Date: Wed, 29 Sep 1999 13:20:10 -0700 (PDT) From: Orrin Rush Subject: Lifeguard, Part 5 Disclaimer: The folling story is a work of fiction. If you are offended by descriptions of homosexual acts or man/man relations, please exit this page. THE LIFEGUARD Copyright c 1999 by Orrin C. Rush. All rights reserved. Neither this story nor any parts of it may be distributed electronically or in any other manner without the express, written consent of the author. All rights are retained. Part 5 TRAUMA "Is he OK?" I asked. "I don't know, they're taking him to Cedars Hospital." I'm on my way," I told him. "I'll meet you there." Surprise, fear, dread, and panic overtook me as I ran out of my office. I didn't stop to say anything to anybody, just ran headlong for the elevator. The hospital was only about two miles away, but I think I hit every red light that there was. It seemed to take forever. >From the information desk, I learned that he was already in Intensive Care. That's when I got another taste of the archaic laws that are so strictly enforced by small people in positions of power. "Are you next of kin?" the guardian to the ICU asked. "No," I answered, truthfully, in the legal sense. "Are you related?" she continued, acting like she really didn't care one way or the other, I just wasn't going to get past her. Realizing this, I turned to leave and find a higher authority. I ran right into Eric's dad. "They won't let me in," I told him. "Hold on, I'll take care of it," he said. He turned to the grinning bitch who had her meaty arms crossed, and looked like she could stop a truck if it tried to get through her. "I'm Eric Lundborg's father, and this gentleman and I are going in to see him." He held up his hand as she started to bluster. "I'm also an attorney, and you had better be aware that to keep us out could put you in a lot of hot water. Here's my ID, now let us in." She glanced at his driver's license, then, moaning that she was breaking rules, opened the door. She called a nurse who led us around the darkened room to a cubicle. The bed was surrounded by people when we got there. We pushed through them to get to the edge of the bed and Eric. It's hard to describe his face. He didn't show pain, he didn't show anger, or look peaceful. He just looked blah, no expression at all. I didn't know what to think. His eyes were closed, and the rest of his face was totally expressionless. His left shoulder looked like hamburger. I cringed, feeling his pain. "I'm Dr. Peterson," an older, intelligent looking man said. "He just got in, and we're checking him out a little before sending him over for tests. In fact, we're ready to move him now." The crew gently moved us out of the way as they moved the bed out of the cubicle. A couple followed, guiding the rolling equipment that was already attached to Eric. "I'm Eric's father, Karl Lundborg, and this is Dave Rush, his partner, Dr. Peterson." He shook hands with us, then said, "I can't tell you much at this point. We'll know a lot more after he has a catscan, MRI and a lot of other tests that I've ordered. It'll be a couple of hours before we know much. But, I can tell you, his shoulder wound is superficial, and there isn't any evidence of any other injuries." "I know how difficult waiting is," he continued, "but I promise I'll you know anything as soon as I do." "Is Dr. Lee in?" I asked. "I saw him a while ago, I think so. Would you like to use this phone, Mr. Rush, the operator can locate him for you," Dr. Peterson said. I was trying to be calm, but I wanted to scream at the operator. It took her an eternity to find him. When I finally got to talk to him, he agreed to see us immediately in his office. "Who's Dr. Lee?" Karl asked as he followed me out. "He's the chief administrator of the hospital," I told him. Dr. Lee greeted us warmly. "What can I do for you Dave?" "A little while ago, Eric Lundborg was brought in. This is his father Karl," I said, and they shook hands. "Eric is my lover, and we want you to see that he has the very best care that's available. There are to be absolutely no limitations." I continued. "Only the best, don't spare anything!" "Give me a minute," he said, reaching for the phone and gesturing us to chairs. He made several calls, asking a few blunt questions, but mostly listening. Putting down the phone, he turned to us and said "Luckily, Dr. Peterson was there for the initial examination. He's probably the most highly respected Neurologist on the West Coast." "He's ordered a lot of tests, mostly to find out why Eric is unconscious but doesn't have any obvious trauma. That's our first concern, and as soon as the tests have been read, they will call us here with the results." "Now, if you'll excuse me for a few minutes, I want to check on a few things. Make yourselves at home, and help yourselves to the phone." he said. "I've gotta call Momma," Karl said. While he called, I tried to think. It was all like a dream. A bad dream that I didn't seem to be waking up from. I was scared. Scared shitless. The focus of my life was hurt and I was helpless to do anything to help him. I forced myself not to project beyond the Doctor's prognosis, which I knew would be positive. Eric would be ok. I had to believe that. It may have looked like I was under control, but, inside, my stomach was churning so wildly that I almost felt like heaving. Tears were trying to form but I fought them back. It was my turn to use the phone. Eric's mother was on her way. I called the office, home, and got Annie on her cell phone. As I put down the phone, I realized how few mutual friends or acquaintences that Eric and I had. We had been almost reclusive since we'd met. Ron and Jason were the only people we'd spent any time with. We'd have to change that. "You really get results," Karl said, "I'm impressed." "I'm a soft touch when their fund raisers come around," I told him. "This is a helluva way to call in markers, though." Dr Lee returned. "Wanted to give you a progress report," he said. "Eric is still undergoing tests, and Dr. Peterson is interviewing the Officer who was at the scene and the ambulance attendants to get any information he can. I want you to know that we're doing everything that we can." Both Karl and I gave him our thanks. "It shouldn't be more than another half hour before we know a lot more," Dr. Lee told us. We waited, not very patiently. Karl was pacing and I made small talk with Dr. Lee. Eric's mother arrived and was briefed on what little we knew. She seemed to be the strong one in the family, but wasn't pushy. Her hugs and reassurance did wonders for me. Finally, Dr. Peterson came in. He perched on the corner of Dr. Lee's desk. "First, I'm going to tell you what we DO know," he started. "I'll tr to put this all in layman terms. From what we can learn, Eric's Jeep was hit a glancing blow on the passenger side that caused the Jeep to roll one full turn, ending up upright. Along the way, Eric's shoulder must have hit the pavement. Somewhere along the line, his head struck something, we're not sure what, yet, but that's what has caused his unconsciousness." "The cat scans and other tests haven't shown any brain injury, but we can't see bruises. These could exist, and his brain may have shut down to a degree, trying to heal itself. None of us fully understand how the brain functions under these circumstances, but I can say that it has an amazing capacity to heal itself." "To be absolutely sure that none of us here missed anything, the test data is right now being transmitted to my colleagues at Stanford and Johns Hopkins." "We didn't find any internal injuries, and his shoulder looks a lot worse than it actually is, and is being taken care of right now." Eric's mother, being a doctor herself, had a few questions, most of which were too technical for me to understand. After Dr. Peterson left, she turned to me and said, "All we can do is wait and hope. I want to see him." Eric looked the same as when we had seen him earlier. His mother looked him over with a professional eye and commented "I just can't figure out why he's still unconscious. There has to be something they haven't found yet. I've heard about Dr. Peterson, and he's good, very good. Whatever it is, he'll find it." While we were talking, a nurse came in every few minutes to check all of the monitors that Eric was hooked up to. "I need a cigarette real bad," Karl said. "Would you like to join me, Dave?" "Sure," I said, realizing that he wanted some company. When we were out of Eric's cubicle, Karl turned to me and said "Just leave Momma alone for a few minutes, and she'll know more about what's going on than the doctors." Outside where Karl could smoke, we talked about Eric, and how our feelings of helplessness were so frustrating. "I feel certain he'll pull through this OK," Karl said. "He has a lo going for him, young, strong, and a lot to live for." "Noone is hoping for that more than I am," I told him. After giving "momma" ample opportunity to learn what she could, we returned to the ICU. Her eyes were twinkling a little, which was very encouraging to me, at least. "Well, here's what's going on," she said. "Thanks to Dave's influence, word has come down from 'on high' that everyone around here is to be more than 'on their toes'. Dr. Peterson isn't just on call, but will be staying here at the hospital for the next 24 hours at least. That's the critical period. They're monitoring everything that they can. My God, it looks like Mission Control in here." We all chuckled a little, then she continued "By watching him closely, they can see any changes that might give a clue to why he's still unconscious. I'm confident they'll find the problem and take care of it when they do." "In the meantime, there isn't anything we can do, and I've given all the nurses my cell phone number, and they WILL call me if there is any change." We talked for a while longer, then they left. I had no intention of going anywhere. They would have to throw me out bodily. A nurse brought me a chair, and I sat by his bedside, holding his hand. By now, another male nurse had brought in an easel and stool so that he could watch all the monitors. He was friendly, and we chatted idly. "How long have you guys been together?" he asked. I was kind of surprised at his question, but I guess that word got around fast. No matter, I didn't care who knew about our relationship. "Not long enough," I said, "only a few months. A hundred years wouldn't be long enough." "He'll make it," he said. "I'm gay too, so he'll get my special attention. He's lucky to have you and all you're doing." "I just wish that there was more that I could do," I said. Every hour or so, another nurse relieved him for 15 minutes or so. After returning from his break, he told me "Since they only let immediate family in here, there are some people out in the waiting room to see you. Why don't you take a break. I'll watch over him while you're gone." "Thanks," I said, "I'll do that." When I opened the door, Annie had me in a bearhug. "Is he OK?" she asked, "I'm so sorry." Ron and Jason were there, and came over to give me hugs as soon as Annie released me. "He's going to be OK," I told them, thoroughly convinced that I was telling the truth. "They haven't found the cause of Eric's unconsciousness, yet, but they will." They gave me their assurances that I would be proven right, and told me they were available to do anything they could for Eric, or for me. As they were leaving, a tall, tanned guy walked up to me. "I couldn't help overhear Eric's name," he said. "I'm Jim Wilson, Chief of Lifeguards. How's he doing?" "As well as can be expected, I guess," I said. "He's still unconscious, and they don't know why. I'm Dave Rush, by the way." "Then you must be..." he didn't finish. I just nodded. "Can we go someplace and talk?" he asked. "I need to talk to you." He seemed very sincere, not the least bit hostile, and Jason and Ron were hovering, so I felt safe. I suggested that we go to the cafeteria. I was also hungry. Ron and Jason followed. After picking up trays of nondescript food, we sat across from each other. Ron and Jason followed, sitting across the room. "Are you Eric's lover?" he asked. I nodded. "Eric's one of my pets," he began. "I've watched him develop over the years, and he's one of the best men I've got. He's a hard worker and dedicated to his work. Always has a cheerful smile and a smartass remark for me. I've grown to love that boy." "Over the past couple of months, I've noticed a big change," he continued. "He seemed more confident, happier, like he'd found whatever it was that he was looking for. Eric's a very private person, and I didn't want to be nosy, but I couldn't help but ask him if he had a girlfriend. His 'no way' answer told me a lot. I'd always wondered if he might be gay, but the way he handled both the guys and gals that came on to him didn't say much." "I've also noticed that he doesn't stick around after work like he used to. He couldn't wait to get wherever he was going. I know he goes to school, but this was different. I don't know why, but I just sensed that Eric had a boyfriend, and when you mentioned Eric's name in the waiting room, I knew it had to be you." "I don't know what to say..." I stammered. He didn't stop. "If you're the reason why Eric's happy, then I'm behind you both. I'm not gay, and I don't care if you guys are, whatever makes Eric so happy, makes me happy too, and I still love him like a little brother." "While I was talking," he continued, "I realized 'who' you are, and I know that everything that can be done is being done. He's in your care, and I trust you even though I don't know you, but please keep me informed on how he's doing." He gave me his card and we went out. In the hallway, he gave me a self-conscious hug and said "give that to Eric when he wakes up, from me." "I will," I promised. Jason and Ron joined me down the hallway. "What was that all about? You seemed kinda nervous, so we stuck around," Ron said. "That was Eric's boss. He wanted to tell me that he approves of 'us' and that he loves Eric as much as I do, but in a different way," I explained. "He's really a nice guy, but thanks anyway, guys." There was no change. I resumed my position by the bed and took Eric's hand in mine. "You know you're not supposed to be here," the nurse said. "I kind of assumed that," I said. "Nobody around here has the balls to tell you, though," he said, laughing. "Am I doing anything that could hurt Eric, or am I in the way?" I asked. "No." "Then, what's the big deal?" I asked. "Just thought I'd mention it. Personally, I think it's neat that the first 'civilian' to ever spend the whole night in ICU is gay and with his lover." We talked in spurts, with long pauses in between. After several hours, I must have dozed off. A hand on my shoulder attached to Dr. Peterson was gently shaking me. "We're noticing some changes that may be trying to tell us something," he said. I woke up fast, and noticed that Eric's hand was still in mine. "I'm having him taken over for some more testing. " he said. "Any indication of what it may mean?" I asked. "Can't tell yet, but we'll know soon," he said, disengaging my hand from Eric's, and followed the crew who was moving the bed out of the cubicle. A nurse who I hadn't seen before came over. "I'm David's replacement," she said. "I've already called Eric's mom, and they're on their way here. You can stay here, or we have a small private lounge that you're welcome to use." "Think I'll try the lounge," I said. "Thanks for the offer. But, promise that you'll come get me the minute that Eric gets back." "You have my promise," she said. "When Eric's parents get here, I'll have them brought to the lounge too." I looked at my watch. It was ten minutes after midnight. Waiting has never been one of my strong points. Uncertainty was not a favorite either. For the last 14 hours I had been doing nothing but waiting and wondering, and hoping. My whole life was rolling around someplace on a portable bed, being subjected to God only knows what, and I was powerless to do anything. I'm not a control freak, but the feeling of total helplessness that had suddenly overcome me was too much. I couldn't help it, the tears welled up and I didn't fight them. It ha suddenly become more than I could handle. The Lundborgs found me that way. Sobbing unashamedly. "Any news?" Karl asked. "None yet," I sobbed. "That's what finally got to me." Eric's mother sat next to me, not trying to comfort me, but giving her tacit approval of my expressing the fears, anger and frustrations that had built up over the long day. I was pulling myself together a little when Dr. Peterson came in. He looked serious, but I could detect a little relief on his face. "I think we've found the problem," he said. "It's a subdural hematoma that didn't show up on the first tests. When his temperature started rising and his blood pressure dropped, we knew that something was happening." Looking at me and switching to layman terms for my benefit, he continued. "It's a buildup of fluid inside the skull lining that's putting pressure on Eric's brain, probably causing his unconsciousness. We need to relieve that pressure as soon as we can, and will do that by drilling a hole about the size of a large syrringe through his skull to drain it. We're prepping him for surgery right now, and as soon as I receive confirmation and concurrence from my colleagues, I'd like to operate." He looked at each of us in turn. Eric's mother was nodding and Karl looked confused. "What are the risks?" I asked. "The biggest risk, right now, is doing nothing. I strongly recommend that we go ahead." Dr. Peterson said. We each nodded our approval. "He should be back in ICU in about 3 hours," he said as he was leaving. More waiting. A dismal prospect. "At least we know something, now," Eric's mother said. "It makes sense to me. It's a logical explanation for everything." Fearfully, I asked her "What's the prognosis?" "After the operation, they'll monitor him very closely for a while. When they're sure that he's stabilized, they'll bring him back to ICU. It'll take several hours for the surgical anesthetic to wear off, and then, hopefully, he'll regain consciousness. It might take a day or so for any brain damage to show up, but we can hope that there won't be any. He's not 'out of the woods' by any means," she said. More hoping and praying, and still, a lot of fear. "Let's get some coffee," Karl said, "It's going to be a long night." In the cafeteria, with coffee in hand, I think we were all a little relieved. Something was happening, progress, we hoped. We started talking, about Eric, of course. They told me all sorts of stories and anecdotes about him that I'm sure would have embarassed him if he were there. It gave me a picture of another side of Eric that I didn't know, and some insight on his relationship with his parents, and insight on them as well. They sounded like a very happy, functional (as opposed to the usual dysfunctional) family. Upper middle class life in the suburbs with two sons. This was the first I'd heard of a brother. I was kin of surprised until they told me more about Ryan. They described him as a total free spirit who lived in the northern part of the stat He'd been notified about Eric's accident, and was on his way. More stories about Ryan and Eric actually lightened our moods, and we occasionally even laughed at the antics they described. We all knew that we were escaping for a few minutes, trying to make the time pass, but that our real thoughts were on Eric. Dr. Peterson came in, still wearing scrubs. "The procedure went well," he announced. "He's stabilized and he'll be back in ICU in a little while." After a few questions from Eric's mom, she turned to Karl and me and said "I feel much better already." We headed back to the ICU to wait for him. The bed and all the paraphernalia were rolled in. The crew quickly and efficiently re-connected all the monitors. Eric looked different. More relaxed, serene, as if a burden had been lifted. I drug a chair over and assumed my position beside him, gently holding his hand. There were even more needles in his arm and added electrodes. "How long?" I asked, directing my question to noone in particular. "Hard to tell," one of the nurses said. "I see his brain wave activity is picking up, so it could be soon." Hopefully this would be the final wait. I tried to calm my fears and think positive thoughts, envisioning him as the vital, active, virile man that he was. It was really embarassing to realize that these thoughts were arousing me. I tried to change my train of thought, to think about the future and the things we would do together. It worked, I felt better than I had in the last 24 hours. Without any warning, I felt a squeeze from the hand I held, then "Son-of-a-bitch, my head hurts," Eric clearly said. We all jumped. His mother ran to the other side of the bed and took his hand. "Where am I?" he asked. His mother explained how he had been in an accident, and gave a brief description of what had happened. "I can't see too good," he said. "That'll clear up in a few hours," his mother reassured him. "I can't see you, but I know who this is," he said, squeezing my hand almost painfully. "How ya doin, babe?" "Much better, now," I told him, letting go with a huge sigh of relief but not letting go of his hand. Dr. Peterson came in and introduced himself to Eric. He too reassured him about the fuzzy vision, then asked him to move his arms and legs and to wiggle his torso, gently. His body responded, and the sighs of relief were audible. Dr. Peterson turned to us. "This boy needs some rest, and so do you," he said looking directly at me. "We'll take good care of him and you can come back in a few hours. I'm going to give him something for the pain, and he'll sleep at least 5 or 6 hours. Come back then. He'll feel better and so will you. Now, get!" "OK, OK," I said, not really wanting to leave. I bent over and gave Eric a soft kiss and turned to leave, giving his parents a moment with him before they too would get run out. Annie was waiting for me in the waiting room. "I bribed a nurse," she said. "She's been calling me every half hour with a progress report, and when she told me that Eric might wake up any time, I came over. You look like hell!" "I need a little sleep," I admitted. She put her arm around me and led me out. In the car, she said "I already know that Eric regained consciousness, and that there doesn't appear to be any serious damage, but how are YOU doing?" "I'm totally drained. Physically, mentally and emotionally, but I'll be OK now that Eric is doing so much better." "I know you've been through hell, and I've been thinking about both of you every minute," she said. "At first, I was a little jeal of Eric, but now, I kind of like having him around. He's so good for you." "Thanks, brat," I said. After both Annie and Mary promised to wake me in four hours, I set the alarm anyway, and literally passed out. Annie woke me gently. I was totally disoriented. Had all of this been a bad dream? The first thing I did was call the hospital, talking to Annie's bribed nurse. Eric was doing fine, but was scheduled for another round of catscans and MRI's, so she told me to take my time getting there. When I got back to the hospital, Eric's parents were already there. The wave of resentment that swept over me didn't last. I wanted him to myself, but knew they loved him too. I'd share him, but grudgingly. Eric was groggy from the pain medication, but he responded to the hugs and kisses I gave him, and held my hand with a firm grip. I felt reassured that he would be OK. Dr. Peterson came in. "I know you all love Eric and want to be with him," he said, "but, he needs rest, so I'm going to ask you to only stay another ten minutes. He's doing fine, and you can come back in the morning." "What time, Doctor?" I asked. "Don't come before ten. He needs rest and we'll be running more tests in the morning." I hugged him again, this time saying "That's from me, and that's from Jim," as I squeezed him. Dinner was waiting when I got home. Annie's intelligence network was working well. After eating, I went straight to bed. "Hiya Babe," was the greeting I got from a smiling Eric when I went into his cubicle the next morning. His eyes were sparkling and most of the tubes and wiring were gone. I leaned to kiss him and his arms went around me. When we broke for air, the nurse on duty, a new one, had a totally shocked look on her face. "That's the way it is," Eric told her. "This is my man." "Such a waste," she muttered. We grinned at her, knowing better. Eric gave me an update on his condition. He was improving so fast that they had been able to disconnect most of the monitors, and his vision was clearing up rapidly. If he continued at his present rate, he would be moving to a regular room by the next day. Wonderful news that made me ecstatic. "I feel pretty damned good, considering," he said. "But, I've never felt so tired in my life." His parents came and went, and when he started dozing, I took my cue and left too. Let him rest. That evening, he was even more chipper. We talked and laughed for a while, then I noticed him fading. Time to let him rest some more. He was still a long way from total recovery. It was a lonely evening for me. Until this happened, Eric and I had been together every night since my trip to Washington. The realization of just how much he meant to me was overwhelming, but knowing he'd be back at my side soon made it tolerable. His improvement the next day was even more dramatic. He looked and acted like this whole thing had never happened. As predicted, he was in a regular hospital room when I arrived. "Sunlight at last!" he said after I kissed him. "And I can have visitors now too. But you're the only one I really want," he quickly added. Flowers and potted plants started arriving, and before long his room was overflowing. His first "outside" visitor was Jim Wilson. After giving Eric a playful jab on his good shoulder, he turned to me and said "Well, did you give it to him?" "Sure did," I said. "You know each other?" Eric asked, surprised. "We've met," Jim said. "Must have scared old Dave here, though, because he brought his bodyguards along," he chuckled. Eric looked questioningly at me. "Ron and Jason," I said. He laughed. Jim went on to tell Eric how he had figured out what was going on, our meeting in the cafeteria, and ended by saying "I even kind of like the guy," indicating me, "and you guys have my stamp of approval." "I guess there aren't any more secrets," Eric said. "That's up to you," Jim said. "You know I don't gossip." "I don't think I care anymore," Eric said. "I'm happy and I don't care who knows why." Before Jim left, another lifeguard came in. I recognized him from Annie's pool parties. Eric meant what he'd said to Jim. When he introduced me, he added "He's my man," grabbed my hand and continued, "if you know what I mean." I almost exploded with pride. There was a steady stream of visitors - lifeguards, school friends, and Eric's parents. Eric didn't hesitate. He introduced me to all as his "partner" and when they seemed puzzled, clarified things by adding "my lover." It was a day for revelations. The reaction was mostly favorable and supportive, but a few had trouble hiding their discomfort and left quickly. Some had already heard the news and couldn't seem to wait to tell Eric how happy they were for him. "I'll be the talk of the beach, up and down the coast, you know," Eric told me when we were alone. "I don't think there's ever been an openly gay lifeguard around before." "How do you feel about all this?" I asked. "I'ts kind of a relief," he said. "You make me very proud, you know," I said. "That's an extra benefit," he said. "I'm doing this for me, actually. I'm tired of the games, changing sexes all the time, and hiding the real me. I thought 'going public' would be a lot harder, and that there'd be a lot more rejection than there has been. It feels pretty damned good." We discussed the reactions of those he had 'told', particularly those who hadn't reacted favorably. Eric wasn't surprised that a couple of the other lifeguards hadn't taken the news well. "They're so insecure that anything different from the norm would scare hell out of them," he said. "They put on this Macho front to try to hide it, but I don't think they fool anybody." Then, he brought up something that I hadn't even considered. "What do you think Annie will think about this grand unveiling?" "I hadn't thought about that," I said. "She's known that I'm gay since she was six or seven, and it's never been a problem. I know she doesn't broadcast that fact, but I don't think she avoids the issue either. I don't see a problem, but do you want to tell her or do you want me to?" "I'll talk to her about it the next time I see her," he said. I left Eric long enough to get something to eat at the Hospital cafeteria. I was surprised. It was edible, but rather bland. When I returned to his room, Eric was engaged in animated conversation with someone I'd never seen before. When this guy stood, he looked like an older, thinner, rather tired version of Eric. "Babe, this is my brother Ryan," Eric said, then added, "the hippie" with a smile. "So you must be the guy I've been hearing so much about," Ryan said as we shook hands. "Hell, you don't look anywhere near as old as I expected." "Thanks!" I said, as Eric started laughing. "Thought I married an old fart, huh," he said, teasing him. "Actually, I have to run to keep up with him," his eyes sparkled. We talked about Ryan's "Road Trip" down here. He considered any trip an adventure and had taken 3 days to drive 500 miles, stopping along the way to explore anything that caught his interest. He was a real likeable guy. Then he surprised us both by saying "Tried guys myself a few times, but my heart really wasn't in it. Guess you got 'that gene' Bro." That opened the discussion on sexual preference. Eric told Ryan how his awareness had developed, and how it had culminated in meeting me. I mostly listened, learning some things about Eric that had never been discussed. I was impressed at the depth of this discussion. Eric never ceased to surprise me. For a change, I observed Visiting Hours, and when the time came, kissed Eric goodnight, and made my way out. Ryan caught up with me in the lobby. "Wanted you to know that I was sure that Eric would be OK. That's why I took my time getting here." he said. "I understand," I said. "Where are you staying?" "Planned to sleep in my Van," he said. "Would you like to stay with us?" I asked. "We have plenty of room." "I don't want to be 'in the way'," he said. "Would Eric mind?" "Go back and ask him," I said. "I will. Wait for me, OK?" he said. When he returned, he told me that Eric had approved of his staying with us, and that when Eric got home, they would have a chance to "catch up". Ryan followed me. His vintage Volkswagen van was a typical "Flower Child" throwback to the 60's. On the way home, I had second thoughts about Ryan as a house guest for an extended time. I realized that I was being selfish. I wanted Eric all to myself. Then I remembered my earlier thoughts about how Eric and I had isolated ourselves since we met. Ryan would be good for both of us. We'd manage to find privacy when we needed it. I got Ryan settled into a guest room, then the phone rang. It was Eric. "Thank you for asking Ryan to stay with us." he said. "I thought about it, but didn't know how you'd feel." "It's fine with me or I wouldn't have asked him," I said. "But, I made him promise to give us time together and not be a pest," he said. "It'll work out fine, my love," I said. "See you in the morning, babe. I love you," he said. I left a note in the kitchen for Mary telling her about our house guest then went to bed myself. Eric was beaming when I walked in the next morning. "Guess what," he said. "They're going to let me go home tomorrow - - IF I promise to behave." I kissed him, and asked "What do you mean by that?" "I have to take it easy, rest a lot, and come back for followup tests every few days, and Dr. Peterson said 'No excitement'. I asked him what he meant, and he leered at me and said, 'I think you know what I mean, but no sex!'." "I can live with that," I said. "I just want to be able hold you and snuggle. That's all I need." "That may be OK for you, but I'm so damned horny I want to jump your bones right now. See what you do to me," he said, throwing back the covers, laughing. Sure enough, his beautiful cock was standing at full attention, making a tent out of his hospital gown. "Seriously," he continued, "I'll behave. I just want to get out of here." "We'll work at it," I promised. "I want you home, too." "Now," he said, getting really serious, "I realize that this ordeal has probably been harder on you than it has on me. Your being here every minute makes me love you all that much more, but now that I'm so much better, you need a break. I want you here, but you need some different scenery than this hospital. I'll be home tomorrow and we can be together all the time, but today, why don't you get out of here and relax." "I get the feeling I'm being thrown out," I said. "For your own good," he said. "I'll have plenty of company, and without you here, maybe I can learn a little more about how they really feel about my confessions yesterday." "If that's what you want." I said. "You know I love you, but the worst is over. Let's try to get back to normal. I want this whole thing behind me as fast as possible so we can get on with our lives. Now scram!" I understood how he felt, but still wasn't happy about leaving him. He was right, of course. We needed to get on with living. I went to the office. It wasn't a surprise that everyone knew all th details of what had happened. The fact that I had a lover was now common knowledge. It didn't matter because most knew I was gay anyway. I dove into work. It seemed that there was an inordinate amount of things that required my attention. Were they trying to keep me busy? I played along, and before I knew it, the day flew past. Eric was smiling when I walked into his room. "Wow, what a day," he said. "I think everybody I know has been here. Mom and Dad and Ryan, too. And, how was your day?" "I went to the office, and I think they dreamed up work to keep me busy," I said. He chuckled. "I guess it wasn't as interesting as my day, then. If you think yesterday was full of surprises, wait til you hear about what I learned today." I gave him a big kiss, which quickly got rather urgent. He pulled back, saying "Doctors orders, you know." I know, but I don't have to like it," I said. "Tell me all about wha happened today." "For starters, I'm sure not the only queer lifeguard! Guys that I never dreamed were gay came out to me today. Since I 'broke the ice,' so to speak, some are even considering going public like I did. In one day, I've become something of a role model. I'm not sure I can handle that!" "If anyone was ever qualified to be one, you're it," I told him. "But I don't want the job," he said. "I just want to live my life without any attention, and live 'happily ever after' with you." "You can do both," I assured him. "There's something else," he said. "I guess I wasn't the only one who had his eye on you." "Oh, really!" I said. "Guess my timing was good because a couple of other guys were getting ready to make a move on you. Couple of hot guys too. I think I'm lucky to have gotten to you first." "I'm flattered, of course," I said. "But, I can't imagine getting interested in anyone else but you. They may be 'hot' but nobody even comes close. You have so much more." "I feel better now," he said. "Well, at least we have some new playmates," I said. "Mates, maybe, but play, NO. You're mine, and they can look but cant touch," he said. "Same goes for you stud," I said. "I'm not as possessive, but I want you all to myself." "Nothing to worry about there," he said. "I'm yours, now and forever." "We're getting kind of sappy," I said. "I love you, I trust you, and you can trust me." I felt a twinge of guilt when I said that, remembering Brian in Hartford. "I know I can - - now," Eric said. "Let's talk about the move tomorrow." The only flowers that he wanted to take home were the ones that Annie and I had sent. He wanted to take the plants for his office at home, and they would fit in the car. He would be released at around 10:00 AM the next day, and I would be there waiting. "Now go home," he said. "I want a good night's sleep, and you need one too. Even though we can't make love, I'll need all my strength. Hell, I've hardly moved in 4 days."