Date: Sat, 29 Apr 2006 01:03:13 +0100 (BST) From: lyon turner Subject: The Other Half of Your Soul Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and of gay love. This story may contain erotic and/or sexually explicit behaviour between consenting adults, If it is illegal for you to, or you find this sort of work offensive please leave now. The Other Half of Your Soul So here I was, standing outside the last of the big apartment blocks, with my suitcases in hand and my hat and sunglasses in place at 9 in the evening, hoping and praying that someone unlike the last building I had tried would open the door. The flight had arrived later than scheduled so I had not had enough time look for one earlier, so a nice cosy bed and some food sounded really appealing at the moment. I winced just as my suitcase I was holding slipped from my grasp, the physical pain would eventually heal but the emotional turmoil at the moment seemed never ending. From the brochures I had looked at, this part of the town was quiet and discreet enough for me to live and get on with my life, I was a long way from home, away from my family and friends and from the world I had known for 26 years, alone for the very first time in my life, but I knew, this was it, it was the right thing to do, it had been my only option to flee, and time would only tell if it was the right one. I would always be thankful for Melissa for helping me, not only had she booked the flight from New York to the airport in Auckland, she had also been a great friend to me over the years, We had become friends in high school where she had protected me and looked after me like a younger sibling, and lucky for me the friendship had lasted beyond out high school years, with us keeping close and meeting up regularly we had kept up an inseparable bond. During last 3 months of me leaving New York Melissa had insisted on helping me further but I knew it wasn't safe and I was no way in hell gonna risk her harm by letting her know my exact location in New Zealand. If he wanted to find me he would have gone to her, so the less she knew the better, but never seeing my family again nearly bought me to a flood of tears yet again!, not that I hadn't cried enough on the flight here, I had balled my eyes out thinking of never seeing my loved ones again. "hiya there, how can I help you" a black, 30 something women with a concerned look on her face asked me after I had knocked on the door, the lady had a nice figure, with curly black hair puffed around her heart shaped delicate face, I also noticed she was wearing a cooking apron. "I know its late an' all but, I've looked every where, I've just come from the airport, I'm, really tired...I need an apartment...are you the owner?...I...I..." the emotional journey had taken its toll and I started weeping, it just couldn't be held back any more, I could see from the reaction on the women's face that she was shocked at my black and blue face after I had taken my glasses off to speak to her. "Look dear, lets talk inside its really cold out here" she said politely. She led me straight through to what looked to me a to be a wide, spacious hallway, leading to a door of a couple of apartments down the hall, the next thing I knew, I was sitting on a comfy sofa with my suit cases next to me. I heard the women speak but wasn't quite sure what she was saying as I was in a state of emotional exhaustion, the women probably felt that too later when I had a steaming cup of coffee in my hand. "Drink this I'll warm you up, let me just get my husband in here, I wont be a sec" A couple of minutes later the women walked in to her nicely furnished apartment with a tall, muscular black man, who had paint smeared on his clothes and seemed to be carrying a hammer or chisel. "Hey there, how can we help you," the man never even flinched when he saw me, I figured it was the woman that had warned him not to say anything. I explained to them that I needed an apartment and that I had just come from New York, I had also checked other apartment buildings, but had no luck. The women who introduced her self as Sally said her husband Derek and her lived here with their 2 kids, she also told me that this building was new and was being remodelled, but some of the apartments had been complete for a long while although the owner had not officially opened the building up. Sally was kind and seemed to take pity on my withered looking form, she fed me something delicious, which I cant even remember because of the daze I was in, I was just glad that I was some where warm and my chances for an apartment were looking up when a voice said "So, where do you want these D?" the man had his back turned and was carrying a large tray of what looked to be assorted tester paints. When he turned his eyes locked on to mine. "Shit, what happened to you? car run you over?" just as I was about to retaliate, Sally conveniently stepped in and introduced us, I found that his name was Ryan and that he was also staying at the apartment on the same floor that I was to be in, and he, Derek and sally had lived here for just over a year. As I laid on the bed, with my suitcases lying unabashed on the floor, I reflected on the warmth of Sally and Derek as people, and how they had welcomed me and said that if I needed anything I should just ask, but the tall golden haired stranger seemed to be having his own special effect on me which I didn't even want to consider. The apartment was warm and convenient with neutral colours on the wall and simple but sleek furniture to accompany the atmosphere. This was nowhere near the luxury that I had been around but this was better than most people had, not all children grew up to have their dad as one of the major front liners on the developers of pharmaceutical companies, so I was blessed and glad that I'd had a care free, luxurious life, I'd never had to lift a finger and everything I asked was done for me at my command being the youngest of one older brother, I missed my life so much, I hadn't been home for such a long time it was so depressing. I settled down comfortably in the apartment and I was now even calling it home, in the 3 weeks I had been there my bruising had begun to heal up well although I still couldn't see from my left eye which was a pain, I found me and Sally got on really well and if she wasn't at my apartment telling me stories of her beautiful children, I was at hers telling her of my life in New York, Melissa, and even my parents, but she either forgot or chose not to bring up the topic of my bruising, I thought she felt if I were ready for it, I would open up in my own time. Derek was also a kind hearted man who I found doted on his wife's every word, he tucked the kids in bed, took them to nursery and managed to help out being handy around the building but had not seen Ryan as frequent though, but the few times I did, he said hi and we often saw each other at sally and Derek's apartment when me and Sally were having her gossip sessions. One afternoon after having just stepped out the shower and in to my clothes to head out to get some groceries I saw Derek and Ryan down the hall laughing and painting, Ryan was on a ladder painting the higher walls whilst Derek opposite him on the ground. I saw Ryan look in my direction and then start painting again as if oblivious to my arrival, I thought what the heck, then asked if I could join in and also help paint, Derek agreed, but Ryan looked at me as if I was crazy, but I was a sucker for unspoken challenges. We worked in companiable silence, but conversed from time to time Sharing a joke every so often, I hadn't had fun like this in ages, I hadn't had many friends that I'd kept in touch with over the years apart from Melissa, so boy did it feel good to relax and enjoy myself. But what I noticed was that I couldn't help but notice Ryan, he sure all was man, build extremely well, with an athletic built. He had a light beard, which was so sexy, and a scar, which was the only thing that marred his face, but which only enhanced his rugged handsomeness. His hair brushed down to his nape, and I loved the way his jeans swayed low on his hips when he moved, it was indefinitely sexy but I knew it was too soon to have these thoughts and it wasn't right, so Imade myself stop. We were all going to finish for the day when sally came in "Oh, I'm glad I caught you Dillon. My best friend Carla and her brother are coming tonight for dinner, I'd like for you to meet them, oh and you" she said pointed at Ryan, "be down stairs a 8." So I cleaned up in my apartment and wore my fav black shirt, I was just zipping up my jeans when the light went dead. Oh no, what if he was here? ...I panicked, searching for the light switch, flicking it but no light came, what would I do?, I'd never changed a light bulb in my life. With the privileges I had had, I had never needed to, I started sobbing before I could help it, my vulnerability bringing back all the memories of my family and all the abuse that I had suffered, I wasn't cut out for this, I sobbed until I heard Ryan call from the door, I let him in but I couldn't help tearing up, when he saw that I was in a state and shaking, he held my by the arms, looked straight at me and told me to tell him what was wrong. When I told him the light wouldn't work, he just looked at me, nodded and said that he'd just put a new bulb in and that it was no problem. I was so grateful that he hadn't mocked me for not knowing how to do that, but he just made a coffee and said if I had any problems like that again that I should just call him. I sat on the sofa with my knees drawn up to my neck, drinking my coffee "..thanks," he came near me on the sofa, crouching to meet me eye level, he stared at my hair as if to memorise it, pushed my hair back behind my ear with his fingers "no problem" and with that he got up and left, leaving me shivering inwardly. Dinner was great, with Sally's exceptional cooking and Carla and her brother, Johnny, who I found to be very funny, not to mention attractive. He had dark brown eyes, short brown cropped hair and a muscular body, but he was nowhere near Ryan's height...Ryan who was perfectly built with...damn! why was I comparing him to Ryan?..it didn't make sense. Johnny was good looking in his own right!, I needed a drink. Carla was also lovely and I realised why sally and her were best friends, they had so much in common and laughed about the same things, Conversation varied with everyone enjoying themselves, when conversation turned to the apartment blocks. "So whos the owner of these buildings then?, they must be living the high life with all this great investment" there was an uncomfortable silence at first where Derek and Sally both looked at each other, Sally then rushed to explain that we had not met him but only people who worked for him. Sally's children were exceptionally well behaved through out the meal and provided a welcome relief for me from the uncomfortable gaze Ryan was giving me. He seemed even more quite than usual, he talked only if asked a question and the few efforts I tried to get him to join in were answered in grunts. Johnny however had no problems in that department, he told me he was a doctor and owned a private practice he said he preferred it to a hospital because he felt it was personal and he wanted to make his patients feel special and cared for. He was great and by the end of the evening we decided we would meet up again the following night. Carla and Johnny left soon after and so it was me and Ryan who were next. "Get out you two, I wanna have some time with my husband now and I've just managed to get the kids off to bed..so shuuu" Derek laughed. "You heard the lady gentlemen" So Ryan and I walked out together upstairs, all in all it was a great night. As we were walking, I told him how I thought that Carla and Johnny seemed to be genuinely nice people and that I would be meeting up with Johnny again, but Ryan didn't comment on this he instead said how sally and Derek were good people and that they were like family to him. "Well I better go in" I said as we reached the front of my door, there was a pause as we stared at each other, we stood there in awkward silence and I could see the rare emotions flicking through Ryan's face as if he were trying to put something in words but didn't know how "...Yeah, I'll see you later." A week passed since that night and Johnny had to cancel on me for dinner simply because he was to busy at work, but he apologised profusely and said we would meet up on Friday night. I was lying on the sofa thinking of what to do, when I suddenly thought yes...that's what I'd do, I'd call Melissa. I missed her so much and I needed to see how she was, Melissa answered on the second ring. She seemed frantic when I identified myself, she said that it wasn't safe anymore, she told me how he had threatened her if she didn't tell him where I was, but after denying it, he had threatened to kill her if he found out she was lying and said he had people looking in Australia and new Zealand as they spoke. I said my last good byes to her diminishing any hopes I ever had left of even speaking to her on the phone again. I was so scared I was having a panic attack, I ran and closed all windows open in the apartment and locked and bolted the door crumbling to the floor with my back leaned against the door sobbing. I didn't come out for 2 nights and refused to answer to Derek or Sally, but I could tell Sally was really worried and called Ryan to unlock the door, which he did with ease, when they found me, I was cuddled up in my bed, sobbing. "Go away its not s...safee...you...you...d...don't...." "...shhsh...its ok...i'm here, im not gonna let anything happen to you" Ryan sat on the bed and stroked my back holding myself to him. "I'm gonna go get Derek, be right back" Sally said feeling as if I needed to be alone with Ryan "...Y...you ....don't' understand hes gonna kill me" "Who is?" even in my state I could feel Ryan stiffen his arms around me. He stayed on the bed with me rocking me gently, stroking his arm back and forth down my back to reassure me, we stayed like that for I don't know how long but just until I quieted down, then Sally came back in saying that Derek was busy with the kids, from then on she took charge, making all of us hot cocoa she took up the role of mama bear and told me to start from the beginning. So I did. I told them everything, how I had the perfect life, my parents being very wealthy, about Melissa, then I told them I was gay expecting a big shock, but all I heard was quiet acceptance from Ryan and a joyful hug from Sally saying she had sort of guessed her self when I didn't even look twice at Carla that evening but was embroiled in conversation with Johnny. Then to the next part, I had to make my self-breath slowly, and then I let it out. "After college I had met Kian, he was rich, a lawyer, and had claimed he loved me from the first. We dated and then he asked me to move in with me, and at the time it seemed like the most natural thing, it was fast and I didn't question it because I thought he loved me..what a fool I was...I was beginning to get really fond of him, but as the months passed he spent more and more time away from home, then he got really controlling he said he didn't like me going out and seeing my parents, he thought they didn't like him, that's about the time I started to suspect he was having an affair, but when I confronted him he said I was just imagining it, then the abuse started, he...he started to beat me and said it was my fault for going to see my parents, he told me he had me followed and that's how he knew. The abuse got so bad that I was in hospital with broken bones and ribs twice, each time he said he wouldn't do it again, but each time I went back. I was put on a life support machine the last time, that's when I realised I couldn't take it any more. I didn't want to live that life." "I knew he wouldn't just let me go, so I stuck it out, after the few days I was back from the hospital, he was the kind, caring, compassionate boyfriend, apologising and saying that he loved me, but I knew it was a lie, the first night he went back to work, I ran to Melissa, I didn't want to go to my parents because they didn't know anything about the abuse, and they were already trying to get around to the idea of me being gay. Melissa, my best friend booked the flight for me here, she did everything and I miss her terribly" I told them how I had called Melissa to see how she was and she'd told me that Kian had threatened her, but she'd not told him anything, "But it doesn't matter now, he's got his men searching for me here and in Australia. He's not gonna stop until he finds me...so I need to get out of here, he said that if I ever left him he...he...would...kill me...and I have no doubt that he would" I kept strong until I had finished telling them everything..but I couldn't escape the small sobs that came out of me. Sally just held me and told me that everything would be ok and we would all sort this out together, Ryan, I could tell was seething, his fists were clenched and I could tell he was keeping his pent up frustration inside and I expected it when he cursed under his breath. As is suddenly coming to life, he said he would get the best security system fitted on to the apartment, he'd have all the locks checked and even security cameras installed, I was so grateful I didn't know what to say. The next morning Ryan woke me up from my restless sleep. When I opened the door I realised it wasn't just him but a lot of men with equipment, which I presumed were here to fit the security alarm. By the end of the evening I felt so much safer, I thanked Ryan and told him I really appreciated it. Just as Ryan was teaching me how to operate it, the phone rang and it was Johnny. He told me he was free tonight and that Sally had slipped in that I was gay, which he was relieved about because he was too. Then he told me that he liked me a lot and really wanted to go out with me, this I couldn't help blushing at and hoped Ryan didn't notice. Even though I didn't really feel like going out, I knew I couldn't hide forever, and the fitted security system had seemed to boost my confidence, so I said I'd come and he agreed to pick me up at 8. "hot date?" "..errh..yeh, johnny's picking me up at 8, its already 6.30, I better get showered and changed" "Yeh..ok..i'll leave you to it then" was it me or did his eyes just droop a little?. Just as he was about to leave I said. "..Ryan." "yea?" "thanks...for everything I mean..." he just looked at me nodded, then left. Johnny was nice, but he wasn't the guy I dreamt about all night, Ryan invaded my deepest thoughts, when he looked at me I couldn't help but quiver inside and wish for those arms to wrap around me and protect me, just like when they had a couple of nights ago, god he was handsome, I wouldn't have been surprised if he'd had a secret girlfriend hiding somewhere, because he was so gorgeous. I had showered, dressed in my best damn shirt I had, put some casual jeans on and my cologne, and as I assessed how I looked in the mirror I saw a 5'11, athletic and lean body looking back at me, I knew I was not bad looking, with dimples, a firm jaw and short black hair along with piercing hazel eyes which people commented on often, but recently I hadn't felt sexy, I hadn't felt good ever, I'd lived with Kian straight after college and he was my first boyfriend so I'd never really been a sexual creature, but tonight I thought what the heck, why not just have a laugh. Those were my last thoughts after I got out of my apartment, when I closed the door behind me I felt movement, to my surprise Ryan stood pacing back and forth, but stopped when he saw me, his eyes looked at me from head to toe, I laughed and did a twirl for his benefit. "So what do you reckon?...look good, gonna knock him dead?," he nodded, then, "You gonna be ok?..after everything?.." "Yeh, thanks, I think I need to cheer up tonight, and relax a little" I left after that, saying goodbye and heading outside to Johnny's waiting car. We headed to a local seafood restaurant, which overlooked the ocean and sat outside on the romantic, candlelit table. We settled in laughing and joking like old friends and it was great, we shared wine and oysters just enjoying each others company and the meal was complimented well with violins being played in the background. I found out that Johnny was gay from a very young age and was glad his parents had dealt well with it, it had been hard for them in the beginning because he had always had a new girl on his arm every week, but after some discussion and truths told his parents had finally accepted him. I told him the same about my parents and about my life in New York, and by the end of the night we were relaxed enough that I told him that I didn't want to get in to anything at the moment as I had come out of an abusive relationship, it just somehow seemed to come out of me, I also told him how great Sally and Derek were and about Ryan being so great by installing the security system for me. "Can I ask you something?.." he said leaning in closer over the table, as if trying to engage me better. "Sure..fire ahead" "Why don't you tell him?" "mhmm...tell who what?" I said looking confused and jolly. "tell Ryan that your in love with him" that stopped me, in love with Ryan?...he wasn't gay, "I..i.don't know what your talking about" I said, avoiding his eyes and playing with the food on my plate. "Come on Dillon, as much as I'd like something to happen between us, I can see that your heart's already taken. Sally suspected it to, but I wasn't quite sure if it was, but now I can definitely say it is, hes one lucky guy, you know that." "..But hes not gay" As the evening ended we stirred the conversation to other safer topics, over all the evening seemed to be a success, but Johnny had made me think on my feelings for Ryan, which I just wasn't ready to deal with. I headed upstairs ready to sleep and clear my head, but just as I was heading to my bedroom, a knock sounded at the door. Who was it this time?, I opened the door to a frustrated and jittery Ryan. "Why did you come back so late?" Ryan said barging through the door and shutting it behind him. "We,..,I...I don't think that's any of your business" I said more forcefully than was intended, the confusion I felt at the moment was overwhelming, but being in Ryan's presence was even more so.. He walked to the lounge area in front of my sofa, pacing back and forth like he had done earlier in the night. "what if his men were out there, did you think of that?..what if something happened to you?" I didn't think he cared that much. "I cant hide forever Ry.." "whats his name, tell me, tell me that bastards name" ".......its....Kian Montgomery" he still paced and I could see him thinking. "look, im going to bed..i'm really tired and I don't want to get in to this right now..". "did you have a good time?" he said quietly, "yeh..it was great, hes...great.." I felt uncomfortable talking about Johnny to Ryan, I guess I had a feeling that Ryan didn't like him, or because of the conversation I had had with Johnny. He walked back to the door, where I was standing with my back and head leaned against the door. I moved aside to let him open the door, but he unexpectedly grabbed my hand and pushed me back against where I was previously, just as suddenly he moved his head closer to mine so his lips were mere inches away from my own lips, he was close enough for me to smell his male aroma, he smelt so good that I didn't want to move in case he moved also. But to my surprise and delight he jammed his legs between mine and captured my lips with his own, first the kiss was fierce and dominant as if he was trying to take all of my taste and then when he plunged his tongue in to my mouth I thought I would die, he abruptly changed his rhythm with my mouth again by making tender love to my mouth with his lips, sucking slowly and then being aggressive again, I thought I would faint from the sensations, gradually his lips travelled down my neck and I moaned, which caused him to look back up at me "I want you..." he whispered, causing me to shiver, he kissed me again on my lips then pinned my hands up above me with his left hand, while his right hand made its way down torturously skimming my chest to my jeans, where he unzipped them, he slid down my boxer shorts slowly all the while staring in to my eyes. When my jeans and boxers were down around my ankles he looked down seeing my uncut 6 inch cock for the first time hard against my belly. Gradually moving his hand up my thigh he cupped my cock with his empty hand and I couldn't help but buck and writhe underneath him while he whispered quite words of comfort and arousal in my ear. `'ohhhh.. Ryan..." I said when I saw him get down on his knees, he was eye level with my cock now, and the expression on his face was of longing and want. "what..are...you......ughhhhhhhhh...shittt...R..Ryannn...noooo" I yelped and shouted when he put his mouth near me, the he engulfed me, licking and sucking at my now aching member tentatively, what was he doing to me, wasn't this dirty?..he then took all of me in him and bobbed up and down. "Ryan....what are you doing,,,ughh...I feeeel...i...ooh..oohooh,,..stttopp..." "let it happen baby, its alright, just let it go...let go..." "..aghh..shitt...ooh...ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" I screamed as jets of semen pumped out of my meat....7, 8 times which Ryan sucked up like a honey, he pulled back to my head and licked the remaining cum from me, he got up from his knees and kissed me sharing my own taste with me. I kissed him back passionately then collapsed against him too exhausted to move, I couldn't believe what just happened, it was surreal. Ryan put his arms around me and held and kissed my forehead, after a time he pulled back bent and pulled my trousers back up on me. "Ryan..I.." "Shhs..its okay baby" He led me by my hand to my bedroom then stripped me until I was in my boxer shorts, he stripped down to his boxers too and I could see him appreciating my body, his body was magnificent with strong broad shoulders, hair all over his chest down to his stomach which led right down to his boxers. His legs were also muscular and as I looked up I could see his cock straining against his now leaking boxers. He took my hand and put me in bed under the covers, then he got in with me on the other side. Ryan held me to him with his arms around me. "I'll be damned.....you've never had an orgasm before?" he said commenting on what we had done before, I blushed, "..no.....I...except for wet dreams.......Kian....never..you know...well I never thought what you did could happen" Ryan reassured me and told me it was a natural response and that Kian was one unlucky s.o.b to not get the pleasure of seeing me cum, I blushed even harder. "..oh..Ryan...you haven't..you know.." it hit me that he hadn't had the same pleasure as I had. "its ok..i wanted to see you first, it can be remedied later" as we lay holding each other, I could never have imagined Ryan was gay or bisexual, he was just too male. We slept both in our own thoughts of what laid in the future, I couldn't believe he had kissed me at first, so all this time did he fancy me?..did he want me as I wanted him, I knew he cared about me and after tonight I knew it was more. The next morning I woke to Ryan looking down on me on his elbow, he seemed so content just to watch me sleep. He kissed me then said he needed to get going and that we should get up. To my surprise Ryan cooked us a hearty breakfast, some strong coffee, kissed me tenderly on the lips saying that we had to talk. But first he had to go do something important, he left soon after promising to meet for lunch. My day passed incredibly slowly with me just thinking about the previous night and of what would had happened, if we had not gone to bed. It was still a shock to me, but I was eager to hear what Ryan had to say. For nothing better to do I cleaned the apartment from tip to toe, making sure everything was perfect, I changed the bed sheets, opened the windows and vacuumed the floor. Then I headed for the shower and by the time I was out it was nearly 1. Ryan came just after saying how he missed me. Because he had cooked breakfast for me earlier on the morning, I decided I would cook lunch. So With a simple dish of spaghetti bolognaise, with all the trimmings we settled on the kitchen table. "I guess last night was a surprise to you" "yeh..i didn't think you were gay," "I'm not, I....I...don't know how to explain it to you, its different with you, I don't fancy men, but you do something to me.. you looked so stunning last night.. and I could have killed Johnny for just being with you, I guess I was just jealous... then you came back late so I thought you had slept with him..the thought just made me so angry.." Ryan also said how he wanted to take it slow, and just wanted to spend time with me and protect me. "Nothing happened between us you know, he sort of figured out my mind was elsewhere.." Ryan lowered his lips to mine and kissed me with a renewed passion, while stroking the back of my head., which led to more making out. After lunch we headed to Sally's where we were entertained by Sally's 4 year old dancing and singing, Sally invited us to dinner but Ryan declined for both of us, Sally just smiled but I could tell Ryan was getting agitated and wanted to get out of there so we could be together, and that's exactly what I wanted too. When we got upstairs I headed for my door, expecting Ryan to follow, but to my surprise he grabbed my hand, saying it was his turn to share a little. We got inside his apartment and I felt a little odd, would we head for the bed or just talk. But Ryan answered my unanswered question saying that he wanted just to be with me, so we sat in front of the TV, me laying my head on Ryan's lap, and Ryan lounging his back on the settee just watching `the godfather', but I could honestly say that I had no clue what was happening, all I could feel was Ryan's hard cock pressed against the back of my head and how blissful this feeling was. Ryan traced his hand down my body and then back up again, I thought he was just soothing me, but when he without warning grabbed my cock, my head went back and I groaned "Your so hard" he whispered in my ear, oh my...I loved his hand on me, I couldn't help it, I bucked under his hand wanting more but he just held me, stroking me, but just as suddenly, he stopped and gave me a long drugging kiss, shit, hewas driving me crazy, I wanted more but I just didn't know how to ask for it. Then like nothing happened he turned his attention back to the Tv he was torturing me! just keeping me in a state of constant arousal. After the movie ended he said that it was late and we better get to bed, I scrambled up from his lap and he led me to his room which was just as masculine as he, I was starting to take off my shirt when he stopped me, he took over from my hands by slowly unbuttoning my shirt for me, skimming his fingers through my fine hairs on my chest. He kissed me and explored his hands all over my chest and then back. He then bent his head and took my nipple in to his mouth, my knees would have gave in if he had not held me up. He then quickly unzipped my jeans and pulled my boxers down and off me. When I was fully naked he just stood back and stared at me in awe, as if I was something untouchable. I don't know how long passed but he just stood there memorising me. "Touch me" I moaned. Understanding and need took over, he picked me up and pushed me down on to the bed, then he shucked his own jeans and briefs and laid on top of me so we pressed against each other intimately. We fit so perfectly together, like a jigsaw puzzle. I was so aroused by his cock that I couldn't help grinding myself against him. "oh shit...urgh..do that any longer and It will all be over sweet heart," Ryan took my hands and placed them on either side above me while he bent and bit my neck, then soothing the place he bit with tender, feather light kisses, I never knew any thing could feel like this, it was so erotic and yet so full of love. Then as if he remembered something he said, pulling his head up he asked "did he fuck you?.."which made me ashamed so I looked the other way, which dissipating our passion momentarily. "yeh...but I've never been on top, he never let me, something to do with his ego I guess.." "Dillon, I don't know what to do...I've never done this....make love to me..please?" I couldn't believe Ryan wanted me to make love to him, Kian had been too insecure, even though I'd said I wanted to do, he had never let me, this was new to me and I wanted to please Ryan and make him writhe in ecstasy under my touch, but I didn't know if I would be any good. "I've never been on top..I dunno if I'd make you feel good" "sweet heart you make me feel good now, look at what your doing to me" he said pressing my hand on his thick hard shaft..."we'll figure this out together." " Then he kissed me sweeping me into the haze of passion, which was ours, alone. We explored each other's body with me on top and Ryan writhing underneath me. I touched him everywhere, down his back and then gradually to the back of his muscular and defined thighs bypassing his tight ass. "Dillon...I..."Ryan was breathless and wanting more, exactly where I wanted him. I leaned to the side opening the drawer and finding exactly what I needed. I put the condom on the side and told him I needed lube, when he looked at me confused, I realised my own mistake and told him why men needed lubrication and he nodded with understanding. "do you have any Vaseline?" "yeh in the bathroom cabinet" I jumped off the bed and ran to the bathroom retrieving the lube, when I got back I could see the desire, fear and anticipation in his face. I came over to the bed, kissed him and told him to relax. Then I climbed on top of him. I warmed some Vaseline up between my hands and stared at his beautiful hard thick cock standing to attention. I put my knees either side of him and parted his legs and pushing them back up so I could see his brown small puckered hole. Then without thinking, I bent my head and kissed him there then lightly, tentively tasted him, that's when Ryan nearly leaped out of bed and cried out in pleasure "oooooh...Dill..mhmmm..hmm.." he was moaning in delight, so I continued my exploration by rimming him and then plunging my tongue right in and tasting him. I slurped and kissed around him, but when I knew he was close I stopped, making him groan in pain. But I knew he wasn't fully prepared to take me in yet so I then touched my finger to his hole and he fliched.."ooohh," I slowly stroked his hole, then I entered him, pushing through his tight warmth. He kept groaning as I moved my finger in and out, then I added a second and slowly a third finger so that he was stretched to the max, preparing for my shaft to fit inside of him like a glove. He rocked back and forth groaning and moaning, saying how he never knew it could feel this way, and he loved it. When I knew he was ready I braced my condom-clad shaft against his hole, which was lubed like my own cock, I slowly entered him and he bucked under me when the head popped in, I continued pushing until eventually all of me was inside of him. Wow it felt amazing, the power, the pleasure of entering heaven, I loved this. Ryan's face was a picture of desire mixed with pain, I knew I was big so he needed time to adjust inside of me. Then I began to move slowly at first, and then without my knowledge we built up a faster rhythm, and when Ryan nearly leaped of the bed, I knew I had hit his prostate; he groaned and bucked under me "ughhhhh...what is...that?..oohh...im ..im gonna cum...oh." Ryan came, releasing his cum all over his chest, as I watched I tripped over the edge into oblivion too, after a full minute I licked and tasted his delicious fluid in for the first time. We kissed and cuddled and held each other until the passion in us awoke again which we appeased to by me riding on Ryan's thick cock, we made love a lot that night, and when my back was pressed to Ryan's front, with his arms holding me in place I told him I loved him, he stiffened at first but then just kissed my neck and back reassuring me he cared, and when I felt his cock jutting hard against me, I pushed back against him and he entered me. Sally had sort of guessed Ryan and me were going out, so when we walked in hand in hand to her apartment the next day, not even Derek gave it a second glance, Sally had wanted to take us out for a meal to celebrate our coming together tomorrow night but I could tell Ryan was a bit reticent about it, though later he soon got around to my way of thinking. The next two nights were amazing and each night we made love with me telling him I loved him afterwards, but he only kissed me not even mentioning the words I longed to hear. When Friday night came around all of us set off to a Portuguese restaurant not too far, we talked and laughed and Derek told us that they were glad Ryan and I had got it together, they also surprised us buy telling us that number three was on the way, Ryan and I laughed and congratulated them, but all the while we were eating I could feel Ryan's eyes on me, assessing me, trying to engrain me in to his memory, and when I looked back at him he just stared, causing me to turn my head back, I felt nervous and excited at the same time, this was all new me and I didn't know if I could handle it. All the champagne we drank had me wanting to relieve myself, so I excused myself and headed to the rest room. As I finished up and zipped my pants, I heard another person come in as well, not expecting anyone I knew, I looked up staring at Ryan who had a look of hunger and desire on his face, and I knew he wanted me. He made his way towards me, grabbed my hand and took us in to a cubicle where he kissed me aggressively, dwelling his tongue in to my mouth to get a response from me I kissed him back with just as much passion, he then put his hands under my shirt and pinched and caressed my nipples making me so turned on I couldn't breath. He hurriedly unzipped my pants tugging my boxers down below to my knees and pushing his briefs and trousers down too. By this time I was too aroused to say anything but encourage him. He pushed me up against the side of the cubicle, bracing my legs around his hips, then took the precum of my cock to lube my hole and I grunted, he positioned himself against me and pushed in to me with his cock, in and out, in and out faster and faster while I braced my hands above his shoulders. Fuck, this was crazy; anyone could have walked in on us having hot sex right there and then. We groaned and grunted with pleasure, moving roughly and rhythmically until we both came simultaneously against each other, Ryan slowly eased out of me, cleaned me up, put my boxers back on me and zipped me up, when he was done he placed his fore head on the wall behind me and said he was sorry and that he couldn't help it, I was too damn beautiful. I kissed him to reassure him telling him that I didn't mind the passion, and I wanted him just as bad. When we got back 10 mins later Sally and Derek had big smirks on their faces, to which Ryan and me just blushed. Later the next week, as I was just flicking through Tv channels I unexpectedly received a phone call from a man who claimed he was a private detective hired by my parents; he also told me that my parents were worried and they had told him to find out where I was. He said that it wasn't safe for me to stay where I was, as people were tracking me. After I had hung up, I had stared unmoving for 2 mins, then I made up my mind to leave, no way in hell was I going to put the man I loved in danger, nor was I going to let anything happen to my new friends, this was my problem and I needed to deal with it. If the PA had found me, it was more than likely Kian had. I had to get out tonight, not even say good-bye, if they knew I was leaving they would only try to stop me. So I packed everything, locked the door to my apartment and slipped my key under Sally's door. That's when I heard someone yell "what the hell do you think your doing?!" "I have to leave, I'm sorry." I was nearly in tears but I kept myself strong because I knew letting go of Ryan would have been the hardest thing for me to do. "like hell you are!" he came forward to grab my suitcase, then he walked up stairs going to his apartment. "Ryan...don't..don't make this harder than it already is!" I said, in between tears. "you were leaving with out saying goodbye!" I explained to him the phone call I had received and that I didn't want anything to happen to him because of me "..didn't want anything to happen to me?!" he growled, "I would have gone crazy looking for you, your not going any where but staying here with me" "why?" I asked, which I knew was such a broad question. "because I can protect you," he said adamantly. I could see his fist clenched by his side showing his frustration. "its not enough.." I moved aside taking my suitcase from his side, "I can't endanger you, you mean too much to me.." I turned my back to him and was walking out the door when his next words stopped me. "...I love you Godammit!" he shouted, I turned slowly, seeing the tears rolling down his face and the pain that was so apparent in his eyes, the words I'd always longed for hit me to my core, and I Couldn't believe he'd actually said them. "I've loved you since the first. I tried to block it out and ignore it but it wouldn't go away...I want to protect you, love you, I cant live with out you dammit!" I couldn't take it any more, I ran in to his arms dropping my bag on the way, and we held each other professing our love. Then he pushed me on the ground and made passionate love to me, again and again, we kissed and caressed each other not willing to let go until we were both content and sated. The following weeks, we laughed and joked, talked about what we wanted in the future, cuddled, and made heated and passionate love during the night and sometimes during the day. It was late one evening when we were seated on the sofa, drinking some wine when Ryan broached a subject I wasn't expecting, he made me the happiest man ever when he told me that he had looked up on `Kian Montgomery' and he told me that he had died 2 weeks ago in a car accident. "I don't believe it" I said quietly, I didn't know what to think...I was free finally, from the threat of my life and my family and friends. "how?" "unexpected accident, truck crashed into the car he was in" I then without fear, called Melissa; she seemed so pleased that I had called, as Kian's death had been news for sometime. After I got of the phone, Ryan just held me to him, saying he could understand how I felt, and now I could stop being scared because I was free. Everything was perfect, when he quietly asked "are you going back to New York?" he sounded insecure and vulnerable, something I knew it was hard for Ryan to feel. "No, I will go, but for now I want to stay where your are, I want to live with you,,,but I think we will just end up sharing the same floor" to that Ryan laughed hard....was I missing something? "what is it?" "no way do I want you across the hall from me, I want to wake up to you in the morning, spend lazy Sundays with you curled up on my sofa, and to hold you, I want to spread whip cream on your body and slowly lick it off with you writhing underneath me begging. I want it all under our roof." And that's exactly what I wanted too. "I own this and the other apartment buildings on this block, it may not seem that I show it, but I was tired of the rich life style, now that I have you, I may be more inclined to spend some cash on a new house, just for us" I was shocked but playfully hit him and told him he should have told me and that I really wasn't after his money. "yeh..i know, your just after what's in my pants" Ryan and I moved not far off to a comfortable 3 bedroom house, we still saw Sally, D and the kids, but we most of all loved spending time with each other and unravelling new things about each other we never knew. We are still so in love, and now, 3 years on we know that we will be together forever because I had come home, I had found the other half of my soul. Comments are also welcome; I love hearing what people think about this story, you can email me at Lyonturner@yahoo.co.uk I hope you enjoyed it!!