Date: Fri, 18 Dec 2009 17:19:38 -0800 (PST) From: Peder Pederson Subject: The report, chapt 3 III. The Problems I boarded a commuter and in an hour I had landed in Madison. It was not completely on a whim. The whole situation revolving around Thad was worrisome to me. I felt that it need some resolution. I checked into a motel near the airport and began to scan the phone book. There were a number of Washburns! Luckily on the fifth try, the phone was answered by a pleasant woman's voice, "Hello?" "Hello, May I speak to Thad, please?" This had been my approach to the previous four attempts. "Who's calling, please?" "This is David Pierce. I'm here in Madison. Is Thad there?" "Just one moment, please." I could hear a brief muffled conversation on the other end. Then, "This is Thad." "Thad," I recognized his voice, "I called the team this morning. The receptionist told me you were on sick leave. I really want to talk to you. So I flew down here to see you." There was a pause. No reply. "Thad?" "Yeah, I'm here." "Can we meet someplace?" and I added, "Please!" "I don't know . . . ," then, "Well, . . . OK. Where are you?" I gave him the motel's name. "Yeah, I know it. . . . There's a restaurant right across the street. . . . Meet you there in twenty minutes." "OK, Thanks." I crossed the busy street, entered the restaurant and found a table in the corner--away from the restaurant's traffic. Some minutes later, Thad walked in, dressed casually. He looked about, I waved, he ambled over and he sat across from me. "Thanks for coming," I said, offering him my hand. "I'm not sure why I'm here," he admitted returning the shake. We ordered coffee and waited 'til the steaming brew was in front of us. "Are you all right, Thad?" "Yeah. Just needed to get away for a while." "I understand." I admitted. "Do you?" he shot back. "Do you really know how I feel?" He pushed the chair back a bit, rested his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands "Well, I . . . " "Do you know what's been going through my mind? Do you know how I feel? Do you know . . . how . . . I wanted . . . you?" he stated looking up at me. I was dumbstruck! This confession was more than I expected. "No! I thought not!" he continued. "What I did Saturday was stupid! I don't know what possessed me. I only knew you were there . . . and I . . . wanted to hold you." "Yeah, but, Thad, you could have told be before." "What did you want me to do? Walk up to you and say, 'Hey, David, I really want to hold you. Let's go to bed?'" I flashed a brief smile, "Well, you could have . . ." Again he cut me off, "David! I'm sorry I did what I did Saturday. I'm sorry I forced myself on you. It . . was. . . so fuckin . . . stupid. I can't take it back! But, I can't say I'm sorry for how I feel." "Thad, what happened . . . ." "Let me finish!" "No!" I stated emphatically. "Let me say something first." I quickly sought the right words. "I certainly was not aware of your . . . feelings towards me. I must admit I'm a bit surprised, but . . . not offended. What happened Saturday night, if you remember . . . after you . . . we were in the room. . . . I was not totally acquiescent . . . nor passive. I must admit . . . I was initially frightened, even angered. But! If you remember . . . I participated." Thad pondered my statement quietly for a time. "Well, I'm sorry, . . . sorry for my blind stupidity back there," he confessed and stated, "It won't happen again!" He moved back to a sitting position, hands still clasped together. I shrugged my shoulders noncommittally. I felt it was best to probe no further. Some of the questions had been answered--not all. But, at least the important ones had been satisfied. We sat quietly, drinking our coffee--each staring into our own distance. I realized that whatever had compelled Thad to commit his actions last Saturday was as deeply disturbing to him as it was to me. Was it a universal expectation that athletes had to be aggressive, combative, contentious in all their pursuits? Did we expect that their likes had to revolve around ritual conflict? Isn't that what sports are--controlled, ritualised conflict? Had we expected or demanded such an approach in these modern day gladiators? Do we view any behaviour that is not tough as a weakness or something to be sneered at? How would the public, in general, react if they knew that one of their macho paradigms enjoyed knitting, or baking or Mozart? Was such a code of aggressive behaviour subtly imprinted early on in high school and/or college? Or, are we to attribute such behaviour as a side effect of the oft employed steroids? Certainly such aggressive behaviour is unacceptable. But, was Thad completely at fault? I do not mean to mitigate what happened that night, although the end results were pleasant. The end never justifies the means! Thad was a handsome desirable man. That's a fact. My reaction to him was not completely intellectual or analytical. Was his behavior that night symptomatic of something darker? I was unable to clearly analyze what had transpired to this point. I needed time alone. Therefore, I broke our silent and individual reverie. "Thad, do you mind driving me back to the airport? I'd like to catch the last commuter back to the cities." He blinked back to the here-and-now, "Sure." He looked intently at me for a moment. His hazel eyes also appeared to be fighting to make some sense! I paid the bill, checked out of the unused motel room and Thad quietly drove me the short distance to the terminal. "Thanks, Thad. Thanks for seeing me." I smiled as he turn to acknowledge me. However, he offered no response. I shook his hand and reached over giving him a quick hug, saying, "It's OK." His only response was what seemed to be a stifled sob. Quickly I got out of the car, entered the terminal, changed my reservation and boarded the flight back to the cities. The hour's return flight was, for me a jumble of information. I was unable to clearly assess or to put into any order what I knew and experienced. Confusion seemed to reign. Back home, like some automaton, I got off the plane and walked to the terminal's entrance. I took a taxi to my condo, soaked under a hot shower and went to bed. The next morning I phoned Bill and told him that I would be in that afternoon. Luckily, I didn't have to punch a clock. But, I did have to produce. To date, both Bill and I were satisfied with the arrangement! I brewed a pot of coffee, poured a large mug full and tried to gather together what I knew of Thad Washburn. He was: twenty-eight; biracial; from Madison, Wisconsin; college educated; a utility quarterback; six-foot-four; two-hundred-fifteen or so pounds; dark-honey colored skin; broad shouldered; clearly defined musculature; narrow hips; a firm, rounded ass; muscular thighs; an opulent, uncut, mahogany cock and balls; a mole over his right hip-bone; hazel eyes; black, heavy, arched eyebrows; straight, flared nose; full lips; and a strong jaw line. In addition, he appeared to be basically sensitive; but, could be aggressive; and he both actively and passively participated in same-sex encounters. He indicated that he had experienced certain feelings for me from the first time we met. He did not reveal these feelings to me, and apparently to no one else. The night of the gala, he acted upon these feelings, compulsively, in a manner in which he now regretted and for which he is, apparently deeply embarrassed. Thad Washburn was, indeed, an enigma--a man of some complexity! Again and again, I catalogued what I knew of him. Mid morning the doorbell sounded. I padded to the door, cup in hand, and opened it. A delivery man stood there. "Mr. David Pierce?" he asked. "Yes," I answered, and he handed me what appeared to be a small floral box. "Thank you," I said. "Have a good day," came the canned reply and he walked down the hall. Closing the door, I slipped the ribbon off, opened the box and folded back the green tissue. A single red rose nestled in its tissue enclosure. A plain white card peaked out from behind the bloom. It read, "Sorry." Nothing else--no name--no address--just, "Sorry." It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who sent this! Yet, its existence, its meaning--its symbolism--was not all together clear to me. I went to the phone and called Thad's number. There was no answer except a recorded message. I ignored it. Then I phoned the team's office and asked for him. Again I was informed, "He's on sick leave," by the receptionist. I went to the office that afternoon and took up my investigation of the zoning issue. Soon I was involved in that problem and the hours sped by. For several days I immersed myself in my work. My mind was focused and my work progressed. That Saturday afternoon, the football team had an exhibition game. I obtained a ticket and attended. Thad was there, suited up and played one quarter. Late, the same afternoon, back at the office, I impulsively--I mean on a real illogical turn of the mind--wrote the following note: "Saw you at the game this afternoon. Good job! Would you like to have dinner tomorrow? 7:00--no alcohol served! David." I sealed it in a newspaper's official envelope, called a messenger and had it delivered to Thad's apartment. It was only after the messenger had left that I realized I had not indicated where! I dialed his number and again got the answering machine. "Thad? This is David. The dinner invitation is for my place." I hung up. Again I realized that I did not ask him to respond either in the note or to his answering machine. "What an idiot!" I chided myself. "Well if he comes, good. If he doesn't? That's that!" I didn't need to do any special shopping on Sunday as my larder was fairly well stocked. Friday I had stopped by the meat market and purchased four nice New York strips--one I had eaten that night. I was not a gourmet cook by any means, but I run a mean grill! Grilled steaks, backed potatoes and green beans, plus a salad ought to make a respectable dinner. Besides, if Thad did not show up, I wouldn't have wasted much time! I had to be practical! 7:00 came and passed! "Well, I suppose I was asking too much," I was thinking as the doorbell sounded. I opened the door. Thad was standing there, a pleasant smile on his face. "Come in!" I said, a bit relieved. "Thanks for the invitation," Thad replied. "Hey, I have to apologize," I stated, "I sort of made it sound kinda like . . . a command. I should have written, 'R.S.V.P.' at the bottom of the note . . . but is was really rather spur of the minute . . ." I was babbling, nervously. "That's OK," Thad stated calmly. "I thought I should call you . . . to tell you I was coming . . . but really didn't decide . . . 'til an hour ago . . ." "Well, anyway, I'm glad you're here!" Thad nodded his head and smiled. "Something to drink?" I asked. Thad lifted an eyebrow, questioningly. I raised my hand in mock surrender, "Nothing alcoholic! Lemonade, orange juice," and I continued with a recitation of carbonated drinks. "Lemonade would be fine." "Have a seat," I invited and I went to the kitchen to get the lemonade. We sat and chatted for a few minutes--nothing momentous--just idle chat. Then, I went out onto the balcony and started the gas grille. "Hope you like steaks?" I called into the living room, "my culinary skills are limited." "Yeah, Love steak" he answered as he came to the opening onto the balcony, "Need any help?" "Not much help needed here," I laughed as the propane popped under the lighter. I slapped the two healthy steaks on the grill and went to the kitchen to drop the green beans into the steamer. The potatoes were done--no work there. Thad had followed me and leaned against the kitchen's entrance. "Where did you learn to cook?" "Cook? Hah! What I do is the mother of necessity!" and we both laughed. "Well my cooking experience is making toast," he chuckled. I checked the steaks, with Thad's help brought the food to the table. "Have a seat," I said indicating his place and went to retrieve the cooked steaks. Thad bent over his plate and savored the aroma of the grilled steak. "I'm starved," he confessed. As I sat down I nodded to the single red rose, by now fully open, in a makeshift vase on the side table, "Thanks for the flower." Thad merely smiled his acknowledgment. The dinner was acceptable and we both ate our fill and chatted amiably. We both finished and sat back and sighed in sated contentment. "Now if I was a good host, I'd offer you a brandy . . . But, I'm laboring under certain constraints this evening." Throwing back his head in a hearty laugh, Thad said, "Please, have one on me. I insist!" I admitted that I really didn't have any and we both laughed. Moving back the the living room we sat and talked. Talked about the team, Sunini's rule, our favorite vacation spots, etc. Just stuff! About 10:15 Thad glanced at his watch. "Hey, David, I should be going. It's getting a bit late for me?" "What do you do, turn into a pumpkin at midnight," I quipped. He laughed, "Ya know I got hours! Can you believe it?" "Sunini's rules!" "Yeah. I don't want to cross him again," he grinned and added, "He can be a real bear." Thad stood up. I led the way to the door. "Thanks for coming over, Thad," I said turning towards him. "I'm glad I came," he said genuinely, smiled and held out his hand, adding, "Thanks for the dinner." I shook his hand, but did not release it. Standing there for a second I just looked at this sensitive, handsome man. Nothing untoward was said or even intimated this whole evening. It had been simply been a time of two guys having dinner and talking. Yet, all of a sudden, . . . he was so damned appealing. I stepped up to him, slipped my arms around him and hugged him. "Umh," escaped from his mouth as I drew him nearer. His arms encircled my torso and returned my embrace. Without thinking, I kissed him lightly on the neck, and again that strange, strained, "Umh!" Thad turned his face towards mine. For several seconds we just stood there, arms locked around the other, eyes searching each others face for some sign. Then, as if on cue, be both sought the other's mouth and were locked in a deep, searching, elemental kiss. Both of us moaned as we yearned to draw even closer. Our bodies reacted to the other's. I could feel the warmth of his torso as it transmitted to me a primal yearning. Our groins pressed with undeniable vigor against each other. Moans filled our throats, transmitting our desires and needs. We broke that searching kiss, breathless. Pulling back we stared into each other's eyes and both of us smiled. "Thanks, David," came a murmur, rumbling up from the depth of his being. "You already thanked me for dinner," I said, not fully comprehending his meaning. Thad smiled, "Thanks for the kiss . . . it sorta neutralizes . . . what I . . . well, things." Finally understanding, I smiled and stated, "I would like to neutralize some more!" Thad issued a deep throated laugh, grasped my face and kissed me again, warmly and briefly. I tried to encircle his waist again, but he pulled away. "Man, you don't know how easy it would be for me to stay . . . but I just can't." "Why?" "Well, I'm still on Coach Sunini's short-hairs list, and if he finds I've violated curfew . . . And, . . . I appreciate what you just did . . . kissing me . . . Damn! . . . Hey, David, can we cool it a bit?" The words tumbled out of his mouth seemingly unconnected. "I have felt . . . liked you so much . . . I don't want to ruin it. . . Damn it, David . . ." The look of a caged animal swept across his face as he glanced about and back to me. "With you . . . a . . . one night stand . . . might be great . . . but . . . I don't want that! There I said it!" Again, this hunk, this incredibly sensitive hunk astounded me. I was astonished at his halting confession, his candor. I understood his implication. I'm just not at all sure I want to be part of it! We stood there looking at each other. "OK, I understand," I mumbled as I opened the door and he left. Slowly I closed the door and mused about that night. It was basically a relaxed time. As if by some unwritten, unspoken agreement we avoided any mention of the past couple of weeks. Our conversation was wide ranging, light and relaxed. When I hugged him at the door, Thad did not offer any resistance. As a matter of fact, he responded--hugging me, kissing me and his body also reacted. The little sounds he made, the 'Umh' were of surprised acceptance. Then the tumble of words, seeming unrelated, reflecting both his desire and feelings. He had, apparently overcome, in part, his natural reticence. But, the circumstances did not allow for full, unimpeded disclosure. Hence, the disjointed verbal allusions to what he felt--what he wanted to say. Early the next morning, before I had left for work, my phone rang. It was Thad. "David, I wanted to thank you again for the great time last night." "Don't mention it," I answered then alluded to his early departure, "Too bad you have a curfew." "Well, I just . . ." he didn't complete his thought. "Anyway, I gotta run. The team's on the road for two weeks." "Oh?" I was surprised that he didn't mention it last night. But then, why should he? "Well have fun!" I added ingenuously. "Hah! Some fun!" "Call me when you get back." "OK," and then, "Bye." "Bye." Things progressed in my investigation. I was given a number of stories that didn't require too much time. I was able to complete them without too much trouble. I had expected, or maybe: hoped that Thad would have called. He didn't. I had been working hard for the past month and decided to take the weekend off. Leave everything at the office. Friday I ate at my favorite restaurant near where I lived, had a Chopin martini and a bottle of wine. "Good thing I didn't drive," I murmured to myself. I was slightly unsteady as I walked back to the condo. Slept in Saturday morning--something I rarely do, but it felt good. I showered, put on a pair of shorts and just lounged around the condo--reading the paper and some back issues of my favorite magazines I hadn't got to. At 12:15 my door bell rang. As I went to the door, I wondered, "Who could that be?" I opened the door. There stood Thad! "What a pleasant surprise," I admitted. Seeing my partial undress, he smiled and asked, "Have I got you at a bad time?" "No, no," I assured him, "Come in." "I should have called. But, I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd chance you being in." "Just lazing around . . . decided to take the weekend off," I confessed, "Have a seat . . . still some hot coffee . . . want a cup?" "No, don't bother. Just wanted to see if you'd like to have lunch with me." "That'd be great . . . I'll change and be right with you," I stated and repeated, "Please, sit," as I walked towards the bedroom. In passing he reached out and lightly touched my shoulder. That tentative contact sent shock waves through me. I stopped, turned towards him and we stood there a second or two searching each other's face. Then, that strange sound, "Umh," escaped from him. He reached out grasped my shoulders, drew me to him and kissed me squarely on the lips. I was taken by surprise and was quickly breathless. I broke, saying with humor, "Keep that up and we'll have to skip lunch." Thad didn't smile at my humor, but slowly drew me to him again, wrapped his arms around me. This time I was prepared! Our kiss was long, deep, searching and incredibly sweet! Our tongues entwined and explored each other's mouth--a sensuous, unseen dance. I enfolded him in my arms and drew him closer. Again, I heard, "Umh," and realized that it was an involuntary utterance signifying disbelief and yet acceptance. Thad's hands roamed over my bare back. Chills ran down my spine and my body torqued under his electric touch. "Mmmm," I moaned spontaneously. I lifted the hem of his polo shirt and felt the warmth of his velvety smooth, muscled back. As my hands coursed over his satiny skin. Thad groaned and his hips flexed forward and I was instantly aware of a growing presence in his crotch. I grasped his shirt and slowly drew it up and over his chest. He released me long enough to draw his arms out of their sleeve. But he did not free my lips. His polo shirt circled his neck as my hands returned to his smooth back. The feel of his bare chest and belly pressed against mine fueled both of our mounting passion. We broke our kiss. Thad quickly pulled his shirt over his head, flung it aside, grasped my face and looked deep into my eyes, searchingly. Knowing what he had intimated two weeks before, I asked, "Do you want to continue this?" I don't really why I asked that question. By now my feelings for him was unmitigated lust. But, for some strange reason, his feelings were important at that moment. I offered him a convenient retreat from what seemed inevitable. His answer was a gentle kiss, and then a second one, more insistent than the first. Taking his hand, I lead this desirable man to the bedroom. He sought to enfold me again in his arms. Gently I pushed him back. "Thad, we have plenty of time," I stated, but then thought. "Maybe not." and added, "Haven't we?" "'Til Monday morning, " he stated with a grin. "Do you want to do this? God knows I do." "Yes!" I looked at him intently--instantly cataloguing what I saw. Those incredible hazel eyes under heavy, black, arched eyebrows searched mine. They say that 'eyes are the mirror of the soul'--well, Thad's were beautiful. The nostrils at the base of his straight nose flared as he half panted. I noticed that Thad's lips had a slight ridge running around their outline as if sculpted by a knowing master. They were pink, offering a sensuous contrast to the dark-honey color of his skin. From his strong jaw his neck stood firmly on his broad, muscled shoulders. Thad's torso was smooth, hairless. Small, quarter-sized dark nipples punctuated his formidable pecs and from there his laddered abs descended. He had a classic "V'ed" torso. His arms were equal to the rest. Thad's upper body was muscular, but without the obscene bulges that are seen in some quarters. He was perfectly desirable to me. He reached out again and again, I stepped back. "I want to watch you finish undressing," I declared with a wry smile. Thad returned the smile and kicked off his shoes. Then without taking his eyes of of mine he reached down and unbuckled his belt. Deftly he unhooked the waistband and lowered the zipper. Still he watched me as he slipped his trousers over his hips and let them slide to his ankles. He stood there briefly. Now, I'm not a scopophile, but I have always found that even though my eyes are not an erogenous zone, they trigger luxurious sensations from what they behold, from time to time! Watching another person slowly disrobe in front of me has always been a turn on. Not much into 'strip shows,' although I have found some interesting. Guess I am a visual person as well as verbal. His muscular thighs protruded from the legs of his boxers. They too were hairless and smooth over taut muscles. Only his lower legs had a dusting of dark hair Hooking his thumbs in the waistband of his boxers and without taking his eyes off of mine he pushed them downwards. I saw a dark shadow where hair normally grew--he had shaved his pubes--and a lengthening cock over pendulous balls. Amply hooded, his cock arched outward and down in its half erect state. Where or mahogany with a hint of blue. His balls were darker yet. As he stood there, naked, looking at me, I shook my head and uttered, "My Gawd, you're beautiful!" I wanted to worship this man--his body--in every way possible. He was turning me into an idolator! He smiled, stepped out of his encumbering clothes and came towards me. Quickly I shed my shorts and stepped into his arms. The feel of his nude body against me immediately transported me to realms of utter delight. We kissed deeply and with unbridled passion. My hands rested on his hips then slid up his torso to his bulging pecs. Thumbs and forefingers sought, found and manipulated his hard nipples. Thad groaned and he dropped his hands to cup my buns. His warm hands spread over on my firm ass cheeks, kneading them and pulling me closer he caused a gasp to escape from my lips. We ground our crotches against the others. I could feel his substantial cock stiffen and jerk against my lower belly. Breaking the probing kiss, I slipped out of his grip, dropped to my knees, grasped his ass and buried my face in his crotch. The feel of the puckered ball-sack plus his hard cock was intoxicating. Thad looked down as I took his cock and slipped my tongue into the luxurious hood that covered his pinkish-purple head. I glanced up and our eyes locked. Slowly I pushed his ample foreskin back over his swollen cock-head with my lips. My tongue swirled around that delicious knob! "Ahhh," escaped from his mouth! Opening my mouth, sliding my lips down the length of his shaft, 'til my nose brushed against his shaved pubes, I inhaled his masculine, primal aroma. My tongue flicked over his under-cock. Then I began a slow sucking motion, in and out, looking up into his flushing face all the time. It was doubly exciting watching his face shift and change with each new sensation as my mouth moved over his hard cock. I can't say that I had ever been a real fan of sucking in my limited experience. But, today, I was enamored with this lush cock in my mouth. "I could easily become addicted," I thought. I was aware of every modulation on this engorged muscle in my mouth. "David," came from his very core as he reached down, drew me back up and kissed my moist mouth. Gently he laid me on the bed and covered me with his warm trembling body. "Oh, David, . . David," he murmured in my ear. Then he quickly slid down my length 'til he rested between my spread legs and nuzzled my crotch. Grasping my throbbing shaft he slipped his hot, pink lips over my cock-head--tongue flicking. "Ahhh!" escaped from my mouth. Hot lips glided all the way down my shaft, imprisoning my cock in that lascivious, hot, moist sucking mouth with its flickering tongue. His head began to move up and down the length--slowly at first and then more insistently as his passion grew. Tremors began to course through my body as I was lost in that warm miasma of delight. He was fantastic! Lifting him off my cock, I maneuvered 'til we could see the other's cock in front of out flushed faces--soixante neuf. Without a second thought we gulped the other's cock into our mouths. Heads bobbing, bodies straining, hands searching, we luxuriated in giving and receiving! My finger strayed to that tightly puckered opening and lightly circled the outline. My initial touch caused a spasmodic constriction. "Mmmm, " escaped from deep in Thad's throat! He swallowed my cock even further as I applied pressure on that button. Spreading my thighs apart, he loosed my cock and I felt the incredibly delicious touch of his tongue on my hole. "Ahhh," I vocalized with that big cock in my mouth. I could feel his cock shiver at my vocalization. Taking his thumbs and spreading my ass cheeks, he plunged his tongue into that sensitive tunnel! My whole body convulsed. Spreading a dollop of saliva over his hole, I slid my finger in part way. Thad's body shuddered as mine did. I slipped it in further and began a slow deep finger fucking of his hole. He moaned as I did. His plunging tongue coupled with his throbbing cock in my mouth as well as my plunging finger caused me to twitch. That involuntary quaking became focused on my probed, puckered hole. That muscled opening began to spasm--relaxed and pliant it would suddenly lurch closed 'round his searching tongue. This caused shudder after shudder to course through my body. My motions, my reactions were uncontrollable as I was submerged in sensual delight, verging on overload. I wanted more! Deeper and deeper I drove my finger into his hole. His cock throbbed and jerked in my mouth. Together, as if rehearsed under the control of an unseen director, we both sat up and both said, "Fuck me!" simultaneously. As stated, my same-sex experience has been somewhat . . . limited, in now way was it vast in scope or in number of contacts. I had been fucked twice before and I found the experience pleasant enough. Doubtless, that was because of the fact that my partner(s) at the time was caring, gentle and not given to blind, senseless penetration. I was lead to the threshold of insertion carefully and gently. The actual act proceeded in stages 'til I was able to accommodate the invading member with ease and delight. In that, I guess, I was fortunate! So my reaction this day, was not out of the blue, as it were. It was not some blind desire. I was not altogether heedless of the implication of having Thad's considerable member slide into my ass. But, taking all into account--including the implication--I desired his opulent member in my ass! My ass demanded it! And, something deep inside me marvelled at the considerate behavior of Thad. Maybe the Hippodrome thing was an aberration after all! Repeating, I said, "Fuck me," and added, "Thad." His eyes bore into my soul. "Have you been fucked before?" I don't know what prompted that question. Certainly, in the 'physically intimate' contacts and the more socially casual ones we participated in to date, neither of us had referred to the history of our sexual experience. Yet he asked the question as if prompted by some fore-knowledge. "A couple of times," I admitted. Believing, I think, that such an action would be precipitous on my account, he said, quietly, "I would rather you fuck me." "I know what I'm doing," and I gently pushed him back down on the bed. His eyes reflected both unbridled passion and concern. Reaching over and grasping his cock just below the head, I slowly retracted the velvety foreskin, exposing the pinkish-purple, glistening head. At the same time, I drew from the drawer of my bedside table a tube of KY. I squeezed out a liberal portion and slathered that cool jell over his upstanding, seven-and-a-half inch hard, mahogany cock. "Ahhh!" slipped from his lips. Another portion anointed my already relaxed ass and I slipped a finger in to prepare that sensitive interior. Then, thinking it would be advisable, I slipped two fingers in preparing myself for his thick cock. Straddling his hips, I began taking a series of deep breaths as one of my earlier partners had advised. This tended to relax me, sending adequate amounts of oxygen to my muscles thereby mitigating, somewhat, any pain or tensing that might ensue. I grasped his cock and rubbed that lubed head back and forth over my hole exerting more and more pressure as I did. Then taking a deep breath, I bore down purposefully and that formidable head slipped passed that muscled gate and popped in". "Ahhh! we both uttered. There was some discomfort, I breathed and fought to relax. Luckily, the height of passion to which Thad had brought me helped to accommodate that considerable plum. Soon I was able to bear down again. More of that cock slipped in--the discomfort was considerably diminished. I lifted up slightly and lowered my hips over that penetrating cock, even further. Still I concentrated--gazing into the distance of my desire. Finally I sat all the way down. I was impaled. I was utterly stuffed. Filled! Penetrated! Crammed with his cock! Thad's cock in my ass felt exceedingly desirable and so right. Now focusing my eyes on Thad's, I saw a mixture of passion, immense pleasure and no small amount of relief. The same emotions must have been on my face too, 'cause as I focused clearly, his beautiful mouth broke into a wide, brilliant smile. He sat up, clasped by face and kissed me. Thus connected I began a slow rising and descending on that powerful shaft as our tongues danced together. Then Thad groaned and fell back onto the pillow. The sensation of his cock sliding in and out of my hot love-tunnel was almost more he could bear, certainly more than I can adequately describe in words. I continued my deliberate movement. Obviously, Thad found it entirely enjoyable. He closed his eyes and his head lolled back and forth on the pillow. I grasped my splayed knees for support and began to quicken my bouncing on his cock. I varied my speed. Several times I lifted up 'til all but his cock-head was exposed and then I'd lunge back down, quickly burying his entire tool deep in my ass. "Oh! Gawd!" he groaned. I did it again. The same reaction. Finally, I went wild! I bounced up and down like a machine gone wild! I fucked his cock uncontrollably. My balls slapped against his lower belly an my own dick danced wantonly--waving in the air above his navel! "Ahhh!" escaped again and again from his lips. I couldn't help but be aware of his head whipping back and forth in uncontrolled, wanton excitement. Several times Thad reached for my cock. I wanted him to be centered completely on his cock! I pushed them away. Ultimately, I pinned his hands on either side of his shoulders. My pistoning hips had their way on his upstanding, steel-hard pole. Suddenly, I felt a perceptible enlarging of his cock! This was soon followed by Thad digging his heels into the mattress as he forced his hips upwards. His movement lifted his hips and me clear of the mattress. With his cock completely buried deep in me he exploded! Again and again he drove upwards. I was nearly unseated from this cosmic driven, fucking bronco. "ARGHHH! AHHHHH! Ahhhhh, Ahh," he yelled in diminishing volume. I could feel his cock spasming within me as he flooded my insides with his viscous load. Then finally he murmured, "Oh! My gawd!" And, he sank back onto the mattress, completely spent! I kept my position, reveling in the feeling of him inside me. As his cock began to subside, mine did too. Thad opened his eyes--they were still passion glazed. I bent over, careful not to dislodge his shrinking dick and kissed him gently on the mouth! He slowly enfolded me in his arms and held me. "Oh, David . . . that was wonderful," me murmured in my ear. "Mmmmm," was all I answered. Then, as if more aware, "You didn't cum!" "No, but you sure did!" is said with a quiet chuckle. He drew me close and whispered, "Let me take care of you!" "I'm perfectly fine just like this." We cuddled even closer together and drifted into the sleep of contentment. I have long realized that the joy in making love or having sex, as the case may be, is in making love and/or having sex. Orgasms can be phenomenally exciting and fulfilling, on the one hand, and merely a temporary release, on the other. This afternoon with Thad I was phenomenally excited and fulfilled! An orgasm would have been wonderful, but not a requirement at this time. Too many people place too much emphasis on orgasm and not enough on the act of making love. Is the 'end' of making love orgasm? About forty-five minutes later I awoke to Thad's stirring beneath me. I must have become too heavy for him. I raised up as he opened his eyes. We smiled at each other and I carefully raised my body as his cock slipped out of my ass. "Mmmm," he uttered, "I think I've died and gone to heaven!" He smiled. "Well, you may be in heaven, " I quipped, "But, I'm hungry as hell!" Thad let loose a rolling, baritone laugh, raised up, kissed me and said, "OK, I promised you lunch . . . guess it's time I paid up!" We got out of the bed, padded to the bathroom and showered together quietly and intimately, but without passion. Our hands soaped and bathed the other with out the arousing, impassioned ardor that had developed in the bed. It was a low-key, familiarizing time in that shower. Then we went to lunch.