Date: Sun, 19 Jul 2020 08:17:05 +0100
From: Alain Mahy <amahy1957@gmail.com>
Subject: Solitude 4

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	To say the following two months were chaotic would be an
understatement.  A double visit to the notary to sign the deeds of selling
my house and buying the apartment were first on the list.  George put some
extra speed on the finishing of my apartment so that I could move in
quickly.  Deciding on light fixtures, curtains and colors on the walls was
fun, but the funniest part was going for furniture shopping with Veronica.
That lady knew how to turn a fastidious shopping in a happy and hilarious
event.  Contrary to my house I sold, I choose more modern furniture.  I was
not going for the minimalistic genre as I wanted my apartment to be cosy
and inviting, yet masculine.  I had taken some time off of work to be able
to have the move and installing myself properly.

	While I was off, I asked Aidan for a professional appointment.  I
wanted him to analyze my fear for the L word and advise me on how to not
jeopardize the building relationship I had with George.  As usual, he was
very patient in asking questions and answering mine, trying to reduce my
fears to a minimum to start with and hopefully taking them completely away.

	During the time before the move, I saw George almost every day,
being it at his office, at the piano bar or when he was free of work.  We
were both eager to get in bed together, but we didn't.  George said he was
a hundred percent sure about his feelings for me.  He just wanted me to be
sure as well and didn't hesitate to express a slight doubt.  He was partly
right in this sense that I was still a little scared about what could
happen if things were not working out as we wished.  I told him clearly I
couldn't face yet another fiasco.  From what we told each other, the risk
of a failure was almost non-existent.  I had called David my soulmate and
the only problem was that he was not really looking for a gay
relationship. So, it was soulmate with a downside.  I didn't know George
enough yet and there were still a lot of unbeknown things between us.  Up
till now, everything was more than all right and we knew perfection was not
part of this world.  A visit to Aidan was once more the solution to the
problem.

	The day of the definite move was coming very close.  All I took
with me from the house were my clothes, my music and books and a few
paintings.  All the rest was brand new and to be delivered, supposedly, the
same day.  Veronica was again a big help, together with David.  George was
in charge of the outside lift to bring in the furniture.  I was happily
surprised that at 5pm everything was tidy .  Each thing had its place and
each place had its thing.  I had never hoped to have such a cosy place from
the first day on, but I had.  Aidan had made some time to get to the
supermarket and have everything delivered.  The fridge and the pantry were
well stocked.

	Nobody was really in the mood to start cooking, so we called to
have some pizzas delivered.  Pizza with Champagne... nice combination,
isn't it?  The paintings were hanging on the wall.  The phone, TV and
Internet were connected.  The curtains were hanging in their respective
places and the bed had new linens on it.  It was almost too good to be
true.  George blent in perfectly with my friends and was part of the group
as if he had always been there.  When everybody had left, I stayed with
George on the terrace, finishing one of the bottles of bubbles.  It had
been a purposeful choice to move a day he didn't have to go to the piano
bar, so we had the evening all to ourselves.

	-Would you like to inaugurate the shower with me, I asked.

	George looked at me with a quizzical look.

	-Are you sure?

	-I am sure my Love.  The doubts you saw in me are gone, thanks to
Aidan who knows my "mental" history.  He made me see that I have to live,
even if it is with some fears.  Our lives are too short to waste time.  I
... (I hesitated for an instant)... I love you George.  I want to spend the
rest of my life with you or if you prefer: I don't want the rest of my life
without you.  You give me all I ever looked for and even more.

	I ended my little speech with a passionate kiss.  I put all my
feelings in that kiss and hoped from the bottom of my heart he would feel
them flow to him.  My kiss had been convincing as George got up, pulled me
from my seat by the hand and dragged me to the bathroom.  Even though he
had been waiting for this moments long enough, he undressed me teasingly
slow and I returned the favor.  We stepped in the huge shower stall and
first let the warm water cascade over us while we resumed passionate
kissing.  I had not had full hard-ons in a long time and was a bit scared
to disappoint George, but I shouldn't have been scared at all.  His touch
was electrifying and exciting me to the highest level.  We soaped each
other up after a long day of hard work.  George paid special attention to
my nether regions, washing my cock and balls without forgetting my ass.
His hands roamed so easily over my body and mine caressed him in the most
sensual way.  Our cocks were so hard it almost hurt.  I couldn't help to
think about the first lovemaking I had had with Frank and David.  In both
cases we were so excited that we came within the first five minutes and
then could enjoy a more profound lovemaking afterwards.  I had liked it
both times and was decided to do the same to George.  So, I dropped on my
knees and kissed the tip of his engorged cock.  I heard him breathing in
heavily and felt his hands on my shoulders.  I opened my mouth as wide as I
could to let him invade it to my throat.  It was warm and velvety soft but
still hard nonetheless.  I closed my lips around his shaft and pumped it.
Slowly at first but responding to my urges, I increased speed and his
breathing followed accordingly.  It didn't even take five minutes before I
felt his warm juices filling me mouth.  I tasted his sweet sour semen on my
tongue and swallowed part of it, keeping a good amount ready to share with
him in another passionate kiss.  I quickly stood up to kiss him and as soon
as I felt his hand on my manhood, I orgasmed with an uncommon force while
we shared his seed in our mouths.

	We broke the kiss and George pressed his furry chest against my
smooth one, apologizing profusely for not controlling his climax and
cumming so soon.  In between kisses I told him it was my purpose so that we
could have a longer and more intense lovemaking in bed.  I didn't have to
tell him twice.  He shut off the water and we dried each other before going
hand in hand to my king size bed where we fell on each other.

	The urgency of the first climax was over.  The physical lust was
climbing to new heights.  At last we would express our inner feelings in a
physical way, Describing a kiss is always difficult and this one was even
more so.  I felt something new in George's kissing, a new found feeling
that got from my head to my toes, moving my heart and my soul, triggering a
soft but intense waking-up of nerves and muscles.  My blood rushed through
my veins, creating mind-blowing sensations that were so new.  I was laying
on my back and George on top of me, pressing his body on mine, holding my
face in both his hands, kissing my lips, my nose, my eyelids.  He had
waited long enough to express the love he had for me and I couldn't be more
grateful.  I just hoped he could feel my inner feelings as well when I
returned his kisses and let my hands roam over his splendid body.  We
didn't rush anything, on the contrary, we took our time to discover the
other's body as if we were on a brand new journey to heaven.  We couldn't
get enough of each other and didn't hesitate to show it.  George kissed
every bit of skin he found and I realized I had far much erogenous zones
than what I thought.  Why on earth had I waited so long to convince myself
George was the one and only I wanted?  His lips were leaving a trail of
burning marks on me and when he reached my nipples I was ready to shoot a
load again.  I had to control myself and keep my juices in my balls a while
longer.  George travelled down on my body, licking out my bellybutton
before going down a little more and have his face pressed in my crotch.  I
could feel his hot breath in my pubes and he was impatient enough to
immediately open his mouth wide and engulf my cock to the root.  I was
gasping out loud and grabbed the sheets in my fists as if it helped
anything.  My whole body was convulsing under the touch of his mouth and
hands.  It was so hard to not climax there and then.  I tried to reach out
and touch him but he was down there with his head in my nether region.  The
only thing I could do was to try to grab his cock with my feet, but wasn't
really lucky with that either.

	George travelled down even more, kissing and licking my thighs, my
knees, my calves till he reached my feet.  He got on his knees, sitting on
his heels and lifted my feet in the air till they were in reach of his
mouth.  That was new for me when he licked them and one by one sucked on my
toes, slipping his tongue between them.  He was not giving me the royal
treatment, but a heavenly one, made by God and exerted by angels, loving
every part of my body.  It became too much for me and my juices were
boiling in my balls, readying themselves to spurt out of my cock.  George
felt my body spasm, looked at my cock and had an amazing look in the eyes
when he saw white ropes of semen leaving my piss-slit.  He turned around,
presenting his genitals over my face while he licked-up the trail of sperm,
licking every single drop and cleaning my body thoroughly with his tongue,
using all his skills on my cock to keep it hard.  Although I hadn't
recovered a normal breathing yet, I swallowed his cock till it got in my
throat.  George was well endowed and perfectly proportioned and I was
afraid my gag-reflex would kick-in.  It didn't... proving his cock was the
perfect size for me.  I swirled my tongue in all directions, making it slip
over his cock-head and giving him as much pleasure as he had given me and
was giving me again.  My hands were on his fuzzy ass, pulling on them as to
have his cock even deeper in my mouth, spreading his buttocks to tease his
puckered hole.  A loud gasp made me understand he loved his ass playing
with.  We were both sweating profusely and that helped our hands and
fingers to slip over our bodies.  My middle finger found his entrance and I
pushed in.  Another loud gasp could be heard although he still had my cock
in his mouth.  This was probably the best 69 I had ever had and God knows
that the ones I had experienced with Frank and David had been very
satisfactory.

	George's cock slipped out of my mouth and I stretched as much as I
could to have his balls in my mouth, munching on his taint and finally have
my tongue on his rosebud.  He moved a bit to make my attempt of eating out
his ass easier.  I didn't need a formal invitation!  George sat upright and
literally sat on my face.  I held his buttocks apart, pushing my tongue as
deep as it could reach, savoring his manly scent.  I couldn't get enough of
his ass and he was clearly enjoying what I did to him.  I suddenly felt
some spasm as his ass-muscles contracted and new he was climaxing.  It is a
wonderful feeling when you know what you are doing is getting the desired
effect.  I felt his juices spatter my pubes and belly, but it didn't make
me stop.  I just let my hand go over to his cock and pull every drop of
semen out of it.  George was a real sperm addict as he once again licked up
every drop and turned around, laying with his full weight on me and sharing
what was in his mouth with me.  I tasted the sweet difference between his
and my seed, loving every bit of it.  It was not that I tried to count the
number of times we climaxed, but even after we had both done it twice, our
cocks refused to deflate.

	I have to say that as far as I can remember, kissing keeps me going
and in that aspect I had found a perfect match.  We both loved to kiss and
our cocks were showing their appreciation.  That meant we were far from
finished.  George pinned my arms over my head with the result our armpits
came to view.  His sweaty scent overwhelmed me and I was like intoxicated
by it.  I wanted more and in a split second I learned that licking his
sweaty armpits was exciting me.  Healthy sweat when you just showered, was
as delicious as savoring his precum.  He smeared his sweat all over my face
and I desperately tried to get more of it.  I went for his other armpit and
gave it the same treatment.  George couldn't help it and went down on my
armpits as well and when they were both licked-out, he also licked my face
where he had smeared his sweat.  I thought things couldn't get any
better... I was wrong!  As he was laying on top of me, his cock found its
way between my legs.  I knew where it was going to and lifted my legs,
hooking my heels together on his lower back, giving him full access to
where his cock wanted to go.  It had been so long since anybody had entered
me that I was a bit scared of the excruciating pain the first penetration
would cause.  I shouldn't have worried as I already knew George was a very
considerate lover.  He didn't even had to use his hands to guide his
manhood to where it wanted to be.  With all the spit we had used and the
abundant sweating, all the areas of our bodies were slippery.  Don't ask me
how George did it, but I was feeling his hard cock-head on my rosebud.  I
relaxed my muscles the best I could and he must have felt it.  He
controlled his hips perfectly and softly began to push his hard tool in my
waiting hole, carefully pushing in and pulling out till me sphincter gave
away.  His cock-head slipped it.  As soon as he felt my muscles around his
cock, he stayed completely still, letting my ass getting used to his
rock-hard cock.

	I obliged myself to relax even more and took a few deep breaths
before my ass-muscles gave him the waited sign.  George entered me
teasingly slow till I felt his pubic hair tickle my buns.  He was
completely in me.  He lifted his head and looked me in the eyes, searching
for the signs that would tell him everything was ok.  Everything was more
than ok!  I let my heels drop down a little more till they rested on his
furry buttocks, giving them a few pushes and so telling George it was ok to
go on, which he did by first pulling out till only the cock-head was
trapped by my sphincter and then push back in.  I felt full, complete and
yes... loved!  While going in and out of me, he lowered his head and our
lips met once again.  There is something about kissing and being penetrated
at the same time that makes it all so special.  It was like being filled
with love from both ends.  I really felt I was giving myself to George a
hundred percent.  There were no restrictions nor limitations.  I belonged
to him.  Even though I had loved Frank and David very much, I knew George
was the love of my life.  Surreptitiously he increased the speed and the
strength of his thrusts in me while increasing the intensity of our kiss.
His chest was pressed to mine and I could feel our hearts were beating in
unison.  I was totally overwhelmed with love and physical sensations.  My
cock was trapped between our bellies and the friction caused a
supplementary feeling that made my head spin.  George increased his
movements even more and we both knew we were going to have orgasms that
would be memorable... and they were!  George had a last powerful thrust in
me, staying in the deepest of my ass while he emptied his balls while I
coated our bellies with my juice.  I had had my share of sex and
lovemaking, but this was far beyond anything I had ever experienced.  I
wrapped my arms around his neck and hooked my heels again on his lower
back, making him understand he was not to get out of me.  He didn't.  He
just stayed in me enjoying the afterglow of the most wonderful lovemaking
you could ever imagine.

	We stayed like that till we recovered our breaths and our normal
heartbeats, but that was not the main focus.  The main focus was that we
didn't want or could stop kissing.  Even if for the first time George's
manhood went flaccid, leaving my ass, and my semen was glueing us together,
our lips were on each other and our tongues went on dancing in each other's
mouths.  We slowly got back to a sense of normality and recovered our
abilities to speak.

	-Please, my Love, stay the night!

	-Try to get me out!

	We laughed.  Happiness was written all over our faces.  George
slipped off of my body and even if I wanted to just rest my head on his
chest and sleep like that, we had to be pragmatic.  It was imperative to
change the bed sheet as it was drenched in sweat.  It was necessary to
shower with all the dried cum that was sticking to our bodies.  All doors
and windows were open and the temperature was absolutely divine.  Before
laying down and have some sleep, George suggested to have a last drink on
the terrace.  What we didn't expect was that we would start to talk and
talk... and talk... till the first lights of a new day made their
appearance.  We talked about our pasts, but also about the present time.
We expressed our hopes and dreams and yes... we talked about our possible
future.  George was very confident about himself and it was contagious as
my self-esteem raised by the minute.  All the months and years of solitude,
all the hours in Aidan's practice had lead me to the point where we were:
on the terrace, with a glass of bubbles in our hands and the sun slowly
rising in the East.  All the misery and suffering had made me who I was and
made me appreciate even more what I had now : a wonderful man at my side,
someone I NEVER wanted to lose.  George had shown so much consideration
towards me, being kind, patient and respectful.  He had given me time to
overcome my past without pushing me or hurrying me.  He had shown ... LOVE,
without restrictions or limitations.  He had shown me the purest of
feelings, being my best friend while patiently waiting to become my best
lover.  Now that we had expressed our love in all possible ways, he
couldn't get enough and I was still in for a lot of surprises with him.  He
was always looking for ways to show me his love was sincere and deep, no
matter what people would or could say.  He made me feel as his absolute
number one and God knows he became my number one as well.  He was not
afraid to show his feelings or express them in a thousand different ways.

	We had spent such a wonderful evening and night and we had to
sleep, even if it was not a lot.  We got in bed and before we shut our eyes
he surprised me once again.

	-I know it is not for me to ask this Al, but I want to move in with
you.  There is no reason to live next door.

	I was suddenly wide awake again.  As I didn't respond immediately
he tried to say something but I put my finger on his lips, obliging him to
shut up.

	-You are welcome to put your clothes in my closet, sleep in my bed,
eat at my table and use my bathroom.  In a word, you are welcome into my
life.  Yes, please, move in.

	We shared a soft kiss, spooned and fell asleep.

	It is incredible how different it is to wake up next to someone you
love and just asked to move in.  It is different to wake up and share the
bathroom and preparing coffee for two instead of one.  It is so different
to wake up and kiss the one you love even before you rush to the bathroom
for you morning piss.  Yes, I had known part of those things with David,
but never forgot that he would leave me one day.  With George I had the gut
feeling it was going to be something permanent.  My intuition told me that
my solitude days were over for good.  He showed a real desire to be with me
as much as possible.  Despite the fact he knew my past and the dark periods
of time I had lived, he still wanted to be with me.  Despite the few tings
he had told me about his past, and even things he was not particularly
proud of, I loved him.  As I always said: the past is the past and nobody
can ever change anything about it.  We live today and have to take
advantage of what life offers to us.  It was for us to open our eyes and
wanting to see our opportunities.  We were realistic enough to know that
roses are not always red and violets are not always blue.  We had no reason
to be sad that roses had thorns.  We were happy that thorns had roses.

	George moved in the very next day.  I hadn't known it before, but
he was renting a small studio till all the apartments in the block would be
sold and he could collect his apartment.  That meant that there was not a
lot to move.  Our living room was really spacious and as George's birthday
was not far away, I ordered (as a surprise) a baby piano for him.  Playing
the piano was his passion.  With his job as salesman in real estate, he
didn't have to play at the piano bar.  He just wanted to do it because he
loved it so much.  His sales office had moved as all the apartments in our
building were sold.  It allowed me to have the baby piano delivered without
him knowing it and of course I did on his birthday, inviting a few of our
friends at a surprise party and make the day complete with happy events.

	When George saw the beautiful jet black shining piano, he had tears
in his eyes.  He went over to it, caressed it like it was the most valuable
thing he had ever had, opened the lit and filled the apartment with the
magic he could get out of the instrument.  We were all surrounding the
piano and listened in an almost religious silence.  He knew all my favorite
songs and played them till I had tears in my eyes as well.  I knew he was
playing for me although other people were in the room.

	What had I done to deserve such a man?  I must have done something
good I guess.  Since George moved in, I couldn't be happier.  I had a
purpose in my life: making my man happy and at first sight, he wanted to do
exactly the same.  I didn't know how he did it, but during the week-ends he
succeeded to get out of bed in the morning without waking me, putting the
coffee on and once it was ready, he would sit at the piano and play one or
the other song to wake me up.  It was so endearing.  I would get up and
stand behind him, wrapping my arms around him and kiss him in his neck till
he finished the song or the musical piece he was playing.  We were happy
the contractor had used sound proof materials so to not disturb the
neighbors.  At Christmas we put a tree on the piano.  It was fascinating to
see all the Christmas decoration slightly move with the vibrations of the
piano.

	Everything was almost too good to be true and when I mentioned it
to Aidan, he almost got mad with me.  He insisted once and again the law of
attraction, saying I couldn't have such thoughts.  I had to enjoy what life
had brought to me.  In his opinion NOTHING was too good.  I heard that
speech a thousand times.  He took the initiative to talk to George and warn
him to not let me go to the black side of my mind.  George loved me enough
to be sure that wouldn't happen.  It was not that he would cover me with
presents or anything like that.  It was his daily way of acting that
brought so much joy to my life.  For example, George was not really a good
cook, but he would spend hours in the kitchen to prepare something I liked.
I appreciated his efforts and would return the favor in any way possible.

	George had sometimes convention he had to attend, but he was never
away longer than 24 hours.  I so felt the loneliness creep back in my life
when I had to sleep alone, although he always called me around the time I
was supposed to go to bed, telling me his day and how boring some of the
conventions were.  Most of the times, these conventions were about the
legal stuff related to real estate: new laws and new rules.  At one of
these conventions, that was not that far away, I decided to surprise him in
his hotel room.  I made all the necessary arrangements to drive over and
find my man, for once, outside our apartment.  I had bought some sexy
underwear and hadn't had the opportunity to show it off to him.  I had the
name of the hotel and while driving my car, my excitement grew with each
minute I was at the wheel.

	Finding the hotel was easy.  I asked at the reception which room
George was in, but their privacy policy didn't allow them to tell me who
was or wasn't in their hotel.  I asked them if they could at least warn
George I was at the reception, telling them we were a couple and that I
knew he had made reservation for the convention.  The receptionist looked
puzzled and said there was no convention of any kind, neither in town nor
in the hotel.  I was confused.  Having traveled all the way, the only
option I had, was to call him, but... he didn't pick-up his phone.  I
entered in panic mode.  All the worst scenarios came to my mind.  Had he
suffered an accident?  Had I misunderstood the place of the convention?
And, of course, did he have an affair with someone else...  I started to
hyperventilate and entering a pure panic attack.  The guy at the reception
desk saw it and called for help as he didn't have a clue as what to do.  I
felt my legs getting weak, fell to the floor and everything got black in
front of my eyes.

	When I came back to my senses and opened my eyes, I didn't know
where I was, I didn't recognize the place.  Two men I had never seen before
in my life were bent over me.  My shirt was open and I felt a burning pain
in my wrist.  Looking down on it I saw there was an IV needle in it and a
liquid that slowly dropped in a tube and in my veins.  They were calling me
by my name which meant they had to know me, but I couldn't recall them.
Bit by bit my brains started to work again, remembering I must have
fainted.  It downed on me that the two strangers had to be medics.  I was
laying on a kind of table, but didn't know where.  I remembered that the
first thing I said, was George's name.  I asked the medics where George
was, but no-one knew the answer.  They said they were taking me to the
hospital but I vehemently refused.  I was obsessed with George's absence.
My worry turned to anger.  I couldn't believe that he could have an affair.
If he had had an accident, they would have found his mobile phone and
called me as we both had put the other's name as ICE (=In Case of
Emergency).  I didn't want to go to the hospital.  I wanted to go back home
and see what kind of explanation George had.  My God!  We were living
together for almost a year now and in a blink of an eye, all the things I
had taken for granted were shattered to pieces.  Yes, I already saw myself
falling back in that horrible solitude I had hated my whole life.

	I wanted to sit up, but the medics put their hands on my chest to
prevent me from doing so.  They urged me to calm down and asked me a
thousand questions about my health.  I was already tired of them and took
out my phone and called Aidan, giving them my phone before Aidan even
answered.  Aidan was probably the one who knew me best and could answer all
their questions.  When they were finished, they handed me my phone back,
saying Aidan wanted to talk to me.  I dreaded all the questions he would
have for me, but dreaded even more the fact I would probably not be able to
answer them.  I gave him a short version of the facts.  His only answer was
a loud sigh and then said he would get back to me before hanging up.

	The medics insisted again to take me to hospital for further tests
but stubborn old me refused even more.  They made me sign a paper
confirming I didn't want any help and left.  The only person left in the
room was the hotel manager who asked me George's full name, ready to break
his own privacy rule and check his customer's list.  There was no trace of
George.  I tried to call him again, but with the same result: no answer.  I
had no other choice than to apologize to the hotel manager for the trouble
I caused, get in my car and drive back home.  It was probably not really
wise to sit behind the wheel but I had to get back.  The two hour drive
back home, I had far too much time to think, to search for a logical
explanation.  George was the guy that checked his cellphone quite often
during the day and he must have seen my missed calls.  Aidan hadn't called
back either by the way.  All that thinking by myself was not really good
for me and I knew it.  I was imagining things as I had no facts to rely on.
The only fact was that George said that he was going to a convention and
that was a lie.  I had no idea why he had lied.  It was a stupid thing to
do.  He knew that I hated lies as I had been lied to far too much in my
life.

	I reached our apartment and parked the car in the basement and went
up.  I dreaded getting into an empty apartment.  For the very first time in
almost aa year, I felt so alone.  I watched my phone just to see my battery
had gone dead.  I put it on charge and switched it back on after about five
minutes.  I had one lost call from Aidan.  He had phoned back after all.  I
called him back but he had nothing new to tell me.  He was so angry that I
had been driving in my state.  I was not ready to listen to his harsh words
and told him so.  We hung up quite abruptly.  It was already past bedtime
for me and still no call from George.  In such a situation I go through
different phases from being worried, incredulous, doubtful to indifferent,
angry and even aggressive and rejecting any excuse.  I was going through
all the phases available!  I went to bed, perfectly knowing I wouldn't
sleep, even after taking two sleeping tablets.

	In the morning I looked at my face in the mirror and called my work
to say I was sick.  There was no way I would go out with a face like that.
I called George's number again.  A joyful George answered me.

	-Hello Babe... how are you this morning?

	It was obvious he hadn't a clue about what happened yesterday or
the worst night I had stayed awake and worried sick.  He probably didn't
even check his phone and didn't see the numerous missed calls.  I was happy
he was all right, but at the same time so angry, confused and wanting to
kill him.

	-Where are you and please don't lie to me.

	There was a suspicious silence at the other side of the line.  My
tone of voice was betraying me.  I wasn't answering him and asked him not
to lie what indicated there was something wrong.

	-What's the matter Babe?

	He was clearly avoiding to answer me or hiding something, answering
my question with another question.  I tried to stay calm as much as
possible, but my blood was boiling in my veins.

	-You don't answer my question George.  Where are you?

	-I am at the convention ...

	-STOP, I shouted.  There is no convention!  And in the hotel you
supposedly had a reservation, they don't know you.

	-Listen Al, I will be home in two hours and I will answer all your
question in total honesty.  I know I should have given you the answers
before you even had to ask me, but please, not over the phone.  I want us
to sit face to face.

	-Ok

	And I hung up on him.  I was fuming.  There was something and
George realized I knew at least part of it.  He had heard I was not happy
at all and I had never hung up on him.  That must have given him a clue
about how I felt.  I had to calm down, urgently.  I had to be calm enough
to let him at least explain himself even if for the moment I didn't
understand what had made him lie to me.  A lie that shattered the trust I
had in him.  One lie (or more) that made me question everything he ever
told to me.  I had two hours to busy myself with whatever as to not get
crazy and do things I would regret later.  How could I be sure he was going
to answer all my question in what he called "total honesty" ?  He had
already lied and that meant he could do it again.

	I started to tidy up the apartment and clean every single corner of
it as if I wanted to wash away any memory I had in this place.  By the time
he came through the door the place was spic and span, I had showered and
dressed with the tightest jeans I had and that I knew he had problems
opening.  I had the strong suspicion he would try to erase whatever it was
by making love to me and that was the last thing I would allow.

	He came through the door and grabbed me.  His strong arms were
around me and there was no way I could escape his grip.  I tried with all
my strength to get out of his arms, but I couldn't.  I was fighting him
like I had never done with anyone in my life.  He didn't move and didn't
let me go.  I was soon enough exhausted and dropped my arms alongside my
body, breaking down completely and I started to cry.  George kept one arm
around my waist so I couldn't escape and his other hand came to my neck,
caressing me softly, trying to calm me down.  I did calm down, but it was
in defeat.  He kissed my cheeks and went for my lips, but with the last of
my energy I turned my head so that he couldn't kiss me there.  As his grip
had lost a bit of its strength, I escaped from his embrace.  He was
standing there, as calm as usual as if there was nothing going on.  The
calmer he was, the more angry I got.  When he asked me if there was coffee
I thought I would kill him there and then.  He must have seen the killer
look I had in my eyes as he went to the kitchen without asking anything
more.  I couldn't stand his calmness and silence.  I sat down on the sofa
and when George came back from the kitchen, he sat down next to me, putting
his mug down on the coffee table and looking me straight in the eyes.

	-I am so sorry Al.  It was bound to happen ...

	-What was bound to happen?  That I would discover you are lying to
me?  Was it bound that the trust we HAD (insisting on the past tense) would
be shattered to pieces?  Well, you win the grand prize as you succeeded
fantastically, with flying colors.

	George stayed as calm as a motionless statue, looking me in the
eyes with a little smile on his face, so self-assured that he was going to
win this battle.  God knows he was in for a serious mental fight and that I
would not surrender that easily.  He grabbed my hand and held it in his
firm and forceful grip, knowing I would try to get my hand back.  In
physical battle, he would always win as he was much stronger than I was.
The soft look he had in his eyes turned to a hard one.  The soft grayish
tones became almost black.  It frightened me to the point I didn't fight
back anymore.  When he saw that after all I surrendered to his fierce look,
his eyes became softer again.

	-Please Al, calm down and let me tell you what happened, not only
this time but each time I had to go out of town.  I was sworn to secrecy,
not allowed to talk about what I am about to tell you, to any one.  I will
tell you now just because I don't want to lose you.  I had just hoped I
would never have to break my promise to keep it all to myself, but today I
really have no choice anymore.  You are too precious to me and I couldn't
live without you.  My love for you is stronger than any promise I made
outside this apartment and please try to understand that my silence was
ONLY to protect you and that my "escapades" were doing that as well:
protect you.

	His words had the calming effect on me that he probably expected.

	-My name was not always George and I was not always a real estate
agent or pianist.  For years and years I was working for the Special Forces
and with time my speciality became undercover jobs.  Even if I say so
myself, I was damned good at it.  Thanks to my work, our unit could
dismantle more than one criminal organization, but with time I started to
be to well known.  It came to the point that I was becoming the target of
those organizations and had to disappear. They moved me all over the
country but the criminals always had a way to find me.  My life was
constantly in danger.  I had more different identities than all the spies
in the world together, but still, it was not enough.  With my history of
successes and the quantity of guys I got behind bars, the Special Forces
decided to do something drastic as there was no way I could have a safe
life.  During one of the operations of our unit, they organized my death...
I almost wished I was really dead, because that's when the surgeries
started.  I had a complete restructuring of my face.  I was months in a row
in hospital and started to know the surgery theatre better than the surgeon
himself.  I lost count of the times I spent there.  Meanwhile, I had had
the most beautiful and endearing funeral.  My family (yes, I have a family)
and my colleagues were all there and I received the most wonderful speech
anybody could hope for.  The funeral reached the papers on purpose.  Don't
ask who was in the coffin as nobody really knows.  I am one of the very few
on this earth who assisted (remotely) his own funeral.  It hurt so much to
see my sister cry and my two nephews were unconsolable.  My brother stayed
emotionless as the good soldier he is...

	George seemed to gather his thoughts before continuing.

	-I was half drugged when I saw my funeral on video.  I cried as
much as they did, because in a way I lost them as well.  Nobody, and I
insist on NOBODY, can know I am still alive.  In any case, even if I met
them on the street, they would not recognize me.  They are all living at
the other side of the country anyway.  To recover from all the surgeries,
it took me months.  When I was finally released, I got another name,
another birthday, another passport and a bunch of fake memories I had to
learn by heart.  I hadn't been outside the hospital in months and I could
enjoy the simple fact of breathing fresh air.  I got an early retirement
and landed here, in this town.  All the rest you know because I met you in
the third month of being here.  I easily found the job at the real estate
agency and at the piano bar.  You now maybe understand why I negotiated the
apartment next door instead of a commission in cash.  Now, about the
conventions you have to know, and apparently you do, there are no
conventions.  I am still on medical control on a regular basis.  The
conventions were invented for me to go to the doctor and have my two
monthly tests.  That will end very soon I hope.  As you are not supposed to
know my past, I couldn't tell you there are no conventions.  If my
superiors, although I am retired, would know I told you, I would be
immediately transferred to another place with yet again another identity.
You have to know I trust you enough to not tell ANYBODY about this Al.  Our
future together depends on it.

	I had to believe him.  I had no choice.  He gave me too much
details and even showed me a few pictures he had smuggled through the very
strict controls.  Of course I didn't recognize him on the pictures he
showed me, but there was one thing that had not changed and that were his
eyes.  I could have recognized his look anywhere.  It was my turn to tell
him my previous day and George became so emotional when learning I wanted
to surprise him with my visit.  He was genuinely worried when he heard
about my health condition and just like Aidan, he got mad at me to have
driven two hours after what happened.  It was important to create a story
for Aidan as he was an involuntary witness of the whole thing.  An
overbooking in the hotel and a flat battery with no charger would have to
be enough.


To be continued...

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