, don't worry about me, goodnight."  I was embarrassed
and mad as hell Gino had even thought he could turn up for a blowjob in
the middle of the night, he will forget it happened, but I won't. If
things were different, I would have let him in, but it's hopeless, to use
his own words, so I won't go there again.

At the market in the morning, I made a joke out of him getting drunk
before he even tried to apologize to me. He looked terrible and I hope
his hangover hurts like hell.

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