Date: Sun, 19 Jul 2020 08:17:05 +0100 From: Alain Mahy Subject: Solitude 3 Please, keep donating to Nifty as to keep this site free. Getting over Frank had been difficult. Getting over David was even more painful as we went on seeing each other on a very regular basis. What helped me a lot were, of course, the visits at Aidan's practice, but also the fact I could see that David was truly happy with Veronica. The lonely moments in my house were getting at me like a cancer that eats you from inside. My sexual appetite had disappeared completely to the point I didn't even masturbate anymore. Oh yes, I watched porn and read erotic stories on the internet. My cock would then swell a little but never to a full hard-on. Aidan tried to get me out of my house to go clubbing but I was rarely up for it. I hated myself when indulging in self-pity and deplore my loneliness. If I was honest with myself, it was my own fault. Veronica and David often asked me to go to there place for a nice dinner and she even suggested a few times that we should have a boys-night. The dinners were ok, but we never had the suggested boys-night. Months went by and yes, even years. I became convinced that I would be and stay alone. I had not been able to keep any of the lovers I had and lost the hope to find one. When I was in such a lonely state, every man I crossed on the street or at the supermarket, became a potential lover. Sometimes I let my imagination fly freely and get aroused by what could happen. It never did of course. Aidan tried to convince me of the "Law of Attraction" saying that I had to set my mind on what I wanted instead of thinking about what I didn't want. He tried to teach me the strength of positive thinking, but my mind was not set to it. I even started to get comfortable in the loneliness of my home without seeing anybody, let alone inviting people. That year, at Christmas, Aidan gave me my first mobile phone as they were called then, or a cellphone as it is better known today. In comparison with what we have today, they were BIG and didn't offer all the possibilities we have now. It was just that : a phone to call or receive calls. There was still no text messages or ID identification. At the beginning I mostly forgot to charge the battery and when going out, mostly forgot to take it with me. After that, each year at Christmas, Aidan gave me an update version of the cellphone. On the computer I had, I started to install some apps and found a few websites that offered chatrooms. At that time people were not as open yet as they are now. The chats were chaste. Sex was not even mentioned. The only thing I knew was that the people in the chatrooms I entered, were gay. We were far from mentioning the top and bottom positions, except when we started a private chat, one-on-one. I seriously believed every word that was said in these messages till I discovered there were quite a lot of liars and people pretending to be someone they were not. I accumulated deception after deception and with time it became even worse to the point I abandoned the chatrooms and my trust in people fell even lower. David and Aidan chose exact the same period of time to get "mad" at me, saying I was wasting my life and that if I was going to shut myself up in my house, I was not going to meet anybody. As I already said, solitude is really a bad counselor. It was only when Aidan said he was going to prescribe some antidepressant pills that I realized there was really something wrong with me. I had to face the facts and react. My reaction was probably not the best one as I started to go back to the cruising park that was still in full activity, even after all those years. Some things never change. The first thing I noticed was that the guys were a lot younger than they used to be when I first discovered the cruising area. I also saw that I didn't have the same success I had all those years ago. Mentioning it to Aidan, he came up with the same Law of Attraction he'd mentioned earlier. -It is time for you Al to change the chip in your head. You are still young and attractive and you deserve to be happy, but if you are going to show the face you have now, I would be very much surprised anybody would want to get close to you. Talking about a wake-up call would be putting it very mildly. That night we went for a dinner together and even before we reached the restaurant, he told me he was going to crush me with his words and observations. Knowing him like I did, I was not looking forward to it. I also knew that he was doing it for me, for my well being and was preparing myself to listen to him till the last word. I was not expecting what he said. Even less when he told me I looked like a vagabond, not taking care of my clothes or appearance in general. He said I urgently needed to go to the hairdresser. He had told me I needed a total make-over and that he was going to take charge of it. He warned me to prepare my credit card and have the next Saturday completely free of any commitment. I smiled when he said that as I NEVER had any commitment or appointment. That Saturday morning he first took me to the hairdresser. When I wanted to say what I wanted he just said I had not a word to say about it. His hairdresser was known in town as being the best. During over two hours that guy was busy with me with colors, scissors and brushes. He even shaved me properly. Finally, he allowed me to see myself in the mirror and I was flabbergasted. I didn't even recognize myself as my hair was now cut in a very modern style, with a slight brighter color in it and my chin clean shaven. It can sound strange to you, but I was thinking I would try to seduce a guy like the one I saw in the mirror. I loved this new look and I even brightly smiled at my reflection. Aidan was super happy with the results as well and even paid for update sessions every two weeks during the following three months. I had no choice as to show up on the dates written on an appointment card. The effect was immediate as soon as we left the salon. I noticed that women as well as men were looking at me and at last my ego received a serious boost. Aidan dragged me in several boutiques and made me spend quite some money on a new wardrobe. Jeans, T-shirts, button-down shirts, sweaters, more formal clothing and shoes and even underwear. When I undressed in the first boutique, the first thing he handed me were nice fitting underwear and ordered me to pull them on. He gave me several complete outfits and I had to admit they looked fantastic. While I was trying-on the outfits, Aidan took my old clothes and I heard him say to the shopkeeper to throw them away before I could go back to my old habits. Instead of the blacks and the grays I used to wear, I was leaving that first boutique with faded blue jeans, bright colored T-shirt and brand new Nike's on my feet. For the first time in month I looked at myself in the mirror, being proud and happy with what I saw. After leaving each shop, Aidan put the bags in his car and we went for the next shop. In the early evening we sat down at a terrace of a little café and I got many stares from people passing by. Aidan was beaming as well. He saw he had done a good job. I avoided to think about the abuse I did on my credit card. Before going to have yet another nice meal, we went to my house. Aidan was still in charge and without asking, he went to my bedroom and opened my wardrobe, taking out EVERYTHING I had and putting it in big plastic bags. -That will be for charity. We emptied all the shopping bags and replaced my old clothes with new ones. The drawer of my underwear followed the same treatment and except for a pair of formal shoes, all the other ones were in a plastic bag as well. He didn't give me a choice. -If with such a total make-over you don't change the chip in your head, I will have to get a gun or a riffle. Now come up and help me load these bags in the car so we can take them to charity. I am sure if I let you do it, you would put it all back in your closet... and hurry as we have an appointment with David and Veronica. Once again, I had no choice. We dropped all the bags at the charity and drove on to a restaurant Aidan had selected. When we entered, David and Veronica were waiting at the bar and when they saw me, their mouths dropped almost to the floor. They were stunned by my new look and congratulated Aidan for the fantastic job. The waiter came to say our table was ready and during the short walk to it, I felt all eyes on me, or at least that's how it felt. We sat down and David couldn't take his eyes off of me. Veronica whispered (loud enough so I could hear her) that I looked absolutely gorgeous. -My dear wife, David answered, if he had looked like that when I was living with him, you wouldn't have stand the slightest chance. -Don't make me feel guilty of taking you away from him, she said laughing. Aidan had ordered a degustation menu for us and even that was new to me. Yes, he had cared for all the details to make me feel well, make me feel new. After the meal, David and Veronica invited us to a new piano-bar. It was not a gay place, but at least it was gay-friendly. In the center of the place there was indeed a grand piano that you normally seen only can find in a symphonic orchestra. Around that piano there were barstools and that was where we sat. The pianist was excellent and whatever song you asked him, he could play it perfectly. I guessed him to be my age and I had to admit he was quite attractive. Aidan had been right. The new look gave me a new found confidence in me and I didn't hesitate to look the pianist in the eyes. My look was returned and the smile on his face was enticing. Our mutual stares didn't go unnoticed. Aidan was not particularly diplomatic or subtle when he introduced me to the pianist who's name was George. We shook hands and a spark of electricity jumped over form me to him. Or was it from him to me? We held hand a little longer than was necessary for politeness purposes. Aidan's bluntness took over once again. -George, for your information, my best friend Al here is single and searching. If my perception as a professional psychologist is right, you look interested as well. I would suggest you exchange phone numbers. I got as red as a tomato and was embarrassed by his bluntness. I knew when Aidan had something on his mind, he went for it. Nonetheless, I was not prepared for what he just did. I had never seen Aidan being so forward. I knew why he was doing it. In his opinion, the total make-over would only be finished if someone new would enter in my life. In his humble opinion George was the perfect candidate. I didn't know which way to turn to. David and Veronica were hysterically laughing and found the whole situation hilarious. Aidan looked amused at me. -There you go Al. I opened the door a little. You just have to push a bit more and enter. When I finally found the courage to look at George, I could only see a bright smile and be happy he hadn't taken it the wrong way. I guessed he had lived enough strange situations at his piano. I didn't act fast enough in Aidan's eyes and he took a paper napkin and his pen, wrote my mobile number on it and gave it to George. He looked at it and put it in his tuxedo pocket. He then went into another pocket and came up with a kind of business card that he handed me, and not Aidan. I looked at his name under which was mentioned he was pianist and his number. I put it in the back-pocket of my jeans. After that, Aidan started to ask George to play some songs. Each and every one of them was a kind of love declaration and George answered to each of them with a suggestive song of his own. It was funny and we even sang a few of which we knew the lyrics. At twelve sharp, George made a sign to the bartender who started pre-recorded CD's and closed the lit of the piano keyboard. He then went to the bar and came back with refills of our drinks and joined us in the conversations. George stood next to me and didn't leave my side. I was so aware of him standing next to me and could even smell his cologne that I seemed to recognize although couldn't put a name on it. When our drinks were empty, David and Veronica left to go home. Aidan was going to leave with them and left me his car-keys, insisting I should stay a little longer. That was how I got to be alone with George who was all smiles. We talked about everything and nothing, basically learning to know each other. That was how I learned he was single after a toxic relationship with a guy that was deadly jealous to the point he had to put a restraining order on his name. I also noticed that George was a very tactile man as he was constantly touching me in one place or another. When the bar was about to close, I reached out my hand to shake his. -Thank you for the lovely evening George, I really enjoyed it a lot and I will certainly come back as this was the first time. -I know it was your first time. I would not have forgotten you if you had been here before. -If you had seen me this morning, I was not the same person. And so I told him my day and what Aidan had done for me. George was not satisfied with a handshake and pulled me in a hug, whispering in my ear. -It seems your friend has done a wonderful job. You are indeed very attractive and I hope to see you again very soon. I want to know everything about you. -You will if you want. We parted each our way. I drove home and as I could text now, I sent Aidan a thank you and told him I was safe and well home. Before I switched off the lights and go to sleep, I got a message from George that just said: "Thank you" and answered "You are more than welcome". Yes, the alcohol helped a bit and I slept like I had not slept in years. I didn't remember what I dreamt. I could only say I slept well and felt new and full of energy. I called Aidan to see how I could get him his car back. It was not that he lived so far away so we met at a little café with a terrace halfway between his house and mine. He was already seated when I arrived and he congratulated me on my good choice and combination of clothes. He was very eager to know how my evening ended and I told him. -Good! I am very proud of you and I see that the make-over gave you new energy. Please, don't lose it! -I won't, I promise! I even thought to go through with the make-over and redecorate my house, or even sell it and buy something new! -Well, well, well ... once you start, you don't stop I see. Do you think it is the best moment to sell your house. The real estate market is not at its best right now. -I have a real estate agent that has put his card in my letterbox several times already, telling me that if I wanted to sell, he was very interested. That house is far too big for me as you know and I saw that they are building a new construction on the edge of the park. I am curious to know what kind of prices they are going to ask. The location is absolutely perfect. There was no time as the present time Aidan said and we got up and walked towards the park to see if there was any advertising. They had finished the ground floor completely and installed a sales office. There was no commitment to enter and ask some information. How much coincidence more could we encounter when we saw that the sales manager was nobody else but George. He looked genuinely happy to see me and the feeling was reciprocal. This time Aidan was his usual old self and realized that two is a company but three is a crowd. He came up with a lame excuse that he had to be somewhere else and disappeared as by magic. George asked how I had found him and I told him it was pure coincidence and related the conversation I had had with Aidan only fifteen minutes earlier. George immediately switched over to "professional" mode telling me that the apartments were selling slowly, to the point the constructor had decided to lower the prices but not the quality. There were several units that were still available and when I saw the prices I was pleasantly surprised as they were cheaper than what I thought they would be. With the estimate I had for my house, I could certainly afford one of the apartments. I was intrigued that there was no mention of a penthouse and George explained that all apartments had the same size as well inside as the terraces. There was no way they could call any of them "penthouse". -But there is an apartment on the highest floor that is still available. If you want to see it, I can show it to you. He closed the door of the office and we went up. The apartments were ample and spacious. The terraces were facing south. They were not really big, but you could easily put a table and four chairs as well as two sun-beds. The living room had floor to sealing French doors and a lot of natural light came in. The kitchen was a perfect size and fully equipped. There were two nice sized bedrooms, each with an ensuite. A supplementary room could be used as office and at the far end there was a laundry room and storage. George mentioned that each apartment had also two parking sports included in the basement. Lights, decoration and curtains were for the client to pay. As we were standing on the terrace, overlooking the park, George had his hand on my lower back and I could actually FEEL his energy flowing into me. I couldn't help myself and turned towards George and kissed him softly on the lips. He wrapped both arms around me and pressed himself against my body. Our kiss turned into a very passionate one. When we broke the kiss and looked in each other's eyes, they were moist. We didn't say a word, but shared yet another kiss. George was the first to talk. -Where have you been my whole life? I've been searching for you! I have been so lonely for so long, but if you are the answer to my prayers, it has been worth waiting. My God! He could say the sweetest things. We had a lot to talk about as I wanted him to know everything that had brought me to this precise moment and I wanted to know the same of him. But there, on that terrace, I was speechless. I was in his arms and had wrapped mine around his neck. I didn't want to break the embrace as it was too magical, too special, too beautiful. We could have stayed like that till sunset, but that was not realistic. We made a last tour of the apartment and went back down to George's office. We looked once again over the blue prints and the descriptions of what was foreseen and included in the price. Also very important was to know at which precise date the apartment would be ready to move in. I told George I had to wait a bit as I needed to sell my house first and that a real estate guy had left me his card more than once. He asked me where it was located and when I mentioned my address, his eyes grew as big as saucers. -Wait a minute... Is your house the one with the Art Deco entrance? -That is the one indeed. Why? -I think I know who the guy is that left his card. Give me a minute. He took out his phone and looked at the list of his contacts and pushed the call button. -Hey Jeffrey, good morning! George here... -... -Were you not telling me there was a house with an Art Deco entrance that you were interested in? -... -I think I have good news for you as that house is for sale now. While Jeffrey seems to get over enthusiastic at the other side of the line, George took a piece of paper and wrote: "How much?" I took the pen out of his hands and sensing the other party was really interested, I wrote town the price I wanted but first added a good 20.000 to it for in case they wanted to bargain. George looked at the price, lifted his shoulders and announced a selling price with another 20.000 on top. I couldn't hear the reaction of Jeffrey but George had a wide smile on his face. -... George looked at me and asked if it was a selling price furnished or not. I immediately said it was furnished. -There would be a supplement of 15.000 if you want ti furnished. -... George asked me when Jeffrey could come over and visit the house, covering his phone with his hand. -Tonight if he wants. You can come with him and maybe stay a little after he's gone... That was pure wishful thinking on my part and I crossed my fingers George would accept my suggestion. Jeffrey and George talked a little longer before they hung up. -I think your house is sold. Jeffrey didn't even try to bargain the price. I think he thought it would be a lot more expensive. I should have added more to your price. -Well, if Jeffrey buys my house, you can consider the apartment you showed me as sold as well. -I think Destiny is sending us a good sign Al. We'll be more than good neighbors I think. -What do you mean? -The other apartment on the same floor is mine. It was an arrangement I made with the constructor and as soon as everything is sold, instead of paying a commission in money, the second apartment on the seventh floor will be mine. My first idea was to keep it as an investment, but now that you are going to live next door, I might keep as a living accommodation. -Okay!!! Let's cross fingers Jeffrey decides quickly. We made arrangements for that same night at 7pm. I wanted to rush back home and tidy up a bit and even pass the vacuum cleaner and clean the kitchen a bit. I wanted my house as presentable as could possibly be. At 7 o'clock sharp the doorbell rang and I let them in. Jeffrey said he was in heaven, that he had dreamed of my house during months and years. He just adored the way the house was decorated and was more than satisfied with the price of the furniture. He hadn't even seen all the features of the house when he said he was buying. He came prepared as he had all the necessary papers to sign to confirm the sale. He even had a bank check for almost 25% of the total price of the house and furniture. Not in my wildest dreams had I ever hoped to have such a quick and good sale. He looked around a last time before leaving. George immediately took me in his arms and we sealed that first deal with a passionate kiss. But George wouldn't be George if he had not prepared all the paper work for the apartment. I signed on the designated dots and wrote a check as deposit. Another passionate kiss sealed the second deal of the evening. A little before nine, George had to leave as he was playing at the piano bar. I was a bit disappointed as I had other plans. I realized it was difficult to upset our lives a hundred percent in less than 24 hours. I quickly went upstairs to change clothes and go with him. He didn't have to drop by at his place as he kept his tuxedo at the bar. I would learn later that he always had a few clean white shirts at the bar as well. During the three hours George played non-stop, I sat on a stool next to the magnificent grand piano like a love-sick puppy. I felt I was a teenager again, falling in love for the first time. In a way it was ridiculous to feel like that, but I couldn't help it. The whole time I felt a tingle in my groin. I wasn't hard but wasn't flaccid either. I caught myself making the biggest mistake ever: I compared him with Frank and David. It was stupid. I always proclaimed there are no two identical people and that each person is unique. George didn't look like Frank or David. He was tall and handsome. His dirty blond hair was always combed to perfection. His square chin gave him an aristocratical look. His beard was trimmed to leave a growth of a few days and his eyes were penetrating. They were not blue, nor greenish. They were a light grey color and were adorned with the most beautiful lashes. His clothes hid broad shoulders and what I could only imagine as a firm and defined chest. I wouldn't be surprised if he had a perfect beginning of a six pack. His trousers confined strong legs that I hoped would be hairy and I didn't know how he did it to hide his genitals even when he was wearing jeans like this afternoon. All his proportions that I could see were as perfect as a marble statue. Although I looked ok thanks to Aidan's make-over, I was surprised he was attracted to me. His words at the apartment were sticking in my brain. What had he seen in me that made him want to kiss me? Comparing him with Frank and David, who were look-a-likes made no sense. I fortunately realized it almost immediately. George looked a lot more confident than my two previous lovers and it was probably why he had success in his professional life, being it as pianist or as real estate salesman. I still had so much to learn about him and there I was sitting, looking at him as if he was a sudden angelical appearance. I admired his hands that softly travelled over his keyboard and wondered how they would feel on my naked flesh. He had that magic touch on the keys that I always admired when I saw a pianist play without looking at the keys. Fortunately for him as he was constantly looking at me with that enigmatic smile that was captivating me. When he closed the lit of his piano, I couldn't imagine that the three hours he was supposed to play, were already over. -Let me change and let's get out of here. I waited for him outside the bar in the cool and pleasant summer air. I didn't see him coming but felt two strong arms grabbing me from behind and a soft kiss on my neck. I abandoned myself in his embrace. I didn't need to move as I was happy as we were standing there. There was nothing romantic about standing in the street but I didn't care as I was where I wanted to be: in his arms. I knew I was falling for him, more than I did with Frank, more than I had done with David. I guessed it was because everything was so new. It was obvious that Aidan had initiated a total make-over in my looks. I had initiated a total make-over in my housing, but it was George who apparently was initiating a total make-over in my heart. He had said he had been searching for me his whole life. I hadn't answered that and not even admitted to it myself and crossed my fingers I would be able to express my feelings to him. I wanted to pronounce the L word, but was afraid to do so. I had done it twice in my life and the first person I said it to had died. The second was unreachable since he married Veronica. I was afraid to pronounce the L word just for that. That fright had nothing to do with the person I was with. I guess it was more psychological. I should talk about that with Aidan as I didn't want to jeopardize whatever I was starting with George. We walked quietly in the night, whispering more than talking till we reached the left bank of the river that crosses our city. We sat down in the grass and had our hands and fingers entwined. We were totally relaxed and comfortable with each other. Gorge told me the sick jealousy his ex had and why he had left him despite that otherwise he was a nice guy. I told him about Frank and his sudden death. There was no self-pity in what we were saying, just sharing past experiences. The past is just that: the past: It is good to say it out aloud as to make the other understand how we are and what we lived and made us the person we are today. It can sound strange that on our first serious conversation we were talking about our ex boyfriends. I sensed George needed to get it off his chest and realized I was as well. George at one point laid down and I naturally laid down as well, with my head on his shoulder and my hand on his chest. It was just a conversation laying on the bank of the river and I felt so happy. Each time we were just the two of us, I entered a state of serenity as if nothing in this world would ever be able to alter my state. Each time I wanted to be able to stop the time and let the feelings overwhelm me and I had no problems believing George when he told me exactly the same thing. Our hearts were beating in unison and we were indeed on the same wavelength. I lifted myself up on one elbow as to be able to look George in the face. His eyes were riveted on mine and we settled in a comfortable silence. His hand went surreptitiously to my neck and pulled me softly down till our lips met, soft pecks that soon turned into a open-mouth kiss with dancing tongues in the caverns of our hot mouths. It was soft, romantic and I would even say it was full of feelings. We already had kissed before, but this kiss was like a we were sealing a bond for life. It was the beginning of a mutual devotion to each other. To be continued... All positive comments welcome at amay1957@gmail.com