Date: Wed, 4 Dec 2019 20:21:48 +0900
From: Jude St. Jude <judestjude2357@gmail.com>
Subject: Inadequate Men - Chapter 2 - At Jared's Place

Inadequate Men

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Chapter 2 -- At Jared's Place

They wound up back at Jared's place a little before 10 o'clock, having
stopped off for two large cans of Asahi beer in separate brown bags, which
they drank down as they walked. Once inside, Tom sat on Jared's couch while
Jared adjusted the mood lighting and chose an innocuous Sirius radio for
background jazz without distracting lyrics. He joined Tom on the couch, sat
really close to him, and then took the lead by pulling him close and
leaning in for a first kiss.

"So listen," Tom said, pulling back just a little.

For a second Jared's heart skipped a beat. Did I miss something? he
thought, and asked quickly, "Is everything OK?"

"Dude, yes," Tom assured him. "You know I want this, right? Because I do,
100 percent."

"So what's the problem, then?" Jared asked. He realized he was sounding
defensive, but couldn't help it with all his insecurities suddenly
triggered.

"Totally no problem, buddy. Trust me?"

Jared scanned Tom's face. His eyes were warm and sincere, and he was
smiling openly. "I want to," Jared answered.

"Me too," Tom said. "So let's do that."

"Do what?"

"Begin to trust each other. And I'll start. Jared, I'm happy to be here,
but I'm also nervous."

"How come you're nervous?" Jared asked.

"Aren't you?" Tom responded.

And he waited in silence while Jared thought about his answer. Maybe it was
six or seven seconds, but it felt like an eternity. Finally, Jared said
decisively, "No.... I'm terrified."

"Oh my God, me too," said Tom.

And as they both laughed together, the tension seemed to deflate from the
room, leaving them both breathless and attentive. Responding to the
feeling, Jared tickled Tom a bit a bit around his ribs, and Tom curled
happily into him. The motion sent them both tumbling onto the floor
together in front of the couch.

"OK, this works for sure," Tom said.

"Wait, even better," said Jared. He reached up onto the couch and pulled
down a large cushion. Placing it under Tom's head, he asked, "How's that?"
Tom smiled and nodded, and Jared put his head next to Tom's, and they
kissed again for a couple of minutes. For Jared, it felt even better than
before. Somehow, in just a few minutes, he felt closer to Tom, less keyed
up, less afraid of rejection.

"OK, I'm game." Jared said. "Can I ask you a question?"

Tom said, "Only if I can ask you one next."

"Deal." Jared took a breath. "What was going on for you in the shower
room?"

"You mean..." said Tom, holding the moment out suspensefully, "When we saw
each other naked for the first time?"

"Hell yeah, that," said Jared. Underneath, though, he realized that his
heartbeat had elevated in a way that was both nervous and delicious. On any
other night, 15 minutes into bringing a guy home, they probably would have
been naked in bed together. Tonight, he and Tom were just talking and still
had their clothes on, but his heart was racing in a way he didn't often
experience.

Tom was still hesitating in his answer. "Oh, boy, this is tough."

Jared immediately rushed in with, "It's OK, you don't have to answer..."

Tom interrupted, "No, I'm gonna answer for sure. I just didn't realize it
would be this tough." Jared resisted the impulse to jump in. Tom was
visibly shaking, and Jared felt powerfully drawn to him more at that
moment. He felt his dick suddenly pulsing in his pants as he sensed Tom's
vulnerability in that moment. Pressing his mouth to Tom's ear he said
gently, "Take all the time you need, dude. I'm loving this."

They kissed again, and Jared just let himself get swept up in the feeling
of being close to Tom. Damn, he liked this guy. His mind went back to the
shower room, that moment when they were turning towards each other. Except
for porn -- which got pretty predictable after a while -- it had been
months since Jared had seen another guy naked, let alone a good looking one
who looked to be available and interested. Maybe he should just start
tearing Tom's clothes off and let the conversation wait until afterwards.

After about a minute, though, he could feel Tom pulling away a little. Tom
leaned up on one elbow and said, "I guess I was convinced that I was about
to be rejected."

Jared's heart skipped a beat and he said, "I know the feeling." And then
added, "How come?"

Tom took a deep breath and then said, "I've kind of got a small one."

"It's OK, me too," Jared said instantly. "Dude, I can't believe I'm talking
about it."

"I know," Tom agreed, "It's OK. It's more than OK, it's amazing. How long
have you been hiding it?"

"Forever, dude," Jared said, "I mean, along the way, other guys have
obviously noticed."

"Yeah, like my two younger brothers," Tom said. "We went on a camping trip
with our dad, and it was the first time in like five years they had seen me
naked."

"How old were you?"

"I was 13, Eddie was 10, and Scott was 8. And I was always tall for my age,
too. That year, I'd just started growing hair, and I was pretty proud of
it. So before the trip, my dad says that the camp ground had communal
showers for the guys. I guess he was preparing us for the experience in
case we started having second thoughts."

"Were you nervous?" asked Jared.

"Not really. I mean, I'd seen my dad before, and he was pretty open when
getting in and out of the shower, no big deal. Of course, his looked huge
by comparison, but I was just a kid. But since I'd started growing hair
down there, I was spending a lot of time in the shower by myself. So I was
kind of looking forward to an excuse to show off in front of my little
brothers. I remember my dad had told us if we wanted to shower with our
bathing suits on, we could do that. But I really wanted my brothers to see
what they were missing. I guess that sounds kind of pervy, huh?"

"Dude," said Jared, "I was an only child. Anything with brothers is a total
fantasy with me."

Tom smiled mischievously, "OK, good to know."

"But what happened at the camp?" Jared prompted.

"So we get there, to this place that has a lake and volleyball and
horseback riding and a Taco truck and a million kids running around having
fun, and I'm all like, 'We should take a shower first cause we're sweaty
from the car ride.' I have no idea what my dad was thinking, but we ended
up going to the lake. We swam for hours, made friends with a bunch of other
kids, and then way, way later after the sun went down, that's when my dad
says we should all take showers. By that time, Eddie was in a really crappy
mood because he found out the cabins didn't have TV. He and Scotty wore
their bathing suits to the showers, but I was all ready to strip down like
my dad -- you know, the big men of the family.

"So we're in there, and I'm feeling really proud of myself taking a grown
up shower in front of my brothers while they're still in bathing suits. At
the same time, I'm feeling a little small next to my dad, cause he's got a
lot more hair than I do, that's for sure. Anyway, he leaves to dry off in
the changing area. And I start poking the bear with my little brothers,
like 'You know, when guys get older they don't shower wearing their bathing
suits.' At first, Eddie isn't buying it, but then suddenly Scotty pulls
down his bathing suit, and now Eddie is the only one wearing one. So Eddie
pulls his down, too. So we're all naked together for the first time in
years, and Scott points at me and says, 'Tom's got hair like Dad, but
Eddie's is bigger.'

"'No, he isn't.' I say, but then I look down and I can tell that Eddie has
also started puberty -- at 10! And even though he doesn't have any hair
down there yet, his dick and balls are, like, hefty. And with the lake
swimming, mine is shriveled down to practically nothing. Worse yet is the
look on Eddie's face, like, he doesn't even have to say a word because the
truth is on his side.

"That night, I was awake half the night trying to get over the feelings of
shame I was having. From then on, every once in a while when no one else
was around, Eddie would call me Little Brother, with this kind of smirk on
his face."

"Damn," said Jared, "I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but that
story has got me totally turned on."

Tom said, "If you take your shirt off right now, I promise not to take it
the wrong way."

"Both of us," said Jared. They both dropped onto their backs and pulled
their t-shirts up over their heads. Then, realizing the room was cold,
Jared reached behind the couch and pulled out a huge quilt comforter that
looked like a hand-me-down from a great aunt. He spread it over both of
them, then added, "I think the pants have to go, too." He and Tom both
undid their belts and the fronts of their pants, then slid them down under
the covers and kicked their way out of them.

Settling back into a comfortable position, and now feeling Tom's bare skin
on his own for the first time, Jared purred in contentment and Tom did the
same. "Dude, this feels good."

"I know," Tom said. "The whole thing feels good."

Jared added, "Earlier tonight, I was convinced you were this hung guy and I
was trying to figure how to get out of the shower without you seeing mine."

Tom said, "Little did you know -- uh, no pun intended."

Jared then said, "They called me Little Boy in high school," then told Tom
his own embarrassing shower-room story.

When he was done, Tom asked, "What was it like to get a late start with
puberty?"

Jared answered, "It wasn't a big deal until I saw what the other guys in
school looked like naked. I was an only child, so I didn't have a little
brother to point out my inadequacy."

Tom asked, "Did you feel inadequate, too?"

Jared didn't answer all at once. He felt comfortable with Tom, and knew he
could simply say yes and move on. But there was more to it than that. He
chose his next words carefully. "I still feel inadequate."

He didn't know what to expect -- maybe a pep talk. Instead, Tom moved in
closer, kissed him, and pulled the blanket over both of their heads, then
whispered in his ear. "Me too."

"Yeah?"

"For sure." Tom then steeled himself up and said, "I'm guessing you already
know this but...."

Jared waited.

"... what happened in the shower room... it wasn't just a one-time
thing. I'm pretty much a premature ejaculator all the time. So, if that's
not gonna work for you, it's OK and I understand."

Jared could feel how total Tom's shame was as he made this admission. He
had felt it in the shower room as Tom had struggled to no avail to hold
back from squirting. And, again, as he had done in the shower room, Jared
placed his hand on Tom's shoulder and said, "I told you, buddy, it's no
problem."

"Really?" asked Tom.

"100 percent, bud, really. I've felt so inadequate as a man for so long, do
you think I'm gonna turn around and make you feel that way?" Jared took a
breath, "Sounds like sex has been a huge issue for both of us, each in our
ways, right?"

"For sure."

Jared said, "So how about you and me make a deal right now, whenever we're
together: No shame, no pressure, no problems. Let's stop trying to live up
to what we think we're supposed to be as men when we get in bed
together. OK?"

"That works for me." Tom said. "Where have you been all my life?"

"I feel the same. So can I ask, are you worried it's gonna happen again
right now?"

Tom answered slowly, "Yeah, probably. I mean right now it's OK but...

"But what?" asked Jared.

"But the minute I take my underwear off, that's when it starts to happen. I
start to get so turned on that literally anything that touches my penis can
set me off. It's a real problem."

"Hey," said Jared. "Remember our deal. No problems, buddy. If you squirt 10
seconds into us playing together, no worries. OK?"

"Sure, that sounds great," said Tom.

"Anyway," Jared continued, "I kind of have the opposite problem."

"How do you mean?" Tom asked.

"Let's just say that if you're a quick finisher, I'm a slow starter. It's
part of my whole inadequacy thing. It's hard to explain." Jared left space
for Tom to talk, but Tom was just listening, so he continued. "When I
really like a guy, it's hard for me to believe that he's really gonna like
me back. I guess I kind of panic at first, and it keeps me from getting
hard right away. And that keeps me from enjoying being with a guy, which
makes the problem even worse."

"I can relate," Tom said, "When I'm with a guy, I'm usually so worried the
whole time about cumming too soon that I end up missing out on the fun."

At that moment, Jared suddenly pulled in Tom tighter and started kissing
him passionately. He just felt a deep, sudden longing to be closer to
him. Tom felt it too and responded immediately, dropping all defenses. It
felt so good to just be with a guy and not completely hung up the whole
time on whether he was going to be able to hold off from shooting. So he
let himself just take Jared at his word and if it happened, it happened.

When the kissing subsided, Jared whispered in Tom's ear, "I've got an idea,
if you're OK with it."

"I'm open," Tom whispered back.

"Let's not hold back with each other," Jared whispered, "Let's tell each
other everything, starting with all the embarrassing stuff we've been
hiding all these years."

"OK," Tom whispered in return. "Who starts?"

Steeling himself up, Jared whispered "Tom, listen -- my penis is really
small."

"Hey, Jared," Tom whispered back, "My penis is really small, too. It makes
me feel really inadequate as a man."

"Me too, Tom, I feel inadequate, too. I feel like I don't measure up as a
man. When I measure it without cheating, it's only a little over 3 inches
long."

"Jared, mine is under 4 inches, too, but it's really thin, like a pencil."

Jared pulled Tom close again and kissed him deeply. It felt so good sharing
like this. Both men were trembling with nervousness. "Tom, I feel so close
to you right now. Can we take our underwear off?" Tom responded by reaching
under the covers and pulling his boxers down, and Jared did the same and
then said, "Tom, can I tell you something?"

"Sure, Jared, anything."

"Tom, right now, I'm really, really turned on, but my penis still isn't
fully hard yet. Is that OK?"

Tom kissed Jared over and over again, first passionately on the lips and
then more softly on his cheeks, forehead, and eyebrows. "Jared, you never
have to worry about that with me."

At hearing those words, Jared felt his heart jump with joy. "Tom, it feels
so good to hear you say that. I really trust you now."

"Me too, Jared. Can I tell you something?"

"Yes, Tom,"

"Jared, my penis is fully erect now, but I'm getting so close to cumming, I
don't know how much longer I can hold it. It happened once with you
already, and if it happens again, I'm so scared you're gonna laugh and then
reject me."

"Tom, it's OK. I promise I would never do that. Is that why you're holding
your penis back away from my body, to hold back from cumming?"

Experiencing a wave of embarrassment, Tom admitted. "Yes."

"It's OK, Tom, but you don't have to do that. I want you to rub it up
against me. But my penis is still only kind of semi hard. It makes me feel
so inadequate."

Tom responded by closing the distance between himself and Jared, letting
their penises touch for the first time. Then he pulled back, "Jared, if I
keep going, I'm not gonna be able to control it."

Jared reassured him, "You don't have to, Tom, it's OK."

"But a man should be able to hold it longer than just a few seconds."

"It's OK, buddy, let it go." Jared pressed himself more firmly up against
Tom stiff, straining penis. The he reached down and gently took Tom's penis
in his hand. As thin as it was, Tom could feel how rock hard it was and,
knowing how much Tom was struggling, Jared was careful not to grip it too
hard or rub it in any way that would give him too much stimulation. "Does
that feel OK?" he asked.

Tom answered, "That feels SOOO good when you hold it like that. But I don't
know how long... I'm trying so hard," Tom whimpered, "I'm trying,
Jared....I just can't.... hold it in...." Jared pressed his mouth against
Tom's as the uncontrollable spasms started, and Tom's penis started to
unload into Jared's hand. Jared rubbed in response and Tom cried out as the
feeling intensified. At the same time, Tom felt the reassurance of Jared
kissing him more and more deeply, and gave into the feeling at last,
letting himself just empty completely into Jared's hand.

As the waves of pleasure peaked and then more slowly subsided, Tom could
feel that Jared was completely there with him in a way that no man had ever
been before. And he knew at that moment that he was falling hard for Jared
and would probably feel that way for a very long time.


To be continued...

Thanks for reading. If you're liking how the story is unfolding, please
contact me at judestjude2357@gmail.com. I'd be glad to hear any feedback
you have about how to make this story and series better going
forward. Thanks again! TJ