Date: Fri, 31 Dec 1999 13:29:59 -0800 (PST) From: Orrin Rush Subject: Lifeguard - 8 Disclaimer: The folling story is a work of fiction. If you are offended by descriptions of homosexual acts or man/man relations, please exit this page. THE LIFEGUARD Copyright c 1999 by Orrin C. Rush. All rights reserved. Neither this story nor any parts of it may be distributed electronically or in any other manner without the express, written consent of the author. All rights are retained. Part 8 THE BEACH Ryan had his bus packed and ready to go by 10 the next morning. I had mixed feelings about his departure. I hated to see him go , still in his depressed state, and I welcomed the privacy I'd have now. He planned to stop by Mom and Dad's house to say goodbye on his way out of town. "You guys have been wonderful hosts," he said, standing in the driveway. "Thanks," I told him, "I hope whatever's bothering you works out." "It will, Bro," he said. "You don't know how lucky you are," he added, enigmatically. The goodbyes were said, we hugged, and he chugged off. Since Dave wasn't around to caution me to "go easy", I caught up on my swimming, getting the excercise that I needed. After a hundred laps, which I figured to be about a mile, I'd had enough. I spent the rest of the day soaking up the sun. Friday, Dr. Peterson released me, and gave me a signed release so I could go back to work. I hadn't really expected it so soon, but was excited about the prospect. On the way home, I thought about the car I was driving. It was mine, and I loved it. I was excited, yes, but , I realized, not as excited as I would have been a few months back. I was getting jaded about material things too damned fast! "Appreciate!" I told myself. I "appreciated" Dave. I knew that. I loved him with all my heart, and this "stuff" was secondary. The fact that he was so generous, and so low key about it all, made it easier for me to feel this way. I didn't know what reaction he expected, but I was certainly excited last night when we picked up the car. I KNOW he felt it. I called him as soon as I got home. First, I told him how happy I was with the car, and what a feeling of independence having it gave me. I said "Thank You" for the umpteenth time. He stopped me right there. "One 'Thank You' was enough. I don't want to hear about it again. Just enjoy it," he said. "Can't I tell you how I feel?" I whined. "Of course," he answered, "I have a 'thing' about Thank You's that I'll tell you about tonight." I went on to tell him that the Doctor had released me, and that I wanted to go back to work as soon as possible. I also told him that Jim would want to check me out thoroughly before he let me go back, and suggested we invite him for dinner the next evening, if he was available. Dave heartily agreed. We exchanged "I love you's," and then I called Jim. Jim was a little hesitant, as I expected, because it was so soon. When I invited him over to "check me out" he thought that was a very good idea. I went out for another hundred laps, and found myself invigorated rather than exhausted as I'd been the day before. When Dave got home, out of his suit, and had a drink in his hand, he started where he had left off earlier. "On the 'Thank you' thing," he said. "I enjoy giving you pleasure in any way I can. It makes ME happy, and I can tell you're happy too. One 'Thank You' is enough. I know how you feel, and I don't want you to ever feel that you have to thank me again. Frankly, it bothers me." "I think I understand," I said. "It works the other way, too," he said. "When someone does me a favor or gives me something, I say "Thank You" and that's it. I absolutely hate people who do something for you, then remind you, forever, what they've done. Usually, I'm damned careful never to accept anything from them again." "I just wanted you to know that I really do appreciate it, though," I said. "Now that I know how you feel, I'll try not to gush." "Oh God, don't ever gush!" he said, taking me in his arms laughing. "How about Jim? Is he free tomorrow night?" "Yeah, he'll be here around 6," I answered. "I've already alerted Mary." "That's another thing," he said. "This is YOUR home too. You don't have to ask me if you want to invite someone over." "No, sorry about that," I said. "We live here together, but I feel that I want to talk to you about our 'social arrangements' before I commit us. I don't want to rope you into a situation that you don't want. Whatever you say, I plan to keep on doing that." "You're really considerate," he said. "And I don't mean that to sound condescending. I really mean it, and I appreciate it too. I'll try to do the same, but sometimes things happen fast, and I have to make a decision. I'll try not to get you involved in situations that I know you won't like, but I may slip up once in a while." "I can certainly live with that," I said. "Anyway, I want to go wherever you do. You're 'my man', you know." We made mad passionate love that night. While I was sucking him, I started thinking about how much I wanted the big, hard cock that was in my mouth inside me in another place. The thought of that, and the knowledge that it would happen when the time was right, really turned me on. I was so hot after draining Dave that when he reached for my cock, I shot all over him. "Wow," he said as he milked the final spurts out of me. "You make me so goddam hot," I told him. I didn't share my fantasy with him. It would happen, and I didn't want to put any pressure on him. Soon, I hoped, because I really wanted him. Jim was relaxed and cheerful around us, even though I sat with my arm around Dave. After I told him I'd been swimming a hundred laps a day, which got an eyebrow rise out of Dave, he accepted the fact that I was ready to go back to work. We agreed that I would start back on Monday. "I'm not going to make it any easier for you," he told me. "No easy assignments, and I'm not going to pair you with just the guys that are OK with your sexuality. It's going to be rough sometimes, but I think you expect that." "I know it'll be hard," I said, "but, I think I'm ready for just about anything." Sunday afternoon, Dave put his arm around me and asked "Nervous?" "Yes," I admitted. "I just don't know what to expect." "You don't have to do this, you know," he said. "You sure don't have to prove anything to me." "Yes, I do," I answered. "I'm doing it for me. I guess I need to prove something to myself." "If it helps any, I'll be there with you in spirit every minute," he said. "I know that, and it helps, but this is something I have to do alone. I know you understand," I said. He just hugged me, and let me know that he was 100% behind me. I felt a little self-conscious when I drove up in my new Jeep. I put those thoughts away and got my assignment for the day. I would be paired with Mike on one of the portable towers that are scattered along the beach. We'd have a couple of hundred yards of beach to watch, and if there weren't any rip currents, would be a boring day. I hadn't seen Mike since before the accident, so didn't know what he thought about me now that he, no doubt, knew that I was gay. The beach was quiet, not too many people out yet, so, while we watched, we talked. First, Mike wanted to know all about my accident. I made it short and sweet - I got hit, woke up two days later, and that's basically it. I'm not really interested in gory details about someone else's "operation" or other medical experience, and I don't think people are interested in mine. Then Mike asked "Is it true what I'm hearing, that you're queer?" "Gay, Mike, and yes, it's true," I said. "You're the last guy I'd have ever figured was that way," he said. "Is this something new?" "No, nothing new, I've always been gay, just didn't feel the need to tell anyone. What difference does it make?" I asked. "I don't know, I just feel funny around you, knowing that you 'like' guys," he said. "Don't worry, I'm not about to hit on you, I already have someone in my life, and I don't screw around," I told him. "Besides, you're not my type." "Yeah, that's another thing I heard - that you're shacked up with some old fucker," he said. "Damn, I don't understand how you could be interested in some wrinkly old man." "Dave's older than I am, but he doesn't look his age, and he sure as hell doesn't act it. He's more energetic and dynamic than anyone I know, even my own age," I said. "Where'd you meet him?" he asked. "He's Annie's Dad," I said. "Annie with the pool parties?" he asked. "That's the one," I said. "Shit, a rich one too," he said. "I think I've seen him a couple of times at Annie's parties, but I didn't pay any attention." "I did," I chuckled. "How's it feel to be a rich man's toy?" he asked. "That's not the way it is at all," I said, defensively. "We're equals, and we wouldn't have it any other way, but you're straight, so you wouldn't understand." "Who's the husband and who's the wife?" he asked, showing more ignorance. "It doesn't work that way," I told him. "You're stuck in the dominant - submissive role playing that we're all brought up to think is the only way things work. It isn't like that at all." "I still don't understand," he said, "and I can't picture you sucking cock or taking one up the ass, it kind of makes me sick to think about it." "Then, don't," I said. "What I do behind closed doors is my own business." It was becoming obvious that whatever I said wouldn't change his thinking, and hell, I didn't really care what he thought anyway, so I changed the subject. The day was quiet, mostly tourists on the beach, and few of them went out further than waist-deep water. When I got home, Dave was waiting. "How'd it go?" he wanted to know. "No problem," I said, and went on to describe my conversation with Mike. "Some people are so closed minded that they'll never accept," he said. "They've been so thoroughly 'conditioned' that they'll never change. Trying to change their thinking is a total waste of time." "I'm beginning to see that," I answered. The next day I was paired with Jack. Jim liked to move us around, mix us up, so that the boredom of just sitting and watching for something to happen wouldn't be as great and we'd remain alert. Jack was also one of the guys who'd "come out" to me at the hospital. The first thing he said when we were alone in the tower was "You haven't said anything to anybody, have you?" "Why should I?" I answered. His sigh of relief was rather noticeable. "After I told you, I got nervous. You're so open about it, I didn't know what you'd say," he said. "It's not for me to tell anybody," I told him. "You'll do that when, and if, you want to." While he was pondering that, I looked him over. Jack was young, around 20, I'd guess, and if I was "into" young guys, would've been my choice of all the lifeguards in our group. >From a physical standpoint, he was awesome. Handsome, tall with a really nicely muscled body, and an almost constant mischevous grin. We'd gotten along well since he'd joined our group, and I considered him a good friend. "Relax, man," I told him. "Nobody'll pick up on you unless you want them too. Hell, I didn't even notice." "I just don't think I'm ready to let it all hang out," he said. "How does it feel to be out in the open?" "I'm still getting used to it," I admitted. "So far, it hasn't been too bad. Mike, yesterday, was pretty grossed out, but after talking with Dave last night, I realize that what he thinks isn't important to me." "You're lucky to have that kind of support," he said. "What does your family think?" "They've known that I was gay for years, no big deal, and they're happy that I'm happy," I said. "And now, I don't have to worry about who knows. It's kind of like having a big burden lifted." "Must be nice," he said. "Wish I was as confident as you are." "Do you have anyone 'special' in your life?" I asked. "Not yet, I'm still exploring and learning," he said. "Get it out of your system," I advised, "then, when the right guy comes along, you'll be ready to settle down." "Don't think I'm ready for that, yet," he said. "How did you and Dave get hooked up?" "I saw him, I wanted him, and I went after him," I said. "I had to work at it, but with some lucky breaks, I landed him." "He's loaded, too, I hear," he said. "Why does everybody think I'm in it for the money?" I asked. "It's nice, I'll admit, but that's not why I love him." "Sorry about that, didn't mean to hit a nerve," he said. "It's something I guess I'll have to get used to," I said. It was another quiet day without any dramatic rescues or any other excitement. Jack and I spent most of the day talking, sharing experiences. I think I was able to ease a little of the tension he was feeling about hiding his sexuality and make him a little more comfortable with it. "There's a lot more of us than you imagine," I told him. "You're not the only other gay lifeguard around here." "Who?" he asked. "I didn't 'out' you, and I'm not going to 'out' them," I told him. Then, having a brainstorm, I added "Maybe, if all of you agree to it, Dave and I will have a party and bring all you 'closet cases' together." "How many are there?" he asked. "Several," I said. "Now you've got me really curious," he said. "Yeah, a 'coming out' party would be a great idea. I'll be there if you do it." Our shifts were staggered, so I didn't run into many of the other guys, or gals, in the office when I checked out. That night, though, I ran into another of the guys who'd come out to me, and I mentioned my idea of the 'coming out' party to him. He was as eager as Jack had been. When I told Dave about my idea, he was, as usual, supportive. "You're already becoming a 'matchmaker', I see," he said. "Well, I'm happy, and I guess I want everybody else to be, too," I answered. "Speaking about parties, Bill and Sandy are having a barbecue this Sunday, and we've been invited. Want to go?" he said. "Will Brian be there?" I asked. "Probably, and I have to tell you that I have told him that I confessed my 'slip' to you," he said. "I'm sure he's nervous as hell about meeting you." "Let me think about it," I said. And, I did, later that evening. I had long ago forgiven Dave, particularly because he'd had the balls to admit what he'd done. He was totally honest with me, and afterall, what had happened made him realize that he really loved me, and that's what counted. Brian was another matter. Somehow, I felt that he had seduced Dave, and I wasn't ready to overlook that. But, hell, I'd done the same thing. No doubt there had been others, though Dave didn't talk about them. Of course, there was Tom, who Dave didn't talk much about either. I wasn't the first, but I hoped I'd be the last. It was time for me to show Dave that I was an adult. No petty jealousies, or whatever my feelings were, needed to interfere with our lives. I knew Dave loved me, I was secure in that, and that's all that really mattered. As we were getting ready for bed, I said "I'd love to go to that party on Sunday, I just had to think about it a little." "You're sure you'll be comfortable?" he asked. "I know you belong to ME," I said as I took him in my arms. "Nobody, even some hot young stud, will ever get between us." Unconsciously, I think, when we made love that night, I pushed every one of his buttons. For the first time, just as I felt him nearing the end in my mouth, I put his hand on my bicep and flexed a few times. He blew like Mt. St. Helens! "Wow," was all he said as he drifted back to earth. The next day at work was "different". I was paired with Maria. Yes, we have female lifeguards, too. Don't you watch Baywatch? Since the day she started working, Maria had been hitting on me. I'd been as tactful as possible in turning her down, even though she was a very beautiful girl. Her opening comment was "I see the best man won!" "Sure did," I answered. "Actually, it makes me feel better. I was beginning to wonder if there was something wrong with ME, and now I learn that I never was even in the running," she said. "Sorry," I said. "I couldn't tell you the reason - then." "You were always nice about it," she said. "I understand, now. Are you happy?" "Very," I said, "now I can be me. No pretense, no hiding. It feels good." "If that's what you want, then I'm happy for you," she said. We went on to discuss how it wasn't really a "choice" but something over which we gays had no control, and how so many men suppressed their true feelings and led such miserable lives. "I also hear that you have a really serious boyfriend," she said. "Sure do," I said. "Tell me all about him," she said. I felt comfortable with Maria, and quickly warmed to the subject. I told her what a romantic, serious but humorous guy Dave was, and how much in love I was. I guess I went on and on, because she finally stopped me. "Stop," she said. "You're making me jealous, of both of you." Sunday rolled around, time for my confrontation with Brian. I was a little uneasy, which Dave sensed, and just before we left for the party, took me in his arms and gave me a hug and lingering kiss. I felt reassured. This was my first experience of going to a basically straight party as an openly gay couple, and I felt a little apprehensive about that, too. I needn't have worried. Nobody paid any attention, and Dave introduced me around to everyone without explanation. It wasn't necessary. I tried to copy his relaxed, comfortable manner. Then I saw Brian. He was gorgeous, and I could understand why Dave had tumbled. When we were introduced, he looked me straight in the eye and said "We need to talk. There are a few things that you deserve to know." "OK," was all I was able to say. He drifted away, and I got into a conversation with Sandy about my return to school full-time. She was easy to talk to, and it seemed more like we were old friends rather than someone I'd met for a minute at the airport. We were seated, talking with other people, when Brian came up and said "Can I borrow Eric for a few minutes, Uncle Dave?" Dave nodded, and I got up to follow Brian. We found chairs away from the crowd, and with drinks in hand, he began. "I want you to know that I put the make on Uncle Dave. He didn't have a thing to do with it," he said. I tried to interrupt, but he wouldn't let me. He was damned straightforward, I'd give him that. "You've got to understand that I've had the hots for him since I was 15, and this was my chance to live out my fantasies," he continued. "Looking back, I realize that it was very selfish, and the wrong thing to do, but it's an experience I'll never forget even if Uncle Dave didn't seem to enjoy it much. "It was sex, pure and simple, for him. Mechanical, no emotion, not even a kiss. I also want you to know that it's over, that's it, there will never be another time, and I'd like to be friends with you because Uncle Dave is a very important person in my life, and sex has nothing to do with it. One look at the two of you together makes it real clear to me that you're deeply in love, and I wouldn't do anything to change that." "Thanks for telling me all this," I said. "I had things pretty well figured out, and you've confirmed everything. I have to admit that I seduced him, too, but I think I was a little more subtle." "Well, the best man won," he said. "I couldn't compete with you if I tried." "Just don't try," I warned him, smiling. He got the hint. I went back to sit by Dave, and at the first opportunity, he asked "What was that all about?" "Brian just confirmed what I already knew. He wanted me to know that he planned the whole thing, and that you didn't stand a chance," I said. "I don't think he'll ever bother you again. Case closed, as far as I'm concerned." Then, thinking, I added "If we have that 'coming out' party for the lifeguards, I think I'd like to invite him. I'll get him involved with somebody else and that way I won't have to watch over my shoulder." "You don't have anything to worry about, babe," he said. "I know, but I'd feel safer," I giggled. He punched me playfully. The beach where I worked was about four miles long. In a way, it was segregated. Nothing official, just that certain groups seemed to congregate in their own sections, families in one area with all the kids, Latinos in another, then gays, the military, and so on. One section was reserved for surfers, no swimmers allowed so they wouldn't collide. Tourists were mixed in with all of the groups, obvious because of their pale bodies. I didn't have a favorite duty station, but I probably liked the Latino section the least. I'm not prejudiced, but when the gang bangers were on the scene, there was always trouble. On Wednesday, with Billy, one of the other "closet cases", we had the Latino station. Around noon, the gangs started arriving. They were obvious because of the "colors" they wore. Billy and I braced for the worst. We knew many of them because of previous run-ins, and all the troublemakers seemed to be there. They were from rival gangs, too, which didn't make the situation any less tense. We alerted the main tower, and sat back to wait. About 12 of them settled right in front of us, and we certainly didn't expect what happened next. "Hey look," one of them yelled. "The faggot's back," and pointed at me. We ignored them. They got bolder. The biggest of the teenage thugs got up, stood right in front of us, and unzipped his shorts, pulling out a dick that was as wide as it was long. "Wanna suck a real man's dick?" he taunted, the others gathering around to watch the fun. "Maybe you'd rather I fucked your lily white ass," he continued. We continued to ignore them. He was getting excited, his dick getting hard, and enormous. There was an audience, and he had to show off. The group of spectators was growing, egging him on. "I know you want it," he said. "C'mon down and let me show you what a real stud can do for ya." By now, there were several dicks in evidence. Everybody wanted a piece of the action, and had a chance to show how manly there were, too. "Don't be a tease," he went on, "do I have to come up there and drag you down here so I can fuck ya?" At this point, Billy grabbed the phone and called for reinforcements. Things could get out of hand in a real hurry. "Callin your fag buddies to help ya?" he shouted, and at the same time headed for the ladder to our tower. The crowd, now numbering at least a hundred, surged forward following him. They may have been from rival gangs, but they were more interested in the excitement than beating up on each other. "Think I'll come up there and fuck ya so everybody can watch," he yelled as he started up the ladder. "Fuckin' faggots NEED to get fucked." There was barely room for Billy and me on the platform, so when this asshole's head and shoulders were above the deck, I tried to push him off. He was strong, and held on. My efforts only made him more agressive. With one hand he grabbed my leg, and before I could get hold of anything, I went flying off the platform onto the sand. In seconds, Billy landed on top of me. "Hold 'em down," the thug yelled, and his companions below grabbed us. We were pulled apart and held down by a lot of hands, some fat kid sitting on my chest. I couldn't move, and Billy was in the same position. My shorts were roughly pulled down, and I was fully exposed. "Hey look at that big faggot cock," somebody said. The ringleader strutted over. "Roll him over, him too," he said, pointing at Billy who was also naked. "I'm gonna fuck this one first, then that one," he said. We were roughly turned over, my dick getting scratched by the sand. "Anybody got some lotion?" our torturer asked. "Don't want to scrape my cock on that little bitty asshole." He moved around in front of us, we were lying side by side, being held immobile. He greased up his cock which wasn't too long but had to be at least four inches wide. He was really getting into this, now, and would have to go through with his threats to show what a big man he was. "Ready for a real man's cock?" he asked me. "I know you'll like it better than those sissy dicks you're used to." "Spread his legs and gimme some room," he told the guys holding us. "You guys can have sloppy seconds after I'm done with him." This seemed to excite the crowd, and I could see a lot of hard cocks sticking out of bathing suits, ready to go. Up to this point, I hadn't said anything, knowing that to demand he stop would only goad him on, and I sure as hell wasn't going to beg. Billy screamed, I turned as much as I could and saw one of our captors trying to stick his whole hand up Billy's ass. Neither one of us could move or help the other. The fat kid was still sitting on me, and a lot of others were holding my arms and legs immobile. Billy was in the same position. My only hope was to stall for time. I decided to goad him, maybe get him mad so he'd slow up. "Whats the matter, dumbshit?" I said. "Won't any girls take that ugly dick of yours?" I guess I hit a sore spot because he slapped me on the ass, hard. "I got me a mancock, you fucking faggot," he spat out. "After I fuck you, you'll never want anything else." "Nobody'll take it, huh," I shot back. "I can see why, it's the ugliest piece of meat I've ever seen. You should hide it so nobody gets sick." He slapped me again. "You still a virgin?" I asked. That one hit home. "I ain't no fuckin' virgin, you slimy cocksucker," he yelled. "With that cock?" I taunted, "must'a been rape because nobody even wants to look at it." I'm pretty sure he looked around to see if I was right, but that didn't stop him. He was between my legs now, and time was running out. The next thing I felt was a sharp sting as a big, blunt finger went into my ass. It hurt like hell, but I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing that. The crowd was pretty quiet, listening to the exchange between us. His finger went in again, only this time it felt like his whole hand. At that moment, I heard the faint wail of sirens, there was hope. Seconds later I heard Jim on a bullhorn. "Break it up," he shouted, and his pickup truck came crashing through the crowd who had to jump to get out of his way. The hoodlums holding us let up, but not fast enough. Jim's truck was full of other lifeguards who made flying tackles on the ones who had been holding us down. A few fists connected, and punks were strewn everywhere. Jim ran over to us, and first wanted to know if we were all right. When we assured him that we were OK, he stood as a shield so we could pull up our shorts with a little privacy. By now, electrical ties were being fastened around the wrists and ankles of our attackers so they couldn't get away. The police arrived soon afterward to haul them off. "We'll get your ass for this," one of them sneered. I was glad to see the remark was directed at me, and not Billy. I could see that Billy was really shaken up. He appeared to be shivering, and Jim got a blanket out of his truck and wrapped it around him. Possible shock. "That's all for today," Jim said. "You guys are going home, and I'm driving you." He got no argument. While Jim was organizing the rest of the troops, making re-assignments to cover all the beach, I walked over to Billy. "You live alone?" I asked him. He nodded. "Then you're going home with me." He nodded. Back at the office, Jim insisted that we see a doctor. Finally, we convinced him that physically, we were all right. No damage had been done. I felt OK, but I was worried about Billy. I talked Jim into driving us home, since he was adamant about it, in my car. Sam could drive him back later. On the way, I called Dave to tell him I'd be home early. I told him we'd had an "incident" at the beach. When I assured him that I was OK, he let it go at that. I wasn't surprised, though, when I saw him pulling into the driveway just ahead of us. After a hug, and assurance from Jim that I was OK, we went in. In the den, Dave poured us all a drink, which I think we needed. I sure did. When the story of the "incident" had been told, Jim spoke up. "I'm going to ask you a favor, Eric," he said. "Sure Jim," I said. "I hate to do this, but I'm going to ask you to quit. You're planning to, anyway, and as a personal favor, I'd like you to do it now. I've been thinking about this all the way out here, and I believe it's the best solution for everyone concerned. "You've proven whatever point you set out to prove, I'm pretty sure of that because I hear about just about everything that xxxxx goes on. "Between now and when school starts, those little assholes will be down there looking for trouble every day. If you're not there, they won't be able to cause more trouble, and I don't think either one of us wants a repeat of today. Will you do it?" "I see your point, and since I was planning on being there only another week, I agree," I said. I looked at Dave who was smiling, but didn't say a word. "Then I'd better get going," Jim said. "There's going to be a ton of reports to fill out even though most of those little shits are probably minors and will get off with a slap on the wrist." Sam was ready with the car. Billy hadn't said a word the whole time, but he was looking a whole lot better. I took him into our bedroom to loan him some clothes. We both were changing when he cracked "Man, you really do have a big dick!" We both laughed, and I knew he was feeling better. Back in the den, we told Dave what really had happened. Jim had seen us being held down and nude, but neither of us had given the gory details. Why bother. Assault was about all that could be proven, even if it did get that far. I told my part of the story up to the point where Billy screamed, then he jumped in with his version. "Man," he said, "I've had a few cocks up my ass, but never a hand that was all covered with sand! That HURTS! I know it sounds funny now, but it sure wasn't then." While we were laughing, I realized that this was the first time Billy had mentioned his being gay in front of Dave, or anyone else that I knew of. Certainly not Jim. "If you're going to stick something up there, at least use some lube," he continued. When we got around to discussing possible repurcussions from what happened, I said "They were after me, you just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I don't think there'll be guilt by association." "I don't think I'll have any problems," Billy said, "as long as I keep my mouth shut." "And so had a few others," I said. "You mean there's more than just you and me?" he asked. "Several that I know of," I said. "I'm not going to ask who," Billy said, "you probably wouldn't tell me anyway." I agreed, and told him about the "coming out" party we were thinking about. He was very interested, and suggested that it would be more than that, maybe a "mutual protection association" for the closet cases. Dave hadn't said much all evening. Finally, putting his arm around me, he said "I'm so glad you agreed with Jim. I have been hoping that something like this wouldn't happen, but it did. Now there won't be any more opportunities for it to happen again. Truthfully, I'm awfully relieved." "In a way, I brought it on myself," I said. "I had to show somebody, myself, that I could handle it. I'm glad it's all over." "Me too," Dave said. Before the evening was over, the other four "closet cases" called to tell me how badly they felt about what had happened to me. They were even more eager to meet the other gays in our group. Hopefully, my bull headedness hadn't set back their confidence too much. I owed THEM. In bed, Dave snuggled up to me and asked if I was really OK. "I think I've finally learned my lesson," I said. "This 'pride' thing has gotten totally out of control. My attempting to 'show the world' may have hurt some innocent people. After what happened today, none of the other guys will ever come out of the closet, and I don't blame them." "Think of it another way," he said. "You put yourself on the line and showed what could happen. You took the brunt of it, and now they won't have to." Why do I love him? Little things like that. He's taken something that I would probably have kicked myself for during the next few weeks, felt guilty as hell about, and put a positive spin on it. "I love you," I said. "But, do you think I'll ever learn?" "You're doing that right now," he said. No advice, no lecture, only support. That's the Dave I love. - - - - - - - - We decided to go ahead with the party, and to have it that Saturday Night if everyone was available. I also wanted to invite Brian. All the beach guys were available, all five of them, so I called Brian. I explained the purpose of the party, and asked him to join us. "Why are you inviting me?" he wanted to know. "Do you have a boyfriend?" I asked "Not at the moment," he said. "Well, this is an opportunity for you to meet five of the hottest, single guys in town," I said. "I think I see what you're doing, but I'd love to come," he said. Dave and I decided to do something different than the usual entertaining done in Southern California - to eat indoors, for a change. We planned a sit-down dinner that Mary could prepare ahead of time, then Dave and I could serve. I advised all the guys that it would be semi-formal, which meant long pants and something other than a T-shirt. We also felt that this atmosphere would slow down any of "that" kind of activity. We wanted the guys to have a good time, but not THAT good a time. They could do that on their own. Other than a beer-bust or hamburgers on the barbecue, this was the first real party that I had ever planned. Something like this was everyday stuff to Dave, but he let me handle most everything. I looked to Mary for advice, and she was a joy to work with. She really wanted to stay around and serve us, saying that gay men certainly weren't anything new to her. When I explained the purpose of the get-together, she understood, and planned a menu that would require the least amount of effort for us. Jack was the first to arrive, followed by Billy. When Billy saw Jack, his jaw dropped. "Not you!" he said. "You bet," Jack said, "I'm as queer as they come." The rest, Tom, Jason and Aaron, arrived in quick succession to similar reactions. All of these guys were 100% masculine, not a limp wrist among them, and just about all of them were totally suprised to see the others there. It was like they were meeting each other for the first time. Brian was the last to arrive. I'm not sure if he wanted to make an "entrance" or if he was just late. I introduced him as a friend of "ours", and I thought his eyes would pop out. Admittedly, this much testoserone, this beautifully packaged, was enough to make any gay man's heart skip a few beats and knees turn to jelly. I went back to my bartending duties, and caught Billy eyeing Brian from head to toe. He saw me looking at him and winked, saying "This one's MINE!" At the table, after the wine had been poured, Tom stood up and motioned for quiet. "Here's to our wonderful hosts, and the two luckiest guys in the room. They have each other." We all clinked glasses, and even though he was at the other end of the table, I saw Dave's eyes get misty. There was no hiding the tears that formed in mine. >From there, the conversation got a bit ribald. Jason piped up "At least we all know Aaron's circumcised, he's Jewish," which made Aaron choke on his food. Someone else said "I wish I had the balls Eric does to come out like he did." Someone else answered with "I just want Eric's balls, period!" which brought down the house. Billy wasn't wasting any time with Brian. They sat together at dinner, and when we got up to go back to the main living room, both of their crotches seemed a lot fuller than before. All of the guys wanted to know what "really" had happened the other day when Billy and I had been attacked. We told the story, not leaving out any details. Billy didn't comment about other "objects" being inserted into him, and I could see Dave wince when I told about the fingers in me. It was pretty much agreed that the best way to prevent something like this from happening again was to keep a low profile about their sexual preferences. Since they hadn't recognized each other as being gay, it was a good bet that others wouldn't pick up on it either. No point in advertising, like I had done. When the party broke up, there was a lot of hugging and kissing, and I heard more than one guy say "I've wanted to do that for a long, long time." Even though I wouldn't be working with them anymore, they made it clear that I would always be a member of the group, and so would Dave. Not only did they all like him, Jack whispered in my ear "If you ever get tired of him, let me know. I want first dibs." "On me?" I asked. "No, Dave." Snuggled in Dave's arms in the den, he was chuckling. I looked at him questioningly. "Mission accomplished," he said. "What do you mean?" I asked. "Billy and Brian will be and 'item' before morning," he chuckled. "Oh that," I said. "That's just a fringe benefit." I couldn't help but chuckle too. "How do you feel about not going back to work?" he asked, serious now. "I'll miss it," I admitted, "but, as I've said earlier, that part of my life is over. It's onward and upward from here, and I'll be doing it with you." - - - - - - - - - To be continued. Author's note: Feedback and comments are always very welcome. I carefully consider all suggestions and constructive criticism. I'd really like to hear from you guys. orrinrush@yahoo.com