Date: Sun, 5 Sep 2010 23:15:55 -0200 From: JT Ogden Subject: Living On the Atlantic: Chapter 2 (Beginnings Section) "Fuck Tim!!!! It's not always about you?" Derek was getting pissed and Jared was just staring at us. I was pissed, but the magnitude of what Jared had just told me was starting to get through... I was starting to see the absolute fear in his eyes, and the absolute rage in Derek' eyes. Wait, why was Derek pissed? I am allowed to feel what I am feeling. "Fuck off Derek! You guys had this enormous secret from me, and what, I am not allowed to be angry! Fuck you Derek! Your supposed to be my best bud. Man, can't you fucking see it from my perspective." "Shut the hell up Tim. Look at what your doing to Jare. I thought you were better, but you just like the other fucktards, I will never forget this" With that, Derek got up, looked at the shattered picture of the three of us, shook his head and left. I had never seen Derek like this, wait, that's not exactly true. The day I first met Jared, is the only other time. Anyway, lets get back to the story. It was the lunch after the whole Tim Horton's incident, and I was having lunch at my desk, as per normal. I am a firm believer that breaks just means you will have to work late. So, I figure that if I put all my effort for the hours I am at work, then my time is exactly that. My time! Pretty cocky for someone on the ground level trying to work his way up the corporate ladder, but its how I felt. Anyway, Derek came up and asked if we could go for a walk. I was new and I finally felt I had made some friends, so I felt kinda compelled to go with him. We left the building and started walking towards Citadel Hill. (For those of you who do not know, Citadel Hill is a giant fortress from when the French and British were fighting over North America, on this giant hill in the middle of Halifax.) Derek and I were walking and shooting the shit, I learned that he and Jared were orphans. I guess you aren't really an orphan when your 25 (which is how old they were), but that their parents and younger brother and sister were killed in a motor vehicle accident 5 years ago. Then, came something I was not prepared for. "Tim, you seem like a quiet guy, so its hard to read you, but I hope I have got you pegged right, but if I don't, and you fuck with my brother and hurt him, you will be dead. I should not have let you know that my brother is gay, but now that you do, I am warning you. This is not a threat. it's a promise! He been through enough for one life." Wow, this was intense. I really did not know what to say. There was so much intensity in his eyes. Its terrifying but strangely passionate at the same time. "Dude, listen, I don't know anything about Jared. I have met him for like 5 minutes. Hell, I know more about him from you, than himself. Heck, I am wanting friends. That's all. I am not looking for anything really." This was already complicated, and I was getting scared. Too much. "Man, I am sorry. I am very protective of my brother. He's all I have left. I am sorry to have jumped the gun. Forgive me." "Sure man... Trust me." and with that we fist pumped and continued our lunch walk joking like two guys enjoying the July day. The rest of the day was uneventful, which for me is an absolutely good thing, as I was starting to work myself up about tonight. What was tonight? Was it a date? Was I his type? Is he my type? Were we going to be friends? Was he just being nice? I had no idea. I think if I would have had his number, I probably would have came up with some excuse to skip tonight. But I was not going to stand him up, I wasn't that type of guy, but even if I was, my chat with Derek kinda put any of those thoughts out the window. So work ended at 5 as per normal, so I quickly got up and left the building, hoping not to run into Derek any more. I liked Derek, but he made me more nervous about `hanging out" with Jared, than I could have possibly myself. So I ran out of the office and jogged all the way home. Now that in itself showed me how much nerves I had, as I do not jog! When I play sports, its like Baseball or tennis. Short bursts of speed, but nothing of straight endurance. However, I jogged , more like sprinted home, only to stop for traffic, until I made it to my apartment. I went home and then spent the next hour, yes the next hour, to decide what I was going to wear. It was quite pathetic in hind sight, but I was nervous. I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but what I did know is that I was inexperienced with this scene. Yes I was gay, but I wasn't overt. I had only 2 partners in my young life, and both of them was them being the dominant one. I guess I lucked into them. Neither of them was serious, just fuck buddies. They were friends with benefits. Someone to get rid of those primal urges. Never any emotions attached. Then it hit me. What a moron I am. I have completely overanalyzed the situation based on meeting a guy for five minutes. Once I came to that realization, I felt a calm come over me and I went on auto-pilot and got ready like I was hanging out with the guys in Toronto. A good pair of jeans, and a orange polo shirt. I showered, got ready and realized I was cutting the time awfully close, and kicked it over to Jared's. Once I arrived at the twins condo, I went in and knocked on Jared's door. There was no answer. I knocked again, and I could hear a "What?" I knocked again, and the door opened. "What?" asked a sleepy-eyed Jared. He came to the door in a grey wife-beater and a pair of plaid boxers. Man, did he look hot. He wasn't even trying and I was blown away. "Hey Jared, what's up." with a nervous chuckle as it seemed that I had disturbed him. "Oh Tim man, Fuck I am sorry, I was sleeping, I wasn't feeling too hot earlier." "Oh Jared, man, if your not feeling so well, we can do this again. I mean, all I was truly expected to get my shirt back." "No man, I am feeling a lot better man. Come in." "really man, I really don't mind." "No, I have been cooped up in here alone all day, I am sure some fresh air is all I need. Give me ten and I will be ready and we can hit the town." "cool, take your time. I will be over talking to Derek while I wait." "How do you know Derek?" "I ran into him this morning on my way out this morning. He works at the same office as me. He filled me in on how you guys are twins." Jared started looking apprehensive, and a little nervous. "Really, it's all good Jared, just go get ready." Jared went back into his condo and I walked over to Derek's door and knocked. "Hey Tim" Derek greeted me "Hey man, do you mind if I hang while I wait for your brother to get ready?" "He was sleeping wasn't he. He has been a lot. He hasn't been feeling so great." "So he said, I tried to let him go back to sleep and say we would do this again at another time but he insisted he was feeling better." "He probably is then... yeah come in, I am just getting some dinner ready for me and my girlfriend Jenn." I then tried not to be a bother, but he assured me that his girlfriend wouldn't be arriving for at least an half hour. I went into his apartment, and saw the most amazing pad. It was so neat and clean with these beautiful paintings on the wall. He explained to me that Jared had painted these. That is what he does for a living. There was this one painting above his fireplace. It was weird but beautiful. It was Derek about 5 years younger with his glasses and his thick head of hair looking into a mirror, and into its reflection it was Jared. I hadn't seen too much of Jared, but I could recognize those emerald eyes sparkle. It was beautiful. As I stared at the painting Jared walked into Derek's place. "I guess I don't have to introduce you guys, do I?" said Jared with a chuckle. "Nope there Bro, Tim and I go way back... wait does our work time count as way back." Derek replied. I responded that I didn't think so, which made us all laugh. Then I mentioned to Jared, we should get going. He invited Derek, but he declined because of his plans with Jenn, so I went to the washroom and then Jared and I said our goodbyes and left. As we were walking down the street, my stomach started to growl. I was very embarrassed, but Jared started to laugh. I told him that I really hadn't ate at all today, and was starved. So he asked where we wanted to eat, and I had mentioned that I had this weird addiction to garlic fingers. For those of you who don't know, garlic fingers is the most amazing thing. It was so simple, its pizza dough with garlic covered in cheese dipped in this awesome sauce called donair sauce. Jared laughed and said that he could go for some garlic fingers and we walked to the nearest pizza joint, which is where they sell these fingers. We sat down, and we started talking... It was great, we talked about our mutual love of hockey. He played Hockey as a youth, I on the other hand could not skate to save my life. However, I was a huge fan of watching hockey. It turned out we had a little rivalry between us. He was a Canadiens fan and I am a huge Leafs fan. So of course, some trash talking came into play to. It was just like talking to one of the guys. It was like we had known each other. We finished up the Garlic Fingers, and Jared decided that since I was newish around town, that he would give me his own private tour. So we went around the downtown, and we came up to this old pub. He said we had to go in, as it had the best live music in the city. He then explained that there was often live Keltic music here. Not really knowing what Keltic music was, I complied and went in. Once we went into the pub, the music totally captivated me. Its very rare, or at least to me, when a song or a bit music totally takes control of you. Well, that is what happened. There was this shaggy gentleman on the stage playing this flute like instrument and it was absolutely beautiful. I stood there until I got a gentle nudge from Jared, who told me that he had a booth. We sat down, and the waitress came over and asked if we wanted something to drink. Jared asked me what type of beer I drank. I told him that I didn't, but an iced tea would be great. Jared told the waitress, two iced teas, and left it at that. When your 25, everyone thinks your crazy when you don't drink. Jared didn't. He just started up another conversation, and we listened to the most heavenly music. Honestly, if you don't know what Keltic music is, research it. Its great. The questions started to have more substance. I found out that he was a painter by love, but would find seasonal work as an animator when he could find the work. He was adamant that he could not sell out on his passion. He talked about his brother, and then asked about my family and my life thus far in Toronto. I explained that I was an only child and was very close to my parents. Really didn't associate with the rest of family. Alcoholism is rampant in our family, and I just couldn't deal with the shit anymore. As close as I was to my folks, I had to get away. I used to be able to hide it, and just try to stay out of the way, but with most of the family living within a block of each other, it was getting more difficult. The final straw was my celebration party for graduating University, where I ended getting smacked around by a couple of my uncles, for not "celebrating" adequately. " So that's why you ordered an Iced Tea?" asked Jared. "Partly. I saw all the time growing up, how big of jerks my uncles, cousins and sometimes even my folks (but that was more in my younger days) could be. My parents are recovering alcoholics. They have been sober for 11 years now. Its taken a lot of work to get where our relationship is now, and I certainly am not going down that path again. I know, that more than likely I could easily be like them. it's a great motivator to not drink." I responded back. He just stared at me. He had a reassuring look upon his face, but I could see he was trying to crack a smile, for me to crack a smile. "ok, I know that seems like a valid answer, but you said that it was partly why you didn't drink?" "I didn't say that. I said partly to why I ordered an Iced tea. I ordered an iced tea, because I love iced tea." I thought that would take this uncomfortable conversation in a different path. Jared just chuckled, called me a smart ass. After the chuckles ceased, he did something that surprised the shit out of me. He placed his hand on my hand resting on the table. It was magnetic. It was amazing. It was electrifying. He then softly said "I talked to Derek while you were in the washroom at his place. I know what he said today." With that we just sat there, hand in hand and watched the music. After a couple hours, it was getting late, and I was getting tired. He sensed it and suggested that we leave. I tried to protest. The music was awesome, and this guy was doing amazing things on the violin. Oh wait, the fiddle, but it was getting late. We walked back to his apartment, just walking side by side in silence, when something came over me and I grabbed his hand out of his pocket. It was a little forward to me, but I loved his touch. He looked over and smiled, and we walked down the street. As I saw his condo in view. I was getting nervous. I have had sex partners before, but never did I feel anything for them. This was different. This made me almost a little nauseous. As we approached his door, he started, "This was an amazing night. I want to thank you for this awesome date." "This was a date?" I was playing with him now. "I typically don't walk down the street holding hands with one of my buddies" "You've got me there." Then we stood there just staring. Neither of us knew what quite to do. He then asked "Do you want to come in?" "YES" I screamed. He just started laughing "but I think I should go. I like you Jared, and this was a perfect date, I really like you Jared, and I want to end this evening like this, as perfect as it was, and not rush things. I know I seem like a total tease, but do you understand?" "Absolutely Man. I totally agree, except for one thing." "What's that?" I was a little perplexed, and as I was trying to figure out what he was talking about, he leant down and gave me a gentle kiss. He lips tasted so good. They were so soft and welcoming. There was no tongue, but it was probably the sweetest kiss ever. "Now this has been the perfect date." Jared replied. Yes, in retrospect it sounds corny, but at the time I was almost drooling. "Can I come see you tomorrow evening Jared?" "I don't know, can you?" What a smart ass. "Sure. Come to my place at around 7 and I will cook dinner." I then proceeded to give him one of my business cards, which had my cell and wrote my address on the back. "Great. Until Tomorrow." and with that he walked into his building, and I just sauntered home with the biggest grin on my face.