Warning: This story does not contain any sex. None of the characters are based on real people nor are they meant to resemble any living or dead people.

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Love from The Ashes

Chapter 6

Wanting Him

 

Jamie wakes up, feeling a little confused. He has forgotten where he is, but it all becomes clear when he glances over at the guy next to him. Jamie isn't about to complain about it though, because he up entangled in Cameron's arms. It feels so right, but there is one thing missing, and that is his puppy. Cameron needs to get up so they can go play with the little pup. Without any help, Cameron gets up feeling a little anxious. He's not used to waking up with someone just yet.

***

The guys get out of the bed and take showers, and this time they decide to share the shower. He feels incredibly anxious and very conscious of his body compared to Jamie's muscular frame. The guys skip brushing their teeth because the guys need to get to Jamie's house quickly. Being said, the guys ignore their morning breath and give each other a quick kiss.

"Are you ready to see the puppy?"

Jamie says to Cameron as they head out to the car.

"We should have brought her with us last night."

Cameron suggests to Jamie for next time.

"Yeah."

Jamie agrees with Cameron, but he's focused on opening the car. Jamie gets the job done and comes over to open the car door for his guy. They get into the car.

"So, are you working today?"

Jamie asks Cameron, hoping for another day together.

"No, I'm not working today. Are you on call today?"

Jamie shakes his head, and Andrew smiles. Neither guy has anything going on today, so now the question is what to do about it.

"What are we going to do with our day off?"

Jamie asks wanting and hoping to drive somewhere with the Cameron. After being with him yesterday at the beach, Cameron wants something different, something that will allow him to be in his element.

"Can we go to the zoo?"
Jamie turns to his guy with a big smile on his face.

"Are you serious? I have not been to the zoo in a long time."

So, it's a plan, for now, the guys are going to the zoo. The guys are headed off to Cameron's, and they couldn't be happier about it. It's nice to see them exchanging glances at each other as they drive.

***

Jamie pulls up to the house and stops the car, and he gets out and opens the door for his date. Jamie and Cameron walk into the house and find Princess wide awake in her kennel. She is looking up at the guys. Her tail is wagging a mile a minute, and Princess is crying for attention. Jamie opens the kennel, and she makes a dash for it. She is running between their legs as she begs to be played with and dishes out a few licks as well.

"Someone is happy to see us. Don't you think?"

Jamie says as he smiles at Cameron.

"She missed us."

Cameron is right, she did miss them. Jamie tries to give Princess as much time out of the kennel as he can. Cameron plays with Princess while Jamie fills the food dish and the water dish.

"Are you a hungry girl?"

Jamie says as the puppy comes over to eat and drink. She immediately begins to eat the food that Jamie gave her. After she is done eating, the guys take her outside for a walk, so she can use the restroom.

"Let's go, girl, let's go use bathroom."

Jamie says to Princess as they walk out of the house. It doesn't take her long for her to do her business. She is dying to play with the guys after doing her business. When they come inside the house, both Jamie and Cameron sit on the floor and play with the pup. She is enjoying it, and so are the two men. An hour later, the guys decide that they need to eat breakfast. There isn't much in the house to eat other than eggs and cereal. Cameron has cereal and Jamie enjoys some scrambled eggs and an apple. It's finally time to head out to the zoo.

***

The guys get into the car and head for the zoo. Jamie forgot how beautiful the zoo grounds are, and is very glad that the Cameron suggested coming here. As they walk, Cameron finds himself time and time again glancing at Jamie's muscles and sees a view of Jamie's enclosed butt; a scene he loves. They pass by multiple exhibits and pass through two buildings, loving each one but truth be told, Jamie is enjoying the fact that he has Cameron next to him. No one else in the zoo matters to Cameron or Jamie, all that matters are that the two guys are together. A stranger walks by and glances at Jamie's ass, which instantly gets Cameron's attention. It's at this point that Cameron decides to show the world that he likes the handsome man next to him.

***

A decision is made by Cameron to take Jamie's hand and hope that Jamie won't refuse him. Jamie looks down at their hands and smiles. Cameron sees his smile and gets a warm feeling in his bosom. Jamie isn't about to let go of that hand. For Cameron, he hopes that everyone who sees them holding hands will know that they are a couple. The guys are both okay with the PDA. Cameron is aware of a couple people who have passed by who aren't happy with the fact that they are holding hands. If he were alone or with someone new, he might react to their glances. This time though, everything is okay. Jamie makes him feel safe. There is more than just safety going on in Cameron's mind; he wants to have that closeness with his date. Jamie is aware of those around him. Jamie is fully cognizant of those who walk by who are unhappy with their hand-holding. When that happens, Jamie squeezes Cameron's hand just a little, so he knows that Jamie aware of the passerby and that he knows that Jamie will keep him out of harm's away. It works. Everything is great.

***

They enter the primate house. While they are watching the gorillas, a small family consisting of their dad, mom, and two little kids are watching the antics of two young gorillas. The dad has one of the kids up in his arms so she can see what's going on in the enclosure. The other child is holding his mother's hands. Dad and Mom are smiling and talking with their children. Jamie is paying just as much attention to the animals in front of him and the family as well. It makes Cameron wonder what is going on in his date's mind. Does Jamie want to have a family? Cameron won't know unless he asks, but he doesn't want to make his date think, that he wants kids, and therefore wants to be with Jamie just for that reason. When they walk away from the enclosure and have a quiet moment to speak, Cameron takes advantage of it and asks questions that won't make it seem like he wants kids. They are checking out the giraffes when the chance for Cameron to ask Jamie about his reaction to the family.

"I noticed you watching the family over at the gorillas, what were you thinking about?"

Jamie glances at his date, and then he starts to talk about what his thoughts were when he saw the family.

"Sometimes, when I see parents interacting with their kids, like that, I can't help but wonder what it would be like to be a parent someday."

Jamie would love to be a parent at some point. It's still too early to know if Cameron is the guy that will spend the rest of his life with, but Jamie can see himself with this guy, and he hopes that he'll want to have a family with him. Cameron wants to have kids too, so maybe this might work, but for now they to talk more about it.

"Yeah, the family was pretty cute."

Cameron admits to his date that they'll revisit this discussion. The whole time, the guys were holding hands and very much loving their date. Right now, they are heading into the reptile house, and Cameron loves this house. Reptiles don't bother him at all, and they don't bother Jamie either, but one thing is bothering them. They are starting to get hungry.

***

The guys are getting hungry, so they look for a place to eat at the zoo, and they find a beautiful place to eat in the zoological park overlooking a beautiful enclosure in the zoo.

"So, are you enjoying the zoo so far?"

Cameron asks his date.

"Yeah, I'm really enjoying myself so far. I think my favorite exhibit so far were the gorillas and the clouded leopards."

Cameron agrees the clouded leopards were amazing to watch. It isn't just the animals that the guys are enjoying; just the fact that they are spending time together makes the date enjoyable. The nachos that they ordered are filling up their stomachs just fine. Neither guy seems to notice that people are watching them, but two kids are paying close attention to not only their words but also their body language.

***

Cameron and Jamie are still eating lunch when two kids come up to them without their parent's knowing that they had walked away from them. One of the kids gets their attention while the other one who is a little shyer stands back from them.

"Are you married? Because we have an uncle who married a man and he is really cool."

It's at this moment that the parents realize where their kids are at, and the mother approaches them.

"Leave these kids alone."

The kid that spoke to Jamie, and Cameron looks at his mom in the most innocent voice speaks to his mom.

"We just wanted to know if, they were married like Uncle Bryan."

The mother smiles at the kids.

"I'm sorry guys. My name is Alexis, and I have a gay brother. He's their Uncle Bryan, and he is married to their Uncle Lucas."

Jamie wants to answer the kids, but he would also like to spend time with Cam.

"No, we aren't married. It's okay that your kids came up to us."

Cameron says as he smiles at the mother.

"Well, thanks for answering his question."

"You're welcome. Thanks for letting them ask us; some parents would have forced their kids to step away from us."

The guys exchange handshakes with the mother before going back to lunch.

***

After lunch, the guys get up and head out to explore more of the zoo. As they walk through the zoo, Cameron has a lot on his mind. His thoughts are all about his date, and as his mind begins to mill over Jamie, he also begins to stare at his date. Jamie has always been so kind to him. Unlike his ex, Jamie has never even attempted to put him down which Adam did a lot.

`Jamie has shown me so much kindness. He kept his promise last night when he spent the night. We may have cuddled together, but he never touched me. He's made me feel safe, and he loves Princess. Today, he's been a complete gentleman. Today, at the gorilla enclosure, I could tell he was feeling a little emotional when he saw that family, and when the kids came over, he was fine with it. Adam would have been pissed and been rude, but...Jamie was perfectly okay with it. Can he be real? You know what, I think, I've finally found something real in this man.'

Cameron would love to cuddle up with Jamie right here, right now, but it's hardly time for that right now. Maybe, he'll have a chance to snuggle up with his fireman later tonight. He decides to quit thinking and comparing Jamie to Adam and just enjoy the here and now.

***

When the zoo trip is over, the guys head off to Jamie's place to relax a little, and to finish off their date. When they get to Jamie's, the guys head straight to the kennel. Princess needs their attention right now. Jamie lets her out of the kennel, and she again starts to dance around their feet and cry a little too. She also barks a little too for their attention. Cameron begins to play with her while Jamie prepares her food. After she eats, Jamie attaches the leash, and they take her outside with them, and they give her time to go to the bathroom.

"So, what did you think about the zoo?"

Cameron asks his date. It's important to him that Jamie enjoyed himself.

"It's been a long time since I've been there, and it was amazing, but to be honest. You made it amazing. Between the animals and the people that we met; I would go again in a heartbeat."

Jamie says in reply to Cameron's question. Cameron also enjoyed the zoo. Everything was great. Jamie always makes him secure, and that is amazing too.

"Jamie, thanks for making me feel secure."

Jamie doesn't need to be thanked for that, but he accepts it.

"You're welcome."

Jamie says as he hugs Cameron. He wants so badly to kiss him. Instead, he gives him another big hug. Jamie doesn't feel a need to keep Cameron safe, but if Jamie makes him feel safe so be it, he'll keep on making feel safe." Bottom line, everything that happened at the zoo was incredible. The world seems to be smiling down at them. Why is it, that Jamie can't look at Cameron without feeling warm all over? The guys continue the walk for a few more feet and then turn around and head back to the house. Where they spend fifteen minutes playing with the puppy.

***

Jamie and Cameron are getting hungry, so Jamie goes into his fridge and pulls out some precut chicken and vegetables already prepared for stir fry. Once the wok is hot, Jamie puts the chicken into the pan starts cooking it. After a little while, he adds the vegetables and soon the food is cooked. Jamie puts the food into a serving bowl and places it on the kitchen table. For their drink, he pulls out a bottle of sparkling white grape juice. He then sets the table and then invites Cameron to join him at the table.

"Let's eat."

Cameron washes his hands and then comes straight to the table.

"It looks delicious."

Jamie and Cameron immediately start eating their food while Princess sits on the kitchen floor. The guys continue eating and talking. In the end, they are just enjoying their food and the fact that they are together. During the meal, Jamie gets a text that he ignores because Cameron deserves all his attention.

***

After dinner, Jamie takes a second to check his phone. It was Brayden checking in with his friend.

"Hey, how did your date go?"

Jamie chuckles to himself since the date isn't over yet, and if he's lucky it might just last through the night.

"It's been great so far. We just got done with dinner, and we're going to sit back and relax now."

Jamie texts back to his friend, who smiles after reading the message.

"Are you behaving yourself?"

Brayden knows that his friend has a history of getting frisky with his dates. He also knows that Cameron has done something truly incredible to his friend. Jamie smiles when the message comes through to him.

"Of course, I am, Cam is too special to take a chance on losing him. If I treat him like my other dates, I would him the best night of sex that he's ever had, and then treat him like crap afterward, and just like that he would be gone. I know we've only had a few dates, and I don't want to lose him."

When Brayden sees the text from his best friend, he smiles because maybe just maybe, Jamir won't have to go back to relying on the fact that he's a piece of eye candy to get dates. Jamie is used to having guys fall for him, and he's used to getting sex. Brayden has seen guys come and go from his friend's life. He's never seen a guy stick around this long, so maybe Cam is the guy. Jamie has never stuck with a guy this long, and yes, it's a record for him.

"I had better get back to my guy."

Jamie texts to Brayden. He does just that too.

"Okay, I'll let you go."

Jamie puts his phone away.

***

After dinner, Jamie and Cameron find themselves sitting on the couch, cuddled up together, and watching a movie. They don't' talk much during the movie. If they do talk, it's about movie or a quick fact about the film. The movie was enjoyable, made even better by being together. Jamie loves having his hands close to his boyfriend. During the video, Courtney sent a text to Cameron, so when the movie is over Cameron checks her message.

***

Cameron tells Jamie about the text and that he needs a chance to respond to her text. Jamie is cool with Cameron taking a second to check the text, and gives the puppy a little bit more extra attention. Cameron glances at the text and smiles, and then immediately goes about reading the text.

"Hey, you haven't checked in, in a while so, are you okay? Let me know."

He immediately begins to respond to the text.

"Courtney, I'm doing great. I've been enjoying the last two days with Jamie."

Jamie is quiet as he plays with Princess, while Cameron is busy with his text.

"He's treating you good?"

Jamie is a big guy no doubt about it, and one might be intimidated if he came up to you on the streets, but Jamie is a gentle giant all the way through.

"He's been a saint."

In seconds another text came through from his boss.

"He had better be treating you as a saint."

Jamie glances at the text and smiles.

"I'm always a saint."

Cameron can't resist telling Courtney what Jamie just said to him in response to the text. She doesn't text back with "lol," but she does laugh.

"I'll let you get back to each other."

She doesn't want to interrupt their time together.

"Bye, Boss."

As Cameron ends the call, he finds himself looking at Jamie and feeling a bit like some anxiety is kicking in on him.

Cameron is a bit restless, and Jamie picks up on it.

***

To help with the restlessness, he comes up with an idea. He hopes that by getting Cam outside and into some fresh air that maybe it will help take the edge off whatever is causing him this way.

"Hey Cam, how about we go outside and do something?"

Even Cameron thinks that getting up might just be a good thing.

"We could go for a walk?"

They take time to get Princess on her leash. As the pair get up and walk outside, Jamie immediately takes Cam's hand, and they walk out together. Cameron looks down at the hand that is now embracing his own, and he's this moment in and embracing it.

"Thanks for making the last few days magical for me. I never thought I would meet a guy like you."

Jamie tells his date. In just a few days, he's found someone who has completely turned his world upside down.

"You're welcome. You've made me feel like a million bucks. Thank you!"

With that said, Cameron kisses his date on the lips and once again, that all too familiar electrical bolt courses through their bodies.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have kissed you without asking. I...I'm sorry."

At this point, he wants to run away from Jamie, not because he's embarrassed but because there is a part of him that is afraid. Jamie can feel him relaxing his hold on his hand.

"Look, I don't know what someone did to you, but I loved that kiss, and you don't need my permission to kiss me. You can kiss me anytime you want too okay? I want to be here with you, so stay with me okay?"

Cameron wants to cry because he's enveloped with emotion now. His date wants nothing more than to be by Cam's side. The words Jamie spoke came straight from his heart. Jamie doesn't know if it's love, but it feels like it to him, and he wants to be in love.

"I'm sorry for acting that way..."

Cameron tries to apologize for what he said earlier, but it's getting under Jamie's skin a bit. Jamie is very hard to get angry, and he wants to stop it before he gets to that point.

"Listen to me Cam, stop apologizing okay? You don't have to be sorry. I mean what I said."

Cam gets a hug from Jamie who wants so badly to kiss his guy. He doesn't though, because it just doesn't feel right to him at the moment.

"I promise, I won't apologize anymore at least not for tonight."

Cam says to his date, who accepts it and smiles.

"Good enough!"

Jamie says as he breaks the hug. They continue their walk through the neighborhood. This time, they don't take hands, but they still enjoy each other's company. Princess is ready to call it a night, and so the guys head back to Jamie's house.

***

After getting Princess into her kennel, the guys head out for Cameron's home. Jamie has music playing in the car, and the guys are singing to the music. They don't let the fact that neither of them can sing great bother them. It's all for fun. When they arrive at Cameron's house, Jamie smiles at Cameron.

"Well, I guess this is the end of the date for tonight. I'll miss you, Cameron. You want another date with me?"

Cameron knew at the zoo that he wanted another date.

"Yes, I do. I've known since before we left the zoo."

Hearing that makes Jamie smile. This is when he leans in and kisses Cameron. Cameron again feels that jolt of electricity that comes with every kiss. After the kiss, they say goodnight and Jamie escorts his date to the door. They exchange another quick kiss before Jamie heads for home. He doesn't get very far before the phone rings.

***

As he is headed home, Brayden is calling him on the cell phone, and luckily for him, it's tied into the car so, the conversation can be hand's free.

"Hey Brayden, what's up?"

Jamie knows what Brayden wants. He wants to know all about the date.

"Just calling to see how the date went."

Jamie doesn't even know where to begin with it, so he starts at the beginning.

"It went perfect, we had breakfast, played with Princess, and then we went to the zoo. I think that I might want to have a family with Cameron. I mean, I always wanted a family of my own, but I didn't think that I would get the chance till much later in my life. Just forget that crazy talk, we went back to my house after the zoo, and I cooked for him. I think he really enjoyed that. Pretty much that was the entire date. We kissed a few times, held hands for most of the time that we spent at the zoo, and just ignored everybody else."

Brayden is still amazed at the fact that Jamie is taking his own sweet time with Cameron. It's entirely unlike him.

"Sounds really cool man. I'm happy for you. Is there going to be another date?"

Jamie responds with a "Yes" and does so with enthusiasm. There is still one question burning in Brayden's mind, but he's not sure if he should ask it or not. If they were face to face, Jamie would know if Brayden was holding back something, and then he would convince him to ask it. Jamie likes to be open with his friends and typically holds nothing back.

"You're awfully quiet is there something else you wanted to ask me?"

There it is Jamie caught his friend off guard. He wasn't going to ask his question, but now, he feels like he has too.

"So, have you and Cameron had sex yet?"

Brayden wants to take the question back, but he can't.

"No, and I not going to pressure him into it, and have it explode in my face. It will happen when I know he is ready for it."

With everything that Cameron has experienced, maybe it's a good thing that Jamie is willing to wait for him.

"Good luck with that man. I have never known you to wait this long for sex. I think the fact that you're willing to wait for Cameron is very grown-up of you."

It's a good sign, and Brayden is right on the whole willing to wait thing.

"Well, it sounds like you had a long day, so I'll let you go."

Jamie is tired, so he's glad that Brayden is going to be hanging up soon.

"Thanks for checking up on me. I am tired. Bye, dude."

Brayden ends the call. Jamie does in some regards miss the sex, but there is a voice in his head that is telling him that Cameron isn't ready for it. He doesn't know why he feels like this, but it's there. Whatever it is, the feeling is strong enough in Jamie heart and mind, that it's best to not ignore it. If he pressures Cameron into sex, he will lose whatever is between them. It's genuinely better this way. Jamie gets ready for bed, and then gets Princess prepared for the night, and then climbs into bed. Fifteen minutes go by and that fifteen minutes turns into 30 minutes, and then an hour, and he still can't sleep.

***

Jamie starts to mentally review the date when suddenly his mind goes back to the kids during lunch. It was amazing to him how brave those kids were when they came up and were talking to them. It is the first time that someone has ever asked them if they were married, but it was enough to make Jamie consider the possibility of asking Cameron. He knows its way to early in their relationship if they are even in a relationship to be thinking about marriage, and yet it feels sort of right. Jamie grabs a pen and paper and starts to write a letter to Cameron, one that he will never see until the time is right.

"Dear Cameron,

Do you remember our date at the zoo? Tonight, it is fresh on my mind, and I can't sleep. There is so much on my mind, but right now it's those kids from lunch that is driving me crazy. Remember the question they asked us, the one about us being married? It's not going to happen today, tomorrow, or in the next month, but someday this letter will be a part of my proposal to you.

I'm impressed by your kindness, your wisdom, and more importantly, your incredible compassion or animals and people. I love that electricity that comes with every kiss we share. You have no idea what you to me, and how you make me feel. Guess it's time you know huh? First, I have something that you need to know.

I was the type of guy who would see a guy, have a date or two, take him to bed, give him pleasure and the next day, I would forget his name, but that all changed and not too long ago either. From the minute that I saw you at the pet hospital, one thing was certain, you changed me. I didn't want you to be one of those guys that gets forgotten. Something about you made me want to do right by you I couldn't get my mind off you even if I tried. The very thought of dishonoring you horrifies me. Cameron, it didn't take me long to realize that I wanted to see how far we could go together.

Cameron don't pay any attention to the man kneeling in front of you for a second. I MEAN IT. If you have gotten this far, then one of your friends has done their job to perfection. Cameron, I want to be with you forever, the one you wake up too, and the one you fall asleep with at the end of the day. I want to be there to help raise our kids together, so we can take them to the zoo, and be embarrassed when they ask complete strangers questions. Now look me in the eyes and just listen to me."

Jamie prepares an envelope with hearts all around the edges of it, sprays it with cologne, and then places the letter inside the envelope.

***

While Jamie is writing his letter, Cameron is bubbling with excitement and must tell someone about his experience at the zoo, so he calls Courtney. She has been dying to speak with him all day long and was worried that she might not hear from him at all.

"Hey Cameron, how your day with the hunk?"

She is right, Jamie is a hunk. If Cameron is honest with himself, he's utterly undeserving of Jamie's attention, but he isn't about to walk away from him any time soon.

"It was in one word incredible. He was a perfect gentleman."

With him describing the date as incredible, it made her curiosity rise a notch or two.

"So, what made the date so amazing?"

She asks hoping that he'll fill in the blanks for her.

"Maybe the fact that he let me decided here we were going on our date. I would have been happy with a day on the beach or hiking, but we didn't, we went to the zoo, and it was as you already said amazing."

Cameron's excitement came through in the answer he gave.

`Nice, but I think that I would have spent the day curled up in bed, having some chill time.'

Courtney's thoughts are not as clean as Cameron's at the moment.

"So, I caught him watching this family with kids, and it really got me thinking about him and kids. I wouldn't' have guessed him to be daddy material, but after seeing the way he looked at that family, it made me rethink things. We also had two kids come up to us and ask if we were married, and he wasn't rude to them and didn't politely send them away either. He altered my view of him."

Courtney's mind has been altered as well, but there were also some red flags as well.

"Look, I'm not about to tell you not to be excited over this guy, but this is really big, I don't think you should be talking about kids. I mean you just barely had your second date?"

He knows this, but he can't help feel a bit giddy over everything that transpired at the zoo.

"It just made me want to be with him even more. I can't pass up a chance for another date with him."

His last sentence started Courtney's mind racing.

"You know we have the hospital's party coming up in a couple days? You could invite him to the party so that we could see him outside of his work uniform, which by the way, he wears quite nicely."

Her mind must be slipping because she has seen him without the uniform or maybe Courtney just doesn't remember seeing him in his street clothes.

"I'll invite him as long as you and Kelly don't embarrass me?"

She laughs at his question.

"I mean it, Courtney."

She pretends to cave to his demands. Course, he cannot see that her fingers are crossed. On her end, she promises to be an instant friend with Jamie, not to embarrass her vet tech.

"I know, it's early, but maybe you should try to just put a ring on it."

Now, Cameron isn't overly happy about her comment. Perhaps, she is trying to get him to see something that he can't. It is a little irritating, but he gets it, he really does. It's time for him and Jamie to maybe step back, but as he is thinking this, he immediately reverses that thought. After everything that has gone wrong in his romantic life, he finally has someone good in his life, and he doesn't want to lose him.

"Good night, Cameron."

Courtney is tired and decides to go to bed.

"Good night, Courtney. Have a good night."

Cameron gets ready for bed and calls it a quiet to the day. Who knows if he'll invite Jamie to the party, but he probably will.

***

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