Date: Wed, 5 Aug 2020 20:27:52 +0000 (UTC)
From: Justin Balancier <jbalancier9@yahoo.com>
Subject: Shameless  - Part 1

Shameless

Part 1

By Justin Balancier
Jbalancier9@yahoo.com

The following story is fiction. Any resemblance to persons, places or
things, are purely coincidental

********************

Change is inevitable and nobody can argue with that. It is like the wind;
blowing everyplace across the globe. There is good change struggling
against the villain in yesterday's society, when folks raised their eyebrow
at the mentioned of sissy, fairy, queer, girlie, fagot and finally gay.

Take a look.

My name is Joseph, but Joe or Joey will do. I am forty four years old and
still in decent shape. I look at the pretty twenty-two year olds, turning
down one hook up after another, from hot guys, and I don't know whether to
get drunk or just cry.

*********************

"Can I buy you a drink?" I asked a man sitting quietly by himself. He was
seated at a diner lunch counter.

"What did you say?"

"I asked if I could buy you a drink," I replied

"I'm good, why would you ask that? This is the Metro Diner, not a bar."

"How else would I get you to talk to me?" I said to him

He didn't reply but looked down and tapped his finger on the counter a
couple of times. He slowly looked back at me and said – "You're gay"

"Yeah, nothing hits as hard as life and I tend be brazen at times. I saw
you and I just wanted to say hello"

"I'm not gay, buddy"

"I didn't ask that"

"Look, this is your thing and good for you. How many times have you used a
line like that?  I am not interested in talking to you. How about sliding
over about three stools away from me."

"Sure, I can do that; are you afraid of catching something?"  "He started
to grin and I knew I had struck a chord with him. His name was Tom; at
least that was the name on his shirt. He was in the carpet cleaning
business. I recognized the company name and saw the Carpet Clean" truck
parked outside.

"Okay – I'm moving." I said "You may think it's a familiar tune, but I
meant nothing by it."

"Ahh, keep your ass there. You're fine. Just don't talk to me"

Tom was average looking somewhere in his forties with thinning dark
hair. He had a short trimmed beard and neatly dressed with a good body. He
appeared solid but not muscular. I knew I was not going to get anyplace
with him; but I liked the challenge of getting him to talk to me. I am
rather shameless.

"You don't look gay," Tom said to me

"How would I have to look to be gay?" I asked

"Dumb comment, huh?" he said

"Yup, dumb"

"I told you, it wasn't my thing, so fuck it – dumb comment and all. How
you look means nothing to me." Tom mumbled stirring his coffee, looking
straight ahead.

"It's not so dumb," I replied, "You can spot gay men by the way they speak,
use their hands, the way they walk and the way they look at you with a
certain locked expression. It's a combination of things. The other side of
the coin, there are gay men who do none of these things, so you have to
guess by the company they keep."

"Jesus, sorry I mentioned it," commented Tom, "who the hell cares about all
that shit? I don't need a lesson in Homo 101. Don't you ever shut up?"

"You can say something more direct than that," I said

"Probably, but you wouldn't like it, Mother Teresa"

"Okay, I'll move," sorry to bother you

`You don't talk like a drama whatever they call it.  I haven't seen you
walk, your wrist is not limp, but who knows"

"Nice you approve," I said, "sounds like you've got it all figured out."

"Ha, ha-ha, – shut the fuck up and move or don't move.  What's good on
the menu? Tom asked completely changing the subject.

"Depends on how hungry you are," I said "I'm a pretty big guy, so I can
handle a good lunch." He paused and said; "Don't be looking at my crotch
because I said I was a big guy. I know how you gay people are."

"That sounds gay to me"

"Why would you say that?"

"I donno, I think it was the word `crotch' a straight dude would most
likely say "dick or my cock"

"That's nuts"

"Probably, so forget about it"

"Geezus," was all he said, giving his head a whacko movement a couple of
times.

Tom ordered chicken and dumplings for lunch and I copied him ordering the
same thing.

We sat side by side saying very little. Tom was not as rough as he
pretended. The way he spoke to the waitress was rather sweet and his smile
was a knockout. Maybe he was just being a gentleman.  It surely looked that
way. Beats me why I even wanted to talk to him, I had to be mentally foggy.

I was fixated on his mouth. His beard was hot, I mean really hot, with
handsome white teeth glowing every time he smiled. He reminded me of Hugh
Jackman's perfect mouth.

"So what do you do, he asked me - for a living I mean.

"I work for a landscaping company,"

"So you dig in the dirt."

"Among other thing; yes, I do my share of dirt digging. Plants and shrubs
need to get into the ground and somebody's got to do it."

"Good answer"

"I think so; I am good at what I do." I said

"That doesn't surprise me. I bet you are." He replied.

There was another lull in the conversation. I tried to look between his
legs but hesitated knowing Tom was not comfortable with showing me
anything.

We exchanged a few more words and he was friendlier, but on the quiet side.
He finished his coffee and swiveled around on his stool to face me.  He was
wearing work jeans that showed off his muscular thighs not to mention a
bulge, but I didn't stare.  I glanced between his legs and a package was
outlined in his jeans.  He made me nervous.

He sat that way for a minute or so and I knew, or I thought I knew, that he
was doing it on purpose just so I could look at his stuff.  It is a tried
and true story and I could have used some of that therapy between his legs,
but understood we were two different men altogether.

"Gotta run, you are a cool guy," He said to me

"Thanks" was all I said. "Cool hell," I thought. "I am a wreck."

On my return to work I thought about him briefly. Especially his
mouth. Good Lord, what a handsome mouth on this dude.  Somebody's mouth is
not something I usually notice, but this character had it all when it came
to lips, teeth and flesh framed with facial hair. Damn it was hot.

My job that day was replacing overgrown shrubs in front the National Bank
here in town.

"Digging in the dirt huh? I guess somebody has to do it," a voice from
behind me said. It was Tom.

"Where the fuck did you come from?" I asked sweating and feeling not so
glamorous. I was dying to take my shirt off, but we are not supposed to do
that working around public places and established businesses; which
included the bank.

"I came out the bank after cashing a check."  He answered and spotted you.

"I'm surprised, seeing you twice in one day; that is pretty cool. Maybe
it's an omen, I said trying to be funny"

"Well, I didn't plan it. You just happened to be here doing your digging,"
he said with a friendly grin and not condescending.  I guess I am on the
right side of right, he concluded

"Lucky me," I said

"How's that?"

"I'm finished and you are here, so now I can buy you the drink I tried to
do earlier' I said showing my excitement

"Naw, that's okay, you don't have to do that."

"Still afraid of me, huh?" I said "It's only a drink."

"Afraid hell, I'm not afraid of anybody, unless they are holding a
gun. Then I get a little nervous. You are not hiding a gun, are you?"  He
asked

"Could be," I said grinning

"I don't want to see it" exclaimed Tom "You won't because it would jump up
and hit you in the face."

"Shut the fuck up," said Tom. "Let's go and you are buying."

"I said I would buy the damn drinks, want to follow my truck."

"You are not going to any fuckin gay joint," barked Tom

"No, I am going to an old men's saloon with sawdust on the floor spittoons
and dirty windows. You will feel right at home."

"Nice fella – real nice," commented Tom. "You know that is not cool."

"I'm not doing so well, am I? That was sarcastic so I owe you one."

"One what?" asked Tom

"An apology"

"Oh – yeah, an apology." Mumbled Tom

We left together and went to a neighborhood bar for a drink. It was not the
saloon that I was babbling about. It was just a local tavern, not a gay
bar, nor was it filled with old men or sawdust.

We sat side by side for the second time that day, only now, friendly to one
another. It wasn't great, but at least we were talking.

"Are you married Tom?" I asked

"Divorced"

"Me too"

"You too what? Married or divorced?" Tom asked

"Take your pick, I can lie about either of them and happily admit that I'm
full of crap."

"How the fuck can you answer a question without saying anything that makes
sense?" Tom asked

"I'm driven by confidence"

"You're a jackass"

"That too," I agreed starting to laugh

We had two glasses of beer and left. We stood outside about to go separate
ways, when Tom asked me a question.

"Do you bowl? I mean, do you like bowling?"

"It's not my favorite pass time, but yes, I like to bowl?"  "I need a
bowling partner for tomorrow night 7:00 pm. Are you interested?  Asked Tom

"Sure. Where are you bowling?"

"The Sunset Alley on First Street."

We exchanged Text numbers in case something got changed. "I can meet you
there about 6:30 pm" I said

The following day was Saturday and I thought about meeting Tom all day
long. It was crazy, I didn't think he even liked me and certainly not in
the way I liked him; but "it is what it is" using a tired old declaration.

We bowled for about an hour or so, and after the first gutter ball, I was
doing pretty well. I had a couple of strikes but not as consistent as Tom.

The best thing about bowling was watching his husky body stretch with his
cock moving in his pants and a firm looking ass that rocked my appreciation
for being gay. I swear he was showing off for me, but probably not. It was
just wishful thinking.

After bowling, standing outside on First Street, I looked for Tom's car,
but it wasn't there. My pickup truck was there but that was it.

"Where did you park," I asked

"I didn't. I walked. I live the next block over, so I walked"

"Want a lift," I asked

"Sure, but how about going for a drink, It's still early and my turn to
buy?"

"Yeahhh, but I was going to stop by myself at a gay club and you won't go
there."

"I'll go," said Tom

"Naw, that's not your thing," I said "You won't like it."

"I'm not going for a blowjob. I am going for a drink and I am going with
you; not looking for any gay action," Barked Tom

"Whew, okay but don't get pissed if some dude hits on you. It happens and
the way you look, I am certain of it," I said

We went to "Tones" a more reserve place with no screaming queens. I thought
Tom would be more at ease there away from the swishy "Fuck you, Mary"
crowd.

Tony the bartender and owner, was a great guy. He was older probably in his
sixties and a real gentleman. With Tony you always got a straight answer
and it made folks feel secure.

The place was a little crowded but not packed. We sat at the bar and
ordered beer. A few people recognized me and some stopped to say hello.

Tom was sitting and I stood leaning against the bar with my foot on the
stool.

"What do you think?" I asked

"Nice place. It's kinda cool with no women in the joint?" He said

"Oh, there are some ladies here," believe me" I said smiling

"Well, you are not one of them,"

"I told you that in the diner at lunchtime," I said

"Oh Geezus," said Tom cracking a smile that tore me apart looking at that
beautiful mouth. I wanted to grab his face with both hands and just start
sucking mouth – but that would never happen.

"Joey, how good to see you again darling. Who is this gorgeous man you are
with? Asked Rodney, an old queen who played the piano after 10:00 pm until
closing. He stated rubbing my ass in a friendly way, I was used to Rodney.
Not a problem.

"Hey bud, how about keeping your hands off Joey."  Tom said in a shocking
display of jealousy.

"Ewe, get Miss Thing;" said Rodney walking away.

"I know – I know, you warned me about getting hit on. I just didn't like
seeing that creep touching you.

"Rodney is not a creep. He is a sweet man and that is how he treats
everybody." I replied "He didn't touch you, as tempting as it might be."

"I will go and apologize," said Tom.

"No let's forget it"

"Okay"

"Yeah, okay" I repeated

We left Tones and went to sit in the truck. I had parked towards the back
of the lot where it was dark and secluded.

"I'm shocked you covered for me, Rodney is harmless" I said.

"I'm shocked too; I don't know why I butted in. He is your friend and your
ass,"

"You like me" I said

"Maybe a little, yeah you're okay," Tom replied

"I think you like me" I repeated

"I'm not gay," stressed Tom

"You don't have to be gay to like somebody"

"I do like you Joey and it is fucking with my head. I like being around
you." admitted Tom. "Do you think I am queer?" he asked

"I doubt it. I'm sure you would know.  I'll drive you home and we can make
out in the truck; then you will know"

"What, you fuckin nuts?"

"Or, we can go inside and have good sex on the floor" I blurted out not
being serious.

"What am I going to do with you? Said Tom

"Let me drive you home and you can decide what, if anything, you want to
do."

"Naw"

"Okay, that's fine"

Tom sat quietly thinking and I had no idea what to expect. He sat up
straight stretched his legs forward and said; "Let's make out in the truck
and let's do it here."

"And then you will never speak to me again," I said finishing his
statement.

"Of course I will, I know what I'm doing. I don't know what I want, but
with you, I will find out." He said

Nothing hits like reality and I didn't see it coming. Meeting Tom was all
too quick, too sudden, ridiculous and shameless.

He took my hand and placed it between his legs. His cock was hard and he
was not joking about fooling around.

This is what one calls right on time. He did a turnabout when it came to
touching. It seemed to happen after being in a gay bar. Sounds funny but
it's true.

His zipper came down and I mumbled breathlessly as my hand slipped between
his cock and his balls.

I have been messing with cock for years and it has always been the same
routine and easy to do. Now however, this was scary and wonderful at the
same time. I felt like I was touching forbidden fruit and it was beyond
different.  I trembled like a teen age virgin about to discover what lust
was and what was real.

My hand was drawn to him like a magnet. My fingers moved through the hairy
moist forest between his legs. I struggled to wipe the gooey tip of his
cock, but the underwear and pants were too tight; they had to come down

"Ohhh, fuckin sweet," he mumbled, leaning back, giving me complete access
to his moist hairy private parts.

*******************

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